1
00:00:45,780 --> 00:00:47,532
I'm back!

2
00:00:47,580 --> 00:00:50,299
I'm telling you
I don't have four pounds.

3
00:00:50,340 --> 00:00:52,217
I had it earlier, but I forgot

4
00:00:52,260 --> 00:00:56,219
I'm wearing my suit with not
quite enough money in the pockets.

5
00:00:56,260 --> 00:00:57,693
That is none of my business!

6
00:00:57,740 --> 00:01:01,176
Just stand me the pound until I am
wearing the correct clothes, Bulent!

7
00:01:01,220 --> 00:01:02,414
No!

8
00:01:02,460 --> 00:01:04,098
Oh, tell him, would you?

9
00:01:04,140 --> 00:01:05,812
Tell him he's being unreasonable.

10
00:01:05,860 --> 00:01:08,658
Um, but I don't really...
No, I know - give him a pound.

11
00:01:12,140 --> 00:01:13,255
There!

12
00:01:13,300 --> 00:01:15,177
There's your precious money!

13
00:01:15,220 --> 00:01:16,778
"My precious money"?

14
00:01:16,820 --> 00:01:19,129
I run a cafe! This is a cafe!

15
00:01:19,180 --> 00:01:20,454
Give me another pound.

16
00:01:22,020 --> 00:01:23,578
And this is the tip

17
00:01:23,620 --> 00:01:25,770
that you are now not about to get.

18
00:01:32,020 --> 00:01:33,499
What?

19
00:01:33,540 --> 00:01:34,734
I'm back!

20
00:01:34,780 --> 00:01:36,452
Ah! I don't care.

21
00:01:37,980 --> 00:01:40,175
Are you going to order something?

22
00:01:40,220 --> 00:01:41,573
I haven't got any money now.

23
00:01:44,300 --> 00:01:45,415
Hi!

24
00:01:47,420 --> 00:01:48,648
I am back.

25
00:01:48,700 --> 00:01:49,974
So you keep saying.

26
00:01:50,020 --> 00:01:51,817
Did you get that paint?

27
00:01:51,860 --> 00:01:53,213
What paint?

28
00:01:53,260 --> 00:01:55,171
Was it not you I asked
to get the paint?

29
00:01:55,220 --> 00:01:57,575
I've been gone for six months,
Arthur.

30
00:01:57,620 --> 00:01:58,814
Where've you been?

31
00:01:58,860 --> 00:02:00,213
Home! York!

32
00:02:00,260 --> 00:02:01,818
Did they not have it locally?

33
00:02:04,260 --> 00:02:05,454
Sinem!

34
00:02:08,580 --> 00:02:11,458
Oh, you... Oh...

35
00:02:11,500 --> 00:02:14,139
Oh, hello!

36
00:02:14,180 --> 00:02:15,454
Hi.

37
00:02:15,500 --> 00:02:17,218
Sorry, Simon...

38
00:02:17,260 --> 00:02:18,579
This is Michael.

39
00:02:18,620 --> 00:02:19,894
Simon?

40
00:02:19,940 --> 00:02:22,693
Oh and you're...
It's like a tongue twister.

41
00:02:22,740 --> 00:02:24,571
Simon and Sinem, heh-heh!

42
00:02:24,620 --> 00:02:26,815
Simon and Sinem, Simon and Si...

43
00:02:26,860 --> 00:02:28,851
It's almost impossible to say!

44
00:02:28,900 --> 00:02:30,572
"Simon and Sinem".

45
00:02:30,620 --> 00:02:32,372
I don't know. I can say it.

46
00:02:32,420 --> 00:02:35,810
Yes, you can, it's like an incredibly
straightforward tongue twister.

47
00:02:36,900 --> 00:02:38,538
Well, bye.

48
00:02:38,580 --> 00:02:39,808
Goodbye! Love you!

49
00:02:42,300 --> 00:02:43,415
Sorry?

50
00:02:45,420 --> 00:02:46,614
What?

51
00:02:46,660 --> 00:02:48,093
What did you say? When?

52
00:02:48,140 --> 00:02:49,209
Just then.

53
00:02:49,260 --> 00:02:50,659
Don't think I said anything.

54
00:02:50,700 --> 00:02:52,099
He said he loves you...

55
00:02:53,180 --> 00:02:54,659
...for some reason.

56
00:02:56,100 --> 00:02:57,453
Well...

57
00:02:57,500 --> 00:02:59,172
I like you too, Michael.

58
00:03:00,780 --> 00:03:03,169
I guess it's nice you two get on...

59
00:03:04,860 --> 00:03:07,420
Hasn't anybody noticed that
I've not been here?

60
00:03:07,460 --> 00:03:11,248
Come to mention it, it has been a
bit quiet on your side of the table.

61
00:03:11,300 --> 00:03:12,369
Where've you been?

62
00:03:12,420 --> 00:03:15,139
York - I told you. I've been writing.

63
00:03:15,180 --> 00:03:16,408
Well, trying to.

64
00:03:16,460 --> 00:03:18,735
To be honest, it's not going great.

65
00:03:18,780 --> 00:03:21,214
Thought I'd come back here and
see if anyone had missed me.

66
00:03:21,260 --> 00:03:22,978
Michael! You're back!

67
00:03:23,020 --> 00:03:24,612
Thank you, Eggy!

68
00:03:24,660 --> 00:03:26,093
Did you get that paint?

69
00:03:31,220 --> 00:03:32,448
What have you got?

70
00:03:32,500 --> 00:03:34,968
Sandpaper, sandwiches.

71
00:03:35,020 --> 00:03:36,089
Flask.

72
00:03:36,140 --> 00:03:37,732
Flask... Will you bring that?

73
00:03:37,780 --> 00:03:38,974
I'll bring the flask.

74
00:03:41,860 --> 00:03:44,613
Ooh - screwdriver,
to get the lid off.

75
00:03:44,660 --> 00:03:46,696
Will you bring that?
I'll bring that.

76
00:03:46,740 --> 00:03:48,173
What are you doing with the paint?

77
00:03:48,220 --> 00:03:50,370
We've got ourselves a little job on.

78
00:03:50,420 --> 00:03:52,456
Really? You've gone into decorating?

79
00:03:52,500 --> 00:03:54,411
We have recently won the contract

80
00:03:54,460 --> 00:03:56,530
to paint a garage door yellow.

81
00:03:59,940 --> 00:04:01,373
That's black.

82
00:04:01,420 --> 00:04:02,569
Is it?

83
00:04:03,980 --> 00:04:05,777
Oh, black then, it doesn't matter.

84
00:04:07,420 --> 00:04:10,696
A very dear friend of mine
passed away.

85
00:04:10,740 --> 00:04:13,095
He left me some overalls
and a step ladder.

86
00:04:16,500 --> 00:04:18,172
You must have been very close.

87
00:04:19,500 --> 00:04:23,175
Hey, I tell you something, Eggy, you
do a good job on this garage door

88
00:04:23,220 --> 00:04:24,938
and the money will be rolling in.

89
00:04:24,980 --> 00:04:26,857
What do you mean,
if I do a good job?

90
00:04:26,900 --> 00:04:30,495
Well, my strength lies more on the
administrative side of things -

91
00:04:30,540 --> 00:04:33,008
wining and dining clients,
et cetera.

92
00:04:33,060 --> 00:04:34,732
That's what I bring to the table.

93
00:04:34,780 --> 00:04:36,259
Oh, OK.

94
00:04:36,300 --> 00:04:39,019
Anyway, come on, let's go.

95
00:04:39,060 --> 00:04:41,654
This door won't paint itself,
will it?

96
00:04:41,700 --> 00:04:44,453
♪ Heigh-ho, heigh-ho,
it's off to work... ♪

97
00:04:44,500 --> 00:04:45,728
He's gone.

98
00:04:50,980 --> 00:04:52,698
Hey, I was meaning to tell you.

99
00:04:52,740 --> 00:04:55,652
Remember what you were saying about
you're not able to write anymore?

100
00:04:55,700 --> 00:04:59,249
Oh, no, I wouldn't go that far.
It's just a little block.

101
00:04:59,300 --> 00:05:00,494
It's actually very common.

102
00:05:00,540 --> 00:05:03,850
You see, writers need certain
things in order to create -

103
00:05:03,900 --> 00:05:06,050
solitude, a sense of calm.

104
00:05:06,100 --> 00:05:07,374
One can't simply...

105
00:05:07,420 --> 00:05:08,694
I've written a book.

106
00:05:10,100 --> 00:05:11,852
What?

107
00:05:11,900 --> 00:05:14,334
You've written a book?

108
00:05:14,380 --> 00:05:15,779
When? How?

109
00:05:15,820 --> 00:05:17,492
Don't know. Just did.

110
00:05:19,340 --> 00:05:21,137
Right, well, er...

111
00:05:21,180 --> 00:05:22,613
Actually, well done, Arthur.

112
00:05:22,660 --> 00:05:25,015
It's not easy to
write a book, so...

113
00:05:25,060 --> 00:05:26,095
kudos.

114
00:05:26,140 --> 00:05:27,334
Thank you.

115
00:05:27,380 --> 00:05:29,450
In fact, if you'd like me
to have a look at it,

116
00:05:29,500 --> 00:05:31,377
I'd be more than happy to...

117
00:05:31,420 --> 00:05:33,411
Might as well make myself useful.

118
00:05:33,460 --> 00:05:35,451
What, er... What kind of book is it?

119
00:05:35,500 --> 00:05:36,979
A racist one.

120
00:05:41,500 --> 00:05:43,889
Oh, yes.

121
00:05:43,940 --> 00:05:45,089
A racist one?

122
00:05:45,140 --> 00:05:48,177
It'll ruffle a few feathers,
believe you me.

123
00:05:48,220 --> 00:05:50,211
You've written a racist book?

124
00:05:50,260 --> 00:05:52,091
It's very racist.

125
00:05:52,140 --> 00:05:53,892
I can't wait for you to read it.

126
00:05:53,940 --> 00:05:55,578
In what way is it racist?

127
00:05:55,620 --> 00:05:56,973
You know...

128
00:05:57,020 --> 00:05:58,339
He-llo...

129
00:06:00,740 --> 00:06:03,095
Woo-hoo-hoo-hoo...

130
00:06:03,140 --> 00:06:04,778
Ooh, Madame!

131
00:06:06,380 --> 00:06:08,336
Not... not racist, RACY.

132
00:06:09,380 --> 00:06:10,608
A racy book.

133
00:06:10,660 --> 00:06:12,139
Oh! You've written a racy...

134
00:06:12,180 --> 00:06:14,489
You've written a racy book?!

135
00:06:14,540 --> 00:06:17,054
Yeah, like that, erm, 50...

136
00:06:17,100 --> 00:06:18,453
Crates Of Plates.

137
00:06:20,100 --> 00:06:21,419
Augh...

138
00:06:21,460 --> 00:06:23,132
Now I want it to be racist.

139
00:06:23,180 --> 00:06:25,330
But... there's a twist.

140
00:06:25,380 --> 00:06:27,291
Oh, God, is there?

141
00:06:27,340 --> 00:06:29,171
It's for the over-70s.

142
00:06:31,460 --> 00:06:34,850
There's nothing for them
on the racy book front.

143
00:06:34,900 --> 00:06:36,731
When can you read it?

144
00:06:36,780 --> 00:06:39,578
Do you know, I don't think
I'm going to have time to read it.

145
00:06:39,620 --> 00:06:40,735
You just said you would!

146
00:06:40,780 --> 00:06:43,817
I've just remembered,
my agent insists on reading

147
00:06:43,860 --> 00:06:45,930
everything I'm sent,
for legal reasons.

148
00:06:45,980 --> 00:06:47,698
Even better, she can read it.

149
00:06:47,740 --> 00:06:49,298
Um...

150
00:06:49,340 --> 00:06:50,614
It's going to be a big one.

151
00:06:50,660 --> 00:06:54,209
I'll corner the over-70s
racy book market with this.

152
00:06:54,260 --> 00:06:56,728
Is there a market there?
Racy isn't...

153
00:06:56,780 --> 00:06:59,214
I think at that age, most people
would be happy with a hug.

154
00:06:59,260 --> 00:07:02,297
This calls for a celebration.
Two teas please, Bulent!

155
00:07:02,340 --> 00:07:03,659
We're celebrating!

156
00:07:03,700 --> 00:07:06,168
I've written a racist book!

157
00:07:11,500 --> 00:07:14,537
"Beneath the Paisley
Patterned Eiderdown".

158
00:07:14,580 --> 00:07:17,970
Oh, come on. Please, Sheila, just
read enough to get a sense of it

159
00:07:18,020 --> 00:07:19,578
and then write a polite note.

160
00:07:19,620 --> 00:07:21,258
That's all he's hoping for.

161
00:07:21,300 --> 00:07:24,098
Oh, the things I do for my clients.

162
00:07:24,140 --> 00:07:25,368
Thank you.

163
00:07:25,420 --> 00:07:28,651
Well, at least you're
delivering a book.

164
00:07:31,100 --> 00:07:34,490
It's not funny, Michael.
They'll want that advance back.

165
00:07:34,540 --> 00:07:36,929
Can you get me a new deadline?
Please, Sheila.

166
00:07:36,980 --> 00:07:38,891
I... I'll make this one, I promise.

167
00:07:38,940 --> 00:07:40,214
Well...

168
00:07:40,260 --> 00:07:42,728
Oh, I can get you another six weeks.
Thank you.

169
00:07:42,780 --> 00:07:46,693
But don't embarrass me again,
Michael. I'm warning you.

170
00:07:46,740 --> 00:07:49,049
She was warning me, Arthur.

171
00:07:49,100 --> 00:07:50,772
I don't like being warned.

172
00:07:50,820 --> 00:07:52,731
That'll be the drink talking.

173
00:07:52,780 --> 00:07:56,090
It's always the drink talking with
Sheila. Doesn't make her less scary.

174
00:07:56,140 --> 00:07:57,732
Yes, but she's got the book?

175
00:07:57,780 --> 00:07:59,293
Er, yes. She took it home with her.

176
00:07:59,340 --> 00:08:02,173
She's away for the weekend, but
she'll read it first thing Monday.

177
00:08:02,220 --> 00:08:05,178
Now, please, Arthur, I have got
six weeks to write something,

178
00:08:05,220 --> 00:08:08,417
or Sheila is going to take
a contract out on me.

179
00:08:08,460 --> 00:08:09,813
There you go, Arthur.

180
00:08:09,860 --> 00:08:10,975
What's this?

181
00:08:11,020 --> 00:08:12,499
Carry On Cruising?

182
00:08:12,540 --> 00:08:14,656
Yeah, that was the one
you wanted, wasn't it?

183
00:08:14,700 --> 00:08:16,372
Leslie Philips on the cruise ship.

184
00:08:16,420 --> 00:08:19,059
I wanted Captain Phillips!

185
00:08:19,100 --> 00:08:22,092
You know, the one where
Forrest Gump's a pirate!

186
00:08:22,140 --> 00:08:24,859
Oh, Eggy, I was looking forward
to that, I was.

187
00:08:24,900 --> 00:08:26,970
Why don't you just buy it
if you want it so much?

188
00:08:27,020 --> 00:08:30,217
I don't buy films until
they come down to 1 .99.

189
00:08:30,260 --> 00:08:32,137
It's taking ages for this one.

190
00:08:32,180 --> 00:08:34,330
I'll have it Eggy,
but I'm not happy.

191
00:08:37,260 --> 00:08:39,012
What's that?

192
00:08:39,060 --> 00:08:40,573
Written another?

193
00:08:40,620 --> 00:08:43,532
I've taken the precaution
of making a copy of my book,

194
00:08:43,580 --> 00:08:46,697
in case Sheila tries to publish it
under her own name.

195
00:08:46,740 --> 00:08:48,810
She's not going to do that, Arthur.

196
00:08:48,860 --> 00:08:49,895
She's not insane.

197
00:08:49,940 --> 00:08:51,339
Ooh, this is exciting.

198
00:08:51,380 --> 00:08:52,972
To think, in a few months' time,

199
00:08:53,020 --> 00:08:55,090
people might actually
be reading about

200
00:08:55,140 --> 00:08:57,973
the steamy union
of Michael and Sheila.

201
00:08:58,020 --> 00:08:59,248
You never know.

202
00:09:03,220 --> 00:09:04,289
Sorry, what did you say?

203
00:09:04,340 --> 00:09:05,693
If all goes well, of course.

204
00:09:05,740 --> 00:09:08,732
No, no - back then.
Whose steamy union?

205
00:09:08,780 --> 00:09:10,054
Michael and Sheila.

206
00:09:11,220 --> 00:09:14,018
Are you getting mixed up?
That's my name -

207
00:09:14,060 --> 00:09:15,459
and my agent's name.

208
00:09:15,500 --> 00:09:17,252
And the name of my characters.

209
00:09:19,300 --> 00:09:21,655
You've named the characters...

210
00:09:21,700 --> 00:09:24,772
in your racy book for
the over-70s...

211
00:09:24,820 --> 00:09:26,333
after Sheila and me?

212
00:09:28,700 --> 00:09:30,930
"As the stairlift ascended...

213
00:09:34,500 --> 00:09:36,934
".. Michael's hand similarly ascended

214
00:09:36,980 --> 00:09:39,369
"to the top of Sheila's
support anklet."

215
00:09:41,420 --> 00:09:42,455
What?

216
00:09:42,500 --> 00:09:44,650
You've put me in your dirty book!

217
00:09:44,700 --> 00:09:47,260
Racy book, Michael - not "dirty".

218
00:09:47,300 --> 00:09:49,018
I don't do filth.

219
00:09:49,060 --> 00:09:50,379
Anyway, it's not you.

220
00:09:50,420 --> 00:09:52,376
It's an elderly...

221
00:09:52,420 --> 00:09:54,092
version of you.

222
00:09:54,140 --> 00:09:56,017
But why Sheila?
You don't even know her.

223
00:09:56,060 --> 00:09:57,334
Well, I feel like I know her.

224
00:09:57,380 --> 00:09:59,177
All the gossip you've
told me about her.

225
00:09:59,220 --> 00:10:01,017
Like the time she had
the affair with...

226
00:10:01,060 --> 00:10:02,334
Martin Amis!

227
00:10:03,780 --> 00:10:04,974
That's in here?!

228
00:10:05,020 --> 00:10:07,853
You've written about her
affair with Martin Amis!

229
00:10:07,900 --> 00:10:09,015
Was that not OK?

230
00:10:09,060 --> 00:10:10,288
No!

231
00:10:10,340 --> 00:10:12,217
Not OK! Not OK at all!

232
00:10:12,260 --> 00:10:13,659
She told me that in confidence!

233
00:10:13,700 --> 00:10:16,453
Oh, come on. She'll never
trace it back to you.

234
00:10:18,700 --> 00:10:22,375
You've named your characters
Michael and Sheila!

235
00:10:22,420 --> 00:10:25,617
Oh, God, she can't read this.
She can't read this!

236
00:10:25,660 --> 00:10:28,732
"Sheila was halfway through
her fifth bottle of gin".

237
00:10:28,780 --> 00:10:31,658
She likes a glass of wine
at lunch, Arthur.

238
00:10:31,700 --> 00:10:33,850
You said she was more or less
an alcoholic.

239
00:10:34,900 --> 00:10:36,458
She's going to drop me.

240
00:10:36,500 --> 00:10:37,728
She's going to drop me!

241
00:10:37,780 --> 00:10:40,374
She won't drop you.
You make her money, you do.

242
00:10:40,420 --> 00:10:42,615
Arthur, I can't write!

243
00:10:42,660 --> 00:10:46,096
I have spent the last six months
playing Candy Crush!

244
00:10:47,340 --> 00:10:50,013
If she reads this, my career is over.

245
00:10:50,060 --> 00:10:52,733
And you think that this
might affect her

246
00:10:52,780 --> 00:10:54,736
brokering a deal on my behalf?

247
00:10:57,860 --> 00:10:59,213
That is a problem.

248
00:11:02,500 --> 00:11:06,573
"Sodden with drink,
mascara running down her face,

249
00:11:06,620 --> 00:11:08,133
"Sheila fought back the tears

250
00:11:08,180 --> 00:11:10,933
"as Martin Amis pulled
his underpants back up...

251
00:11:12,420 --> 00:11:15,298
"..and told her their affair
must come to an end.

252
00:11:15,340 --> 00:11:17,854
"Just one more night, Martin."
she pleaded.

253
00:11:17,900 --> 00:11:19,618
"I promise I won't snore."

254
00:11:21,580 --> 00:11:22,899
And all that happened?

255
00:11:22,940 --> 00:11:24,976
It's word for word! Ugh...

256
00:11:25,020 --> 00:11:27,375
Could you lift your head?
I don't think that's hygienic.

257
00:11:27,420 --> 00:11:29,138
Oh, sorry.

258
00:11:29,180 --> 00:11:31,410
I can't survive in London
without an agent.

259
00:11:31,460 --> 00:11:33,291
The rents here are astronomical.

260
00:11:33,340 --> 00:11:34,659
So, er...

261
00:11:34,700 --> 00:11:35,849
You got a flat?

262
00:11:36,900 --> 00:11:39,937
Yeah, I... Yeah, I thought
I would for a while.

263
00:11:39,980 --> 00:11:41,732
Really? That's, er...

264
00:11:43,220 --> 00:11:44,255
Hey, darling.

265
00:11:45,900 --> 00:11:47,253
See you later.

266
00:11:50,660 --> 00:11:51,775
Love you!

267
00:12:00,020 --> 00:12:02,011
Here, I've been thinking.

268
00:12:02,060 --> 00:12:04,051
Stop it, stop thinking.

269
00:12:04,100 --> 00:12:06,136
Do you know where Sheila lives?

270
00:12:06,180 --> 00:12:07,408
Yes.

271
00:12:07,460 --> 00:12:10,532
Well, there you go. You said
she was away for the weekend.

272
00:12:10,580 --> 00:12:14,368
We can get in to her house and
change her manuscript for a new one.

273
00:12:14,420 --> 00:12:17,298
Eh? You can change all the bits
you don't think she'll like!

274
00:12:17,340 --> 00:12:18,739
She won't like any of it!

275
00:12:18,780 --> 00:12:20,372
I'd have to rewrite the whole thing.

276
00:12:20,420 --> 00:12:22,411
Well, we've got nearly
a whole weekend.

277
00:12:22,460 --> 00:12:25,133
That's longer than it took me
to write it.

278
00:12:25,180 --> 00:12:29,014
Sheila always leaves a key under
a plant pot by her front door,

279
00:12:29,060 --> 00:12:31,415
for the neighbours to feed the cat.
Brilliant!

280
00:12:31,460 --> 00:12:34,293
We can get in, drop off
the dummy manuscript

281
00:12:34,340 --> 00:12:35,932
and make our getaway.

282
00:12:35,980 --> 00:12:38,175
Hey! It'll be like a heist!

283
00:12:38,220 --> 00:12:39,619
It's not like a heist!

284
00:12:39,660 --> 00:12:40,934
It's a bit like a heist.

285
00:12:40,980 --> 00:12:43,050
No, we're just dropping
something off.

286
00:12:43,100 --> 00:12:46,376
I know you like to live as if
you're in a film, but I don't.

287
00:12:46,420 --> 00:12:49,298
I'm not a heist type of person!

288
00:12:49,340 --> 00:12:50,978
You're not.

289
00:12:51,020 --> 00:12:52,612
But I know a man who is.

290
00:12:58,340 --> 00:12:59,898
You see...

291
00:12:59,940 --> 00:13:02,374
I don't do that stuff anymore.

292
00:13:02,420 --> 00:13:03,489
I'm retired.

293
00:13:03,540 --> 00:13:05,895
Come on, just one last job -

294
00:13:05,940 --> 00:13:07,293
for me.

295
00:13:07,340 --> 00:13:08,659
Let me make a few calls.

296
00:13:14,620 --> 00:13:16,929
Will you please turn the light on!

297
00:13:16,980 --> 00:13:18,572
Michael,

298
00:13:18,620 --> 00:13:20,690
this is how you do
this sort of thing.

299
00:13:20,740 --> 00:13:22,890
We all know who it is!

300
00:13:22,940 --> 00:13:25,534
And anyway, I've changed my mind.
We're not going to her house.

301
00:13:25,580 --> 00:13:28,856
All right, what do you suggest?
How are we supposed to swap them?

302
00:13:28,900 --> 00:13:30,572
I don't know.

303
00:13:30,620 --> 00:13:33,418
I'll... I'll go to her house first
thing on Monday morning and say,

304
00:13:33,460 --> 00:13:35,576
"Here you are, Sheila.
Here's a nicer manuscript

305
00:13:35,620 --> 00:13:39,056
"where everything is spelt correctly
and there's nothing about

306
00:13:39,100 --> 00:13:42,934
"an older version of you and me in a
menage a trois with Will Self."

307
00:13:44,220 --> 00:13:45,448
All right, clever clogs.

308
00:13:45,500 --> 00:13:48,333
What if she decides to come back
early and reads it, eh?

309
00:13:48,380 --> 00:13:51,895
She comes back, goes to bed,
can't sleep, gets up,

310
00:13:51,940 --> 00:13:54,056
has a few drinks to send her off.

311
00:13:54,100 --> 00:13:57,490
Drinks a bit too much,
sick all over the place.

312
00:13:57,540 --> 00:14:00,930
There's nothing wrong with that,
we've all done it.

313
00:14:00,980 --> 00:14:02,698
Looks down, sees a manuscript,

314
00:14:02,740 --> 00:14:06,050
thinks, "Ooh, now I've been sick,
I'll have a read of that." Eh?

315
00:14:06,100 --> 00:14:08,136
No, no, no, no, no.

316
00:14:08,180 --> 00:14:11,536
An exciting heist is the
only sensible solution.

317
00:14:11,580 --> 00:14:13,332
How are you getting on?

318
00:14:13,380 --> 00:14:15,098
I've finished the first chapter.

319
00:14:15,140 --> 00:14:16,140
All right.

320
00:14:17,540 --> 00:14:19,735
I've called in a few favours.

321
00:14:19,780 --> 00:14:22,135
What? What favours?
What do you mean?

322
00:14:22,180 --> 00:14:24,057
I'm a fixer, Michael.

323
00:14:24,100 --> 00:14:26,819
I connect people with other people.
That's what I do.

324
00:14:26,860 --> 00:14:29,420
What other people? Don't be telling
other people about this!

325
00:14:29,460 --> 00:14:31,371
Who are these people?
Stop talking to people.

326
00:14:31,420 --> 00:14:32,899
I don't want to do a heist!

327
00:14:34,020 --> 00:14:36,932
Get it straight, pal -
I ain't here to say "please".

328
00:14:36,980 --> 00:14:39,972
This ain't Downton Abbey,
this is real life!

329
00:14:40,020 --> 00:14:42,409
And if you ain't got
the stomach for it,

330
00:14:42,460 --> 00:14:44,451
tell me now, or I'll walk!

331
00:14:44,500 --> 00:14:46,695
No, no, no, John,
it's not like that at all.

332
00:14:46,740 --> 00:14:49,129
Your help here is definitely
appreciated.

333
00:14:49,180 --> 00:14:51,455
Michael, say you're sorry.

334
00:14:51,500 --> 00:14:53,058
He hit me!

335
00:14:53,100 --> 00:14:54,419
John hit me!

336
00:14:54,460 --> 00:14:57,258
Snap out of it! You've got to
pull yourself together!

337
00:14:57,300 --> 00:14:58,779
Don't you hit me!

338
00:14:58,820 --> 00:15:00,776
Nobody's allowed to hit me any more!

339
00:15:00,820 --> 00:15:03,414
You better put some
iron in your knickers, Missus.

340
00:15:03,460 --> 00:15:05,894
There's no room in this
outfit for a Jemima!

341
00:15:10,980 --> 00:15:13,050
Isn't this brilliant?

342
00:15:21,580 --> 00:15:25,209
How much longer have we got to
stay cooped up in this room?

343
00:15:25,260 --> 00:15:26,773
It's driving me crazy.

344
00:15:30,740 --> 00:15:33,937
Right, here we go.

345
00:15:37,380 --> 00:15:38,813
What?

346
00:15:38,860 --> 00:15:40,373
I'm quite scared.

347
00:15:40,420 --> 00:15:43,218
I don't want to get mixed up with
gangsters and that sort of thing.

348
00:15:43,260 --> 00:15:45,137
I'm finding this all
very stressful.

349
00:15:45,180 --> 00:15:47,535
Pull yourself together!
We've talked about this.

350
00:15:47,580 --> 00:15:49,172
There's no other option.

351
00:15:49,220 --> 00:15:50,335
But what if we get caught?

352
00:15:50,380 --> 00:15:52,530
John's one of the best
fixers there is.

353
00:15:52,580 --> 00:15:56,892
We've got to get that book back,
or it's curtains for both of us.

354
00:15:56,940 --> 00:15:58,976
How are you doing?

355
00:15:59,020 --> 00:16:02,296
All right, I, er, I lost chapter three
because it didn't really add anything,

356
00:16:02,340 --> 00:16:04,456
so I think you get into the action
a bit quicker now.

357
00:16:04,500 --> 00:16:05,853
Sounds good! Where are you up to?

358
00:16:05,900 --> 00:16:08,175
I'm at the bit where they...

359
00:16:08,220 --> 00:16:10,609
check into the Premier Inn
for the weekend.

360
00:16:12,300 --> 00:16:14,860
I'm quite frightened about that too.

361
00:16:14,900 --> 00:16:17,778
Is that the bit where she scalds
her backside on the towel rail?

362
00:16:19,420 --> 00:16:21,376
Thanks for turning out.

363
00:16:21,420 --> 00:16:22,933
I appreciate this.

364
00:16:22,980 --> 00:16:24,413
I know you're a busy man.

365
00:16:28,140 --> 00:16:30,256
Hello, everyone!

366
00:16:30,300 --> 00:16:31,369
Eggy?

367
00:16:31,420 --> 00:16:32,899
That's who we've been waiting for?

368
00:16:32,940 --> 00:16:34,692
What a lovely surprise!

369
00:16:34,740 --> 00:16:36,298
Sorry I'm late.

370
00:16:36,340 --> 00:16:40,015
I was on the toilet and the cat
fell asleep in my trousers.

371
00:16:40,060 --> 00:16:42,051
I didn't have the heart to wake him.

372
00:16:42,100 --> 00:16:44,250
Aww, that would make a nice poster.

373
00:16:47,420 --> 00:16:49,980
You bloody slapped me
and we were waiting for Eggy?

374
00:16:50,020 --> 00:16:51,214
No names!

375
00:16:53,540 --> 00:16:56,008
We've got to use nicknames.

376
00:16:56,060 --> 00:16:57,209
He's The Lookout.

377
00:16:57,260 --> 00:16:58,898
Every outfit has a Lookout.

378
00:16:58,940 --> 00:17:00,931
What are you, then? The Fixer.

379
00:17:00,980 --> 00:17:02,732
Because you phoned Eggy?

380
00:17:04,740 --> 00:17:06,571
I'm The Ghost.

381
00:17:06,620 --> 00:17:09,293
The Ghost? What makes you The Ghost?

382
00:17:09,340 --> 00:17:11,854
Because I'm a shadow - I'm a rumour.

383
00:17:11,900 --> 00:17:13,379
No-one knows if I...

384
00:17:20,940 --> 00:17:22,339
...if I exist.

385
00:17:24,740 --> 00:17:26,492
What about me?
Should I have a nickname?

386
00:17:26,540 --> 00:17:29,452
I don't want to be called
"Bookworm", thank you, Arthur.

387
00:17:29,500 --> 00:17:31,013
I was called that at school.

388
00:17:31,060 --> 00:17:33,779
What about "The Computer Boy"?

389
00:17:33,820 --> 00:17:34,969
I'm not a boy.

390
00:17:35,020 --> 00:17:36,772
All right, "The Computer Man".

391
00:17:36,820 --> 00:17:38,697
No, that sounds like
I work in a repair shop.

392
00:17:38,740 --> 00:17:41,015
Don't knock it,
there's a lot of money in that.

393
00:17:41,060 --> 00:17:43,290
Hey, they do say that
in the future,

394
00:17:43,340 --> 00:17:46,059
there'II be a computer
in every home...

395
00:17:47,260 --> 00:17:49,899
...as pisposperous as that may sound.

396
00:17:49,940 --> 00:17:52,010
Oh, Eggy - did you remember
Captain Phillips?

397
00:17:52,060 --> 00:17:55,052
Sorry, Arthur. The whole cat thing
put it out of my head.

398
00:17:55,100 --> 00:17:58,888
Oh, Eggy - you can't let nesting
cats affect you to that extent.

399
00:17:58,940 --> 00:18:00,976
If something like that's
going to distract him,

400
00:18:01,020 --> 00:18:02,373
we might as well give up now!

401
00:18:13,060 --> 00:18:15,176
What is it we're doing again?
Nicknames!

402
00:18:15,220 --> 00:18:17,290
Nicknames.

403
00:18:17,340 --> 00:18:19,012
So that's settled.

404
00:18:19,060 --> 00:18:20,379
The Fixer,

405
00:18:20,420 --> 00:18:21,614
The Lookout,

406
00:18:21,660 --> 00:18:23,412
The Ghost...

407
00:18:23,460 --> 00:18:25,416
Captain Mark Phillips.

408
00:18:25,460 --> 00:18:27,496
This is ridiculous.
We don't need nicknames!

409
00:18:27,540 --> 00:18:29,019
You're ruining it for everyone!

410
00:18:29,060 --> 00:18:30,288
Knock it off, you two.

411
00:18:30,340 --> 00:18:32,808
Well, I didn't want him
on the job in the first place!

412
00:18:32,860 --> 00:18:34,771
The kid's green!

413
00:18:36,180 --> 00:18:38,489
He's greener than a stick of celery!

414
00:18:38,540 --> 00:18:40,098
All right, look! I'll be "Fingers" -

415
00:18:40,140 --> 00:18:41,778
because I type with my fingers.

416
00:18:41,820 --> 00:18:44,573
Oh, that makes
a lot of sense actually.

417
00:18:44,620 --> 00:18:48,169
All right, that's settled then.
The Fixer, The Ghost...

418
00:18:48,220 --> 00:18:50,780
All right,
keep your hair on, Thimbles.

419
00:18:50,820 --> 00:18:52,139
Fingers!

420
00:18:52,180 --> 00:18:53,215
Who's Fingers?

421
00:18:53,260 --> 00:18:55,535
I am! Because I type with my fingers!

422
00:18:55,580 --> 00:18:58,014
Oh, that makes a lot of sense,
actually.

423
00:19:04,540 --> 00:19:06,337
Finished.

424
00:19:06,380 --> 00:19:08,291
I did it.

425
00:19:08,340 --> 00:19:09,819
I did it.

426
00:19:09,860 --> 00:19:11,418
A few days ago, I had writer's block.

427
00:19:11,460 --> 00:19:14,372
Now I've written an
erotic novel about the elderly.

428
00:19:16,420 --> 00:19:19,810
Oh, be careful - don't get it
confused up with the old one.

429
00:19:19,860 --> 00:19:21,771
Well, no, no. That's the old one.

430
00:19:21,820 --> 00:19:22,855
This one?

431
00:19:22,900 --> 00:19:25,494
No, no, that one.
Don't get them mixed up.

432
00:19:25,540 --> 00:19:27,371
Haha! Imagine if that happened.

433
00:19:35,140 --> 00:19:36,255
Here we are, everyone!

434
00:19:36,300 --> 00:19:37,494
What's in there?

435
00:19:37,540 --> 00:19:38,814
Our disguises!

436
00:19:38,860 --> 00:19:41,772
Disguises! Ooh, this just gets
better and better!

437
00:19:41,820 --> 00:19:44,254
What kind of disguises?
Cos I can't wear a balaclava.

438
00:19:44,300 --> 00:19:45,699
Unless it's silk. Is it silk?

439
00:19:45,740 --> 00:19:46,968
I can't have wool on my face.

440
00:19:47,020 --> 00:19:49,215
Can't you?
Well, I have a similar thing.

441
00:19:49,260 --> 00:19:51,296
I can't wear anything
with lace on it.

442
00:19:51,340 --> 00:19:53,331
Oh, lace is a nightmare.

443
00:19:53,380 --> 00:19:55,814
No, no, look.

444
00:19:55,860 --> 00:19:57,259
Of course!

445
00:19:57,300 --> 00:20:01,213
And if anyone asks, we can say
we're painters and decorators.

446
00:20:01,260 --> 00:20:02,579
Brilliant, Eggy!

447
00:20:03,980 --> 00:20:07,529
We're going to need transport.
Something that won't draw attention.

448
00:20:07,580 --> 00:20:08,979
Don't worry, John.

449
00:20:09,020 --> 00:20:10,499
I've got that covered.

450
00:20:14,900 --> 00:20:18,051
I've told you,
we don't do ice creams!

451
00:20:18,100 --> 00:20:20,170
We're painters and decorators!

452
00:20:20,220 --> 00:20:22,336
What are you doing up so late,
anyway?

453
00:20:23,900 --> 00:20:25,094
What is wrong with people,

454
00:20:25,140 --> 00:20:27,574
letting their children
gallivant about at this hour?

455
00:20:27,620 --> 00:20:28,973
You put the music on!

456
00:20:29,020 --> 00:20:30,294
That was an accident!

457
00:20:30,340 --> 00:20:33,173
All right, all right, don't let's
not go over all that again.

458
00:20:33,220 --> 00:20:35,654
Well, I haven't seen any
lights for an hour.

459
00:20:35,700 --> 00:20:37,372
There's definitely nobody in there.

460
00:20:37,420 --> 00:20:40,093
All right, I think we're as ready
as we're ever going to be.

461
00:20:42,660 --> 00:20:43,979
OK, is everyone ready?

462
00:20:45,300 --> 00:20:46,574
Right, let's do this.

463
00:20:50,860 --> 00:20:52,339
Where are you all going?

464
00:20:56,300 --> 00:20:58,131
Isn't it that one?

465
00:20:58,180 --> 00:21:00,216
No!

466
00:21:00,260 --> 00:21:02,137
Have you all been looking at
the wrong house?

467
00:21:02,180 --> 00:21:03,454
Is it not that one?

468
00:21:03,500 --> 00:21:04,649
No!

469
00:21:06,060 --> 00:21:07,493
"The Lookout"

470
00:21:13,580 --> 00:21:16,572
What do we say again,
if someone comes? Who are we?

471
00:21:16,620 --> 00:21:19,453
24 hour emergency painters
and decorators.

472
00:21:22,500 --> 00:21:23,615
It's not here!

473
00:21:23,660 --> 00:21:24,729
What's not?

474
00:21:24,780 --> 00:21:27,374
The key! She always leaves it here.

475
00:21:27,420 --> 00:21:29,809
Brilliant! That means
we can break in!

476
00:21:29,860 --> 00:21:31,179
It is a heist!

477
00:21:31,220 --> 00:21:33,051
It's not a heist!

478
00:21:33,100 --> 00:21:34,135
Hello?

479
00:21:41,380 --> 00:21:43,211
It's all right.

480
00:21:43,260 --> 00:21:44,773
We're painting Sheila's door.

481
00:21:44,820 --> 00:21:46,458
Don't use her name!

482
00:21:46,500 --> 00:21:48,092
All right, I'm sorry.

483
00:21:48,140 --> 00:21:52,816
Er... We're painting this door,
but we don't know who lives here.

484
00:21:52,860 --> 00:21:54,930
What, at night?

485
00:21:54,980 --> 00:21:57,289
Emergency 24 hour call-out.

486
00:22:00,900 --> 00:22:02,299
Do you have a card?

487
00:22:02,340 --> 00:22:03,375
I'm sorry?

488
00:22:03,420 --> 00:22:04,535
Do you have a card?

489
00:22:04,580 --> 00:22:06,855
Er, not on me, no.

490
00:22:06,900 --> 00:22:09,937
But if you want my number
for a quote or something,

491
00:22:09,980 --> 00:22:11,857
it's Arthur Strong...

492
00:22:11,900 --> 00:22:13,492
Count Arthur Strong

493
00:22:13,540 --> 00:22:14,734
and the number is

494
00:22:14,780 --> 00:22:19,729
02079460012.

495
00:22:20,940 --> 00:22:22,214
I may be in touch.

496
00:22:24,340 --> 00:22:27,457
Arthur, you've just
told him your name.

497
00:22:27,500 --> 00:22:29,138
Oh, for crying out...

498
00:22:29,180 --> 00:22:30,852
Er, hello? I'm sorry.

499
00:22:32,620 --> 00:22:34,497
Hello?

500
00:22:34,540 --> 00:22:35,540
What?

501
00:22:35,580 --> 00:22:37,218
I gave you a false name then,

502
00:22:37,260 --> 00:22:39,376
I sometimes use for
things like this.

503
00:22:40,420 --> 00:22:42,058
My real name is...

504
00:22:43,260 --> 00:22:45,330
...Rocky Fuglar Hegarty.

505
00:22:46,740 --> 00:22:47,855
Thanks.

506
00:22:47,900 --> 00:22:49,333
I think I got away with it.

507
00:22:50,580 --> 00:22:52,138
I went in round the back.

508
00:22:52,180 --> 00:22:54,694
All right, come in, come in, come in.

509
00:22:54,740 --> 00:22:56,810
Where are the torches?

510
00:22:56,860 --> 00:22:58,976
Torches...

511
00:22:59,020 --> 00:23:01,295
You forgot the torches?
I don't believe it, John!

512
00:23:01,340 --> 00:23:04,218
Right, the first thing we have to do
is find some torches.

513
00:23:04,260 --> 00:23:06,615
Fingers, you know her
better than anyone -

514
00:23:06,660 --> 00:23:08,457
where would Sheila keep a torch?

515
00:23:08,500 --> 00:23:10,092
It's all right. I'll use my phone.

516
00:23:10,140 --> 00:23:13,052
Who are you phoning? Sheila?
Ask her where she keeps a torch!

517
00:23:14,180 --> 00:23:15,932
I'll use my phone as a light!

518
00:23:15,980 --> 00:23:18,778
Hang on a second, you could use
that to find the manuscript -

519
00:23:18,820 --> 00:23:20,412
then we won't need a torch!

520
00:23:20,460 --> 00:23:21,495
I know!

521
00:23:21,540 --> 00:23:24,657
And we won't need to phone Sheila.
Cancel the call to Sheila.

522
00:23:24,700 --> 00:23:28,136
Go outside and start the van,
I can do this myself.

523
00:23:28,180 --> 00:23:29,772
I want to come with you!

524
00:23:29,820 --> 00:23:30,820
Why?

525
00:23:30,860 --> 00:23:32,054
It's exciting!

526
00:23:32,100 --> 00:23:33,658
Oh, all right.

527
00:23:36,900 --> 00:23:38,299
Right, come on, quick.

528
00:23:40,540 --> 00:23:41,575
What's up with you?

529
00:23:41,620 --> 00:23:43,815
I thought there'd be
a bit more to it than this.

530
00:23:43,860 --> 00:23:46,658
You know, like guard dogs
and trip wires.

531
00:23:46,700 --> 00:23:48,258
This isn't a film!

532
00:23:53,180 --> 00:23:55,648
No, no, no, it's not too late.

533
00:23:55,700 --> 00:23:57,577
We're just coming in now.

534
00:23:57,620 --> 00:23:58,894
It's Sheila.

535
00:23:58,940 --> 00:24:00,089
Thank you again, Sheila!

536
00:24:00,140 --> 00:24:03,018
Peter says thank you.
And yeah, thank you from me too.

537
00:24:03,060 --> 00:24:04,891
It's been a brilliant stay.

538
00:24:04,940 --> 00:24:06,658
All right, enjoy the rest of it.

539
00:24:06,700 --> 00:24:08,930
Bye. Bye, Sis.

540
00:24:08,980 --> 00:24:12,052
Ah, right.
Going to shower and go to bed.

541
00:24:12,100 --> 00:24:15,410
Mwah. Mwah.Night-night.
Night-night.

542
00:24:15,460 --> 00:24:17,052
I might just watch a film.

543
00:24:24,380 --> 00:24:26,052
Captain Phillips.

544
00:24:33,220 --> 00:24:35,017
I've been dying to see this.

545
00:24:36,820 --> 00:24:38,856
Have you fed the cat?

546
00:24:38,900 --> 00:24:40,458
No, I haven't fed the cat...

547
00:24:42,820 --> 00:24:44,651
Shall we make a run for it?

548
00:24:44,700 --> 00:24:47,009
It's Captain Phillips!

549
00:24:47,060 --> 00:24:48,413
So what?

550
00:24:48,460 --> 00:24:50,815
I really want to see it!

551
00:24:50,860 --> 00:24:52,213
We can't watch it now!

552
00:24:52,260 --> 00:24:54,376
Why not? Have you seen it?

553
00:24:54,420 --> 00:24:55,648
Well, then.

554
00:24:56,700 --> 00:24:59,168
Arthur! I won't be able to enjoy it!

555
00:24:59,220 --> 00:25:00,812
This situation is stressful enough

556
00:25:00,860 --> 00:25:03,010
without having to watch
Captain Phillips!

557
00:25:03,060 --> 00:25:05,574
It might take your mind off things.

558
00:25:05,620 --> 00:25:07,258
No! Done it!

559
00:25:07,300 --> 00:25:09,370
Oh, for God's sake -
he's coming back!

560
00:25:30,180 --> 00:25:31,533
He's asleep.

561
00:25:32,980 --> 00:25:34,459
I can't take this, Arthur!

562
00:25:34,500 --> 00:25:38,539
If they don't rescue Tom Hanks soon,
I'm going to have a heart attack.

563
00:25:38,580 --> 00:25:39,933
Oh, I've had enough.

564
00:25:39,980 --> 00:25:42,289
There's not a proper pirate in it.

565
00:25:42,340 --> 00:25:44,171
What's happened to Johnny Depp?

566
00:25:47,140 --> 00:25:49,051
Come on.

567
00:25:52,460 --> 00:25:53,813
Where've you been?

568
00:25:53,860 --> 00:25:56,533
We were about to phone the police.

569
00:25:56,580 --> 00:25:57,729
The police?

570
00:25:59,620 --> 00:26:01,417
Brilliant.

571
00:26:01,460 --> 00:26:03,257
We've been watching
Captain Phillips.

572
00:26:03,300 --> 00:26:04,938
Ooh, was it good?

573
00:26:04,980 --> 00:26:07,619
Nah, I didn't like it, Eggy.
Beautifully acted, but I think...

574
00:26:07,660 --> 00:26:09,571
It's not important!

575
00:26:09,620 --> 00:26:11,019
By the way,

576
00:26:11,060 --> 00:26:13,699
is this not the one you
should have taken in?

577
00:26:13,740 --> 00:26:15,139
No, no, no, no, no.

578
00:26:17,940 --> 00:26:19,168
Oh, Eggy!

579
00:26:19,220 --> 00:26:21,131
It's not his fault.
Shut up, John!

580
00:26:21,180 --> 00:26:23,500
Don't you tell me to shut up...
I will tell you to shut up!

581
00:26:23,540 --> 00:26:24,689
Why didn't you tell me?

582
00:26:24,740 --> 00:26:26,651
Well, because you sent me
back out to the van.

583
00:26:26,700 --> 00:26:28,213
You could have come back and got me!

584
00:26:28,260 --> 00:26:30,854
Guys, guys! Listen to you -

585
00:26:30,900 --> 00:26:34,097
arguing like cats fighting
in a pair of Eggy's trousers.

586
00:26:35,540 --> 00:26:36,973
All right,

587
00:26:37,020 --> 00:26:40,490
maybe the heist wasn't
entirely successful,

588
00:26:40,540 --> 00:26:44,215
but two of us got to watch
a bit of Captain Phillips for free

589
00:26:44,260 --> 00:26:46,728
and I'd say that was
pretty good going.

590
00:26:46,780 --> 00:26:50,136
Even though in my opinion
it's... slightly over-rated.

591
00:26:51,300 --> 00:26:53,291
It just shows you
what we can achieve.

592
00:26:53,340 --> 00:26:54,932
"What we can achieve"?

593
00:26:56,180 --> 00:26:59,456
We have just replaced a manuscript

594
00:26:59,500 --> 00:27:01,968
with all of Sheila's stories in

595
00:27:02,020 --> 00:27:03,817
with another manuscript,

596
00:27:03,860 --> 00:27:07,170
which is exactly the same.

597
00:27:07,220 --> 00:27:08,972
Yes -

598
00:27:09,020 --> 00:27:10,738
and we did it...

599
00:27:10,780 --> 00:27:12,213
together!

600
00:27:15,500 --> 00:27:17,218
'I loved it, Michael!

601
00:27:17,260 --> 00:27:20,889
'Completely unpublishable of course,
but it's very jolly!'

602
00:27:20,940 --> 00:27:24,091
Did you know he's named
the protagonists after us?

603
00:27:24,140 --> 00:27:26,096
'Oh, and she's a great character.'

604
00:27:26,140 --> 00:27:29,132
Boozy old flirt
with a drink problem.

605
00:27:29,180 --> 00:27:31,899
I know so many people like that
in this business.

606
00:27:31,940 --> 00:27:33,771
Right. OK...

607
00:27:33,820 --> 00:27:35,299
Thanks, Sheila.

608
00:27:35,340 --> 00:27:36,489
Bye!

609
00:27:38,500 --> 00:27:40,650
She liked it.

610
00:27:40,700 --> 00:27:41,894
Did she?

611
00:27:41,940 --> 00:27:44,818
What about the names and all the
stories you told me about her?

612
00:27:44,860 --> 00:27:46,418
She just thinks it's true to life.

613
00:27:46,460 --> 00:27:47,654
Brilliant!

614
00:27:47,700 --> 00:27:49,770
Hey, everyone!
I'm having a book published!

615
00:27:49,820 --> 00:27:51,538
Oh, no, no, sorry, Arthur. She...

616
00:27:52,820 --> 00:27:55,254
She doesn't think the public's
quite ready for it.

617
00:27:57,420 --> 00:27:59,058
Oh, well, it doesn't matter.

618
00:27:59,100 --> 00:28:00,499
Ahead of its time.

619
00:28:01,900 --> 00:28:03,538
I'll just have to write another one.

620
00:28:03,580 --> 00:28:04,774
How do you do it?

621
00:28:04,820 --> 00:28:08,096
How do you just
sit down and... do it?

622
00:28:08,140 --> 00:28:11,018
Well, you just make a start,
don't you?

623
00:28:11,060 --> 00:28:12,175
Remember,

624
00:28:12,220 --> 00:28:14,688
a job begun is a job half done.

625
00:28:16,260 --> 00:28:18,455
Hey, Arthur! Is this true?

626
00:28:18,500 --> 00:28:20,058
Sinem paid for your lunch?

627
00:28:20,100 --> 00:28:22,568
Sinem very kindly said
I could pay her tomorrow,

628
00:28:22,620 --> 00:28:25,692
when I'm wearing
the correct clothing.

629
00:28:25,740 --> 00:28:28,300
I told you - you eat now,
you pay now!

630
00:28:28,340 --> 00:28:30,217
All right, Michael?

631
00:28:30,260 --> 00:28:31,260
Hi, Eggy.

632
00:28:31,300 --> 00:28:32,858
What you writing, Fingers?

633
00:28:34,780 --> 00:28:36,452
I don't know.

634
00:28:36,500 --> 00:28:40,379
Oh, no, no, no, no, no, listen -
it's nothing to do with you...