1
00:00:08,200 --> 00:00:12,200
♪ They say time will wait for no man

2
00:00:13,000 --> 00:00:16,550
♪ They say time is on my side

3
00:00:18,100 --> 00:00:21,950
♪ I can never make my mind up

4
00:00:22,000 --> 00:00:24,390
♪ Cos it all goes whizzing by

5
00:00:24,440 --> 00:00:27,750
♪ From the cradle to the grave

6
00:00:27,800 --> 00:00:30,270
♪ From the cradle to the grave

7
00:00:30,320 --> 00:00:32,510
♪ I know I won't be a slave

8
00:00:32,560 --> 00:00:34,670
♪ I know I won't be a slave

9
00:00:34,720 --> 00:00:36,830
♪ To the mistakes that I've made

10
00:00:36,880 --> 00:00:39,430
♪ From the cradle to the grave

11
00:00:39,480 --> 00:00:44,990
♪ I won't go home till I'm ready
From the cradle to the grave. ♪

12
00:00:45,040 --> 00:00:47,310
'It was Danny's fault,
he said get the ladder.

13
00:00:47,360 --> 00:00:49,670
'I never said put it up against the bank

14
00:00:49,720 --> 00:00:53,230
'and I never chucked Coxy's
wallet through the window.

15
00:00:53,280 --> 00:00:55,800
'Coxy had to climb in and get it.

16
00:00:56,880 --> 00:00:59,870
'He was so happy when he found
it, but you can't miss out

17
00:00:59,920 --> 00:01:02,920
'on a opportunity like that,
can you? It had to be done.'

18
00:01:04,920 --> 00:01:07,270
- So what happened?
- Well, he had to wait for the police.

19
00:01:07,320 --> 00:01:09,310
They accepted it was a prank gone wrong --

20
00:01:09,360 --> 00:01:11,670
but Coxy, he had to pay fine of £50.

21
00:01:11,720 --> 00:01:12,790
50 quid!

22
00:01:12,840 --> 00:01:14,990
I had to pay for it. Skinted me.

23
00:01:15,040 --> 00:01:16,910
It was funny, though.

24
00:01:17,840 --> 00:01:19,910
Yeah, but you've got to
be careful havin' a laugh.

25
00:01:19,960 --> 00:01:23,310
I remember when we thought it'd be
funny to knock Harry Sarti's hat off.

26
00:01:23,360 --> 00:01:24,710
'Harry was as bald as a coot

27
00:01:24,760 --> 00:01:27,190
'and he wouldn't take his
hat off for love nor money.

28
00:01:27,240 --> 00:01:28,830
'Upended a vicar who tried to make him

29
00:01:28,880 --> 00:01:30,270
'take it off at his mum's funeral.

30
00:01:30,320 --> 00:01:31,990
'Well, it was a challenge, wasn't it?'

31
00:01:32,040 --> 00:01:34,870
Me and my brother Alfie -- this was
before he left the docks, mind --

32
00:01:34,920 --> 00:01:37,950
'measured Harry up when
he was havin' a kip...

33
00:01:38,000 --> 00:01:40,750
'but he'd taken his boots off, see.

34
00:01:40,800 --> 00:01:43,270
'And that was the problem --
we forgot to allow another inch

35
00:01:43,320 --> 00:01:45,150
'and half for his soles.

36
00:01:45,200 --> 00:01:47,760
'The big day came and...'

37
00:01:54,560 --> 00:01:56,150
Shit! Harry, are you all right?

38
00:01:56,200 --> 00:01:58,350
Quick! Lower the hook! Lower the hook!

39
00:01:58,400 --> 00:02:00,510
So you hit your mate on the
head with a crane hook?

40
00:02:00,560 --> 00:02:03,880
Well, that's not what we intended --
it was supposed to knock his hat off.

41
00:02:07,040 --> 00:02:08,710
Get on it, Harry!

42
00:02:09,680 --> 00:02:14,910
That it! That's right, lift him
up. Get it up, come on, come on.

43
00:02:14,960 --> 00:02:17,110
Me hat! Me hat!

44
00:02:17,160 --> 00:02:19,160
Leave your hat, leave it!

45
00:02:20,120 --> 00:02:23,630
Fucking hell! We'll get you another one.

46
00:02:23,680 --> 00:02:26,590
We all know, everybody knows,
you're bald as a door knob.

47
00:02:26,640 --> 00:02:29,750
So, the point is, Harry
shouldn't have been so vain?

48
00:02:29,800 --> 00:02:31,790
Or you should have been more careful?

49
00:02:31,840 --> 00:02:34,950
Neither. The point is, pretty
soon after that happened,

50
00:02:35,000 --> 00:02:36,550
Harry Sarti stopped wearing his hat.

51
00:02:36,600 --> 00:02:37,950
He got rid of that comb-over.

52
00:02:38,000 --> 00:02:41,030
He got a lot more confident about
himself, and two years later

53
00:02:41,080 --> 00:02:43,870
as a result, he run off with
that crane driver's missus.

54
00:02:43,920 --> 00:02:46,960
So, you see, these things you do,
they can accelerate, can't they?

55
00:02:48,680 --> 00:02:50,790
I need to get some scratch together,

56
00:02:50,840 --> 00:02:53,780
supposed to be taking
that Debbie out tonight.

57
00:02:55,760 --> 00:02:57,590
Are you still collecting records?

58
00:02:57,640 --> 00:02:59,030
Yeah.

59
00:02:59,080 --> 00:03:02,950
'Steve was the youngest of a local
family of villains -- the Churchers.'

60
00:03:03,000 --> 00:03:05,790
Oh, blimey, Steve, I
thought I had some old shit.

61
00:03:05,840 --> 00:03:08,350
There must be summink you want to buy?

62
00:03:08,400 --> 00:03:10,830
Oh, yeah, you would have this one --

63
00:03:10,880 --> 00:03:14,950
his poxy first album, you can
get anywhere for 30 pence.

64
00:03:15,000 --> 00:03:18,750
♪ There's a rubber band that
plays tunes out of tune... ♪

65
00:03:18,800 --> 00:03:21,430
'But as Dad said, these
things can accelerate.

66
00:03:21,480 --> 00:03:24,030
'And my foot was just
about to hit the pedal.'

67
00:03:24,080 --> 00:03:25,230
What's this -- your nan's?

68
00:03:25,280 --> 00:03:27,630
You do know cassettes are
only this big these days?

69
00:03:27,680 --> 00:03:29,030
That's a telly cassette.

70
00:03:29,080 --> 00:03:30,310
Telly cassette?

71
00:03:30,360 --> 00:03:31,750
It's for the telly.

72
00:03:31,800 --> 00:03:33,270
Here, look.

73
00:03:42,280 --> 00:03:43,950
What's that?

74
00:03:44,000 --> 00:03:45,940
It's a video recorder.

75
00:03:53,360 --> 00:03:54,670
What's goin' on?

76
00:03:54,720 --> 00:03:57,350
I told you, it's a cassette for
the telly. My mum hates it --

77
00:03:57,400 --> 00:03:59,870
she thinks it's too big for the room.

78
00:03:59,920 --> 00:04:01,310
It's only twenty to three.

79
00:04:01,360 --> 00:04:03,710
How can Rising Damp be
on at twenty to three?

80
00:04:03,760 --> 00:04:04,990
What have you done?

81
00:04:05,040 --> 00:04:06,470
I taped it the other night.

82
00:04:06,520 --> 00:04:09,750
You know like a cassette tapes your
music, well, this tapes your telly.

83
00:04:09,800 --> 00:04:13,350
No, Steve, you can't TAPE the
telly. That's mad, you...

84
00:04:13,400 --> 00:04:15,510
You can't record the television!

85
00:04:15,560 --> 00:04:16,830
Watch.

86
00:04:17,680 --> 00:04:20,390
Now what's happened?

87
00:04:20,440 --> 00:04:21,990
I've paused it.

88
00:04:22,040 --> 00:04:24,390
You can't pause the
telly! What are you doin'?

89
00:04:24,440 --> 00:04:25,990
Straight -- what are you doin'?

90
00:04:26,040 --> 00:04:28,710
One of me old man's mates nicked
it out of Thames Television.

91
00:04:28,760 --> 00:04:31,110
And it tapes Thames Television?

92
00:04:31,160 --> 00:04:33,790
It tapes ALL television.

93
00:04:33,840 --> 00:04:34,870
Are you jokin'?

94
00:04:34,920 --> 00:04:36,750
Did you not know we had one of these?

95
00:04:36,800 --> 00:04:39,070
- No! - He's gettin' another
one next week, more modern.

96
00:04:39,120 --> 00:04:40,270
He's gettin' another one?

97
00:04:40,320 --> 00:04:42,950
Oh, Steve, mate, you've
gotta let me have this one.

98
00:04:43,000 --> 00:04:44,510
It ain't mine to sell.

99
00:04:44,560 --> 00:04:48,190
Do us a favour, go and ask your
old man how much he wants for it.

100
00:04:48,240 --> 00:04:49,270
My dad? You sure?

101
00:04:49,320 --> 00:04:50,520
Yeah!

102
00:04:55,280 --> 00:04:57,680
- 'It's Rigsby!
- It's Rigsby(!)'

103
00:04:59,720 --> 00:05:01,860
Have you had a bereavement?

104
00:05:03,640 --> 00:05:07,950
'I had entered a parallel universe.'

105
00:05:08,000 --> 00:05:10,470
Forget it, Dan, he wants 100 quid.

106
00:05:10,520 --> 00:05:12,040
100!

107
00:05:18,360 --> 00:05:20,910
Here, Kath, give us a slice of
your bread puddin', will ya?

108
00:05:20,960 --> 00:05:22,150
Comin' right up.

109
00:05:22,200 --> 00:05:24,510
Only there's a Russian
freighter sinking out there.

110
00:05:24,560 --> 00:05:26,350
They need somethin' to block up the hole.

111
00:05:26,400 --> 00:05:27,870
Oh, balls to ya.

112
00:05:27,920 --> 00:05:31,230
Determined to take the piss out of
me right to the last day, ain't ya.

113
00:05:31,280 --> 00:05:32,310
Yeah. We are.

114
00:05:32,360 --> 00:05:35,590
I've cooked hot dinners for you
ponces for the last 30 years.

115
00:05:35,640 --> 00:05:37,150
I've never had a word of thanks.

116
00:05:37,200 --> 00:05:38,870
You don't have to eat them, do ya?

117
00:05:38,920 --> 00:05:41,390
No wonder no-one else wants
to bleedin' buy this place.

118
00:05:41,440 --> 00:05:43,790
- Oh, you know we
loves ya, Kath. - Do I?

119
00:05:43,840 --> 00:05:45,710
Haven't you got any steak for later?

120
00:05:45,760 --> 00:05:48,790
Yes... I have, as it happens. Why?

121
00:05:48,840 --> 00:05:51,710
Cos Terry's got a hole in his boot
and he needs it soled and heeled.

122
00:05:51,760 --> 00:05:53,230
Oh, bollocks!

123
00:05:53,280 --> 00:05:54,870
'In fact, like many old industries,

124
00:05:54,920 --> 00:05:58,310
'the docks were facing closure,
with dockers offered money to quit.

125
00:05:58,360 --> 00:06:00,590
'And now, new faces were appearing.'

126
00:06:00,640 --> 00:06:02,230
Who's that?

127
00:06:02,280 --> 00:06:04,110
That's the new security firm they got in.

128
00:06:04,160 --> 00:06:06,430
- Blimey, they only look about 15.
- Ha-ha. Lovely.

129
00:06:06,480 --> 00:06:08,110
Lovely? What's lovely about that?

130
00:06:08,160 --> 00:06:10,870
They won't have heard about
any of the fiddles, will they?

131
00:06:10,920 --> 00:06:13,950
He's right, we can go right
through the book with 'em.

132
00:06:14,000 --> 00:06:16,310
I reckon we could do Cat In
The Box with kids like that.

133
00:06:16,360 --> 00:06:18,910
'Cat In The Box was the oldest
trick in the dockers' book.'

134
00:06:18,960 --> 00:06:21,670
- What you got in the box, Spud?
- Stray cat, Norm, for me daughter.

135
00:06:21,720 --> 00:06:24,270
I'm going to have to
look inside, I'm afraid.

136
00:06:24,320 --> 00:06:26,550
- Come on. It's a stray cat.
- Open her up.

137
00:06:26,600 --> 00:06:28,550
Bloody hell!

138
00:06:28,600 --> 00:06:31,470
Fucking hell! Thanks a lot(!) Thank you(!)

139
00:06:31,520 --> 00:06:34,150
'Dad normally gave it about half an hour.'

140
00:06:34,200 --> 00:06:35,590
Want to see the cat again?

141
00:06:35,640 --> 00:06:38,430
- No, no, you're all right,
Spud, go on. - Cheers, Norm.

142
00:06:38,480 --> 00:06:40,680
All right, calm down in there.

143
00:06:46,040 --> 00:06:49,310
'We had ham sandwiches
for a month after that.'

144
00:06:49,360 --> 00:06:50,750
Can't do Cat In The Box no more.

145
00:06:50,800 --> 00:06:53,030
Reggie tried it the other
week over at the East Gate,

146
00:06:53,080 --> 00:06:54,950
and they looked in the
box the second time.

147
00:06:55,000 --> 00:06:57,150
- They looked in the box
the second time? - Yeah.

148
00:06:57,200 --> 00:06:58,790
So what? He offered 'em a drink.

149
00:06:58,840 --> 00:07:01,470
They weren't interested in a
drink. They put Reggie on report.

150
00:07:01,520 --> 00:07:03,310
- They weren't interested
in a drink?! - No.

151
00:07:03,360 --> 00:07:06,310
They're onto everything, they're
not even a little bit approachable.

152
00:07:06,360 --> 00:07:08,150
So maybe it's time to take the money.

153
00:07:08,200 --> 00:07:10,030
Yeah. You might be right there, Ern,

154
00:07:10,080 --> 00:07:12,550
the offer was up to 1,200
quid in the last letter.

155
00:07:12,600 --> 00:07:14,870
Don't you wonder why they're
so keen to pay us off?

156
00:07:14,920 --> 00:07:17,190
You take that money, might
as well cut your own throat.

157
00:07:17,240 --> 00:07:21,240
The old game's changing, Spud.
This ain't a job for life no more.

158
00:07:24,800 --> 00:07:27,630
Don't piss about back there,
you'll blow us all through the roof.

159
00:07:27,680 --> 00:07:30,350
Hold on. Just need to connect it all up.

160
00:07:31,360 --> 00:07:32,630
Hello?

161
00:07:33,480 --> 00:07:36,230
- Where is everyone?
- In here!

162
00:07:36,280 --> 00:07:38,950
I've been given two weeks to
come up with the 100 quid,

163
00:07:39,000 --> 00:07:41,670
but right now, I was too
excited to worry about that.

164
00:07:41,720 --> 00:07:43,670
What the fucking hell is that monstrosity?

165
00:07:43,720 --> 00:07:48,230
Right. Ladies and gentlemen,
our house is now a cinema.

166
00:07:48,280 --> 00:07:49,470
What is it?

167
00:07:49,520 --> 00:07:52,270
It's a video recorder.
It records the television.

168
00:07:52,320 --> 00:07:53,670
What for?

169
00:07:53,720 --> 00:07:56,120
So you can watch programmes again.

170
00:07:56,360 --> 00:07:59,350
- What for?
- Well, you can keep shows on it.

171
00:07:59,400 --> 00:08:02,070
Keep shows?! You can fucking
stage shows on that --

172
00:08:02,120 --> 00:08:04,430
look at the size of it.
Where did you get it?

173
00:08:04,480 --> 00:08:06,310
Here, ain't Joey Churcher got one of them?

174
00:08:06,360 --> 00:08:08,990
Joey Churcher? I hope not!

175
00:08:09,040 --> 00:08:11,710
I'm off out now, see
you later. What is that?

176
00:08:11,760 --> 00:08:12,830
It's a video recorder.

177
00:08:12,880 --> 00:08:14,710
Who you meetin' tonight, Gog or Magog?

178
00:08:14,760 --> 00:08:16,590
I'll be in about 11, Mum.

179
00:08:16,640 --> 00:08:17,870
Be careful.

180
00:08:17,920 --> 00:08:20,230
Make sure you are. Keep
your hand on your ha'penny.

181
00:08:20,280 --> 00:08:22,710
She's off out with Roger
again. Six months now.

182
00:08:22,760 --> 00:08:25,110
Why does she never she
bring him home more often?

183
00:08:25,160 --> 00:08:26,470
I wonder(!)

184
00:08:26,520 --> 00:08:28,510
Right, there you go. Ready?

185
00:08:28,560 --> 00:08:30,030
Born ready.

186
00:08:32,520 --> 00:08:34,590
This is good, innit(?)

187
00:08:34,640 --> 00:08:36,630
- Maybe it needs tuning in?
- Yeah.

188
00:08:36,680 --> 00:08:41,110
Oi! Don't piss about with that,
took us three days to find BBC Two!

189
00:08:41,160 --> 00:08:43,520
Better place than this, too!

190
00:08:44,800 --> 00:08:46,870
What's that?

191
00:08:46,920 --> 00:08:48,830
That's last week's Rising Damp!

192
00:08:48,880 --> 00:08:50,710
Yeah, and we watched that last week.

193
00:08:50,760 --> 00:08:52,230
You know what it looks like?

194
00:08:52,280 --> 00:08:55,110
Like the telly's had a stroke.

195
00:08:55,160 --> 00:08:57,190
It does! How much did you give for that?

196
00:08:57,240 --> 00:08:58,430
20 quid.

197
00:08:58,480 --> 00:09:01,190
A score? 25 more like.

198
00:09:01,240 --> 00:09:02,670
How are you going to pay for that?

199
00:09:02,720 --> 00:09:05,390
You've used up all your birthday
money on bleeding records?

200
00:09:05,440 --> 00:09:07,870
I'm like Dad, aren't I? I can
always get hold of a few quid.

201
00:09:07,920 --> 00:09:10,630
Right, here's a tenner, put that
with your nans' postal orders

202
00:09:10,680 --> 00:09:11,710
and that's the end of it.

203
00:09:11,760 --> 00:09:14,510
Don't be gettin' involved with
the like of Joey Churcher, son.

204
00:09:14,560 --> 00:09:15,990
Thanks, Dad.

205
00:09:16,040 --> 00:09:19,350
Well, there we go. Do you
want to watch it again?

206
00:09:19,400 --> 00:09:21,070
No.

207
00:09:21,120 --> 00:09:24,630
'Since my dad had threatened to run
over her last boyfriend, Colin,

208
00:09:24,680 --> 00:09:26,630
'Sharon had been going steady with Roger.'

209
00:09:26,680 --> 00:09:27,910
In comes Mr Collier and says,

210
00:09:27,960 --> 00:09:30,110
"Brilliant, Barbara, go
home early if you want."

211
00:09:30,160 --> 00:09:32,870
And I thought, "Hang on, hang on,
I did most of that, I'm the one

212
00:09:32,920 --> 00:09:37,080
"with Pitman's shorthand, 120 words
a minute." Drives me mad up there.

213
00:09:38,400 --> 00:09:40,140
How was YOUR week?

214
00:09:41,200 --> 00:09:43,200
Well, work's work, innit?

215
00:09:46,320 --> 00:09:49,590
'He wasn't exactly the romantic
type, but she'd had plenty of them.'

216
00:09:49,640 --> 00:09:51,430
Oh, yeah! That's what
I was going to ask ya.

217
00:09:51,480 --> 00:09:52,830
Do you want to get married?

218
00:09:52,880 --> 00:09:54,550
Eh?

219
00:09:54,600 --> 00:09:55,950
What?

220
00:09:56,000 --> 00:09:57,470
Do you want to get married?

221
00:09:57,520 --> 00:09:59,990
You was talking about it the
other week with your mate.

222
00:10:00,040 --> 00:10:01,640
Shall we do it?

223
00:10:02,520 --> 00:10:05,830
Well, yeah, but... but
do it different to that.

224
00:10:05,880 --> 00:10:09,430
- What? - Asking me to marry you,
you've got to say, "Will you marry me?"

225
00:10:09,480 --> 00:10:10,670
I just did!

226
00:10:10,720 --> 00:10:13,950
Proper! You're supposed
to get down on one knee.

227
00:10:14,000 --> 00:10:17,230
What, in here? You've got some chance!

228
00:10:17,280 --> 00:10:19,670
Do you want to marry me or not?

229
00:10:19,720 --> 00:10:23,390
What about my dad?

230
00:10:23,440 --> 00:10:25,390
'Sharon was on the verge
of gaining a husband

231
00:10:25,440 --> 00:10:27,870
'while I'd already given my
heart to a video recorder.

232
00:10:27,920 --> 00:10:29,470
'But, like my sister,

233
00:10:29,520 --> 00:10:33,280
'I was to scared to tell Dad the
whole truth about our relationship.'

234
00:10:35,760 --> 00:10:37,110
Mike.

235
00:10:40,640 --> 00:10:42,270
Oi?

236
00:10:42,320 --> 00:10:43,590
What?!

237
00:10:45,120 --> 00:10:46,550
Mike, I owe more than 20 quid.

238
00:10:46,600 --> 00:10:48,910
I knew you did. Go on, how much?

239
00:10:48,960 --> 00:10:50,630
30?

240
00:10:50,680 --> 00:10:51,950
Yeah.

241
00:10:52,000 --> 00:10:53,790
You idiot. 30 quid just
to tape Rising Damp.

242
00:10:53,840 --> 00:10:56,270
It tapes other things, too.

243
00:10:56,320 --> 00:10:57,310
I owe 100 quid.

244
00:10:57,360 --> 00:11:00,440
100 quid! You owe Joey Churcher 100 quid?

245
00:11:03,120 --> 00:11:04,710
Stewart Sams only owed him a tenner.

246
00:11:04,760 --> 00:11:07,110
- Yeah? So? - When was last
time you saw Stewart Sams?

247
00:11:07,160 --> 00:11:08,910
His family's moved to Ramsgate.

248
00:11:08,960 --> 00:11:11,630
Yes, but ask yourself WHY
they moved to Ramsgate?

249
00:11:11,680 --> 00:11:14,390
Eh? Did they even MOVE to Ramsgate?

250
00:11:14,440 --> 00:11:18,150
No. You're not saying he killed all
Stewart Sams' family for a tenner?

251
00:11:18,200 --> 00:11:21,750
I'm not saying nothing, mate, you're
the one that owes him 100 quid.

252
00:11:21,800 --> 00:11:24,470
Now shut up and leave me alone, will ya?

253
00:11:25,960 --> 00:11:27,750
Oi, listen...

254
00:11:27,800 --> 00:11:30,630
If you do that again,
I'm going to fuckin'...

255
00:11:30,680 --> 00:11:32,760
Get off! Get off!

256
00:11:33,880 --> 00:11:36,470
Stop! What's the matter with you?

257
00:11:36,520 --> 00:11:38,670
I just wanted to know
what you were listening to.

258
00:11:38,720 --> 00:11:40,110
New Deep Purple LP.

259
00:11:40,160 --> 00:11:42,150
Deep Purple? Where'd you get that?

260
00:11:42,200 --> 00:11:44,550
Eddie Gregory taped it for
me. Only cost me a quid.

261
00:11:44,600 --> 00:11:47,870
Here, I reckon you're going to have
to start sellin' some of them soon

262
00:11:47,920 --> 00:11:50,190
if you're going to get
yourself out of this one.

263
00:11:50,240 --> 00:11:53,000
What?! Not me records! I can't!

264
00:12:03,320 --> 00:12:05,550
Come on, Fred, that's enough, ain't it?

265
00:12:05,600 --> 00:12:07,790
What are you talking
about?! These are Polaroids.

266
00:12:07,840 --> 00:12:09,390
Two quid a pair for these!

267
00:12:09,440 --> 00:12:10,790
Haemorrhoids.

268
00:12:10,840 --> 00:12:12,440
Oi! Stop that.

269
00:12:13,680 --> 00:12:14,910
Fucking hell, Norman!

270
00:12:14,960 --> 00:12:16,870
'Old Norman was one of the chaps.'

271
00:12:16,920 --> 00:12:18,030
Don't do that to us!

272
00:12:18,080 --> 00:12:20,230
'Totally in the swim.'

273
00:12:20,280 --> 00:12:23,190
No, no, straight, stop
it, there's no point.

274
00:12:23,240 --> 00:12:24,870
Why, it's only a bit of Fat Man, Norm.

275
00:12:24,920 --> 00:12:27,510
You're part of the old firm,
we'll sort you out no problem.

276
00:12:27,560 --> 00:12:30,350
New lot are onto it. Jackie
Tarbard got stopped the other day

277
00:12:30,400 --> 00:12:32,310
trying to nick a load of football shirts.

278
00:12:32,360 --> 00:12:36,350
How? You can't put your hands on a
dock worker, we'll all walk out.

279
00:12:36,400 --> 00:12:39,030
You can if you stop a bloke who
looks like he weighs 40 stone,

280
00:12:39,080 --> 00:12:41,470
then you strip him down and
find out he don't weight ten.

281
00:12:41,520 --> 00:12:43,310
What, so no more Fat Man?

282
00:12:43,360 --> 00:12:46,070
This is bollocks. They're
taking away our livelihood.

283
00:12:46,120 --> 00:12:48,710
The only thing I'm earning
at the moment is me wages!

284
00:12:48,760 --> 00:12:51,350
Listen, as soon as it goes up to
two grand, mate, I'm takin' it.

285
00:12:51,400 --> 00:12:54,110
What have I told you?
Don't take their bribes.

286
00:12:54,160 --> 00:12:56,870
If none of us take their money,
they can't close the docks down.

287
00:12:56,920 --> 00:12:58,150
Your Alfie took it.

288
00:12:58,200 --> 00:13:00,790
Yeah, but what's he got
now? About 50 quid.

289
00:13:00,840 --> 00:13:03,230
Don't you think he regrets
it every single day.

290
00:13:03,280 --> 00:13:07,310
He got a grand, he never even
bought himself a new car.

291
00:13:07,360 --> 00:13:09,030
It's blood money.

292
00:13:11,640 --> 00:13:14,510
Well, if you can't take
a few fucking steps,

293
00:13:14,560 --> 00:13:16,670
you wouldn't be able to
run my business, so...

294
00:13:16,720 --> 00:13:17,950
Yeah, and you.

295
00:13:18,000 --> 00:13:20,350
What's up, Kath?

296
00:13:20,400 --> 00:13:23,590
Another bleedin' buyer's dropped
out, they're all talk, all of them.

297
00:13:23,640 --> 00:13:26,270
Did they find out you were
taking them Scotch eggs with you?

298
00:13:26,320 --> 00:13:27,630
Valuable antiques, they are.

299
00:13:27,680 --> 00:13:30,430
You won't be laughin' the end
of next week when I've gone.

300
00:13:30,480 --> 00:13:32,990
This hut's been here since 1918.

301
00:13:33,040 --> 00:13:35,550
So has them Scotch eggs.

302
00:13:35,600 --> 00:13:38,270
They say, "Oh, you can't cook
off a bottle of gas no more,"

303
00:13:38,320 --> 00:13:40,430
and, "Oh, there's gotta be a sink

304
00:13:40,480 --> 00:13:43,470
"plumbed in so the staff
can wash their hands."

305
00:13:43,520 --> 00:13:46,150
There's only me! What do I
want to wash me hands for?

306
00:13:46,200 --> 00:13:49,950
And the latest thing is,
"Where's your toilet facilities?"

307
00:13:50,000 --> 00:13:53,270
I told 'I'm, I said, "Over the Rose
& Crown, where I've always gone."

308
00:13:53,320 --> 00:13:55,430
I don't know what they expect for £350.

309
00:13:55,480 --> 00:13:58,030
You ain't got that in yer
back pocket, have ya?

310
00:13:58,080 --> 00:14:00,270
We were just saying, we can't
smuggle a rasher of wind

311
00:14:00,320 --> 00:14:02,630
- out of this place at
the moment. - Fuck all.

312
00:14:02,680 --> 00:14:05,030
The dock'll be delighted to
see this place close down,

313
00:14:05,080 --> 00:14:07,470
and it will make it easier for
them to get rid of you lot.

314
00:14:07,520 --> 00:14:09,190
Well, they're on to all our strokes.

315
00:14:09,240 --> 00:14:13,350
Shame, because I heard there's a
booze boat comin' in next Thursday.

316
00:14:13,400 --> 00:14:15,600
Load of sherry from Cadiz.

317
00:14:16,600 --> 00:14:19,030
In the old days, you lot would
have stripped that bare.

318
00:14:19,080 --> 00:14:20,350
Sherry, though, Kath? I mean,

319
00:14:20,400 --> 00:14:22,910
we're going to have trouble
knockin' that out round here.

320
00:14:22,960 --> 00:14:23,990
Round here, maybe.

321
00:14:24,040 --> 00:14:26,270
But out in the suburbs,
Eltham, Cockfosters,

322
00:14:26,320 --> 00:14:28,430
that's all they drink out there.

323
00:14:28,480 --> 00:14:33,350
'The video recorder was starting
to dominate family life.'

324
00:14:33,400 --> 00:14:35,510
Do you know what?

325
00:14:35,560 --> 00:14:37,710
I still feel hungry. So am
I. Fancy a bag of chips?

326
00:14:37,760 --> 00:14:41,310
Plenty of vinegar? Lots of
scallops? Mushy peas. You're on.

327
00:14:41,360 --> 00:14:43,430
Your turn to pay. Come on.

328
00:14:47,320 --> 00:14:48,920
Suit of armour.

329
00:14:50,760 --> 00:14:52,360
Watch it again?

330
00:14:53,560 --> 00:14:56,470
'But I still had to pay Joey
Churcher what I owed him for it.

331
00:14:56,520 --> 00:14:59,230
'There was no way I was going
to sell any of my famously

332
00:14:59,280 --> 00:15:00,870
'comprehensive record collection,

333
00:15:00,920 --> 00:15:04,310
'so inspired by my brother's mate,
Eddie Gregory, I came up with

334
00:15:04,360 --> 00:15:07,750
'a plan. I put a classified ad in
the music papers offering to tape

335
00:15:07,800 --> 00:15:10,670
'any albums onto cassette
for just one pound.

336
00:15:18,480 --> 00:15:22,240
'All I had to do was press
record, sit back and wait.'

337
00:15:25,320 --> 00:15:28,280
Don't touch the record player!

338
00:15:40,080 --> 00:15:42,630
All right, let's take it up. Come on.

339
00:15:42,680 --> 00:15:44,550
'It had become a point
of principle for Dad.

340
00:15:44,600 --> 00:15:48,550
'The boatload of sherry had arrived,
and his solution was to reach back

341
00:15:48,600 --> 00:15:51,800
"into the past for a classic old
dock workers' stroke, The Dredge.

342
00:15:54,880 --> 00:15:57,030
Haven't you got anything
else better to do?

343
00:15:57,080 --> 00:15:59,950
Just making sure every bottle of
this goes where it's meant to.

344
00:16:00,000 --> 00:16:02,280
Yeah.

345
00:16:03,600 --> 00:16:05,600
That's it. Take it down.

346
00:16:11,520 --> 00:16:13,060
Got it, lads?

347
00:16:14,680 --> 00:16:18,320
Whoa, right, lads, let's get this shifted.

348
00:16:29,280 --> 00:16:30,510
'Ere, I want a word with you!

349
00:16:30,560 --> 00:16:32,100
Not now, Mum.

350
00:16:34,080 --> 00:16:38,160
'The video recorder was taking over
my life, but so was paying for it.'

351
00:16:43,880 --> 00:16:45,910
A couple of letters came for you.

352
00:16:45,960 --> 00:16:47,830
Oh, yeah?

353
00:16:47,880 --> 00:16:51,440
Now, do you want to tell
me what you've been up to?

354
00:17:08,560 --> 00:17:10,700
All right, let's take it up.

355
00:17:12,720 --> 00:17:13,910
Stand from under.

356
00:17:13,960 --> 00:17:15,720
Set hangin'!

357
00:17:19,720 --> 00:17:21,790
Just a minute, Les!

358
00:17:21,840 --> 00:17:24,230
I think there's a corner come loose.

359
00:17:24,280 --> 00:17:27,790
That's it, Les, to me, to me, bring it in.

360
00:17:27,840 --> 00:17:31,160
Just as I thought, this isn't secure.

361
00:17:35,440 --> 00:17:37,800
There you go. Right, take it up.

362
00:17:38,920 --> 00:17:43,000
Steady, Les, steady! That still
don't look too secure to me, that.

363
00:17:48,920 --> 00:17:50,120
Oi!

364
00:17:51,400 --> 00:17:53,230
I said it wasn't secure, you heard me.

365
00:17:53,280 --> 00:17:54,950
Someone could have been killed.

366
00:17:55,000 --> 00:17:58,240
You don't take the working man's
welfare seriously round here.

367
00:18:07,120 --> 00:18:08,150
So what happens now?

368
00:18:08,200 --> 00:18:10,030
Well, for the next six months all the fish

369
00:18:10,080 --> 00:18:12,470
that are pulled out of there
will be three-parts pissed.

370
00:18:12,520 --> 00:18:14,590
- What, so all that lot's
lost, is it? - Gone!

371
00:18:14,640 --> 00:18:16,830
Unless you're willing to jump in after it.

372
00:18:16,880 --> 00:18:19,710
Well, what about insurance?
Shouldn't we get your names?

373
00:18:19,760 --> 00:18:21,270
Excuse me, your names, please?

374
00:18:21,320 --> 00:18:23,470
Names? That's Duke of Edinburgh.

375
00:18:23,520 --> 00:18:25,830
That's Elvis Presley.

376
00:18:25,880 --> 00:18:28,920
- Donald Duck.
- And I'm the Dalai Lama.

377
00:18:30,280 --> 00:18:34,030
'My recording business was booming
to the point where supply -- me --

378
00:18:34,080 --> 00:18:35,950
'couldn't possibly keep up with demand --

379
00:18:36,000 --> 00:18:39,280
apparently the entire record-buying
public of the United Kingdom.

380
00:18:52,960 --> 00:18:56,270
Oh, no, it'll all be over the front
page of the Weatherfield Gazette

381
00:18:56,320 --> 00:18:59,150
on Friday. Bet Lynch is
definitely back in circulation.

382
00:18:59,200 --> 00:19:01,550
Haven't you seen this episode?

383
00:19:01,600 --> 00:19:03,750
Yeah. We recorded it.

384
00:19:03,800 --> 00:19:06,110
How many times have you watched it?

385
00:19:06,160 --> 00:19:07,510
About... ten.

386
00:19:07,560 --> 00:19:08,700
Mad.

387
00:19:09,960 --> 00:19:11,790
Oh, who's turned off the record player?!

388
00:19:11,840 --> 00:19:14,470
I did! I was sick of
hearing Pink bloody Floyd.

389
00:19:14,520 --> 00:19:16,990
Well, I'm never going to finish
if you keep turning it off.

390
00:19:17,040 --> 00:19:19,590
You'll never finish by the
look of that pile of letters.

391
00:19:19,640 --> 00:19:21,150
And there's two posts tomorrow.

392
00:19:21,200 --> 00:19:23,950
Lucky for you your father's
workin' late tonight.

393
00:19:24,000 --> 00:19:25,600
Argh!

394
00:19:31,040 --> 00:19:33,710
So how long's it been, then,
since this was last done?

395
00:19:33,760 --> 00:19:36,350
Whoa. It's gotta be 10, 15 years.

396
00:19:36,400 --> 00:19:38,390
Archie Clarke was the best at it.

397
00:19:38,440 --> 00:19:41,870
- Archie Clarke? Didn't he
drown or somethin'? - Yeah.

398
00:19:41,920 --> 00:19:42,990
Doin' this?

399
00:19:43,040 --> 00:19:44,110
Indirectly.

400
00:19:44,160 --> 00:19:46,950
He was on his way home from
doing this and he got pissed

401
00:19:47,000 --> 00:19:48,710
and fell off the Woolwich ferry.

402
00:19:48,760 --> 00:19:50,470
All right, chaps, have I missed it?

403
00:19:50,520 --> 00:19:54,310
- Where you been? - Sorry, Spud, I
can't resist her toad in the 'ole.

404
00:19:54,360 --> 00:19:56,030
What's happenin'?

405
00:19:58,880 --> 00:20:01,110
Alfie! Never thought I'd
see you back in the docks --

406
00:20:01,160 --> 00:20:02,390
I thought you took the money?

407
00:20:02,440 --> 00:20:03,950
He did. That's why he needs the work.

408
00:20:04,000 --> 00:20:05,350
What you been doin' down there?

409
00:20:05,400 --> 00:20:10,110
What do you think I've
been...? Playing bleeding golf?

410
00:20:10,160 --> 00:20:13,470
Here you are, I found it all
on the bottom ready to bring up.

411
00:20:13,520 --> 00:20:17,990
Yes, look at this. At
last, a chance to earn.

412
00:20:18,040 --> 00:20:19,750
Ho-ho!

413
00:20:19,800 --> 00:20:21,110
So, how's it goin', then, Alf?

414
00:20:21,160 --> 00:20:23,030
Terrible. I just miss everyone.

415
00:20:23,080 --> 00:20:25,230
You don't know how much
it's part of your life

416
00:20:25,280 --> 00:20:27,350
till you're out of it all.

417
00:20:29,080 --> 00:20:32,200
Fucking hell! It's like vinegar!

418
00:20:33,400 --> 00:20:36,470
Not only does it taste like
vinegar. It is vinegar.

419
00:20:36,520 --> 00:20:38,270
Look -- vinagre -- vinegar.

420
00:20:38,320 --> 00:20:41,190
Right, sherry vinegar? Look at that!

421
00:20:41,240 --> 00:20:43,790
How are we supposed to shift that?!

422
00:20:43,840 --> 00:20:45,150
Oh, what a waste of time!

423
00:20:45,200 --> 00:20:47,870
I could have been at home
having apple crumble now.

424
00:20:47,920 --> 00:20:48,910
What's goin' on here?

425
00:20:48,960 --> 00:20:51,030
(Fuckin' arseholes.)

426
00:20:51,080 --> 00:20:53,750
Night fishin'. Just doin' a spot
of night fishin', that's all.

427
00:20:53,800 --> 00:20:55,350
What was that?

428
00:20:55,400 --> 00:20:57,190
That one was too small, threw it back.

429
00:20:57,240 --> 00:20:59,790
'Always conduct yourself as
an innocent man, Dad told us.

430
00:20:59,840 --> 00:21:01,830
'Of course, he was an expert at it.'

431
00:21:01,880 --> 00:21:04,870
Anyway, you shouldn't be on dock
premises after working hours.

432
00:21:04,920 --> 00:21:05,990
Er, that's not true.

433
00:21:06,040 --> 00:21:09,070
Under the Port of London Charter
of 1903, dockers are permitted

434
00:21:09,120 --> 00:21:13,630
to fish in the waters in which they
toil, at any time, day or night.

435
00:21:13,680 --> 00:21:15,270
I'd like to see that in black and white.

436
00:21:15,320 --> 00:21:18,750
No need, son. It's filed away, up here.

437
00:21:18,800 --> 00:21:22,030
Why's he in a wetsuit?

438
00:21:22,080 --> 00:21:23,950
We're after skate.

439
00:21:24,000 --> 00:21:25,230
What?

440
00:21:25,280 --> 00:21:27,830
Skate. Fish. They're
bottom feeders, ain't they?

441
00:21:27,880 --> 00:21:30,230
Port of London Charter of 1903 again?

442
00:21:30,280 --> 00:21:31,510
No. 1907, that one, 1907.

443
00:21:31,560 --> 00:21:33,710
That's about right for
you lot, ain't it, eh?

444
00:21:33,760 --> 00:21:35,070
You're all well out of date.

445
00:21:35,120 --> 00:21:38,030
Within two years, there won't
be no dockers left round here.

446
00:21:38,080 --> 00:21:40,710
Oh, yeah? Well, what will be
here, then, clever bollocks?

447
00:21:40,760 --> 00:21:43,150
Money. Real money, not your little scams.

448
00:21:43,200 --> 00:21:46,030
That's all getting bought
up for property, innit?

449
00:21:46,080 --> 00:21:50,030
You're round the twist. This is
the busiest port in the world.

450
00:21:50,080 --> 00:21:53,350
- They'll always need blokes
like us, mate. - Correct.

451
00:21:53,400 --> 00:21:55,870
So why are they offering
you 1,200 quid to go away?

452
00:21:55,920 --> 00:21:59,510
That's a lot of piss-off money
for someone they want to keep.

453
00:21:59,560 --> 00:22:00,900
Come on.

454
00:22:01,800 --> 00:22:04,350
Fucking arseholes.

455
00:22:04,400 --> 00:22:06,470
♪ I shot the sheriff

456
00:22:06,520 --> 00:22:08,830
♪ But I did not shoot the deputy... ♪

457
00:22:08,880 --> 00:22:10,190
How much?

458
00:22:10,240 --> 00:22:12,230
See for yourself.

459
00:22:12,280 --> 00:22:13,710
- 1,500 quid!
- Mmm.

460
00:22:13,760 --> 00:22:19,670
Oh, my good God, Fred, you've got
to at least think about it. £1,500.

461
00:22:19,720 --> 00:22:22,830
I can earn that in six months,
Bet. What's the point of takin' it,

462
00:22:22,880 --> 00:22:25,420
then, in six months, not havin' a job?

463
00:22:26,840 --> 00:22:28,440
Any more mail?

464
00:22:29,000 --> 00:22:30,630
Yeah.

465
00:22:30,680 --> 00:22:32,470
Yeah, one or two bits.

466
00:22:32,520 --> 00:22:34,520
But none of it's for you.

467
00:22:35,560 --> 00:22:38,470
- What the fuckin' 'ell's that?
- Here, look at that.

468
00:22:38,520 --> 00:22:41,510
- Who's moved in, The Beatles?
- You'd better ask Danny. Look.

469
00:22:41,560 --> 00:22:44,230
Danny? Oi, Danny.

470
00:22:44,280 --> 00:22:46,790
What you done? Knocked off
a mail train? What's this?

471
00:22:46,840 --> 00:22:48,590
Sit down, Ronnie Biggs.

472
00:22:48,640 --> 00:22:50,990
And this had better all be straight.

473
00:22:51,040 --> 00:22:54,190
Be a first time in this house if it is.

474
00:22:54,240 --> 00:22:57,230
Well, I was just foraging,

475
00:22:57,280 --> 00:22:59,190
trying to get a few quid
together, like YOU do.

476
00:22:59,240 --> 00:23:00,830
But I've gone in over me head.

477
00:23:00,880 --> 00:23:02,390
I don't know what to do, Dad.

478
00:23:02,440 --> 00:23:03,870
What have you been doing?!

479
00:23:03,920 --> 00:23:05,190
Taping LPs and selling 'em.

480
00:23:05,240 --> 00:23:07,510
Which is illegal, by the
way, copyright, they call it.

481
00:23:07,560 --> 00:23:08,870
I've been trying to pay back

482
00:23:08,920 --> 00:23:11,190
Joey Churcher for this
video recorder thing.

483
00:23:11,240 --> 00:23:12,750
Owes him 100 quid, don't he?

484
00:23:12,800 --> 00:23:15,230
He's asked you for 100
quid for that thing,

485
00:23:15,280 --> 00:23:17,390
what his mate knocked off for nothin'?

486
00:23:17,440 --> 00:23:19,070
Right, you leave Joey Churcher to me,

487
00:23:19,120 --> 00:23:21,030
I'll sort him out. He
owes me a few favours.

488
00:23:21,080 --> 00:23:23,070
What about the letters?
I've had so many, I'll be

489
00:23:23,120 --> 00:23:25,190
taping till Christmas and
I still won't finish.

490
00:23:25,240 --> 00:23:27,790
Never mind them. I'll take them
down the dump and burn 'em.

491
00:23:27,840 --> 00:23:28,910
Thanks, Dad.

492
00:23:28,960 --> 00:23:30,150
Listen to me, Danny.

493
00:23:30,200 --> 00:23:33,470
And you. Doors are closin',
the world is changin'.

494
00:23:33,520 --> 00:23:36,510
We've got to learn to do things
straight. That's the future now.

495
00:23:36,560 --> 00:23:38,430
Skulduggery, that's all finished.

496
00:23:38,480 --> 00:23:41,190
What about all the money?

497
00:23:41,240 --> 00:23:43,630
Money? What money? What are
you talking about, money?

498
00:23:43,680 --> 00:23:46,310
They've been sending money to do
their tapes. Then most of them

499
00:23:46,360 --> 00:23:48,550
have been selling 'em on
to their mates for a profit.

500
00:23:48,600 --> 00:23:50,310
So there's money in all these?

501
00:23:50,360 --> 00:23:51,870
Yeah. Better chuck the whole lot.

502
00:23:51,920 --> 00:23:54,150
Never mind that. You get to school.

503
00:23:54,200 --> 00:23:57,240
I'll sort these out.
Bet, another cup of tea!

504
00:23:58,440 --> 00:24:00,830
'Dad was very scrupulous.

505
00:24:00,880 --> 00:24:03,270
'Kids who only wanted one
tape got their money back.

506
00:24:03,320 --> 00:24:06,950
'But those who to make a profit out
of my efforts weren't so lucky.

507
00:24:07,000 --> 00:24:10,030
'Soon there was enough
to pay off Joey Churcher

508
00:24:10,080 --> 00:24:13,310
'plus a "reasonable surplus",
as Dad put it, on top.'

509
00:24:13,360 --> 00:24:17,030
Woo-hoo, like I've always told
you, Bet, everyone's at it.

510
00:24:17,080 --> 00:24:19,230
Unfortunately for this mob, some of us

511
00:24:19,280 --> 00:24:21,630
have been at it a lot longer than others.

512
00:24:21,680 --> 00:24:25,470
'And that surplus, he
immediately put to good use.'

513
00:24:25,520 --> 00:24:30,910
I always promised meself one
day I'd sit here and be served.

514
00:24:30,960 --> 00:24:33,710
You can choose what you
like, Kath, it's all on us.

515
00:24:33,760 --> 00:24:34,790
Alfie!

516
00:24:34,840 --> 00:24:36,070
Certainly, madam.

517
00:24:36,120 --> 00:24:38,270
On behalf of the new
management, what can I get you?

518
00:24:38,320 --> 00:24:40,670
Ooh, it's good to see you back, Alf.

519
00:24:40,720 --> 00:24:42,390
It's nice to be back.

520
00:24:42,440 --> 00:24:48,550
Well, I'll have a nice cup o' tea
and, er, one of them Bakewell tarts.

521
00:24:48,600 --> 00:24:50,150
Of course, comin' right up.

522
00:24:50,200 --> 00:24:51,910
You sure you want to part with that, Kath?

523
00:24:51,960 --> 00:24:53,590
They've been in the family a long time.

524
00:24:53,640 --> 00:24:56,790
And wash your bleeding
hands before you serve it!

525
00:24:56,840 --> 00:24:58,790
She's got a point!

526
00:24:58,840 --> 00:25:01,710
Me and Cliff are so grateful to you boys.

527
00:25:01,760 --> 00:25:05,030
It was Spud what come up
with it all, thank him.

528
00:25:05,080 --> 00:25:06,400
Well...

529
00:25:10,560 --> 00:25:12,430
Two cups of tea.

530
00:25:12,480 --> 00:25:14,590
Sorry, gents.

531
00:25:14,640 --> 00:25:16,110
What's that supposed to mean?

532
00:25:16,160 --> 00:25:19,350
It's there in black and
white. Dockers only!

533
00:25:19,400 --> 00:25:23,030
In other words, piss off out of it, go on.

534
00:25:23,080 --> 00:25:24,710
Get on out of it.

535
00:25:24,760 --> 00:25:27,710
'So Kath got her retirement
money, Alfie was back in the docks

536
00:25:27,760 --> 00:25:30,630
'and Dad had stayed
ahead of the game again.'

537
00:25:32,320 --> 00:25:33,910
Can we turn over?

538
00:25:33,960 --> 00:25:35,670
No, I want to tape This Is Your Life.

539
00:25:35,720 --> 00:25:37,710
- It'll be Des O'Connor.
- You say that every week.

540
00:25:37,760 --> 00:25:40,790
No, I don't. I was right the
other week with Ray Alan.

541
00:25:40,840 --> 00:25:42,990
No, you just said "a ventriloquist".

542
00:25:43,040 --> 00:25:45,790
Yeah, Ray Alan, he's a ventriloquist.

543
00:25:45,840 --> 00:25:48,990
Anyway, I don't know why they act
all shocked, they've all been told.

544
00:25:49,040 --> 00:25:50,270
It's all set up in advance.

545
00:25:50,320 --> 00:25:52,870
What you doing?

546
00:25:52,920 --> 00:25:54,230
Fred.

547
00:25:54,280 --> 00:25:55,560
What?

548
00:25:57,080 --> 00:25:59,350
- Fred.
- What?

549
00:25:59,400 --> 00:26:01,270
Sharon and Roger want to get married.

550
00:26:01,320 --> 00:26:02,590
- How much?
- What?!

551
00:26:02,640 --> 00:26:04,590
I mean, when?

552
00:26:04,640 --> 00:26:05,870
In the summer.

553
00:26:05,920 --> 00:26:09,430
All right, summer.

554
00:26:09,480 --> 00:26:11,510
All right.

555
00:26:11,560 --> 00:26:13,990
- Is that it?
- Yeah.

556
00:26:14,040 --> 00:26:15,630
- They'll be back in a minute. - What?

557
00:26:15,680 --> 00:26:17,790
Sharon was expecting you
to go off like a rocket.

558
00:26:17,840 --> 00:26:21,430
- Why? - You've chased the last four
of her boyfriends over the back wall.

559
00:26:21,480 --> 00:26:26,630
Well, I like Roger, he's a good bloke.

560
00:26:26,680 --> 00:26:29,670
Yeah, he reminds me of someone.

561
00:26:29,720 --> 00:26:31,710
- Who?
- You.

562
00:26:31,760 --> 00:26:33,830
Sharon say's he ain't
even bought her a ring yet

563
00:26:33,880 --> 00:26:35,950
in case you said no and
he was lumbered with it.

564
00:26:36,000 --> 00:26:38,320
Well, what's wrong with that?

565
00:26:42,960 --> 00:26:47,000
- Don't, don't... - What?
- No. Come on. Bless.

566
00:26:48,760 --> 00:26:50,240
All right?

567
00:26:51,360 --> 00:26:52,710
Are you taping This Is Your Life?

568
00:26:52,760 --> 00:26:54,710
Yeah, it's on after this.

569
00:26:54,760 --> 00:26:57,390
It's all set up, Sharon,
they know in advance.

570
00:26:57,440 --> 00:27:00,230
Correct, just been
saying that to her mother.

571
00:27:00,280 --> 00:27:01,470
Oh, don't spoil it.

572
00:27:01,520 --> 00:27:03,990
I like to see who's the surprise
guest is that comes on last.

573
00:27:04,040 --> 00:27:05,270
So do I.

574
00:27:05,320 --> 00:27:09,350
Weren't much of a surprise last
week with Ray Alan and Lord Charles.

575
00:27:09,400 --> 00:27:11,400
It was a fucking puppet.

576
00:27:14,280 --> 00:27:16,880
Right, I will go and put the kettle on.

577
00:27:18,920 --> 00:27:20,790
Anyway, Dad...

578
00:27:20,840 --> 00:27:22,790
What?

579
00:27:22,840 --> 00:27:24,870
Roger's got somethin' to tell you.

580
00:27:24,920 --> 00:27:27,670
- Has he?
- Have I?

581
00:27:27,720 --> 00:27:30,160
(Tell him!)

582
00:27:31,160 --> 00:27:32,360
Yeah.

583
00:27:34,320 --> 00:27:36,790
He's asked me to marry him.

584
00:27:36,840 --> 00:27:39,190
- He's what?
- We're only engaged, Fred.

585
00:27:39,240 --> 00:27:41,910
I told her to leave it for now,
but she wanted to tell you.

586
00:27:41,960 --> 00:27:43,430
You're getting married?!

587
00:27:43,480 --> 00:27:45,320
Well... yeah!

588
00:27:46,400 --> 00:27:50,310
Right... well...

589
00:27:50,360 --> 00:27:52,430
I already knew that.

590
00:27:52,480 --> 00:27:53,750
What?

591
00:27:53,800 --> 00:27:55,550
Your mother told me earlier.

592
00:27:55,600 --> 00:27:58,070
Oh, you are rotten, the pair of you!

593
00:27:58,120 --> 00:27:59,750
It was his idea to wind you up.

594
00:27:59,800 --> 00:28:02,070
You're not angry?

595
00:28:02,120 --> 00:28:03,710
I'm not a nutcase, am I?

596
00:28:03,760 --> 00:28:05,870
Come here, girl. Congratulations, boy.

597
00:28:05,920 --> 00:28:08,590
- Thanks, Fred. - Positive you
want to go through with this, Rog?

598
00:28:08,640 --> 00:28:10,030
Yes, he is, thank you very much!

599
00:28:10,080 --> 00:28:11,750
She's been out with a few, you know.

600
00:28:11,800 --> 00:28:13,560
What?

601
00:28:14,760 --> 00:28:19,390
♪ They say time will wait for no man

602
00:28:19,440 --> 00:28:24,190
♪ They say time is on my side

603
00:28:24,240 --> 00:28:28,990
♪ I can never make my mind up

604
00:28:29,040 --> 00:28:32,150
♪ Cos it all goes whizzing by

605
00:28:32,200 --> 00:28:36,990
- ♪ From the cradle to the grave
- ♪ From the cradle to the grave

606
00:28:37,040 --> 00:28:41,840
- ♪ I know I won't be a slave - ♪
I know I won't be a slave... - ♪