1
00:00:13,880 --> 00:00:17,920
This, these, this...

2
00:00:17,920 --> 00:00:19,040
Thank you, Michael.

3
00:00:19,040 --> 00:00:21,960
Oh, please! It's a joy receiving 15 letters a day addressed to

4
00:00:21,960 --> 00:00:25,920
Arthur Strong Solutions, Arthur Strong Industries

5
00:00:25,920 --> 00:00:27,320
and Boogle.

6
00:00:27,320 --> 00:00:28,560
What's Boogle?

7
00:00:28,560 --> 00:00:32,000
It's a postal service wherein people send me questions

8
00:00:32,000 --> 00:00:35,840
and I search for answers among my extensive files.

9
00:00:35,840 --> 00:00:37,120
I charge a small fee.

10
00:00:37,120 --> 00:00:38,720
Oh, I see, so it's like Google,

11
00:00:38,720 --> 00:00:40,920
but very inconvenient and actually costs money.

12
00:00:40,920 --> 00:00:42,120
That's the idea!

13
00:00:42,120 --> 00:00:43,440
Why Boogle?

14
00:00:43,440 --> 00:00:45,400
That's the clever thing. Comes first...

15
00:00:45,400 --> 00:00:47,200
BOTH: ..in the phone book!

16
00:00:47,200 --> 00:00:49,320
Oh! I'm always one step ahead, me.

17
00:00:49,320 --> 00:00:51,480
Here.

18
00:00:51,480 --> 00:00:55,320
There's no need for that. It's not ideal for me, either.

19
00:00:55,320 --> 00:00:57,880
I'm the one that's had to have his letterbox sealed up.

20
00:00:57,880 --> 00:01:00,080
Why'd you have to do that, Arthur?

21
00:01:00,080 --> 00:01:02,280
It's private, Eggy. I'd rather not discuss it.

22
00:01:02,280 --> 00:01:04,440
I mean, what is going on here?

23
00:01:04,440 --> 00:01:08,080
Oh, that's a fruit postal service I set up a subscription to.

24
00:01:08,080 --> 00:01:13,640
Can you believe this banana made it from the other side of the world in just five weeks?

25
00:01:13,640 --> 00:01:16,600
So every time you fancy a banana, you just have to wait five weeks

26
00:01:16,600 --> 00:01:18,760
until it plops through your letterbox.

27
00:01:18,760 --> 00:01:20,560
Gosh. The modern world!

28
00:01:20,560 --> 00:01:22,080
- Good, isn't it?
- No.

29
00:01:22,080 --> 00:01:23,640
No, it's not, is it?

30
00:01:23,640 --> 00:01:25,600
I can't work out how to cancel it.

31
00:01:25,600 --> 00:01:29,240
Oh, Bulent, my good fellow, how about a cup of tea on the house

32
00:01:29,240 --> 00:01:31,920
for all my years of dedicated custom?

33
00:01:31,920 --> 00:01:34,200
This is a business! I run a cafe!

34
00:01:34,200 --> 00:01:35,600
This is a cafe!

35
00:01:35,600 --> 00:01:37,320
All right, don't go on about it.

36
00:01:37,320 --> 00:01:40,000
Dedicated custom! You do nothing for this cafe!

37
00:01:40,000 --> 00:01:42,440
You use it like an office, you bring your own food,

38
00:01:42,440 --> 00:01:44,640
you spend as little as possible!

39
00:01:44,640 --> 00:01:49,000
What the hell? You're having food posted now?

40
00:01:49,000 --> 00:01:51,160
This can't be better than my prices!

41
00:01:51,160 --> 00:01:54,880
Oh! Oh! Oh!

42
00:01:54,880 --> 00:01:57,080
Oh, God, what is this now?

43
00:01:57,080 --> 00:01:59,440
He's won a set of encyclopaedias.

44
00:01:59,440 --> 00:02:01,800
It's a jury summons!

45
00:02:01,800 --> 00:02:03,200
Close enough.

46
00:02:03,200 --> 00:02:05,120
Oh, my goodness. This is such an honour.

47
00:02:05,120 --> 00:02:08,280
All right, calm down, Meryl Streep. It's not an Oscar.

48
00:02:08,280 --> 00:02:09,720
No, but...

49
00:02:09,720 --> 00:02:13,480
it's a sacred trust. It's one of the cornerstones of our democracy.

50
00:02:13,480 --> 00:02:15,400
I've always been able to get out of it.

51
00:02:15,400 --> 00:02:17,000
Last time I was up for it,

52
00:02:17,000 --> 00:02:21,000
I managed to convince the judge I was some sort of unstable lunatic.

53
00:02:28,000 --> 00:02:30,520
Come now, Bulent, a single cup of tea!

54
00:02:30,520 --> 00:02:33,680
Michael will pay you for it when he gets back from wherever he is.

55
00:02:33,680 --> 00:02:35,080
Birdie, where's Michael gone?

56
00:02:35,080 --> 00:02:36,360
Jury service!

57
00:02:36,360 --> 00:02:39,280
God, Arthur, every few minutes you have to be told again.

58
00:02:39,280 --> 00:02:41,120
After all I've done for this cafe!

59
00:02:41,120 --> 00:02:42,640
What do you do for this cafe?

60
00:02:42,640 --> 00:02:46,920
I'm your local colour. I'm why the tourists come in.

61
00:02:47,960 --> 00:02:50,000
You are a tourist repellent!

62
00:02:51,000 --> 00:02:54,080
The last time a tourist was in here, you thought he was picking a fight!

63
00:02:54,080 --> 00:02:55,760
He kept spitting at me.

64
00:02:55,760 --> 00:02:57,000
He was Dutch.

65
00:02:58,680 --> 00:03:02,000
Oh, well, yes, hindsight is a wonderful thing, isn't it?

66
00:03:02,000 --> 00:03:04,840
Isn't it, Michael? Where's Michael gone? Birdie?

67
00:03:04,840 --> 00:03:06,240
Argh!

68
00:03:06,240 --> 00:03:07,680
Afternoon, all.

69
00:03:07,680 --> 00:03:09,040
Oh, thank God.

70
00:03:09,040 --> 00:03:11,480
There he is, Postman Pat.

71
00:03:11,480 --> 00:03:14,360
Don't start calling me Postman Pat. I'm doing you a favour!

72
00:03:14,360 --> 00:03:16,640
You still haven't told us, Arthur -

73
00:03:16,640 --> 00:03:19,040
why did you have to seal up your letterbox?

74
00:03:19,040 --> 00:03:20,600
Well, Eggy, if you must know,

75
00:03:20,600 --> 00:03:24,120
I caught a dog watching me through it when I was in my underpants.

76
00:03:25,760 --> 00:03:27,560
Remember the good old days, Arthur,

77
00:03:27,560 --> 00:03:29,560
when you could just leave your front door open?

78
00:03:29,560 --> 00:03:31,840
These days it's just perverted dogs.

79
00:03:33,240 --> 00:03:36,040
I had me Kevins on. Maybe that was it.

80
00:03:36,040 --> 00:03:37,240
Your Kevins?

81
00:03:37,240 --> 00:03:38,360
Kevin Kleins.

82
00:03:40,480 --> 00:03:43,760
They're underpants which I'm told are quite fashionable.

83
00:03:45,120 --> 00:03:46,720
You wear Calvin Kleins?

84
00:03:46,720 --> 00:03:49,200
Kevin, Michael. Kevin Kleins.

85
00:03:49,200 --> 00:03:52,320
They wouldn't do Calvin Kleins at the market.

86
00:03:52,320 --> 00:03:55,160
About a week ago I bought three dozen pairs along with

87
00:03:55,160 --> 00:04:00,400
a Carol Lagerfeld coat and a hat designed by Victor Beckham.

88
00:04:01,680 --> 00:04:04,080
Sinem? Can I get your opinion?

89
00:04:04,080 --> 00:04:07,400
Do you think this jumper says, "I respect the law"?

90
00:04:07,400 --> 00:04:10,000
It actually does.

91
00:04:10,000 --> 00:04:13,400
Michael, you're doing a good thing, but you need to calm down a bit.

92
00:04:13,400 --> 00:04:17,360
I'm just excited. You should see the courtroom - it's very intimidating.

93
00:04:17,360 --> 00:04:20,320
And have you seen a judge up close? They're much bigger than you think.

94
00:04:20,320 --> 00:04:23,600
No, they just sit high up.

95
00:04:23,600 --> 00:04:27,440
I think the judge and I have some sort of silent rapport.

96
00:04:27,440 --> 00:04:31,200
It's like he knows I'd be a good judge if I wanted to be a judge.

97
00:04:31,200 --> 00:04:33,520
I think you have to be a lawyer first.

98
00:04:33,520 --> 00:04:35,120
Oh, yeah.

99
00:04:35,120 --> 00:04:37,800
Eh! Pay for me. Pay for me tea.

100
00:04:41,680 --> 00:04:43,080
What's the magic word?

101
00:04:43,080 --> 00:04:44,160
"Now."

102
00:04:45,880 --> 00:04:48,720
Er, no. No. I don't think so.

103
00:04:48,720 --> 00:04:49,800
What?

104
00:04:49,800 --> 00:04:52,120
No. Sorry, Arthur. I'm not doing it any more.

105
00:04:54,200 --> 00:04:57,880
How dare you withhold money from Bulent?

106
00:04:57,880 --> 00:05:00,560
If there's one thing the last couple of days have taught me,

107
00:05:00,560 --> 00:05:02,440
it's that we're all part of a magical,

108
00:05:02,440 --> 00:05:06,040
interlocking mechanism that I like to call "society".

109
00:05:06,040 --> 00:05:09,400
And society only works if we are all pulling our weight.

110
00:05:09,400 --> 00:05:12,680
Otherwise, you're just like a dog peeping through a letterbox,

111
00:05:12,680 --> 00:05:14,920
trying to get something for nothing.

112
00:05:19,720 --> 00:05:23,600
Well. It appears we have reached an impasse.

113
00:05:25,600 --> 00:05:28,160
QUIET MUTTERING

114
00:05:34,480 --> 00:05:42,480
QUIET TALKING CONTINUES

115
00:06:03,640 --> 00:06:07,520
Oh, I'm going to have to live with that for the rest of my life.

116
00:06:07,520 --> 00:06:10,720
He's a judge. You're in the jury.

117
00:06:10,720 --> 00:06:14,600
You're not besties. You're not peers.

118
00:06:14,600 --> 00:06:15,840
I want to kill myself.

119
00:06:15,840 --> 00:06:18,080
Oh, please don't. I can't be single again.

120
00:06:19,680 --> 00:06:26,000
Michael, I loved what you said yesterday about society.

121
00:06:26,000 --> 00:06:30,240
What a beautiful way of putting it. The mechanism. Yes.

122
00:06:30,240 --> 00:06:34,000
In contemplating it, I felt very like Professor Brian Cox does

123
00:06:34,000 --> 00:06:38,200
when he looks at a dinosaur or some salt.

124
00:06:40,120 --> 00:06:42,600
I'm going to think about the bigger picture,

125
00:06:42,600 --> 00:06:45,680
because we're all part of something bigger.

126
00:06:45,680 --> 00:06:48,480
It really, really does make you think.

127
00:06:50,840 --> 00:06:52,840
So...

128
00:06:52,840 --> 00:06:55,000
could I have a cup of tea now?

129
00:06:56,080 --> 00:06:58,400
- Go on, then. 
- Cup of tea, please, Bulent!

130
00:06:58,400 --> 00:07:01,080
NOISE LIKE TAPPING ON GLASS

131
00:07:01,080 --> 00:07:03,320
Oh! That's my phone!

132
00:07:03,320 --> 00:07:04,800
Hugely annoying.

133
00:07:04,800 --> 00:07:09,120
Well, I didn't choose it! This is you messing with my settings again!

134
00:07:09,120 --> 00:07:12,440
People think I'm about to make a speech every time I get a text.

135
00:07:12,440 --> 00:07:13,640
I didn't mean to do that.

136
00:07:13,640 --> 00:07:16,520
I was just trying to sort out your sodding ring tone.

137
00:07:16,520 --> 00:07:20,160
Radiating chimes. You should be ashamed of yourself!

138
00:07:20,160 --> 00:07:22,160
Just leave my phone alone!

139
00:07:22,160 --> 00:07:24,440
I can't connect to the internet any more.

140
00:07:24,440 --> 00:07:26,920
Last night I was woken up by a U2 album.

141
00:07:28,200 --> 00:07:30,280
How did you get my passcode, anyway?

142
00:07:30,280 --> 00:07:34,160
Guessing 4321 does not make me a criminal masterchef.

143
00:07:36,320 --> 00:07:40,200
Would it be a bad time to ask for my post?

144
00:07:42,760 --> 00:07:45,040
TAPPING NOISE

145
00:07:46,480 --> 00:07:48,480
I am not making a speech!

146
00:07:49,760 --> 00:07:52,280
Oh, here, Michael! This is one of yours!

147
00:07:52,280 --> 00:07:54,960
Oh, no, leave it, Eggy. I'll give it him later on.

148
00:07:54,960 --> 00:07:57,760
I see you've got your tea privileges reinstated.

149
00:07:57,760 --> 00:08:00,440
Ah, Michael, he always comes good in the end.

150
00:08:00,440 --> 00:08:04,640
There's nothing he wouldn't do for me. Ooh, ooh. What was that?

151
00:08:04,640 --> 00:08:06,400
Oh! Y'all right, Arthur?

152
00:08:06,400 --> 00:08:10,920
Oooh, I've got a funny warm feeling in my stomach.

153
00:08:10,920 --> 00:08:13,760
And somehow, it seems to be connected with Michael.

154
00:08:13,760 --> 00:08:17,760
Oh, I know what that is. That's an emotion called gratitude, Arthur,

155
00:08:17,760 --> 00:08:20,280
and most humans would have that.

156
00:08:20,280 --> 00:08:23,800
Oh! Ooh, it's lovely.

157
00:08:25,680 --> 00:08:28,920
It reminds me of when I was trying to get Michael to get me

158
00:08:28,920 --> 00:08:32,160
a cup of tea when I was banging on about Brian Cox.

159
00:08:32,160 --> 00:08:36,960
It's that sort of feeling. I'd call it a Brian Cox rush.

160
00:08:38,160 --> 00:08:40,520
Well, you were making a lot of sense back there,

161
00:08:40,520 --> 00:08:43,360
even if you were just trying to get a cup of tea out of him.

162
00:08:43,360 --> 00:08:47,560
Ooh, now I'm getting a sort of horrible opposite feeling.

163
00:08:47,560 --> 00:08:50,240
Like someone's thrown salt on Brian Cox.

164
00:08:51,400 --> 00:08:52,880
That's called guilt.

165
00:08:52,880 --> 00:08:59,800
How do I get rid of the salty Brian Cox feeling and get the dinosaur one back?

166
00:08:59,800 --> 00:09:02,000
Maybe you could do something nice for Michael.

167
00:09:02,000 --> 00:09:03,240
I see!

168
00:09:03,240 --> 00:09:07,280
Um...you could pay him a visit at the courtroom and give him a boost!

169
00:09:07,280 --> 00:09:09,480
Great idea!

170
00:09:09,480 --> 00:09:11,680
No, Arthur, he won't want that.

171
00:09:11,680 --> 00:09:13,920
Oh, come on, Eggy - don't be so selfish.

172
00:09:13,920 --> 00:09:16,400
What could make him happier than looking up

173
00:09:16,400 --> 00:09:19,120
and seeing a row of friendly faces?

174
00:09:20,200 --> 00:09:22,160
Well, now you put it like that...

175
00:09:22,160 --> 00:09:26,000
Yeah, that's why they have seats, you know, so everyone can go and cheer.

176
00:09:26,000 --> 00:09:29,160
It'll be like going to the films for free.

177
00:09:29,160 --> 00:09:31,560
We'd only have to pay for ice creams and drinks.

178
00:09:31,560 --> 00:09:33,200
I'm in!

179
00:09:33,200 --> 00:09:34,880
What about you, John - are you coming?

180
00:09:34,880 --> 00:09:36,480
There might be a juicy case on.

181
00:09:36,480 --> 00:09:39,680
Like a murder or maybe they've caught a witch.

182
00:09:40,960 --> 00:09:42,240
I better not, Arthur.

183
00:09:42,240 --> 00:09:43,640
Why not, John?

184
00:09:43,640 --> 00:09:46,440
Well, Birdie, in my youth,

185
00:09:46,440 --> 00:09:49,800
I fell in with a lot of bad apples and I wouldn't want them

186
00:09:49,800 --> 00:09:53,240
to see me in a courthouse and think that I've turned grass.

187
00:09:53,240 --> 00:09:56,040
Oh, John, what are the chances of that happening?

188
00:09:56,040 --> 00:09:58,160
If you're not in a firm and you're sitting

189
00:09:58,160 --> 00:10:02,360
in a courthouse... It's just not a very good look, Arthur.

190
00:10:02,360 --> 00:10:04,840
Oh, come on, stop thinking about yourself, John.

191
00:10:04,840 --> 00:10:07,040
We're all part of something bigger!

192
00:10:07,040 --> 00:10:10,640
Let's go and make this an unforgettable day for Michael!

193
00:10:13,240 --> 00:10:14,840
This'll be the one.

194
00:10:14,840 --> 00:10:17,120
Are you sure this is the right courthouse?

195
00:10:17,120 --> 00:10:19,000
I am, Birdie. He'll be in this one.

196
00:10:19,000 --> 00:10:21,160
Oh, look, the circus is in town...

197
00:10:21,160 --> 00:10:25,840
Oh, this feels good, doesn't it? I feel a warm glow.

198
00:10:25,840 --> 00:10:28,360
You're doing something nice for someone, Arthur.

199
00:10:28,360 --> 00:10:29,920
That's the feeling you get!

200
00:10:29,920 --> 00:10:31,240
Is it?

201
00:10:36,880 --> 00:10:39,520
Look, there's Michael.

202
00:10:39,520 --> 00:10:41,360
There you are!

203
00:10:42,720 --> 00:10:44,720
Good luck, Michael!

204
00:10:44,720 --> 00:10:46,560
With you all the way, Michael!

205
00:10:46,560 --> 00:10:49,240
Could I have silence in my courtroom, please?

206
00:10:49,240 --> 00:10:51,000
Shush!

207
00:10:52,880 --> 00:10:56,000
Oh, look, it's the accused.

208
00:10:56,000 --> 00:10:57,680
Boooooo!

209
00:10:57,680 --> 00:11:00,640
Hang on a minute, Birdie - we don't know if he's guilty or not yet.

210
00:11:00,640 --> 00:11:02,880
Ah. Yay!

211
00:11:02,880 --> 00:11:04,200
Good luck, son!

212
00:11:04,200 --> 00:11:07,960
Right! Right, who said that? Who's making all that noise?

213
00:11:10,240 --> 00:11:12,320
The gentleman in the, eh, in the raincoat.

214
00:11:12,320 --> 00:11:14,560
Can I have him removed, please?

215
00:11:14,560 --> 00:11:17,560
What, me? Why? I haven't done anything!

216
00:11:20,800 --> 00:11:22,720
DOOR CLOSES

217
00:11:24,160 --> 00:11:25,800
What are you doing?

218
00:11:25,800 --> 00:11:28,000
We just wanted to give you a bit of support.

219
00:11:28,000 --> 00:11:29,360
It's not a football match!

220
00:11:29,360 --> 00:11:31,920
All right, all right, we're going.

221
00:11:31,920 --> 00:11:34,680
Oh, here, there was one for you in that pile of post.

222
00:11:34,680 --> 00:11:36,360
You must have got it mixed up.

223
00:11:36,360 --> 00:11:38,640
- OK. Give it to me. 
- I've got it here somewhere.

224
00:11:38,640 --> 00:11:41,040
'Allo, John!

225
00:11:42,400 --> 00:11:43,880
Ron?

226
00:11:43,880 --> 00:11:46,760
What brings you here today? You been a naughty boy?

227
00:11:46,760 --> 00:11:49,920
Oh, nah, nah, it's just, eh... What's going on with you?

228
00:11:49,920 --> 00:11:51,680
Well, they brought Big Frank in.

229
00:11:51,680 --> 00:11:53,840
Big Frank? I didn't know he was out.

230
00:11:53,840 --> 00:11:55,440
Yeah, they got him for GBH.

231
00:11:55,440 --> 00:11:57,640
Somehow they got a witness to appear.

232
00:11:57,640 --> 00:11:59,240
You know, had him behind a screen.

233
00:11:59,240 --> 00:12:01,600
Did something with his voice so you couldn't recognise him.

234
00:12:01,600 --> 00:12:04,840
- Oh, yeah?
- Yeah. What did you say you were here for again?

235
00:12:04,840 --> 00:12:06,160
Hello, John.

236
00:12:06,160 --> 00:12:07,360
Hello, Don.

237
00:12:07,360 --> 00:12:10,040
- What are you doing here?
- Well, that's what I've been asking him.

238
00:12:10,040 --> 00:12:11,400
Didn't expect to see you here.

239
00:12:11,400 --> 00:12:12,680
That's what I've been thinking.

240
00:12:12,680 --> 00:12:14,920
Hope you haven't turned grass. Ha-ha.

241
00:12:14,920 --> 00:12:17,720
Nah! You know me, boys.

242
00:12:17,720 --> 00:12:20,080
I'm, eh, working for another outfit now.

243
00:12:20,080 --> 00:12:22,080
Oh, yeah? Who's running it?

244
00:12:24,280 --> 00:12:27,120
Arthur The Hat. That's him over there.

245
00:12:34,880 --> 00:12:39,040
Oh, right. Good to see you, anyway, John.

246
00:12:39,040 --> 00:12:43,880
Yeah, good to see you, boys!

247
00:12:45,160 --> 00:12:46,880
See you later!

248
00:12:48,920 --> 00:12:50,800
You see where he's off to.

249
00:12:58,200 --> 00:12:59,440
Hello, Stef.

250
00:12:59,440 --> 00:13:02,240
Can you get me CID? They might want to have a look at this.

251
00:13:04,640 --> 00:13:06,240
Do you believe him?

252
00:13:06,240 --> 00:13:09,560
Well, I don't think he's a grass, Mr Duncan...

253
00:13:09,560 --> 00:13:11,280
though he did join another firm.

254
00:13:11,280 --> 00:13:13,080
What did he say his name was again?

255
00:13:13,080 --> 00:13:14,200
Arthur The Hat.

256
00:13:14,200 --> 00:13:15,680
Arthur The Hat.

257
00:13:16,880 --> 00:13:18,440
Never heard of him.

258
00:13:18,440 --> 00:13:20,200
Well, he's some sort of operator.

259
00:13:21,320 --> 00:13:26,400
Yeah, got a good look at him, oiling up a juror from another trial.

260
00:13:27,920 --> 00:13:30,680
I'm a little insulted.

261
00:13:30,680 --> 00:13:37,560
John told me he was going straight and now here you are telling me he's got a new best friend.

262
00:13:38,880 --> 00:13:42,000
I thought I was his best friend.

263
00:13:42,000 --> 00:13:46,320
Well, with respect, Mr Duncan, it looks like things have changed.

264
00:13:46,320 --> 00:13:47,760
Have they now?

265
00:13:53,040 --> 00:13:54,520
Yes.

266
00:14:06,360 --> 00:14:09,560
Here you are, mate - you've dropped a tenner.

267
00:14:13,760 --> 00:14:19,360
Ooooooh! Oooooh!

268
00:14:30,280 --> 00:14:32,560
Oooh!

269
00:14:32,560 --> 00:14:37,160
Ooooh!

270
00:14:37,160 --> 00:14:40,400
Well, I do apologise for that interruption and perhaps

271
00:14:40,400 --> 00:14:44,600
I should give some explanation about what has just transpired.

272
00:14:44,600 --> 00:14:50,600
There are three conditions by which a charge like this may be considered successful.

273
00:14:50,600 --> 00:14:52,720
First condition...

274
00:14:52,720 --> 00:14:54,800
- ARTHUR'S VOICE:
- 'Ring tone. It's under ring tone.

275
00:14:54,800 --> 00:14:57,160
'You shouldn't be messing with his phone, Arthur.

276
00:14:57,160 --> 00:14:59,400
'Bloody radiating chimes.

277
00:14:59,400 --> 00:15:04,000
'But that's not highlighted! "Record your own" is highlighted.

278
00:15:04,000 --> 00:15:05,800
'Ooh, here comes Michael.

279
00:15:05,800 --> 00:15:08,240
'I'll take it into the toilet and fix it in there.

280
00:15:10,040 --> 00:15:13,440
'Now I'm in the toilet, I might as well make the best of it.

281
00:15:15,000 --> 00:15:18,240
'Oooh, lovely warm seat. Someone must have just left it.

282
00:15:19,760 --> 00:15:25,480
'Ooh, actually, this feels like it's going to be a painful one.

283
00:15:25,480 --> 00:15:28,280
'Better hold on to the sides...'

284
00:15:33,760 --> 00:15:35,560
Here you go, Eggy.

285
00:15:35,560 --> 00:15:39,120
- What's this?
- It's a list of tools I'm hoping to get a lend of.

286
00:15:39,120 --> 00:15:41,840
I'm removing a tree from her-next-door's garden.

287
00:15:41,840 --> 00:15:43,280
Ooh, I tell you what, Eggy,

288
00:15:43,280 --> 00:15:46,320
I can't get enough of being lovely to people.

289
00:15:46,320 --> 00:15:48,520
I'm getting a massive buzz off of it.

290
00:15:48,520 --> 00:15:50,640
Oh, use a toothpick, will you?

291
00:15:50,640 --> 00:15:53,120
Oh. What's this say?

292
00:15:53,120 --> 00:15:54,400
"Tramps"?

293
00:15:54,400 --> 00:15:57,280
Tramps? Bin bags! Can't you read?

294
00:15:57,280 --> 00:15:58,520
"Squadron."

295
00:15:58,520 --> 00:16:00,280
Handsaw.

296
00:16:00,280 --> 00:16:01,600
"Pending."

297
00:16:01,600 --> 00:16:02,680
Shovel!

298
00:16:02,680 --> 00:16:04,600
It's your writing, Arthur!

299
00:16:04,600 --> 00:16:06,920
Oh, I'll just tell you - you write it down.

300
00:16:06,920 --> 00:16:08,080
COUGHING

301
00:16:08,080 --> 00:16:09,120
You all right?

302
00:16:10,320 --> 00:16:14,120
Just something's gone down the wrong way. I'll be all right.

303
00:16:16,360 --> 00:16:17,480
Hm-mm.

304
00:16:17,480 --> 00:16:19,280
What is it?

305
00:16:19,280 --> 00:16:22,200
These guys are no good. Look. Like they own the place.

306
00:16:22,200 --> 00:16:23,880
Can I help you?

307
00:16:23,880 --> 00:16:26,320
Might as well do some business while we're here.

308
00:16:26,320 --> 00:16:30,000
Yeah, actually. Oh - hello, darling.

309
00:16:30,000 --> 00:16:32,400
SHE LAUGHS LOUDLY

310
00:16:36,040 --> 00:16:37,720
Something's struck her as funny.

311
00:16:37,720 --> 00:16:39,960
I said, can I help you?

312
00:16:39,960 --> 00:16:42,880
Yeah, well, we're doing a neighbourhood watch scheme, you know,

313
00:16:42,880 --> 00:16:45,680
keeping an eye on some of the businesses in the area.

314
00:16:45,680 --> 00:16:48,800
Thought you might like to contribute a small amount to cover our expenses.

315
00:16:48,800 --> 00:16:51,160
Right. We'll need an axe...

316
00:16:51,160 --> 00:16:53,080
Axe...

317
00:16:53,080 --> 00:16:56,160
Biggest one they've got. One you can really get hold of.

318
00:16:56,160 --> 00:16:58,080
Yeah, yeah, I've got you.

319
00:16:58,080 --> 00:16:59,200
Are you sure, mate?

320
00:16:59,200 --> 00:17:01,320
I mean, it's not much money for peace of mind.

321
00:17:01,320 --> 00:17:04,840
I think we're OK, "mate".

322
00:17:04,840 --> 00:17:06,400
A good sharp saw.

323
00:17:06,400 --> 00:17:08,840
OK. What's that for?

324
00:17:08,840 --> 00:17:10,840
You can't get rid of it all at once.

325
00:17:10,840 --> 00:17:14,640
We'll have to saw the limbs off, bring it all out in pieces.

326
00:17:14,640 --> 00:17:17,280
I like the way you're thinking.

327
00:17:17,280 --> 00:17:20,200
Oh! Binbags! We don't want to leave any mess.

328
00:17:20,200 --> 00:17:23,280
Yeah, yeah. I've done this before, Arthur.

329
00:17:24,680 --> 00:17:25,840
Psst, Ron.

330
00:17:25,840 --> 00:17:26,960
What?

331
00:17:32,160 --> 00:17:33,800
You know those guys?

332
00:17:33,800 --> 00:17:37,600
What guys? Ooh, and I want to get her a little present.

333
00:17:37,600 --> 00:17:41,120
How about some lovely chrysanthemums?

334
00:17:41,120 --> 00:17:43,400
Will you have a drink?

335
00:17:45,680 --> 00:17:47,720
He's the real deal, Mr Duncan.

336
00:17:48,920 --> 00:17:50,720
Is he now?

337
00:17:55,160 --> 00:17:56,600
Yes.

338
00:17:59,520 --> 00:18:03,320
I want to meet him, see what he's made of.

339
00:18:03,320 --> 00:18:04,800
Bring him over.

340
00:18:04,800 --> 00:18:06,000
What if he says no?

341
00:18:07,080 --> 00:18:09,640
Take young Bobby with you.

342
00:18:09,640 --> 00:18:11,000
But, Mr Duncan,

343
00:18:11,000 --> 00:18:13,720
this is me new suit. Can I at least go home and change?

344
00:18:13,720 --> 00:18:15,840
No, leave it on.

345
00:18:15,840 --> 00:18:18,920
It'll encourage you not to lose the head too much.

346
00:18:20,040 --> 00:18:23,840
We'll see. Come on, boys.

347
00:18:30,840 --> 00:18:32,160
There it is.

348
00:18:32,160 --> 00:18:35,440
Silly boy. Yeah, we've got one.

349
00:18:38,120 --> 00:18:40,880
Eggy, I've got something for you.

350
00:18:45,240 --> 00:18:46,680
Do you want this?

351
00:18:46,680 --> 00:18:49,240
Your fly rod? But that's your favourite, Arthur!

352
00:18:49,240 --> 00:18:51,600
I know! I can't help myself, Eggy!

353
00:18:51,600 --> 00:18:53,200
Arthur, you've got to face it,

354
00:18:53,200 --> 00:18:56,800
you're addicted to feeling like Brian Cox when he looks at things.

355
00:18:56,800 --> 00:18:59,880
You're right. I'm chasing that Brian Cox feeling.

356
00:18:59,880 --> 00:19:03,680
Helping old ladies across the street just doesn't do it for me any more.

357
00:19:03,680 --> 00:19:06,320
Everyone's talking about how you've changed.

358
00:19:06,320 --> 00:19:08,240
I'm worried about you, Arthur.

359
00:19:08,240 --> 00:19:10,880
I can handle it, Eggy! I can quit any time I want.

360
00:19:10,880 --> 00:19:12,920
Anyway, take it! Take the rod!

361
00:19:12,920 --> 00:19:15,400
Take it! Ooooooh.

362
00:19:15,400 --> 00:19:18,120
No! I don't want to be a part of this!

363
00:19:18,120 --> 00:19:21,440
Ooooh! Oooooh!

364
00:19:21,440 --> 00:19:23,400
Which one? The geezer with the hat?

365
00:19:23,400 --> 00:19:25,320
Yeah, that's him over there.

366
00:19:25,320 --> 00:19:27,280
Oi. You Arthur?

367
00:19:27,280 --> 00:19:32,400
Oh! Look at what you've gone and done!

368
00:19:32,400 --> 00:19:35,400
Hold still! You're just making it worse!

369
00:19:35,400 --> 00:19:37,600
Eggy! Get me the disgorger!

370
00:19:37,600 --> 00:19:40,400
It's gone behind a molar - I can see it!

371
00:19:40,400 --> 00:19:43,240
- SCREAMS 
- I'm going to be able to get that out.

372
00:19:46,160 --> 00:19:47,720
Go, go!

373
00:19:48,720 --> 00:19:50,520
We just wanted to talk!

374
00:19:51,600 --> 00:19:54,240
Yeah, that's right - you'd better run!

375
00:20:09,560 --> 00:20:10,840
Michael Baker?

376
00:20:10,840 --> 00:20:11,880
Yes?

377
00:20:11,880 --> 00:20:14,720
I'm arresting you on suspicion of perverting the course of justice.

378
00:20:14,720 --> 00:20:17,200
You do not have to say anything but it may harm your defence

379
00:20:17,200 --> 00:20:20,640
if you do not mention when questioned something you later rely on in court.

380
00:20:20,640 --> 00:20:22,880
Anything you do say may be given in evidence.

381
00:20:22,880 --> 00:20:24,080
What?

382
00:20:24,080 --> 00:20:25,720
- Sir.
- Come on, sir.

383
00:20:25,720 --> 00:20:28,720
Oh, my God! Is this really happening?

384
00:20:28,720 --> 00:20:31,080
This is really happening!

385
00:20:31,080 --> 00:20:32,960
How is this really happening?

386
00:20:34,080 --> 00:20:35,920
Is this really happening?

387
00:20:36,960 --> 00:20:39,280
I just... I just wanted to be good!

388
00:20:43,320 --> 00:20:47,680
No, no, no, no! No! No! No, that's Arthur!

389
00:20:47,680 --> 00:20:48,920
You know him, do you?

390
00:20:48,920 --> 00:20:51,680
Yes! He was just giving me my post!

391
00:20:51,680 --> 00:20:54,080
It was just a bloody pizza menu in the end!

392
00:20:54,080 --> 00:20:56,640
A pizza menu in an envelope?

393
00:20:56,640 --> 00:20:58,240
Yes!

394
00:20:59,360 --> 00:21:00,880
I don't know why they do it!

395
00:21:00,880 --> 00:21:04,200
You see, Baker, we've been looking into your Mr Strong.

396
00:21:04,200 --> 00:21:07,680
It seems he's been causing some ripples in the exciting world of organised crime.

397
00:21:07,680 --> 00:21:10,680
Organised crime? Arthur?

398
00:21:10,680 --> 00:21:13,120
Arthur couldn't organise anything!

399
00:21:13,120 --> 00:21:15,840
Well, if that's the case, you won't mind doing us a little favour.

400
00:21:15,840 --> 00:21:18,480
Well, yes. Yes, yes, of course.

401
00:21:18,480 --> 00:21:20,960
Just have a little visit with your friend,

402
00:21:20,960 --> 00:21:23,360
ask him how his week's been, get the gossip.

403
00:21:24,680 --> 00:21:26,320
A wire!

404
00:21:26,320 --> 00:21:28,840
You want me to wear a wire and speak to Arthur?

405
00:21:28,840 --> 00:21:30,960
You're looking at seven years otherwise.

406
00:21:30,960 --> 00:21:32,640
Seven years what?

407
00:21:32,640 --> 00:21:34,520
Well, prison.

408
00:21:36,640 --> 00:21:38,920
I could go to prison!

409
00:22:02,800 --> 00:22:05,120
Look at him in his Carol Lagerfeld coat.

410
00:22:18,680 --> 00:22:20,120
I am entering the cafe.

411
00:22:28,200 --> 00:22:30,640
I am sitting in the cafe.

412
00:22:36,800 --> 00:22:38,160
Michael, sit!

413
00:22:40,200 --> 00:22:42,080
Approaching target.

414
00:22:47,600 --> 00:22:49,680
So, what's been going on?

415
00:22:49,680 --> 00:22:51,400
Eh?

416
00:22:51,400 --> 00:22:54,000
Cos, um...I haven't been around a lot, have I?

417
00:22:54,000 --> 00:22:56,600
So whatever's happening's nothing to do with me.

418
00:22:56,600 --> 00:22:57,960
Whatever's going on.

419
00:22:57,960 --> 00:22:59,600
What you on about?

420
00:22:59,600 --> 00:23:02,800
Why did you come to the court to see me? Remember?

421
00:23:02,800 --> 00:23:07,360
Oh, that was just to show my appreciation for all you do for me.

422
00:23:11,400 --> 00:23:12,640
No...

423
00:23:12,640 --> 00:23:17,600
So much you do. It's just my way of saying thank you.

424
00:23:17,600 --> 00:23:18,760
Stop it.

425
00:23:18,760 --> 00:23:22,760
No, no, I won't stop it! This is the new me, Michael.

426
00:23:22,760 --> 00:23:26,200
I'm nice now! I just want to be nice to everyone!

427
00:23:26,200 --> 00:23:27,600
He's onto us.

428
00:23:32,600 --> 00:23:34,080
Shift.

429
00:23:34,080 --> 00:23:36,800
Sorry, we're in the middle of something.

430
00:23:36,800 --> 00:23:40,040
I'm going to sit over there now because I want to suddenly.

431
00:23:42,840 --> 00:23:44,680
You think you're an operator.

432
00:23:44,680 --> 00:23:49,440
Big man around town, everybody knows your name. Passing out favours.

433
00:23:49,440 --> 00:23:51,280
Friend of the community.

434
00:23:51,280 --> 00:23:54,040
Is that Eddie Duncan? That's Eddie Duncan.

435
00:23:54,040 --> 00:23:57,480
Very clever. I like it.

436
00:23:57,480 --> 00:23:59,520
Oh, thank you very much.

437
00:24:01,480 --> 00:24:04,920
But I want you to understand something.

438
00:24:04,920 --> 00:24:07,240
You are a bug to me.

439
00:24:07,240 --> 00:24:10,240
I could crush you just by shifting my weight.

440
00:24:11,280 --> 00:24:14,480
Sorry, who did you say you were again?

441
00:24:14,480 --> 00:24:16,400
His name's Eddie Duncan! Mr Eddie Duncan!

442
00:24:16,400 --> 00:24:19,880
Calm down. There's no need for bedlam.

443
00:24:19,880 --> 00:24:24,120
After all, you've already showed me what you're capable of.

444
00:24:26,200 --> 00:24:29,880
And we've both too much at stake to start a war.

445
00:24:29,880 --> 00:24:32,000
Things are going well for me at the moment.

446
00:24:32,000 --> 00:24:34,800
Money's rolling in. I've even got a judge on the payroll.

447
00:24:34,800 --> 00:24:36,400
Ah! A judge?

448
00:24:38,960 --> 00:24:40,920
What's his name?

449
00:24:42,440 --> 00:24:44,520
Is he all right?

450
00:24:44,520 --> 00:24:45,800
He's all right.

451
00:24:47,120 --> 00:24:49,120
Clayton.

452
00:24:49,120 --> 00:24:50,840
That's my judge!

453
00:24:50,840 --> 00:24:53,280
Since when? That's our judge!

454
00:24:55,760 --> 00:24:57,560
I'm going to make you an offer.

455
00:24:58,720 --> 00:25:00,760
Just a goodwill gesture.

456
00:25:00,760 --> 00:25:02,560
You'd be wise to accept.

457
00:25:02,560 --> 00:25:05,760
Oh, I see. You want to give me something?

458
00:25:05,760 --> 00:25:10,200
Ah-ha! You're like me! You're trying to get that buzz!

459
00:25:10,200 --> 00:25:11,360
Do what?

460
00:25:11,360 --> 00:25:15,200
That Brian Cox feeling. I completely understand.

461
00:25:15,200 --> 00:25:16,920
It's highly addictive, isn't it?

462
00:25:16,920 --> 00:25:18,720
I don't know what you're talking about.

463
00:25:18,720 --> 00:25:20,640
Oh, I'm sorry - I didn't mean to interrupt.

464
00:25:20,640 --> 00:25:22,120
What did you want to give me?

465
00:25:22,120 --> 00:25:23,520
Territory.

466
00:25:23,520 --> 00:25:28,080
I'm willing to let you have everything between Lennox Street and Mount Street.

467
00:25:28,080 --> 00:25:32,280
Everything between Lennox Street and Mount Street? Is that all yours?

468
00:25:32,280 --> 00:25:34,720
Yeah. And now I'm giving it to you.

469
00:25:34,720 --> 00:25:37,040
Even the Specsavers?

470
00:25:38,320 --> 00:25:39,480
Yeah.

471
00:25:39,480 --> 00:25:40,760
And the travel agent's?

472
00:25:41,920 --> 00:25:43,240
Yes, all of it.

473
00:25:43,240 --> 00:25:46,320
I own a Specsavers and a travel agent's?

474
00:25:46,320 --> 00:25:48,240
Well...

475
00:25:48,240 --> 00:25:50,240
That's very generous of you!

476
00:25:50,240 --> 00:25:53,920
Oooooh, ooooh, you must be suffering a massive explosion in your head!

477
00:25:54,920 --> 00:25:56,960
Take it or leave it.

478
00:25:56,960 --> 00:26:01,600
I'll take it! And now I'm going to give it all away!

479
00:26:01,600 --> 00:26:05,960
Don't, Arthur - it's too generous! Your system can't take it!

480
00:26:07,160 --> 00:26:09,080
I don't care, Eggy! I'm going for it!

481
00:26:09,080 --> 00:26:11,360
Birdie, do you want a couple of roads?

482
00:26:11,360 --> 00:26:13,800
I don't know how but somehow I own them.

483
00:26:13,800 --> 00:26:15,440
They're yours if you want them.

484
00:26:15,440 --> 00:26:18,160
Oh, um, all right!

485
00:26:18,160 --> 00:26:22,280
Whoooaaaaaaahhhhhh! Ooh, this is the best one yet!

486
00:26:22,280 --> 00:26:29,800
Oooooh! Ooooooh! Ooooooh! Ooooooh! Ooooooh!

487
00:26:37,960 --> 00:26:39,800
We did this.

488
00:26:39,800 --> 00:26:41,600
We did this!

489
00:26:41,600 --> 00:26:43,960
We're going to put away a real bad guy!

490
00:26:43,960 --> 00:26:46,840
I still don't really know what happened there.

491
00:26:48,720 --> 00:26:51,640
Where's John? I haven't seen him for a few days.

492
00:26:51,640 --> 00:26:53,840
Good morning, sir. How can I help you?

493
00:26:53,840 --> 00:26:55,760
One ticket to Uruguay.

494
00:26:57,280 --> 00:27:00,040
Oh, I suppose you want payment for that?

495
00:27:00,040 --> 00:27:01,240
It's on the house.

496
00:27:02,920 --> 00:27:05,040
Any chance of a biscuit?

497
00:27:11,560 --> 00:27:18,760
And then in the course of this, you learned Judge Clayton was, as they say, in the pocket of Eddie Duncan?

498
00:27:19,840 --> 00:27:21,440
That's right.

499
00:27:21,440 --> 00:27:23,600
The same Judge Clayton you see here today?

500
00:27:23,600 --> 00:27:25,960
Yes. That's him, there.