1
00:00:05,322 --> 00:00:12,096
From the marble steps of old DC
to the sun soaked Tampa coast.

2
00:00:12,097 --> 00:00:16,884
I have been to every place where
you can find a human race but

3
00:00:16,885 --> 00:00:19,272
I have been Vicki the mooooooost!

4
00:00:20,280 --> 00:00:23,842
I'm gonna go get a shovel,
because theater is dead.

5
00:00:23,843 --> 00:00:24,342
Shh.

6
00:00:34,035 --> 00:00:34,818
Hi Starburns.

7
00:00:34,819 --> 00:00:39,410
Todd, you know you don't have to
creep around to be weird, right?

8
00:00:39,411 --> 00:00:41,520
You're weird at picnics.

9
00:00:41,521 --> 00:00:43,410
Did you hear about the paintball game?

10
00:00:43,411 --> 00:00:44,480
Yeah, I heard there was no paintball.

11
00:00:44,481 --> 00:00:45,760
I heard it was banned.

12
00:00:45,761 --> 00:00:48,640
Well, you can't believe
everything you hear.

13
00:00:48,641 --> 00:00:52,579
Okay, you just asked
if I heard something and

14
00:00:52,580 --> 00:00:55,905
now you're invalidating the whole.

15
00:00:55,906 --> 00:00:56,405
Oh! Aah!

16
00:01:33,659 --> 00:01:41,679
Do you know why I beat you, Todd?

17
00:01:41,680 --> 00:01:44,825
Seriously, you don't?

18
00:01:44,826 --> 00:01:46,153
Cuz I don't either, but that was insane.

19
00:01:46,154 --> 00:01:47,767
I'm 50, here.

20
00:01:48,986 --> 00:01:50,003
I think, I think I could win this year.

21
00:01:50,004 --> 00:01:51,384
I think I can go all the way.

22
00:01:51,385 --> 00:01:55,129
Actually, you'll be settling for silver.

23
00:02:30,977 --> 00:02:33,613
Names, you give me names or
you're expelled, that simple.

24
00:02:33,614 --> 00:02:36,875
I told ya, I don't know nothing
about no secret paintball games.

25
00:02:36,876 --> 00:02:39,384
This is from huffing paint, I swear.

26
00:02:39,385 --> 00:02:41,421
Escort Alex Osbourne off campus.

27
00:02:41,422 --> 00:02:42,431
Hey, hey, hey!

28
00:02:42,432 --> 00:02:43,598
Hold your horse panties.

29
00:02:43,599 --> 00:02:45,537
You didn't tell me you knew my name.

30
00:02:45,538 --> 00:02:48,909
Look, I was about to take Todd
out, and then we both got shot.

31
00:02:48,910 --> 00:02:50,238
Guy was invisible.

32
00:02:50,239 --> 00:02:51,649
A ghost.

33
00:02:51,650 --> 00:02:54,395
Uses silver paint.

34
00:02:54,396 --> 00:02:55,525
A ghost?

35
00:02:55,526 --> 00:02:56,035
So no name?

36
00:02:56,036 --> 00:02:57,416
I'd call him Silver Ghost, but

37
00:02:57,417 --> 00:03:00,752
that's probably already taken by an
indie comic book or a terrible tequila.

38
00:03:00,753 --> 00:03:02,552
Bye forever Starburns.

39
00:03:02,553 --> 00:03:03,125
No.

40
00:03:03,126 --> 00:03:04,823
No. No, no, no, no.

41
00:03:04,824 --> 00:03:05,574
No, don't make me. Frankie?

42
00:03:05,575 --> 00:03:08,285
Dean, I respect that you are
my boss, so either fire me or

43
00:03:08,286 --> 00:03:10,663
let me handle this and go to your office.

44
00:03:10,664 --> 00:03:14,850
I want to give your paintball
friends a message, Jeff.

45
00:03:14,851 --> 00:03:15,953
Good morning.

46
00:03:15,954 --> 00:03:18,320
This era is over.

47
00:03:18,321 --> 00:03:20,640
It was fun while it lasted,
but now mommy's home.

48
00:03:20,641 --> 00:03:23,550
Everybody with a gun
will be expelled or fired.

49
00:03:23,551 --> 00:03:24,480
Don't worry, Miss Dart.

50
00:03:24,481 --> 00:03:26,520
My boys and I will get
this cleaned up in no time.

51
00:03:26,521 --> 00:03:27,340
Thank you.

52
00:03:27,341 --> 00:03:29,200
Jeff, do you know Deputy Custodian Lapari.

53
00:03:29,201 --> 00:03:32,670
Oh, we haven't had the pleasure
because Mr. Winger has caused me nothing

54
00:03:32,671 --> 00:03:34,900
but pain over the years
with his paint balling.

55
00:03:34,901 --> 00:03:35,990
I'm sorry. I quit that.

56
00:03:35,991 --> 00:03:36,950
That's behind me.

57
00:03:36,951 --> 00:03:37,450
Sure it is.

58
00:03:39,630 --> 00:03:41,400
Handling turds has rubbed off on him.

59
00:03:41,401 --> 00:03:44,800
Custodian Lapari is gonna be
honored this week at the Gala for

60
00:03:44,801 --> 00:03:45,970
a Cleaner Greendale.

61
00:03:45,971 --> 00:03:47,260
I'd like you to introduce him.

62
00:03:47,261 --> 00:03:47,930
Why would I do that?

63
00:03:47,931 --> 00:03:50,080
Because you're the de
facto leader of Greendale.

64
00:03:50,081 --> 00:03:53,400
And if you gave a speech coming out
against paintball, it might end it.

65
00:03:53,401 --> 00:03:54,110
No. No.

66
00:03:54,111 --> 00:03:56,730
Just because I'm not playing doesn't
mean I'm the weenie that tells

67
00:03:56,731 --> 00:03:57,310
people not to.

68
00:03:58,610 --> 00:03:59,920
Please?

69
00:03:59,921 --> 00:04:01,062
If not for Greendale, then for me?

70
00:04:03,465 --> 00:04:06,507
I'll think about it.

71
00:04:10,436 --> 00:04:11,498
Look, I was a different guy back then.

72
00:04:11,499 --> 00:04:12,750
Yeah. Two, never mind.

73
00:04:12,751 --> 00:04:14,270
Well, Frankie's upset.

74
00:04:14,271 --> 00:04:15,410
Did she break up with someone?

75
00:04:15,411 --> 00:04:16,320
Which gender?

76
00:04:16,321 --> 00:04:17,942
I don't care, but everybody else does.

77
00:04:17,943 --> 00:04:19,382
She's upset about paintball.

78
00:04:19,383 --> 00:04:20,392
Paint?

79
00:04:21,645 --> 00:04:22,551
Ball?

80
00:04:22,552 --> 00:04:25,743
Occasionally our campus erupts into
a flawless, post modern, homage to

81
00:04:25,744 --> 00:04:29,550
action adventure mythology,
mischaracterized by the ignorant as parody.

82
00:04:29,551 --> 00:04:33,580
Apparently, now that Frankie's declared
it illegal, it's gone underground,

83
00:04:33,581 --> 00:04:35,315
and is still happening as we speak.

84
00:04:35,316 --> 00:04:36,680
Well maybe for freshman, but

85
00:04:36,681 --> 00:04:38,930
honestly we've kind of
done it to death, right?

86
00:04:38,931 --> 00:04:39,650
Done it?

87
00:04:39,651 --> 00:04:41,035
Nailed it? I've won a few time now.

88
00:04:41,036 --> 00:04:43,870
No, who keeps track of that?

89
00:04:43,871 --> 00:04:45,402
Lame! I'm thinking mostly about Frankie.

90
00:04:45,403 --> 00:04:49,107
She's our friend, and she cares about
this school, and I think it would

91
00:04:49,108 --> 00:04:52,286
break her heart if she caught
any of us undermining her goals.

92
00:04:52,287 --> 00:04:52,948
Yeah. Yeah.

93
00:04:52,949 --> 00:04:54,545
I agree. A reasonable agreement.

94
00:04:54,546 --> 00:04:56,077
You're both right.

95
00:04:56,078 --> 00:04:56,918
Well, meeting adjourned, I guess. Hm-hm.

96
00:04:56,919 --> 00:04:57,557
This is good.

97
00:04:57,558 --> 00:04:59,455
I'm glad we all agree not to do this.

98
00:04:59,456 --> 00:05:02,508
Is gonna make it a lot
easier for me to beat you.

99
00:05:04,813 --> 00:05:07,536
What the hell?

100
00:05:07,537 --> 00:05:09,911
They killed meeeeeee!

101
00:05:09,912 --> 00:05:10,828
Whoa, whoa, whoa.

102
00:05:10,829 --> 00:05:11,954
Don't do anything stupid.

103
00:05:11,955 --> 00:05:13,161
Do something stupid.

104
00:05:13,162 --> 00:05:13,953
I thought we weren't playing.

105
00:05:13,954 --> 00:05:14,745
Is this an alliance?

106
00:05:14,746 --> 00:05:15,328
I don't know, is it?

107
00:05:15,329 --> 00:05:17,240
Who's people? Cut the crap, Elroy.

108
00:05:17,241 --> 00:05:18,297
Stop that, what are you doing?

109
00:05:19,536 --> 00:05:20,745
Aah! Go back to class.

110
00:05:20,746 --> 00:05:22,661
Winger's playing paintball.

111
00:05:22,662 --> 00:05:24,245
No, he's not.

112
00:05:24,246 --> 00:05:25,286
Don't think about it, don't think about it.

113
00:05:25,287 --> 00:05:26,495
Don't do it.

114
00:05:36,536 --> 00:05:40,661
Grow up.

115
00:05:40,662 --> 00:05:41,536
What are you doing?

116
00:05:41,537 --> 00:05:42,870
I'm not playing.

117
00:05:42,871 --> 00:05:45,560
For a guy who's not playing, you
sure are shooting a bunch of mothers.

118
00:05:45,561 --> 00:05:46,350
That was instinct.

119
00:05:46,351 --> 00:05:47,930
I can't help being a bad ass.

120
00:05:47,931 --> 00:05:49,930
But I am not playing.

121
00:05:49,931 --> 00:05:51,910
Okay, so let's make this painless.

122
00:05:51,911 --> 00:05:52,810
Take it easy. Leave her alone.

123
00:05:52,811 --> 00:05:53,480
Stop it.

124
00:05:53,481 --> 00:05:54,730
Knock it off.

125
00:05:54,731 --> 00:05:55,890
Frankie is coming.

126
00:05:55,891 --> 00:05:57,495
What is important to you people?

127
00:06:00,120 --> 00:06:04,745
Jeff Winger shot me.

128
00:06:04,746 --> 00:06:07,203
Do I use echo location to navigate?

129
00:06:07,204 --> 00:06:09,078
Why would you ask that after
learning you aren't a bat?

130
00:06:09,079 --> 00:06:10,120
Hello.

131
00:06:10,121 --> 00:06:11,536
Hi, Frankie.

132
00:06:11,537 --> 00:06:12,078
Frankie.

133
00:06:12,079 --> 00:06:16,828
Yes, Jeff, student just passed by
me and said you shot him with paint.

134
00:06:18,078 --> 00:06:19,953
Okay.

135
00:06:19,954 --> 00:06:22,578
So, you are definitely
not playing paint ball?

136
00:06:22,579 --> 00:06:24,203
No.

137
00:06:24,204 --> 00:06:26,572
Frankie, I've been cool up
until now, but I gotta tell you,

138
00:06:26,573 --> 00:06:29,370
I'm starting to get offended
by your suspicion about this.

139
00:06:29,371 --> 00:06:31,550
Well. Well is a hole in the
ground when you're thirsty.

140
00:06:31,551 --> 00:06:34,120
Oh. I'm telling you, I
ain't playing no paintball.

141
00:06:34,121 --> 00:06:36,328
Boo hee haw, boo hew haw, bam.

142
00:06:36,329 --> 00:06:39,828
Okay, take it easy guys.

143
00:06:39,829 --> 00:06:42,900
And for what it's worth, thank
you for teaching me the cool,

144
00:06:42,901 --> 00:06:45,988
new way to respond to
people saying the word well.

145
00:06:45,989 --> 00:06:47,370
All right guys.

146
00:06:47,371 --> 00:06:49,995
Bye Franks take it easy.

147
00:06:53,120 --> 00:06:54,703
Would you stop doing that?

148
00:06:54,704 --> 00:06:55,703
Don't hate the player.

149
00:06:55,704 --> 00:06:57,703
Colloquialisms aside, Annie's right.

150
00:06:57,704 --> 00:07:00,829
The thing to hate this year is the game.

151
00:07:00,830 --> 00:07:03,995
Can I show you all something?

152
00:07:03,996 --> 00:07:06,700
You know this game is being run
anonymously through an online server, but

153
00:07:06,701 --> 00:07:07,232
who set it up?

154
00:07:07,233 --> 00:07:09,752
They haven't left a clue which is a
really big clue because if they're this

155
00:07:09,753 --> 00:07:10,401
good at anything.

156
00:07:10,402 --> 00:07:11,423
Why are they here?

157
00:07:11,424 --> 00:07:15,580
Whoever's running this server is
offering a huge cash prize to the winner.

158
00:07:15,581 --> 00:07:17,250
More evidence they don't go here.

159
00:07:17,251 --> 00:07:19,245
And they seem to have
their own man in the game.

160
00:07:19,246 --> 00:07:22,870
You've probably heard about a mysterious
player using silver paint balls.

161
00:07:22,871 --> 00:07:24,703
Well, look at these IP addresses.

162
00:07:24,704 --> 00:07:28,120
If that means what I think it
means, we're dealing with gibberish.

163
00:07:28,121 --> 00:07:29,676
Those are mine.

164
00:07:29,677 --> 00:07:30,220
That's a student or

165
00:07:30,221 --> 00:07:33,420
teacher on this campus opening an
encrypted tunnel to an off campus site.

166
00:07:33,421 --> 00:07:33,920
Big deal.

167
00:07:33,921 --> 00:07:34,810
I do that all the time.

168
00:07:34,811 --> 00:07:36,520
Oh, I save it all up for Saturday night.

169
00:07:36,521 --> 00:07:37,820
You're right, it's no big deal.

170
00:07:37,821 --> 00:07:40,260
Unless you always do it immediately
before a paintball player is taken out

171
00:07:40,261 --> 00:07:43,490
with premium grade silver
paintballs by an unknown shooter.

172
00:07:43,491 --> 00:07:47,970
And unless the IP that you're
connecting to is this one.

173
00:07:47,971 --> 00:07:49,100
Aah, of course.

174
00:07:49,101 --> 00:07:50,870
So who's the Silver paintballs guy?

175
00:07:50,871 --> 00:07:54,555
Spy, assassin, mercenary, bad
person walking among us laughing,

176
00:07:54,556 --> 00:07:55,620
laughing quietly.

177
00:07:55,621 --> 00:07:57,703
And then if we look pretending that
he was looking at something funny.

178
00:07:57,704 --> 00:08:01,953
I suppose you all should be in trouble.

179
00:08:01,954 --> 00:08:06,872
But desperate deans hm, but

180
00:08:06,873 --> 00:08:11,622
desperates, but des, but

181
00:08:11,623 --> 00:08:18,245
desperate deans call
for Deansperate measures.

182
00:08:18,246 --> 00:08:23,578
From here on out, you work for me.

183
00:08:23,579 --> 00:08:25,762
Everything you're saying
just proves my point,

184
00:08:25,763 --> 00:08:28,400
that the only way to lose
this game is to play it.

185
00:08:28,401 --> 00:08:30,650
And I say we do the honest
thing, and tell Frankie.

186
00:08:30,651 --> 00:08:33,200
The school's playing and losing
already, Frankie included.

187
00:08:33,201 --> 00:08:34,830
If the people in this room play to win,

188
00:08:34,831 --> 00:08:36,490
we can not only take City College's money.

189
00:08:36,491 --> 00:08:39,990
We can expose Silverballs, and, in
turn, City College, and save Greendale.

190
00:08:39,991 --> 00:08:41,910
Which is basically saving Frankie.

191
00:08:41,911 --> 00:08:45,430
All right, so we lay low, and we
try to find out who Silverballs is.

192
00:08:45,431 --> 00:08:48,030
But we're not, to be clear,
we did not vote on that name.

193
00:08:48,031 --> 00:08:49,550
Here's a name you don't have to vote on.

194
00:08:50,580 --> 00:08:54,140
You just became the Secret
Dean Force, The Dean Boys,

195
00:08:54,141 --> 00:08:56,610
Task Force Dean, His Dean, Secret People.

196
00:08:56,611 --> 00:08:58,358
I know the word Dean is in it.

197
00:08:58,359 --> 00:09:01,120
Because when the politicians fail,
and the peace talks fall apart.

198
00:09:01,121 --> 00:09:04,040
When it seems like all is lost, and

199
00:09:04,041 --> 00:09:09,495
nobody really needs the Dean
anymore because Frankie's here.

200
00:09:09,496 --> 00:09:10,661
That's when you go in.

201
00:09:10,662 --> 00:09:15,536
The last bastion of a bygone
era when people respected me.

202
00:09:18,496 --> 00:09:26,786
Dean Force One.

203
00:09:26,787 --> 00:09:28,578
If you're gonna hang around,
we could use some water.

204
00:09:28,579 --> 00:09:30,828
On it.

205
00:09:33,536 --> 00:09:36,620
Club Club, the last club
I thought I'd ever join.

206
00:09:36,621 --> 00:09:39,078
Your target is a small time
paintball munitions dealer.

207
00:09:39,079 --> 00:09:44,286
All we know is he's a white male over
30 and his street name is Fun Dad.

208
00:09:44,287 --> 00:09:47,536
All right is everybody in this
club ready to party the way they

209
00:09:47,537 --> 00:09:48,245
do in clubs?

210
00:09:51,703 --> 00:09:54,484
Connor stop horsing around
with Billy and party.

211
00:09:54,485 --> 00:09:56,445
DJ might be the guy from MeowMeowBeenz.

212
00:09:56,446 --> 00:09:57,968
We need clean intelligence, Abed.

213
00:09:57,969 --> 00:09:59,176
No references, call backs.

214
00:09:59,177 --> 00:10:01,834
Excuse me good sir, if
I could have the mic.

215
00:10:01,835 --> 00:10:07,079
Attention shoppers there's a sale
on partying in my pants aisle.

216
00:10:07,080 --> 00:10:09,137
Everything in my pants must go.

217
00:10:09,138 --> 00:10:12,570
Well not everything, that
doesn't, you know what I.

218
00:10:12,571 --> 00:10:13,080
Koogler?

219
00:10:14,290 --> 00:10:16,940
Aladdin. I thought your name was Fun Dad.

220
00:10:16,941 --> 00:10:17,500
No.

221
00:10:17,501 --> 00:10:19,020
That was easy.

222
00:10:19,021 --> 00:10:19,790
I need ammunition.

223
00:10:19,791 --> 00:10:21,810
Are you a narc? Why would
I answer that honestly?

224
00:10:21,811 --> 00:10:22,590
Good point.

225
00:10:22,591 --> 00:10:23,880
It's how most people answer, so.

226
00:10:24,880 --> 00:10:25,890
Yeah, come on, it's a bad question.

227
00:10:25,891 --> 00:10:27,000
You just get so many narcs.

228
00:10:27,001 --> 00:10:27,750
Hey don't forget.

229
00:10:27,751 --> 00:10:31,310
There's a sign up sheet on the
back wall for Club Club Club.

230
00:10:31,311 --> 00:10:34,100
Listen, I'm so glad Omar that
you're interested in paintball.

231
00:10:34,101 --> 00:10:36,130
Now I have to tell you,
no shooting in here.

232
00:10:36,131 --> 00:10:38,930
The first rule of Club Club is
that we are not a fight club.

233
00:10:38,931 --> 00:10:43,700
The second rule is that if you're a
hot lady, you have to have sex with me.

234
00:10:43,701 --> 00:10:44,950
And then there's a bunch of rules and

235
00:10:44,951 --> 00:10:48,270
restriction that they've just now been
adding because of the lawsuits based

236
00:10:48,271 --> 00:10:51,520
on that, second rule, which,
I'm not allowed to call a rule.

237
00:10:51,521 --> 00:10:52,300
That was my screw up.

238
00:10:52,301 --> 00:10:53,722
Let me show you what I've got here.

239
00:10:53,723 --> 00:10:56,380
All right, these are blue travelers.

240
00:10:56,381 --> 00:11:00,740
I think I've got some sarcastic
mellow yellows in here.

241
00:11:00,741 --> 00:11:01,410
Those are great.

242
00:11:01,411 --> 00:11:03,340
And these are green meanies.

243
00:11:03,341 --> 00:11:06,930
They explode on contact, and
they mark your target with paint.

244
00:11:06,931 --> 00:11:08,610
That's a description of every paint ball.

245
00:11:08,611 --> 00:11:10,130
Okay, so you know your stuff.

246
00:11:10,131 --> 00:11:11,350
Why don't I give you a pro discount?

247
00:11:11,351 --> 00:11:14,959
I'm thinking something more
exotic, something in silver?

248
00:11:17,768 --> 00:11:20,578
Yeah, okay, great.

249
00:11:20,579 --> 00:11:21,948
I think that's a great idea, you know?

250
00:11:28,428 --> 00:11:29,300
You want to stay in the game?

251
00:11:29,301 --> 00:11:29,820
Talk.

252
00:11:31,080 --> 00:11:32,610
Okay, look.

253
00:11:32,611 --> 00:11:34,130
If you're a narc, you can't play.

254
00:11:34,131 --> 00:11:39,532
And if you're playing,
I do accept sex for ammo.

255
00:11:39,533 --> 00:11:41,320
Or beer, right?

256
00:11:41,321 --> 00:11:42,250
But not Bitcoin.

257
00:11:42,251 --> 00:11:43,250
I mean, I believe in it.

258
00:11:43,251 --> 00:11:46,580
I just, I think I feel
like I need it to stabilize.

259
00:11:46,581 --> 00:11:49,260
Who is Silver Man?

260
00:11:49,261 --> 00:11:50,435
My accountant?

261
00:11:50,436 --> 00:11:51,150
Oh, how do you know David?

262
00:11:51,151 --> 00:11:52,220
You know what I mean.

263
00:11:52,221 --> 00:11:53,440
Who buys the silver ammo?

264
00:11:53,441 --> 00:11:57,401
Oh, look, if i tell you
that, I'm pretendsies dead.

265
00:12:08,476 --> 00:12:11,059
Koogler? We got him.

266
00:12:11,060 --> 00:12:13,032
That's good.

267
00:12:13,033 --> 00:12:14,045
Then he wont be needing this.

268
00:12:17,000 --> 00:12:20,385
Koogler's thumb drive is actually
a hardware encryption key.

269
00:12:20,386 --> 00:12:23,160
Hm, can it be unencrypted?

270
00:12:23,161 --> 00:12:25,340
No, you use it to decrypt
something encrypted.

271
00:12:25,341 --> 00:12:27,260
A key with a lock on it.

272
00:12:27,261 --> 00:12:28,700
I'll give our enemy this.

273
00:12:28,701 --> 00:12:29,380
They're clever.

274
00:12:30,590 --> 00:12:31,500
Why did they pair us together?

275
00:12:32,760 --> 00:12:36,050
Look, a message chain between
Koogler and Silverballs.

276
00:12:36,051 --> 00:12:38,260
Now he's ordering a huge batch of ammo, and

277
00:12:38,261 --> 00:12:41,200
stressing that he needs it
before the Cleaner Greendale Gala.

278
00:12:41,201 --> 00:12:43,690
City College is
- Whoa!

279
00:12:43,691 --> 00:12:46,940
Oh! City College is going
to crash Frankie's Gala.

280
00:12:46,941 --> 00:12:50,600
And here's where Silverballs
decides on silver balls.

281
00:12:50,601 --> 00:12:55,120
Which color will look coolest
against a navy blue jumpsuit?

282
00:12:55,121 --> 00:12:57,150
Who wears a jumpsuit to a black tie gala?

283
00:12:57,151 --> 00:12:59,810
The guest of honor.

284
00:13:01,900 --> 00:13:03,380
Is your Internet not working?

285
00:13:03,381 --> 00:13:04,250
It's one photo.

286
00:13:04,251 --> 00:13:05,231
It's taking an hour.

287
00:13:05,232 --> 00:13:09,711
You have keystrokes programmed
to, eesh, that's dorky.

288
00:13:09,712 --> 00:13:12,381
Looks like we'll be renting formal wear.

289
00:13:12,382 --> 00:13:13,973
I'll measure Jeffrey.

290
00:13:19,103 --> 00:13:21,850
Mister Winger, you clean up nice.

291
00:13:21,851 --> 00:13:23,090
Oh, come on. I'm always good looking.

292
00:13:24,170 --> 00:13:26,340
This seems ambitious.

293
00:13:26,341 --> 00:13:31,080
Well, the monorail is more symbolic
of our potential than it is potential,

294
00:13:31,081 --> 00:13:33,260
and none of our buildings
will ever be shaped like this.

295
00:13:33,261 --> 00:13:35,830
But with a little work,
this is how we could feel.

296
00:13:35,831 --> 00:13:37,818
You should be proud.

297
00:13:37,819 --> 00:13:41,810
Thank you, Jeff, for supporting this.

298
00:13:43,400 --> 00:13:44,220
Why is that in your ear?

299
00:13:45,320 --> 00:13:48,269
Oh, I'm raising awareness of
Armenian American stereotypes.

300
00:13:48,270 --> 00:13:49,390
Bale to belfry.

301
00:13:49,391 --> 00:13:50,740
Let's check in.

302
00:13:50,741 --> 00:13:55,800
Should stereotypes have
their awareness raised, I?

303
00:13:55,801 --> 00:13:56,650
Oh, good lord.

304
00:13:56,651 --> 00:13:57,780
I'm questioning you again.

305
00:13:57,781 --> 00:13:58,430
Why?

306
00:13:58,431 --> 00:14:00,690
Follow your bliss, sir.

307
00:14:00,691 --> 00:14:01,380
You've earned it.

308
00:14:02,960 --> 00:14:05,680
Keaton to belfry, I need to
just all make sure we are very,

309
00:14:05,681 --> 00:14:06,640
very careful here.

310
00:14:06,641 --> 00:14:07,200
Bale to Keaton,

311
00:14:07,201 --> 00:14:09,720
why don't you set a good example
by keeping your mind on the mission?

312
00:14:10,790 --> 00:14:11,700
And your eyes on the prize.

313
00:14:14,080 --> 00:14:14,760
Prize is secure.

314
00:14:14,761 --> 00:14:15,260
Keaton out.

315
00:14:16,850 --> 00:14:17,710
West to belfry.

316
00:14:17,711 --> 00:14:19,310
Entrances secure.

317
00:14:19,311 --> 00:14:21,120
Keaton to Kilmer, status.

318
00:14:21,121 --> 00:14:23,680
Kilmer to Belfry, I'm
currently examining a spoon,

319
00:14:23,681 --> 00:14:25,600
only I'm not really examining it.

320
00:14:25,601 --> 00:14:29,870
I'm using it was cover while
watching a somewhat suspicious waiter.

321
00:14:29,871 --> 00:14:31,360
Voice of Diedrich Bader to belfry.

322
00:14:31,361 --> 00:14:33,450
I've checked the custodial
wing for the third time.

323
00:14:33,451 --> 00:14:35,290
Can I come join the mission now?

324
00:14:35,291 --> 00:14:36,560
Negative voice of Diedrich Bader.

325
00:14:36,561 --> 00:14:38,170
Continue to check the custodial wing,

326
00:14:38,171 --> 00:14:41,340
and then check the parameter
of the inside of your office.

327
00:14:41,341 --> 00:14:41,840
Okay.

328
00:14:44,590 --> 00:14:46,600
And for the record, I feel
very vulnerable without a gun.

329
00:14:46,601 --> 00:14:50,690
Ugh, I know that someone
plays in this thing.

330
00:14:50,691 --> 00:14:53,656
Hey there, Dean.

331
00:14:53,657 --> 00:14:54,945
We need a custodian.

332
00:14:54,946 --> 00:14:57,562
Dean.

333
00:14:57,563 --> 00:14:58,497
Dean.

334
00:14:58,498 --> 00:14:59,809
Dean.

335
00:14:59,810 --> 00:15:00,767
Dean.

336
00:15:13,701 --> 00:15:15,931
Clooney to belfry I've
got a bogey with a gun.

337
00:15:15,932 --> 00:15:16,987
Excuse me.

338
00:15:16,988 --> 00:15:19,837
I wasn't talking to you,
I was ordering dinner.

339
00:15:19,838 --> 00:15:27,334
Yes hello can I get a bogey with a
gun no pickles and three orders of gun.

340
00:15:27,335 --> 00:15:29,563
Damn it.

341
00:15:29,564 --> 00:15:32,065
Clooney slooped the bogey, now
he's headed for the kitchen.

342
00:15:32,066 --> 00:15:35,716
Should we go?

343
00:15:35,717 --> 00:15:37,390
Negative, we don't know it's our man.

344
00:15:37,391 --> 00:15:41,511
Kilmer, Clooney do nothing unless
you can do it quietly and calmly.

345
00:15:42,637 --> 00:15:43,944
Whoa, what the hell?

346
00:15:43,945 --> 00:15:44,541
No. Nothing.

347
00:15:44,542 --> 00:15:45,777
Are you ready?

348
00:15:45,778 --> 00:15:47,947
Yes.

349
00:15:47,948 --> 00:15:50,549
Clooney to Kilmer.

350
00:15:50,550 --> 00:15:52,060
What? Should I come in now?

351
00:15:52,061 --> 00:15:55,972
No, no you can't ever come
in ever, you're sloppy.

352
00:15:55,973 --> 00:15:58,408
Excuse me can I have a word with you?

353
00:15:58,409 --> 00:15:59,453
About what?

354
00:16:02,563 --> 00:16:06,930
Well, there's been some reports
about a paintball game on campus.

355
00:16:06,931 --> 00:16:09,641
Oh yeah, you better believe
the kitchen boys are playing and

356
00:16:09,642 --> 00:16:11,463
this year we got a new winning strategy.

357
00:16:11,464 --> 00:16:14,144
Let the idiots come to you.

358
00:16:14,145 --> 00:16:20,913
Oh really, oh Britta you can come in now.

359
00:16:22,266 --> 00:16:23,351
Oh!

360
00:16:28,725 --> 00:16:29,498
Boom boom!

361
00:16:32,741 --> 00:16:33,241
Oh!

362
00:16:41,697 --> 00:16:43,084
Oh!

363
00:16:43,085 --> 00:16:45,895
Oh! Oh!

364
00:16:45,896 --> 00:16:46,395
I'm sorry!

365
00:16:49,753 --> 00:16:51,270
Agh.

366
00:16:51,271 --> 00:16:58,536
Oh! Agh!

367
00:16:58,537 --> 00:17:03,257
I stand before you one of Greendale's
biggest perpetrators of paint related

368
00:17:03,258 --> 00:17:07,628
mayhem and I am happy to say that
those days are fully behind our school.

369
00:17:07,629 --> 00:17:11,684
Looking back on those dark days,
it's clear that the only heroes were

370
00:17:11,685 --> 00:17:15,213
the janitors and the custodians
left to clean up our messes.

371
00:17:17,273 --> 00:17:20,026
Oh!

372
00:17:20,027 --> 00:17:20,624
Ow!

373
00:17:20,625 --> 00:17:22,835
Oh, ow!

374
00:17:22,836 --> 00:17:24,152
Ow!

375
00:17:24,153 --> 00:17:24,757
Oh.

376
00:17:24,758 --> 00:17:26,393
Oh.

377
00:17:34,414 --> 00:17:38,450
So it is with great shame and
poetic irony that I present

378
00:17:38,451 --> 00:17:43,027
the custodial innovation award
to Vice Custodian, Lapari.

379
00:17:47,055 --> 00:17:47,857
What the hell are you doing in there?

380
00:17:47,858 --> 00:17:48,762
Jeff, focus.

381
00:17:48,763 --> 00:17:49,546
You all right, man?

382
00:17:49,547 --> 00:17:51,148
Yes. It wasn't our guy.

383
00:17:51,149 --> 00:17:53,226
The assassin is not in the kitchen.

384
00:17:53,227 --> 00:17:54,010
He's still at large.

385
00:17:54,011 --> 00:17:59,548
And now let's all enact what I
hope will become a yearly tradition,

386
00:17:59,549 --> 00:18:01,985
the popping of the balloons.

387
00:18:01,986 --> 00:18:02,629
What?

388
00:18:02,630 --> 00:18:10,587
And Stay calm, check your zones.

389
00:18:12,048 --> 00:18:15,560
Who's that?

390
00:18:15,561 --> 00:18:16,200
Where?

391
00:18:16,201 --> 00:18:16,978
Where?

392
00:18:16,979 --> 00:18:18,296
I don't see anything.

393
00:18:18,297 --> 00:18:19,155
Him.

394
00:18:23,461 --> 00:18:23,961
Oh!

395
00:18:45,507 --> 00:18:46,007
Sorry.

396
00:18:56,601 --> 00:18:58,540
It's the custodians.

397
00:18:58,541 --> 00:19:02,560
Greendale's custodial staff is running
the underground paintball tournament

398
00:19:02,561 --> 00:19:05,110
probably with City College money.

399
00:19:05,111 --> 00:19:08,220
The people that clean Greendale
don't want a cleaner Greendale,

400
00:19:08,221 --> 00:19:12,030
they want Greendale to be afraid
of itself and reliant on them.

401
00:19:14,500 --> 00:19:16,010
Oh, what an exciting story.

402
00:19:16,011 --> 00:19:18,350
We're got a real life
M Night Shamalyan here.

403
00:19:18,351 --> 00:19:19,350
It's Shyamalan.

404
00:19:19,351 --> 00:19:25,450
Unfortunately, as with his stories
I don't anticipate yours holding up.

405
00:19:25,451 --> 00:19:26,300
Easy target.

406
00:19:26,301 --> 00:19:28,100
Who's heckling me?

407
00:19:28,101 --> 00:19:29,910
Oh, of course, it's the Indian guy.

408
00:19:29,911 --> 00:19:30,510
I'm Arabic.

409
00:19:30,511 --> 00:19:33,640
Ow, okay, let's go with that.

410
00:19:34,940 --> 00:19:38,150
Anyway, you know what goes
great with crazy stories?

411
00:19:38,151 --> 00:19:40,040
Evidence. You're the evidence.

412
00:19:40,041 --> 00:19:44,190
Come back to our side and tell the
truth, so City College can be exposed.

413
00:19:44,191 --> 00:19:46,830
Or I could leave and get
a job at City College,

414
00:19:46,831 --> 00:19:50,610
where their pay phones aren't only
herpe-free, they're actually removed.

415
00:19:50,611 --> 00:19:52,560
You think City College will
take you if you lose their

416
00:19:52,561 --> 00:19:53,501
paintball prize money?

417
00:19:53,502 --> 00:19:56,824
I don't know how many men you
have left in your game, but

418
00:19:56,825 --> 00:20:00,314
if you're leaving this room,
it needs to be a small army.

419
00:20:00,315 --> 00:20:01,306
Oh!

420
00:20:01,307 --> 00:20:01,806
Mm.

421
00:20:05,759 --> 00:20:08,064
Okay. I agree.

422
00:20:13,000 --> 00:20:19,546
Annie look

423
00:20:19,547 --> 00:20:23,185
out.

424
00:20:26,120 --> 00:20:26,620
Oh.

425
00:20:30,900 --> 00:20:31,933
An eye for an eye.

426
00:20:35,556 --> 00:20:38,295
Oh.

427
00:20:38,296 --> 00:20:39,712
Aah!

428
00:20:42,614 --> 00:20:43,357
Oh!

429
00:20:43,358 --> 00:20:45,691
No!

430
00:20:45,692 --> 00:20:50,996
No!

431
00:20:55,124 --> 00:20:55,624
Aah!

432
00:20:57,174 --> 00:20:58,452
Ow!

433
00:20:58,453 --> 00:21:02,869
We're the last ones left?

434
00:21:02,870 --> 00:21:03,750
Cover me.

435
00:21:03,751 --> 00:21:05,510
Oh, dreams do come true!

436
00:21:12,301 --> 00:21:13,219
Okay, we got him.

437
00:21:13,220 --> 00:21:14,310
He went into a supply closet.

438
00:21:14,311 --> 00:21:14,885
I know.

439
00:21:14,886 --> 00:21:17,427
I guess to a custodian, a
supply closet is like a location.

440
00:21:24,432 --> 00:21:26,791
I'm actually relieved. I thought
this was gonna be a whole gauntlet.

441
00:21:26,792 --> 00:21:28,240
My heart was not in it.

442
00:21:28,241 --> 00:21:29,910
I mean, I shot a disabled kid.

443
00:21:29,911 --> 00:21:30,860
I can't do this anymore.

444
00:21:30,861 --> 00:21:32,319
What are you looking at?

445
00:21:32,320 --> 00:21:33,707
This isn't a closet.

446
00:21:47,948 --> 00:21:50,004
Oh, it's really nice of you guys to visit,

447
00:21:50,005 --> 00:21:52,458
not that you ever would
have done it intentionally.

448
00:21:55,233 --> 00:21:56,708
Your steamy pipes can't stop us.

449
00:21:56,709 --> 00:22:00,530
Well, it would be a pretty
bad museum exhibit if it could.

450
00:22:01,970 --> 00:22:03,280
Give it up, Lapari.

451
00:22:03,281 --> 00:22:05,180
Hey Dean, I have a microphone.

452
00:22:05,181 --> 00:22:06,260
You have a beer.

453
00:22:06,261 --> 00:22:06,760
God has a plan.

454
00:22:09,472 --> 00:22:10,302
I have a beer?

455
00:22:10,303 --> 00:22:12,390
It's an old stand up line
for using up hecklers.

456
00:22:12,391 --> 00:22:12,890
Keep moving.

457
00:22:14,210 --> 00:22:15,140
Did you do stand up?

458
00:22:16,610 --> 00:22:18,000
Is that how you became a custodian?

459
00:22:19,240 --> 00:22:22,220
Listen man, I was there in the 90s.

460
00:22:22,221 --> 00:22:24,550
I did a few open mic nights.

461
00:22:24,551 --> 00:22:26,650
I saw what karaoke did.

462
00:22:26,651 --> 00:22:29,550
It wasn't cool man.

463
00:22:29,551 --> 00:22:32,667
We're not so different, you and I, Dean.

464
00:22:32,668 --> 00:22:35,419
Don't you see we're both
in the same situation?

465
00:22:35,420 --> 00:22:38,548
Oh, you gotta be kidding me.

466
00:22:41,874 --> 00:22:42,715
Screw it. Shoot them all.

467
00:22:42,716 --> 00:22:43,616
One of them is him.

468
00:22:43,617 --> 00:22:44,474
Shoot every single one.

469
00:22:52,793 --> 00:22:53,373
He's not back here.

470
00:22:53,374 --> 00:22:54,320
Okay.

471
00:22:54,321 --> 00:22:54,987
Reload.

472
00:22:54,988 --> 00:22:58,620
Must be a mock jousting
bridge over sawdust canyon.

473
00:22:59,920 --> 00:23:02,400
We're both dinosaurs roaring
in vain at the mammals.

474
00:23:02,401 --> 00:23:05,700
What do you think was gonna
happen when you let Frankie Dart

475
00:23:05,701 --> 00:23:07,550
into our world?

476
00:23:07,551 --> 00:23:11,230
How much more clean can she make
the school before she notices

477
00:23:11,231 --> 00:23:12,630
the dirtiest thing of all about it.

478
00:23:14,290 --> 00:23:16,560
You think I'm a villain, but I'm not.

479
00:23:16,561 --> 00:23:20,890
I'm defending a place where we
all get to be our own heroes.

480
00:23:20,891 --> 00:23:24,911
We're all here because none
of us can have nice things.

481
00:23:24,912 --> 00:23:27,427
I thought you guys were mannequins!

482
00:23:27,428 --> 00:23:29,226
What a backfire!

483
00:23:29,227 --> 00:23:30,700
Is the money real?

484
00:23:31,930 --> 00:23:32,730
No mater who wins?

485
00:23:34,220 --> 00:23:34,959
Dean, what are you doing?

486
00:23:36,880 --> 00:23:38,460
What are you thinking about?

487
00:23:38,461 --> 00:23:39,460
I don't know, I don't know.

488
00:23:39,461 --> 00:23:41,160
He's right, Jeffrey.

489
00:23:41,161 --> 00:23:44,880
A cleaner Greendale is
like a healthier cigarette.

490
00:23:44,881 --> 00:23:45,810
Yes, a carrot stick.

491
00:23:45,811 --> 00:23:47,420
Frankie can make us a carrot stick.

492
00:23:47,421 --> 00:23:48,610
We're tobacco.

493
00:23:48,611 --> 00:23:50,080
No, we are not tobacco.

494
00:23:50,081 --> 00:23:51,550
We are Robert Downey Jr,

495
00:23:51,551 --> 00:23:54,100
he was so high he was
crawling into people's windows.

496
00:23:54,101 --> 00:23:55,108
Now he's Iron Man.

497
00:23:55,109 --> 00:23:58,870
We self destruct like this because
we'd rather be heroes than villains than

498
00:23:58,871 --> 00:24:03,010
just kind of sucky people, that need
to work a lot at getting less sucky.

499
00:24:03,011 --> 00:24:04,570
She will forgive us.

500
00:24:04,571 --> 00:24:08,630
I know her, I like her, and if
she fires either of you, I'll quit.

501
00:24:08,631 --> 00:24:11,810
She's not the enemy, she can help us.

502
00:24:11,811 --> 00:24:12,438
We just have to cool it.

503
00:24:15,619 --> 00:24:18,022
It's true, what he said.

504
00:24:18,023 --> 00:24:22,603
If you guys lower your guns, I'm
not gonna throw you a party, but

505
00:24:22,604 --> 00:24:25,619
I'm not going to get anyone fired either.

506
00:24:33,795 --> 00:24:36,257
I'll see you Monday, idiots.

507
00:24:38,081 --> 00:24:42,096
So who wins?

508
00:24:42,097 --> 00:24:42,885
What do we
-. Okay,

509
00:24:42,886 --> 00:24:45,754
on the count of three we're
gonna shoot ourselves in the foot.

510
00:24:49,875 --> 00:24:57,421
One, two.

511
00:24:57,422 --> 00:24:58,212
Ow.

512
00:25:08,045 --> 00:25:13,082
I'll see you guys on Monday.

513
00:25:13,083 --> 00:25:18,201
And the Pope looks at the
giraffe and says I'm in the room.

514
00:25:18,202 --> 00:25:19,710
Sorry I can't remember the whole joke.

515
00:25:19,711 --> 00:25:22,910
That's okay it sounds very
funny based on the last line.

516
00:25:22,911 --> 00:25:24,790
Frankie's gonna be here
soon we should get ready.

517
00:25:24,791 --> 00:25:27,260
We're not seriously
still doing this are we?

518
00:25:27,261 --> 00:25:30,330
We promised everyday for a
week do we want her to quit?

519
00:25:33,260 --> 00:25:35,240
Good morning everyone.

520
00:25:35,241 --> 00:25:36,240
Wah.

521
00:25:38,250 --> 00:25:40,500
So, where did we leave off last time?

522
00:25:40,501 --> 00:25:41,220
Hm. Yes, sir.

523
00:25:43,050 --> 00:25:44,470
I like big trucks.

524
00:25:44,471 --> 00:25:46,000
I saw a fire truck today.

525
00:25:46,001 --> 00:25:46,690
Interesting point.

526
00:25:46,691 --> 00:25:47,830
Would anyone care to comment?

527
00:25:47,831 --> 00:25:48,630
Elroy?

528
00:25:48,631 --> 00:25:50,060
I made a stinky.

529
00:25:50,061 --> 00:25:51,130
Worth considering.

530
00:25:51,131 --> 00:25:51,940
Next item?

531
00:25:51,941 --> 00:25:53,390
How do you pronounce pasketti?

532
00:25:53,391 --> 00:25:54,040
Spaghetti.

533
00:25:54,041 --> 00:25:54,800
What else?

534
00:25:54,801 --> 00:25:55,760
Can we go to the zoo?

535
00:25:55,761 --> 00:25:57,690
Well, that raises a very important point.

536
00:25:57,691 --> 00:26:02,430
We can do anything we want if, and
this is very important, if we grow up.

537
00:26:02,431 --> 00:26:03,450
All in favor?

538
00:26:03,451 --> 00:26:03,950
Wah.

539
00:26:07,160 --> 00:26:09,270
Then she starts singing about
all the places she's been.

540
00:26:09,271 --> 00:26:11,350
Which, by the way, seems
to be a total of two.

541
00:26:11,351 --> 00:26:14,278
One of which is old DC.

542
00:26:14,279 --> 00:26:16,103
Old DC.

543
00:26:16,104 --> 00:26:21,352
Okay fine, Vicki, you're a
music major, not a history major.

544
00:26:21,353 --> 00:26:24,240
And the whole mother thing, I mean the
two big feathers in her cap are that

545
00:26:24,241 --> 00:26:28,370
she hasn't let anything change her, a
triumph she shared with most animals,

546
00:26:28,371 --> 00:26:32,290
and all dirt, and the
fact that her mother died,

547
00:26:32,291 --> 00:26:36,390
which is like one thing all mother's do.

548
00:26:36,391 --> 00:26:37,163
I mean, was she a good mother?

549
00:26:37,164 --> 00:26:38,255
Did she collect stamps?

550
00:26:38,256 --> 00:26:39,183
Did she race cars?

551
00:26:39,184 --> 00:26:40,262
We don't know!

552
00:26:40,263 --> 00:26:44,121
We don't know her name, I think if
you ask Vicki the color of her mother's

553
00:26:44,122 --> 00:26:45,565
eyes, she would say dead.

554
00:26:45,566 --> 00:26:49,740
Or, maybe she would say $7 a seat.

555
00:26:49,741 --> 00:26:51,240
It's bad man, I am telling you.

556
00:26:51,241 --> 00:26:53,980
Nobody is safe, nobody is safe.

557
00:26:55,190 --> 00:26:55,690
Blue.

558
00:27:04,314 --> 00:27:06,350
They were a very pale shade of blue.

559
00:27:09,085 --> 00:27:11,670
I'm sorry my show didn't
honor her memory properly.

560
00:27:11,671 --> 00:27:13,800
I'll try to make it up to you.

561
00:27:15,982 --> 00:27:21,492
Actually we both will a, a,
at the premier of our new show.

562
00:27:21,493 --> 00:27:27,522
Vicki and Garrett.

563
00:27:27,523 --> 00:27:29,130
Let's have a hand for
Vicki's mother everybody.

564
00:27:29,131 --> 00:27:29,751
Stand up Connie.

565
00:27:29,752 --> 00:27:32,735
Vicki's mother, Vicki's mother!

566
00:27:32,736 --> 00:27:33,235
Boo!

567
00:27:35,800 --> 00:27:37,420
We'd rather you boo.

568
00:27:37,421 --> 00:27:39,300
It means you felt something.

569
00:27:39,301 --> 00:27:39,960
That's right.

570
00:27:39,961 --> 00:27:40,810
You can boo.

571
00:27:40,811 --> 00:27:42,675
And, Andy Kaufman loved booing.

572
00:27:42,676 --> 00:27:45,790
Mm-hm.

573
00:27:45,791 --> 00:27:49,116
Then again, we did put a
fair share of work into this.

574
00:27:49,117 --> 00:27:50,451
Like, you don't have to be dicks.

575
00:28:25,545 --> 00:28:26,497
Did you get any of that?

576
00:28:30,677 --> 00:28:34,130
Yahoo!

9999
00:00:0,500 --> 00:00:2,00
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