1
00:00:05,440 --> 00:00:08,860
♪ They say time will wait for no man

2
00:00:10,100 --> 00:00:14,850
♪ They say time is on my side

3
00:00:14,900 --> 00:00:18,810
♪ I can never make my mind up

4
00:00:18,860 --> 00:00:22,090
♪ Cos it all goes whizzing by

5
00:00:22,140 --> 00:00:24,970
♪ From the cradle to the grave

6
00:00:25,020 --> 00:00:27,450
♪ From the cradle to the grave

7
00:00:27,500 --> 00:00:29,890
♪ I know I won't be a slave

8
00:00:29,940 --> 00:00:32,140
♪ I know I won't be a slave

9
00:00:32,580 --> 00:00:34,730
♪ To the mistakes that I've made

10
00:00:34,780 --> 00:00:35,770
♪ From the cradle

11
00:00:35,820 --> 00:00:41,690
♪ And I won't go till I'm ready
from the cradle to the grave. ♪

12
00:00:41,740 --> 00:00:46,610
- So we're calling the band either...
- Thunderkok. - Spelt K-O-K.

13
00:00:46,660 --> 00:00:47,890
Typhlosion...

14
00:00:47,940 --> 00:00:49,250
No, that's rubbish.

15
00:00:49,300 --> 00:00:51,730
Smallpox. Risk.

16
00:00:51,780 --> 00:00:54,650
Oi, Baker, what's a good name for a band?

17
00:00:54,700 --> 00:00:56,970
Er... Bench Full Of Wankers?

18
00:00:58,140 --> 00:01:00,810
- Where you been?
- Where've I been? Ask me where I've been.

19
00:01:00,860 --> 00:01:02,450
He's just asked you that, Baker!

20
00:01:02,500 --> 00:01:06,730
All right, I'll tell you where
I've been. Been in the dark room.

21
00:01:06,780 --> 00:01:08,570
With Miss Blondel.

22
00:01:08,620 --> 00:01:09,610
With the red light on?

23
00:01:09,660 --> 00:01:13,250
- Red light right on. - And? - Not going
to tell you load of wergins, am I?

24
00:01:13,300 --> 00:01:15,770
You went in the dark
room with Miss Blondel.

25
00:01:15,820 --> 00:01:18,130
- With the red light on?
- You never grabbed hold of her.

26
00:01:18,180 --> 00:01:19,930
All right, I never grabbed hold of her.

27
00:01:19,980 --> 00:01:23,850
So what was I doing in there with her,
then? Learning how to develop photos?

28
00:01:23,900 --> 00:01:27,490
- So when you think it's had long
enough in the developer... - Mm-hm?

29
00:01:27,540 --> 00:01:29,210
.. pop it quickly into the fix.

30
00:01:29,260 --> 00:01:31,780
- Um... - Yes. - Whoa!

31
00:01:33,260 --> 00:01:35,600
- OK.
- And now to the water.

32
00:01:36,620 --> 00:01:40,100
That's it, now you hang
it up to dry. Well done.

33
00:02:12,620 --> 00:02:14,090
Oh, la la!

34
00:02:15,460 --> 00:02:18,140
Look at your face!

35
00:02:19,300 --> 00:02:21,840
No need to be embarrassed. I'm not.

36
00:02:22,700 --> 00:02:24,370
It's photography, Danny.

37
00:02:24,420 --> 00:02:27,090
Is it even worth giving you the
speech about the difference

38
00:02:27,140 --> 00:02:29,080
between smut and art?

39
00:02:31,380 --> 00:02:32,580
Er...

40
00:02:34,700 --> 00:02:38,850
I... I want to do more photography, miss.

41
00:02:38,900 --> 00:02:40,330
What are you doing?

42
00:02:40,380 --> 00:02:43,260
Because I... really like you.

43
00:02:44,540 --> 00:02:45,940
Louise.

44
00:02:57,020 --> 00:02:59,450
- So what have you heard,
then? - Heard? - Come on.

45
00:02:59,500 --> 00:03:02,770
About me, whatever it is,
I'm sure it's just nonsense

46
00:03:02,820 --> 00:03:04,130
but I'd like to hear it.

47
00:03:04,180 --> 00:03:07,770
Well, I, I heard about
you and... Mark Stitch.

48
00:03:07,820 --> 00:03:10,450
Wow. Mark.

49
00:03:10,500 --> 00:03:12,650
Yeah. In here.

50
00:03:12,700 --> 00:03:14,040
In here?

51
00:03:15,580 --> 00:03:20,730
Listen, I saw Mark a few times.

52
00:03:20,780 --> 00:03:25,100
But that was after he left
school and certainly not in here.

53
00:03:26,260 --> 00:03:29,540
I could never have a relationship
with a schoolboy, Danny.

54
00:03:30,620 --> 00:03:32,610
You must know that.

55
00:03:32,660 --> 00:03:34,380
No schoolboys?

56
00:03:35,580 --> 00:03:37,850
No matter how cute they are.

57
00:03:41,540 --> 00:03:43,050
What's she look like, stripped off?

58
00:03:43,100 --> 00:03:45,850
I'm not going to answer that, that's...

59
00:03:45,900 --> 00:03:48,450
- That's just smut.
- Oh, smut!

60
00:03:48,500 --> 00:03:49,490
On your mother's life,

61
00:03:49,540 --> 00:03:53,020
in that dark room -- you saw
Miss Blondel with nothing on?

62
00:03:54,060 --> 00:03:57,300
Yeah, I did, on my mother's life. I did.

63
00:04:11,980 --> 00:04:14,890
Boys? Got something for you.

64
00:04:14,940 --> 00:04:19,730
- What you showing us? - You know
they have readers' wives, all
right? Well, this is the new thing.

65
00:04:19,780 --> 00:04:23,410
"One For The Ladies." It's the
blokes, right? It's the husbands.

66
00:04:23,460 --> 00:04:26,210
Look at the state of him. Now, look, look.

67
00:04:26,260 --> 00:04:29,610
Does that or does that not
look like Eddie Cook to you?

68
00:04:29,660 --> 00:04:31,850
How can you tell with his
eyes blacked out like that?

69
00:04:31,900 --> 00:04:34,650
Oh, come on. It's a
ringer, innit? 'Ere, Spud.

70
00:04:34,700 --> 00:04:36,490
- What?
- Have a look at that.

71
00:04:36,540 --> 00:04:38,290
Oh, good Gawd, what's that?

72
00:04:38,340 --> 00:04:39,690
What's the matter with you lot?

73
00:04:39,740 --> 00:04:42,210
What you looking at this
for? What's...? What's...?

74
00:04:42,260 --> 00:04:46,050
"A pulsing round-up of this
week's hottest dongs." Leave off!

75
00:04:46,100 --> 00:04:48,770
Don't show me something like
that first thing in the morning.

76
00:04:48,820 --> 00:04:51,370
No. No, look again --
who does that look like?

77
00:04:51,420 --> 00:04:53,690
Look like? That is Eddie Cook.

78
00:04:53,740 --> 00:04:55,930
I told you!

79
00:04:55,980 --> 00:04:58,370
How can you be so sure? Look,
you can't even see his face.

80
00:04:58,420 --> 00:05:00,810
No. But that's his kitchen
wallpaper for starters.

81
00:05:00,860 --> 00:05:04,330
And look at that there. See
that there, between his legs?

82
00:05:04,380 --> 00:05:07,850
That's the urn with his
old man's ashes in it.

83
00:05:07,900 --> 00:05:08,930
Straight up!

84
00:05:08,980 --> 00:05:11,970
I'm always telling him he keeps
it too close to the tea caddy.

85
00:05:12,020 --> 00:05:14,930
What's he gone in for that for, the
soppy git? What's all that about?

86
00:05:14,980 --> 00:05:17,490
25 quid, it says here.

87
00:05:17,540 --> 00:05:19,810
Then again, speaking of sausages...

88
00:05:19,860 --> 00:05:23,420
Here, Spud. Have you seen someone's
wiped your name off the board?

89
00:05:25,580 --> 00:05:28,010
Yeah, there's some bastards
around, ain't there?

90
00:05:28,060 --> 00:05:30,690
Put it back up, cos someone's
taking the right piss out of you.

91
00:05:30,740 --> 00:05:33,010
Making out you're a quitter.

92
00:05:33,860 --> 00:05:35,060
Spud?

93
00:05:36,900 --> 00:05:39,770
I took it down, and that's the end of it.

94
00:05:39,820 --> 00:05:44,090
And anyone who wants to keep going on
about it can say hello to a right-hander.

95
00:05:44,140 --> 00:05:46,810
- What's happened, Spud?
- What did I just say about keeping on?

96
00:05:46,860 --> 00:05:49,400
I'm not keeping on. I'm enquiring.

97
00:05:50,060 --> 00:05:52,610
Fucking hell, Spud.

98
00:05:52,660 --> 00:05:55,050
Here, we could all do with three grand

99
00:05:55,100 --> 00:05:57,250
but we're still hanging onto our jobs.

100
00:05:57,300 --> 00:06:00,140
2,200. That's what I got.

101
00:06:02,140 --> 00:06:05,300
Went up to three the next
day. Go on, laugh if you like.

102
00:06:09,580 --> 00:06:13,290
Spud, you need to get up and
put your name back on the board.

103
00:06:13,340 --> 00:06:15,450
- You're a docker.
- It's too late. I took the money.

104
00:06:15,500 --> 00:06:18,690
And I've got something else lined up.

105
00:06:18,740 --> 00:06:20,690
But aren't you even regretting it?

106
00:06:20,740 --> 00:06:22,610
Beside the point.

107
00:06:22,660 --> 00:06:26,610
I'm sure Eddie Cook's regretting
not redecorating his kitchen.

108
00:06:26,660 --> 00:06:30,620
It looks like we've both
been found out today, dunnit?

109
00:06:34,020 --> 00:06:36,010
'Two numbers tonight from Nazareth...'

110
00:06:36,060 --> 00:06:38,170
'I was hopelessly in
love with Miss Blondel.

111
00:06:38,220 --> 00:06:40,820
'Oh, I knew what love was all right.

112
00:06:42,580 --> 00:06:46,570
'In my fantasies, I had already been
married twice before the age of 12.

113
00:06:46,620 --> 00:06:49,770
'My first fantasy bride was Cilla Black.'

114
00:06:49,820 --> 00:06:55,970
Do you, Cilla "Step Inside Love"
Black, from BBC One, take Danny to

115
00:06:56,020 --> 00:07:01,050
be your husband, and be with him all
the time, even in the bath and that?

116
00:07:01,100 --> 00:07:03,370
- I really, really do.
- Ah!

117
00:07:03,900 --> 00:07:08,930
♪ You're my world You're
every breath I take... ♪

118
00:07:08,980 --> 00:07:12,650
'I thought Cilla and I were
going to be together forever.'

119
00:07:12,700 --> 00:07:14,970
♪ I see the stars... ♪

120
00:07:15,020 --> 00:07:18,330
'But then on holiday, Dad
took us to see Anita Harris.'

121
00:07:18,380 --> 00:07:22,090
I'd like to sing next one
of my favourite songs.

122
00:07:22,140 --> 00:07:24,970
It's called The Anniversary Waltz.

123
00:07:25,020 --> 00:07:27,090
'And I fell in love again.'

124
00:07:27,140 --> 00:07:32,170
But before I do, I want to
find a young man to sing it to.

125
00:07:32,220 --> 00:07:34,210
You there, what's your name?

126
00:07:34,260 --> 00:07:37,540
- Danny. - Well, Dennis
-- this one's for you.

127
00:07:39,740 --> 00:07:45,660
♪ Tell me I may always dance

128
00:07:46,820 --> 00:07:52,500
♪ The anniversary waltz with you... ♪

129
00:07:56,620 --> 00:07:59,690
'So Anita Harris became
my second fantasy wife.'

130
00:07:59,740 --> 00:08:04,290
Do you, Anita "Anniversary Waltz"
Harris, whom so many other people

131
00:08:04,340 --> 00:08:08,290
would love to be marrying,
take this man, Dennis Baker...

132
00:08:08,340 --> 00:08:11,890
- Danny! - Yes -- to be
your lawfully wedded husband?

133
00:08:11,940 --> 00:08:14,690
- Even in the bath and
that. - Indeed. - I do.

134
00:08:14,740 --> 00:08:18,250
And do you take Anita
"Anniversary Waltz" Harris

135
00:08:18,300 --> 00:08:21,050
- to be your next Cilla Black?
- I do.

136
00:08:21,100 --> 00:08:23,810
- Are you going to be all
right, Cilla? - Oh, yeah.

137
00:08:23,860 --> 00:08:27,130
I'm just about to vanish from
his life with an audible pop.

138
00:08:29,580 --> 00:08:32,890
Life is perfect.

139
00:08:32,940 --> 00:08:37,010
'But Miss Blondel was no fantasy
-- she was only too real!'

140
00:08:38,380 --> 00:08:41,180
Get out of my way, you four-legged ponce.

141
00:08:41,700 --> 00:08:43,970
I'm sure you're going senile.

142
00:08:45,860 --> 00:08:49,530
- I've had a nightmare, Bet...
Where's your mother? - Upstairs.

143
00:08:49,580 --> 00:08:50,730
What you watching?

144
00:08:50,780 --> 00:08:53,570
It's Old Grey Whistle Test but
the tracking's all over the place.

145
00:08:53,620 --> 00:08:56,770
Fucking thing's up the spout.
It's a monstrosity. Bet!

146
00:09:03,340 --> 00:09:05,170
What you got there -- dirty picture?

147
00:09:05,220 --> 00:09:06,730
No, it's just Old Grey Whistle Test.

148
00:09:06,780 --> 00:09:08,850
What? Where's your father?

149
00:09:08,900 --> 00:09:11,810
- Upstairs looking for you.
- What's going on here?

150
00:09:11,860 --> 00:09:13,570
- Where you been?
- Where you been?

151
00:09:13,620 --> 00:09:16,210
Don't start, Bet. I've
had a bastard morning.

152
00:09:16,260 --> 00:09:17,810
Told the blokes at work, then?

153
00:09:17,860 --> 00:09:20,490
- Yeah. Yeah.
- How did they take it?

154
00:09:20,540 --> 00:09:23,650
How d'you think they took
it? They think I'm crackers.

155
00:09:23,700 --> 00:09:26,250
- Why? No different from all the
others who took the money. - I am!

156
00:09:26,300 --> 00:09:29,890
Two weeks ago, I was threatening to throw
blokes in the drink just for talking about it.

157
00:09:29,940 --> 00:09:31,690
I'm a turncoat, Bet. I'm a turncoat.

158
00:09:31,740 --> 00:09:34,450
No, you are not. You are doing
what you've always done,

159
00:09:34,500 --> 00:09:36,970
- you're putting your
family first. - Am I?

160
00:09:37,020 --> 00:09:39,810
Blimey, Fred, you've always
said a job's just a job.

161
00:09:39,860 --> 00:09:42,130
- Now look at you.
- I know but I feel exposed.

162
00:09:42,180 --> 00:09:45,930
- Like I'm walking around without
any trousers, like Eddie Cook. - Eh?

163
00:09:45,980 --> 00:09:48,050
I'll tell you later.

164
00:09:48,100 --> 00:09:50,610
Look. Sod your mates at work.

165
00:09:50,660 --> 00:09:53,370
Your daughter is going to have
the wedding she's always wanted

166
00:09:53,420 --> 00:09:56,780
because of what you've done and
you should be proud of that.

167
00:09:59,220 --> 00:10:01,210
Blimey, Fred. You ain't
had your wits removed.

168
00:10:01,260 --> 00:10:03,530
You can still earn a living.

169
00:10:04,260 --> 00:10:06,890
Yeah. Yeah, you're right.

170
00:10:06,940 --> 00:10:11,290
You're right. I'm acting like a Mary-Ann.

171
00:10:11,340 --> 00:10:13,370
So things are going to change. So what?

172
00:10:13,420 --> 00:10:15,610
That's what life's all
about. Keeps you on your toes.

173
00:10:15,660 --> 00:10:17,570
Life is risk, Bet, it's a gamble.

174
00:10:17,620 --> 00:10:19,730
If you're bold -- you get your rewards.

175
00:10:19,780 --> 00:10:22,380
Take a jump in the dark and move on.

176
00:10:23,020 --> 00:10:25,090
Yeah, Dad, I want to leave school.

177
00:10:25,140 --> 00:10:26,410
Balls to that.

178
00:10:26,460 --> 00:10:29,570
You're staying right where you
are and that's the end of it.

179
00:10:29,620 --> 00:10:31,610
♪ Sweet home Alabama... ♪

180
00:10:31,660 --> 00:10:34,370
- So what did your old man say?
- He said I can do what I want.

181
00:10:34,420 --> 00:10:35,650
He'll back me up all the way.

182
00:10:35,700 --> 00:10:38,970
Why would you want to leave
now? No-one leaves at Easter.

183
00:10:39,020 --> 00:10:40,930
Just wait till summer like the rest of us.

184
00:10:40,980 --> 00:10:43,250
Well, I wanna leave now.
Got things I want to do.

185
00:10:43,300 --> 00:10:44,970
SOMEONE you want to do.

186
00:10:45,020 --> 00:10:48,250
Yeah, well, I got two birds
I can charver any time I like

187
00:10:48,300 --> 00:10:50,170
and they ain't old.

188
00:10:50,220 --> 00:10:52,810
There's only four days
till the end of term, Dan.

189
00:10:52,860 --> 00:10:57,140
- Yeah? - So, in four days, you're
not going to be one of us any more?

190
00:10:59,140 --> 00:11:01,210
'Be bold -- a jump in the dark.

191
00:11:01,260 --> 00:11:05,530
'that's what Dad had
said and he was right.

192
00:11:05,580 --> 00:11:08,490
'Meanwhile, inspired by Mum's pep talk,

193
00:11:08,540 --> 00:11:11,810
'he was already exploring
new career opportunities.'

194
00:11:11,860 --> 00:11:14,890
Rag and BO-NEEE-ER!

195
00:11:14,940 --> 00:11:18,450
'His old mate Tony The Totter had
agreed to give him a try-out.'

196
00:11:18,500 --> 00:11:20,850
Oi, love. Is this yours?
You tossing all this out?

197
00:11:20,900 --> 00:11:23,610
The council said to leave it there
till they come and collect it.

198
00:11:23,660 --> 00:11:26,130
Council? That'll lay
there for weeks, that.

199
00:11:26,180 --> 00:11:28,650
- I'll take it off your hands.
- What you going to give me for it?

200
00:11:28,700 --> 00:11:32,450
What I'll give you for it --
access to my body 24 hours a day.

201
00:11:32,500 --> 00:11:33,840
Hey-hey!

202
00:11:36,940 --> 00:11:39,940
- That's all right, innit?
- Good man, Spud.

203
00:11:45,700 --> 00:11:47,650
'Dad wasn't afraid of hard work

204
00:11:47,700 --> 00:11:50,500
'and he didn't care what people thought.'

205
00:11:55,580 --> 00:11:59,170
♪ I'm thinking about the images
stored in my memory bank... ♪

206
00:11:59,220 --> 00:12:00,560
Walk on.

207
00:12:02,060 --> 00:12:07,410
♪ I'm lost inside a paradise,
my mind goes all blank... ♪

208
00:12:07,460 --> 00:12:08,810
This is the life!

209
00:12:08,860 --> 00:12:10,770
You were born to it, Spud.

210
00:12:10,820 --> 00:12:13,890
We'll have you out in
your own cart in no time.

211
00:12:13,940 --> 00:12:17,410
I think this game is going to
suit me right down to the ground.

212
00:12:17,460 --> 00:12:20,570
Life on the open road!

213
00:12:20,620 --> 00:12:24,420
- Oh, you dirty bastard.
- Ooh! - Dirty bastard.

214
00:12:29,260 --> 00:12:31,650
Ever thought about doing this in a van?

215
00:12:31,700 --> 00:12:32,770
What you doing?

216
00:12:32,820 --> 00:12:34,010
Bagging it up.

217
00:12:34,060 --> 00:12:38,570
Them big houses in Eltham
will pay good money for it.

218
00:12:38,620 --> 00:12:41,050
- Go on.
- Always stop for it.

219
00:12:41,100 --> 00:12:44,340
It's like leaving pound
notes lying in the road.

220
00:12:51,900 --> 00:12:55,620
'The family's social standing was
a little more important to Mum.'

221
00:12:59,940 --> 00:13:04,490
- Hello, Bill.
- Miss Elizabeth Taylor, upon my soul!

222
00:13:04,540 --> 00:13:07,050
One so precious should not be
left at the mercy of the 199

223
00:13:07,100 --> 00:13:10,810
to Catford Garage -- allow me to
convey you back to the film set.

224
00:13:10,860 --> 00:13:12,600
Oh, lovely, yeah.

225
00:13:14,020 --> 00:13:16,650
Elizabeth Taylor? I like that!

226
00:13:16,700 --> 00:13:20,420
Oh, I been on me feet all day,
packing bleeding Bourbon biscuits.

227
00:13:21,620 --> 00:13:24,450
Well, this is luxurious, Bill.

228
00:13:24,500 --> 00:13:26,810
A reward for honest endeavour, Beatrice.

229
00:13:26,860 --> 00:13:32,090
Speaking of which, I haven't seen
Brother Baker for a couple of weeks
-- is he gainfully employed?

230
00:13:32,140 --> 00:13:33,970
Oh, he's working, yeah.

231
00:13:34,020 --> 00:13:36,250
High Court Judge? Standing for parliament?

232
00:13:36,300 --> 00:13:38,650
I know they're looking
for a new James Bond!

233
00:13:38,700 --> 00:13:41,330
He's in, er, commerce.

234
00:13:41,380 --> 00:13:44,090
- Commerce?
- Yeah, you know, buying and selling.

235
00:13:44,140 --> 00:13:46,690
Ah, so he's joined my world.

236
00:13:46,740 --> 00:13:48,880
Something like that, yeah.

237
00:13:51,980 --> 00:13:55,530
Rag-a-bo-oone!

238
00:13:55,580 --> 00:13:57,530
'The old man loved being a totter.'

239
00:13:57,580 --> 00:14:00,010
♪ Take it easy... ♪

240
00:14:00,060 --> 00:14:03,370
'But there was one thing he
always looked for in a job.

241
00:14:03,420 --> 00:14:05,090
'What he called "scope".'

242
00:14:05,140 --> 00:14:08,570
- Manure? - You what, love? - Manure?
- Totter? - Manure? - I was here first!

243
00:14:08,620 --> 00:14:10,330
'And it didn't take him long to realise

244
00:14:10,380 --> 00:14:13,530
'that the demand for horse manure
in the well-to-do neighbourhoods

245
00:14:13,580 --> 00:14:16,010
'far outstripped his old
nag's capacity to supply it.'

246
00:14:16,060 --> 00:14:17,370
For my roses.

247
00:14:17,420 --> 00:14:19,650
- Please!
- Whoa, steady.

248
00:14:19,700 --> 00:14:21,450
'What followed was inevitable.'

249
00:14:21,500 --> 00:14:26,650
♪ Marta, rambling rose of the wild wood

250
00:14:26,700 --> 00:14:28,250
♪ Marta... ♪

251
00:14:28,300 --> 00:14:29,570
Whoa!

252
00:14:29,620 --> 00:14:32,090
♪ With your fragrance divine... ♪

253
00:14:32,140 --> 00:14:34,570
- All right, Tony!
- Spud.

254
00:14:34,620 --> 00:14:38,850
Whoa! I've got 14 sheets
of corrugated iron on there.

255
00:14:38,900 --> 00:14:41,050
Give us me whack before
I go, cos I need it.

256
00:14:41,100 --> 00:14:42,930
- Spud.
- What?

257
00:14:42,980 --> 00:14:44,490
There's been a complaint.

258
00:14:44,540 --> 00:14:47,330
- What? - For the first time
in the history of this yard,

259
00:14:47,380 --> 00:14:50,170
somebody has returned a
bag of our horse manure.

260
00:14:50,220 --> 00:14:53,290
Because it was packed out with rubble!

261
00:14:53,340 --> 00:14:56,290
Now I've worked that area
of Eltham all my life.

262
00:14:56,340 --> 00:14:59,850
And now you've ruined it on us.
They don't want us back there.

263
00:14:59,900 --> 00:15:02,210
I was just trying to spin
it out a bit further, Tony.

264
00:15:02,260 --> 00:15:03,650
He only goes once a day.

265
00:15:03,700 --> 00:15:05,370
It's shit, Spud.

266
00:15:05,420 --> 00:15:08,520
How can you try and swindle
people out of shit?

267
00:15:12,740 --> 00:15:15,490
One for the road?

268
00:15:18,420 --> 00:15:19,970
It's your fault.

269
00:15:20,020 --> 00:15:24,620
♪ Mmm, I'm a fool for a cigarette

270
00:15:26,900 --> 00:15:31,260
♪ Lord, I'm a fool for a cigarette... ♪

271
00:15:33,740 --> 00:15:35,490
It don't make no sense.

272
00:15:35,540 --> 00:15:37,770
How can you be fired from
being a rag-and-bone man?

273
00:15:37,820 --> 00:15:39,970
- You didn't like me doing it anyway!
- No, I didn't.

274
00:15:40,020 --> 00:15:43,290
It's bleeding embarrassing. I
been telling people all sorts.

275
00:15:43,340 --> 00:15:46,610
But why has everything got to be a racket?

276
00:15:46,660 --> 00:15:49,400
I'm surprised you didn't sell the horse.

277
00:15:51,020 --> 00:15:53,570
Can I remind you why I was
doin' it in the first place?

278
00:15:53,620 --> 00:15:56,410
What about Sharon, the wedding she
wanted? What about being proud?

279
00:15:56,460 --> 00:16:00,570
Fred! You were never going to pay for it with
what came out of an horse's arse, were you?

280
00:16:00,620 --> 00:16:02,330
And this is just what you are like.

281
00:16:02,380 --> 00:16:03,690
Everything has got to be bent.

282
00:16:03,740 --> 00:16:07,130
- Well, what d'you want me to be -- a copper?
- That wouldn't be a bad idea.

283
00:16:07,180 --> 00:16:09,570
You're losing your self-control.

284
00:16:09,620 --> 00:16:12,220
And you are losin' your self-respect.

285
00:16:15,180 --> 00:16:17,410
Don't you look at me like that.

286
00:16:17,460 --> 00:16:20,610
I'd take a tenner for you right now.

287
00:16:20,660 --> 00:16:23,810
I've only ever seen Yvonne cry
once, at the end of Butch Cassidy.

288
00:16:23,860 --> 00:16:26,570
You've been going out with her
ages. What you going to say to her?

289
00:16:26,620 --> 00:16:28,970
Well, it's not easy to
break a girl's heart, Tom,

290
00:16:29,020 --> 00:16:32,050
but I think, in the long run, she'll
see I'm actually just being kind.

291
00:16:32,100 --> 00:16:35,810
- Have you got a plan? - I'm going to go
round, see if she fancies going up the Wimpy,

292
00:16:35,860 --> 00:16:38,890
and have one last great night
together before I tell her.

293
00:16:38,940 --> 00:16:41,450
She'll be upset but Yvonne's just a girl.

294
00:16:41,500 --> 00:16:43,250
I need a woman now, I'm not...

295
00:16:43,300 --> 00:16:44,930
- Danny!
- Hello, darling.

296
00:16:44,980 --> 00:16:48,650
Don't "darling" me. So you're going
out with this school teacher, then?

297
00:16:48,700 --> 00:16:50,890
- Where d'you hear that?
- Only from about 100 people cos

298
00:16:50,940 --> 00:16:53,450
you've been telling everyone
you're having it off with her.

299
00:16:53,500 --> 00:16:55,890
- I haven't. - You have. It's
what you told everyone about me.

300
00:16:55,940 --> 00:16:58,210
Just make sure you remember
to take your school cap off

301
00:16:58,260 --> 00:17:00,930
- while you're doing it.
- I don't know what you're talking about.

302
00:17:00,980 --> 00:17:03,490
- Tommy, you know about this, don't ya?
- About what?

303
00:17:03,540 --> 00:17:07,610
Go away. You're useless, you are.
Anyway -- I'm finishing with you.

304
00:17:07,660 --> 00:17:11,010
Tony Gooch asked me out. He's from
the co-op. I really fancy him. So...

305
00:17:11,060 --> 00:17:12,850
Tony Gooch. I don't know him.

306
00:17:12,900 --> 00:17:15,810
You don't have to, do you, darling?

307
00:17:15,860 --> 00:17:17,490
D'you want to go up the Wimpy?

308
00:17:17,540 --> 00:17:19,370
No. No, I don't.

309
00:17:19,420 --> 00:17:22,090
And I don't want you to talk to
me or even look at me ever again,

310
00:17:22,140 --> 00:17:24,880
do you understand? Good! See you, then!

311
00:17:35,140 --> 00:17:37,850
She's brilliant, ain't she?

312
00:17:37,900 --> 00:17:40,530
Mind if I go out with her?

313
00:17:40,580 --> 00:17:42,180
Fuck off, Tom!

314
00:17:44,780 --> 00:17:47,860
'Unemployed again, Dad
was missing the old gang.'

315
00:17:49,620 --> 00:17:53,010
- That's all she was bothered about.
- Hey, we miss ya, Spud, straight we do.

316
00:17:53,060 --> 00:17:55,450
Did I ever tell you the
totter's story? Listen to this.

317
00:17:55,500 --> 00:17:57,650
'Ere, we've got to get back.
It's quarter to three.

318
00:17:57,700 --> 00:18:00,050
No, it'll only take a minute.
It'll only take a minute.

319
00:18:00,100 --> 00:18:03,810
Save it, Spud, save it. We'll
be back at six. See ya later.

320
00:18:03,860 --> 00:18:06,810
- Ta-ra. - Tell you what, Spud.
You've got nothing else to do --

321
00:18:06,860 --> 00:18:09,460
you might as well have a kip in here.

322
00:18:17,780 --> 00:18:19,610
'Another year behind us...'

323
00:18:19,660 --> 00:18:22,570
'As for me, I was still
wrestling with myself.

324
00:18:22,620 --> 00:18:24,650
'Should I stay or should I go?'

325
00:18:24,700 --> 00:18:27,730
.. so a big thank you to Mr
Glover and the football team.

326
00:18:35,020 --> 00:18:38,050
Sorry we couldn't organise
the open-top bus, Mr Glover.

327
00:18:40,900 --> 00:18:44,810
But now before Jeremy Langford
reads us his specially written poem

328
00:18:44,860 --> 00:18:46,290
"The Term of My Life"...

329
00:18:46,340 --> 00:18:47,810
WANKER!

330
00:18:47,860 --> 00:18:49,290
Oh, poem!

331
00:18:49,340 --> 00:18:50,890
Fine, settle, settle down, please!

332
00:18:50,940 --> 00:18:53,690
I would ask any remaining boys
who will be leaving us this week

333
00:18:53,740 --> 00:18:55,810
to come forward and place
their release forms,

334
00:18:55,860 --> 00:18:59,100
which must be signed by their
parents, on the desk here.

335
00:19:05,460 --> 00:19:07,980
♪ When I

336
00:19:11,340 --> 00:19:14,180
♪ Hold my hand out...

337
00:19:18,060 --> 00:19:19,700
♪ I saw... ♪

338
00:19:21,620 --> 00:19:23,140
Oh!

339
00:19:24,580 --> 00:19:29,250
Oh, you frightened the life out of
me -- I thought you was a ghost.

340
00:19:29,300 --> 00:19:31,300
Yeah. I think I am!

341
00:19:34,220 --> 00:19:38,210
Murder, innit, Spud? Being out.

342
00:19:38,260 --> 00:19:40,970
Worst day's work I've
ever done in my life.

343
00:19:41,020 --> 00:19:42,650
What was I thinking?

344
00:19:42,700 --> 00:19:45,130
Fancy a pint?

345
00:19:45,180 --> 00:19:48,250
Nah, I can't -- I got too much to
do preparing for tomorrow morning.

346
00:19:48,300 --> 00:19:50,460
Not you and all.

347
00:19:51,580 --> 00:19:54,010
You'll sort something out, Spud.

348
00:19:54,060 --> 00:19:58,610
I'm struggling. Straight
up, I'm struggling.

349
00:19:58,660 --> 00:20:00,690
- And the real...
- Oh, bloody hell.

350
00:20:00,740 --> 00:20:04,690
All right, old type, what you
lot doing hiding in here?

351
00:20:04,740 --> 00:20:06,490
Here, Wally, who have you come as?

352
00:20:06,540 --> 00:20:10,170
I'm the killer gorilla in a
Perspex hat -- who says so?

353
00:20:10,220 --> 00:20:11,450
I say so, and that's that.

354
00:20:11,500 --> 00:20:13,410
What, you doorman down the Regal now?

355
00:20:13,460 --> 00:20:16,250
No, the Royal Division
Of Commissionaires, Spud.

356
00:20:16,300 --> 00:20:19,290
The official custodian of
a magnificent new executive

357
00:20:19,340 --> 00:20:22,170
establishment now standing
on the site formerly known as

358
00:20:22,220 --> 00:20:24,850
the old Tobacco Dock.

359
00:20:24,900 --> 00:20:26,810
You used to work at Tobacco Dock.

360
00:20:26,860 --> 00:20:31,130
Still do, Spud. Still do, but
now it's known as Ottawa House,

361
00:20:31,180 --> 00:20:33,570
headquarters of the Royal Bank of Canada.

362
00:20:33,620 --> 00:20:36,450
And my job is to keep
out riff-raff like you.

363
00:20:36,500 --> 00:20:37,970
Now that's a turncoat.

364
00:20:38,020 --> 00:20:39,970
I'm only playing -- what's
the matter with you?

365
00:20:40,020 --> 00:20:42,250
All the lads are at it --
all the chaps are down here.

366
00:20:42,300 --> 00:20:44,330
You've got Geoff Kelly. Danny Marney.

367
00:20:44,380 --> 00:20:48,050
Keefy Pace -- I mean, half the West
India Dock have joined the RDC now.

368
00:20:48,100 --> 00:20:52,650
- So, what do you do?
- Well, we're 50% security, 50% messenger boy,

369
00:20:52,700 --> 00:20:54,770
and 50% right at it.

370
00:20:54,820 --> 00:20:57,850
Now, Alfie, I've got six
gross of skinless chipolatas,

371
00:20:57,900 --> 00:21:01,770
generously if unwittingly donated
by my esteemed employers.

372
00:21:01,820 --> 00:21:03,770
Lovely, I'll sort you
out later down the pub.

373
00:21:03,820 --> 00:21:05,450
What, there's scope?

374
00:21:05,500 --> 00:21:07,530
Scope, Spud? Scope?

375
00:21:07,580 --> 00:21:10,610
It's like the wild
fucking west, my old son.

376
00:21:10,660 --> 00:21:12,410
Next best thing to the docks, this is.

377
00:21:12,460 --> 00:21:13,810
Yeah, how d'you get in the swim?

378
00:21:13,860 --> 00:21:16,290
All you need is a clean Army record.

379
00:21:16,340 --> 00:21:17,530
Well, that's me out of it.

380
00:21:17,580 --> 00:21:20,730
Spent all my National Service on the run.

381
00:21:20,780 --> 00:21:22,090
Spud.

382
00:21:22,140 --> 00:21:24,450
Let me put it another way, my old son.

383
00:21:24,500 --> 00:21:27,170
All you need is to get hold
of a clean Army record.

384
00:21:27,220 --> 00:21:30,250
I've got a good Army record --
Vera Lynn, White Cliffs Of Dover.

385
00:21:30,300 --> 00:21:31,770
Not now, Alfie. Not now.

386
00:21:31,820 --> 00:21:34,290
- Not now, Alf.
- What if I could get hold of one, then?

387
00:21:34,340 --> 00:21:37,210
Well, then, I would propose you,
one of the chaps would second you,

388
00:21:37,260 --> 00:21:39,930
I'll take you down to get measured
up for the old, er, uniform.

389
00:21:39,980 --> 00:21:43,050
I think that could be arranged,
Woody. I think that could be arranged.

390
00:21:43,100 --> 00:21:45,050
Well, in that case,
Fredrick, my old China,

391
00:21:45,100 --> 00:21:46,450
welcome to the RDC, sire.

392
00:21:46,500 --> 00:21:48,890
- Hey, hey!
- Hey, hey!

393
00:21:48,940 --> 00:21:51,690
♪ We are the soldiers
of the Queen, my lads

394
00:21:51,740 --> 00:21:55,810
♪ Who've been, my lads, and seen, my lads

395
00:21:55,860 --> 00:21:58,730
♪ We'll fight for England's glory

396
00:21:58,780 --> 00:22:01,930
♪ And we'll show them what we mean. ♪

397
00:22:01,980 --> 00:22:04,170
- Whoa-ho!
- Where you going, Spud?

398
00:22:04,220 --> 00:22:06,220
To war, Alfie. To war!

399
00:22:11,100 --> 00:22:13,930
And so, fellow pupils As we race to finish

400
00:22:13,980 --> 00:22:15,970
We are strengthened by
knowing we were schooled

401
00:22:16,020 --> 00:22:17,610
In fair West Greenwich.

402
00:22:17,660 --> 00:22:19,210
Oh, fair...!

403
00:22:19,260 --> 00:22:22,890
Boo!

404
00:22:26,620 --> 00:22:28,730
Thank you. Thank you, Jeremy.

405
00:22:28,780 --> 00:22:31,450
Well, I'm, I'm sure that
has all of you asking --

406
00:22:31,500 --> 00:22:34,700
- just what will the next
year bring? - I'm not.

407
00:22:36,780 --> 00:22:38,930
Yes, right, settle.

408
00:22:40,820 --> 00:22:43,570
Right, so members of staff will
also be leaving us at term's end,

409
00:22:43,620 --> 00:22:46,530
eight of them all told and
I'm sure we all wish them well

410
00:22:46,580 --> 00:22:49,690
with the various professions
that they've chosen.

411
00:22:49,740 --> 00:22:52,290
And for many of you, there
will be challenges...

412
00:22:52,340 --> 00:22:54,930
Baker, where you goin'?

413
00:22:54,980 --> 00:22:57,410
.. to meet, new mountains...

414
00:22:57,460 --> 00:23:00,570
- Baker, will you sit down? I
haven't finished yet. - I have.

415
00:23:00,620 --> 00:23:02,610
Ooh!

416
00:23:02,660 --> 00:23:05,410
Right, Baker. Baker?
Baker, come back here!

417
00:23:05,460 --> 00:23:08,610
- You are still a pupil at this school.
- No, I'm not.

418
00:23:14,100 --> 00:23:18,610
All, right, quiet. Quiet!
No, quiet. Sit... no! Quiet!

419
00:23:18,660 --> 00:23:20,800
- Come on, lads!
- Quiet!

420
00:23:23,180 --> 00:23:24,970
Quiet, please.

421
00:23:25,020 --> 00:23:27,560
'This was great. I felt liberated.

422
00:23:28,300 --> 00:23:31,660
'Then it occurred to me -- what
was I going to tell him indoors?'

423
00:23:33,020 --> 00:23:34,340
Shit!

424
00:23:35,780 --> 00:23:38,930
'My solution was simple -- I
wouldn't tell them anything.'

425
00:23:38,980 --> 00:23:40,290
See you.

426
00:23:40,340 --> 00:23:42,530
- Oh, hold on. Nearly forgot.
- What?

427
00:23:42,580 --> 00:23:46,210
It's Friday. You've got woodwork.
Nearly forgot your apron.

428
00:23:46,260 --> 00:23:49,050
- Of course. - Forget your
head if it weren't screwed on.

429
00:23:49,100 --> 00:23:50,820
Yeah. Bye.

430
00:23:53,900 --> 00:23:57,050
'Today at last, I was
going to show Miss Blondel

431
00:23:57,100 --> 00:23:59,170
'I was not a little schoolboy any more.

432
00:23:59,220 --> 00:24:02,860
'But before I could see her in
class, I first had to go to church.'

433
00:24:34,860 --> 00:24:36,930
Baker, where's your uniform?

434
00:24:36,980 --> 00:24:41,090
- I... left. Remember?
- Oh, yes. What are you doing here?

435
00:24:41,140 --> 00:24:44,490
I've come back again, you
know -- stay in touch, Ronald.

436
00:24:44,540 --> 00:24:46,250
Seems to me a lot of
you boys leave one day

437
00:24:46,300 --> 00:24:48,570
and return the next just
for the simple thrill

438
00:24:48,620 --> 00:24:51,970
of calling my staff and I by our
Christian name -- am I right?

439
00:24:52,020 --> 00:24:53,610
No...

440
00:24:53,660 --> 00:24:55,000
Ronald.

441
00:24:56,580 --> 00:24:58,450
On your way, Baker.

442
00:24:59,140 --> 00:25:01,140
You can call me Danny!

443
00:25:18,700 --> 00:25:19,970
Where's Louise?

444
00:25:20,020 --> 00:25:21,170
Who?

445
00:25:21,220 --> 00:25:23,940
- Miss Blondel.
- In the dark room.

446
00:25:30,260 --> 00:25:33,770
Oh. Hi, er... Miss Blondel.

447
00:25:33,820 --> 00:25:35,490
Hello, Danny.

448
00:25:43,940 --> 00:25:47,650
So -- is there anything you want?

449
00:25:47,700 --> 00:25:49,100
Er, yeah.

450
00:25:52,180 --> 00:25:54,380
I was just wondering, er...

451
00:25:57,860 --> 00:26:00,250
.. what you were doing at lunchtime?

452
00:26:00,300 --> 00:26:02,530
Having my lunch, I expect.

453
00:26:02,580 --> 00:26:04,890
Er, yeah. Yeah. Of course.

454
00:26:04,940 --> 00:26:08,170
Now if you don't mind, I do
have a class to take, Danny.

455
00:26:08,220 --> 00:26:10,130
Merci.

456
00:26:10,180 --> 00:26:12,690
Oh, very nice, Louis.

457
00:26:12,740 --> 00:26:14,940
You need some green, right?

458
00:26:16,260 --> 00:26:18,370
You do know I have left school now?

459
00:26:18,420 --> 00:26:19,960
Yes. I know.

460
00:26:21,540 --> 00:26:27,330
Let me see, because this green is a
bit... this colour is a bit fading.

461
00:26:27,380 --> 00:26:30,220
Do you want to use the yellow? Yeah? OK.

462
00:26:37,060 --> 00:26:41,090
♪ All the young dudes... ♪

463
00:26:41,140 --> 00:26:42,940
'What had I done?'

464
00:26:43,540 --> 00:26:48,570
♪ Boogaloo dudes carry the news... ♪

465
00:26:48,620 --> 00:26:51,020
- Hello, Baker.
- Hello, Neil.

466
00:26:52,020 --> 00:26:57,410
♪ They say time will wait for no man

467
00:26:57,460 --> 00:27:02,570
♪ They say time is on my side

468
00:27:02,620 --> 00:27:05,770
♪ I can never make my mind up

469
00:27:05,820 --> 00:27:12,130
♪ As it all goes whizzing by
from the cradle to the grave

470
00:27:12,180 --> 00:27:14,770
♪ From the cradle to the grave

471
00:27:14,820 --> 00:27:17,010
♪ I know I won't be a slave

472
00:27:17,060 --> 00:27:19,930
♪ I know I won't be a slave

473
00:27:19,980 --> 00:27:22,060
♪ To the mistakes that I've made... ♪