1 00:00:01,934 --> 00:00:05,033 * 2 00:00:08,601 --> 00:00:12,000 * you won't admit you love me * 3 00:00:12,000 --> 00:00:13,467 * and so * 4 00:00:13,467 --> 00:00:16,200 * how am i ever * 5 00:00:16,200 --> 00:00:18,067 * to know * 6 00:00:18,067 --> 00:00:20,501 * you always tell me * 7 00:00:20,501 --> 00:00:25,400 * perhaps, perhaps, perhaps * 8 00:00:25,400 --> 00:00:27,300 * perhaps * 9 00:00:27,300 --> 00:00:29,200 * perhaps * 10 00:00:29,200 --> 00:00:31,167 * perhaps * 11 00:00:43,100 --> 00:00:45,133 i don't know what it was about him. 12 00:00:45,133 --> 00:00:47,167 He was with these two other guys, 13 00:00:47,167 --> 00:00:51,601 but for some mysterious reason, he really stood out. 14 00:00:51,601 --> 00:00:54,868 I think it must have been something very deep and spiritual. 15 00:00:58,234 --> 00:00:59,467 So, what did you do? 16 00:00:59,467 --> 00:01:02,834 Well, you know me. I played it cool. 17 00:01:02,834 --> 00:01:04,467 Hello, I'm Jane. 18 00:01:04,467 --> 00:01:06,467 Hello. 19 00:01:06,467 --> 00:01:08,234 Um, excuse me. 20 00:01:08,234 --> 00:01:09,400 What? 21 00:01:09,400 --> 00:01:12,300 You're standing right in front of me. 22 00:01:12,300 --> 00:01:13,567 Yes. 23 00:01:14,868 --> 00:01:16,234 I'm bill. 24 00:01:16,234 --> 00:01:17,701 Well, hello, bill. 25 00:01:17,701 --> 00:01:19,200 You know, i thought you were a bill. 26 00:01:19,200 --> 00:01:20,501 It really suits you. 27 00:01:20,501 --> 00:01:22,968 It's one of the names i would have picked for you. 28 00:01:22,968 --> 00:01:25,934 Oh, I'm really interested in the science of names. 29 00:01:25,934 --> 00:01:28,968 Well, this is Walter and Harry. 30 00:01:28,968 --> 00:01:29,968 Fine. 31 00:01:29,968 --> 00:01:32,000 I'm Harry, he's Walter. 32 00:01:32,000 --> 00:01:34,534 Either way. 33 00:01:35,868 --> 00:01:36,968 Sally, please! 34 00:01:36,968 --> 00:01:38,601 I said no. 35 00:01:38,601 --> 00:01:40,167 Did i miss anything? 36 00:01:40,167 --> 00:01:42,033 Lust at first sight, contact established. 37 00:01:42,033 --> 00:01:44,067 It's just one night. Come on, why not? 38 00:01:44,067 --> 00:01:45,634 Shh! I want to hear this. 39 00:01:45,634 --> 00:01:47,033 So, how did it go? 40 00:01:47,033 --> 00:01:50,234 Well, there we were, just the two of us. 41 00:01:50,234 --> 00:01:52,434 You're a scorpio, aren't you? 42 00:01:52,434 --> 00:01:54,901 I can always spot scorpios. It's something i sense. 43 00:01:54,901 --> 00:01:56,501 I'm not a scorpio. 44 00:01:56,501 --> 00:01:59,434 I'm a scorpio. Maybe you were sensing me. 45 00:01:59,434 --> 00:02:01,167 No. 46 00:02:01,167 --> 00:02:02,334 Sagittarius? 47 00:02:02,334 --> 00:02:04,267 Sorry. Not sagittarius, either. 48 00:02:04,267 --> 00:02:05,501 Now isn't this strange? 49 00:02:05,501 --> 00:02:07,200 I'm normally really good at this. 50 00:02:07,200 --> 00:02:09,334 I'm very attuned to astrology. 51 00:02:09,334 --> 00:02:12,634 It's one of the most interesting things about me. 52 00:02:12,634 --> 00:02:15,067 I-i-I've written some articles about astrology. 53 00:02:15,067 --> 00:02:16,901 That's true. Harry's the expert. 54 00:02:16,901 --> 00:02:18,934 I don't know that I'm actually a believer, 55 00:02:18,934 --> 00:02:20,734 but i do think astrology represents centuries 56 00:02:20,734 --> 00:02:22,567 of accumulated understanding of different personality types. 57 00:02:22,567 --> 00:02:24,367 When-when you say that you're attuned, 58 00:02:24,367 --> 00:02:26,133 maybe that's what you were attuned to. 59 00:02:26,133 --> 00:02:28,667 I'm giving a talk about this subject on Wednesday night. 60 00:02:28,667 --> 00:02:30,234 Perhaps you'd like to come along? 61 00:02:30,234 --> 00:02:32,567 No. 62 00:02:32,567 --> 00:02:34,000 Capricorn? 63 00:02:34,000 --> 00:02:36,300 Sorry, not a capricorn. 64 00:02:36,300 --> 00:02:37,534 I'm so sorry. 65 00:02:37,534 --> 00:02:40,300 May i just apologize from the very depths of my being 66 00:02:40,300 --> 00:02:42,167 for thinking you would have the slightest interest 67 00:02:42,167 --> 00:02:43,601 in anything i had to say. 68 00:02:43,601 --> 00:02:46,234 Don't be silly. It was an honest mistake. 69 00:02:46,234 --> 00:02:47,267 Leo. 70 00:02:47,267 --> 00:02:48,534 Hey... 71 00:02:48,534 --> 00:02:50,968 What you've got to understand about Harry, 72 00:02:50,968 --> 00:02:52,634 he's just had a big breakup. 73 00:02:52,634 --> 00:02:54,501 His self-esteem is not exactly peaking. 74 00:02:54,501 --> 00:02:57,467 I think turning down his lecture may have been the last straw. 75 00:02:57,467 --> 00:02:59,834 Harry... Here's a little exercise 76 00:02:59,834 --> 00:03:02,434 i think might help you confront your problems. 77 00:03:02,434 --> 00:03:05,267 If you go home tonight, sit in front of the mirror 78 00:03:05,267 --> 00:03:07,100 and really, really look at yourself, 79 00:03:07,100 --> 00:03:08,868 you might be a bit more realistic 80 00:03:08,868 --> 00:03:12,400 about which women you ask out in future. 81 00:03:12,400 --> 00:03:14,434 Well, that's it. 82 00:03:14,434 --> 00:03:16,767 Harry. I was being sympathetic. 83 00:03:16,767 --> 00:03:18,267 I was, you saw me. 84 00:03:18,267 --> 00:03:20,133 No disrespect, but i don't think you're capable 85 00:03:20,133 --> 00:03:21,501 of sympathy for someone like me. 86 00:03:21,501 --> 00:03:24,067 I cried at the elephant man. 87 00:03:25,868 --> 00:03:27,701 I'm off. Good night. 88 00:03:30,434 --> 00:03:32,601 You'd better go after him, Walter. 89 00:03:32,601 --> 00:03:34,367 You understand what he's going through. 90 00:03:36,834 --> 00:03:38,834 So, come on. How far did you get? 91 00:03:38,834 --> 00:03:41,601 Well, after we left the bar 92 00:03:41,601 --> 00:03:43,133 i was about to head off, 93 00:03:43,133 --> 00:03:45,400 because we were going in different directions. 94 00:03:45,400 --> 00:03:47,033 It's always Scary when you see 95 00:03:47,033 --> 00:03:48,834 that final corner approaching, isn't it? 96 00:03:48,834 --> 00:03:49,901 And you're thinking, 97 00:03:49,901 --> 00:03:51,667 "did i touch his thigh often enough? 98 00:03:51,667 --> 00:03:53,634 "Did i stare at his mouth long enough? 99 00:03:53,634 --> 00:03:55,400 Did i flick my hair too much?" 100 00:03:55,400 --> 00:03:56,734 Flick your hair? 101 00:03:56,734 --> 00:03:58,667 Yeah, i used to over-flick. 102 00:03:58,667 --> 00:04:00,501 It's so easy to cross the line 103 00:04:00,501 --> 00:04:02,934 between suggesting "flirtatious and approachable," 104 00:04:02,934 --> 00:04:05,367 and suggesting there's something living in your ear. 105 00:04:05,367 --> 00:04:07,234 You don't want to give the impression 106 00:04:07,234 --> 00:04:08,968 you acquire vermin when aroused. 107 00:04:10,234 --> 00:04:11,400 Tonight's hot tip. 108 00:04:11,400 --> 00:04:13,701 This is great. This is so much more detail 109 00:04:13,701 --> 00:04:15,033 than we ever get into. 110 00:04:15,033 --> 00:04:17,267 It's like a whole pit stop for women. 111 00:04:17,267 --> 00:04:19,200 Patrick, why are you here? 112 00:04:19,200 --> 00:04:21,667 He needs a pretend-wife. Just for tonight. 113 00:04:21,667 --> 00:04:23,634 What? It's a long story. 114 00:04:23,634 --> 00:04:24,834 Who cares? Details, Jane. 115 00:04:24,834 --> 00:04:27,400 Okay. We were walking along and then-- 116 00:04:27,400 --> 00:04:31,300 don't ask me how it happened-- 117 00:04:31,300 --> 00:04:33,467 but suddenly, out of nowhere, 118 00:04:33,467 --> 00:04:36,634 we were in each other's arms. 119 00:04:45,567 --> 00:04:47,734 You look totally amazed. 120 00:04:47,734 --> 00:04:52,033 Hard to tell if it's the kiss or the impact of the wall. 121 00:04:52,033 --> 00:04:55,634 Oh, that's so sweet. 122 00:04:58,100 --> 00:04:59,234 What are you doing? 123 00:04:59,234 --> 00:05:01,133 What's wrong? 124 00:05:01,133 --> 00:05:03,267 Well, you were a bit horrible to my friends. 125 00:05:03,267 --> 00:05:06,000 Oh. Of course i wasn't. 126 00:05:07,601 --> 00:05:08,868 Jane, no! 127 00:05:08,868 --> 00:05:10,534 Oh, bill. 128 00:05:10,534 --> 00:05:13,234 Do you want to do something completely wicked, huh? 129 00:05:13,234 --> 00:05:16,901 Doesn't it excite you, the idea of getting caught? 130 00:05:16,901 --> 00:05:19,434 Come on, bill, i can tell you're excited. 131 00:05:19,434 --> 00:05:22,567 And anyway, Walter can keep watch. 132 00:05:25,100 --> 00:05:27,200 Actually, do you mind if i just go? 133 00:05:27,200 --> 00:05:28,868 No, no. 134 00:05:28,868 --> 00:05:30,667 I'll see you in a minute, okay? 135 00:05:30,667 --> 00:05:32,634 Yeah, sure. 136 00:05:32,634 --> 00:05:34,634 A minute? 137 00:05:34,634 --> 00:05:36,467 Walter's a really good guy, Jane. 138 00:05:36,467 --> 00:05:38,567 Oh, he's great. 139 00:05:38,567 --> 00:05:40,434 You'd hardly know he was there. 140 00:05:40,434 --> 00:05:43,767 Listen, I'd really like to see you again. 141 00:05:43,767 --> 00:05:44,868 Good. 142 00:05:44,868 --> 00:05:46,934 But for now... 143 00:05:46,934 --> 00:05:48,701 I'm going to check if Walter's okay. 144 00:05:49,834 --> 00:05:50,901 Oh. 145 00:05:52,267 --> 00:05:53,801 I'll call you. 146 00:05:53,801 --> 00:05:57,033 Yes. Right. 147 00:06:00,400 --> 00:06:02,667 You do know where to find my phone number? 148 00:06:04,000 --> 00:06:05,000 My right thigh. 149 00:06:06,734 --> 00:06:08,300 Hope i didn't smudge it. 150 00:06:09,400 --> 00:06:10,534 See ya. 151 00:06:15,267 --> 00:06:16,701 Jane? 152 00:06:16,701 --> 00:06:19,000 Dinner tomorrow night, my place? 153 00:06:19,000 --> 00:06:20,968 Your place? 154 00:06:20,968 --> 00:06:22,167 I'm a great cook. 155 00:06:22,167 --> 00:06:25,400 I'll help. I'm a great dessert. 156 00:06:27,801 --> 00:06:30,234 So that's nice, gorgeous, and can cook? 157 00:06:30,234 --> 00:06:32,234 So rare to find someone like that 158 00:06:32,234 --> 00:06:34,801 who doesn't have, you know, breasts. 159 00:06:35,801 --> 00:06:37,467 So what's your plan of attack now? 160 00:06:37,467 --> 00:06:39,734 You're gonna be at his door in an hour. 161 00:06:39,734 --> 00:06:41,501 It's all down to the dress now. 162 00:06:41,501 --> 00:06:43,701 Yeah. The dress is the clincher. 163 00:06:43,701 --> 00:06:45,667 Sorry, am i in a dress conversation? 164 00:06:45,667 --> 00:06:47,734 I can't be in a dress conversation. 165 00:06:47,734 --> 00:06:49,567 The moment you take your coat off 166 00:06:49,567 --> 00:06:51,133 and he sees what you're wearing, 167 00:06:51,133 --> 00:06:52,767 that's when it's all decided. 168 00:06:52,767 --> 00:06:53,934 So what did you choose? 169 00:06:53,934 --> 00:06:55,701 I've got so many, that's the trouble. 170 00:06:55,701 --> 00:06:57,667 Took me all day to narrow it down 171 00:06:57,667 --> 00:06:58,701 to the main contenders. 172 00:06:58,701 --> 00:07:00,167 Oh, God. 173 00:07:01,667 --> 00:07:02,667 Which were? 174 00:07:02,667 --> 00:07:04,334 Well... 175 00:07:04,334 --> 00:07:05,434 ( rings ) 176 00:07:09,667 --> 00:07:10,667 hi. 177 00:07:11,667 --> 00:07:12,701 Hi. 178 00:07:12,701 --> 00:07:16,067 Dress one--Black and sort of see-through. 179 00:07:16,067 --> 00:07:17,434 Ort of see-through. 180 00:07:17,434 --> 00:07:18,667 It's quite subtle. 181 00:07:18,667 --> 00:07:20,634 You can't really tell what you're looking at. 182 00:07:20,634 --> 00:07:21,868 It's a dress that says, 183 00:07:21,868 --> 00:07:24,934 "hello, boys. Next time bring a torch." 184 00:07:27,067 --> 00:07:28,767 Does a torch work on dresses? 185 00:07:28,767 --> 00:07:29,901 Patrick! 186 00:07:31,167 --> 00:07:32,400 And dress two? 187 00:07:32,400 --> 00:07:33,634 Come in. 188 00:07:35,234 --> 00:07:36,701 Thank you. 189 00:07:36,701 --> 00:07:41,601 Dress two is the absolute peak of my "skimpy" collection. 190 00:07:43,200 --> 00:07:45,467 I love dress two. 191 00:07:45,467 --> 00:07:47,067 Every time you inhale, 192 00:07:47,067 --> 00:07:49,200 you can see the hope in their eyes. 193 00:07:49,200 --> 00:07:51,801 That's the one. Definitely. 194 00:07:51,801 --> 00:07:52,901 Patrick. 195 00:07:52,901 --> 00:07:54,000 What's dress three? 196 00:07:54,000 --> 00:07:55,534 There is no dress three. 197 00:07:55,534 --> 00:07:57,234 It's dress two then. It's got to be. 198 00:07:57,234 --> 00:07:59,334 Dress one. Always go for subtlety. 199 00:07:59,334 --> 00:08:02,234 So, come on. Time for the grand unveiling. 200 00:08:03,300 --> 00:08:06,067 Which one did you choose? 201 00:08:06,067 --> 00:08:07,968 Dress three. 202 00:08:14,234 --> 00:08:15,501 Nice. 203 00:08:15,501 --> 00:08:16,968 You look great. 204 00:08:17,968 --> 00:08:19,400 So do you. 205 00:08:19,400 --> 00:08:21,200 You said there was no dress three. 206 00:08:22,434 --> 00:08:23,534 There isn't. 207 00:08:26,901 --> 00:08:28,667 You've got nothing on under your coat? 208 00:08:30,400 --> 00:08:31,567 Don't wait up. 209 00:08:37,934 --> 00:08:42,567 Is there somewhere i can leave my coat? 210 00:08:42,567 --> 00:08:44,267 What? Oh, yes, my bedroom. 211 00:08:44,267 --> 00:08:46,467 Your bedroom. 212 00:08:46,467 --> 00:08:49,634 Yeah, everyone's just piled their coats on the bed. 213 00:08:50,767 --> 00:08:51,934 Everyone? 214 00:08:53,400 --> 00:08:54,601 I'll introduce you. 215 00:08:58,501 --> 00:09:01,167 Everyone, this is Jane. 216 00:09:01,167 --> 00:09:03,834 Hello. Hi, Jane. 217 00:09:03,834 --> 00:09:05,934 ( weakly ) hello, everyone. 218 00:09:05,934 --> 00:09:07,767 Listen, bit of a kitchen crisis. 219 00:09:07,767 --> 00:09:10,200 Can i let you just dive in and say hi? 220 00:09:10,200 --> 00:09:11,767 Oh, Harry? 221 00:09:11,767 --> 00:09:14,067 Yeah? Could you take Jane's coat? 222 00:09:16,000 --> 00:09:17,601 A pretend-wife? 223 00:09:18,734 --> 00:09:19,734 A torch? 224 00:09:21,701 --> 00:09:22,701 Apparently. 225 00:09:22,701 --> 00:09:24,701 Torches work on dresses? 226 00:09:26,434 --> 00:09:28,734 So what do you need a pretend-wife for? 227 00:09:28,734 --> 00:09:30,634 It's to do with some bloke at his office. 228 00:09:30,634 --> 00:09:32,701 No, no, no. Different office, different firm. 229 00:09:32,701 --> 00:09:35,200 This guy, Ivan... 230 00:09:36,567 --> 00:09:38,367 I see him at conferences and stuff. 231 00:09:38,367 --> 00:09:40,667 He's the same level as me, but we're always competing. 232 00:09:40,667 --> 00:09:42,734 Cars, office size, toilet breaks. 233 00:09:44,434 --> 00:09:45,834 "Toilet breaks"? 234 00:09:45,834 --> 00:09:49,701 I can retain for seven more hours than he can. 235 00:09:51,968 --> 00:09:54,167 You really used to go out with this guy? 236 00:09:54,167 --> 00:09:55,400 No idea. 237 00:09:55,400 --> 00:09:57,601 You've erased all other men from my memory. 238 00:09:58,601 --> 00:09:59,968 Must have taken a while. 239 00:10:06,601 --> 00:10:08,133 Anyway, Ivan is always going on 240 00:10:08,133 --> 00:10:11,334 about this really gorgeous woman he's married. 241 00:10:11,334 --> 00:10:12,467 One day i cracked. 242 00:10:12,467 --> 00:10:14,434 So you invented a whole marriage? 243 00:10:14,434 --> 00:10:15,901 What, competitively? 244 00:10:15,901 --> 00:10:17,267 What choice did i have? 245 00:10:17,267 --> 00:10:19,467 I'm 33, single, with neat hair. 246 00:10:19,467 --> 00:10:20,868 Even i think I'm gay. 247 00:10:23,167 --> 00:10:25,701 The point is, I'm meeting Ivan for a drink tonight, 248 00:10:25,701 --> 00:10:27,501 and, oh! He's bringing his wife. 249 00:10:27,501 --> 00:10:28,801 Now that's competitive. 250 00:10:28,801 --> 00:10:30,934 So i can't turn up without a wife. 251 00:10:30,934 --> 00:10:32,968 How would that look? It would be like 252 00:10:32,968 --> 00:10:35,834 turning up at the golf club without a car. 253 00:10:35,834 --> 00:10:37,934 You know what's great about skirts? 254 00:10:39,968 --> 00:10:42,901 When a woman's wearing a skirt, you know-- 255 00:10:42,901 --> 00:10:44,734 you know that, somewhere in that room, 256 00:10:44,734 --> 00:10:47,934 shifting all the time, there is the v.a.a.-- 257 00:10:47,934 --> 00:10:50,067 the visual access angle. 258 00:10:51,634 --> 00:10:55,467 A clear line of sight right to base camp. 259 00:10:55,467 --> 00:10:58,000 You just have to switch chairs, right, 260 00:10:58,000 --> 00:10:59,868 or maybe move your head a bit. 261 00:10:59,868 --> 00:11:01,767 Or accidentally fall on the floor. 262 00:11:01,767 --> 00:11:04,334 And there'll be nothing but clear air between you 263 00:11:04,334 --> 00:11:06,367 and intimate sighting number one. 264 00:11:12,367 --> 00:11:14,400 Sorry. I was just thinking about skirts. 265 00:11:16,067 --> 00:11:18,067 So why didn't you just bring your secretary? 266 00:11:18,067 --> 00:11:19,334 Oh, how would that work? 267 00:11:19,334 --> 00:11:21,400 I'd have to bandage up her face or something. 268 00:11:23,467 --> 00:11:25,200 You mean, he'd recognize her? 269 00:11:25,200 --> 00:11:26,200 No. 270 00:11:28,267 --> 00:11:30,601 Bartender: Is there a Steve Taylor in this bar? 271 00:11:30,601 --> 00:11:32,667 There's a phone call for Steve Taylor. 272 00:11:32,667 --> 00:11:34,501 Here. 273 00:11:34,501 --> 00:11:36,067 Okay. 274 00:11:36,067 --> 00:11:37,067 What? 275 00:11:37,067 --> 00:11:38,100 I'll do it. 276 00:11:38,100 --> 00:11:39,501 Oh, great. 277 00:11:39,501 --> 00:11:41,634 You know what? 278 00:11:41,634 --> 00:11:43,467 I want to meet Ivan. 279 00:11:45,801 --> 00:11:46,868 Hello? 280 00:11:46,868 --> 00:11:48,701 Steve, I've gone to a dinner party, 281 00:11:48,701 --> 00:11:50,501 and I'm accidentally naked. 282 00:11:51,868 --> 00:11:52,868 I-I'm sorry? 283 00:11:52,868 --> 00:11:54,601 This guy's invited me for dinner 284 00:11:54,601 --> 00:11:56,868 and i didn't think there'd be anyone else here. 285 00:11:56,868 --> 00:11:59,634 Steve, I'm completely naked under my coat. 286 00:12:01,033 --> 00:12:03,167 What's wrong? It's Jane. 287 00:12:03,167 --> 00:12:05,634 She's stuck naked in someone else's flat. 288 00:12:05,634 --> 00:12:06,634 Naked? 289 00:12:06,634 --> 00:12:07,667 Completely! 290 00:12:07,667 --> 00:12:09,267 She's only got her coat. 291 00:12:09,267 --> 00:12:11,334 Can i speak to her? Yeah. 292 00:12:12,634 --> 00:12:14,300 Hi, Jane. It's Jeff. 293 00:12:14,300 --> 00:12:15,601 Hi, Jeff. 294 00:12:17,100 --> 00:12:18,267 Thanks. 295 00:12:20,267 --> 00:12:21,267 Jeff? 296 00:12:21,267 --> 00:12:23,667 Uh, he's just gone to the loo. 297 00:12:24,734 --> 00:12:26,400 Might be some time. 298 00:12:26,400 --> 00:12:28,234 What am i gonna do? 299 00:12:28,234 --> 00:12:30,367 What happens if i take off my coat? 300 00:12:30,367 --> 00:12:32,234 I really like this guy. 301 00:12:32,234 --> 00:12:35,934 Well, he'll certainly get that impression. 302 00:12:35,934 --> 00:12:37,567 Not helpful, Steve. 303 00:12:37,567 --> 00:12:39,334 Well, why are you phoning me? 304 00:12:39,334 --> 00:12:42,100 I tried the girls. Their mobiles are off. 305 00:12:42,100 --> 00:12:44,767 You can't phone me when you're naked. You're an ex. 306 00:12:44,767 --> 00:12:46,400 So?! 307 00:12:46,400 --> 00:12:47,834 Well, Susan's here. 308 00:12:47,834 --> 00:12:50,567 What if she comes over and finds out you're naked? 309 00:12:50,567 --> 00:12:51,634 Susan's paranoid about you. 310 00:12:51,634 --> 00:12:54,067 No, Steve. She's paranoid about you. 311 00:12:54,067 --> 00:12:56,868 Look, I'm in the middle of a serious crisis here. 312 00:12:56,868 --> 00:12:59,534 I don't have time to discuss your relationship problems. 313 00:12:59,534 --> 00:13:02,300 What "relationship problems"? 314 00:13:02,300 --> 00:13:05,033 We don't have any "relationship problems." 315 00:13:05,033 --> 00:13:06,534 Have you proposed yet? 316 00:13:07,868 --> 00:13:09,400 We have an understanding. 317 00:13:09,400 --> 00:13:11,868 Okay, there's your problem. 318 00:13:11,868 --> 00:13:15,400 Steve, I'm naked and surrounded by strangers! 319 00:13:15,400 --> 00:13:17,701 What's wrong with having an understanding? 320 00:13:17,701 --> 00:13:19,667 Oh, for Christ's sake! 321 00:13:21,601 --> 00:13:23,067 Are you all right, mate? 322 00:13:28,100 --> 00:13:29,501 Ivan, hi. 323 00:13:29,501 --> 00:13:30,734 Patrick. One minute-- 324 00:13:30,734 --> 00:13:32,567 just checking I've got the right place. 325 00:13:32,567 --> 00:13:34,367 Excellent. Massive. 326 00:13:37,467 --> 00:13:38,467 Okay, she's coming. 327 00:13:38,467 --> 00:13:40,567 Right. What have you told Ivan about me? 328 00:13:40,567 --> 00:13:42,901 You won a beauty contest when you were 17, 329 00:13:42,901 --> 00:13:45,033 you worked as an airline stewardess, a nurse, 330 00:13:45,033 --> 00:13:46,234 and a catalogue model. 331 00:13:46,234 --> 00:13:50,234 Your bra size is 38-d, and your hobby is massage. 332 00:13:50,234 --> 00:13:52,534 Oh, and if it comes up, you're completely shaved. 333 00:13:57,667 --> 00:13:58,701 Okay. 334 00:13:58,701 --> 00:13:59,901 What's my name? 335 00:13:59,901 --> 00:14:02,100 Well, just choose any one you like. 336 00:14:03,200 --> 00:14:04,734 I can't believe you're doing this. 337 00:14:04,734 --> 00:14:07,000 Patrick. Ivan. 338 00:14:07,000 --> 00:14:08,834 Nice place, like this a lot. 339 00:14:08,834 --> 00:14:10,300 Great. 340 00:14:10,300 --> 00:14:13,434 Oh, and this is my wife, Miranda. 341 00:14:16,801 --> 00:14:19,133 And you must be Patrick. 342 00:14:19,133 --> 00:14:21,133 Hello. Heard loads. 343 00:14:27,067 --> 00:14:28,367 Um...hello. 344 00:14:28,367 --> 00:14:29,834 Hello. 345 00:14:30,834 --> 00:14:31,901 Sorry. And, uh-- 346 00:14:31,901 --> 00:14:33,434 ( clears throat ) 347 00:14:33,434 --> 00:14:34,834 this is my wife... 348 00:14:34,834 --> 00:14:36,200 Susan. 349 00:14:40,200 --> 00:14:42,767 It is good to meet you at last. 350 00:14:44,334 --> 00:14:45,767 Uh, no. Hang on, you see-- 351 00:14:45,767 --> 00:14:47,300 yeah, that's my wife, all right. 352 00:14:47,300 --> 00:14:48,300 Aren't you, darling? 353 00:14:51,868 --> 00:14:52,868 No actually, listen-- 354 00:14:52,868 --> 00:14:54,400 do you know, 355 00:14:54,400 --> 00:14:56,667 you're exactly as i was expecting. 356 00:14:56,667 --> 00:14:58,501 No, you see, the thing-- 357 00:14:58,501 --> 00:15:00,000 sorry, what do you mean? 358 00:15:00,000 --> 00:15:03,200 Well, silly old Ivan here thought you were going to be 359 00:15:03,200 --> 00:15:05,167 some kind of sex bomb. 360 00:15:05,167 --> 00:15:06,667 ( both laughing ) 361 00:15:06,667 --> 00:15:08,767 look what he's got me wearing. 362 00:15:08,767 --> 00:15:10,067 But here you are. 363 00:15:11,167 --> 00:15:13,300 I mean, you're just so sweet, aren't you? 364 00:15:13,300 --> 00:15:16,000 "I wish i can do sweet," I'm always saying. 365 00:15:16,000 --> 00:15:17,334 Aren't i, dear? 366 00:15:20,133 --> 00:15:22,033 What a pity. 367 00:15:22,033 --> 00:15:23,267 I'm sorry? 368 00:15:23,267 --> 00:15:26,133 Didn't you want a ring on your finger? 369 00:15:26,133 --> 00:15:29,868 Are you one of those girls who finds that too committing? 370 00:15:29,868 --> 00:15:32,868 Personally, i think my commitment rings 371 00:15:32,868 --> 00:15:35,100 are deeply erotic. 372 00:15:39,067 --> 00:15:40,934 Not as erotic as mine. 373 00:15:52,000 --> 00:15:53,400 ( laughing ) 374 00:15:53,400 --> 00:15:54,701 i didn't marry her. 375 00:15:59,100 --> 00:16:01,467 I won't go down without a fight. 376 00:16:01,467 --> 00:16:04,200 Well, that will be why, then. 377 00:16:08,567 --> 00:16:10,601 I better just go and, um, you know. 378 00:16:10,601 --> 00:16:12,767 Yeah. 379 00:16:12,767 --> 00:16:15,334 I didn't know he had a blonde. I needed a blonde. 380 00:16:15,334 --> 00:16:17,234 You were my first choice for pretend-wife, 381 00:16:17,234 --> 00:16:18,501 you're just not blonde enough. 382 00:16:18,501 --> 00:16:20,334 Do you think i want everyone to think 383 00:16:20,334 --> 00:16:21,767 I'm some mad, lonely, desperate woman? 384 00:16:21,767 --> 00:16:23,834 Of course you don't. It's just bad luck. 385 00:16:26,567 --> 00:16:27,934 "I didn't marry her." 386 00:16:27,934 --> 00:16:29,968 How do you think that makes me look? 387 00:16:29,968 --> 00:16:31,267 I had to say something. You slapped me! 388 00:16:31,267 --> 00:16:33,167 Twice. Once. 389 00:16:36,067 --> 00:16:37,267 Don't argue. 390 00:16:40,267 --> 00:16:42,667 What is wrong with having an "understanding"? 391 00:16:42,667 --> 00:16:44,067 Well, have you actually told her 392 00:16:44,067 --> 00:16:45,234 that you're gonna marry her? 393 00:16:45,234 --> 00:16:47,033 In my own way. 394 00:16:47,033 --> 00:16:49,234 Your "own way"? 395 00:16:49,234 --> 00:16:51,834 Well, she accidentally overheard me saying it on the phone 396 00:16:51,834 --> 00:16:54,367 when i thought i was talking to my ex-girlfriend. 397 00:16:56,534 --> 00:16:59,000 No offense, and of course it's none of my business, 398 00:16:59,000 --> 00:17:01,434 but that could be the worst proposal in human history. 399 00:17:01,434 --> 00:17:02,534 Steve. 400 00:17:02,534 --> 00:17:04,367 You're gonna have to be my husband. 401 00:17:04,367 --> 00:17:06,000 Patrick prefers blondes. 402 00:17:06,000 --> 00:17:07,400 I love this bar. 403 00:17:08,400 --> 00:17:09,834 I'm sorry? 404 00:17:09,834 --> 00:17:12,501 Patrick chose Susan for his pretend-wife. 405 00:17:12,501 --> 00:17:14,167 I need an emergency pretend-husband. 406 00:17:14,167 --> 00:17:15,300 You'll have to do. 407 00:17:17,033 --> 00:17:19,200 He can't have Susan for his pretend-wife. 408 00:17:19,200 --> 00:17:20,968 She's my almost-fiancã©e. 409 00:17:20,968 --> 00:17:22,901 You still haven't proposed? 410 00:17:23,901 --> 00:17:25,601 We have an understanding! 411 00:17:26,767 --> 00:17:28,534 Yeah, right. An understanding. 412 00:17:28,534 --> 00:17:30,567 I don't want to be your pretend-husband. 413 00:17:30,567 --> 00:17:31,801 I don't want you either, 414 00:17:31,801 --> 00:17:33,701 but there's absolutely nobody else available. 415 00:17:36,367 --> 00:17:37,901 It has to be you, Steve. 416 00:17:40,167 --> 00:17:41,901 Are you sure i can't take your coat? 417 00:17:41,901 --> 00:17:43,901 Oh, buy a magazine! 418 00:17:46,801 --> 00:17:47,801 What? 419 00:17:47,801 --> 00:17:50,300 Sorry, nothing. 420 00:17:50,300 --> 00:17:52,334 You know, you're extremely difficult to talk to. 421 00:17:52,334 --> 00:17:54,467 Well, stop trying to undress me, then. 422 00:17:55,567 --> 00:17:57,767 Sorry. I'm sorry again. 423 00:17:57,767 --> 00:18:00,334 You seem very uncomfortable. Is there a problem? 424 00:18:00,334 --> 00:18:03,267 No, no. No problem. 425 00:18:04,334 --> 00:18:05,968 So it's just that you're stuck talking 426 00:18:05,968 --> 00:18:08,000 to the least attractive guy you've ever seen. 427 00:18:08,000 --> 00:18:10,133 Yeah, that's all it is. 428 00:18:13,767 --> 00:18:17,234 Yeah. Well, I'll save you any further discomfort, then. 429 00:18:17,234 --> 00:18:18,367 For the record, 430 00:18:18,367 --> 00:18:20,400 i have absolutely no interest in undressing you, 431 00:18:20,400 --> 00:18:22,434 and believe it or not, I've spent absolutely 432 00:18:22,434 --> 00:18:24,400 no time whatsoever imagining you naked. 433 00:18:25,667 --> 00:18:28,701 Well actually, that is a bit unbelievable, isn't it? 434 00:18:38,501 --> 00:18:39,534 Jane. 435 00:18:39,534 --> 00:18:41,767 You're not leaving, are you? 436 00:18:42,801 --> 00:18:43,968 Leaving? 437 00:18:43,968 --> 00:18:45,767 Why would you think i was leaving? 438 00:18:45,767 --> 00:18:48,434 You've got your coat on and you're opening the door. 439 00:18:48,434 --> 00:18:52,033 Well, hello, mr. Jump-to-conclusions. 440 00:18:52,033 --> 00:18:54,767 Listen, i was just worrying about something. 441 00:18:54,767 --> 00:18:56,300 When i invited you to dinner, 442 00:18:56,300 --> 00:18:59,534 you didn't think it would be just the two of us, did you? 443 00:18:59,534 --> 00:19:01,200 No, no. Not at all. 444 00:19:01,200 --> 00:19:03,534 No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. 445 00:19:03,534 --> 00:19:06,501 Just the two of us? I never thought that. Not me. 446 00:19:06,501 --> 00:19:09,467 What a laugh! 447 00:19:09,467 --> 00:19:12,234 It's just that i like to take things kind of slowly. 448 00:19:12,234 --> 00:19:14,167 Slow? So do i. That's great. 449 00:19:14,167 --> 00:19:15,968 Yeah, give me some of that slow. 450 00:19:15,968 --> 00:19:18,300 And i just thought you might be slipping out 451 00:19:18,300 --> 00:19:19,567 because you were disappointed. 452 00:19:19,567 --> 00:19:22,067 No, no. Not at all. 453 00:19:22,067 --> 00:19:25,801 What a crazy, mad, insane, demented...sick idea. 454 00:19:27,934 --> 00:19:28,934 Please stay. 455 00:19:28,934 --> 00:19:30,167 Okay. 456 00:19:31,868 --> 00:19:33,868 Oh, what are you doing? 457 00:19:33,868 --> 00:19:36,133 I thought you might like to take off your coat. 458 00:19:36,133 --> 00:19:37,467 My coat? 459 00:19:37,467 --> 00:19:40,767 What happened to taking things slowly? 460 00:19:40,767 --> 00:19:42,667 I'm sorry? 461 00:19:42,667 --> 00:19:47,267 It's our first date. Let's not go coat-crazy! 462 00:19:47,267 --> 00:19:48,400 What?! 463 00:19:48,400 --> 00:19:49,934 Where's your bathroom? My bathroom? 464 00:19:49,934 --> 00:19:51,200 Is this it? 465 00:19:51,200 --> 00:19:54,000 I just want to pop to your bathroom for a minute. 466 00:19:54,000 --> 00:19:56,601 Just to freshen up, nothing horrid. 467 00:20:08,667 --> 00:20:09,901 Oh! 468 00:20:09,901 --> 00:20:10,901 Hello. 469 00:20:10,901 --> 00:20:12,734 Hello. 470 00:20:12,734 --> 00:20:14,234 I'm Emily. 471 00:20:14,234 --> 00:20:18,100 Hello, Emily. Are you in the next flat? 472 00:20:18,100 --> 00:20:19,300 No. Oh. 473 00:20:19,300 --> 00:20:20,434 You are. 474 00:20:20,434 --> 00:20:23,767 Oh, right. Right. 475 00:20:23,767 --> 00:20:25,567 Emily... 476 00:20:25,567 --> 00:20:28,834 Does your mother have any nice dresses? 477 00:20:28,834 --> 00:20:31,567 ( Patrick laughing ) 478 00:20:31,567 --> 00:20:33,834 that's the thing about marriage, isn't it? 479 00:20:33,834 --> 00:20:35,400 It's about sacrifice. 480 00:20:35,400 --> 00:20:37,834 Yes, absolutely. Sacrifice. 481 00:20:37,834 --> 00:20:41,033 Yeah, i agree with you totally. One hundred percent sacrifice. 482 00:20:41,033 --> 00:20:42,367 A hundred and ten percent. 483 00:20:42,367 --> 00:20:43,434 A hundred and fifteen. 484 00:20:46,300 --> 00:20:49,100 I sacrificed so much to be with Ivan. 485 00:20:49,100 --> 00:20:53,367 My acting, my modeling, my musical career, 486 00:20:53,367 --> 00:20:54,934 my novel-writing. 487 00:20:54,934 --> 00:20:57,901 I went through a phase where i just sacrificed everything. 488 00:20:59,133 --> 00:21:01,767 Lucky you didn't bump into any goats, then. 489 00:21:03,834 --> 00:21:07,100 Excellent dress. I think i can see nipples. 490 00:21:09,467 --> 00:21:12,000 How could she sit there, pretending to be a couple? 491 00:21:12,000 --> 00:21:13,901 We've got an understanding. 492 00:21:13,901 --> 00:21:15,734 Steve, we've got to get over there, 493 00:21:15,734 --> 00:21:18,067 and you've got to pretend to be my husband. 494 00:21:18,067 --> 00:21:20,367 I can't have complete strangers thinking I'm some kind 495 00:21:20,367 --> 00:21:21,801 of man-repellent psychopath. 496 00:21:21,801 --> 00:21:24,601 Bad enough from the people who know me. 497 00:21:24,601 --> 00:21:27,133 So, Susan, you must have made lots of sacrifices 498 00:21:27,133 --> 00:21:28,601 to be with Patrick. 499 00:21:28,601 --> 00:21:31,167 Probably not as many as you did, darling. 500 00:21:31,167 --> 00:21:32,701 Oh, i bet she did, actually. 501 00:21:32,701 --> 00:21:33,868 Didn't you, darling? 502 00:21:33,868 --> 00:21:35,601 My little filly, 503 00:21:35,601 --> 00:21:38,434 she made sacrifices all over the place. 504 00:21:38,434 --> 00:21:39,434 Didn't you, Susan? 505 00:21:40,601 --> 00:21:42,701 Absolutely, Patrick, honey. 506 00:21:42,701 --> 00:21:44,834 What do you think was your biggest sacrifice? 507 00:21:44,834 --> 00:21:47,934 Your number one, seriously massive, 508 00:21:47,934 --> 00:21:50,534 senior executive, corner-office sacrifice? 509 00:21:50,534 --> 00:21:51,601 What would that be? 510 00:21:53,334 --> 00:21:55,300 Well, that would have to be... 511 00:21:55,300 --> 00:21:56,367 My penis. 512 00:22:05,634 --> 00:22:06,634 Kidding!!! 513 00:22:07,868 --> 00:22:09,601 I've still got my penis. 514 00:22:12,300 --> 00:22:13,334 Kidding!!! 515 00:22:14,501 --> 00:22:15,701 Never had a penis, 516 00:22:15,701 --> 00:22:17,868 and that's what we've got in common. 517 00:22:19,801 --> 00:22:22,367 ( chuckles nervously ) 518 00:22:22,367 --> 00:22:25,701 look, all I'm asking you to do is sneak into mummy's room 519 00:22:25,701 --> 00:22:27,334 and steal an expensive-looking dress. 520 00:22:27,334 --> 00:22:29,467 Mummy doesn't have expensive dresses. 521 00:22:29,467 --> 00:22:31,968 Mummy says we can't have expensive things 522 00:22:31,968 --> 00:22:34,801 because of the government and daddy's girlfriend. 523 00:22:36,234 --> 00:22:39,267 I only get little presents and no crisps. 524 00:22:39,267 --> 00:22:40,968 Right. 525 00:22:40,968 --> 00:22:42,801 What do mummy's dresses look like? 526 00:22:42,801 --> 00:22:44,667 Fat with big flowers. 527 00:22:46,033 --> 00:22:48,367 Okay. Let's forget about mummy. 528 00:22:48,367 --> 00:22:49,901 Do you have a big sister? 529 00:22:49,901 --> 00:22:51,300 An au pair? 530 00:22:51,300 --> 00:22:53,033 Is daddy's girlfriend staying? 531 00:22:54,534 --> 00:22:58,067 Melissa's got dresses. She's got lots. 532 00:22:58,067 --> 00:22:59,133 And what age is Melissa? 533 00:22:59,133 --> 00:23:01,667 Twenty-two and three quarters. 534 00:23:01,667 --> 00:23:04,300 Oh, that's perfect! So am i. 535 00:23:05,801 --> 00:23:08,033 What's her nicest dress? 536 00:23:08,033 --> 00:23:09,834 Her little Black one. 537 00:23:09,834 --> 00:23:13,467 That sounds lovely. Could you go and get it? 538 00:23:13,467 --> 00:23:14,934 And don't tell Melissa. 539 00:23:14,934 --> 00:23:16,501 Okay. 540 00:23:16,501 --> 00:23:18,400 Bill: Jane? Yes? 541 00:23:18,400 --> 00:23:19,667 Are you okay in there? 542 00:23:19,667 --> 00:23:21,434 Still freshening up. 543 00:23:21,434 --> 00:23:24,367 It's just... Taking longer than i expected. 544 00:23:26,133 --> 00:23:27,501 Jane. 545 00:23:27,501 --> 00:23:29,667 Did you get the dress? Yes. 546 00:23:29,667 --> 00:23:31,334 Can i have it?! No. 547 00:23:33,067 --> 00:23:34,834 So, Susan, do you work, 548 00:23:34,834 --> 00:23:37,067 or does Patrick manage to support you? 549 00:23:37,067 --> 00:23:38,868 Well, i think it's important 550 00:23:38,868 --> 00:23:40,534 for women to keep their independence. 551 00:23:40,534 --> 00:23:42,133 We have a marriage of equals. 552 00:23:42,133 --> 00:23:43,934 ( scoffs ) she's just kidding again. 553 00:23:44,968 --> 00:23:47,434 I often thought I'd like a part-time job 554 00:23:47,434 --> 00:23:49,434 as a top-flight fashion consultant. 555 00:23:49,434 --> 00:23:52,000 You see, I'm very interested in clothes. 556 00:23:52,000 --> 00:23:54,567 Really? You should wear some. 557 00:24:06,067 --> 00:24:08,334 How do you do that? 558 00:24:08,334 --> 00:24:09,334 Do what? 559 00:24:20,133 --> 00:24:21,567 ( laughs ) 560 00:24:21,567 --> 00:24:22,567 men. 561 00:24:23,834 --> 00:24:25,667 No, there was this beam of light. 562 00:24:25,667 --> 00:24:29,667 You are so poetic. 563 00:24:29,667 --> 00:24:31,634 Actually, i think it's coming from over there. 564 00:24:31,634 --> 00:24:33,901 Yeah, it'll be some guy with a torch, as usual. 565 00:24:35,701 --> 00:24:39,868 So you don't mind your husband groping my wife, then? 566 00:24:39,868 --> 00:24:41,300 Well, i-- no, no. 567 00:24:41,300 --> 00:24:45,200 It's, um...it's fine. We're not exclusive, either. 568 00:24:49,167 --> 00:24:51,133 Please, Emily! 569 00:24:51,133 --> 00:24:53,467 Melissa needs her dress. 570 00:24:53,467 --> 00:24:55,300 Okay, listen. Here's an idea. 571 00:24:55,300 --> 00:24:57,267 Melissa can have my coat. 572 00:24:57,267 --> 00:25:00,133 You give me her dress, and she can have my coat. 573 00:25:00,133 --> 00:25:01,901 Coats are better than dresses. 574 00:25:01,901 --> 00:25:03,734 Okay. 575 00:25:03,734 --> 00:25:06,234 Okay. Give me the dress. 576 00:25:06,234 --> 00:25:08,634 My mummy's coming! 577 00:25:08,634 --> 00:25:09,968 Well quickly, then! Quickly! 578 00:25:14,601 --> 00:25:15,968 Come on, come on! 579 00:25:20,234 --> 00:25:21,734 Here's the dress. 580 00:25:23,367 --> 00:25:24,367 Good night, Jane. 581 00:25:33,434 --> 00:25:35,067 Oh, come on. 582 00:25:35,067 --> 00:25:38,100 Are you really telling me alittle hottie like you 583 00:25:38,100 --> 00:25:39,300 has never swapped? 584 00:25:39,300 --> 00:25:40,501 "Swapped"? 585 00:25:40,501 --> 00:25:42,567 I think Patrick's quite into the idea. 586 00:25:42,567 --> 00:25:44,968 No, no. Not at all. Not me. 587 00:25:44,968 --> 00:25:46,467 Unless you'd like to-- 588 00:25:46,467 --> 00:25:47,467 no!!! 589 00:25:48,501 --> 00:25:50,100 Sorry, no. Absolutely not. 590 00:25:50,100 --> 00:25:51,367 I told you, dear. 591 00:25:51,367 --> 00:25:54,434 Not everyone is sophisticated like us. 592 00:25:55,434 --> 00:25:56,767 The thing is, Ivan... 593 00:25:58,167 --> 00:25:59,634 I don't share my woman. 594 00:26:00,767 --> 00:26:02,534 It's like finding the right tennis racket. 595 00:26:02,534 --> 00:26:04,567 Once you've got one you really like using, 596 00:26:04,567 --> 00:26:06,834 you keep on using it until it falls apart 597 00:26:06,834 --> 00:26:08,868 and you have to get a new one. 598 00:26:11,167 --> 00:26:12,400 Only more emotional. 599 00:26:13,400 --> 00:26:15,601 Point is, I'm a one-woman guy, 600 00:26:15,601 --> 00:26:17,167 and Susan's a one-man woman. 601 00:26:17,167 --> 00:26:18,701 Maybe you guys aren't like that, 602 00:26:18,701 --> 00:26:20,067 but then maybe 603 00:26:20,067 --> 00:26:22,167 you guys haven't experienced real love. 604 00:26:24,567 --> 00:26:27,534 Everybody, I'd like you to meet my husband Steve. 605 00:26:29,434 --> 00:26:33,501 Susan, i love you more than i can tell you. 606 00:26:33,501 --> 00:26:34,567 Will you marry me? 607 00:26:38,033 --> 00:26:39,434 Yes. 608 00:26:39,434 --> 00:26:41,200 Yes, yes. Of course i will! 609 00:26:44,968 --> 00:26:46,000 For God's sake! 610 00:26:48,467 --> 00:26:50,834 I thought it was time for the grand gesture. 611 00:26:50,834 --> 00:26:52,567 It is. Let's go home. 612 00:26:52,567 --> 00:26:55,334 Oh, Patrick, I'm sorry about this. 613 00:26:55,334 --> 00:26:56,434 Oh, that's okay. No biggie. 614 00:26:56,434 --> 00:26:57,434 And congratulations! 615 00:27:02,534 --> 00:27:04,067 Oh, well. Easy come, easy go. 616 00:27:04,067 --> 00:27:05,100 Care to join us? 617 00:27:05,100 --> 00:27:06,868 Yeah, why not? 618 00:27:06,868 --> 00:27:09,834 Fancy a fresh drink? 619 00:27:09,834 --> 00:27:12,133 No, I'll just carry on with Susan's. 620 00:27:12,133 --> 00:27:13,834 What were we talking about? 621 00:27:13,834 --> 00:27:16,000 I was asking if you swapped. 622 00:27:17,300 --> 00:27:18,467 Right. 623 00:27:20,167 --> 00:27:21,501 ( laughs ) 624 00:27:21,501 --> 00:27:22,834 what? 625 00:27:22,834 --> 00:27:24,901 She's not even a real blonde. 626 00:27:29,067 --> 00:27:30,367 How would you know? 627 00:27:31,534 --> 00:27:32,534 Thanks. 628 00:27:49,300 --> 00:27:51,634 Okay, the dining room is the first door-- 629 00:27:56,634 --> 00:27:59,701 oh, hello, everyone. 630 00:28:00,868 --> 00:28:02,434 ( clears throat ) 631 00:28:02,434 --> 00:28:04,467 I'm feeling a bit of a chill coming on, 632 00:28:04,467 --> 00:28:08,234 so i thought i might sneak off home and get an early night. 633 00:28:09,567 --> 00:28:10,667 Sorry, bill. 634 00:28:10,667 --> 00:28:12,000 Some other time? 635 00:28:15,934 --> 00:28:17,901 I seemed to have mislaid my coat. 636 00:28:17,901 --> 00:28:20,501 I hope you don't mind if i borrow this one. 637 00:28:22,300 --> 00:28:23,701 Oh, and, Harry? 638 00:28:23,701 --> 00:28:24,801 Yeah? 639 00:28:24,801 --> 00:28:27,267 Stop imagining me naked. 640 00:28:32,801 --> 00:28:35,701 * if you can't make your mind up * 641 00:28:35,701 --> 00:28:41,767 * we'll never get started * 642 00:28:41,767 --> 00:28:44,501 * and i don't wanna wind up * 643 00:28:44,501 --> 00:28:50,434 * being parted, broken-hearted * 644 00:28:50,434 --> 00:28:53,667 * so if you really love me * 645 00:28:53,667 --> 00:28:55,634 * say yes * 646 00:28:55,634 --> 00:28:58,200 * and please don't tell me * 647 00:28:58,200 --> 00:29:02,100 * perhaps, perhaps, perhaps *