1 00:00:38,071 --> 00:00:39,573 Georgia? 2 00:00:39,573 --> 00:00:42,576 No, it's too ordinary. 3 00:00:43,800 --> 00:00:47,580 - Sophia. - No, it's too obvious. - I was right... 4 00:00:47,580 --> 00:00:49,082 It's a foreign language book. 5 00:00:49,082 --> 00:00:51,284 - That's good. - Why? 6 00:00:51,584 --> 00:00:54,587 Intellectual depth. She's learned a new language. 7 00:00:54,587 --> 00:00:58,591 There's a bit more to it than just a potential for nudity. 8 00:00:58,600 --> 00:00:59,592 That's not bad, Jeff. 9 00:00:59,592 --> 00:01:02,656 Here's the first time you've managed to express your view... 10 00:01:02,656 --> 00:01:04,197 without lowering my opinion of you. 11 00:01:04,197 --> 00:01:09,500 Plus, learning a new language is like a whole work-out for the mouth. 12 00:01:09,602 --> 00:01:12,995 There are times when I worry about the way you see women. 13 00:01:13,106 --> 00:01:17,610 I see women as people in the wrong right. 14 00:01:17,610 --> 00:01:20,613 In many ways, they are. 15 00:01:21,114 --> 00:01:24,117 You see women as transport for breasts. 16 00:01:24,117 --> 00:01:27,620 I can see past... I can see past breasts now, Steve. 17 00:01:27,620 --> 00:01:30,123 - I need more than that. - Yeah, I can tell. 18 00:01:30,123 --> 00:01:33,626 I need breasts with brains. 19 00:01:34,627 --> 00:01:39,132 I don't mean individual brains, obviously. 20 00:01:39,132 --> 00:01:39,533 Well, no. 21 00:01:39,603 --> 00:01:40,999 I mean, not a brain each. 22 00:01:41,900 --> 00:01:43,780 I like intelligent women, but... 23 00:01:44,140 --> 00:01:45,990 you've got to draw the line somewhere. 24 00:01:46,380 --> 00:01:49,060 And you draw the line in intelligent breasts. 25 00:01:49,800 --> 00:01:53,940 I think breast brains would be over-egging the woman pudding. 26 00:01:58,240 --> 00:01:59,560 Besides... 27 00:02:00,100 --> 00:02:02,530 you give breasts a part of independent thought... 28 00:02:02,540 --> 00:02:04,820 and the next thing is they don't get on. 29 00:02:04,820 --> 00:02:07,260 There's a clash of personalities. 30 00:02:08,740 --> 00:02:12,180 Yes, it so often happens with similar people in similar jobs. 31 00:02:12,380 --> 00:02:15,220 - Working in the same bra. - Exactly. 32 00:02:15,700 --> 00:02:17,980 And what if a fight broke out? 33 00:02:19,860 --> 00:02:22,660 It can be a tough image to shake really, isn't it? 34 00:02:24,220 --> 00:02:26,540 You know, I've got an idea for a new porn-film. 35 00:02:32,420 --> 00:02:35,700 You know what would be the best way to wipe out all of humankind... 36 00:02:35,700 --> 00:02:38,760 if you were a space alien with a special kind of mind-ray? 37 00:02:39,020 --> 00:02:41,220 No, I don't believe it's ever come up, mate. 38 00:02:41,300 --> 00:02:43,600 Make all women telepathic. 39 00:02:43,600 --> 00:02:46,890 Because if they suddenly found out about the kind of stuff that goes on in our heads... 40 00:02:46,890 --> 00:02:49,280 they'd kill us all on the spot. 41 00:02:49,401 --> 00:02:53,340 Men are not people. We are disgustoids in human form. 42 00:02:54,420 --> 00:02:55,980 Wabble wars. 43 00:02:56,220 --> 00:02:58,500 - What? - Wabble wars. 44 00:02:58,500 --> 00:03:01,980 The title for the new porn-film about the battling breast-brains. 45 00:03:02,180 --> 00:03:05,990 In the event of the mind-ray alert stand next to Patrick. 46 00:03:06,940 --> 00:03:09,060 Yeah, but we're all the same as Patrick. 47 00:03:09,060 --> 00:03:12,620 You see, women think we are normal, like them, 48 00:03:12,780 --> 00:03:15,380 'cause we talk to them like normal people. 49 00:03:15,380 --> 00:03:19,820 You know. We say "Hello", "How are you?" "Haven't seen you in this place before". 50 00:03:19,820 --> 00:03:22,560 "What kind of music do you like?" 51 00:03:23,300 --> 00:03:27,560 But all the time in our brains we've got the word "breasts" on a loop. 52 00:03:27,900 --> 00:03:29,820 If we ever lost control for a second... 53 00:03:29,860 --> 00:03:32,840 we'd all start shouting BREASTS, BREASTS, BREASTS! 54 00:03:37,141 --> 00:03:39,041 - Did you see that? - Yeah, I certainly did. 55 00:03:39,142 --> 00:03:40,842 - You've got a glance, Jeff. - No. 56 00:03:40,660 --> 00:03:43,860 Yeah, I confirm that was a glance. We have confirmed glancing. 57 00:03:43,860 --> 00:03:46,820 Ok. Try to maximize your advantage. Get over there and talk to her. 58 00:03:46,820 --> 00:03:49,160 - Don't say "breasts". - I can't talk to her now. 59 00:03:49,161 --> 00:03:50,161 Why not? 60 00:03:50,162 --> 00:03:51,700 I've been watching her for an hour. 61 00:03:51,700 --> 00:03:53,860 - So? - What do you mean, "so"? 62 00:03:53,860 --> 00:03:56,881 I'm way past the nudity buffer. Be serious! 63 00:03:56,900 --> 00:03:59,580 When you say things like "nudity buffer"... 64 00:03:59,580 --> 00:04:02,300 do you actually expect people to understand what you are talking about? 65 00:04:04,850 --> 00:04:06,960 Right. When you first see an attractive woman... 66 00:04:06,960 --> 00:04:09,600 you've got a nudity buffer of maybe... 67 00:04:09,600 --> 00:04:13,720 five minutes before you fully mapped out what she looks like naked. 68 00:04:13,840 --> 00:04:15,320 A whole five? 69 00:04:15,340 --> 00:04:18,100 You got to assess her nipple type. That takes time. 70 00:04:18,101 --> 00:04:19,401 Good point. 71 00:04:19,440 --> 00:04:21,880 If you don't get in there and talk to her during the first five minutes... 72 00:04:21,880 --> 00:04:23,130 it's too late. 73 00:04:23,131 --> 00:04:25,240 Because then she'll be naked in your head, 74 00:04:25,240 --> 00:04:27,820 and you'll forget rule one of playing it cool... 75 00:04:27,880 --> 00:04:31,400 - Which is? - Only smile at her face. 76 00:04:35,000 --> 00:04:37,680 Forget the nudity buffer. She's just did another glance. 77 00:04:37,680 --> 00:04:40,990 Forget it? Forget the power of the buffer, Patrick? 78 00:04:41,280 --> 00:04:43,560 Did I ever tell you about the little redhead in my office? 79 00:04:43,560 --> 00:04:46,040 - Never mind about that redhead. - Been there two years. 80 00:04:46,120 --> 00:04:48,100 But I missed the buffer. 81 00:04:48,160 --> 00:04:50,200 That redhead has been naked in my head... 82 00:04:50,200 --> 00:04:54,560 for two years now, performing deviant sex acts... 83 00:04:54,560 --> 00:04:57,400 that would make the world's top porn stars go white... 84 00:04:57,400 --> 00:04:59,990 and steady themselves on the furniture! 85 00:05:00,280 --> 00:05:03,920 I lose the ability to speak the moment she comes into the room. 86 00:05:03,920 --> 00:05:06,000 Every time she passes me in the corridor... 87 00:05:06,000 --> 00:05:08,240 I walk sideways into the wall. 88 00:05:08,040 --> 00:05:10,850 She thinks I'm a mute with a balance problem. 89 00:05:14,480 --> 00:05:15,320 Jesus. 90 00:05:15,460 --> 00:05:17,820 Definitely a look. Possibly even in linger. 91 00:05:17,820 --> 00:05:20,160 - She touches her hair, you're in. - Her hair? 92 00:05:20,160 --> 00:05:21,480 Yeah, their second thought is always to worry about the hair. 93 00:05:21,680 --> 00:05:22,840 What, when they see someone they like? 94 00:05:23,020 --> 00:05:24,340 Just generally. 95 00:05:25,860 --> 00:05:27,500 This is not a drill! 96 00:05:27,500 --> 00:05:30,540 She angles an extremity in your direction, we're in business! 97 00:05:32,700 --> 00:05:34,020 Incoming! 98 00:05:34,060 --> 00:05:36,220 Right, Mr Spock, put the Enterprise on red alert! 99 00:05:36,220 --> 00:05:37,580 And you know what that means! 100 00:05:37,580 --> 00:05:40,740 Captain Kirk, it is time to shag the alien's girlfriend! 101 00:05:40,980 --> 00:05:45,980 Do you remember when Captain Kirk saw beautiful women, the screen would go all misty? 102 00:05:45,980 --> 00:05:48,820 I thought his eyes were steaming up 'cause he was so excited. 103 00:05:48,820 --> 00:05:50,780 Every time I talked to a girl in my class... 104 00:05:50,800 --> 00:05:54,170 I tried to make my eyes steam up! They called me Scary Jeff. 105 00:05:54,180 --> 00:05:57,860 - Scary Jeff, beam over! - I can't! 106 00:05:57,860 --> 00:06:02,300 Just get over there and get her some drink stuff. Chatting casually is dead easy. 107 00:06:02,300 --> 00:06:04,780 And the next time you walk past the office redhead, you just smile at her. 108 00:06:04,780 --> 00:06:07,920 I tried smiling at her once, and destroyed a water cooler. 109 00:06:07,920 --> 00:06:09,100 Go! 110 00:06:11,260 --> 00:06:14,420 No, I've got all that disgustoid stuff in my head now, 111 00:06:14,420 --> 00:06:16,860 what if I say "gusset" accidentally? 112 00:06:17,060 --> 00:06:18,500 My advice? 113 00:06:18,500 --> 00:06:19,800 - Yes. - Don't. 114 00:06:19,801 --> 00:06:21,601 - Thanks. - Anytime. 115 00:06:27,340 --> 00:06:29,160 "Two minds, one bra"? 116 00:06:29,900 --> 00:06:32,180 No, I'd prefer "Wabble wars". 117 00:06:55,340 --> 00:06:57,260 Serve me again, please. 118 00:07:11,300 --> 00:07:13,740 You can read. 119 00:07:19,700 --> 00:07:21,860 I mean, you are reading. 120 00:07:21,900 --> 00:07:22,980 Sorry. 121 00:07:24,340 --> 00:07:26,200 It's nice to see people reading. 122 00:07:26,380 --> 00:07:28,980 Not a lot of people read these days. 123 00:07:29,020 --> 00:07:30,580 People prefer to... 124 00:07:32,020 --> 00:07:33,060 hear. 125 00:07:34,100 --> 00:07:38,700 But all this hearing is just reading for lazy people, 126 00:07:38,700 --> 00:07:41,250 Kids today should be prepared to pick up a book, 127 00:07:41,260 --> 00:07:44,980 and not just go around the whole time with all these modern... 128 00:07:46,540 --> 00:07:47,900 ...ears. 129 00:07:49,380 --> 00:07:51,820 Sometimes I just wanna rip people's ears off and say: 130 00:07:51,820 --> 00:07:54,320 Read a book, for God's sake! 131 00:07:56,740 --> 00:07:59,580 I'd probably say "read a book" first, and then... 132 00:07:59,580 --> 00:08:02,500 rip their ears off, for otherwise they wouldn't hear me. 133 00:08:04,580 --> 00:08:07,120 I'd probably wouldn't rip their ears off at all... 134 00:08:07,121 --> 00:08:10,100 I'm not a violent person, I like ears, 135 00:08:10,100 --> 00:08:13,060 especially women ears, they are my favourite. 136 00:08:13,780 --> 00:08:15,900 I don't mean I collect them or anything. 137 00:08:15,900 --> 00:08:20,150 I don't have a big bucket of women ears hidden away somewhere. 138 00:08:20,180 --> 00:08:24,820 No, I'm not after your ears really. Not as there's anything wrong with your ears. 139 00:08:24,860 --> 00:08:27,620 If I was some kind of mad ear person... 140 00:08:27,620 --> 00:08:31,340 your ears would be the pride of my... 141 00:08:31,980 --> 00:08:34,460 ear bucket. 142 00:08:34,700 --> 00:08:36,060 Oh my God. 143 00:08:47,260 --> 00:08:49,620 I forgot how to understand English! 144 00:08:51,740 --> 00:08:53,900 I hate it when that happens! 145 00:08:54,900 --> 00:08:57,780 She's from Israel. She speaks Hebrew. 146 00:09:02,940 --> 00:09:04,700 So sorry I exist. 147 00:09:04,780 --> 00:09:08,180 Men get so disappointed when the flat-chested friend turns up. 148 00:09:08,660 --> 00:09:11,340 It's a bit unfair, it's hardly your fault. 149 00:09:13,820 --> 00:09:15,200 Thank you. 150 00:09:18,140 --> 00:09:22,300 So she doesn't understand a word I've been saying. 151 00:09:22,300 --> 00:09:23,140 Nope. 152 00:09:23,540 --> 00:09:24,880 Result! 153 00:09:25,900 --> 00:09:27,300 Result? 154 00:09:27,300 --> 00:09:31,100 That's the first good thing that's ever happened to me, ever, ever! 155 00:09:35,980 --> 00:09:38,580 She's apologizing for letting you talk so long. 156 00:09:38,580 --> 00:09:40,200 No, no, no, it's great! 157 00:09:40,220 --> 00:09:43,220 I was explaining how I collect women's ears. 158 00:09:47,900 --> 00:09:51,540 No, no, no, it was a joke, hahaha, a joke! 159 00:09:58,940 --> 00:10:03,620 So, is she your interpreter, then? 160 00:10:08,940 --> 00:10:11,500 Yes, I am her interpreter. 161 00:10:13,500 --> 00:10:15,700 Sorry, that was a bit redundant. 162 00:10:21,260 --> 00:10:23,420 Yes, that was a bit redundant. 163 00:10:30,020 --> 00:10:31,980 Sorry about all the redundancy. 164 00:10:32,540 --> 00:10:35,000 Can I phone her sometime? 165 00:10:35,100 --> 00:10:36,280 How? 166 00:10:37,660 --> 00:10:39,240 Good point. 167 00:10:39,540 --> 00:10:41,380 Anyway, she's going back to Israel. 168 00:10:48,260 --> 00:10:50,990 - Well? - How did it go? 169 00:10:51,660 --> 00:10:54,900 She's leaving the country. She doesn't speak English. 170 00:10:54,900 --> 00:10:57,460 I insulted her friend's breasts, 171 00:10:58,060 --> 00:11:01,580 and she thinks I collect women's ears in a bucket. 172 00:11:02,980 --> 00:11:05,990 Well, you've had worse. 173 00:11:06,659 --> 00:11:09,559 The girl with two brains! 174 00:11:10,060 --> 00:11:12,680 Three brains, Patrick! 175 00:11:13,180 --> 00:11:15,240 Oh yeah, I forgot about that one. 176 00:11:20,020 --> 00:11:22,220 Her eyes will be the first to go. 177 00:11:22,220 --> 00:11:24,800 She'll crease them with all that smiling. 178 00:11:25,060 --> 00:11:29,750 She'll have crinkly squinty eyes like an Australian. Or an unmarried aunt. 179 00:11:29,860 --> 00:11:31,420 So, what do we think of her breasts? 180 00:11:31,540 --> 00:11:34,330 So good, that's as if they're on purpose. 181 00:11:34,340 --> 00:11:35,820 Spectacular, aren't they? 182 00:11:35,820 --> 00:11:38,020 The bigger they are, the further they fall. 183 00:11:39,340 --> 00:11:41,100 You're a cruel woman, Sally. 184 00:11:41,140 --> 00:11:45,620 A woman's breasts are a journey. Her feet are the destination. 185 00:11:45,620 --> 00:11:48,220 You say such horrible things! 186 00:11:49,140 --> 00:11:50,980 Do her neck now. 187 00:11:51,140 --> 00:11:54,980 That's all part of a talk I give at my salon, for women who've just turned thirty. 188 00:11:55,020 --> 00:11:58,280 Gravity: this time it's personal. 189 00:12:01,780 --> 00:12:04,400 The point is, are they fake? 190 00:12:04,980 --> 00:12:07,880 Of course they're fake. They're so... realistic. 191 00:12:07,881 --> 00:12:10,781 Yeah, they're all perk and firm. 192 00:12:10,900 --> 00:12:12,460 Are we supposed to believe that? 193 00:12:13,260 --> 00:12:16,780 Bet she doesn't lie on her back and feel her armpits. 194 00:12:20,460 --> 00:12:24,340 Sally, in case you didn't realize, you said that out loud. 195 00:12:27,460 --> 00:12:29,620 She'll probably run to fat in later life. 196 00:12:29,740 --> 00:12:32,060 She'll probably inflate like an emergency dinghy... 197 00:12:32,140 --> 00:12:34,500 the day after she marries a billionaire. 198 00:12:35,460 --> 00:12:38,700 Actually... that's my plan too. 199 00:12:39,060 --> 00:12:41,500 Face it, girls, we are looking at perfection. 200 00:12:41,500 --> 00:12:43,540 Perfect hair, perfect breasts... 201 00:12:43,550 --> 00:12:47,060 and a bottom so tight it could do lipsynch. 202 00:12:47,300 --> 00:12:51,020 And you know what? We are grown-up attractive women in our own right. 203 00:12:51,220 --> 00:12:52,540 We are mature enough simply... 204 00:12:52,540 --> 00:12:56,020 to appreciate her as the thing of beauty she undoubtedly is. 205 00:12:57,060 --> 00:12:59,260 - You're right. - I suppose so. 206 00:12:59,340 --> 00:13:01,700 So let's just try and be adult, shall we? 207 00:13:05,220 --> 00:13:09,120 Look, she still got the price tag stucked to the sole of her shoe! 208 00:13:09,140 --> 00:13:12,400 - Where? Show me. - I see it, left foot! 209 00:13:12,540 --> 00:13:14,420 Oh, yeah, look at that! 210 00:13:14,540 --> 00:13:16,780 It's not even on straight, slut! 211 00:13:18,060 --> 00:13:21,060 Do you know, I really wish this didn't make us so incredibly happy. 212 00:13:21,260 --> 00:13:22,920 I'm gonna tell the girls at the next table. 213 00:13:23,000 --> 00:13:25,380 Oh no, don't. One of them's got good lips. 214 00:13:26,260 --> 00:13:29,060 - Oh, here we go. - What? 215 00:13:29,060 --> 00:13:31,660 She's seen someone she likes. 216 00:13:31,660 --> 00:13:33,800 - Has she? - Oh yeah, look at her! 217 00:13:34,000 --> 00:13:35,860 She's on "boy alert". 218 00:13:36,100 --> 00:13:37,180 Her head angle.. 219 00:13:38,000 --> 00:13:41,660 yes! a private smile, suggest humour and approachability. 220 00:13:41,900 --> 00:13:44,080 Cover glance, coming out... 221 00:13:48,140 --> 00:13:49,900 So who's the lucky guy? 222 00:13:50,500 --> 00:13:53,260 - Could be the tall one. - No, the blonde one. 223 00:13:54,260 --> 00:13:56,740 - Look, there's Jeff. - Oh, yeah, right. 224 00:13:57,340 --> 00:13:59,550 Could be the one in the leather jacket, 225 00:13:59,550 --> 00:14:02,740 - he's got that dangerous thing. - Yeah, he's the possibility. 226 00:14:03,020 --> 00:14:06,180 Actually, all these guys are with someone, except Jeff. 227 00:14:06,180 --> 00:14:07,220 Right. 228 00:14:08,300 --> 00:14:10,100 So it must be a woman! 229 00:14:10,820 --> 00:14:12,740 You guys might be missing the obvious here... 230 00:14:13,020 --> 00:14:15,500 Haven't you considered she could be looking at Jeff? 231 00:14:19,900 --> 00:14:22,420 - No, but seriously... - I'm serious. 232 00:14:23,540 --> 00:14:25,420 Yes, she is. It's Jeff! 233 00:14:25,420 --> 00:14:28,020 - No, not Jeff. - Yes. 234 00:14:28,140 --> 00:14:30,720 But she's not meant for a guy like Jeff. 235 00:14:30,720 --> 00:14:33,280 He's supposed to have someone plump and organized. 236 00:14:33,280 --> 00:14:35,000 Healthy looking but mottled. 237 00:14:35,000 --> 00:14:36,980 Probably called Joan or Frieda. 238 00:14:37,000 --> 00:14:42,300 All chunky jackets and hillwalking and they'll get married and she'll age badly, 239 00:14:42,320 --> 00:14:44,800 and I'll just seem prettier and prettier... 240 00:14:44,960 --> 00:14:45,960 Sally... 241 00:14:46,280 --> 00:14:48,080 still out loud. 242 00:14:49,920 --> 00:14:51,320 Think I'll say hi. 243 00:14:54,800 --> 00:14:57,040 - Jeff. - Susan! 244 00:14:58,240 --> 00:15:00,600 - So what's this then? - What are you talking about? 245 00:15:00,760 --> 00:15:03,040 Longing looks across the bar. 246 00:15:03,200 --> 00:15:05,800 - What longing looks? - Who with? 247 00:15:06,040 --> 00:15:07,560 Brunette with the book. 248 00:15:07,840 --> 00:15:09,880 ¿Not the woman with a pricetag on her shoe? 249 00:15:09,920 --> 00:15:10,680 What? 250 00:15:13,080 --> 00:15:15,890 - So what's the story? - What story? 251 00:15:15,960 --> 00:15:19,900 Why should there be a story? Why are you suddenly going on about stories all the time? 252 00:15:19,960 --> 00:15:23,640 Who is she? Apart from gorgeous and giving you the eye... 253 00:15:23,780 --> 00:15:25,920 She was giving him the eye yesterday too. 254 00:15:25,920 --> 00:15:27,240 Sorry, I'm late. 255 00:15:27,560 --> 00:15:28,560 And? 256 00:15:28,680 --> 00:15:31,920 And I told her I collect women's ears in a bucket. 257 00:15:31,920 --> 00:15:34,040 Why are you always apt to say something like that? 258 00:15:34,040 --> 00:15:35,160 I don't. 259 00:15:35,640 --> 00:15:38,000 Audrey Watkins, my flat warming. 260 00:15:38,160 --> 00:15:39,680 I was drunk! 261 00:15:39,800 --> 00:15:42,280 Worst charm line in the history of sex. 262 00:15:42,360 --> 00:15:45,460 You're so gorgeous you should be embalmed. 263 00:15:46,420 --> 00:15:49,200 I stressed that I didn't mean immediately. 264 00:15:49,200 --> 00:15:52,640 - She left by the toilet window. - At least she didn't move house. 265 00:15:52,720 --> 00:15:54,600 That was a big step forward for me. 266 00:15:55,240 --> 00:15:57,560 How's your next step forward going? 267 00:15:58,080 --> 00:16:02,460 Doesn't speak a word of English. And she's going back to Israel anyway. 268 00:16:02,920 --> 00:16:06,000 Hold her look. Hold her look and wave. 269 00:16:06,000 --> 00:16:08,400 Both at the same time - you mad? 270 00:16:08,400 --> 00:16:09,960 Do it! 271 00:16:12,400 --> 00:16:14,180 No, no, no, I can't, I can't! 272 00:16:14,940 --> 00:16:16,720 Jeff, listen to me. 273 00:16:17,160 --> 00:16:20,520 Women want somebody with command, with confidence. 274 00:16:20,520 --> 00:16:22,480 Someone who wouldn't take no for an answer. 275 00:16:22,490 --> 00:16:26,600 We want somebody arrogant and gorgeous with a terrifying sexual appetite... 276 00:16:26,680 --> 00:16:29,360 and an amazing range of sexual technique. 277 00:16:29,440 --> 00:16:31,880 But when it comes right down to it, you know what? 278 00:16:31,900 --> 00:16:33,520 We settle for man. 279 00:16:34,960 --> 00:16:36,120 Go! 280 00:16:36,320 --> 00:16:38,280 But she won't understand a word I'm saying! 281 00:16:38,280 --> 00:16:39,760 Yeah, but on the plus side... 282 00:16:39,840 --> 00:16:42,400 she won't understand a word you're saying! 283 00:16:42,920 --> 00:16:44,680 I haven't thought of that. 284 00:16:49,040 --> 00:16:52,280 So, have you "settled" for me then? 285 00:16:52,280 --> 00:16:54,720 Oh, don't be paranoid, Steve. 286 00:16:54,800 --> 00:16:56,440 Of course I have. 287 00:17:02,080 --> 00:17:03,120 Um... 288 00:17:04,640 --> 00:17:05,740 Hello. 289 00:17:07,120 --> 00:17:09,680 Would it be alright if I sat here? 290 00:17:22,640 --> 00:17:23,800 Hi. 291 00:17:32,840 --> 00:17:36,700 So, your interpreter's not here, then? 292 00:17:40,000 --> 00:17:43,990 I'm just saying, you don't understand what I'm saying? 293 00:17:46,920 --> 00:17:49,480 You don't understand...? 294 00:17:49,480 --> 00:17:54,100 No, no. Let's not get started on that whole ear thing again! 295 00:18:01,760 --> 00:18:04,560 Oh, I wish to God I knew what any of that meant! 296 00:18:08,040 --> 00:18:10,160 I wish your interpreter... 297 00:18:10,200 --> 00:18:13,480 - your interpreter was here. - Alice? 298 00:18:13,520 --> 00:18:15,200 Alice, yes, yes! 299 00:18:17,240 --> 00:18:18,720 Alice, yeah! 300 00:18:22,920 --> 00:18:27,200 You know what? There's something that I've always wanted to say... 301 00:18:28,240 --> 00:18:31,280 and now I feel that at long last I can. 302 00:18:36,000 --> 00:18:37,180 Breasts. 303 00:18:38,200 --> 00:18:40,560 Breasts, breasts, breasts! 304 00:18:45,120 --> 00:18:47,320 Oh God, it was good to get that out. 305 00:18:48,000 --> 00:18:52,240 I don't know what the hell you have just said, but can I just say "bra"? 306 00:18:57,000 --> 00:19:00,380 This makes life so much easier! 307 00:19:01,080 --> 00:19:02,520 Thighs. 308 00:19:03,240 --> 00:19:04,440 Tights. 309 00:19:06,680 --> 00:19:08,520 What's your name? 310 00:19:09,880 --> 00:19:10,800 Hang on. 311 00:19:11,080 --> 00:19:12,360 Name? 312 00:19:13,320 --> 00:19:16,200 Jeff, Alice... 313 00:19:19,400 --> 00:19:21,040 Hang on, hang on... 314 00:19:21,280 --> 00:19:22,480 Name? 315 00:19:23,000 --> 00:19:24,680 Look, name... 316 00:19:25,360 --> 00:19:26,200 Name. 317 00:19:31,800 --> 00:19:34,640 - Shadaim? - Shadaim. 318 00:19:34,960 --> 00:19:38,280 Oh, that's a beautiful name! Shadaim. 319 00:19:40,080 --> 00:19:42,160 Steve, Shadaim! 320 00:19:42,320 --> 00:19:44,000 Shadaim! 321 00:19:56,960 --> 00:20:01,470 Oh, Alice, yes, we need Alice to translate. For a bit, anyway. 322 00:20:03,120 --> 00:20:05,140 Here, you mean here. 323 00:20:05,560 --> 00:20:06,720 Tomorrow. 324 00:20:09,400 --> 00:20:12,120 Seven o'clock. Here, tomorrow night, seven o'clock. Great! 325 00:20:12,340 --> 00:20:13,990 Yeah, bring Alice. 326 00:20:24,760 --> 00:20:27,600 I don't know what this is about, but it's brilliant! 327 00:20:41,040 --> 00:20:44,560 I have no idea what you're saying, but don't stop! 328 00:20:48,200 --> 00:20:49,260 Gusset. 329 00:20:51,120 --> 00:20:53,560 Gusset, gusset! 330 00:20:58,040 --> 00:20:59,200 Alice? 331 00:21:05,280 --> 00:21:08,180 Oh, you're going? Right, okay, I'll see you tomorrow. 332 00:21:13,360 --> 00:21:15,320 Oh, right, I mean, bye! 333 00:21:21,200 --> 00:21:22,990 I'll see you tomorrow night. 334 00:21:46,120 --> 00:21:52,780 I have no idea what you've just said... but English is such a sexy language. 335 00:21:54,080 --> 00:21:55,600 Sit down. 336 00:22:01,560 --> 00:22:02,880 Hello. 337 00:22:08,480 --> 00:22:11,120 Sorry, my interpreter is not here. 338 00:22:16,160 --> 00:22:18,480 Sorry, I'm not getting any of this. 339 00:22:28,000 --> 00:22:30,920 You know, you are seriously cute. 340 00:22:30,920 --> 00:22:32,960 I know you don't understand a word I'm saying... 341 00:22:32,960 --> 00:22:34,880 but you really are. 342 00:22:40,060 --> 00:22:42,880 Very cute. 343 00:22:46,880 --> 00:22:48,220 Alice? 344 00:22:50,080 --> 00:22:52,320 Oh, you like Alice, do you? 345 00:22:53,600 --> 00:22:54,720 Well... 346 00:23:13,960 --> 00:23:17,340 You really do like Alice, don't you? 347 00:23:20,560 --> 00:23:22,480 Lucky old Alice. 348 00:23:28,640 --> 00:23:30,240 You're so sweet... 349 00:23:42,040 --> 00:23:44,180 Not getting any of this. 350 00:23:48,760 --> 00:23:50,990 Oh, you want me to ask Alice and... 351 00:24:00,640 --> 00:24:02,120 Oh, you mean these? 352 00:24:03,080 --> 00:24:04,960 You mean my breasts? 353 00:24:05,880 --> 00:24:07,620 Breasts. 354 00:24:08,920 --> 00:24:10,380 Breasts. 355 00:24:14,400 --> 00:24:17,600 You really like breasts, then? 356 00:24:17,800 --> 00:24:19,800 Steve, breasts! 357 00:24:21,080 --> 00:24:22,860 Breasts! 358 00:24:25,040 --> 00:24:29,720 Oh God, you really like bossoms in this country, don't you? 359 00:24:30,200 --> 00:24:32,900 Poor old Alice, she's hardly got any at all. 360 00:24:32,920 --> 00:24:36,240 You better not mention that, she's very sensitive about it. 361 00:24:37,680 --> 00:24:40,380 So you really want to see Alice again, then? 362 00:24:46,400 --> 00:24:48,640 Ok, she'll be here... 363 00:24:51,000 --> 00:24:52,520 tomorrow... 364 00:24:54,560 --> 00:24:57,260 seven o'clock. 365 00:25:00,680 --> 00:25:02,500 Alice will be here. 366 00:25:06,480 --> 00:25:09,300 I know I shouldn't be doing this. 367 00:25:09,640 --> 00:25:14,400 I know this is definitely wrong... but what the hell, I'm on holiday. 368 00:25:20,840 --> 00:25:24,320 I'm going back home tomorrow night, do what you like with Alice. 369 00:25:25,680 --> 00:25:28,990 Tonight, since it's my last night here... 370 00:25:29,240 --> 00:25:31,460 why don't we go off and... 371 00:25:31,640 --> 00:25:33,520 misbehave? 372 00:25:37,520 --> 00:25:39,500 You're so sweet! 373 00:25:48,040 --> 00:25:50,660 Alice's friends are here. We better be careful. 374 00:25:52,000 --> 00:25:53,400 Look. 375 00:25:54,080 --> 00:25:55,820 I'll tell you what. 376 00:25:55,821 --> 00:25:57,821 I will leave now. 377 00:26:02,040 --> 00:26:05,400 And you follow me in five minutes. 378 00:26:07,440 --> 00:26:10,560 - Five minutes. - Five minutes. 379 00:26:11,080 --> 00:26:13,280 I'll see you in a moment. 380 00:26:15,680 --> 00:26:17,680 Five minutes, breasts. 381 00:26:32,640 --> 00:26:34,300 I'm so in! 382 00:27:02,080 --> 00:27:03,080 Hi. 383 00:27:03,760 --> 00:27:05,800 I was told you'd be here. 384 00:27:08,040 --> 00:27:09,440 Is something wrong? 385 00:27:11,680 --> 00:27:14,300 Sorry, I was expecting Shadayim. 386 00:27:25,280 --> 00:27:26,640 They arrested him? 387 00:27:27,160 --> 00:27:30,160 Yeah, Heathrow. They kept him there for hours. 388 00:27:30,360 --> 00:27:32,320 Just 'cause he was looking for that girl? 389 00:27:32,720 --> 00:27:35,320 Yeah, but you know Jeff. He gets a bit carried away. 390 00:27:35,640 --> 00:27:38,560 All he was doing was running around the airlounge just shouting her name. 391 00:27:41,680 --> 00:27:43,990 - But they've let him go now? - Yeah, yeah. 392 00:27:44,120 --> 00:27:45,840 Suggested counselling. 393 00:27:48,080 --> 00:27:49,040 I've got it. 394 00:27:49,440 --> 00:27:51,360 - What? - Perfect. 395 00:27:51,640 --> 00:27:55,480 - What? - The girl with two breasts. 396 00:27:58,080 --> 00:28:01,280 Patrick, that is the stupidest title yet.