1 00:00:00,968 --> 00:00:03,734 * 2 00:00:08,434 --> 00:00:11,767 * you won't admit you love me * 3 00:00:11,767 --> 00:00:13,534 * and so * 4 00:00:13,534 --> 00:00:16,234 * how am i ever * 5 00:00:16,234 --> 00:00:18,033 * to know * 6 00:00:18,033 --> 00:00:20,667 * you always tell me * 7 00:00:20,667 --> 00:00:24,133 * perhaps, perhaps, perhaps * 8 00:00:25,200 --> 00:00:27,267 * perhaps * 9 00:00:27,267 --> 00:00:29,601 * perhaps * 10 00:00:29,601 --> 00:00:31,133 * perhaps * 11 00:00:34,400 --> 00:00:36,334 So you're really going to do it? 12 00:00:36,334 --> 00:00:38,634 Oh, yeah. This time. 13 00:00:42,267 --> 00:00:44,067 Did he say what he wanted? 14 00:00:44,067 --> 00:00:45,400 Not a word. 15 00:00:46,567 --> 00:00:49,801 Maybe he's going to propose. 16 00:00:49,801 --> 00:00:52,067 Do you think she knows you're going to dump her? 17 00:00:52,067 --> 00:00:53,434 She ought to know by now. 18 00:00:53,434 --> 00:00:55,968 I've dumped her the last four times i've seen her. 19 00:00:55,968 --> 00:00:58,334 So what goes wrong? 20 00:00:58,334 --> 00:01:00,634 We have sex. 21 00:01:00,634 --> 00:01:01,868 You have sex? 22 00:01:01,868 --> 00:01:03,067 She makes me. 23 00:01:03,067 --> 00:01:04,968 How? 24 00:01:04,968 --> 00:01:07,067 She suggests it. 25 00:01:08,334 --> 00:01:09,567 She suggests it? 26 00:01:09,567 --> 00:01:11,067 Exactly. 27 00:01:12,501 --> 00:01:14,000 Evil. 28 00:01:16,667 --> 00:01:19,501 You said you had a fantastic time last weekend. 29 00:01:19,501 --> 00:01:22,434 Maybe he's thinking, you know... 30 00:01:22,434 --> 00:01:25,167 one swallow doesn't make a summer. 31 00:01:26,767 --> 00:01:28,601 Last time i dumped her, 32 00:01:28,601 --> 00:01:32,968 We had amazing, fantastic, borderline-Illegal sex. 33 00:01:32,968 --> 00:01:34,868 Now she thinks we're back on. 34 00:01:34,868 --> 00:01:36,067 Well, that's ridiculous. 35 00:01:36,067 --> 00:01:39,901 I know. One swallow does not make her my girlfriend. 36 00:01:41,067 --> 00:01:43,767 Maybe you should marry him. 37 00:01:43,767 --> 00:01:45,767 It's not like that. It's very casual. 38 00:01:45,767 --> 00:01:48,968 It's really just sex with a fringe of conversation. 39 00:01:48,968 --> 00:01:51,467 But what if he's your last ever man? 40 00:01:51,467 --> 00:01:53,400 What if you've used up your goes? 41 00:01:53,400 --> 00:01:55,400 Remember, every morning 42 00:01:55,400 --> 00:01:59,300 Your face has slipped a little bit more. 43 00:02:00,767 --> 00:02:02,901 Since 30 i've had to put a daily limit 44 00:02:02,901 --> 00:02:04,901 On facial expressions. 45 00:02:04,901 --> 00:02:08,934 I only ever smile at single men, 46 00:02:08,934 --> 00:02:11,434 So i can justify the loss of elasticity. 47 00:02:11,434 --> 00:02:14,968 Is this how your mind works all the time? 48 00:02:14,968 --> 00:02:16,467 The only reason i work 49 00:02:16,467 --> 00:02:18,634 Is so i stop worrying about my hair. 50 00:02:18,634 --> 00:02:20,434 And this from my beautician. 51 00:02:20,434 --> 00:02:23,934 Which reminds me-- Facial, wednesday evening. 52 00:02:23,934 --> 00:02:26,267 Just don't count every time you find a wrinkle. 53 00:02:26,267 --> 00:02:28,033 Do i do that out loud? 54 00:02:28,033 --> 00:02:31,100 You've got a running total in my file. 55 00:02:31,100 --> 00:02:33,467 Sally, does it ever occur to you 56 00:02:33,467 --> 00:02:37,667 That age brings wisdom and greater confidence? 57 00:02:37,667 --> 00:02:41,567 Susan, age brings you more to shave. 58 00:02:44,300 --> 00:02:45,534 So you dump her, 59 00:02:45,534 --> 00:02:48,133 And then she does this suggesting thing? 60 00:02:48,133 --> 00:02:49,567 Yeah. 61 00:02:49,567 --> 00:02:51,167 I'll be just about to leave. 62 00:02:51,167 --> 00:02:53,634 I'll be thinking that i am finally out. 63 00:02:53,634 --> 00:02:55,834 She just leans over, looks me in the eyes, 64 00:02:55,834 --> 00:02:59,334 And goes, "i'm wearing stockings." 65 00:02:59,334 --> 00:03:00,934 No! 66 00:03:00,934 --> 00:03:02,667 She's never worn them before, 67 00:03:02,667 --> 00:03:04,667 Not once in the entire relationship. 68 00:03:04,667 --> 00:03:06,968 I begged. 69 00:03:06,968 --> 00:03:11,133 Yeah, but, steve, you're entitled to her stockings. 70 00:03:11,133 --> 00:03:12,434 Am i? 71 00:03:12,434 --> 00:03:14,234 Yes, you're still in the zone. 72 00:03:14,234 --> 00:03:15,234 The what? 73 00:03:15,234 --> 00:03:16,434 The boyfriend zone. 74 00:03:16,434 --> 00:03:18,601 This is the tailing-Off period. 75 00:03:18,601 --> 00:03:20,968 You've still got a load of stuff at her flat. 76 00:03:20,968 --> 00:03:23,400 You might still have a wedding to go to together. 77 00:03:23,400 --> 00:03:25,834 You're under joint headings in your friends' address books. 78 00:03:25,834 --> 00:03:28,200 And that means i'm entitled to see her underwear? 79 00:03:28,200 --> 00:03:31,567 If it comes up. That's the rules of the zone. 80 00:03:31,567 --> 00:03:34,267 Good luck in there, steve. 81 00:03:34,267 --> 00:03:37,033 You're a strange and disturbing man, jeff. 82 00:03:37,033 --> 00:03:39,934 Thank you. 83 00:03:39,934 --> 00:03:43,100 Steve, do you know what i call this kind of woman? 84 00:03:43,100 --> 00:03:46,400 You know, the type you can't get rid of? 85 00:03:46,400 --> 00:03:49,100 Is this going to be really tasteless? 86 00:03:49,100 --> 00:03:51,567 Am i going to be ashamed to be your friend? 87 00:03:51,567 --> 00:03:54,634 It's a technical term. It's a harmless expression. 88 00:03:56,567 --> 00:03:59,434 All right. Hit me. 89 00:03:59,434 --> 00:04:01,701 Unflushable. 90 00:04:01,701 --> 00:04:03,501 Turn around, jeff. Walk away. 91 00:04:03,501 --> 00:04:05,100 Because they keep bobbing around. 92 00:04:05,100 --> 00:04:06,801 Go, jeff, go! 93 00:04:06,801 --> 00:04:08,000 Go. 94 00:04:09,701 --> 00:04:11,834 Don't look back. Go. 95 00:04:19,934 --> 00:04:22,767 Hi, patrick. Hi, susan. 96 00:04:25,067 --> 00:04:26,200 Hi, steve. 97 00:04:27,234 --> 00:04:28,601 Jane. 98 00:04:32,200 --> 00:04:35,033 And my sister said no, so i said yes. 99 00:04:35,033 --> 00:04:37,334 Then she said no again, so i just said yes. 100 00:04:37,334 --> 00:04:39,868 But then she said no. So i said yes, yes, yes. 101 00:04:39,868 --> 00:04:42,167 How does this story end exactly? 102 00:04:42,167 --> 00:04:44,300 She said i had an answer for everything. 103 00:04:44,300 --> 00:04:46,100 Right. 104 00:04:46,100 --> 00:04:48,267 And i just said, "yes!" 105 00:04:48,267 --> 00:04:49,701 Jane! 106 00:04:49,701 --> 00:04:53,000 Okay, listen to me, okay? 107 00:04:53,000 --> 00:04:55,000 I know i've tried to say this before, 108 00:04:55,000 --> 00:04:57,701 And i know i never seem to get anywhere, 109 00:04:57,701 --> 00:04:59,534 But this time, jane, 110 00:04:59,534 --> 00:05:03,100 I am going to put it very, very simply. 111 00:05:04,534 --> 00:05:06,801 It's over between us. 112 00:05:10,701 --> 00:05:12,400 You want us to split up? 113 00:05:12,400 --> 00:05:14,834 Yes. Oh, yes, i do. 114 00:05:16,501 --> 00:05:17,567 I don't accept. 115 00:05:17,567 --> 00:05:19,167 What? 116 00:05:19,167 --> 00:05:20,667 I don't accept it. 117 00:05:20,667 --> 00:05:23,000 No, no, you can't not accept it. 118 00:05:23,000 --> 00:05:24,133 I'm breaking up with you. 119 00:05:24,133 --> 00:05:26,834 Don't i get a say in it? Of course you don't. 120 00:05:26,834 --> 00:05:29,334 If i don't get a say, then i don't accept it. 121 00:05:29,334 --> 00:05:31,367 Anyway, then my sister just looked at me 122 00:05:31,367 --> 00:05:33,968 And she said no, no, no. 123 00:05:36,267 --> 00:05:38,033 Mary kelly does not fancy you. 124 00:05:38,033 --> 00:05:40,334 I can tell from the way she acts around me 125 00:05:40,334 --> 00:05:41,434 She finds me attractive. 126 00:05:41,434 --> 00:05:43,367 Is there any form of female behavior 127 00:05:43,367 --> 00:05:45,434 You don't interpret as finding you attractive? 128 00:05:45,434 --> 00:05:47,634 It's never really come up. 129 00:05:49,067 --> 00:05:50,868 If you two are finished, 130 00:05:50,868 --> 00:05:53,033 I thought you wanted to speak to me. 131 00:05:53,033 --> 00:05:55,167 Yeah. Yeah, i do. 132 00:05:55,167 --> 00:05:56,968 Could you give us a minute? 133 00:06:00,801 --> 00:06:03,467 Mary kelly thinks you're a complete idiot. 134 00:06:03,467 --> 00:06:06,033 Why does she keep looking at my arse when we're talking? 135 00:06:06,033 --> 00:06:08,200 She's lip-Reading. 136 00:06:12,133 --> 00:06:14,000 ( Clears throat ) 137 00:06:15,968 --> 00:06:17,868 We need to talk. 138 00:06:17,868 --> 00:06:19,367 Sure. 139 00:06:19,367 --> 00:06:21,801 About our relationship. 140 00:06:21,801 --> 00:06:23,400 ( Sighs ) 141 00:06:23,400 --> 00:06:24,767 I'm just starting to think 142 00:06:24,767 --> 00:06:26,701 It's all getting a bit hot and heavy 143 00:06:26,701 --> 00:06:30,534 And we both need to back off and cool down. 144 00:06:30,534 --> 00:06:32,567 You know, maybe we should just both think about 145 00:06:32,567 --> 00:06:34,534 Where everything's going and whether we're starting 146 00:06:34,534 --> 00:06:38,567 To commit more than we intend to or... 147 00:06:38,567 --> 00:06:40,234 or want to. 148 00:06:40,234 --> 00:06:42,534 What relationship? 149 00:06:44,667 --> 00:06:47,167 And then my sister said, "absolutely not," 150 00:06:47,167 --> 00:06:49,167 So i said, "absolutely yes." 151 00:06:49,167 --> 00:06:52,701 It doesn't matter whether you accept it or not. 152 00:06:52,701 --> 00:06:55,133 It's over. You're dumped. 153 00:06:58,801 --> 00:07:02,834 Look, um, it's not you, okay? 154 00:07:04,400 --> 00:07:05,434 It's me. 155 00:07:07,200 --> 00:07:09,434 Then why am i the one that's getting dumped? 156 00:07:09,434 --> 00:07:12,501 You should be the one that gets dumped. 157 00:07:12,501 --> 00:07:16,968 Exactly, it's all my fault. So dump me. 158 00:07:19,367 --> 00:07:21,434 No! 159 00:07:21,434 --> 00:07:23,200 What? 160 00:07:23,200 --> 00:07:25,701 We can work on your problems. 161 00:07:27,567 --> 00:07:29,067 I can't believe you! 162 00:07:29,067 --> 00:07:31,267 Well, i didn't mean to hurt your feelings. 163 00:07:31,267 --> 00:07:33,567 I just never saw it as a relationship as such. 164 00:07:33,567 --> 00:07:36,634 I just thought we were having a bit of fun, a bit of sex. 165 00:07:36,634 --> 00:07:38,701 Well, yeah, i mean, that's what i thought. 166 00:07:38,701 --> 00:07:42,167 I mean, that's pretty much the way i see it. 167 00:07:42,167 --> 00:07:44,267 Well, there you are, then. Yeah. 168 00:07:44,267 --> 00:07:48,200 I mean, it's not as if we're being faithful or anything. 169 00:07:50,400 --> 00:07:51,834 Oops. 170 00:07:51,834 --> 00:07:54,834 You've got to let me out, please. 171 00:07:54,834 --> 00:07:58,834 Look, why don't we give it a year? 172 00:08:00,400 --> 00:08:02,067 Because if we give it a year, 173 00:08:02,067 --> 00:08:03,701 I will end up horribly murdering you 174 00:08:03,701 --> 00:08:05,467 And hacking up your body. 175 00:08:06,767 --> 00:08:09,767 Okay. How long do you suggest? 176 00:08:09,767 --> 00:08:11,534 ( Sighs ) 177 00:08:11,534 --> 00:08:13,667 I'm so sorry. I had no idea. 178 00:08:13,667 --> 00:08:14,868 It's fine. 179 00:08:14,868 --> 00:08:16,934 We were only seeing each other once a week. 180 00:08:16,934 --> 00:08:18,534 That's not exactly a sex life. 181 00:08:20,100 --> 00:08:24,634 You must have been doing a lot of solo flights. 182 00:08:24,634 --> 00:08:26,534 No, i wasn't! Oh, come on! 183 00:08:26,534 --> 00:08:29,334 I certainly was not. I was saving it all up for you. 184 00:08:29,334 --> 00:08:30,534 No, really? 185 00:08:31,868 --> 00:08:34,133 Oops. 186 00:08:35,133 --> 00:08:37,267 Some relationships are supposed to end. 187 00:08:37,267 --> 00:08:38,467 There are some relationships 188 00:08:38,467 --> 00:08:40,634 That the world is better off without. 189 00:08:40,634 --> 00:08:42,234 Remember crippen? 190 00:08:42,234 --> 00:08:45,501 Here we go-- Bring up crippen again. 191 00:08:45,501 --> 00:08:47,767 You seem to forget the crippens enjoyed 192 00:08:47,767 --> 00:08:51,567 Many happy years of marriage before he murdered her. 193 00:08:51,567 --> 00:08:53,067 Please listen to me. 194 00:08:53,067 --> 00:08:55,400 They didn't just give up. They worked at it. 195 00:08:55,400 --> 00:08:57,868 That's the real lesson of the crippens. 196 00:08:57,868 --> 00:09:01,734 He killed her and was hanged for her murder. 197 00:09:01,734 --> 00:09:04,968 Well, yes, eventually. 198 00:09:06,167 --> 00:09:08,868 Look, i'm not saying it wasn't good. 199 00:09:08,868 --> 00:09:11,200 I'm just saying it didn't seem like a week's worth. 200 00:09:13,501 --> 00:09:17,067 Oh, no, don't look like that. 201 00:09:17,067 --> 00:09:19,167 Not everyone has my level of sex drive. 202 00:09:19,167 --> 00:09:21,067 I mean, for a start, you're a bloke-- 203 00:09:21,067 --> 00:09:23,567 All right. All right. 204 00:09:23,567 --> 00:09:24,968 I wasn't going to say anything, 205 00:09:24,968 --> 00:09:28,601 But actually i've been seeing someone else, too. 206 00:09:28,601 --> 00:09:31,200 You've been cheating on me? 207 00:09:32,767 --> 00:09:33,901 What? 208 00:09:33,901 --> 00:09:35,000 Is this true, patrick? 209 00:09:35,000 --> 00:09:36,067 But you were cheating on me. 210 00:09:36,067 --> 00:09:37,167 I wasn't cheating-- 211 00:09:37,167 --> 00:09:38,367 I wasn't being faithful. 212 00:09:38,367 --> 00:09:39,701 You were being faithful, 213 00:09:39,701 --> 00:09:41,100 And that means you were cheating. 214 00:09:41,100 --> 00:09:43,167 And i thought i knew you. 215 00:09:44,534 --> 00:09:47,300 Do you know what i'm going do? 216 00:09:47,300 --> 00:09:49,300 I'm going to walk out of here. 217 00:09:49,300 --> 00:09:51,000 And whether you accept it or not, 218 00:09:51,000 --> 00:09:53,734 I am never going to speak to you or see you again. 219 00:09:53,734 --> 00:09:55,133 That is it, over. 220 00:09:55,133 --> 00:09:56,367 Steve, we've just-- 221 00:09:56,367 --> 00:09:58,467 Don't start suggesting things 222 00:09:58,467 --> 00:10:00,300 Or telling me what you're wearing. 223 00:10:00,300 --> 00:10:02,601 Or doing the thing with your breasts. 224 00:10:02,601 --> 00:10:03,901 I'm going. 225 00:10:03,901 --> 00:10:05,634 I just wanted you to know something. 226 00:10:05,634 --> 00:10:06,834 It's not going to work. 227 00:10:06,834 --> 00:10:08,934 I experienced a passionate connection with you 228 00:10:08,934 --> 00:10:11,601 That i've never encountered before. Not listening. 229 00:10:11,601 --> 00:10:13,868 I've never known lovemaking so electric. 230 00:10:13,868 --> 00:10:16,133 No, it's having no effect. 231 00:10:16,133 --> 00:10:18,567 Except perhaps once with arthur. 232 00:10:18,567 --> 00:10:21,601 You know, the night before he left for the gulf. 233 00:10:21,601 --> 00:10:24,801 There is no level of cheap manipulation 234 00:10:24,801 --> 00:10:26,534 That will work, jane. 235 00:10:26,534 --> 00:10:29,968 And maybe a couple of times with elizabeth. 236 00:10:34,334 --> 00:10:36,467 Hey, steve. Guess who? 237 00:10:36,467 --> 00:10:38,734 Listen, there's something i forgot to tell you 238 00:10:38,734 --> 00:10:41,934 About the--Steve? 239 00:10:44,400 --> 00:10:45,801 Steve, are you all right? 240 00:10:47,167 --> 00:10:49,634 I was this close. 241 00:10:51,868 --> 00:10:53,667 Evil. 242 00:10:54,667 --> 00:10:56,467 Susan? Hey. 243 00:10:56,467 --> 00:10:57,801 Jeff, hi. 244 00:10:57,801 --> 00:11:00,801 You never told me about elizabeth. 245 00:11:00,801 --> 00:11:03,067 Well, you know i've had relationships with other women. 246 00:11:03,067 --> 00:11:04,534 No, you never told me that. 247 00:11:04,534 --> 00:11:06,400 Not once in the entire relationship. 248 00:11:06,400 --> 00:11:07,601 I begged! 249 00:11:09,234 --> 00:11:10,801 Well, it's too late now. 250 00:11:10,801 --> 00:11:12,400 No! I'm still in the zone! 251 00:11:14,667 --> 00:11:15,834 This is patrick, 252 00:11:15,834 --> 00:11:18,033 And this is jeff, who works in my office. 253 00:11:18,033 --> 00:11:20,634 Hi, right. Good to meet you. 254 00:11:22,367 --> 00:11:25,734 So how do you know susan, then? 255 00:11:25,734 --> 00:11:27,501 She just dumped him. 256 00:11:27,501 --> 00:11:28,734 Oh, great. 257 00:11:28,734 --> 00:11:31,133 Oh, sounds like my cue for a loo break. 258 00:11:31,133 --> 00:11:32,734 Excuse me a sec. 259 00:11:32,734 --> 00:11:35,334 So, dumped and still here, eh? 260 00:11:35,334 --> 00:11:38,834 So you're an unflushable. 261 00:11:40,868 --> 00:11:42,834 Oh! Oh! 262 00:11:54,300 --> 00:11:58,868 Um, isn't this the ladies'? 263 00:11:58,868 --> 00:12:04,234 Sorry. Just, um, just washing my hands. 264 00:12:04,234 --> 00:12:08,234 Mm-Hmm. And the money's for? 265 00:12:08,234 --> 00:12:11,200 You get these free in the ladies'? 266 00:12:11,200 --> 00:12:13,400 Apparently. 267 00:12:13,400 --> 00:12:16,000 Yeah, um... 268 00:12:16,000 --> 00:12:18,634 well, i think in terms of humiliating myself 269 00:12:18,634 --> 00:12:20,033 In front of a complete stranger, 270 00:12:20,033 --> 00:12:21,901 This couldn't get much more embarrassing, could it? 271 00:12:21,901 --> 00:12:25,033 So how are you these days, steve? 272 00:12:25,033 --> 00:12:27,334 Great. 273 00:12:27,334 --> 00:12:29,834 We met at my office party. 274 00:12:29,834 --> 00:12:31,601 Jeff invited you, i think. 275 00:12:31,601 --> 00:12:33,300 And you spent the whole evening 276 00:12:33,300 --> 00:12:36,100 Arguing with some woman about crippen. 277 00:12:38,334 --> 00:12:40,200 Yeah, i was rather insulted. 278 00:12:40,200 --> 00:12:43,834 I seem to remember i was trying to chat you up at the time. 279 00:12:43,834 --> 00:12:45,634 Oh. 280 00:12:45,634 --> 00:12:49,167 So, have you seen that woman recently? 281 00:12:55,467 --> 00:12:57,100 Define "recently." 282 00:12:57,100 --> 00:13:01,167 Okay, look, i'd better-- No, no, hang on. 283 00:13:01,167 --> 00:13:06,767 Maybe we could, you know, meet up sometime. 284 00:13:06,767 --> 00:13:09,534 Well, yeah. You know where i work. 285 00:13:09,534 --> 00:13:10,734 Jeff's got my number. 286 00:13:10,734 --> 00:13:13,367 Nothing to stop you from calling me. 287 00:13:13,367 --> 00:13:14,767 Great. 288 00:13:14,767 --> 00:13:16,400 Great. 289 00:13:18,033 --> 00:13:19,968 Where are you going? 290 00:13:19,968 --> 00:13:21,234 In there. 291 00:13:21,234 --> 00:13:23,767 Why? What are you going to do? 292 00:13:23,767 --> 00:13:26,868 That's not a level of detail most people look for. 293 00:13:26,868 --> 00:13:31,200 Sorry. Um, still using it. 294 00:13:31,200 --> 00:13:32,868 What? 295 00:13:32,868 --> 00:13:35,701 Haven't finished. 296 00:13:35,701 --> 00:13:36,901 I was on a break. 297 00:13:38,834 --> 00:13:42,167 What, you popped out to wash your hands during your-- 298 00:13:42,167 --> 00:13:43,467 Yes. 299 00:13:44,634 --> 00:13:46,367 It's been a tricky one. 300 00:13:51,200 --> 00:13:52,767 Oh! Oh! 301 00:13:55,400 --> 00:13:57,367 Look, look, 302 00:13:57,367 --> 00:14:00,033 I don't think this is such a good idea anymore. 303 00:14:00,033 --> 00:14:03,467 Oh, you're just getting all confused again. 304 00:14:03,467 --> 00:14:07,534 I'll tell you what. I'll take my clothes off. 305 00:14:07,534 --> 00:14:10,501 No, no, no, no. That's not going to work. 306 00:14:10,501 --> 00:14:12,501 Whatever you might think, whatever everybody might think, 307 00:14:12,501 --> 00:14:15,801 It just so happens i'm not completely--Shaved! 308 00:14:15,801 --> 00:14:17,601 I mean shallow! 309 00:14:22,467 --> 00:14:25,534 Your friend steve-- Is he all right? 310 00:14:25,534 --> 00:14:30,000 Yeah, yeah, he's having a bit of trouble at the moment. 311 00:14:30,000 --> 00:14:31,834 He's got an unflushable. 312 00:14:31,834 --> 00:14:35,901 Oh. Oh, i see. You mean he can't-- 313 00:14:35,901 --> 00:14:38,234 No, no, not so much can't. He won't. 314 00:14:39,467 --> 00:14:40,734 He won't? 315 00:14:40,734 --> 00:14:43,801 At the last minute he gets all sentimental. 316 00:14:51,200 --> 00:14:54,100 So, back on your own again, eh? 317 00:14:54,100 --> 00:14:55,133 Back out there. 318 00:14:55,133 --> 00:14:56,133 You're smiling at me. 319 00:14:56,133 --> 00:14:58,901 I don't think i've ever seen that. 320 00:14:58,901 --> 00:15:00,801 You're a single man now. 321 00:15:00,801 --> 00:15:04,033 You qualify for my elasticity. 322 00:15:06,067 --> 00:15:07,968 Is that as good as it sounds? 323 00:15:09,901 --> 00:15:12,734 ( Moaning ) 324 00:15:14,467 --> 00:15:18,467 Mayday! Mayday! They're all over me! 325 00:15:22,000 --> 00:15:25,234 How well do you know susan? Are you close? 326 00:15:25,234 --> 00:15:29,701 Close? I've got her cycle in my organizer. 327 00:15:29,701 --> 00:15:32,467 Wait, are you thinking of asking her out? 328 00:15:32,467 --> 00:15:35,400 I've already, kind of. Why, is it a problem? 329 00:15:35,400 --> 00:15:37,267 What, have you and her, you know? 330 00:15:37,267 --> 00:15:39,934 Oh, yeah, well, we gave it a try, you know, 331 00:15:39,934 --> 00:15:41,734 But it was a long time ago. 332 00:15:41,734 --> 00:15:44,434 Didn't really work out. I think i made her nervous. 333 00:15:44,434 --> 00:15:46,701 That's understandable. 334 00:15:47,767 --> 00:15:50,334 So you managed to finish with jane, then? 335 00:15:52,033 --> 00:15:54,801 ( Moaning ) 336 00:15:54,801 --> 00:15:56,434 Define "finish." 337 00:15:56,434 --> 00:15:59,801 Oh, steve, have you finished with jane? 338 00:15:59,801 --> 00:16:01,267 Are you out of the zone? 339 00:16:01,267 --> 00:16:04,133 If you ask susan out while you are still seeing jane, 340 00:16:04,133 --> 00:16:07,133 That could be a problem later. 341 00:16:07,133 --> 00:16:11,033 So, where were you zone-Wise with jane 342 00:16:11,033 --> 00:16:12,300 When you asked susan out? 343 00:16:14,534 --> 00:16:18,868 Well, you know, pretty much...in there. 344 00:16:18,868 --> 00:16:21,367 Yeah, yeah, but where exactly? 345 00:16:21,367 --> 00:16:23,868 You know, like middle, edge... 346 00:16:23,868 --> 00:16:25,234 during. 347 00:16:25,234 --> 00:16:26,467 During? 348 00:16:28,334 --> 00:16:29,701 During? 349 00:16:29,701 --> 00:16:31,667 It's not as bad as it sounds. 350 00:16:31,667 --> 00:16:33,467 I was in the toilet cubicle with jane. 351 00:16:33,467 --> 00:16:36,334 When i was nipping out to get a condom, i asked out susan. 352 00:16:39,467 --> 00:16:41,300 The zone has a new king. 353 00:16:43,167 --> 00:16:45,701 But you will rule alone. 354 00:16:52,868 --> 00:16:53,968 Jeff. 355 00:16:53,968 --> 00:16:56,067 Hello. 356 00:16:56,067 --> 00:16:59,634 That, uh, that steve guy-- 357 00:16:59,634 --> 00:17:02,167 How well do you know him? Are you close? 358 00:17:02,167 --> 00:17:04,767 Close? We're porn buddies. 359 00:17:04,767 --> 00:17:07,033 Porn buddies? Oh, yeah. Yeah. 360 00:17:07,033 --> 00:17:09,167 Is this code? 361 00:17:09,167 --> 00:17:11,834 Were you two in prison together or something? 362 00:17:11,834 --> 00:17:15,067 No, no, no, it's a safety precaution. 363 00:17:15,067 --> 00:17:17,334 You know, like a scuba diver dives with a buddy 364 00:17:17,334 --> 00:17:18,934 In case he runs out of air. 365 00:17:18,934 --> 00:17:21,033 Okay, so are you telling me 366 00:17:21,033 --> 00:17:23,701 That a porn buddy stands by with oxygen? 367 00:17:23,701 --> 00:17:26,267 ( Laughing ) no. 368 00:17:26,267 --> 00:17:30,367 Um, many years ago 369 00:17:30,367 --> 00:17:33,934 Steve and i exchanged house keys. 370 00:17:33,934 --> 00:17:36,767 Are you sure this isn't code? It's not code. 371 00:17:36,767 --> 00:17:40,601 In the event of steve's death, the first thing i will do, 372 00:17:40,601 --> 00:17:43,334 Upset though i will be, 373 00:17:43,334 --> 00:17:46,200 Is go straight to his house and remove all the pornography 374 00:17:46,200 --> 00:17:48,234 Before his parents can find it. 375 00:17:48,234 --> 00:17:49,334 You're kidding. 376 00:17:49,334 --> 00:17:51,334 And he's pledged to do the same for me. 377 00:17:51,334 --> 00:17:52,901 That's how close we are. 378 00:17:52,901 --> 00:17:54,934 You guys have seriously made arrangements 379 00:17:54,934 --> 00:17:56,501 To destroy your dirty mags? 380 00:17:56,501 --> 00:17:58,267 Who said destroy? 381 00:17:58,267 --> 00:17:59,667 Remove. 382 00:17:59,667 --> 00:18:02,634 Yeah, but you wouldn't keep them, would you? 383 00:18:02,634 --> 00:18:05,367 Well, it's a perk. 384 00:18:05,367 --> 00:18:06,501 Oh, jeff. 385 00:18:06,501 --> 00:18:08,467 That's the beauty of it, you see. 386 00:18:08,467 --> 00:18:12,367 Your best friend's dead, but there's a bright side. 387 00:18:12,367 --> 00:18:15,400 You're trying to put me off him, aren't you? 388 00:18:15,400 --> 00:18:16,400 No way. 389 00:18:16,400 --> 00:18:19,267 Why would i do that? 390 00:18:19,267 --> 00:18:21,000 I know it was a long time ago, 391 00:18:21,000 --> 00:18:23,634 But, um, you and me? 392 00:18:23,634 --> 00:18:27,767 Yeah, well, that didn't really work out, did it? 393 00:18:27,767 --> 00:18:30,133 I'll never understand why i made you so nervous. 394 00:18:30,133 --> 00:18:32,767 I've never seen anyone look so terrified. 395 00:18:32,767 --> 00:18:37,934 It's all in the past, that. Please forget about it. 396 00:18:37,934 --> 00:18:39,534 ( Phone rings ) 397 00:18:39,534 --> 00:18:40,934 Hello? 398 00:18:40,934 --> 00:18:43,133 Oh, talk of the devil. Hi, steve. 399 00:18:44,801 --> 00:18:49,701 No,just talking about you with jeff, your buddy. 400 00:18:49,701 --> 00:18:51,667 Um, tomorrow evening? 401 00:18:51,667 --> 00:18:53,767 Tomorrow evening would be fine, yes. 402 00:18:53,767 --> 00:18:55,501 May have to be a bit later. 403 00:18:55,501 --> 00:18:57,234 I'm supposed to be having a facial. 404 00:18:57,234 --> 00:19:02,434 Okay, and then we can have a good long chat about jeff. 405 00:19:09,133 --> 00:19:10,534 ( Phone rings ) 406 00:19:12,601 --> 00:19:16,434 Hello, this is jane. Sorry i'm not here. 407 00:19:16,434 --> 00:19:19,000 I'm out of the zone. I am finally out. 408 00:19:19,000 --> 00:19:21,667 ( Beep ) 409 00:19:21,667 --> 00:19:23,067 Jane, hi, this is steve. 410 00:19:23,067 --> 00:19:26,434 Um, look, there's something i've been trying to say, 411 00:19:26,434 --> 00:19:30,367 And i think by now you know what it is. 412 00:19:30,367 --> 00:19:32,701 So just listen. 413 00:19:32,701 --> 00:19:36,667 You are a beautiful, sexy, highly intelligent woman, 414 00:19:36,667 --> 00:19:38,667 And a man would have to be insane 415 00:19:38,667 --> 00:19:41,667 Not to want to spend the rest of his life with you. 416 00:19:41,667 --> 00:19:45,367 This message tape is now full. Please hang up. 417 00:19:45,367 --> 00:19:48,400 This tape message is now full. Please hang up. 418 00:19:54,367 --> 00:19:57,868 Jeff, i'm going on a date. Why are you following me? 419 00:19:57,868 --> 00:20:00,400 I just think you might need a few last-Minute pointers. 420 00:20:00,400 --> 00:20:01,734 Jeff. 421 00:20:01,734 --> 00:20:05,133 Um, here's a pointer from me-- 422 00:20:05,133 --> 00:20:07,734 This is dinner for two. 423 00:20:19,434 --> 00:20:21,534 Quality. Nice. 424 00:20:21,534 --> 00:20:23,501 Susan's idea. 425 00:20:23,501 --> 00:20:25,334 She's going to be here in an hour. 426 00:20:25,334 --> 00:20:27,667 Do you know the biggest turnoff on a first date? 427 00:20:27,667 --> 00:20:30,901 You? Discussion of mutual friends. 428 00:20:30,901 --> 00:20:32,000 An hour? 429 00:20:32,000 --> 00:20:34,367 Yes, she's having a facial. 430 00:20:34,367 --> 00:20:36,200 And i'm trying to avoid someone. 431 00:20:36,200 --> 00:20:37,234 Who? 432 00:20:38,300 --> 00:20:41,133 Oh, my god. What? 433 00:20:44,300 --> 00:20:47,167 Have you been completely clear with her that it's over? 434 00:20:49,133 --> 00:20:50,934 Hello, gorgeous. 435 00:20:50,934 --> 00:20:52,901 And... 436 00:20:52,901 --> 00:20:55,434 i got your lovely message. 437 00:20:55,434 --> 00:20:56,801 You know, i feel quite flushed. 438 00:20:56,801 --> 00:20:59,334 How did you find me? The usual. 439 00:20:59,334 --> 00:21:01,767 Oh, right. You phoned my flat, found i wasn't there. 440 00:21:01,767 --> 00:21:03,667 Then you phoned all the local taxi companies 441 00:21:03,667 --> 00:21:06,601 And found out which one had picked me up and where i'd gone. 442 00:21:06,601 --> 00:21:08,200 Then you phoned all the local restaurants 443 00:21:08,200 --> 00:21:10,033 And found out which one had my booking. 444 00:21:10,033 --> 00:21:11,767 Well, if i didn't do that, 445 00:21:11,767 --> 00:21:15,000 How would we ever see each other? 446 00:21:15,000 --> 00:21:17,300 Remember the time i gave you such a big fright, 447 00:21:17,300 --> 00:21:19,367 You almost fainted? Where was that? 448 00:21:19,367 --> 00:21:21,868 Prague. 449 00:21:21,868 --> 00:21:24,501 You should have seen his little face. 450 00:21:24,501 --> 00:21:25,667 He cried. 451 00:21:25,667 --> 00:21:28,100 Jane, listen. 452 00:21:31,634 --> 00:21:32,634 Oh, my god! 453 00:21:32,634 --> 00:21:35,567 The zone really hates you! 454 00:21:39,067 --> 00:21:41,467 Hi. I didn't expect you to be here already. 455 00:21:41,467 --> 00:21:43,400 Didn't expect you. 456 00:21:43,400 --> 00:21:44,767 Thought you were having a facial. 457 00:21:44,767 --> 00:21:46,667 Oh, she canceled. She canceled? 458 00:21:46,667 --> 00:21:48,667 It's okay. I was going to cancel it anyway. 459 00:21:48,667 --> 00:21:51,968 Don't really need it. Are you sure? 460 00:21:51,968 --> 00:21:53,400 What are you saying? 461 00:21:53,400 --> 00:21:56,934 Nothing. I'm just worried about your face. 462 00:21:56,934 --> 00:21:58,634 Jeff. 463 00:21:58,634 --> 00:22:01,501 Susan! Hi! 464 00:22:01,501 --> 00:22:03,801 I thought you were having a facial. 465 00:22:03,801 --> 00:22:05,601 It was canceled. 466 00:22:05,601 --> 00:22:07,434 Canceled?! 467 00:22:07,434 --> 00:22:10,200 Well, do you want me to have a word with them? 468 00:22:10,200 --> 00:22:11,367 Hello. 469 00:22:11,367 --> 00:22:13,200 Hello. 470 00:22:14,767 --> 00:22:17,667 I'm jane, steve's girlfriend. 471 00:22:18,934 --> 00:22:22,567 Susan. Pleased to meet you. 472 00:22:22,567 --> 00:22:24,667 You have a girlfriend? 473 00:22:24,667 --> 00:22:27,534 Well, at the moment. 474 00:22:27,534 --> 00:22:30,234 At the moment? You're early. 475 00:22:33,834 --> 00:22:35,634 Are you seeing this woman? 476 00:22:35,634 --> 00:22:37,868 No, no, not for another hour. 477 00:22:37,868 --> 00:22:39,634 Steve! 478 00:22:39,634 --> 00:22:43,567 Okay, yes. Yes, we're on a date. 479 00:22:43,567 --> 00:22:44,934 I'm sorry, steve, 480 00:22:44,934 --> 00:22:47,200 But i simply won't tolerate that. 481 00:22:47,200 --> 00:22:48,667 Look, i'm very fond of you, 482 00:22:48,667 --> 00:22:50,901 And i hope we'll always be friends, 483 00:22:50,901 --> 00:22:54,100 But i'm afraid this relationship is now over. 484 00:22:54,100 --> 00:22:55,334 Yes! 485 00:22:55,334 --> 00:22:56,734 Sorry. 486 00:22:56,734 --> 00:22:58,567 Just like that? 487 00:22:58,567 --> 00:23:01,000 I'm afraid so. 488 00:23:01,000 --> 00:23:03,300 I just wish you would have said something. 489 00:23:03,300 --> 00:23:07,000 Does somebody want to tell me what's going on? 490 00:23:09,167 --> 00:23:11,067 Sally, what are you doing here? 491 00:23:11,067 --> 00:23:12,901 I was feeling guilty. 492 00:23:12,901 --> 00:23:15,767 I should never have canceled your facial. 493 00:23:18,868 --> 00:23:20,200 Patrick? 494 00:23:20,200 --> 00:23:21,501 Oh, hi. 495 00:23:21,501 --> 00:23:23,000 Oh, what exactly is going on here? 496 00:23:23,000 --> 00:23:24,667 You're asking me? 497 00:23:24,667 --> 00:23:27,267 I can't believe you're using our restaurant for your date. 498 00:23:27,267 --> 00:23:28,501 That's so thoughtless. 499 00:23:28,501 --> 00:23:30,234 Patrick, you are using our restaurant 500 00:23:30,234 --> 00:23:31,667 And my friend for your date. 501 00:23:31,667 --> 00:23:33,968 Okay, you win that one. 502 00:23:33,968 --> 00:23:35,501 Okay, so let me guess. 503 00:23:35,501 --> 00:23:37,567 You asked him out the moment i dumped him. 504 00:23:37,567 --> 00:23:39,300 Sally, you don't even like him. 505 00:23:39,300 --> 00:23:42,701 I panicked. My neck looked old this morning. 506 00:23:42,701 --> 00:23:45,200 We'll talk later. 507 00:23:45,200 --> 00:23:47,267 Steve, you and i will talk now. 508 00:23:47,267 --> 00:23:49,033 Well, anyway. 509 00:23:49,033 --> 00:23:52,000 Here we all are on steve and susan's first date. 510 00:23:52,000 --> 00:23:53,467 Isn't this great? 511 00:23:53,467 --> 00:23:56,767 Let's all have dinner and plan the future. 512 00:23:56,767 --> 00:23:58,067 Table for six? 513 00:23:58,067 --> 00:24:01,267 Jeff, what are you doing? 514 00:24:01,267 --> 00:24:04,167 Are you worried we're going to talk about you or something? 515 00:24:04,167 --> 00:24:05,601 No. 516 00:24:05,601 --> 00:24:06,968 What is there to say? 517 00:24:06,968 --> 00:24:09,567 You know about him and me? The nerves thing? 518 00:24:09,567 --> 00:24:12,634 Well, yes, but don't worry about it. 519 00:24:12,634 --> 00:24:14,501 Jeff makes loads of women nervous. 520 00:24:16,767 --> 00:24:19,367 You made me nervous? 521 00:24:19,367 --> 00:24:21,267 You told him you made me nervous? 522 00:24:21,267 --> 00:24:23,667 Mr. "I've lost all feeling down my left side." 523 00:24:23,667 --> 00:24:25,767 Mr. "I think all my joints have locked together, 524 00:24:25,767 --> 00:24:27,601 Can you carry me home?" 525 00:24:27,601 --> 00:24:29,734 Jeff? Didn't he tell you? He fainted. 526 00:24:29,734 --> 00:24:31,067 I was only faking it 527 00:24:31,067 --> 00:24:33,267 So that i wouldn't have to have sex with you. 528 00:24:35,367 --> 00:24:39,300 That wasn't a great defense, was it? 529 00:24:39,300 --> 00:24:40,367 Oh! 530 00:24:41,834 --> 00:24:45,701 Look, sex can be very stressful for men. 531 00:24:45,701 --> 00:24:50,501 You judge us on technique, sensitivity, stamina-- 532 00:24:50,501 --> 00:24:54,133 And we're just happy if you're naked. Half naked. 533 00:24:54,133 --> 00:24:55,767 One breast. 534 00:24:55,767 --> 00:24:58,634 Oh, jeff, i can't believe what i'm hearing. 535 00:24:58,634 --> 00:25:00,167 You won't be hearing any more. 536 00:25:00,167 --> 00:25:02,567 I'm staying and monitoring the rest of your conversation. 537 00:25:02,567 --> 00:25:05,667 Jeff, i want to talk to steve privately. 538 00:25:05,667 --> 00:25:07,801 No. No, you're both friends of mine. 539 00:25:07,801 --> 00:25:09,968 If you get together, it affects me. 540 00:25:09,968 --> 00:25:12,300 I'm a legitimate part of this date. 541 00:25:12,300 --> 00:25:14,234 Go away, jeff. Please. 542 00:25:14,234 --> 00:25:16,133 Yeah, what do i have to do here, beg? 543 00:25:16,133 --> 00:25:17,200 Show you a breast? 544 00:25:17,200 --> 00:25:20,501 All i'm saying is that for... 545 00:25:20,501 --> 00:25:21,634 okay. 546 00:25:23,100 --> 00:25:24,334 What? 547 00:25:24,334 --> 00:25:25,868 Okay. 548 00:25:25,868 --> 00:25:26,868 Okay what? 549 00:25:26,868 --> 00:25:28,534 Okay on the breast thing. 550 00:25:28,534 --> 00:25:30,767 I'll go in exchange for a breast. 551 00:25:30,767 --> 00:25:32,801 I wasn't serious. 552 00:25:32,801 --> 00:25:34,767 It's too late. I was. 553 00:25:35,801 --> 00:25:37,234 You've already seen them. 554 00:25:37,234 --> 00:25:40,033 Yeah, during a panic attack. I was blind. 555 00:25:40,033 --> 00:25:42,033 You reckon you can take them now? 556 00:25:42,033 --> 00:25:44,133 Well, singly. 557 00:25:44,133 --> 00:25:45,667 I wasn't serious, jeff. 558 00:25:45,667 --> 00:25:47,934 You really think i'm going to flash you in public? 559 00:25:47,934 --> 00:25:49,267 We're in a corner. 560 00:25:49,267 --> 00:25:52,100 I don't think anyone else will see. 561 00:25:52,100 --> 00:25:56,434 Patrick, what are you doing? You've seen them lots of times. 562 00:25:56,434 --> 00:25:58,400 Yeah, but now you're an ex. 563 00:25:58,400 --> 00:26:00,267 Oh, yeah, that's the best. 564 00:26:03,400 --> 00:26:04,667 What are you two doing? 565 00:26:04,667 --> 00:26:07,834 Always good to see a friend's breast unsupported. 566 00:26:07,834 --> 00:26:12,133 And i just like looking at breasts. 567 00:26:12,133 --> 00:26:15,033 This just gets better and better. 568 00:26:16,567 --> 00:26:18,434 Will you people get it into your heads? 569 00:26:18,434 --> 00:26:20,901 I am not doing this. 570 00:26:24,467 --> 00:26:25,534 Steve. 571 00:26:25,534 --> 00:26:27,801 Just in case you do do it. 572 00:26:27,801 --> 00:26:29,868 You know, technically i'm on a date with you. 573 00:26:29,868 --> 00:26:32,400 I don't want to end up a breast behind everybody else. 574 00:26:34,234 --> 00:26:37,167 Actually, susan, that's fair. I agree. 575 00:26:39,267 --> 00:26:42,234 Do you know what? I am gonna do this. 576 00:26:42,234 --> 00:26:44,100 I'm gonna do this just to show you 577 00:26:44,100 --> 00:26:47,000 How low, pathetic, and desperate you've all become. 578 00:26:47,000 --> 00:26:49,267 Result! 579 00:26:49,267 --> 00:26:51,167 But i want you to remember, 580 00:26:51,167 --> 00:26:53,868 I intend this breast satirically. 581 00:26:53,868 --> 00:26:56,701 Now there's a sentence that can't come up too often. 582 00:26:56,701 --> 00:27:00,934 Okay, which one? Any preference? 583 00:27:00,934 --> 00:27:03,334 Either. Don't mind. 584 00:27:04,334 --> 00:27:06,601 The right one. 585 00:27:06,601 --> 00:27:07,801 Trust me. 586 00:27:10,701 --> 00:27:12,000 What's wrong with the left one? 587 00:27:12,000 --> 00:27:13,133 Don't be like that. 588 00:27:13,133 --> 00:27:14,634 There has to be a second place. 589 00:27:14,634 --> 00:27:16,434 I wasn't aware you'd assessed them individually. 590 00:27:16,434 --> 00:27:18,834 You were asleep. I was bored. 591 00:27:20,501 --> 00:27:22,133 Okay, fine. 592 00:27:22,133 --> 00:27:24,667 Remember, this is to show you how low you have sunk. 593 00:27:24,667 --> 00:27:25,701 Yeah, but we get to see a breast, right? 594 00:27:25,701 --> 00:27:27,734 Yes! Cool. 595 00:27:27,734 --> 00:27:30,200 Okay, here we go. 596 00:27:30,200 --> 00:27:31,868 Fire one. 597 00:27:31,868 --> 00:27:34,434 No, no, that's the left. We want the good one. 598 00:27:42,501 --> 00:27:45,467 If you only could see how stupid you all look. 599 00:27:49,033 --> 00:27:50,634 Table for six, please. 600 00:27:50,634 --> 00:27:52,667 I'm sorry. I think we're fully booked. 601 00:27:52,667 --> 00:27:55,033 She's got another one just like it, you know. 602 00:27:55,033 --> 00:27:56,534 Yeah. Well, pretty much. 603 00:27:56,534 --> 00:27:58,000 Patrick! 604 00:27:58,000 --> 00:27:59,334 Perhaps we're not fully booked. 605 00:27:59,334 --> 00:28:01,434 Let me go and see what i can do. 606 00:28:03,133 --> 00:28:05,534 I thought the plan was to get rid of everyone. 607 00:28:05,534 --> 00:28:07,901 New plan. 608 00:28:07,901 --> 00:28:10,501 Let's see-- Your ex, my ex. 609 00:28:10,501 --> 00:28:13,133 Your best friend, my best friend. 610 00:28:13,133 --> 00:28:15,634 Well, every new relationship has baggage, 611 00:28:15,634 --> 00:28:18,133 So why not invite it all out for dinner? 612 00:28:20,968 --> 00:28:24,334 So i take it this isn't a date anymore? 613 00:28:25,634 --> 00:28:27,534 Or--Or is it? Are we still-- 614 00:28:27,534 --> 00:28:30,501 Steve, i think in the circumstances, 615 00:28:30,501 --> 00:28:34,000 Let's just take it one breast at a time. 616 00:28:36,868 --> 00:28:39,567 * if you can't make your mind up * 617 00:28:39,567 --> 00:28:44,100 * we'll never get started * 618 00:28:45,434 --> 00:28:48,400 * and i don't want to wind up * 619 00:28:48,400 --> 00:28:50,634 * being parted * 620 00:28:50,634 --> 00:28:53,133 * broken-Hearted * 621 00:28:54,234 --> 00:28:57,601 * so if you really love me * 622 00:28:57,601 --> 00:28:59,434 * say yes * 623 00:28:59,434 --> 00:29:02,133 * and please don't tell me * 624 00:29:02,133 --> 00:29:06,734 * perhaps, perhaps, perhaps *