1
00:00:14,940 --> 00:00:17,408
Which ones do you think then?
These or these?

2
00:00:17,460 --> 00:00:19,416
Er, I don't know.
They both look nice.

3
00:00:19,460 --> 00:00:22,213
Oh, you're useless, you are.
I don't know!

4
00:00:22,260 --> 00:00:23,773
Just sit over there and wait for me

5
00:00:23,820 --> 00:00:25,538
if you're not going to be
more helpful.

6
00:00:44,700 --> 00:00:48,534
I don't know where they expect you
to hang your bloody trousers up!

7
00:00:48,580 --> 00:00:49,979
That's not how it started.

8
00:00:50,020 --> 00:00:55,617
That's not how it started!
It all started with... Dinky Donk.

9
00:00:55,660 --> 00:00:58,333
Excuse me, I think
I know how it started.

10
00:00:58,380 --> 00:00:59,574
Don't snap at him.

11
00:00:59,620 --> 00:01:01,656
Don't tell Arthur not
to snap at people!

12
00:01:01,700 --> 00:01:02,849
Thank you, Eggy.

13
00:01:02,900 --> 00:01:05,733
Guys... guys. Guys. Guys!

14
00:01:05,780 --> 00:01:08,248
This has got to be a safe space.

15
00:01:08,300 --> 00:01:10,256
We're not going to get anywhere
if we argue!

16
00:01:10,300 --> 00:01:12,131
Yes, we are.

17
00:01:12,180 --> 00:01:14,136
Yes, we are! Arguing is
constructive.

18
00:01:14,180 --> 00:01:16,216
No, it's not. See!

19
00:01:16,260 --> 00:01:17,454
OK!

20
00:01:17,500 --> 00:01:19,377
Look, Sinem's given up her
evening for this,

21
00:01:19,420 --> 00:01:21,729
the least that we can do is
make an effort.

22
00:01:21,780 --> 00:01:23,293
Sorry, Sinem.

23
00:01:23,340 --> 00:01:25,012
Sorry, Sinem.

24
00:01:25,060 --> 00:01:28,336
All right.
Michael, what were you saying?

25
00:01:28,380 --> 00:01:31,099
You think it started
before Arthur's arrest?

26
00:01:31,140 --> 00:01:33,608
Yes, ages before that.

27
00:01:33,660 --> 00:01:36,777
For me, it all started
with Dinky Donk.

28
00:01:41,220 --> 00:01:43,780
Do you know who I was thinking about
the other day?

29
00:01:43,820 --> 00:01:45,378
No.

30
00:01:45,420 --> 00:01:46,489
Dinky Donk.

31
00:01:47,540 --> 00:01:49,337
Dinky Donk!

32
00:01:50,940 --> 00:01:53,135
Poor old Dinky Donk.

33
00:01:53,180 --> 00:01:55,171
"Dinky Donk"?

34
00:01:55,220 --> 00:01:57,290
It wasn't his real name.

35
00:01:57,340 --> 00:01:59,900
Oh, so no relation to
Lord and Lady Dinky Donk.

36
00:02:01,580 --> 00:02:02,729
I don't think so.

37
00:02:05,140 --> 00:02:06,698
He was a regular.

38
00:02:06,740 --> 00:02:09,015
Bit of an egghead, wasn't he, John?
Yeah.

39
00:02:10,340 --> 00:02:12,934
You remind me a little bit of him,
actually.

40
00:02:14,060 --> 00:02:17,370
Used to sit where you're sitting.
Right there.

41
00:02:17,420 --> 00:02:20,935
Bit of a loner. Never married.

42
00:02:20,980 --> 00:02:23,972
The only friends
he ever made were people like us.

43
00:02:27,780 --> 00:02:29,975
People he met in the cafe.

44
00:02:31,780 --> 00:02:34,533
One day he just...

45
00:02:34,580 --> 00:02:36,411
...died.

46
00:02:40,420 --> 00:02:41,773
In that chair.

47
00:02:45,340 --> 00:02:47,092
Right in that chair.

48
00:02:48,700 --> 00:02:50,292
Right in that very...

49
00:02:50,340 --> 00:02:51,978
Yes, all right, thank you!

50
00:02:52,020 --> 00:02:54,853
It's been lovely speaking to you.

51
00:02:54,900 --> 00:02:56,333
You all right?

52
00:02:56,380 --> 00:02:59,770
They're telling me I remind them
of someone called Dinky Donk.

53
00:03:01,700 --> 00:03:03,292
What?

54
00:03:03,340 --> 00:03:07,970
Oh, well, he was a... a bit
of an intellectual, like you...

55
00:03:08,020 --> 00:03:13,538
and... you know, he was,
shall we say a...

56
00:03:13,580 --> 00:03:15,172
lone wolf.

57
00:03:15,220 --> 00:03:17,654
A lone wolf?
That means a lonely man.

58
00:03:18,740 --> 00:03:21,538
Are you calling me
a lonely wolf man?

59
00:03:21,580 --> 00:03:24,253
Well, you've never lived
with anyone, have you?

60
00:03:24,300 --> 00:03:26,530
You prefer your own company.

61
00:03:26,580 --> 00:03:30,368
That means lonely man too!
Stop calling me a lonely man.

62
00:03:31,820 --> 00:03:34,380
No, no, no, if you're going
to start at the start,

63
00:03:34,420 --> 00:03:36,172
then start at the start.

64
00:03:36,220 --> 00:03:38,336
It all began with the trouser fire.

65
00:03:39,380 --> 00:03:42,053
I was literally
just about to come on to that.

66
00:03:42,100 --> 00:03:45,012
Yes, but it's a choice.
I could live with someone!

67
00:03:45,060 --> 00:03:46,857
I could live with someone
if I wanted to!

68
00:03:48,140 --> 00:03:49,334
Michael!

69
00:03:51,100 --> 00:03:54,615
I need to move in with you
immediately!

70
00:03:54,660 --> 00:03:56,457
There's been a trouser fire!

71
00:03:59,860 --> 00:04:01,373
A trouser fire?

72
00:04:01,420 --> 00:04:04,571
The whole lot! Open flames.

73
00:04:04,620 --> 00:04:06,895
Getting quite sick of it, Michael.

74
00:04:06,940 --> 00:04:09,408
Quite, quite sick of it.

75
00:04:09,460 --> 00:04:11,576
So just your trousers went on fire?

76
00:04:11,620 --> 00:04:15,090
Yes. Otherwise it would just have
been a fire, wouldn't it?

77
00:04:17,180 --> 00:04:19,535
Just your trousers?
Nothing else in the room?

78
00:04:19,580 --> 00:04:21,650
Yes, just my trousers.

79
00:04:21,700 --> 00:04:25,659
Are you unfamiliar with the concept
of a trouser fire, Michael?

80
00:04:25,700 --> 00:04:28,897
Well, yes.
So why do you need to stay with me?

81
00:04:28,940 --> 00:04:33,411
Do you have any idea what the smell
of incinerated trousers is like?

82
00:04:33,460 --> 00:04:36,850
It could be days before it's safe
to open the front door.

83
00:04:36,900 --> 00:04:39,698
Well, all right, then. Just...
Oh, no, don't put that there!

84
00:04:39,740 --> 00:04:42,174
Sorry, I just can't afford
many nice things

85
00:04:42,220 --> 00:04:44,176
and that's a Philippe Starck table.

86
00:04:44,220 --> 00:04:48,372
Ooh, give you a lend of it, did he?
Till you can get a proper one?

87
00:04:48,420 --> 00:04:51,776
Listen, don't worry about me,
I'm very low-maintenance.

88
00:04:52,980 --> 00:04:56,609
Ooh, er, except I will need the lend
of a pair of trousers.

89
00:04:56,660 --> 00:05:00,494
Oh, and some money to buy
some new ones.

90
00:05:00,540 --> 00:05:02,929
And, er, a lift to the shop.

91
00:05:04,020 --> 00:05:07,729
Ooh, and if you could make me a cup
of tea, that would be marvellous.

92
00:05:09,220 --> 00:05:13,054
But don't worry about me,
you won't even know I'm here.

93
00:05:15,220 --> 00:05:18,292
I didn't know Arthur could play
the trumpet. He can't.

94
00:05:21,340 --> 00:05:22,932
So, how did it go?

95
00:05:24,260 --> 00:05:26,854
Actually, it went well... at first.

96
00:05:35,700 --> 00:05:36,894
Oh, well, I was going to...

97
00:05:36,940 --> 00:05:38,168
Oh, OK.

98
00:05:38,220 --> 00:05:40,256
I don't need to.

99
00:05:40,300 --> 00:05:42,734
Are you sure?

100
00:05:42,780 --> 00:05:45,010
Wheeler Dealers.

101
00:05:45,060 --> 00:05:47,733
Oh, right. I've never watched it.

102
00:05:47,780 --> 00:05:50,248
What happens in that?
Oh, you're in for a treat.

103
00:05:50,300 --> 00:05:55,249
The little one buys an old car
and the tall one does it up.

104
00:05:56,980 --> 00:05:58,174
Then what?

105
00:05:58,220 --> 00:06:00,336
They sell it for a small loss.

106
00:06:04,500 --> 00:06:05,500
Why?

107
00:06:05,540 --> 00:06:06,540
What?

108
00:06:06,580 --> 00:06:07,580
Why?

109
00:06:13,220 --> 00:06:14,653
Because...

110
00:06:19,500 --> 00:06:20,899
...it's Wheeler Dealers.

111
00:06:22,500 --> 00:06:25,014
Oh. Well, don't let me interrupt.

112
00:06:30,220 --> 00:06:33,337
You see, it's totally unfair
to compare me to Dinky Donk.

113
00:06:33,380 --> 00:06:34,938
I can live with people.

114
00:06:36,900 --> 00:06:38,174
What?

115
00:06:38,220 --> 00:06:40,688
I can live with people.

116
00:06:40,740 --> 00:06:41,809
What?

117
00:06:41,860 --> 00:06:44,772
Well, it's just that's what
Dinky Donk used to say.

118
00:06:44,820 --> 00:06:46,617
It was sort of his catchphrase.

119
00:06:48,420 --> 00:06:52,015
You can't live with people.
You don't have enough patience.

120
00:06:52,060 --> 00:06:53,971
You're impossible to live with.

121
00:06:54,020 --> 00:06:57,615
You get bored. That's why you
abandoned me in the shopping centre.

122
00:07:01,180 --> 00:07:04,490
Where do they expect you to
hang your bloody trousers up?

123
00:07:08,940 --> 00:07:12,489
Hey! Hey! Someone's in here!

124
00:07:15,060 --> 00:07:16,778
The nerve of some people!

125
00:07:25,620 --> 00:07:28,851
Oh, for crying out loud!

126
00:07:28,900 --> 00:07:30,936
Occupied! Occupied!

127
00:07:33,500 --> 00:07:35,092
I didn't know I'd left the place.

128
00:07:35,140 --> 00:07:37,700
It's these shops, you don't
know where you are!

129
00:07:37,740 --> 00:07:39,014
All right, all right.

130
00:07:39,060 --> 00:07:42,370
The lighting is at best frugal
and the music's loud enough to

131
00:07:42,420 --> 00:07:47,335
burst your oil drums... earwigs...
oil rigs... eardrums!

132
00:07:47,380 --> 00:07:51,293
I had to rely almost entirely
on my sense of smell to bypass

133
00:07:51,340 --> 00:07:52,659
the ladies underwear.

134
00:07:54,460 --> 00:07:56,894
You should be giving me
tea and biscuits.

135
00:07:56,940 --> 00:07:59,738
I'm just a Iikeable old man.

136
00:07:59,780 --> 00:08:01,372
I'm the victim in all this.

137
00:08:01,420 --> 00:08:02,569
How's that, then?

138
00:08:02,620 --> 00:08:04,099
Because if you must know,

139
00:08:04,140 --> 00:08:07,291
I'm still traumatised
from a recent trouser fire.

140
00:08:07,340 --> 00:08:10,491
Oh, right. Someone fitting your
description has been taking stuff

141
00:08:10,540 --> 00:08:12,132
from shops in the area...

142
00:08:12,180 --> 00:08:15,536
It wasn't me!
I haven't been in the area.

143
00:08:15,580 --> 00:08:18,253
Well, you have because
we arrested you in the area.

144
00:08:18,300 --> 00:08:20,768
You can't start arresting
people willy-nilly

145
00:08:20,820 --> 00:08:22,094
because they're in areas.

146
00:08:25,980 --> 00:08:28,255
All right, Arthur, how about this?

147
00:08:28,300 --> 00:08:30,939
We have a witness to
one of the jobs.

148
00:08:30,980 --> 00:08:34,290
Would you agree to being in
a line-up so we can rule you out?

149
00:08:34,340 --> 00:08:37,059
Hey, you get paid for that
when you do a line-up, don't you?

150
00:08:37,100 --> 00:08:38,419
Not if you're a suspect.

151
00:08:38,460 --> 00:08:40,928
Well, if you ask me, you should get
more if you're a suspect.

152
00:08:40,980 --> 00:08:43,096
Star billing, obviously.

153
00:08:43,140 --> 00:08:44,414
We're not paying you.

154
00:08:44,460 --> 00:08:47,338
Well, then, I refuse to do it.

155
00:08:47,380 --> 00:08:48,449
Arthur.

156
00:08:48,500 --> 00:08:50,138
I plead Habeas Corpulent.

157
00:08:51,380 --> 00:08:52,813
Please, Arthur.

158
00:08:52,860 --> 00:08:56,011
I refuse on the grounds
I may inseminate myself.

159
00:08:59,020 --> 00:09:00,499
Have you got a fiver on you?

160
00:09:01,860 --> 00:09:04,738
I didn't abandon you.
I looked for you.

161
00:09:05,900 --> 00:09:09,336
No, he's, um, got coat and hat
and glasses.

162
00:09:10,860 --> 00:09:12,452
Er, you'd know if you'd seen him.

163
00:09:12,500 --> 00:09:14,297
He doesn't look like anybody
else on earth.

164
00:09:21,780 --> 00:09:24,738
It was never quite
the same after that.

165
00:09:28,300 --> 00:09:32,213
I'm in here! I'm in here!

166
00:09:32,260 --> 00:09:34,057
Just getting my toothbrush.

167
00:09:34,100 --> 00:09:35,692
It's all right. I'm not looking.

168
00:09:49,740 --> 00:09:51,298
No! No! No!

169
00:09:51,340 --> 00:09:54,138
No, not this. Not again.
Not Wheeler Dealers.

170
00:09:55,180 --> 00:09:57,694
Oh, fine,
we'll watch what you want to watch.

171
00:09:57,740 --> 00:09:59,617
I want to watch Game Of Thrones.

172
00:09:59,660 --> 00:10:02,538
That is all bums and dragons
is that.

173
00:10:04,020 --> 00:10:05,658
I like Wheeler Dealers.

174
00:10:05,700 --> 00:10:07,418
Well, I like bums and dragons.

175
00:10:23,940 --> 00:10:25,259
Stop doing that!

176
00:10:25,300 --> 00:10:26,300
What?

177
00:10:26,340 --> 00:10:28,854
I'm trying to watch this.
I need to get this done.

178
00:10:28,900 --> 00:10:30,094
Why now?

179
00:10:30,140 --> 00:10:33,212
Well, if you must know a close
friend of mine died

180
00:10:33,260 --> 00:10:36,855
and I promised his widow I'd prepare
the shroud for his funeral.

181
00:10:38,620 --> 00:10:39,939
A shroud?

182
00:10:41,300 --> 00:10:43,336
You make shrouds?

183
00:10:43,380 --> 00:10:46,736
Yes. It started as a hobby
and it just blossomed.

184
00:10:48,780 --> 00:10:50,498
I'm trying to watch this programme.

185
00:10:50,540 --> 00:10:52,258
I'll do it quietly.

186
00:11:02,140 --> 00:11:04,608
Stop making the shroud!

187
00:11:04,660 --> 00:11:05,775
I'm serious.

188
00:11:05,820 --> 00:11:08,288
I happen to like this programme
and I can't concentrate.

189
00:11:08,340 --> 00:11:12,049
Oh, all right.
Excuse me for trying to have a life.

190
00:11:17,780 --> 00:11:18,895
Who's she?

191
00:11:18,940 --> 00:11:20,293
That's Cersei.

192
00:11:21,500 --> 00:11:22,694
Who's he?

193
00:11:22,740 --> 00:11:24,014
Her brother.

194
00:11:29,380 --> 00:11:31,769
I thought you said
they were related!

195
00:11:31,820 --> 00:11:33,299
Yes, they are.

196
00:11:33,340 --> 00:11:36,616
How dare you bring this
filth into my home!

197
00:11:36,660 --> 00:11:38,412
It's not your home.

198
00:11:38,460 --> 00:11:40,769
I'm not going to watch another
moment of that!

199
00:11:40,820 --> 00:11:44,654
I have a good mind to get
Mary Whitehouse on to you.

200
00:11:44,700 --> 00:11:46,656
She's been dead for many,
many years, Arthur.

201
00:11:46,700 --> 00:11:49,931
I'm not surprised with filth
like this going on!

202
00:11:49,980 --> 00:11:51,698
Where are my bananas?!

203
00:11:51,740 --> 00:11:53,298
I threw them out. They'd gone off.

204
00:11:53,340 --> 00:11:55,854
I happen to like speckled-y bananas!

205
00:11:58,860 --> 00:12:01,977
And how many days
into the relationship was this?

206
00:12:02,020 --> 00:12:03,294
This was day two.

207
00:12:05,060 --> 00:12:07,574
And that was when you turned...

208
00:12:08,860 --> 00:12:09,929
...to him.

209
00:12:15,180 --> 00:12:16,738
What?

210
00:12:16,780 --> 00:12:17,780
Oh, yeah.

211
00:12:19,540 --> 00:12:23,419
Well, for me it all started when
Michael changed seats in the cafe.

212
00:12:26,020 --> 00:12:27,169
How are you, John?

213
00:12:27,220 --> 00:12:28,619
Sorry?

214
00:12:28,660 --> 00:12:30,173
How are you?

215
00:12:30,220 --> 00:12:32,176
Oh! Very well, thanks.

216
00:12:34,540 --> 00:12:37,691
Actually, do you mind
if I sit down here? Across from you?

217
00:12:37,740 --> 00:12:38,968
I suppose not.

218
00:12:44,860 --> 00:12:47,294
Wow. I've never sat here before.

219
00:12:51,220 --> 00:12:52,369
It feels weird.

220
00:12:55,060 --> 00:12:56,209
I like it.

221
00:12:58,300 --> 00:13:01,531
People don't pay much
attention to me usually.

222
00:13:01,580 --> 00:13:04,094
I suppose I was flattered.

223
00:13:07,540 --> 00:13:09,610
Such a brilliant story, John!

224
00:13:12,300 --> 00:13:14,495
It's nine to one you say?

225
00:13:14,540 --> 00:13:17,134
Ha-ha! It wasn't even one
of the favourites!

226
00:13:17,180 --> 00:13:18,295
That's right.

227
00:13:18,340 --> 00:13:21,173
Ha-ha! That's hysterical.

228
00:13:21,220 --> 00:13:22,733
Ooh, John.

229
00:13:24,340 --> 00:13:26,251
You're like a breath of fresh air.

230
00:13:29,380 --> 00:13:33,931
And why do you think it was
that you were drawn to John?

231
00:13:36,020 --> 00:13:38,739
I suppose I was getting
a little tired of Arthur.

232
00:13:40,700 --> 00:13:42,053
Just fancied a change.

233
00:13:43,260 --> 00:13:46,457
After that things just
sort of... took off.

234
00:14:03,900 --> 00:14:06,289
And that's where Eggy came in.

235
00:14:06,340 --> 00:14:08,137
Who?

236
00:14:08,180 --> 00:14:10,216
Eggy,
do you want to tell your story?

237
00:14:12,060 --> 00:14:13,618
I thought we were happy.

238
00:14:15,420 --> 00:14:16,739
That wasn't true.

239
00:14:18,540 --> 00:14:22,135
Evening classes she said
she was doing.

240
00:14:22,180 --> 00:14:25,058
No, not that Eggy.
We did that in the storeroom.

241
00:14:25,100 --> 00:14:29,013
He means when you saw Michael
and John together in that cafe.

242
00:14:29,060 --> 00:14:30,971
Oh! Oh, right.

243
00:14:32,660 --> 00:14:35,458
I told Eggy I was seeing my mother,
like you said.

244
00:14:35,500 --> 00:14:38,651
But I still don't understand
why we're sneaking around.

245
00:14:38,700 --> 00:14:41,851
Em... I don't know it just seems...
prudent.

246
00:14:43,300 --> 00:14:47,737
Oh, these buns are nice.
Nicer than Bulent's buns. Mm.

247
00:14:49,860 --> 00:14:51,293
Are you all right?

248
00:14:51,340 --> 00:14:55,094
Oh, it's just my neck. I might have
tweaked it or something.

249
00:14:55,140 --> 00:14:58,849
I just get so tense with Arthur
at home these past few days.

250
00:14:58,900 --> 00:15:00,856
Let's have a look.

251
00:15:00,900 --> 00:15:02,777
Oh, would you, John? Thank you.

252
00:15:05,260 --> 00:15:06,454
Oh, that's heavenly.

253
00:15:09,260 --> 00:15:12,411
Oh, God, John, sit down.
Sit down, quickly. John, sit down.

254
00:15:13,620 --> 00:15:18,410
Oooh, no! Oh, God. Eggy saw us.

255
00:15:18,460 --> 00:15:20,052
So?

256
00:15:20,100 --> 00:15:21,328
It's not good!

257
00:15:21,380 --> 00:15:23,211
Why?

258
00:15:23,260 --> 00:15:25,137
I don't know!

259
00:15:25,180 --> 00:15:26,579
What is going on here?

260
00:15:29,020 --> 00:15:30,214
I don't know.

261
00:15:34,340 --> 00:15:35,375
Arthur?

262
00:15:38,220 --> 00:15:39,335
Arthur?

263
00:15:41,620 --> 00:15:43,531
Oh, you're here.

264
00:15:43,580 --> 00:15:45,969
Why are you sitting in the dark?

265
00:15:46,020 --> 00:15:49,899
Because, Michael, I seem to spend
most of my time in the dark

266
00:15:49,940 --> 00:15:51,293
these days.

267
00:15:53,700 --> 00:15:54,700
What do you mean?

268
00:15:57,100 --> 00:15:58,169
Here.

269
00:15:59,660 --> 00:16:00,695
What is it?

270
00:16:00,740 --> 00:16:01,934
As if you didn't know.

271
00:16:03,620 --> 00:16:04,973
It's a betting slip.

272
00:16:06,540 --> 00:16:07,939
Your betting slip.

273
00:16:09,460 --> 00:16:11,576
Where did you find this?

274
00:16:11,620 --> 00:16:15,215
I accidentally found it whilst going
through your jacket pocket.

275
00:16:16,460 --> 00:16:19,054
You've been going through
my clothes?! How dare you!

276
00:16:19,100 --> 00:16:23,252
I had no choice, Michael.
I was frantic with worry.

277
00:16:23,300 --> 00:16:26,337
It was coming up to tea time
and you hadn't called!

278
00:16:26,380 --> 00:16:29,929
I thought there might be some clue,
some sign as to where you were.

279
00:16:29,980 --> 00:16:33,859
I had visions of your twisted,
mangled body lying in the wreckage

280
00:16:33,900 --> 00:16:35,652
of some terrible bus crash.

281
00:16:38,020 --> 00:16:40,375
But I never would have
suspected this.

282
00:16:43,380 --> 00:16:45,336
It's John, isn't it?

283
00:16:45,380 --> 00:16:47,257
What? No.

284
00:16:47,300 --> 00:16:50,133
Tell me the truth, Michael.
At least you owe me that.

285
00:16:54,220 --> 00:16:55,369
You were seen.

286
00:16:59,460 --> 00:17:00,779
So it's true.

287
00:17:02,060 --> 00:17:05,370
No, don't deny it.
Your eyes have said a mouthful.

288
00:17:06,540 --> 00:17:08,098
It's not like that.

289
00:17:08,140 --> 00:17:11,212
Then what is it like
if it's not like that?!

290
00:17:11,260 --> 00:17:12,613
Tell me, Michael!

291
00:17:12,660 --> 00:17:16,209
Because I'm struggling to see
what's going on here.

292
00:17:16,260 --> 00:17:21,459
We're just friends.
He makes me laugh. I don't know.

293
00:17:21,500 --> 00:17:24,173
It's not serious,
I could end it any time I wanted.

294
00:17:24,220 --> 00:17:27,496
No, don't tell me any more lies.

295
00:17:30,220 --> 00:17:31,414
Please leave.

296
00:17:33,900 --> 00:17:35,049
This is my flat.

297
00:17:36,940 --> 00:17:40,694
Anyway, we've had it out
and he admitted it.

298
00:17:40,740 --> 00:17:42,890
I've left now. I'm back home.

299
00:17:42,940 --> 00:17:45,056
You're too good for him, Arthur.

300
00:17:46,660 --> 00:17:49,697
The thing is, I left
all my underpants on the radiator

301
00:17:49,740 --> 00:17:51,492
in his living room.

302
00:17:51,540 --> 00:17:53,690
Do you think you could collect them
for me, Eggy?

303
00:17:53,740 --> 00:17:55,935
I haven't got the strength
to go back there.

304
00:17:55,980 --> 00:17:58,448
And I'm running short
since the underpants fire.

305
00:18:00,300 --> 00:18:01,892
Underpants fire?

306
00:18:01,940 --> 00:18:04,534
Yes, they usually follow
a trouser fire.

307
00:18:07,020 --> 00:18:10,569
You've had a terrible month, Arthur.
Of course I will.

308
00:18:14,340 --> 00:18:15,614
Oh, look out.

309
00:18:22,980 --> 00:18:24,129
What is going on?

310
00:18:24,180 --> 00:18:26,250
Ask him.

311
00:18:26,300 --> 00:18:28,370
Michael? What is going on?

312
00:18:28,420 --> 00:18:29,694
Don't ask.

313
00:18:41,180 --> 00:18:42,659
Hi, Eggy.

314
00:18:42,700 --> 00:18:43,769
Hello, Michael.

315
00:18:45,100 --> 00:18:48,297
Do you want to join me?
No, thank you.

316
00:18:48,340 --> 00:18:51,332
I'm here to arrange a mutually
favourable time wherein

317
00:18:51,380 --> 00:18:54,019
I may call to collect Arthur's
underpants.

318
00:18:56,420 --> 00:18:59,412
Oh, right... er, this afternoon
about three o'clock?

319
00:18:59,460 --> 00:19:02,372
That would be convenient.
I shall call at three.

320
00:19:10,740 --> 00:19:13,493
This isn't right.

321
00:19:13,540 --> 00:19:16,418
Look, if you all want to pretend
you're married that's one thing

322
00:19:16,460 --> 00:19:18,849
but falling out over it is
ridiculous.

323
00:19:20,660 --> 00:19:21,660
Hey!

324
00:19:23,500 --> 00:19:25,650
I saw the lights on,
I thought we were being robbed.

325
00:19:25,700 --> 00:19:27,895
Go away, Bulent,
we're doing something.

326
00:19:27,940 --> 00:19:30,408
What? Haven't you noticed
how tense it's been?

327
00:19:30,460 --> 00:19:32,815
Yes, but I like it like that.

328
00:19:32,860 --> 00:19:37,012
Listen, if there is a problem,
it's because of idiot man.

329
00:19:37,060 --> 00:19:39,699
Idiot man is the cause
of every problem.

330
00:19:39,740 --> 00:19:41,219
It's always idiot man!

331
00:19:41,260 --> 00:19:42,898
You haven't always said that.

332
00:19:42,940 --> 00:19:47,456
OK, maybe there was a moment,
just a moment,

333
00:19:47,500 --> 00:19:49,730
when the future looked bright.

334
00:19:49,780 --> 00:19:51,008
Just after we opened.

335
00:19:52,340 --> 00:19:53,898
But it didn't last long.

336
00:20:07,020 --> 00:20:09,295
Ah, hello! Welcome!

337
00:20:09,340 --> 00:20:11,012
Good day. Good day.

338
00:20:11,060 --> 00:20:12,652
What can I do for you?

339
00:20:12,700 --> 00:20:16,898
Am I right in thinking that a cafe
has opened in the area?

340
00:20:19,020 --> 00:20:21,659
Yes. This is a cafe.

341
00:20:21,700 --> 00:20:23,611
My name is Count Arthur Strong

342
00:20:23,660 --> 00:20:27,096
and I would just like to welcome you
to the neighbourhood on behalf of

343
00:20:27,140 --> 00:20:30,815
the society for... tasting food

344
00:20:30,860 --> 00:20:34,694
health and safety,
which I am the boss of.

345
00:20:34,740 --> 00:20:36,093
OK.

346
00:20:36,140 --> 00:20:37,619
To put it in layman's terms,

347
00:20:37,660 --> 00:20:41,448
we offer a service
inspecting free food.

348
00:20:41,500 --> 00:20:42,819
You want free food?

349
00:20:42,860 --> 00:20:44,896
Oh, that's very kind of you,
thank you.

350
00:20:44,940 --> 00:20:47,374
I'll have double egg and chips.

351
00:20:47,420 --> 00:20:49,729
Oh, ha-ha-ha! You're making a joke.

352
00:20:49,780 --> 00:20:51,577
Ha-ha, very good.

353
00:20:51,620 --> 00:20:56,136
Ha-ha! Yes, that's right.
That's what I'm doing.

354
00:20:57,660 --> 00:20:59,776
Just to be absolutely clear,

355
00:20:59,820 --> 00:21:02,892
is the offer of free food
still on the table?

356
00:21:02,940 --> 00:21:04,976
No, there is no offer.

357
00:21:05,020 --> 00:21:08,057
So that's withdrawn?

358
00:21:08,100 --> 00:21:09,294
What?

359
00:21:09,340 --> 00:21:10,568
The offer.

360
00:21:10,620 --> 00:21:11,814
There is no offer.

361
00:21:11,860 --> 00:21:13,976
There is no offer of what?

362
00:21:14,020 --> 00:21:15,089
Free food.

363
00:21:15,140 --> 00:21:18,052
Oh, thank you very much. I'll have
double egg and chips, please.

364
00:21:18,100 --> 00:21:19,897
I'm not offering free food.

365
00:21:31,700 --> 00:21:35,409
Idiot man! It's always idiot man.

366
00:21:40,780 --> 00:21:42,213
Who's idiot man?

367
00:21:45,340 --> 00:21:46,614
It seems to me

368
00:21:46,660 --> 00:21:49,493
that what's happened is there's been
a breakdown in trust.

369
00:21:49,540 --> 00:21:52,612
So we're going to start
with some trust exercises.

370
00:21:52,660 --> 00:21:56,016
Now, what you do is fall back
with your eyes closed and trust us

371
00:21:56,060 --> 00:21:57,459
to catch you.

372
00:22:00,580 --> 00:22:02,650
I thought you said you were going
to catch me!

373
00:22:02,700 --> 00:22:04,099
We weren't ready.

374
00:22:04,140 --> 00:22:06,608
You did that on purpose, you did!

375
00:22:06,660 --> 00:22:08,969
How was it my fault?
None of us were ready.

376
00:22:09,020 --> 00:22:11,932
Oh, I'm not doing that again.
Do a different trust exercise.

377
00:22:11,980 --> 00:22:13,095
Help me up.

378
00:22:14,180 --> 00:22:16,614
No, not you! I don't trust you.

379
00:22:16,660 --> 00:22:17,729
Eggy.

380
00:22:19,660 --> 00:22:20,809
Good start.

381
00:22:22,100 --> 00:22:24,614
All right, I'm going
to throw this tennis ball

382
00:22:24,660 --> 00:22:27,936
and if you catch it, you've got
to say one thing you regret.

383
00:22:34,420 --> 00:22:35,489
Ha-ha!

384
00:22:38,660 --> 00:22:41,094
Sorry, what are we doing again?

385
00:22:41,140 --> 00:22:44,291
If you catch the ball, you have
to say something you regret.

386
00:22:44,340 --> 00:22:46,535
I regret doing that trust exercise.

387
00:22:47,940 --> 00:22:49,419
You don't have the ball!

388
00:22:49,460 --> 00:22:51,337
I fell right on my coccyx.

389
00:22:51,380 --> 00:22:54,611
If I can't have children now
it's all your fault!

390
00:22:54,660 --> 00:22:56,252
You don't have the ball, Arthur.

391
00:22:56,300 --> 00:22:57,574
You see? You see?!

392
00:22:57,620 --> 00:22:59,338
John has the ball.

393
00:22:59,380 --> 00:23:02,099
No, don't throw it! You're supposed
to say something you regret.

394
00:23:02,140 --> 00:23:03,539
OK! I'll do it.

395
00:23:03,580 --> 00:23:05,457
Right, one thing I regret is...

396
00:23:07,980 --> 00:23:10,016
That I... I took a train once,

397
00:23:10,060 --> 00:23:12,528
and I left someone behind,

398
00:23:12,580 --> 00:23:14,536
someone I cared about very much.

399
00:23:17,340 --> 00:23:21,936
Well, thank you, Michael,
I appreciate your candour.

400
00:23:21,980 --> 00:23:23,891
But it doesn't change anything.

401
00:23:23,940 --> 00:23:29,060
I've passed a lot of water since
then... under... a bridge and I'm not

402
00:23:29,100 --> 00:23:33,252
going to jump in that and swim
upstream in a hurry... again...

403
00:23:36,580 --> 00:23:37,979
It's disgusting!

404
00:23:44,260 --> 00:23:45,773
OK, let's try this.

405
00:23:45,820 --> 00:23:48,653
You have to say four things
about each other that you like.

406
00:23:48,700 --> 00:23:50,850
That's simple enough, isn't it?
Right.

407
00:23:52,300 --> 00:23:57,738
What I like about you is, um...

408
00:23:57,780 --> 00:24:01,534
One of the things I like about...
Oh, shut up!

409
00:24:01,580 --> 00:24:04,140
Something will come to me
in a minute.

410
00:24:04,180 --> 00:24:05,374
Shall I start?

411
00:24:05,420 --> 00:24:08,059
No, I'm having my go.
Don't be so pushy.

412
00:24:08,100 --> 00:24:10,933
This would be much easier
if we could say what we didn't like.

413
00:24:10,980 --> 00:24:14,575
Can't we do that?
You're pushy, pushy, pushy, pushy.

414
00:24:14,620 --> 00:24:15,894
No! No!

415
00:24:15,940 --> 00:24:19,728
And your hair, such as it is, quite
frankly borders on the idiotic.

416
00:24:20,940 --> 00:24:23,249
Arthur!

417
00:24:23,300 --> 00:24:26,975
Oh, all right, this is silly.

418
00:24:27,020 --> 00:24:29,250
Simon, let's show them how to do it.

419
00:24:29,300 --> 00:24:31,018
What?

420
00:24:31,060 --> 00:24:33,016
How long have you been there?

421
00:24:33,060 --> 00:24:36,291
I came in around the bit where you
had the affair with John.

422
00:24:37,740 --> 00:24:39,173
Let's do this one.

423
00:24:39,220 --> 00:24:41,575
We say four things
about each other we like.

424
00:24:41,620 --> 00:24:43,736
Four things? Yep.

425
00:24:43,780 --> 00:24:46,977
Right, um... You're beautiful.

426
00:24:47,020 --> 00:24:49,056
Thanks, but... you know.

427
00:24:49,100 --> 00:24:50,328
What?

428
00:24:50,380 --> 00:24:51,574
Something a bit more...

429
00:24:53,100 --> 00:24:55,056
I don't understand.

430
00:24:55,100 --> 00:24:57,170
I hope there's something
more than that.

431
00:25:00,380 --> 00:25:03,690
Oh, come on, Sinem, it's hard when
you're put on the spot like that.

432
00:25:03,740 --> 00:25:05,731
Be fair.

433
00:25:05,780 --> 00:25:09,568
I'm sure when Simon said you're
beautiful he meant on the inside.

434
00:25:09,620 --> 00:25:13,533
You know, that you're kind and honest
and fun and loving

435
00:25:13,580 --> 00:25:18,938
and generous and open and playful
and silly and just...

436
00:25:20,260 --> 00:25:21,375
...just lovely.

437
00:25:23,860 --> 00:25:25,691
That's what you meant, isn't it?

438
00:25:25,740 --> 00:25:27,537
Yeah, and very good looking.

439
00:25:29,020 --> 00:25:31,136
Now you do me.

440
00:25:31,180 --> 00:25:32,579
What?

441
00:25:32,620 --> 00:25:35,088
Do me now.
Four things you like about me.

442
00:25:36,740 --> 00:25:42,019
OK, um, the first thing
I like about you is...

443
00:25:47,340 --> 00:25:48,819
I think we should see other people.

444
00:25:53,780 --> 00:25:54,974
One.

445
00:26:14,060 --> 00:26:16,415
Oh, hi. Come in.

446
00:26:18,500 --> 00:26:20,809
How are you? How are you feeling?

447
00:26:20,860 --> 00:26:22,213
Good.

448
00:26:22,260 --> 00:26:24,933
I'm, er... yeah.

449
00:26:27,300 --> 00:26:28,972
I like your place.

450
00:26:29,020 --> 00:26:30,772
Oh, thank you.

451
00:26:30,820 --> 00:26:33,937
Yeah, feels a bit weird
now Arthur's gone.

452
00:26:33,980 --> 00:26:35,618
Back to being a lone wolf.

453
00:26:38,460 --> 00:26:43,250
I've realised all this nonsense
over the past few weeks,

454
00:26:43,300 --> 00:26:44,528
we were just playing.

455
00:26:46,020 --> 00:26:47,578
Playing at not being alone.

456
00:26:49,980 --> 00:26:51,618
But we are alone.

457
00:26:51,660 --> 00:26:54,618
Me, Arthur, Eggy, John.

458
00:26:55,740 --> 00:26:56,934
We're all just...

459
00:26:59,020 --> 00:27:00,658
...just a bunch of Dinky Donks.

460
00:27:10,780 --> 00:27:12,657
I never did that to Dinky Donk.

461
00:27:17,180 --> 00:27:18,977
Michael! I forgot I...

462
00:27:23,460 --> 00:27:25,416
I think we should see other people.

463
00:27:34,260 --> 00:27:37,730
Ha-ha! Michael! How goes it?

464
00:27:38,820 --> 00:27:39,889
Good.

465
00:27:42,460 --> 00:27:44,212
Really good.

466
00:27:44,260 --> 00:27:49,209
I think you were absolutely right.
We should see other people.

467
00:27:49,260 --> 00:27:52,730
It's no good surrounding yourself
with the same faces every day.

468
00:27:52,780 --> 00:27:54,532
You need a bit of variety.

469
00:27:54,580 --> 00:27:56,411
Ah-ha! Here they are.

470
00:28:02,060 --> 00:28:04,016
Lovely bunch of lads.

471
00:28:04,060 --> 00:28:05,732
You're in a good mood.

472
00:28:05,780 --> 00:28:07,372
So are you.

473
00:28:07,420 --> 00:28:10,378
Yesterday was very cathartic for me

474
00:28:10,420 --> 00:28:13,378
and I realised
I take life too seriously.

475
00:28:13,420 --> 00:28:15,695
And Arthur, he's just one man.

476
00:28:16,860 --> 00:28:20,648
What can I do for you four
fine gentlemen?