1 00:00:09,440 --> 00:00:10,920 ALARM PLAYS MUSIC 2 00:00:15,440 --> 00:00:16,480 SHE SIGHS 3 00:00:19,360 --> 00:00:21,200 I've got a good feeling about today. 4 00:00:38,240 --> 00:00:41,720 Hiya. Hi, guys. Hey, man! 5 00:00:41,720 --> 00:00:43,200 Oh, sorry. 6 00:00:43,200 --> 00:00:47,880 # Ooh, something's got a hold of me now 7 00:00:49,160 --> 00:00:54,400 # It's a feeling Burnin' up like I'm on fire 8 00:00:55,840 --> 00:00:57,760 # Hold me tight, babe 9 00:00:57,760 --> 00:01:00,320 # Don't leave me by myself tonight 10 00:01:01,960 --> 00:01:06,360 # Cos I don't think I can make it through the night 11 00:01:07,960 --> 00:01:09,440 # I think I'm in love 12 00:01:11,240 --> 00:01:12,520 # And my life's lookin' up 13 00:01:14,480 --> 00:01:15,800 # I think I'm in love 14 00:01:17,440 --> 00:01:19,600 # Cos I can't get enough 15 00:01:19,600 --> 00:01:20,640 # No, no, no 16 00:01:20,640 --> 00:01:21,880 # I think I'm in love 17 00:01:24,160 --> 00:01:26,880 # It's got to be love. # 18 00:01:37,600 --> 00:01:38,760 HE YAWNS LOUDLY 19 00:01:38,760 --> 00:01:40,680 Morning, Chief Ken! KEN MUMBLES 20 00:01:40,680 --> 00:01:42,200 It's a beautiful day, isn't it? 21 00:01:42,200 --> 00:01:43,480 I'm sure. Give me a minute. 22 00:01:47,560 --> 00:01:50,400 No, no, no! It can't be! It can't be! 23 00:01:50,400 --> 00:01:51,960 Ah! 24 00:01:51,960 --> 00:01:54,280 Woo-hoo! What's going on? 25 00:01:54,280 --> 00:01:57,800 It's me! I've been nominated for Lawyer of the Year! 26 00:01:57,800 --> 00:02:01,640 Woo-hoo-hoo! Je suis the King! Yes! 27 00:02:05,480 --> 00:02:06,520 # I think I'm in love 28 00:02:08,160 --> 00:02:10,280 # Cos I can't get enough 29 00:02:10,280 --> 00:02:11,320 # No, no, no 30 00:02:11,320 --> 00:02:12,800 # I think I'm in love 31 00:02:14,600 --> 00:02:17,520 # It's got to be love. # 32 00:02:18,560 --> 00:02:21,560 Tea for the King. Why, thank you. 33 00:02:21,560 --> 00:02:23,400 You little beauty! 34 00:02:23,400 --> 00:02:26,840 Just imagine - Chief Ken, Best Lawyer in the Country! 35 00:02:26,840 --> 00:02:28,840 Well, it's Lichfield. 36 00:02:28,840 --> 00:02:30,880 Lichfield Lawyer of the Year. Oh, got it. 37 00:02:30,880 --> 00:02:33,080 So it's not half as big of a deal as I thought. Well... 38 00:02:33,080 --> 00:02:35,880 Still, Chief Ken, I'm excited for you to collect your prize - 39 00:02:35,880 --> 00:02:37,760 meagre though it may be. 40 00:02:37,760 --> 00:02:41,040 Every year, we just get drunk and bored at that fancy black tie do. 41 00:02:41,040 --> 00:02:43,200 This will give it all meaning. Right. 42 00:02:43,200 --> 00:02:45,800 Oi! It's our charity that runs that ceremony. 43 00:02:45,800 --> 00:02:48,840 Me and Nina work very hard to get you drunk, Mum. 44 00:02:48,840 --> 00:02:50,160 Or at least I do. 45 00:02:50,160 --> 00:02:51,640 Nina networks. 46 00:02:51,640 --> 00:02:53,040 Network Nina! 47 00:02:53,040 --> 00:02:54,640 OK, Mum. Move your arse! 48 00:02:54,640 --> 00:02:58,480 Dylan, your father has been nominated for an award! 49 00:02:58,480 --> 00:03:01,920 Oh! Congratulations! Loser of the Year? 50 00:03:01,920 --> 00:03:03,960 It's great you're finally getting recognised. 51 00:03:03,960 --> 00:03:05,480 Right. You work in phone sales. 52 00:03:05,480 --> 00:03:07,440 Your monthly wage couldn't buy a Mars Bar, 53 00:03:07,440 --> 00:03:09,560 and you're getting a lift to work with your mother. 54 00:03:09,560 --> 00:03:12,160 Money's tight, but he's not scrimping on hair gel, is he? 55 00:03:12,160 --> 00:03:14,040 Well, I can't help being a baller, Rach. 56 00:03:14,040 --> 00:03:15,480 God gave me balls, 57 00:03:15,480 --> 00:03:16,520 and I ball with them. 58 00:03:16,520 --> 00:03:19,320 Do you think your balls might give me some rent some time? 59 00:03:19,320 --> 00:03:21,040 Do you think you might suck my balls? 60 00:03:21,040 --> 00:03:22,680 Dylan! 61 00:03:22,680 --> 00:03:25,040 You should have let me hit him when he was smaller. 62 00:03:25,040 --> 00:03:26,560 I bloody should have done! 63 00:03:26,560 --> 00:03:27,600 Mwah. Bye, love. 64 00:03:29,680 --> 00:03:31,680 Chief Ken, could I accompany you to work? 65 00:03:31,680 --> 00:03:33,520 I just... I have a small matter to discuss. 66 00:03:33,520 --> 00:03:35,000 All right, OK, hop to it, then. 67 00:03:35,000 --> 00:03:36,440 You can take that. OK. 68 00:03:44,240 --> 00:03:46,560 This award should really change things. 69 00:03:46,560 --> 00:03:50,840 Jane has been totally undermining me since I got back from paternity leave. 70 00:03:50,840 --> 00:03:56,000 It'll be nice to remind people about who is senior partner and who is NOT senior partner! 71 00:03:56,000 --> 00:03:57,520 You are senior partner, Chief Ken. 72 00:03:57,520 --> 00:03:58,760 You know I am, right? 73 00:04:01,800 --> 00:04:03,440 Dale, are you all right? 74 00:04:03,440 --> 00:04:06,400 You don't seem to be your usual sickeningly cheerful self. 75 00:04:06,400 --> 00:04:09,440 Me? Yeah, everything's fine. 76 00:04:09,440 --> 00:04:12,960 I'm absolutely doodle dandy! Right. OK. 77 00:04:17,040 --> 00:04:19,440 Wait, Dale! Dale! 78 00:04:26,600 --> 00:04:30,200 What the hell is going on? And who's he? 79 00:04:30,200 --> 00:04:34,280 I'm sorry, Chief Ken, I have so many tummy butterflies, the words aren't coming out. 80 00:04:34,280 --> 00:04:36,280 Right, well, get on with it. 81 00:04:36,280 --> 00:04:38,240 This is my workplace! OK, OK. 82 00:04:38,240 --> 00:04:41,280 Chief Ken, I have inhabited your home for several years now. 83 00:04:41,280 --> 00:04:45,280 And I've recently been joined in romantic union with your daughter, as my father was before me. 84 00:04:45,280 --> 00:04:49,240 Yeah, probably best to keep schtum about that one. So... 85 00:04:49,240 --> 00:04:53,640 ..I was wondering, Chief Ken Thompson, would you do me the honour 86 00:04:53,640 --> 00:04:57,280 of permitting me, Dale Ashbrick, to propose to your daughter? 87 00:04:57,280 --> 00:04:58,560 Is this why you're kneeling? 88 00:04:58,560 --> 00:05:00,120 I wanted to do it the traditional way. 89 00:05:00,120 --> 00:05:04,920 Mate, you and Rachel are great together. 90 00:05:04,920 --> 00:05:07,920 It's just...should your focus be wedding rings when you haven't 91 00:05:07,920 --> 00:05:10,360 got a job and you're sharing my bathroom? 92 00:05:12,840 --> 00:05:14,160 Wow! 93 00:05:14,160 --> 00:05:16,400 Tough truths, Chief Ken. 94 00:05:16,400 --> 00:05:18,960 I clearly did not think this one through. 95 00:05:18,960 --> 00:05:20,920 That is super unlike me. 96 00:05:20,920 --> 00:05:23,760 There's plenty of time to get married. 97 00:05:23,760 --> 00:05:24,800 All right? 98 00:05:28,680 --> 00:05:31,160 You're so right, Chief Ken. 99 00:05:31,160 --> 00:05:34,560 I'm going to get the best job that has ever existed, bar none. 100 00:05:34,560 --> 00:05:36,920 Then propose to your daughter and live happily ever after 101 00:05:36,920 --> 00:05:38,160 in Lichfield, England. 102 00:05:40,840 --> 00:05:41,960 OK. 103 00:05:41,960 --> 00:05:43,960 I paid for the whole day - follow me. 104 00:06:01,080 --> 00:06:02,600 On the what?! 105 00:06:08,760 --> 00:06:11,240 Oh, Ken, there you are! Hi, guys. 106 00:06:11,240 --> 00:06:14,320 I've just seen the new Meet the Team board out in the lobby. 107 00:06:14,320 --> 00:06:18,040 Two things - one, why does my photo look like I'm drunk? 108 00:06:18,040 --> 00:06:21,320 And two, my motto makes zero sense. 109 00:06:21,320 --> 00:06:23,080 It's the motto you wanted. 110 00:06:23,080 --> 00:06:24,880 It says, "On the Whole!" 111 00:06:24,880 --> 00:06:27,120 Why would I want that as my motto? Let's see. 112 00:06:27,120 --> 00:06:31,480 I asked for three words that sum up your approach. 113 00:06:31,480 --> 00:06:34,000 Yes, your e-mail read, "On the whole, 114 00:06:34,000 --> 00:06:37,760 "I'd say the most important part of the job, yadda yadda." 115 00:06:37,760 --> 00:06:40,520 Obviously, I had to do an edit. Oh, obviously! 116 00:06:40,520 --> 00:06:43,680 Also, you sent your photo in the wrong format, but Noel had 117 00:06:43,680 --> 00:06:45,040 a snap from the Christmas party. 118 00:06:45,040 --> 00:06:47,000 Got your back, bro! 119 00:06:47,000 --> 00:06:48,400 Well, that is a shame 120 00:06:48,400 --> 00:06:50,640 because all of that's going to have to come down. 121 00:06:50,640 --> 00:06:52,480 Is this some ego thing? 122 00:06:52,480 --> 00:06:53,760 No. 123 00:06:53,760 --> 00:06:57,120 It's about putting our shiniest product in the shop window. 124 00:06:57,120 --> 00:06:58,320 And that is me. 125 00:06:58,320 --> 00:07:00,120 Because... 126 00:07:00,120 --> 00:07:07,920 Well, I have been nominated for Lawyer of the Year. 127 00:07:07,920 --> 00:07:09,640 Boo-ya! 128 00:07:09,640 --> 00:07:12,000 Wow, Ken! That's actually impressive. 129 00:07:12,000 --> 00:07:13,560 Yes, it is, isn't it? 130 00:07:13,560 --> 00:07:16,880 Looks like old Ken is still quite the asset. 131 00:07:16,880 --> 00:07:22,000 Oh, Ken, you know how valued you are. Oh, look, snap! 132 00:07:22,000 --> 00:07:23,280 I've been nominated too. 133 00:07:24,360 --> 00:07:25,640 What? 134 00:07:25,640 --> 00:07:26,920 Lawyer of the Year. 135 00:07:26,920 --> 00:07:28,440 We're both up for it. 136 00:07:28,440 --> 00:07:30,920 That IS great news! 137 00:07:30,920 --> 00:07:32,840 I love that news! 138 00:07:32,840 --> 00:07:35,360 All other news should be cancelled because that is... 139 00:07:35,360 --> 00:07:36,600 ..that's the best news. 140 00:07:36,600 --> 00:07:38,240 Oh! 141 00:07:38,240 --> 00:07:39,840 Three cheers for us. 142 00:07:39,840 --> 00:07:40,880 Hip hip! 143 00:07:43,400 --> 00:07:45,600 Hip hip! ALL: Hooray! 144 00:07:48,880 --> 00:07:51,800 So your first job was as a cult member. Mm-hm. 145 00:07:51,800 --> 00:07:54,200 Then you spent six months working for... 146 00:07:54,200 --> 00:07:55,960 The Triads, right. 147 00:07:55,960 --> 00:07:58,200 They're an international criminal organisation 148 00:07:58,200 --> 00:08:00,920 specialising in drug smuggling and extortion. 149 00:08:00,920 --> 00:08:02,520 These days, I'm a child minder. 150 00:08:04,080 --> 00:08:07,800 Skills - black belt kung fu, torture technique, 151 00:08:07,800 --> 00:08:10,480 large repertoire of nursery rhymes. 152 00:08:10,480 --> 00:08:13,400 It also says here - unspecified skill. Oh, yeah. 153 00:08:13,400 --> 00:08:14,640 Right. It's this. 154 00:08:21,560 --> 00:08:23,400 I mean, do you know what that's called? 155 00:08:23,400 --> 00:08:25,200 Maybe just put shoe whirly thing. 156 00:08:25,200 --> 00:08:27,160 So what do you reckon? 157 00:08:27,160 --> 00:08:30,880 I was thinking maybe a train driver or something in high finance. 158 00:08:30,880 --> 00:08:32,520 I can put you in the system. 159 00:08:32,520 --> 00:08:37,120 But my advice would be go away and work on yourself. 160 00:08:37,120 --> 00:08:38,440 Really quite a lot. 161 00:08:42,760 --> 00:08:45,080 "..Behaviour as to avoid followership, 162 00:08:45,080 --> 00:08:46,960 "this occurs when firms develop..." 163 00:08:46,960 --> 00:08:49,880 "..All about establishing the fact of disciplines and processes..." 164 00:08:49,880 --> 00:08:52,920 "..If a business already has a genuinely differentiated offering, 165 00:08:52,920 --> 00:08:54,560 "it is wise to follow..." 166 00:08:54,560 --> 00:08:57,200 "..Behaviour as to avoid followership..." 167 00:08:57,200 --> 00:08:59,400 "..Injustice clear in business. Most..." 168 00:09:01,040 --> 00:09:02,640 What's all this? 169 00:09:02,640 --> 00:09:03,960 Such a good day! 170 00:09:03,960 --> 00:09:06,000 I started looking for a new job. Oh! 171 00:09:06,000 --> 00:09:10,080 Unfortunately, I'm not maximalised for the job market due to the fact I possess zero education. 172 00:09:10,080 --> 00:09:12,160 Problem there. No problem there, though. 173 00:09:12,160 --> 00:09:15,360 Because today I found out there are people who are wildly 174 00:09:15,360 --> 00:09:17,600 successful with no training or meaningful education. 175 00:09:17,600 --> 00:09:21,440 They call themselves Americans, and today I read all their books. 176 00:09:21,440 --> 00:09:23,760 All of these? Yeah. Dale, that's amazing! 177 00:09:23,760 --> 00:09:27,280 Yeah, I only managed two this morning, but then I read one on speed-reading, 178 00:09:27,280 --> 00:09:28,640 and then things really took off. 179 00:09:28,640 --> 00:09:31,360 Rachel, I have learnt the secrets of business. 180 00:09:31,360 --> 00:09:32,680 I learnt the rules of power. 181 00:09:32,680 --> 00:09:35,600 I learnt the power of Yes, and the rules of the power of Yes. 182 00:09:35,600 --> 00:09:40,760 And the most important thing I learnt...is I can do this! 183 00:09:40,760 --> 00:09:41,840 You can do what? 184 00:09:41,840 --> 00:09:44,880 This! Right here! Maybe I'm already doing it! 185 00:09:44,880 --> 00:09:45,920 I don't know! 186 00:09:45,920 --> 00:09:49,600 Dale! You don't need to rush into anything. 187 00:09:49,600 --> 00:09:52,280 I'm working. We've got all that nannying money saved up. 188 00:09:52,280 --> 00:09:54,280 Yeah. LORNA: Mum's home! 189 00:09:54,280 --> 00:09:55,320 KNOCK ON DOOR 190 00:09:55,320 --> 00:09:58,240 I picked up some champers so we can celebrate your dad's award. 191 00:09:58,240 --> 00:10:00,640 All right, Dale? Good day? 192 00:10:00,640 --> 00:10:03,400 My day was wonderful, Lorna. Thank you for asking. 193 00:10:03,400 --> 00:10:06,000 Right. There's something a bit different about you. 194 00:10:06,000 --> 00:10:07,120 No magic to it, Lorn! 195 00:10:07,120 --> 00:10:10,240 Just eye contact and meticulously brushed teeth. 196 00:10:10,240 --> 00:10:12,120 Rachel, that awards ceremony - 197 00:10:12,120 --> 00:10:13,480 you HAVE to get me into it. 198 00:10:13,480 --> 00:10:15,680 It's invite-only. Why do you want to go? 199 00:10:15,680 --> 00:10:16,720 Are you kidding me? 200 00:10:16,720 --> 00:10:18,960 The top business minds in all Lichfield will be there! 201 00:10:18,960 --> 00:10:22,120 It's the ideal spot for me to sell my skills. 202 00:10:22,120 --> 00:10:23,240 Hiya, Ken! 203 00:10:23,240 --> 00:10:27,280 Chief Ken! I've self-actualised as a winner and business visionary! 204 00:10:30,440 --> 00:10:31,480 DOOR SLAMS SHUT 205 00:10:35,680 --> 00:10:37,600 Ken? 206 00:10:37,600 --> 00:10:40,680 Jane's been nominated for the award too. Oh. Yeah. 207 00:10:40,680 --> 00:10:44,480 Once again, the universe takes a big shit on my face. 208 00:10:44,480 --> 00:10:49,160 So what? And who says you won't still win? 209 00:10:49,160 --> 00:10:50,400 As if! 210 00:10:50,400 --> 00:10:51,440 Jane's a shoo-in. 211 00:10:51,440 --> 00:10:53,400 She brings all the big business to the firm. 212 00:10:53,400 --> 00:10:57,320 If I hadn't taken paternity leave, she wouldn't have even have been nominated - you mark my words. 213 00:10:57,320 --> 00:11:00,040 Ken, you're a hero to me and to women everywhere. 214 00:11:00,040 --> 00:11:02,400 Oh, yeah, they don't stop cheering! 215 00:11:02,400 --> 00:11:05,600 Oh, God, what's my life come to? 216 00:11:05,600 --> 00:11:10,960 Loads! I mean...you have three wonderful children. 217 00:11:10,960 --> 00:11:13,080 I have two children that I like. 218 00:11:13,080 --> 00:11:15,360 And a best buddy that loves you. Oh, God! 219 00:11:15,360 --> 00:11:18,440 Steve! The cavalry has arrived. 220 00:11:18,440 --> 00:11:20,360 Ken's being a right old cranky pants. 221 00:11:20,360 --> 00:11:21,480 Leave it to me, Lorna. 222 00:11:25,560 --> 00:11:28,320 Black dog on your back, eh, Ken? 223 00:11:28,320 --> 00:11:29,840 Can't blame you. 224 00:11:29,840 --> 00:11:32,880 I mean, look at you - worthless schmoo. 225 00:11:33,920 --> 00:11:38,240 Dick Dunderhead who worked his life away for the Man and didn't even get a clock in return. 226 00:11:38,240 --> 00:11:39,600 Is this supposed to be a pep talk? 227 00:11:39,600 --> 00:11:41,800 I'm knocking you down, Ken, to build you back up again 228 00:11:41,800 --> 00:11:45,000 because here's how we rebuild your mojo. 229 00:11:47,240 --> 00:11:48,720 Little venture I'm starting. 230 00:11:48,720 --> 00:11:52,320 Three words - directed weaponised cocktailology. 231 00:11:52,320 --> 00:11:53,520 You're opening a bar? 232 00:11:53,520 --> 00:11:55,200 It's more than a bar, you fool! 233 00:11:55,200 --> 00:11:57,560 It's a high-class cocktail lounge for yuppies and babes. 234 00:11:57,560 --> 00:11:59,920 And the name? Oh, this is going to be bad! 235 00:11:59,920 --> 00:12:01,840 All Steve's Pals. 236 00:12:01,840 --> 00:12:03,600 Wow! Worse than I expected. 237 00:12:03,600 --> 00:12:07,400 So I combine my passion for strong drink and my medical know-how. 238 00:12:07,400 --> 00:12:08,440 Et voila! 239 00:12:08,440 --> 00:12:13,920 Bespoke cocktails laced with Steve Chance's own brand of legal high! 240 00:12:13,920 --> 00:12:15,600 I'll play the boogie-woogie piano. 241 00:12:15,600 --> 00:12:16,760 I'll have to learn. 242 00:12:18,240 --> 00:12:21,760 Fuck! I just need a few thousand. 243 00:12:21,760 --> 00:12:23,560 Interested? No! 244 00:12:23,560 --> 00:12:25,280 Not interested. 245 00:12:25,280 --> 00:12:28,680 Lichfield's sexy elite do not want to buy their liquor 246 00:12:28,680 --> 00:12:30,600 from an insane puffin. 247 00:12:30,600 --> 00:12:32,120 Your loss, not mine. 248 00:12:36,200 --> 00:12:37,240 Fuck you, Ken! 249 00:12:40,800 --> 00:12:42,960 So, what do you think, Nina? 250 00:12:42,960 --> 00:12:47,680 Um, sorry, you're asking if I can fix the Lawyer of the Year award 251 00:12:47,680 --> 00:12:49,800 so that Ken wins? Not fix. 252 00:12:49,800 --> 00:12:51,680 God, no - not fix! OK. 253 00:12:51,680 --> 00:12:53,840 Only you asked if I could make sure that Ken wins. 254 00:12:53,840 --> 00:12:55,720 Sounds like fixing. 255 00:12:55,720 --> 00:12:57,440 It's just a silly award. 256 00:12:57,440 --> 00:13:00,480 The judges argued over it for days. 257 00:13:00,480 --> 00:13:02,880 There was a secret ballot. 258 00:13:02,880 --> 00:13:05,560 So no-one knows who won, do they? 259 00:13:05,560 --> 00:13:08,280 I mean, it might as well be Ken as anyone else, 260 00:13:08,280 --> 00:13:11,120 and you're always saying what a friend he is to you. 261 00:13:11,120 --> 00:13:13,200 Yes, you're right. 262 00:13:13,200 --> 00:13:15,240 We're best friends. 263 00:13:15,240 --> 00:13:20,200 Nina, Ken's having a nightmare time at work at the moment. 264 00:13:20,200 --> 00:13:23,160 Nightmare! This might be just the fillip he needs. 265 00:13:23,160 --> 00:13:24,280 Ken needs a boost? 266 00:13:25,680 --> 00:13:26,840 Oh, why not? 267 00:13:28,200 --> 00:13:30,760 I'm loving this little female conspiracy. 268 00:13:31,840 --> 00:13:36,440 Fear not, Lorna - Ken will not go home empty-handed. 269 00:13:42,760 --> 00:13:46,200 Ha! Ooh! Handsome! Thank you, love. 270 00:13:46,200 --> 00:13:48,480 I like to look nice before I'm ritually humiliated. 271 00:13:48,480 --> 00:13:50,360 Oh, come on, glum boots! 272 00:13:50,360 --> 00:13:52,720 Who knows? You might still win. 273 00:13:52,720 --> 00:13:53,760 Right. 274 00:13:53,760 --> 00:13:55,800 Where's Dale? He ran out earlier. 275 00:13:55,800 --> 00:13:58,440 Are you going to be all right with Sid? Yeah, piece of piss. 276 00:13:58,440 --> 00:14:00,120 I'm letting him play on Faceswipe. 277 00:14:00,120 --> 00:14:01,480 Kid's got good instincts. 278 00:14:02,640 --> 00:14:03,720 PHONE BEEPS 279 00:14:03,720 --> 00:14:06,200 Oh! Uber's here. 280 00:14:06,200 --> 00:14:08,960 Forward to public disgrace! 281 00:14:08,960 --> 00:14:11,280 Bye, loves! See ya. 282 00:14:11,280 --> 00:14:14,480 No! Sid, don't swipe right for her! 283 00:14:14,480 --> 00:14:17,200 Ah, fair enough, she'll probably do stuff. 284 00:14:17,200 --> 00:14:18,240 High five. 285 00:14:19,440 --> 00:14:20,680 Yeah! Good man! 286 00:14:26,640 --> 00:14:29,840 Welcome, Messieurs, sit yourselves down. 287 00:14:29,840 --> 00:14:32,640 Steve? What, you're an Uber driver now? 288 00:14:32,640 --> 00:14:35,680 I always drove a taxi at night, Ken, even when I was a doctor. 289 00:14:39,680 --> 00:14:41,120 Sparkling water in the seat well. 290 00:14:41,120 --> 00:14:44,600 Travel stove and eggs if you want to fix yourselves an omelette. 291 00:14:44,600 --> 00:14:46,480 I think we're eating at the do, Steve. 292 00:14:47,680 --> 00:14:51,040 Traditional Japanese Gyoku music. 293 00:14:52,120 --> 00:14:55,560 So, Lorna, got a tasty business proposition for you. 294 00:14:55,560 --> 00:14:59,800 Lichfield's premier cocktail bar - All Steve's Pals. 295 00:14:59,800 --> 00:15:01,920 On one side of the bar, a sauna. 296 00:15:01,920 --> 00:15:04,600 And on the other side, an ice-cream parlour. 297 00:15:04,600 --> 00:15:07,840 Cold like my thinking, hot like my loins. 298 00:15:07,840 --> 00:15:10,160 Yeah, this concept's changed quite a lot. 299 00:15:10,160 --> 00:15:12,360 Ideas evolve, Ken. 300 00:15:12,360 --> 00:15:13,480 So what do you say, Lorna? 301 00:15:13,480 --> 00:15:16,960 I'm talking drinks that will take your head off and girls which will blow your mind. 302 00:15:16,960 --> 00:15:19,240 Sorry, Steve. I'm out. 303 00:15:19,240 --> 00:15:23,520 No star Uber rating for you, my friends. 304 00:15:23,520 --> 00:15:24,880 HE TURNS MUSIC UP 305 00:15:24,880 --> 00:15:30,440 HE SINGS QUIETLY 306 00:15:35,280 --> 00:15:38,800 Mm! Mm! Rachel, top-up time! 307 00:15:38,800 --> 00:15:41,360 Do you know what? All this talking really looks like fun, 308 00:15:41,360 --> 00:15:43,480 but it's very hard work. 309 00:15:43,480 --> 00:15:46,760 Single-handedly keeping the whole event ticking over - that's hard work too. 310 00:15:46,760 --> 00:15:51,240 Oh, babes, one day, you will be the boss and you will really miss 311 00:15:51,240 --> 00:15:52,960 all this stress and admin. 312 00:15:52,960 --> 00:15:57,880 OK, back to the coal face! Cos I am Network Nina! 313 00:16:01,120 --> 00:16:05,000 Golly! Nina could use some pointers on ground-level, integrational leadership. 314 00:16:05,000 --> 00:16:09,160 Dale! You absolute nutter! What are you doing here? 315 00:16:09,160 --> 00:16:11,040 When you said there was no way into this party, 316 00:16:11,040 --> 00:16:13,640 I recalled a book I read called Don't Take No for An Answer. 317 00:16:13,640 --> 00:16:15,040 You know what it's about? 318 00:16:15,040 --> 00:16:17,200 Some kind of sci-fi saga? No. 319 00:16:17,200 --> 00:16:20,280 It's about not taking no for an answer. So here I am! 320 00:16:20,280 --> 00:16:23,280 Look at this place - what a networking opportunity! 321 00:16:23,280 --> 00:16:26,240 Just as soon as I hit my stretch break and I'm allowed to move. 322 00:16:26,240 --> 00:16:27,720 Newbie! No talking! 323 00:16:27,720 --> 00:16:29,960 So sorry, my bad! Bye, Rach. 324 00:16:35,600 --> 00:16:36,640 HE CLEARS THROAT 325 00:16:36,640 --> 00:16:37,680 HE TAPS GLASS 326 00:16:37,680 --> 00:16:39,720 A toast to our nominees. 327 00:16:41,280 --> 00:16:45,360 Jane, you've been an inspiration these last few months. 328 00:16:45,360 --> 00:16:49,920 Your leadership has helped us see that a better world 329 00:16:49,920 --> 00:16:51,360 is within reach of us all. 330 00:16:52,360 --> 00:16:54,160 To Jane! 331 00:16:54,160 --> 00:16:55,440 ALL: To Jane! 332 00:16:55,440 --> 00:16:57,560 Thank you. And also to Ken. 333 00:16:57,560 --> 00:16:58,720 Oh, thank you, Noel. 334 00:16:58,720 --> 00:17:02,080 Now Jane can enjoy the rest of the ceremony with a perfectly clean rectum. 335 00:17:02,080 --> 00:17:04,560 Whoever wins, it will be a triumph for the firm. 336 00:17:04,560 --> 00:17:05,600 TAPPING ON MIC 337 00:17:05,600 --> 00:17:10,880 Woo-hoo! Hello, everybody! Welcome! Well, what a night! 338 00:17:10,880 --> 00:17:14,440 I am having an absolute ball. 339 00:17:14,440 --> 00:17:17,600 Let's hear it for the human statues. 340 00:17:23,000 --> 00:17:26,360 Now, let's break it down. 341 00:17:26,360 --> 00:17:32,040 Tonight is the night that Lichfield honours its heroes 342 00:17:32,040 --> 00:17:33,600 with awards like 343 00:17:33,600 --> 00:17:37,320 Best Chartered Surveyor, 344 00:17:37,320 --> 00:17:42,720 Foremost In-House Compliance Consultant 345 00:17:42,720 --> 00:17:48,760 and, of course, the biggie - Lawyer of the Year! 346 00:17:50,680 --> 00:17:52,360 Go, Jane! Go, Jane! 347 00:17:54,000 --> 00:17:57,600 But before all of that, let's take a short break. 348 00:18:00,840 --> 00:18:02,120 Oi, newbie! It's your break. 349 00:18:02,120 --> 00:18:04,320 You've got 15 minutes. 350 00:18:04,320 --> 00:18:06,560 A top job in 15 minutes. 351 00:18:06,560 --> 00:18:07,720 You've got this, Dale! 352 00:18:10,120 --> 00:18:12,520 Hi, everyone, my name's Dale. 353 00:18:12,520 --> 00:18:14,520 Here's a business card. Nice to meet you, sir. 354 00:18:14,520 --> 00:18:16,760 He's suddenly so keen to get a job. 355 00:18:16,760 --> 00:18:18,040 Where's he got that idea from? 356 00:18:18,040 --> 00:18:19,280 Nowhere. 357 00:18:19,280 --> 00:18:20,320 Perfect! 358 00:18:20,320 --> 00:18:22,480 I mean, it probably just popped into his head. 359 00:18:22,480 --> 00:18:23,720 Anyway, it's good for Dale. 360 00:18:23,720 --> 00:18:26,000 Maybe something in high finance. 361 00:18:26,000 --> 00:18:27,760 It's important to have a career. 362 00:18:27,760 --> 00:18:29,240 Is it? 363 00:18:29,240 --> 00:18:31,240 I don't know if I'm just drunk, 364 00:18:31,240 --> 00:18:33,440 but your attitude is refreshing. Thanks. 365 00:18:33,440 --> 00:18:35,400 There is your salary. 366 00:18:37,000 --> 00:18:39,640 Thank you, Ma'am. YOU will not be disappointed. 367 00:18:39,640 --> 00:18:43,000 This is the first step in a very exciting...journ... 368 00:18:47,200 --> 00:18:50,160 What happened? Did you paint yourself all over? 369 00:18:50,160 --> 00:18:53,400 Yeah, every last inch. I wanted to be thorough. 370 00:18:53,400 --> 00:18:56,080 His skin's asphyxiating! Dickhead's gone and done a Goldfinger! 371 00:18:56,080 --> 00:18:57,480 No, no, no, I'm OK. 372 00:18:57,480 --> 00:18:59,680 I've got this. I'm fine. I'm fine. I'm fine. 373 00:19:00,720 --> 00:19:01,760 Oh, no! 374 00:19:01,760 --> 00:19:05,080 His skin needs to breathe! I need to take his trousers off now! 375 00:19:05,080 --> 00:19:07,640 Oh, God! This might hurt, soldier. 376 00:19:07,640 --> 00:19:09,160 DALE SCREAMS 377 00:19:10,400 --> 00:19:12,360 Relax, guys, the worst is over. 378 00:19:12,360 --> 00:19:14,640 I'll drive him to the hospital. 379 00:19:14,640 --> 00:19:16,720 Do you know what? We'll come with. 380 00:19:16,720 --> 00:19:18,360 I don't need to be here. 381 00:19:18,360 --> 00:19:19,440 Ken! 382 00:19:19,440 --> 00:19:20,800 The award! 383 00:19:20,800 --> 00:19:23,560 What about it? I've shown my face. 384 00:19:23,560 --> 00:19:24,800 You've won, OK? 385 00:19:24,800 --> 00:19:26,680 What? You've won. 386 00:19:26,680 --> 00:19:28,840 I might have had a word with Nina. 387 00:19:28,840 --> 00:19:31,120 I rigged it. You did what?! 388 00:19:31,120 --> 00:19:35,680 CHANTING: Ken! Ken! Ken! Ken! Ken! Ken! Ken! Ken! 389 00:19:35,680 --> 00:19:38,760 Oh, you sneaky, beautiful wonder! 390 00:19:38,760 --> 00:19:41,720 Can't believe you, Mum! Dale'll be fine! 391 00:19:41,720 --> 00:19:42,960 Go and face your public. 392 00:19:46,720 --> 00:19:48,720 And don't say anything stupid. 393 00:19:48,720 --> 00:19:51,920 CHANTING: Ken! Ken! Ken! Ken! Ken! Ken! Ken! Ken! 394 00:19:55,480 --> 00:19:58,080 Oh! Thank you! Thank you! 395 00:19:59,280 --> 00:20:02,120 Well, my wife said not to say anything stupid, 396 00:20:02,120 --> 00:20:03,480 so I'll keep it brief. 397 00:20:03,480 --> 00:20:05,360 LAUGHTER 398 00:20:05,360 --> 00:20:08,040 Folks, working at Herbert Redcliffe 399 00:20:08,040 --> 00:20:12,440 this past year has been a magical journey. 400 00:20:12,440 --> 00:20:15,880 And beside me on that magical journey - my partners, 401 00:20:15,880 --> 00:20:17,120 ladies and gentlemen. 402 00:20:18,480 --> 00:20:21,360 Some months ago, I went on paternity leave. 403 00:20:21,360 --> 00:20:24,560 I happen to be a proud feminist. 404 00:20:24,560 --> 00:20:27,280 Yes, why not? Thank you. 405 00:20:27,280 --> 00:20:31,400 And while I was looking after my child and my wife was working, 406 00:20:31,400 --> 00:20:36,200 who should be politicking behind my back but Jane, the snake? 407 00:20:37,240 --> 00:20:38,440 Yes, Jane. 408 00:20:38,440 --> 00:20:40,320 You have betrayed the sisterhood. 409 00:20:40,320 --> 00:20:46,760 You shower of shithouses, it ends here! 410 00:20:46,760 --> 00:20:52,160 You can't do without me now because I...I'm Lawyer of the Year. 411 00:20:52,160 --> 00:20:57,160 That's right. I, Ken Thompson, am the Lawyer of the Year! 412 00:20:57,160 --> 00:21:00,640 Read it for yourselves. I am the Tallest... 413 00:21:00,640 --> 00:21:01,680 MURMURING 414 00:21:03,120 --> 00:21:05,040 Nina, there's a little mistake there, I think, 415 00:21:05,040 --> 00:21:07,440 because I think that should just say Lawyer of the Year. 416 00:21:07,440 --> 00:21:08,520 No - Tallest. 417 00:21:08,520 --> 00:21:11,840 No, no, it's just Lawyer of the Year. 418 00:21:11,840 --> 00:21:14,240 No, it's Tallest Lawyer of the Year. 419 00:21:14,240 --> 00:21:17,560 It's an award I made up especially for you because we're such good friends 420 00:21:17,560 --> 00:21:20,640 and I know that you were feeling blue so... What? 421 00:21:20,640 --> 00:21:23,960 Oh, come! Give me a hug, you big wombat! 422 00:21:23,960 --> 00:21:25,880 BOOING 423 00:21:25,880 --> 00:21:27,600 You're very welcome. 424 00:21:27,600 --> 00:21:29,040 OK, so... 425 00:21:29,040 --> 00:21:30,960 Oh, wasn't that fun? 426 00:21:30,960 --> 00:21:36,400 And, um, the next award is the Lichfield Lawyer of the Year. 427 00:21:36,400 --> 00:21:41,320 So the winner of the Lawyer of the Year is my best friend, Jane Defreitas! 428 00:21:50,840 --> 00:21:51,880 It will blow over. 429 00:21:51,880 --> 00:21:53,400 It'll be fine. 430 00:21:53,400 --> 00:21:54,680 With these things, 431 00:21:54,680 --> 00:21:57,800 they always seem worse than they actually are, you know. 432 00:21:57,800 --> 00:21:59,880 Yeah! Totally. Yeah. Yeah. 433 00:22:03,840 --> 00:22:07,440 Welcome home! Welcome home! 434 00:22:07,440 --> 00:22:09,880 Wow! Someone's feeling better! 435 00:22:09,880 --> 00:22:12,000 The kid just needed his blood cleaning. 436 00:22:12,000 --> 00:22:15,520 Nothing Uncle Steve couldn't do with a petrol siphon and a colander. 437 00:22:15,520 --> 00:22:16,960 Yeah! 438 00:22:16,960 --> 00:22:19,240 Now, everyone has to have a drink. 439 00:22:20,160 --> 00:22:21,800 The award-winner! Shut up. 440 00:22:21,800 --> 00:22:24,080 Ooh, sad socks. Did something go wrong? 441 00:22:24,080 --> 00:22:26,880 No, I'd just like to go to bed in my house without you here. 442 00:22:26,880 --> 00:22:28,080 Well, no can do. 443 00:22:28,080 --> 00:22:30,120 Even if you don't take any pleasure in your award, 444 00:22:30,120 --> 00:22:31,560 we still have something to toast. 445 00:22:31,560 --> 00:22:35,120 Oh, yes! We still have Dale's new job to celebrate! Oh, yeah! 446 00:22:35,120 --> 00:22:38,760 Right, actually, um, update - I'm not taking that job any more. 447 00:22:38,760 --> 00:22:40,200 What? How come? 448 00:22:41,280 --> 00:22:44,840 Well, let's just say a better offer came along. 449 00:22:46,280 --> 00:22:48,520 Oh! Oh, no! 450 00:22:48,520 --> 00:22:49,680 Why do I feel scared? 451 00:22:49,680 --> 00:22:51,160 Yep! 452 00:22:51,160 --> 00:22:55,720 You are looking at the 49% owner of All Dale & Steve's Pals! 453 00:22:55,720 --> 00:22:57,120 Oh, my God. Oh, fuck! 454 00:22:57,120 --> 00:23:00,040 We had a few cocktails when I was cleaning his blood. This is Steve's. 455 00:23:00,040 --> 00:23:02,480 I pitched Dale the idea, and he loved it. Yes. 456 00:23:02,480 --> 00:23:04,280 Dale, what about your actual job? 457 00:23:04,280 --> 00:23:05,840 Oh, that job means nothing. 458 00:23:05,840 --> 00:23:08,080 I mean, 50K? What good is a K to me? 459 00:23:08,080 --> 00:23:11,320 This way, I get paid in good old British pounds! 460 00:23:11,320 --> 00:23:13,320 OK. We should probably talk about this. 461 00:23:13,320 --> 00:23:15,880 Oh, well, we're going to be talking about it a lot, my love! 462 00:23:15,880 --> 00:23:18,400 After all, it is where I invested my entire savings. 463 00:23:18,400 --> 00:23:20,200 Steve's already got the lease. 464 00:23:20,200 --> 00:23:24,120 Dale! We were supposed to be saving for a deposit, getting out of here! 465 00:23:24,120 --> 00:23:25,560 Yes, you were! 466 00:23:25,560 --> 00:23:27,480 Actually, I had the same concern at first, 467 00:23:27,480 --> 00:23:29,960 but then I talked to Steve and he said, actually, 468 00:23:29,960 --> 00:23:32,080 it's a sure and certain bet. 469 00:23:32,080 --> 00:23:34,280 So peace of mind. 470 00:23:34,280 --> 00:23:35,880 Peace of mind. 471 00:23:35,880 --> 00:23:37,640 A drink to our success! Rachel? 472 00:23:37,640 --> 00:23:38,720 Yeah, I think I need one! 473 00:23:38,720 --> 00:23:41,560 Lorna, Ken. Yep. 474 00:23:41,560 --> 00:23:43,240 To All Dale & Steve's Pals! 475 00:23:43,240 --> 00:23:44,960 It's a bit wordy. Right. 476 00:23:44,960 --> 00:23:46,960 To All... Steve's Pals? 477 00:23:46,960 --> 00:23:49,360 Steve's Pals! Yeah! 478 00:23:53,320 --> 00:23:54,920 Oh, God! Ooh! 479 00:23:56,240 --> 00:23:57,720 I think it needs another chilli. 480 00:23:57,720 --> 00:23:59,240 It's burning all the way down! 481 00:24:01,560 --> 00:24:04,200 Let the journey begin! Yeah.