1
00:00:15,880 --> 00:00:17,840
CAR HORN BLARES
You bloody idiot!

2
00:00:17,840 --> 00:00:20,840
Can you not see I've got a dog
with me?

3
00:00:20,840 --> 00:00:22,120
Right, are you all here?

4
00:00:22,120 --> 00:00:24,760
One, two, three...
It's nearly enough, come on.

5
00:00:24,760 --> 00:00:27,760
Come on, come on,
let's get down here.

6
00:00:27,760 --> 00:00:28,840
Stop pulling, you!

7
00:00:28,840 --> 00:00:30,440
DOG BARKS
Stop it!

8
00:00:30,440 --> 00:00:31,800
What's going on here?

9
00:00:31,800 --> 00:00:33,320
DOG BARKS

10
00:00:34,960 --> 00:00:37,080
Oh! Come on,
we're going back up this way.

11
00:00:37,080 --> 00:00:39,480
Get back on the pavement, come on!

12
00:00:39,480 --> 00:00:42,400
Of course he's late,
he doesn't know what time is.

13
00:00:42,400 --> 00:00:45,040
I'm going to have to go.
It's a shame.

14
00:00:45,040 --> 00:00:47,200
I think you've had a lucky escape,
to be honest.

15
00:00:47,200 --> 00:00:49,160
Why you want any more of HIM
in the book...

16
00:00:49,160 --> 00:00:52,720
Michael, I hate to say this, but
every time he pops up in the book,

17
00:00:52,720 --> 00:00:54,760
it's wonderful.
He's a character.

18
00:00:56,000 --> 00:00:57,320
Yes...

19
00:00:58,800 --> 00:01:01,720
Yes, he is a character.

20
00:01:01,720 --> 00:01:03,520
The book just springs to life.

21
00:01:03,520 --> 00:01:08,520
It's suddenly so full of fun and
energetic. It crackles with life.

22
00:01:08,520 --> 00:01:11,480
Do people really want to read
a book like that?

23
00:01:11,480 --> 00:01:15,360
Yes. Yes, they do.

24
00:01:15,360 --> 00:01:17,560
Mmm...

25
00:01:17,560 --> 00:01:21,320
Just fill him in a bit more. You
said he was an actor at one point.

26
00:01:21,320 --> 00:01:22,680
That's what he told me.

27
00:01:22,680 --> 00:01:25,920
I got him a job in a radio play -
the director will never work again.

28
00:01:25,920 --> 00:01:27,200
SHE CHUCKLES

29
00:01:27,200 --> 00:01:28,440
It's not funny, Sheila.

30
00:01:28,440 --> 00:01:31,640
He brings chaos and misery
wherever he goes.

31
00:01:31,640 --> 00:01:33,640
It's really beginning to get me down.

32
00:01:33,640 --> 00:01:36,760
I think I've had quite
enough of Count Arthur Strong.

33
00:01:36,760 --> 00:01:39,400
Hello, Michael. Hi.

34
00:01:40,520 --> 00:01:41,680
Eggy.

35
00:01:42,840 --> 00:01:45,760
I'm late. Love you! See you.

36
00:01:50,960 --> 00:01:54,040
You are waiting for a woman!

37
00:01:57,600 --> 00:01:59,960
I met a woman. Just there.

38
00:01:59,960 --> 00:02:03,600
I was right.
I have the gift, you see.

39
00:02:03,600 --> 00:02:05,120
The second sight.

40
00:02:05,120 --> 00:02:06,320
Yes.

41
00:02:08,040 --> 00:02:09,240
(Or just sight.)

42
00:02:11,080 --> 00:02:12,400
The shadow of death.

43
00:02:14,680 --> 00:02:16,520
What?

44
00:02:16,520 --> 00:02:19,240
The shadow of death is here.

45
00:02:20,640 --> 00:02:24,400
What do you mean?
You are in grave danger.

46
00:02:24,400 --> 00:02:26,040
Why am I in danger?

47
00:02:26,040 --> 00:02:27,160
BARKING

48
00:02:27,160 --> 00:02:29,400
Come on, you bloody thing! Get in!

49
00:02:29,400 --> 00:02:31,720
Where have you been?
What's going on?!

50
00:02:31,720 --> 00:02:33,960
I've got my dog walking today,
you knew that.

51
00:02:33,960 --> 00:02:36,920
And I tell you what, they walked my
bloody legs off, this lot have,

52
00:02:36,920 --> 00:02:38,840
and you have to pick up all
the mess.

53
00:02:38,840 --> 00:02:40,400
Arthur...

54
00:02:40,400 --> 00:02:43,160
You can't bring
a bag of poo into a cafe.

55
00:02:43,160 --> 00:02:47,400
Why not?
Oh, don't tell me, bloody Brussels!

56
00:02:47,400 --> 00:02:52,120
No, it's not Brussels, Arthur, it's
everyone. Everyone agrees on that.

57
00:02:52,120 --> 00:02:55,280
Katya, my Polish princess,
I'll chat to you later.

58
00:02:55,280 --> 00:02:56,520
Something big has come up.

59
00:02:56,520 --> 00:03:00,080
Here, I need a favour,
I need you to hold onto these.

60
00:03:00,080 --> 00:03:03,240
Where are you going? The owners
will be by to pick them up.

61
00:03:03,240 --> 00:03:07,280
I'll have your umbrella as well.
Arthur, don't do this!
Don't do this to me!

62
00:03:08,640 --> 00:03:13,040
I don't think Bulent will like
you bringing them dogs in.
I haven't brought them in!

63
00:03:13,040 --> 00:03:16,320
Unless they're guide dogs. HEY!
You can't bring those dogs in here!

64
00:03:16,320 --> 00:03:19,400
I didn't, I haven't.
I think they're guide dogs.

65
00:03:19,400 --> 00:03:22,960
You can't bring dogs into a cafe! I
think you can if they're guide dogs.

66
00:03:22,960 --> 00:03:26,800
They're not guide dogs!
Does this look like a guide dog?

67
00:03:28,360 --> 00:03:30,200
Take them out! Move, move, move!

68
00:03:30,200 --> 00:03:32,640
They're Arthur's.
I'm holding them for him.

69
00:03:32,640 --> 00:03:35,600
No dogs allowed in the cafe!
It's a cafe! What's this?

70
00:03:35,600 --> 00:03:38,120
That's not mine!
I have nothing to do with that!

71
00:03:40,000 --> 00:03:43,920
Thank you very much, that was great.
Really, really good.

72
00:03:43,920 --> 00:03:45,400
(Very impressive.)

73
00:03:51,040 --> 00:03:53,080
So it's a dog act? No.

74
00:03:59,640 --> 00:04:01,400
Well, it's not a dog act per se.

75
00:04:01,400 --> 00:04:05,200
I mean, there's two of us up here,
so it's a dog and a human act.

76
00:04:05,200 --> 00:04:09,200
Sorry, I pointed the wrong way
round then. Human, dog.

77
00:04:10,240 --> 00:04:11,280
Yes...

78
00:04:11,280 --> 00:04:14,080
But what I would make clear at this
moment is that the dog

79
00:04:14,080 --> 00:04:16,640
is very much the junior
partner in what we're doing,

80
00:04:16,640 --> 00:04:20,440
so I'd ask you to address any
future questions to me.

81
00:04:20,440 --> 00:04:21,600
Right...

82
00:04:21,600 --> 00:04:25,080
He's not the brains
of the operation. No offence.

83
00:04:25,080 --> 00:04:28,400
(I mean, dogs don't have
much of a brain, do they?)

84
00:04:28,400 --> 00:04:32,240
If they did, they'd be ruling
the world, riding round on horses

85
00:04:32,240 --> 00:04:35,600
with machine guns,
like the monkeys did that time.

86
00:04:36,600 --> 00:04:38,160
Glad all that's blown over.

87
00:04:41,360 --> 00:04:45,280
Oh, sorry. I just started thinking
about monkeys' bottoms then.

88
00:04:45,280 --> 00:04:47,520
You know, the red ones.

89
00:04:47,520 --> 00:04:49,440
Horrible!

90
00:04:49,440 --> 00:04:51,920
I won't be able to get that
out of my head now.

91
00:04:54,400 --> 00:04:55,920
Shall I start, then?

92
00:04:57,600 --> 00:05:00,600
Yes, I know I'm not the man.
I'm obviously a different man.

93
00:05:00,600 --> 00:05:01,960
He gave me the dogs.

94
00:05:02,960 --> 00:05:05,360
I don't know why you're all
taking it out on me.

95
00:05:06,760 --> 00:05:10,360
♪ Anything you can do
I can do better

96
00:05:10,360 --> 00:05:13,120
♪ I can do everything better
than you

97
00:05:14,200 --> 00:05:16,120
♪ Yes, I can

98
00:05:16,120 --> 00:05:18,240
♪ Yes, I can

99
00:05:18,240 --> 00:05:20,760
♪ Yes, I can. Yes, I ca-a-a-an... ♪

100
00:05:20,760 --> 00:05:24,560
I don't drink from a bowl.
That's not how I roll.

101
00:05:24,560 --> 00:05:26,600
HE BEATBOXES BADLY

102
00:05:33,000 --> 00:05:35,560
HE COUGHS VIOLENTLY

103
00:05:37,440 --> 00:05:41,160
LOUD COUGHING CONTINUES

104
00:05:41,160 --> 00:05:44,560
I don't know what to say. This is
the last dog. But that's not Bunty!

105
00:05:44,560 --> 00:05:47,280
I know, but it's the only dog I have!

106
00:05:47,280 --> 00:05:51,080
Where is the bloke that
I paid to walk him? I don't know!

107
00:05:51,080 --> 00:05:53,800
Well, that was a waste of bloody
time, wasn't it? Oh, thank God.

108
00:05:53,800 --> 00:05:55,720
Your problem is you've no
ambition.

109
00:05:55,720 --> 00:05:58,960
How hard can it be to hold me
by the hand

110
00:05:58,960 --> 00:06:01,560
and dance around like
a little gentleman?

111
00:06:01,560 --> 00:06:02,960
Eh?

112
00:06:02,960 --> 00:06:04,680
I don't know...

113
00:06:04,680 --> 00:06:07,040
Bunty! Give him here!

114
00:06:08,080 --> 00:06:09,560
I'm not using you again.

115
00:06:11,920 --> 00:06:14,600
Where were you? I've been threatened
with legal action.

116
00:06:14,600 --> 00:06:16,280
Who's that, then?

117
00:06:16,280 --> 00:06:18,000
What do you mean?

118
00:06:18,000 --> 00:06:22,760
That's not one of the dogs I had.
What? That's not one of my dogs.

119
00:06:22,760 --> 00:06:25,600
Well, you gave him to me. Did I?

120
00:06:25,600 --> 00:06:29,280
Must have picked an extra one up
at the park. Do you want to buy him?

121
00:06:29,280 --> 00:06:32,920
No! You have to get it back
to its owner.

122
00:06:32,920 --> 00:06:35,360
Check the collar, see
if there's a number or something.

123
00:06:35,360 --> 00:06:36,760
There might be a reward!

124
00:06:39,680 --> 00:06:41,880
DOG GROWLS

125
00:06:41,880 --> 00:06:45,920
I don't think he wants me to. Hang
on, I'll do a bit of dog whispering.

126
00:06:52,320 --> 00:06:54,840
(Shut up.)

127
00:06:54,840 --> 00:06:56,000
Now try.

128
00:06:57,840 --> 00:06:59,000
DOG BARKS

129
00:06:59,000 --> 00:07:00,280
Ow! Ow!

130
00:07:00,280 --> 00:07:02,360
It bit me!

131
00:07:02,360 --> 00:07:04,280
It bit me!

132
00:07:06,240 --> 00:07:10,000
Always looks uncomfortable to me.
It looks sore, doesn't it?

133
00:07:11,320 --> 00:07:16,560
What, my hand? No, monkeys' bottoms.
You know, the big red ones.

134
00:07:16,560 --> 00:07:21,040
The ones that look like a
parachute's started to come out.

135
00:07:21,040 --> 00:07:23,520
I wouldn't like to sit on that
if I had one.

136
00:07:25,400 --> 00:07:26,960
What are you talking about?

137
00:07:28,280 --> 00:07:30,680
Monkeys' bottoms!

138
00:07:30,680 --> 00:07:33,000
How is the book coming on?

139
00:07:33,000 --> 00:07:35,000
I don't want to talk about the book.

140
00:07:35,000 --> 00:07:39,160
I just want to concentrate
on getting to the hospital
with my mutilated hand.

141
00:07:39,160 --> 00:07:42,400
Oh, go on. I don't know
why you don't let me have a look.

142
00:07:42,400 --> 00:07:45,960
Why are you coming with me anyway?
Katya asked me to come.

143
00:07:50,720 --> 00:07:54,080
Why is she coming? I don't know.

144
00:07:59,080 --> 00:08:01,000
God, I hate all this.

145
00:08:01,000 --> 00:08:02,400
What? All this.

146
00:08:02,400 --> 00:08:06,320
I hate hospitals, I hate doctors.

147
00:08:06,320 --> 00:08:07,840
I was a doctor once.

148
00:08:09,240 --> 00:08:12,440
What? Oh, yes,
a very good one too.

149
00:08:12,440 --> 00:08:14,000
What sort of doctor?

150
00:08:14,000 --> 00:08:16,400
They never told me.

151
00:08:16,400 --> 00:08:18,200
What are you talking about now?

152
00:08:18,200 --> 00:08:22,200
I was in an episode of...
Emergency Ward...something.

153
00:08:23,320 --> 00:08:24,840
I was Dr Two.

154
00:08:24,840 --> 00:08:26,440
I was supposed to be Dr Three,

155
00:08:26,440 --> 00:08:29,840
but they bumped me up
when the other one got irritable...

156
00:08:29,840 --> 00:08:31,240
owl syndrome.

157
00:08:33,240 --> 00:08:35,640
I had a line in it and everything.

158
00:08:35,640 --> 00:08:37,320
Go on.

159
00:08:37,320 --> 00:08:38,880
Well...

160
00:08:38,880 --> 00:08:41,160
Let's hear it. Let's hear the line.

161
00:08:46,080 --> 00:08:47,920
HE CLEARS HIS THROAT DRAMATICALLY

162
00:08:50,520 --> 00:08:53,840
It's outside my area of expertise.

163
00:08:53,840 --> 00:08:55,760
I'm afraid!

164
00:09:06,480 --> 00:09:08,400
Arthur...

165
00:09:08,400 --> 00:09:11,640
how did you come to
believe that you could act?

166
00:09:11,640 --> 00:09:13,200
What?

167
00:09:13,200 --> 00:09:15,240
This is how you say that -

168
00:09:15,240 --> 00:09:17,880
"It's outside my area of expertise,
I'm afraid."

169
00:09:17,880 --> 00:09:19,480
No, no, no.

170
00:09:19,480 --> 00:09:23,480
It doesn't sound as if you're afraid
of anything if you say it like that!

171
00:09:23,480 --> 00:09:27,280
He's NOT afraid of anything!
Then what he's saying it for, then?

172
00:09:27,280 --> 00:09:29,280
It's a phrase!

173
00:09:29,280 --> 00:09:31,360
He's not saying he's afraid of things

174
00:09:31,360 --> 00:09:34,040
that are outside his area of
expertise.

175
00:09:34,040 --> 00:09:35,640
That's not a frightening thing.

176
00:09:35,640 --> 00:09:39,800
Oh, what would you know? I know more
than you do, I tell you that.

177
00:09:39,800 --> 00:09:43,640
You playing a doctor? I'll tell you
what that is, that is miscasting.

178
00:09:43,640 --> 00:09:47,320
You're more of a crazy grave-digger.

179
00:09:47,320 --> 00:09:49,760
Or a village idiot.

180
00:09:49,760 --> 00:09:52,400
What you're not is anyone
that people might mistake

181
00:09:52,400 --> 00:09:54,800
for a person in authority,
like a doctor.

182
00:09:54,800 --> 00:09:56,840
You can't act, Arthur!

183
00:09:56,840 --> 00:09:58,320
You can't act!

184
00:10:02,480 --> 00:10:05,720
That is the dog that bit you
talking.

185
00:10:06,880 --> 00:10:08,840
You don't know what you're saying.

186
00:10:10,040 --> 00:10:12,080
AAAARRRGGGGHHH!

187
00:10:12,080 --> 00:10:13,680
That's a safety hazard!

188
00:10:39,400 --> 00:10:40,600
What is that?

189
00:10:42,400 --> 00:10:44,320
Oh, of course.

190
00:10:46,360 --> 00:10:49,200
Come on, I know you're in there!

191
00:10:50,680 --> 00:10:51,720
HE GRUNTS

192
00:10:51,720 --> 00:10:53,760
I got you!
COINS FALL

193
00:10:53,760 --> 00:10:57,200
Where's that gone now?
Everybody up, come on.

194
00:10:57,200 --> 00:10:58,880
Oh, no, it's over there.

195
00:10:58,880 --> 00:11:00,440
AAAARRRGGGHHH!

196
00:11:07,480 --> 00:11:09,200
ARTHUR BREAKS WIND

197
00:11:16,960 --> 00:11:18,800
HE SPITS

198
00:11:19,840 --> 00:11:21,560
Wuuuurgh!

199
00:12:11,920 --> 00:12:14,600
What's going on with these, then?

200
00:12:18,400 --> 00:12:21,200
WHY ARE YOU HERE?!

201
00:12:21,200 --> 00:12:24,720
You can go home!
There's no reason for you to be here!

202
00:12:24,720 --> 00:12:27,760
Katya wants me here.
Why is she here?!

203
00:12:27,760 --> 00:12:30,160
I'm the one that needs to see
somebody!

204
00:12:33,240 --> 00:12:36,040
Oh, I've had enough of this.
I'm going to see what's what.

205
00:12:36,040 --> 00:12:38,280
No, don't, leave them alone! Ohhh...

206
00:12:39,920 --> 00:12:42,000
Do you know how long
she has been waiting?

207
00:12:42,000 --> 00:12:44,600
You'll be seen as soon as possible.

208
00:12:45,880 --> 00:12:47,840
Katya, why are you here?

209
00:12:47,840 --> 00:12:51,080
I would never pass up
a lift to the hospital.

210
00:12:51,080 --> 00:12:54,480
Is there actually anything wrong
with you? No. Right.

211
00:12:54,480 --> 00:12:58,080
I'm sure the doctor will find
something.

212
00:12:58,080 --> 00:13:00,960
I actually do have something wrong
with me. Yes.

213
00:13:00,960 --> 00:13:03,360
My hand. Oh, that too.

214
00:13:03,360 --> 00:13:05,000
Yes. Yes.

215
00:13:06,040 --> 00:13:07,200
What?

216
00:13:07,200 --> 00:13:10,120
Katya Zaritska? Bingo!
Here we are. Come on, Katya.

217
00:13:10,120 --> 00:13:14,280
I don't believe this.
She's only here recreationally!

218
00:13:14,280 --> 00:13:17,760
Michael Baker?
Yes, here, thank you.

219
00:13:24,680 --> 00:13:26,600
Right, then...

220
00:13:26,600 --> 00:13:29,880
I'll just sit in here by myself,
then, shall I?

221
00:13:29,880 --> 00:13:32,040
Don't worry about me.

222
00:13:33,640 --> 00:13:36,000
Yes, good idea.

223
00:13:37,040 --> 00:13:39,080
I'll have a look at a magazine.

224
00:13:44,960 --> 00:13:48,640
Cor, these bloody chairs.
They're a disgrace!

225
00:13:48,640 --> 00:13:52,160
You're right to bring your own.
I wish I'd thought of that.

226
00:13:53,160 --> 00:13:56,920
Right,
let's see what rubbish is in here.

227
00:13:56,920 --> 00:14:00,560
Jordan. Oh, dear,
look at the state of her.

228
00:14:00,560 --> 00:14:03,320
"Why I talk to my boobs."

229
00:14:04,360 --> 00:14:06,120
Dear, oh, dear.

230
00:14:06,120 --> 00:14:09,200
And to think she's got the nerve
to call herself somewhere

231
00:14:09,200 --> 00:14:10,360
out of the Bible!

232
00:14:11,480 --> 00:14:15,080
Now, where do you find out
why she does it?

233
00:14:15,080 --> 00:14:17,280
Hmm...

234
00:14:17,280 --> 00:14:20,760
The bite's really quite deep.
What sort of dog was it?

235
00:14:20,760 --> 00:14:23,520
Um, I don't know about the different
types of dogs.

236
00:14:23,520 --> 00:14:28,280
What happened to the dog? It ran
off. Why, should I have brought it?

237
00:14:28,280 --> 00:14:31,080
It's a good job you came in quickly.

238
00:14:31,080 --> 00:14:35,440
You need a tetanus shot and
we may need to take a blood sample.

239
00:14:35,440 --> 00:14:36,520
What? Why?

240
00:14:36,520 --> 00:14:40,600
Well, we don't know anything
about the dog that bit you, do we?

241
00:14:40,600 --> 00:14:43,080
Better to be safe than sorry.

242
00:14:43,080 --> 00:14:48,400
I'm not in any danger, am I?
No, it's...really just for
my own curiosity.

243
00:14:48,400 --> 00:14:50,040
Nothing to worry about.

244
00:14:50,040 --> 00:14:54,360
I'm following your finger. Yes.
I'm following your finger.

245
00:14:54,360 --> 00:14:58,200
Haven't you got any cushions?
No! It's scandalous!

246
00:14:58,200 --> 00:15:01,960
Suppose someone came in with
a bottom like one of those monkeys?

247
00:15:01,960 --> 00:15:05,560
I wish I could stop
thinking about that.

248
00:15:05,560 --> 00:15:08,560
What would you do then
if one of them came in?

249
00:15:08,560 --> 00:15:12,880
Chairs like this should be
against the Human League Convention.

250
00:15:14,400 --> 00:15:17,400
There's no friction on them!
I keep sliding off.

251
00:15:17,400 --> 00:15:22,480
My thighs are killing me. I'm having
to support all my own G-force.

252
00:15:22,480 --> 00:15:25,880
Look...you can
sit in the patients' waiting room.

253
00:15:25,880 --> 00:15:29,200
How about that? Thank you,
um...Ghita.

254
00:15:29,200 --> 00:15:32,520
Just behave yourself, all right?
I'll be as quiet as a mouse.

255
00:15:32,520 --> 00:15:34,080
No-one will know I'm there.

256
00:15:34,080 --> 00:15:35,160
AAAARRRGGHHH!

257
00:15:35,160 --> 00:15:37,360
Will you please
get away from me?!

258
00:15:40,480 --> 00:15:43,200
No, they're the same seats!

259
00:15:46,640 --> 00:15:48,000
What's in here?

260
00:15:56,160 --> 00:15:57,440
DOCTOR YAWNS

261
00:16:13,480 --> 00:16:15,480
Ohhhh!

262
00:16:18,360 --> 00:16:21,240
HE SIGHS CONTENTEDLY

263
00:16:24,600 --> 00:16:27,240
It's more commonly known as rabies.

264
00:16:27,240 --> 00:16:29,760
Rabies?! I have rabies?!

265
00:16:29,760 --> 00:16:32,280
No, no. That's not what I said.

266
00:16:32,280 --> 00:16:35,920
I just need to do a biopsy
to rule it out.

267
00:16:35,920 --> 00:16:39,080
Rabies! Rabies!

268
00:16:39,080 --> 00:16:41,840
I thought you got
rid of that in the '70s!

269
00:16:41,840 --> 00:16:43,520
Seriously... I don't believe it!

270
00:16:43,520 --> 00:16:47,000
Seriously, there is
nothing to worry about.

271
00:16:47,000 --> 00:16:50,800
In the highly unlikely event that it
is...what I think it is, well,

272
00:16:50,800 --> 00:16:53,560
if you catch it early,
it's rarely fatal.

273
00:16:53,560 --> 00:16:57,600
Who's this?
The police sent a sketch artist.

274
00:16:57,600 --> 00:17:00,120
We may need to put out
a description of the dog.

275
00:17:00,120 --> 00:17:04,160
He's going to kill me... He's not
going to stop until he's killed me!

276
00:17:06,800 --> 00:17:08,960
Lollipop?

277
00:17:10,240 --> 00:17:13,320
VIOLENT SCRABBLING

278
00:17:29,360 --> 00:17:30,880
INDISTINCT CONVERSATION

279
00:17:34,240 --> 00:17:37,000
Good afternoon, everyone. I see.

280
00:17:37,000 --> 00:17:39,080
Yes, we have a few new
faces here today,

281
00:17:39,080 --> 00:17:44,360
so I'd like our team to make the new
arrivals feel as welcome as possible.

282
00:17:44,360 --> 00:17:46,640
ALL EXCHANGE GREETINGS

283
00:17:46,640 --> 00:17:48,800
Hello, hello!

284
00:17:48,800 --> 00:17:51,320
Lovely to meet you. Hello.

285
00:17:51,320 --> 00:17:53,640
Hello. Right, good.

286
00:17:53,640 --> 00:17:54,760
Lots to do,

287
00:17:54,760 --> 00:17:57,800
so I suggest we take a two-heads-are-
better-than-one approach.

288
00:17:57,800 --> 00:18:02,160
If you pair up with someone and be as
helpful as we can to our...newbies.

289
00:18:05,560 --> 00:18:07,480
We seemed to have a spare. Dr...?

290
00:18:08,560 --> 00:18:11,000
Doctor Two. Hello.

291
00:18:11,000 --> 00:18:13,640
Doctor Two?

292
00:18:13,640 --> 00:18:17,040
Unusual name. Yes, it is, isn't it?
Are you a stray, then?

293
00:18:17,040 --> 00:18:19,000
You could say that.

294
00:18:22,480 --> 00:18:23,520
HE SIGHS

295
00:18:27,920 --> 00:18:31,440
Oh, God! God! Oh, Katya...

296
00:18:33,760 --> 00:18:35,120
What are you doing here?

297
00:18:35,120 --> 00:18:39,240
The doctor found something wrong
with me, so it wasn't a wasted trip.

298
00:18:39,240 --> 00:18:40,840
How are you?

299
00:18:40,840 --> 00:18:43,000
I'm not great, to be honest.

300
00:18:43,000 --> 00:18:45,440
It's two o'clock.
I've been here for hours.

301
00:18:46,520 --> 00:18:50,720
Katya, you remember when you talked
about the shadow of death? Oh, yes.

302
00:18:50,720 --> 00:18:53,320
And then Arthur came into the cafe.

303
00:18:54,400 --> 00:18:55,800
Is it Arthur?

304
00:18:56,800 --> 00:18:59,160
Is Arthur the shadow of death?

305
00:18:59,160 --> 00:19:03,160
No, no, no!
I got it completely arse-ways.

306
00:19:04,320 --> 00:19:07,360
Arthur is not the shadow of death,
quite the opposite.

307
00:19:08,400 --> 00:19:12,160
You know, every day
I come to Bulent's cafe.

308
00:19:12,160 --> 00:19:17,000
There are many cafes closer to where
I live, but I choose Bulent's.

309
00:19:17,000 --> 00:19:22,080
For the soup? The soup is good,
but it is not for the soup.

310
00:19:22,080 --> 00:19:27,680
I come because every time Arthur
calls me his Polish princess,

311
00:19:27,680 --> 00:19:32,200
I feel like I'm 20 years old again.

312
00:19:32,200 --> 00:19:37,160
I know he's frustrating,
I know he's impossible.

313
00:19:37,160 --> 00:19:42,000
But I feel... I wish everyone
could know him a bit.

314
00:19:42,000 --> 00:19:45,800
Life seems too long
when there is no Arthur.

315
00:19:48,760 --> 00:19:51,000
Katya, I think he's going
to kill me.

316
00:19:53,000 --> 00:19:56,840
I have rabies, Katya. Rabies.

317
00:19:58,920 --> 00:20:02,200
The shadow of death,
you said. You said!

318
00:20:02,200 --> 00:20:04,800
Believe me,
I couldn't have been more wrong.

319
00:20:04,800 --> 00:20:06,960
You have nothing to fear.

320
00:20:10,400 --> 00:20:12,280
I was eating that!

321
00:20:12,280 --> 00:20:13,760
But you can have it.

322
00:20:17,600 --> 00:20:21,160
DRAMATIC, SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC

323
00:21:00,600 --> 00:21:02,720
How about...that?

324
00:21:04,720 --> 00:21:07,640
None of these are remotely
like the dog that bit me.

325
00:21:07,640 --> 00:21:11,200
Oh, well,
I've never been very good at dogs.

326
00:21:14,160 --> 00:21:18,080
If it is rabies, we're talking
about a potential national emergency.

327
00:21:18,080 --> 00:21:21,280
I know that, that's why I need to do
the biopsy. I know it's very
unlikely...

328
00:21:21,280 --> 00:21:24,880
With respect, I think you may have
jumped the gun a little with your
diagnosis.

329
00:21:24,880 --> 00:21:26,680
ARTHUR: Hmmm...

330
00:21:26,680 --> 00:21:33,120
You disagree?
Well... Yes... And no...

331
00:21:33,120 --> 00:21:36,160
So do you agree
we need to rule it out? Well...

332
00:21:36,160 --> 00:21:38,720
You could put it that way...

333
00:21:38,720 --> 00:21:41,080
You think we should continue
with the biopsy?

334
00:21:41,080 --> 00:21:42,880
Oh... Well...

335
00:21:42,880 --> 00:21:46,080
HE MUMBLES INDISTINCTLY

336
00:21:48,240 --> 00:21:51,440
All right, all right.
Better safe than sorry, I suppose.

337
00:21:51,440 --> 00:21:53,440
Carry on, Dr Freeman.
Thanks, everyone.

338
00:21:53,440 --> 00:21:56,400
Hmmm... Yes... Oh...

339
00:21:56,400 --> 00:21:59,400
HE CONTINUES MUMBLING

340
00:22:06,080 --> 00:22:08,760
So, Michael,
we have an observer in today.

341
00:22:08,760 --> 00:22:12,240
You have no objections,
do you? No, no...

342
00:22:15,720 --> 00:22:18,840
So, this is Paul,
he's our anaesthesiologist.

343
00:22:18,840 --> 00:22:20,400
He's going to get started

344
00:22:20,400 --> 00:22:22,640
and then I'll pop
back before you go under, OK?

345
00:22:22,640 --> 00:22:24,920
Right...
And he's qualified, is he?

346
00:22:24,920 --> 00:22:26,360
Hope so!

347
00:22:28,960 --> 00:22:32,160
OK, so you should feel the effects
of that in a few seconds.

348
00:22:32,160 --> 00:22:33,760
All right, Michael?

349
00:22:36,120 --> 00:22:37,280
That's not so bad...

350
00:22:37,280 --> 00:22:38,760
HE CHUCKLES WEAKLY

351
00:22:38,760 --> 00:22:41,720
It's a bit like having
a bubble bath.

352
00:22:43,080 --> 00:22:44,400
It's rather nice...

353
00:22:44,400 --> 00:22:46,160
Thanks for your input earlier.

354
00:22:46,160 --> 00:22:49,440
This is a needle biopsy,
so we will be administering

355
00:22:49,440 --> 00:22:51,800
a general anaesthetic for
the patient's comfort. Yes.

356
00:22:51,800 --> 00:22:55,520
How is the patient's blood pressure?
Pretty good, pretty good.

357
00:22:55,520 --> 00:22:57,640
Paul is one of our best.

358
00:23:03,200 --> 00:23:07,720
OK, Michael, this is Dr Perle
and Dr Two. Hello, Michael.

359
00:23:10,560 --> 00:23:13,880
INDISTINCT CRIES OF PROTEST

360
00:23:16,480 --> 00:23:20,000
Dr Two will be observing,
if that's all right by you.

361
00:23:20,000 --> 00:23:22,680
GARBLED: Eee no a o'or...!

362
00:23:22,680 --> 00:23:24,800
Ee no a o'or!

363
00:23:24,800 --> 00:23:27,320
Ee...!

364
00:23:28,560 --> 00:23:30,400
He no a octor!

365
00:23:30,400 --> 00:23:32,600
He's...!

366
00:23:33,880 --> 00:23:35,960
He no a octor!

367
00:23:35,960 --> 00:23:39,840
HE RAVES INCOHERENTLY

368
00:23:41,160 --> 00:23:43,800
Ee no a o'or.

369
00:23:43,800 --> 00:23:45,680
Michael, what are you doing?

370
00:23:45,680 --> 00:23:47,160
HE RAVES

371
00:23:48,440 --> 00:23:50,520
Just lie down, Michael.

372
00:23:52,960 --> 00:23:54,240
Just lie down, please!

373
00:23:54,240 --> 00:23:56,400
HE RAVES INCOHERENTLY

374
00:24:01,440 --> 00:24:05,200
Michael... Michael, please...
Michael... Ee no a o'or!

375
00:24:05,200 --> 00:24:08,160
He's not wearing any underpants!

376
00:24:08,160 --> 00:24:09,280
Help! Help!

377
00:24:10,480 --> 00:24:13,920
HE RAVES

378
00:24:13,920 --> 00:24:19,040
HIS VOICE FADES

379
00:24:19,040 --> 00:24:22,160
I've never seen anything like that
in my life. What was he saying?

380
00:24:22,160 --> 00:24:23,600
I don't know, nonsense phrases.

381
00:24:23,600 --> 00:24:25,400
I'm not sure what it
actually means.

382
00:24:25,400 --> 00:24:26,960
I've never seen anything like it!

383
00:24:26,960 --> 00:24:28,920
Have you, Doctor?

384
00:24:28,920 --> 00:24:32,560
It's outside my area of expertise.

385
00:24:32,560 --> 00:24:34,320
I'm afraid!

386
00:24:35,800 --> 00:24:39,560
There's no need to be afraid.
Look, he's just going under now.
You're safe.

387
00:24:41,920 --> 00:24:44,680
And then they put the needle
right into the hole!

388
00:24:44,680 --> 00:24:47,120
I couldn't believe it!
Stop talking about that.

389
00:24:47,120 --> 00:24:48,840
I don't want to think about it.
I know.

390
00:24:48,840 --> 00:24:53,120
It's like me and those monkeys'
bottoms. Or YOUR bottom!

391
00:24:53,120 --> 00:24:54,960
That's up there too now.

392
00:24:56,240 --> 00:24:59,920
Arthur, what are we doing here? We
can go. I don't have rabies, Arthur.

393
00:24:59,920 --> 00:25:02,120
No, I know, but I'm going
to wait for Katya.

394
00:25:02,120 --> 00:25:04,760
Oh, yes, Katya. Well...

395
00:25:06,440 --> 00:25:09,920
Do you mind if I leave? Of course
not, all you've been through.

396
00:25:15,080 --> 00:25:18,880
They don't look very... There's
a knack to it. I'll be all right.

397
00:25:18,880 --> 00:25:24,840
Can't let Katya go home alone.
All right, well... Bye...

398
00:25:26,200 --> 00:25:29,600
I'm sorry, did you say Katya?
Has she left already?

399
00:25:29,600 --> 00:25:32,040
Katya Zaritska?
Yes, that's her.

400
00:25:33,120 --> 00:25:35,960
I'm so sorry... I'm afraid...

401
00:25:37,400 --> 00:25:38,720
I'm afraid she's gone.

402
00:25:38,720 --> 00:25:41,760
No, no,
she wouldn't have left without me.

403
00:25:41,760 --> 00:25:43,320
No, I mean she passed.

404
00:25:48,920 --> 00:25:51,720
I'm sorry, Ghita,
could you repeat that, love?

405
00:25:52,800 --> 00:25:54,720
She died. I'm so sorry.

406
00:25:56,520 --> 00:25:58,760
No, no, I'm not having that.

407
00:25:58,760 --> 00:26:01,640
She only came in to see if anything
was wrong with her.

408
00:26:01,640 --> 00:26:03,720
There was.

409
00:26:03,720 --> 00:26:06,840
Apparently, she'd been
ill for quite some time.

410
00:26:06,840 --> 00:26:08,480
Are you family?

411
00:26:08,480 --> 00:26:12,880
Um... Er, no.
We're just...

412
00:26:14,600 --> 00:26:15,720
We're just friends.

413
00:26:17,400 --> 00:26:19,280
I'm so sorry.

414
00:26:26,000 --> 00:26:29,040
Are you all right, Arthur?
No, no, I'm not having that.

415
00:26:29,040 --> 00:26:32,720
They've made a mistake.
She was in the prime of life!

416
00:26:32,720 --> 00:26:36,120
This is a terrible hospital!
Look how far I got!

417
00:26:36,120 --> 00:26:39,520
I'd have made director-general
if I'd been in earlier.

418
00:26:39,520 --> 00:26:44,360
No, no... I'm not having it.
What's happened here is...

419
00:26:44,360 --> 00:26:45,760
Someone's...

420
00:26:46,920 --> 00:26:48,160
HE MUMBLES

421
00:26:54,040 --> 00:26:56,360
I was supposed to take her home!

422
00:26:58,440 --> 00:26:59,840
What am I going to do now?

423
00:27:32,360 --> 00:27:34,120
WRAPPERS RUSTLE

424
00:27:43,000 --> 00:27:44,520
They're good, these.

425
00:27:46,800 --> 00:27:48,600
They're not bad, are they?

426
00:28:05,560 --> 00:28:08,600
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