1
00:00:05,400 --> 00:00:09,120
<font color="#ffffff">Would you do me the honour of</font>
<font color="#ffffff">permitting me, Dale Ashbrick,</font>

2
00:00:09,120 --> 00:00:10,560
<font color="#ffffff">to propose to your daughter?</font>

3
00:00:10,560 --> 00:00:13,680
<font color="#ffff00">Should your focus be wedding rings</font>
<font color="#ffff00">when you haven't got a job?</font>

4
00:00:13,680 --> 00:00:17,760
<font color="#ffffff">You are looking at a 49% owner</font>
<font color="#ffffff">of All Dale And Steve's Pals.</font>

5
00:00:17,760 --> 00:00:19,320
<font color="#ffffff">Steve's already got the lease.</font>

6
00:00:19,320 --> 00:00:20,480
<font color="#00ffff">Why do I feel scared?</font>

7
00:00:20,480 --> 00:00:23,520
<font color="#ffffff">Rachel said she needed more space to</font>
<font color="#ffffff">think about her path in life,</font>

8
00:00:23,520 --> 00:00:26,880
<font color="#ffffff">so I found the place in England</font>
<font color="#ffffff">with the most space there is!</font>

9
00:00:26,880 --> 00:00:28,160
<font color="#00ffff">I needed time to think,</font>

10
00:00:28,160 --> 00:00:31,440
<font color="#00ffff">not some kind of non-consensual</font>
<font color="#00ffff">Duke of Edinburgh.</font>

11
00:00:31,440 --> 00:00:32,960
<font color="#ffff00">A job's come up - a real one.</font>

12
00:00:32,960 --> 00:00:34,320
<font color="#00ffff">Where is it?</font>

13
00:00:34,320 --> 00:00:37,440
<font color="#ffff00">Erm, it's in</font>
<font color="#ffff00">Sierra Nevada...or Leone.</font>

14
00:00:37,440 --> 00:00:38,600
<font color="#ffff00">The African one.</font>

15
00:00:49,360 --> 00:00:50,640
<font color="#00ffff">Oh, wow.</font>

16
00:00:52,640 --> 00:00:56,520
<font color="#00ffff">Like, genuine question,</font>
<font color="#00ffff">you built this? Just you and Steve?</font>

17
00:00:56,520 --> 00:00:58,000
<font color="#ffffff">Well, it was mainly me.</font>

18
00:00:58,000 --> 00:00:59,640
<font color="#ffffff">Steve preferred to supervise.</font>

19
00:00:59,640 --> 00:01:01,680
<font color="#ffffff">He made me work</font>
<font color="#ffffff">with my top off a lot.</font>

20
00:01:01,680 --> 00:01:03,120
<font color="#ffffff">Sometimes my pants too.</font>

21
00:01:03,120 --> 00:01:04,960
<font color="#ffffff">All right.</font>

22
00:01:04,960 --> 00:01:07,240
<font color="#ffffff">DOOR OPENS</font>
<font color="#00ff00">Ah...</font>

23
00:01:07,240 --> 00:01:08,520
<font color="#00ff00">Wow.</font>

24
00:01:08,520 --> 00:01:10,640
<font color="#00ff00">I actually meant</font>
<font color="#00ff00">shove a coat of magnolia on it.</font>

25
00:01:10,640 --> 00:01:12,040
<font color="#ffffff">Oh, I'm sorry. I can wash it off.</font>

26
00:01:12,040 --> 00:01:14,800
<font color="#00ff00">No, no, no, no. No, leave it.</font>

27
00:01:14,800 --> 00:01:15,960
<font color="#00ff00">It's beautiful.</font>

28
00:01:17,080 --> 00:01:18,320
<font color="#00ff00">It's All Steve's Pals.</font>

29
00:01:18,320 --> 00:01:20,120
<font color="#00ff00">I mean, look at this place, huh?</font>

30
00:01:20,120 --> 00:01:21,920
<font color="#00ff00">And they said we'd never make it</font>
<font color="#00ff00">happen.</font>

31
00:01:21,920 --> 00:01:24,120
<font color="#ffffff">Who did? </font><font color="#00ff00">Ken, Lorna, Connie,</font>

32
00:01:24,120 --> 00:01:25,840
<font color="#00ff00">the postman, my kids,</font>

33
00:01:25,840 --> 00:01:28,280
<font color="#00ff00">BBC West Midlands,</font>
<font color="#00ff00">your girlfriend...</font>

34
00:01:28,280 --> 00:01:30,440
<font color="#00ffff">Yeah, to be fair, I did say that.</font>

35
00:01:30,440 --> 00:01:32,520
<font color="#00ff00">Still, we showed them.</font>

36
00:01:32,520 --> 00:01:36,160
<font color="#00ff00">But the question is, Dale,</font>
<font color="#00ff00">are you ready?</font>

37
00:01:36,160 --> 00:01:37,720
<font color="#ffffff">I think so.</font>

38
00:02:00,680 --> 00:02:02,480
<font color="#ffffff">RACHEL GIGGLES</font>

39
00:02:06,040 --> 00:02:07,080
<font color="#ffffff">How was that?</font>

40
00:02:09,560 --> 00:02:10,920
<font color="#ffffff">BOTH: </font><font color="#ffff00">Fucking hell.</font>

41
00:02:21,480 --> 00:02:23,880
<font color="#00ff00">Hiya, love. Busy day?</font>

42
00:02:23,880 --> 00:02:25,040
<font color="#00ffff">Ha! Yeah, right.</font>

43
00:02:25,040 --> 00:02:27,640
<font color="#ffff00">Just plotting my return</font>
<font color="#ffff00">to Herbert Radcliffe Solicitors</font>

44
00:02:27,640 --> 00:02:28,960
<font color="#ffff00">as chief partner.</font>

45
00:02:28,960 --> 00:02:31,800
<font color="#00ff00">Don't you think it's time that you</font>
<font color="#00ff00">started looking for another job?</font>

46
00:02:31,800 --> 00:02:33,080
<font color="#00ffff">Nah, Dad'll be fine, Mum.</font>

47
00:02:33,080 --> 00:02:35,040
<font color="#00ffff">I mean,</font>
<font color="#00ffff">a vacancy for a giant dickhead</font>

48
00:02:35,040 --> 00:02:36,760
<font color="#00ffff">is bound to come up somewhere soon.</font>

49
00:02:36,760 --> 00:02:40,440
<font color="#ffff00">I don't need to look for a new job</font>
<font color="#ffff00">because I'm getting my old one back.</font>

50
00:02:40,440 --> 00:02:43,320
<font color="#00ff00">Oh, yeah?</font>
<font color="#00ff00">How are you planning to do that?</font>

51
00:02:43,320 --> 00:02:45,440
<font color="#ffffff">I </font><font color="#00ffff">know how you can get</font>
<font color="#00ffff">your old job back.</font>

52
00:02:45,440 --> 00:02:47,280
<font color="#ffff00">Oh, right. Come on, then.</font>

53
00:02:47,280 --> 00:02:48,440
<font color="#ffff00">What's the big idea?</font>

54
00:02:48,440 --> 00:02:51,560
<font color="#00ffff">Well, you take the other partners</font>
<font color="#00ffff">for a nice, friendly curry,</font>

55
00:02:51,560 --> 00:02:52,920
<font color="#00ffff">except for that Jane one.</font>

56
00:02:52,920 --> 00:02:55,280
<font color="#00ffff">With her, you want to say</font>
<font color="#00ffff">you're doing a charity skydive,</font>

57
00:02:55,280 --> 00:02:58,240
<font color="#00ffff">and then, when you're up there, rip</font>
<font color="#00ffff">the safety cord from her parachute,</font>

58
00:02:58,240 --> 00:03:01,400
<font color="#00ffff">strangle her with it,</font>
<font color="#00ffff">and then shove her out of the plane.</font>

59
00:03:01,400 --> 00:03:05,040
<font color="#00ffff">And say something really cool like,</font>
<font color="#00ffff">"See you around."</font>

60
00:03:06,360 --> 00:03:08,760
<font color="#ffff00">That might actually work! </font><font color="#00ff00">Ken!</font>

61
00:03:08,760 --> 00:03:11,720
<font color="#ffff00">The curry bit, obviously -</font>
<font color="#ffff00">not the horrifying murder.</font>

62
00:03:11,720 --> 00:03:13,200
<font color="#ffff00">Although, if I was going to do that,</font>

63
00:03:13,200 --> 00:03:15,320
<font color="#ffff00">I'd say something cooler than,</font>
<font color="#ffff00">"See you around."</font>

64
00:03:15,320 --> 00:03:17,480
<font color="#00ff00">"Is it a bird? Is it a Jane?"</font>

65
00:03:17,480 --> 00:03:18,960
<font color="#ffff00">Yeah.</font>

66
00:03:18,960 --> 00:03:20,600
<font color="#ffff00">"Auf Wieders-Jane."</font>

67
00:03:20,600 --> 00:03:22,080
<font color="#00ff00">Yeah, or, erm...</font>

68
00:03:22,080 --> 00:03:23,600
<font color="#ffff00">We could have, erm...</font>

69
00:03:23,600 --> 00:03:25,400
<font color="#00ff00">Erm... </font><font color="#ffff00">Oh...</font>

70
00:03:25,400 --> 00:03:27,360
<font color="#00ffff">Yeah,</font>
<font color="#00ffff">murder her or don't murder her,</font>

71
00:03:27,360 --> 00:03:28,880
<font color="#00ffff">cos I really don't give a shit.</font>

72
00:03:30,120 --> 00:03:32,000
<font color="#00ff00">I'm starting to worry about Dylan.</font>

73
00:03:32,000 --> 00:03:33,960
<font color="#ffff00">Yeah? What was the turning point?</font>

74
00:03:33,960 --> 00:03:35,680
<font color="#ffff00">When he shat</font>
<font color="#ffff00">in his girlfriend's bath</font>

75
00:03:35,680 --> 00:03:37,520
<font color="#ffff00">or, two years later,</font>
<font color="#ffff00">when he shagged her mum?</font>

76
00:03:37,520 --> 00:03:38,960
<font color="#00ff00">Good point.</font>

77
00:03:38,960 --> 00:03:40,360
<font color="#ffff00">Anyway, this plan...</font>

78
00:03:42,960 --> 00:03:45,800
<font color="#ffff00">Me and all the partners,</font>
<font color="#ffff00">out for a curry tomorrow night.</font>

79
00:03:45,800 --> 00:03:48,320
<font color="#ffff00">No Jane there</font>
<font color="#ffff00">to poison them against me.</font>

80
00:03:48,320 --> 00:03:50,200
<font color="#ffff00">Classic divide and conquer.</font>

81
00:03:50,200 --> 00:03:54,000
<font color="#ffff00">Jane - the hopeless Turks...</font>
<font color="#ffff00">Me - Genghis Khan,</font>

82
00:03:54,000 --> 00:03:57,520
<font color="#ffff00">literally currying favour</font>
<font color="#ffff00">with her employees.</font>

83
00:03:57,520 --> 00:03:59,400
<font color="#ffffff">PHONE KEYPAD BEEPS</font>

84
00:03:59,400 --> 00:04:02,200
<font color="#ffff00">It means I'll miss</font>
<font color="#ffff00">Dale's opening night, but...</font>

85
00:04:03,640 --> 00:04:07,520
<font color="#ffff00">Hello, I'd like to book a table</font>
<font color="#ffff00">for six tomorrow night, please.</font>

86
00:04:07,520 --> 00:04:09,320
<font color="#ffff00">The name?</font>

87
00:04:09,320 --> 00:04:10,760
<font color="#ffffff">IN DEEP VOICE: </font><font color="#ffff00">Genghis Ken.</font>

88
00:04:10,760 --> 00:04:12,600
<font color="#ffffff">SHE LAUGHS</font>

89
00:04:12,600 --> 00:04:14,160
<font color="#ffff00">No, just Ken is fine.</font>

90
00:04:14,160 --> 00:04:15,920
<font color="#ffffff">SHE LAUGHS</font>
<font color="#00ff00">Oh, God...</font>

91
00:04:24,880 --> 00:04:26,680
<font color="#ffffff">Not tonight, my love.</font>

92
00:04:40,080 --> 00:04:42,880
<font color="#ffffff">PHONE CHIMES</font>
<font color="#ffffff">Goodnight, Chief Ken.</font>
<font color="#ffffff">Goodnight, Lorna.</font>

93
00:04:44,680 --> 00:04:46,960
<font color="#ffffff">Night, Dylan.</font>
<font color="#ffffff">DYLAN: </font><font color="#00ff00">Jesus, you bell-end!</font>

94
00:04:46,960 --> 00:04:49,000
<font color="#ffffff">Oh, my bad, sorry!</font>
<font color="#ffffff">DALE LAUGHS</font>

95
00:04:49,000 --> 00:04:51,560
<font color="#ffffff">Wow, Dylan sure does love</font>
<font color="#ffffff">to masturbate.</font>

96
00:04:51,560 --> 00:04:52,600
<font color="#00ffff">Yeah.</font>

97
00:04:54,040 --> 00:04:55,280
<font color="#ffffff">HE EXHALES</font>

98
00:04:55,280 --> 00:04:57,520
<font color="#ffffff">Wow. I don't know how I'm going</font>
<font color="#ffffff">to be able to get to sleep.</font>

99
00:04:57,520 --> 00:04:59,560
<font color="#ffffff">I'm so excited for the launch.</font>

100
00:05:01,600 --> 00:05:03,040
<font color="#00ffff">Dale... </font><font color="#ffffff">Mm-hmm?</font>

101
00:05:03,040 --> 00:05:05,520
<font color="#00ffff">If I was to ask you to do something</font>
<font color="#00ffff">that was bad for you,</font>

102
00:05:05,520 --> 00:05:10,240
<font color="#00ffff">like, I don't know, eat raw pork,</font>
<font color="#00ffff">would you do it?</font>

103
00:05:10,240 --> 00:05:11,640
<font color="#ffffff">I'd say, "Hand me the sausage."</font>

104
00:05:11,640 --> 00:05:13,760
<font color="#ffffff">You know I'd do anything for you,</font>
<font color="#ffffff">Rach.</font>

105
00:05:13,760 --> 00:05:15,120
<font color="#00ffff">Yeah, I do.</font>

106
00:05:17,840 --> 00:05:18,880
<font color="#00ffff">Goodnight.</font>

107
00:05:22,400 --> 00:05:25,280
<font color="#ffffff">SIGHING</font>

108
00:05:25,280 --> 00:05:27,280
<font color="#ffffff">So, when do you want me to do it?</font>

109
00:05:29,960 --> 00:05:32,320
<font color="#ffffff">Cos I'm going to be pretty busy</font>
<font color="#ffffff">tomorrow with the launch,</font>

110
00:05:32,320 --> 00:05:34,880
<font color="#ffffff">but I might be able to pop back</font>
<font color="#ffffff">a few sausages in the morning.</font>

111
00:05:34,880 --> 00:05:36,400
<font color="#00ffff">It was hypothetical.</font>

112
00:05:36,400 --> 00:05:37,800
<font color="#ffffff">That's a relief. </font><font color="#00ffff">Yeah.</font>

113
00:05:44,080 --> 00:05:45,960
<font color="#ffffff">And hypothetical means...?</font>

114
00:05:48,000 --> 00:05:49,600
<font color="#00ffff">You don't have to eat the sausage.</font>

115
00:05:49,600 --> 00:05:52,080
<font color="#ffffff">Oh! OK. Awesome.</font>

116
00:05:59,520 --> 00:06:00,600
<font color="#ffffff">Night, Rach.</font>

117
00:06:10,600 --> 00:06:13,360
<font color="#00ffff">It's only for six months,</font>
<font color="#00ffff">so I'll be back before you know it.</font>

118
00:06:13,360 --> 00:06:15,000
<font color="#00ff00">Sierra Leone?</font>

119
00:06:15,000 --> 00:06:18,400
<font color="#00ff00">Wow. Oh, it's a beautiful</font>
<font color="#00ff00">part of...Asia?</font>

120
00:06:18,400 --> 00:06:21,000
<font color="#00ffff">It's Africa. </font><font color="#00ff00">Yes, I knew that. </font><font color="#00ffff">Yeah.</font>

121
00:06:21,000 --> 00:06:24,160
<font color="#00ff00">Anyway, you two are going to have</font>
<font color="#00ff00">a great time over there.</font>

122
00:06:25,600 --> 00:06:27,320
<font color="#00ffff">I don't think I should bring Dale.</font>

123
00:06:28,840 --> 00:06:30,880
<font color="#00ff00">Oh, Jesus. It's a biggie.</font>

124
00:06:30,880 --> 00:06:33,480
<font color="#00ff00">Is this because he stranded you</font>
<font color="#00ff00">on the Pennines?</font>

125
00:06:33,480 --> 00:06:35,440
<font color="#00ff00">You can't stay angry at him forever.</font>

126
00:06:35,440 --> 00:06:37,440
<font color="#00ffff">I'm not angry.</font>

127
00:06:37,440 --> 00:06:39,200
<font color="#00ffff">Dale's happy here.</font>

128
00:06:39,200 --> 00:06:40,720
<font color="#00ffff">He's put his life into his bar,</font>

129
00:06:40,720 --> 00:06:42,400
<font color="#00ffff">and if I ask him to come,</font>
<font color="#00ffff">he'll come.</font>

130
00:06:42,400 --> 00:06:43,640
<font color="#00ff00">And don't you want him to come?</font>

131
00:06:43,640 --> 00:06:46,000
<font color="#00ffff">No, I want him to come</font>
<font color="#00ffff">but, deep down,</font>

132
00:06:46,000 --> 00:06:48,280
<font color="#00ffff">even if he says he wants to come,</font>
<font color="#00ffff">I know he wants to stay,</font>

133
00:06:48,280 --> 00:06:50,760
<font color="#00ffff">and I have to go.</font>

134
00:06:50,760 --> 00:06:52,720
<font color="#00ff00">I'm all over the shop here, Rach.</font>

135
00:06:52,720 --> 00:06:54,120
<font color="#00ff00">What is it you're trying to say?</font>

136
00:06:54,120 --> 00:06:57,800
<font color="#00ffff">Dale would do anything for me,</font>
<font color="#00ffff">and this wouldn't be fair.</font>

137
00:06:57,800 --> 00:07:00,920
<font color="#00ffff">If I ask him to come, he'll say yes.</font>

138
00:07:00,920 --> 00:07:03,600
<font color="#00ffff">He's like a big lovely...</font>

139
00:07:03,600 --> 00:07:05,080
<font color="#00ffff">..Labrador.</font>

140
00:07:05,080 --> 00:07:07,880
<font color="#00ff00">He even catches Frisbees</font>
<font color="#00ff00">in his mouth.</font>

141
00:07:13,840 --> 00:07:15,240
<font color="#00ff00">Yeah, that's hard.</font>

142
00:07:18,400 --> 00:07:21,000
<font color="#ffffff">Oh, that's terrible. She's crazy.</font>

143
00:07:21,000 --> 00:07:22,240
<font color="#00ffff">I know.</font>

144
00:07:22,240 --> 00:07:23,400
<font color="#ffff00">Hey, guys!</font>

145
00:07:23,400 --> 00:07:25,840
<font color="#ffffff">Oh, hi, Ken. What are you doing</font>
<font color="#ffffff">here? Aren't you...?</font>

146
00:07:25,840 --> 00:07:27,360
<font color="#ffff00">What, just because I've been fired</font>

147
00:07:27,360 --> 00:07:29,560
<font color="#ffff00">means I can't come into my own</font>
<font color="#ffff00">workplace any more?</font>

148
00:07:29,560 --> 00:07:31,360
<font color="#00ffff">Erm... Yeah?</font>

149
00:07:32,360 --> 00:07:35,080
<font color="#ffff00">I actually swung by to see</font>
<font color="#ffff00">if you guys fancied going out</font>

150
00:07:35,080 --> 00:07:37,360
<font color="#ffff00">for a big old curry tonight.</font>

151
00:07:37,360 --> 00:07:40,440
<font color="#ffff00">My treat.</font>
<font color="#ffff00">You can have a rice and a naan.</font>

152
00:07:40,440 --> 00:07:41,560
<font color="#ffff00">Unlimited chutney.</font>

153
00:07:41,560 --> 00:07:44,280
<font color="#ffff00">I mean, up to a point, obviously,</font>
<font color="#ffff00">don't take the piss, but...</font>

154
00:07:44,280 --> 00:07:47,440
<font color="#ffffff">Yeah, all right. Sounds good, yeah.</font>
<font color="#ffff00">Great.</font>

155
00:07:47,440 --> 00:07:51,040
<font color="#ffff00">And, hey, probably best</font>
<font color="#ffff00">if we don't invite Jane, eh?</font>

156
00:07:51,040 --> 00:07:54,080
<font color="#ffff00">Might be a little bit more fun</font>
<font color="#ffff00">if it's just us lads.</font>

157
00:07:54,080 --> 00:07:56,200
<font color="#ffffff">Sure, yeah,</font>
<font color="#ffffff">probably better without her anyway.</font>

158
00:07:56,200 --> 00:07:57,880
<font color="#ffffff">The fun sponge.</font>

159
00:07:57,880 --> 00:08:00,720
<font color="#ffff00">Oh, dear. Are things not going great</font>
<font color="#ffff00">with Jane?</font>

160
00:08:00,720 --> 00:08:02,000
<font color="#ffffff">She's cracking the whip, mate.</font>

161
00:08:02,000 --> 00:08:04,800
<font color="#ffffff">She doesn't even let us watch The</font>
<font color="#ffffff">Good Wife in the office any more.</font>

162
00:08:04,800 --> 00:08:07,640
<font color="#00ffff">We're all out of sync.</font>
<font color="#00ffff">Noel doesn't even know Will dies.</font>

163
00:08:07,640 --> 00:08:10,160
<font color="#ffffff">What?! </font><font color="#ffff00">That is a shame.</font>

164
00:08:10,160 --> 00:08:12,120
<font color="#ffff00">An office needs fun, guys.</font>

165
00:08:12,120 --> 00:08:14,680
<font color="#ffff00">But then, that is Jane, isn't it?</font>

166
00:08:14,680 --> 00:08:19,040
<font color="#ffff00">Cruel, harsh, dour, joyless,</font>

167
00:08:19,040 --> 00:08:21,720
<font color="#ffff00">really kills the mood</font>
<font color="#ffff00">in any room, doesn't she?</font>

168
00:08:21,720 --> 00:08:23,280
<font color="#ffff00">Yeah, like a fart in a lift.</font>

169
00:08:26,080 --> 00:08:28,960
<font color="#ffff00">But the Germans will keep</font>
<font color="#ffff00">re-electing her, won't they?</font>

170
00:08:28,960 --> 00:08:31,120
<font color="#ffff00">You've got to hand it to the woman.</font>
<font color="#ffff00">She's...</font>

171
00:08:31,120 --> 00:08:32,440
<font color="#ffff00">Hello, Jane.</font>

172
00:08:32,440 --> 00:08:33,640
<font color="#ffffff">Ken, what are you doing here?</font>

173
00:08:33,640 --> 00:08:36,480
<font color="#ffffff">I thought you'd be at home watching</font>
<font color="#ffffff">daytime telly and payday loan ads?</font>

174
00:08:36,480 --> 00:08:38,440
<font color="#00ffff">Ken's taking us for a curry tonight.</font>

175
00:08:39,880 --> 00:08:43,160
<font color="#ffffff">Great. I'll stick it in the diary.</font>

176
00:08:43,160 --> 00:08:44,600
<font color="#ffff00">Glad you can make it.</font>

177
00:08:44,600 --> 00:08:46,600
<font color="#ffffff">I know what you're doing, Ken.</font>
<font color="#ffff00">Excuse me?</font>

178
00:08:46,600 --> 00:08:49,240
<font color="#ffffff">If you think you can buy</font>
<font color="#ffffff">your job back with a chicken korma,</font>

179
00:08:49,240 --> 00:08:52,000
<font color="#ffffff">then you're even more ridiculous</font>
<font color="#ffffff">than you look.</font>

180
00:08:52,000 --> 00:08:53,120
<font color="#ffffff">See you tonight.</font>

181
00:08:57,240 --> 00:08:59,440
<font color="#ffff00">Of course you would order a korma.</font>

182
00:09:06,440 --> 00:09:09,560
<font color="#00ff00">Hey, Dale! </font><font color="#ffffff">Hey, Steve!</font>
<font color="#ffffff">What's in the box?</font>

183
00:09:09,560 --> 00:09:12,560
<font color="#00ff00">Our high-class, beach-side tiki bar</font>
<font color="#00ff00">dress code.</font>

184
00:09:12,560 --> 00:09:16,520
<font color="#00ff00">Bikinis, budgie smugglers...</font>
<font color="#00ff00">Perfect for that beach-side vibe.</font>

185
00:09:16,520 --> 00:09:20,520
<font color="#00ff00">All free - lost property</font>
<font color="#00ff00">from the local leisure centre.</font>

186
00:09:20,520 --> 00:09:22,160
<font color="#ffffff">Ha! That's genius.</font>

187
00:09:22,160 --> 00:09:23,920
<font color="#00ff00">Yeah.</font>

188
00:09:23,920 --> 00:09:27,320
<font color="#ffffff">Oh, man, I can't believe</font>
<font color="#ffffff">we're finally ready.</font>

189
00:09:27,320 --> 00:09:29,320
<font color="#00ff00">Ah, we're more than ready.</font>

190
00:09:35,360 --> 00:09:39,480
<font color="#00ff00">Box of swimwear and the cheapest</font>
<font color="#00ff00">strippers in the Midlands booked.</font>

191
00:09:39,480 --> 00:09:41,360
<font color="#00ff00">Boom! </font><font color="#ffffff">Boom.</font>

192
00:09:41,360 --> 00:09:43,480
<font color="#ffffff">I just wish Chief Ken was</font>
<font color="#ffffff">going to be here to see it.</font>

193
00:09:43,480 --> 00:09:45,240
<font color="#ffffff">Also, it's still no</font>
<font color="#ffffff">to the strippers.</font>

194
00:09:45,240 --> 00:09:48,640
<font color="#00ff00">What? Ken isn't coming?</font>
<font color="#00ff00">Is it something I said? Ah...</font>

195
00:09:48,640 --> 00:09:50,840
<font color="#00ff00">I wasn't there enough for him.</font>
<font color="#00ff00">That's it, isn't it?</font>

196
00:09:50,840 --> 00:09:52,360
<font color="#ffffff">No, he's just made plans.</font>

197
00:09:52,360 --> 00:09:54,840
<font color="#00ff00">OK, I took my eye off the ball.</font>

198
00:09:54,840 --> 00:09:56,240
<font color="#00ff00">Connie was back.</font>

199
00:09:56,240 --> 00:09:58,640
<font color="#00ff00">We had a trial un-separation -</font>

200
00:09:58,640 --> 00:10:00,000
<font color="#00ff00">13 days in a Travelodge,</font>

201
00:10:00,000 --> 00:10:02,280
<font color="#00ff00">round-the-clock lovemaking</font>
<font color="#00ff00">and rolling news.</font>

202
00:10:02,280 --> 00:10:03,560
<font color="#00ff00">Tell Ken I can change.</font>

203
00:10:03,560 --> 00:10:05,360
<font color="#ffffff">Right, but it's not you. </font><font color="#00ff00">Huh?</font>

204
00:10:05,360 --> 00:10:07,920
<font color="#ffffff">He's just organized a curry for</font>
<font color="#ffffff">a bunch of people at his office.</font>

205
00:10:07,920 --> 00:10:09,200
<font color="#00ff00">Curry? </font><font color="#ffffff">Yeah.</font>

206
00:10:09,200 --> 00:10:10,960
<font color="#00ff00">Oh, sorry.</font>

207
00:10:10,960 --> 00:10:13,360
<font color="#ffffff">He needs to get his job back.</font>
<font color="#ffffff">I get it.</font>

208
00:10:14,760 --> 00:10:17,680
<font color="#ffffff">I just really wish he was going to</font>
<font color="#ffffff">be here so I could propose to Rachel</font>

209
00:10:17,680 --> 00:10:20,360
<font color="#ffffff">and he could see that I'm worthy</font>
<font color="#ffffff">of marrying his daughter.</font>

210
00:10:20,360 --> 00:10:21,720
<font color="#00ff00">You're marriage material.</font>

211
00:10:21,720 --> 00:10:23,280
<font color="#00ff00">I'd marry you in a shot.</font>

212
00:10:24,440 --> 00:10:25,680
<font color="#00ff00">Just say the word.</font>

213
00:10:26,920 --> 00:10:28,600
<font color="#00ff00">No.</font>

214
00:10:28,600 --> 00:10:30,000
<font color="#00ff00">Unless...</font>

215
00:10:30,000 --> 00:10:32,400
<font color="#00ff00">No. You're right.</font>
<font color="#00ff00">It would never work.</font>

216
00:10:32,400 --> 00:10:34,480
<font color="#ffffff">HE SIGHS</font>

217
00:10:34,480 --> 00:10:36,520
<font color="#00ff00">Hey, don't worry about Ken.</font>

218
00:10:36,520 --> 00:10:37,760
<font color="#00ff00">I'll sort it out.</font>

219
00:10:39,480 --> 00:10:41,000
<font color="#00ffff">Nina, it's Rachel. I'm...</font>

220
00:10:41,000 --> 00:10:42,080
<font color="#ffffff">Rachel, hi.</font>

221
00:10:42,080 --> 00:10:45,720
<font color="#00ffff">The Sierra Leone vacancy -</font>
<font color="#00ffff">that's still open, right?</font>

222
00:10:45,720 --> 00:10:49,440
<font color="#ffffff">God, yeah. I cannot begin to tell</font>
<font color="#ffffff">you how fucked it is over there.</font>

223
00:10:49,440 --> 00:10:51,800
<font color="#ffffff">Like, really fucked.</font>

224
00:10:51,800 --> 00:10:53,360
<font color="#00ffff">I'd like to take it. </font><font color="#ffffff">Fab.</font>

225
00:10:53,360 --> 00:10:55,920
<font color="#ffffff">Can you get to the embassy</font>
<font color="#ffffff">in London tomorrow morning for 9.00?</font>

226
00:10:55,920 --> 00:10:57,920
<font color="#ffffff">Only, otherwise I'll have to find</font>
<font color="#ffffff">someone else.</font>

227
00:10:57,920 --> 00:11:00,960
<font color="#00ffff">Tomorrow?</font>
<font color="#ffffff">It would mean going tonight.</font>

228
00:11:00,960 --> 00:11:03,080
<font color="#00ffff">Yeah. Yeah, I can.</font>

229
00:11:03,080 --> 00:11:07,680
<font color="#ffffff">Good because, and again I cannot</font>
<font color="#ffffff">stress this enough, they are fucked.</font>

230
00:11:07,680 --> 00:11:09,480
<font color="#00ffff">Bye. </font><font color="#ffffff">Yeah. Bye.</font>

231
00:11:19,520 --> 00:11:23,920
<font color="#ffffff">TO THE TUNE OF "THE PINA COLADA</font>
<font color="#ffffff">SONG": </font><font color="#00ff00"># If you like tikka masala</font>

232
00:11:23,920 --> 00:11:25,880
<font color="#00ff00"># Being a twat to your friends</font>

233
00:11:29,080 --> 00:11:31,720
<font color="#00ff00"># Garlic naan at midnight</font>

234
00:11:31,720 --> 00:11:34,800
<font color="#00ff00"># La da di, la da di... #</font>

235
00:11:38,800 --> 00:11:40,560
<font color="#00ff00">There's no keyhole.</font>

236
00:11:40,560 --> 00:11:42,320
<font color="#00ff00">Oh, for fuck's sake...</font>

237
00:11:56,480 --> 00:11:58,000
<font color="#ffffff">HE SIGHS</font>

238
00:11:58,000 --> 00:12:00,960
<font color="#ffffff">TYRE HISSES</font>
<font color="#00ff00">Done and done.</font>

239
00:12:02,720 --> 00:12:03,760
<font color="#00ff00">Evening!</font>

240
00:12:05,160 --> 00:12:07,440
<font color="#ffff00">I could smell it, Lorn.</font>

241
00:12:07,440 --> 00:12:09,840
<font color="#ffff00">They hate Jane</font>
<font color="#ffff00">and they want big Ken back.</font>

242
00:12:09,840 --> 00:12:11,800
<font color="#ffff00">It's going to be</font>
<font color="#ffff00">mutiny on the bhaji.</font>

243
00:12:11,800 --> 00:12:13,440
<font color="#ffffff">KEN CHUCKLES</font>

244
00:12:13,440 --> 00:12:15,560
<font color="#ffff00">Come on, that was good.</font>

245
00:12:15,560 --> 00:12:16,960
<font color="#00ff00">You shouldn't have to do this.</font>

246
00:12:16,960 --> 00:12:18,760
<font color="#00ff00">You're better than them.</font>

247
00:12:18,760 --> 00:12:22,280
<font color="#00ff00">Where's that big sexy tree of a man</font>
<font color="#00ff00">who wanted to change the world</font>

248
00:12:22,280 --> 00:12:24,080
<font color="#00ff00">through affordable tax</font>
<font color="#00ff00">and property law?</font>

249
00:12:24,080 --> 00:12:25,680
<font color="#ffffff">HE SIGHS</font>

250
00:12:25,680 --> 00:12:27,080
<font color="#ffff00">He's tired, Lorn.</font>

251
00:12:27,080 --> 00:12:28,120
<font color="#ffff00">So tired.</font>

252
00:12:28,120 --> 00:12:31,080
<font color="#00ff00">Come on, you don't need them.</font>

253
00:12:31,080 --> 00:12:34,200
<font color="#00ff00">You could work for yourself -</font>
<font color="#00ff00">maybe even start your own firm.</font>

254
00:12:34,200 --> 00:12:38,880
<font color="#ffff00">What?! I can't just go around</font>
<font color="#ffff00">setting up a new Lichfield law firm.</font>

255
00:12:38,880 --> 00:12:41,160
<font color="#ffff00">Are you out of your mind?!</font>
<font color="#00ff00">I thought it'd be quite easy.</font>

256
00:12:41,160 --> 00:12:43,120
<font color="#00ff00">Don't you just register it</font>
<font color="#00ff00">at Companies House?</font>

257
00:12:43,120 --> 00:12:44,680
<font color="#ffff00">No, you do not, Lorna!</font>

258
00:12:44,680 --> 00:12:47,600
<font color="#ffff00">There are forms to be signed -</font>
<font color="#ffff00">signed in triplicate!</font>

259
00:12:49,880 --> 00:12:52,000
<font color="#00ff00">Ah, well. I tried.</font>

260
00:12:54,800 --> 00:12:57,240
<font color="#ffffff">SIGHING</font>

261
00:12:57,240 --> 00:12:58,280
<font color="#00ffff">Where is he?</font>

262
00:13:04,120 --> 00:13:05,400
<font color="#00ff00">Do you lot work with Ken?</font>

263
00:13:05,400 --> 00:13:06,960
<font color="#ffffff">Yes, why?</font>

264
00:13:06,960 --> 00:13:09,040
<font color="#00ff00">There's been a change of plan -</font>

265
00:13:09,040 --> 00:13:11,560
<font color="#00ff00">he wants you all to meet him</font>
<font color="#00ff00">somewhere else.</font>

266
00:13:11,560 --> 00:13:13,240
<font color="#ffff00">Where?</font>

267
00:13:13,240 --> 00:13:16,640
<font color="#ffffff">HE EXHALES</font>
<font color="#00ff00">It's a surprise. Come on.</font>

268
00:13:16,640 --> 00:13:18,160
<font color="#ffffff">Why has he sent you?</font>

269
00:13:18,160 --> 00:13:19,520
<font color="#00ff00">I'm your Uber.</font>

270
00:13:19,520 --> 00:13:20,760
<font color="#00ff00">Chop chop!</font>

271
00:13:22,440 --> 00:13:25,000
<font color="#00ff00">Come on! Chop chop,</font>
<font color="#00ff00">or you'll miss the fun.</font>

272
00:13:25,000 --> 00:13:26,360
<font color="#00ff00">Come on, Missy.</font>

273
00:13:43,360 --> 00:13:46,120
<font color="#ffff00">Shit it!</font>

274
00:13:46,120 --> 00:13:48,360
<font color="#ffffff">HE SIGHS</font>

275
00:13:48,360 --> 00:13:49,880
<font color="#ffff00">Unbelievable.</font>

276
00:13:53,480 --> 00:13:55,320
<font color="#ffff00">Oh. Oh, thank God.</font>

277
00:13:55,320 --> 00:13:57,360
<font color="#ffffff">HE BREATHES HEAVILY</font>

278
00:13:59,360 --> 00:14:00,800
<font color="#ffff00">Poppadoms, please.</font>

279
00:14:00,800 --> 00:14:01,880
<font color="#ffff00">All the dips.</font>

280
00:14:06,480 --> 00:14:07,920
<font color="#00ffff">It's amazing, really.</font>

281
00:14:07,920 --> 00:14:10,280
<font color="#00ffff">I mean, Lichfield is</font>
<font color="#00ffff">the shittest place on earth</font>

282
00:14:10,280 --> 00:14:12,720
<font color="#00ffff">and they opened a bar</font>
<font color="#00ffff">in the shittest part of it.</font>

283
00:14:12,720 --> 00:14:13,920
<font color="#00ff00">Oh, just be nice, Dylan.</font>

284
00:14:13,920 --> 00:14:15,120
<font color="#00ff00">Dale needs our support.</font>

285
00:14:15,120 --> 00:14:17,960
<font color="#00ffff">It's like shit squared,</font>
<font color="#00ffff">and Rachel's leaving him.</font>

286
00:14:17,960 --> 00:14:19,920
<font color="#00ff00">She's not leaving him.</font>
<font color="#00ff00">It's only for six months.</font>

287
00:14:19,920 --> 00:14:22,240
<font color="#00ff00">Hey, and we're not supposed to say</font>
<font color="#00ff00">anything.</font>

288
00:14:22,240 --> 00:14:25,040
<font color="#00ff00">Rachel's going to talk to him</font>
<font color="#00ff00">after the launch.</font>

289
00:14:25,040 --> 00:14:27,880
<font color="#00ffff">The launch of the world's</font>
<font color="#00ffff">shittest...</font>

290
00:14:27,880 --> 00:14:29,840
<font color="#ffffff">LOUD MUSIC AND CHEERING</font>

291
00:14:29,840 --> 00:14:31,240
<font color="#00ffff">..bar.</font>

292
00:14:38,080 --> 00:14:42,000
<font color="#ffffff">Welcome to All Steve's Pals!</font>

293
00:14:44,080 --> 00:14:46,720
<font color="#ffffff">Hey, guys! </font><font color="#00ffff">This is so amazing!</font>

294
00:14:46,720 --> 00:14:48,920
<font color="#00ffff">I knew you could do it, bro!</font>

295
00:14:48,920 --> 00:14:51,040
<font color="#00ff00">It's really good, Dale. </font><font color="#ffffff">Thanks.</font>

296
00:14:51,040 --> 00:14:54,880
<font color="#00ffff">There is so much fanny in here.</font>
<font color="#00ffff">I don't know how you do it!</font>

297
00:14:54,880 --> 00:14:56,640
<font color="#ffffff">Neither do I!</font>
<font color="#ffffff">DALE LAUGHS</font>

298
00:14:56,640 --> 00:14:59,160
<font color="#ffffff">MUSIC: Don't You (Forget About Me)</font>
<font color="#ffffff">by Simple Minds</font>

299
00:14:59,160 --> 00:15:00,640
<font color="#ffffff">Where's Rachel?</font>

300
00:15:00,640 --> 00:15:02,280
<font color="#00ff00">She's not coming.</font>

301
00:15:02,280 --> 00:15:03,360
<font color="#ffffff">Why?</font>

302
00:15:03,360 --> 00:15:05,080
<font color="#00ff00">Well, I can't tell you why, Dale.</font>

303
00:15:07,240 --> 00:15:10,000
<font color="#00ff00">Oh, OK, fine,</font>
<font color="#00ff00">but you didn't hear it from me.</font>

304
00:15:10,000 --> 00:15:11,040
<font color="#ffffff">OK.</font>

305
00:15:11,040 --> 00:15:13,240
<font color="#00ff00">She's packing her bags</font>
<font color="#00ff00">and leaving tomorrow morning -</font>

306
00:15:13,240 --> 00:15:15,080
<font color="#00ff00">she's going to Sierra Leone.</font>

307
00:15:15,080 --> 00:15:16,360
<font color="#ffffff">She's leaving?</font>

308
00:15:16,360 --> 00:15:17,840
<font color="#00ff00">She didn't want to tell you tonight,</font>

309
00:15:17,840 --> 00:15:20,000
<font color="#00ff00">because she didn't want to ruin</font>
<font color="#00ff00">your launch.</font>

310
00:15:20,000 --> 00:15:22,240
<font color="#ffffff">Well, smart move. It totally has.</font>

311
00:15:22,240 --> 00:15:24,200
<font color="#ffffff">She's so perceptive.</font>

312
00:15:24,200 --> 00:15:27,400
<font color="#ffffff">But, wait, Rachel has to be here.</font>

313
00:15:27,400 --> 00:15:30,560
<font color="#ffffff">I mean, all of this is</font>
<font color="#ffffff">to show her how committed I am.</font>

314
00:15:30,560 --> 00:15:32,840
<font color="#ffffff">I'm only doing this for Rachel.</font>
<font color="#00ff00">Are you?!</font>

315
00:15:32,840 --> 00:15:34,040
<font color="#ffffff">Yes!</font>

316
00:15:34,040 --> 00:15:37,080
<font color="#00ff00">Well, then, in that case,</font>
<font color="#00ff00">you have to tell her, now!</font>

317
00:15:37,080 --> 00:15:40,040
<font color="#ffffff">HE EXHALES</font>
<font color="#00ff00">Go get her, Dale.</font>

318
00:15:40,040 --> 00:15:41,080
<font color="#00ff00">Go get her.</font>

319
00:15:41,080 --> 00:15:42,120
<font color="#ffffff">I will!</font>

320
00:15:44,760 --> 00:15:46,680
<font color="#ffffff">Thanks, Lorna.</font>

321
00:15:46,680 --> 00:15:48,640
<font color="#00ff00">Welcome to All Steve's Pals.</font>

322
00:15:48,640 --> 00:15:50,480
<font color="#ffffff"># Don't you forget about me... #</font>

323
00:15:50,480 --> 00:15:53,400
<font color="#00ff00">Help yourselves to swimwear</font>
<font color="#00ff00">from the box.</font>

324
00:15:53,400 --> 00:15:54,520
<font color="#00ff00">Line them up!</font>

325
00:15:54,520 --> 00:15:57,440
<font color="#ffffff"># Don't, don't, don't, don't</font>

326
00:15:57,440 --> 00:16:01,800
<font color="#ffffff"># Don't you forget about me... #</font>

327
00:16:02,880 --> 00:16:04,920
<font color="#ffffff">BELL JINGLES</font>

328
00:16:08,080 --> 00:16:10,120
<font color="#ffffff">PHONE RINGS</font>

329
00:16:12,160 --> 00:16:14,440
<font color="#00ff00">Ken, you have to get down</font>
<font color="#00ff00">to All Steve's Pals now.</font>

330
00:16:14,440 --> 00:16:15,480
<font color="#00ff00">The partners are...</font>

331
00:16:15,480 --> 00:16:18,000
<font color="#ffff00">Lorn, I can't talk now. The partners</font>
<font color="#ffff00">will be here any minute.</font>

332
00:16:18,000 --> 00:16:21,720
<font color="#00ff00">That's what I'm trying to tell you.</font>
<font color="#00ff00">The partners are here.</font>

333
00:16:21,720 --> 00:16:24,120
<font color="#ffff00">What?!</font>

334
00:16:24,120 --> 00:16:26,160
<font color="#00ff00">Ken...</font>
<font color="#ffffff">KEN GRUNTS</font>

335
00:16:37,280 --> 00:16:38,440
<font color="#ffff00">Excuse me!</font>

336
00:16:38,440 --> 00:16:40,160
<font color="#ffffff"># One, two, three, four... #</font>

337
00:16:56,600 --> 00:16:58,360
<font color="#00ff00">Yeah! </font><font color="#ffff00">Oi!</font>

338
00:16:58,360 --> 00:17:00,280
<font color="#00ff00">Ken! You made it. What do you think?</font>

339
00:17:00,280 --> 00:17:02,160
<font color="#ffff00">What do I think?!</font>

340
00:17:02,160 --> 00:17:04,440
<font color="#ffffff">GLASS SMASHES</font>
<font color="#00ffff">Oi! </font><font color="#ffff00">I think I'm going to kill you,</font>

341
00:17:04,440 --> 00:17:05,840
<font color="#ffff00">and not as in a figure of speech.</font>

342
00:17:05,840 --> 00:17:07,040
<font color="#ffff00">Like, actually kill you!</font>

343
00:17:07,040 --> 00:17:09,440
<font color="#ffff00">One of the most important nights</font>
<font color="#ffff00">of my professional life,</font>

344
00:17:09,440 --> 00:17:12,040
<font color="#ffff00">and you have kidnapped</font>
<font color="#ffff00">my colleagues.</font>

345
00:17:12,040 --> 00:17:13,440
<font color="#00ff00">Kidnapped is a strong word...</font>

346
00:17:13,440 --> 00:17:16,000
<font color="#ffff00">You've kidnapped them and</font>
<font color="#ffff00">you've brought them to this...</font>

347
00:17:17,760 --> 00:17:19,080
<font color="#ffff00">..quite nice bar.</font>

348
00:17:19,080 --> 00:17:21,680
<font color="#00ff00">Ken, take a deep breath</font>
<font color="#00ff00">and drink this.</font>

349
00:17:23,840 --> 00:17:26,760
<font color="#00ff00">Yeah, your colleagues are here.</font>
<font color="#00ff00">Look, they're having a great time.</font>

350
00:17:26,760 --> 00:17:29,160
<font color="#00ff00">Look, Sandeep's got his tie</font>
<font color="#00ff00">on his head,</font>

351
00:17:29,160 --> 00:17:32,320
<font color="#00ff00">Adrian's vaping, and I'm pretty sure</font>
<font color="#00ff00">Noel has done a pill.</font>

352
00:17:32,320 --> 00:17:34,320
<font color="#00ff00">They've had free drinks all night,</font>

353
00:17:34,320 --> 00:17:36,440
<font color="#00ff00">and I told them</font>
<font color="#00ff00">they were courtesy of you.</font>

354
00:17:36,440 --> 00:17:38,800
<font color="#00ffff">Ken! Great night!</font>

355
00:17:38,800 --> 00:17:41,200
<font color="#00ffff">I can't believe</font>
<font color="#00ffff">you arranged all of this! </font><font color="#ffff00">Well...</font>

356
00:17:41,200 --> 00:17:42,520
<font color="#ffffff">We miss you, big guy.</font>

357
00:17:42,520 --> 00:17:44,320
<font color="#ffffff">Come back to the firm!</font>

358
00:17:44,320 --> 00:17:48,000
<font color="#00ffff">This might be the cocktails talking,</font>
<font color="#00ffff">but we need you back, Ken.</font>

359
00:17:48,000 --> 00:17:50,520
<font color="#ffffff">HE SOBS</font>
<font color="#00ffff">We need you back.</font>

360
00:17:50,520 --> 00:17:54,120
<font color="#ffffff">I haven't had an erection</font>
<font color="#ffffff">in three years, Ken.</font>

361
00:17:54,120 --> 00:17:56,080
<font color="#ffffff">God, I love this song!</font>

362
00:17:56,080 --> 00:17:59,360
<font color="#ffffff">MUSIC: Blue Monday</font>
<font color="#ffffff">by New Order</font>

363
00:17:59,360 --> 00:18:01,040
<font color="#00ff00">Come here, big guy.</font>

364
00:18:07,000 --> 00:18:10,040
<font color="#ffffff">MUSIC: Midland Girls</font>
<font color="#ffffff">by Sugarcane</font>

365
00:18:22,560 --> 00:18:26,480
<font color="#ffffff"># Midland girl's gone to the south</font>

366
00:18:32,880 --> 00:18:36,880
<font color="#ffffff"># She's painted up her eyes</font>
<font color="#ffffff">and her mouth</font>

367
00:18:43,400 --> 00:18:46,720
<font color="#ffffff"># Oh, there she goes again... #</font>

368
00:18:46,720 --> 00:18:49,520
<font color="#ffffff">DALE: Rachel!</font>

369
00:18:49,520 --> 00:18:52,480
<font color="#ffffff">HE PANTS</font>
<font color="#ffffff">Please don't go.</font>

370
00:18:52,480 --> 00:18:54,400
<font color="#ffffff">Oh. You found it?</font>

371
00:18:54,400 --> 00:18:55,840
<font color="#00ffff">Is this...? </font><font color="#ffffff">Yep.</font>

372
00:18:57,520 --> 00:18:59,520
<font color="#ffffff">Rachel Thompson, will you...?</font>

373
00:18:59,520 --> 00:19:01,800
<font color="#00ffff">Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.</font>

374
00:19:01,800 --> 00:19:04,360
<font color="#ffffff">OK. Just FYI, I was going to say,</font>
<font color="#ffffff">"..marry me?"</font>

375
00:19:04,360 --> 00:19:07,520
<font color="#00ffff">Yeah, I know you were.</font>
<font color="#00ffff">Dale, I am not ready for marriage.</font>

376
00:19:07,520 --> 00:19:08,840
<font color="#00ffff">We are not ready.</font>

377
00:19:08,840 --> 00:19:12,000
<font color="#ffffff">OK, but that doesn't mean</font>
<font color="#ffffff">you have to leave.</font>

378
00:19:12,000 --> 00:19:14,040
<font color="#00ffff">I have to.</font>

379
00:19:14,040 --> 00:19:15,720
<font color="#00ffff">I want you to be happy.</font>

380
00:19:15,720 --> 00:19:19,560
<font color="#00ffff">You've put everything</font>
<font color="#00ffff">into your life here, the bar...</font>

381
00:19:19,560 --> 00:19:22,920
<font color="#ffffff">The bar?</font>
<font color="#ffffff">I was only doing that for you.</font>

382
00:19:22,920 --> 00:19:25,000
<font color="#00ffff">Why would I want a beach bar</font>
<font color="#00ffff">in Lichfield?</font>

383
00:19:25,000 --> 00:19:26,160
<font color="#ffffff">Ken said.</font>

384
00:19:26,160 --> 00:19:28,680
<font color="#ffffff">He told me I should show you</font>
<font color="#ffffff">that I can be a provider</font>

385
00:19:28,680 --> 00:19:30,200
<font color="#ffffff">and take care of you.</font>

386
00:19:30,200 --> 00:19:33,640
<font color="#00ffff">That's...that's terrible advice!</font>

387
00:19:33,640 --> 00:19:36,680
<font color="#ffffff">Yeah, I'm starting to see that now.</font>

388
00:19:36,680 --> 00:19:40,760
<font color="#ffffff">Rachel, my only dream</font>
<font color="#ffffff">is being with you,</font>

389
00:19:40,760 --> 00:19:44,000
<font color="#ffffff">and if that means moving</font>
<font color="#ffffff">to Sierra Leone, then great.</font>

390
00:19:44,000 --> 00:19:47,120
<font color="#00ffff">Really? </font><font color="#ffffff">Yes, really.</font>

391
00:19:47,120 --> 00:19:49,560
<font color="#ffffff">I'm coming with you, Rach,</font>

392
00:19:49,560 --> 00:19:50,720
<font color="#ffffff">if you want me to.</font>

393
00:19:52,320 --> 00:19:53,720
<font color="#00ffff">Yeah. </font><font color="#ffffff">Yeah?</font>

394
00:19:53,720 --> 00:19:55,800
<font color="#00ffff">Yeah! </font><font color="#ffffff">OK!</font>

395
00:19:55,800 --> 00:19:57,720
<font color="#ffffff">Let me pack.</font>

396
00:19:57,720 --> 00:19:59,200
<font color="#ffffff">Done!</font>

397
00:20:04,440 --> 00:20:07,400
<font color="#00ffff">Come on, let's get a cocktail.</font>
<font color="#00ffff">I can pack later.</font>

398
00:20:07,400 --> 00:20:09,400
<font color="#00ffff">There's a new bar</font>
<font color="#00ffff">I want to check out.</font>

399
00:20:09,400 --> 00:20:12,080
<font color="#00ffff">Apparently some hot American barman</font>
<font color="#00ffff">works there.</font>

400
00:20:12,080 --> 00:20:14,440
<font color="#ffffff">Yeah, probably not a good idea</font>
<font color="#ffffff">for me to visit</font>

401
00:20:14,440 --> 00:20:16,600
<font color="#ffffff">a rival bar on opening night.</font>

402
00:20:16,600 --> 00:20:20,120
<font color="#ffffff">Oh, I got it, you're talking</font>
<font color="#ffffff">about All Steve's Pals.</font>

403
00:20:20,120 --> 00:20:22,960
<font color="#00ffff">I'm talking about All Steve's Pals.</font>
<font color="#ffffff">OK, yeah, let's go! </font><font color="#00ffff">OK.</font>

404
00:20:22,960 --> 00:20:25,680
<font color="#ffffff">THEY LAUGH</font>
<font color="#ffffff">Woohoo!</font>

405
00:20:25,680 --> 00:20:27,520
<font color="#ffff00">OK, Lorna, here we go.</font>

406
00:20:34,760 --> 00:20:36,160
<font color="#ffff00">Having a good time, Jane?</font>

407
00:20:36,160 --> 00:20:37,240
<font color="#ffffff">I'm shitfaced.</font>

408
00:20:37,240 --> 00:20:39,440
<font color="#ffff00">Yay!</font>

409
00:20:39,440 --> 00:20:45,160
<font color="#ffffff">Listen, Ken, I've seen the way</font>
<font color="#ffffff">the partners are with you -</font>

410
00:20:45,160 --> 00:20:48,000
<font color="#ffffff">it might be good</font>
<font color="#ffffff">if you were to come back.</font>

411
00:20:48,000 --> 00:20:50,480
<font color="#ffff00">What?! Are you serious?!</font>

412
00:20:50,480 --> 00:20:53,560
<font color="#ffffff">But I need to know you'll be loyal.</font>

413
00:20:53,560 --> 00:20:55,920
<font color="#ffffff">You'll have to respect my authority,</font>

414
00:20:55,920 --> 00:21:00,280
<font color="#ffffff">and I can't have you</font>
<font color="#ffffff">outside the tent pissing in.</font>

415
00:21:00,280 --> 00:21:02,120
<font color="#ffff00">I won't. I promise.</font>

416
00:21:02,120 --> 00:21:03,720
<font color="#ffff00">I promise I won't piss</font>
<font color="#ffff00">inside the tent.</font>

417
00:21:03,720 --> 00:21:05,840
<font color="#ffff00">I'll piss miles away from the tent.</font>

418
00:21:05,840 --> 00:21:07,160
<font color="#ffff00">You won't even notice my piss.</font>

419
00:21:07,160 --> 00:21:08,480
<font color="#00ff00">Stop saying piss, Ken.</font>

420
00:21:08,480 --> 00:21:10,920
<font color="#ffffff">There is one condition, though.</font>

421
00:21:10,920 --> 00:21:14,840
<font color="#ffffff">If I do let you back in,</font>
<font color="#ffffff">I'll look weak.</font>

422
00:21:14,840 --> 00:21:18,640
<font color="#ffffff">I need you to show you're loyal</font>
<font color="#ffffff">in front of the others.</font>

423
00:21:18,640 --> 00:21:20,040
<font color="#ffff00">Right.</font>

424
00:21:20,040 --> 00:21:21,560
<font color="#ffffff">Bend the knee.</font>

425
00:21:21,560 --> 00:21:22,880
<font color="#ffff00">What?</font>

426
00:21:22,880 --> 00:21:24,480
<font color="#ffff00">It's not Game Of Thrones, mate.</font>

427
00:21:24,480 --> 00:21:27,360
<font color="#ffffff">Get on your knees,</font>
<font color="#ffffff">beg for your old job back,</font>

428
00:21:27,360 --> 00:21:31,400
<font color="#ffffff">let the partners see,</font>
<font color="#ffffff">and then we all get what we want.</font>

429
00:21:36,280 --> 00:21:38,520
<font color="#00ff00">No. No, no, no, no!</font>

430
00:21:38,520 --> 00:21:40,080
<font color="#00ff00">You are not begging to this...</font>

431
00:21:41,560 --> 00:21:44,080
<font color="#00ff00">Help me, Dylan,</font>
<font color="#00ff00">you're good at horrible insults.</font>

432
00:21:44,080 --> 00:21:46,640
<font color="#00ffff">Bitch? </font><font color="#00ff00">Yeah, this bitch!</font>

433
00:21:46,640 --> 00:21:49,560
<font color="#ffff00">No, I'm so sorry about my wife.</font>
<font color="#ffff00">She appears to be hammered.</font>

434
00:21:49,560 --> 00:21:51,360
<font color="#00ff00">No, Ken. I've had enough of this...</font>

435
00:21:51,360 --> 00:21:52,440
<font color="#00ffff">Dog's dick?</font>

436
00:21:52,440 --> 00:21:54,960
<font color="#00ff00">..dog's dick treating you</font>
<font color="#00ff00">like you're not good enough.</font>

437
00:21:54,960 --> 00:21:56,760
<font color="#00ff00">Now, you listen to me.</font>

438
00:21:56,760 --> 00:21:57,920
<font color="#00ff00">My husband's a...</font>

439
00:21:57,920 --> 00:22:00,120
<font color="#00ffff">Ten foot bell-end?</font>
<font color="#00ff00">No. </font><font color="#ffff00">Do you want to...?</font>

440
00:22:00,120 --> 00:22:04,760
<font color="#00ff00">My husband's a great man,</font>
<font color="#00ff00">and he doesn't need you, Jane,</font>

441
00:22:04,760 --> 00:22:07,800
<font color="#00ff00">and he doesn't need</font>
<font color="#00ff00">your bloody twatty little firm!</font>

442
00:22:07,800 --> 00:22:09,400
<font color="#00ff00">He needs... </font><font color="#00ffff">Statins?</font>

443
00:22:09,400 --> 00:22:12,040
<font color="#00ff00">He needs to chase his dreams.</font>

444
00:22:13,440 --> 00:22:15,320
<font color="#00ff00">He's starting his own firm.</font>

445
00:22:16,720 --> 00:22:18,080
<font color="#ffff00">Am I?</font>

446
00:22:18,080 --> 00:22:19,760
<font color="#00ff00">Yes. Yes, Ken.</font>

447
00:22:21,680 --> 00:22:23,480
<font color="#ffff00">Yes.</font>

448
00:22:23,480 --> 00:22:25,640
<font color="#ffff00">Yes, I am!</font>

449
00:22:25,640 --> 00:22:28,040
<font color="#ffffff">I'm not standing for this.</font>

450
00:22:28,040 --> 00:22:29,440
<font color="#00ff00">Auf Wieders-Jane.</font>

451
00:22:29,440 --> 00:22:31,800
<font color="#00ffff">Yeah! </font><font color="#ffff00">Oi! That's MY one.</font>

452
00:22:31,800 --> 00:22:34,080
<font color="#ffff00">See you later, you Jane in the arse!</font>

453
00:22:34,080 --> 00:22:36,240
<font color="#00ffff">Yeah!</font>

454
00:22:36,240 --> 00:22:38,160
<font color="#ffff00">Yeah.</font>

455
00:22:38,160 --> 00:22:41,080
<font color="#ffff00">I am. I am starting my own firm!</font>

456
00:22:41,080 --> 00:22:44,000
<font color="#00ff00">I love you, Ken. </font><font color="#ffff00">I am!</font>

457
00:22:44,000 --> 00:22:46,600
<font color="#00ffff">Right, drinks are on the house.</font>

458
00:22:46,600 --> 00:22:48,560
<font color="#ffffff">CHEERING</font>

459
00:22:48,560 --> 00:22:53,040
<font color="#00ffff">One round of the house special</font>
<font color="#00ffff">cocktail, the Flaming Ken.</font>

460
00:22:53,040 --> 00:22:54,160
<font color="#ffffff">ALL: Ooh!</font>

461
00:22:54,160 --> 00:22:55,520
<font color="#ffff00">Flaming Ken?</font>

462
00:22:55,520 --> 00:22:58,920
<font color="#00ffff">It's tall. It's fiery.</font>
<font color="#00ffff">It's got balls.</font>

463
00:22:58,920 --> 00:23:00,200
<font color="#ffff00">Cheers, mate. </font><font color="#00ffff">Big balls.</font>

464
00:23:00,200 --> 00:23:01,840
<font color="#00ffff">Balls you can hold in your hand.</font>

465
00:23:01,840 --> 00:23:03,800
<font color="#00ffff">Balls that get the job done.</font>

466
00:23:03,800 --> 00:23:06,840
<font color="#00ffff">The best damn balls</font>
<font color="#00ffff">in the whole of Ballstown.</font>

467
00:23:06,840 --> 00:23:08,720
<font color="#ffff00">Fuck off.</font>

468
00:23:08,720 --> 00:23:10,920
<font color="#00ffff">Flame up!</font>

469
00:23:10,920 --> 00:23:12,320
<font color="#ffff00">Oh!</font>

470
00:23:12,320 --> 00:23:14,840
<font color="#ffffff">CHEERING AND APPLAUSE</font>
<font color="#00ffff">Yeah!</font>

471
00:23:14,840 --> 00:23:16,920
<font color="#ffffff">Is it a good idea to have</font>
<font color="#ffffff">so many naked flames</font>

472
00:23:16,920 --> 00:23:19,080
<font color="#ffffff">in a largely bamboo bar, Steve?</font>

473
00:23:24,720 --> 00:23:27,040
<font color="#00ffff">That really spread.</font>

474
00:23:27,040 --> 00:23:29,560
<font color="#00ff00">That fire's fucking beautiful, man.</font>

475
00:23:31,200 --> 00:23:33,120
<font color="#ffff00">Oh, thank God. Get in there quick!</font>

476
00:23:33,120 --> 00:23:36,400
<font color="#00ffff">Oh, they're not real firemen, Ken.</font>
<font color="#00ffff">They're strippers.</font>

477
00:23:36,400 --> 00:23:39,120
<font color="#00ffff">Thanks for coming anyway, guys.</font>
<font color="#00ffff">Ah! Ooh-rah!</font>

478
00:23:39,120 --> 00:23:41,480
<font color="#00ffff">They do this amazing routine</font>
<font color="#00ffff">with a hosepipe and a glove.</font>

479
00:23:41,480 --> 00:23:44,560
<font color="#ffff00">Never mind that, your bar's on fire!</font>

480
00:23:44,560 --> 00:23:49,880
<font color="#00ffff">You know, All Steve's Pals, Ken,</font>
<font color="#00ffff">it was never going to work,</font>

481
00:23:49,880 --> 00:23:53,000
<font color="#00ffff">so I decided to "accidentally"</font>
<font color="#00ffff">burn the place down.</font>

482
00:23:53,000 --> 00:23:56,000
<font color="#00ffff">The insurance pay-out on this baby</font>
<font color="#00ffff">is going to be huge.</font>

483
00:23:56,000 --> 00:23:59,160
<font color="#00ff00">But you went to so much effort</font>
<font color="#00ff00">to make the place work.</font>

484
00:23:59,160 --> 00:24:01,400
<font color="#00ffff">Deniability, Lorna, deniability.</font>

485
00:24:01,400 --> 00:24:03,640
<font color="#00ffff">I mean, what kind of nutbag</font>
<font color="#00ffff">goes to all that effort</font>

486
00:24:03,640 --> 00:24:05,280
<font color="#00ffff">just to burn the place down</font>
<font color="#00ffff">on purpose?</font>

487
00:24:05,280 --> 00:24:08,120
<font color="#ffff00">My God, you're a psychopath.</font>

488
00:24:08,120 --> 00:24:10,040
<font color="#00ffff">Oh, thank you, Ken.</font>

489
00:24:10,040 --> 00:24:11,760
<font color="#00ffff">Coming from you, that means a lot.</font>

490
00:24:11,760 --> 00:24:12,840
<font color="#ffff00">Oh...</font>

491
00:24:13,880 --> 00:24:15,000
<font color="#ffffff">What happened?</font>

492
00:24:15,000 --> 00:24:18,240
<font color="#ffff00">Ask this bloody idiot</font>
<font color="#ffff00">and his Flaming Kens!</font>

493
00:24:18,240 --> 00:24:20,360
<font color="#00ffff">I'm so sorry, Dale.</font>

494
00:24:20,360 --> 00:24:23,680
<font color="#ffffff">I'm OK. It's just weirdly sad</font>
<font color="#ffffff">seeing months of hard work</font>

495
00:24:23,680 --> 00:24:26,280
<font color="#ffffff">literally go up in flames.</font>

496
00:24:27,400 --> 00:24:28,640
<font color="#ffffff">Oh, well.</font>

497
00:24:28,640 --> 00:24:30,640
<font color="#ffffff">Got to keep smiling, right?</font>

498
00:24:30,640 --> 00:24:33,880
<font color="#ffffff">Oh, Chief Ken, me and Rach,</font>
<font color="#ffffff">we're going to Sierra Leone.</font>

499
00:24:33,880 --> 00:24:36,120
<font color="#ffff00">What? You're going to Africa? </font><font color="#00ffff">Yeah.</font>

500
00:24:36,120 --> 00:24:37,480
<font color="#ffff00">And at what point did you think,</font>

501
00:24:37,480 --> 00:24:39,560
<font color="#ffff00">"Oh, I don't know,</font>
<font color="#ffff00">I might tell my bloody dad"?!</font>

502
00:24:39,560 --> 00:24:40,600
<font color="#00ffff">It was very sudden.</font>

503
00:24:40,600 --> 00:24:42,520
<font color="#ffffff">Also, I took your advice</font>
<font color="#ffffff">and proposed,</font>

504
00:24:42,520 --> 00:24:44,720
<font color="#ffffff">but we're not getting married.</font>
<font color="#00ffff">Yeah, thanks for that, Dad.</font>

505
00:24:44,720 --> 00:24:47,520
<font color="#00ffff">Life coaching definitely isn't your</font>
<font color="#00ffff">forte. Don't quit the day job.</font>

506
00:24:47,520 --> 00:24:48,880
<font color="#00ff00">Funny you should say that, Rach.</font>

507
00:24:48,880 --> 00:24:51,080
<font color="#00ff00">He literally has just quit</font>
<font color="#00ff00">his day job!</font>

508
00:24:51,080 --> 00:24:52,160
<font color="#ffffff">What? </font><font color="#00ffff">What?</font>

509
00:24:52,160 --> 00:24:54,400
<font color="#ffff00">Right. Well,</font>
<font color="#ffff00">a) I don't know why YOU'RE laughing</font>

510
00:24:54,400 --> 00:24:57,160
<font color="#ffff00">because you were VERY active</font>
<font color="#ffff00">in that decision, and,</font>

511
00:24:57,160 --> 00:25:00,320
<font color="#ffff00">b) my actual advice was to get a job</font>
<font color="#ffff00">before you get married.</font>

512
00:25:00,320 --> 00:25:03,000
<font color="#ffff00">But instead you went into business</font>
<font color="#ffff00">with a maniac,</font>

513
00:25:03,000 --> 00:25:07,480
<font color="#ffff00">you opened a cocktail bar, and now</font>
<font color="#ffff00">your cocktail bar is on fire.</font>

514
00:25:07,480 --> 00:25:10,240
<font color="#ffffff">It's probably best that I'm not part</font>
<font color="#ffffff">of the family quite yet.</font>

515
00:25:10,240 --> 00:25:11,480
<font color="#00ffff">Dale...</font>

516
00:25:12,800 --> 00:25:14,320
<font color="#ffff00">No, you are.</font>

517
00:25:14,320 --> 00:25:18,920
<font color="#ffff00">You ARE part of the family -</font>
<font color="#ffff00">this weird, messed-up family.</font>

518
00:25:22,280 --> 00:25:24,080
<font color="#00ffff">Fucking hell.</font>

519
00:25:24,080 --> 00:25:26,800
<font color="#00ffff">You guys are still getting paid.</font>
<font color="#00ffff">Come on!</font>

520
00:25:26,800 --> 00:25:28,120
<font color="#ffff00">Oh, no.</font>

521
00:25:28,120 --> 00:25:30,840
<font color="#00ff00">Aw... Our family together.</font>

522
00:25:30,840 --> 00:25:32,600
<font color="#00ffff">Mum. Dylan?</font>

523
00:25:32,600 --> 00:25:34,880
<font color="#ffffff">COLLAPSING BUILDING CRUNCHES</font>
<font color="#ffff00">Oh.</font>

524
00:25:34,880 --> 00:25:37,040
<font color="#ffff00">Yep, everything's fine.</font>

525
00:25:37,040 --> 00:25:39,200
<font color="#00ff00">Come on, lads!</font>
<font color="#ffffff">CHEERING</font>

526
00:25:39,200 --> 00:25:41,240
<font color="#ffffff">MUSIC: Modern Love</font>
<font color="#ffffff">by David Bowie</font>

527
00:25:41,240 --> 00:25:44,040
<font color="#ffffff"># I know when to go out</font>

528
00:25:44,040 --> 00:25:46,960
<font color="#ffffff"># And when to stay in</font>

529
00:25:46,960 --> 00:25:48,360
<font color="#ffffff"># Get things done... #</font>

530
00:25:48,360 --> 00:25:52,040
<font color="#ffffff">CHEERING</font>

531
00:25:52,040 --> 00:25:54,720
<font color="#ffffff"># I catch a paper boy</font>

532
00:25:54,720 --> 00:25:57,480
<font color="#ffffff"># But things don't really change</font>

533
00:25:57,480 --> 00:26:00,080
<font color="#ffffff"># I'm standing in the wind</font>

534
00:26:00,080 --> 00:26:02,560
<font color="#ffffff"># But I never wave bye-bye</font>

535
00:26:05,760 --> 00:26:09,120
<font color="#ffffff"># But I try</font>

536
00:26:09,120 --> 00:26:10,680
<font color="#ffffff"># I try</font>

537
00:26:16,360 --> 00:26:18,800
<font color="#ffffff"># There's no sign of life</font>

538
00:26:18,800 --> 00:26:21,400
<font color="#ffffff"># It's just the power to charm</font>

539
00:26:21,400 --> 00:26:24,120
<font color="#ffffff"># I'm lying in the rain</font>

540
00:26:24,120 --> 00:26:26,440
<font color="#ffffff"># But I never wave bye-bye</font>

541
00:26:29,720 --> 00:26:31,640
<font color="#ffffff"># But I try</font>

542
00:26:33,000 --> 00:26:34,600
<font color="#ffffff"># I try</font>

543
00:26:37,640 --> 00:26:40,400
<font color="#ffffff"># Never going to fall for</font>
<font color="#00ffff">Modern love</font>

544
00:26:40,400 --> 00:26:43,080
<font color="#ffffff"># Walks beside me</font>
<font color="#00ffff">Modern love</font>

545
00:26:43,080 --> 00:26:45,640
<font color="#ffffff"># Walks on by</font>
<font color="#00ffff">Modern love</font>

546
00:26:45,640 --> 00:26:49,520
<font color="#ffffff"># Gets me to the church on time</font>

547
00:26:49,520 --> 00:26:51,000
<font color="#00ffff"># Church on time</font>

548
00:26:51,000 --> 00:26:53,520
<font color="#ffffff"># Terrifies me</font>
<font color="#00ffff">Church on time</font>

549
00:26:53,520 --> 00:26:56,120
<font color="#ffffff"># Makes me party</font>
<font color="#00ffff">Church on time</font>

550
00:26:56,120 --> 00:27:00,160
<font color="#ffffff"># Puts my trust in God and man</font>

551
00:27:00,160 --> 00:27:01,520
<font color="#00ffff"># God and man</font>

552
00:27:01,520 --> 00:27:03,960
<font color="#ffffff"># No confessions</font>
<font color="#00ffff">God and man</font>

553
00:27:03,960 --> 00:27:06,640
<font color="#ffffff"># No religion</font>
<font color="#00ffff">God and man</font>

554
00:27:06,640 --> 00:27:10,640
<font color="#ffffff"># Don't believe in modern love... #</font>