1 00:00:02,640 --> 00:00:07,400 # Who do you think You are kidding, Mr Hitler, 2 00:00:07,400 --> 00:00:11,840 # If you think we're on the run? 3 00:00:11,840 --> 00:00:16,720 # We are the boys Who will stop your little game 4 00:00:16,720 --> 00:00:21,720 # We are the boys Who will make you think again 5 00:00:21,720 --> 00:00:26,560 # Cos who do you think You are kidding, Mr Hitler, 6 00:00:26,560 --> 00:00:30,680 # If you think old England's done? 7 00:00:31,760 --> 00:00:36,120 # Mr Brown goes off to town On the 8.21 8 00:00:36,120 --> 00:00:40,960 # But he comes home each evening And he's ready with his gun 9 00:00:40,960 --> 00:00:46,160 # So, who do you think You are kidding, Mr Hitler, 10 00:00:46,160 --> 00:00:50,560 # If you think old England's done? # 11 00:00:54,240 --> 00:00:59,200 I'll bring a van to the back of your shop when it's dark. 12 00:00:59,200 --> 00:01:05,920 We'll take the meat to this mate who owns a restaurant. He'll see you all right. 13 00:01:05,920 --> 00:01:13,200 - I'm having nothing to do with your black market activities. - He owns a Chinese restaurant! 14 00:01:13,200 --> 00:01:16,320 Well, yellow market then. 15 00:01:16,320 --> 00:01:21,360 - Sgt Wilson! Why aren't the men fallen in? - I haven't told them to. 16 00:01:21,360 --> 00:01:26,400 - Would you mind telling them, now? - Yes, yes. Pay attention, you chaps. 17 00:01:26,400 --> 00:01:29,400 Would you fall in in three ranks? 18 00:01:29,400 --> 00:01:32,240 No time to lose. Come on. 19 00:01:32,240 --> 00:01:35,880 Platoon. Platoon, 'shun! 20 00:01:37,760 --> 00:01:40,520 It wasn't awfully good, was it? 21 00:01:40,520 --> 00:01:44,160 Platoon, stand at ease. 22 00:01:44,160 --> 00:01:49,760 - Could you manage to do it at the same time as the others? - Sorry, Sgt. 23 00:01:49,760 --> 00:01:57,200 - It makes the platoon look slovenly. - Sorry, Sergeant. - It couldn't be the way I give the command? - No. 24 00:01:57,200 --> 00:02:00,040 You give a lovely word of command. 25 00:02:00,040 --> 00:02:03,480 And if I may say so, a bit refined. 26 00:02:03,480 --> 00:02:10,960 The sergeants I served under used to bark it out very fiercely, them being of a savage nature. 27 00:02:10,960 --> 00:02:14,760 - You bark it out! - YOU want an Alsatian! 28 00:02:14,760 --> 00:02:21,800 - Stop all this bickering. Perhaps if I was to shout a bit louder... - Just get on with it. 29 00:02:21,800 --> 00:02:24,600 Pay attention now. Platoon, 'SHUN! 30 00:02:27,600 --> 00:02:30,200 Remarkable, don't you think, sir? 31 00:02:30,200 --> 00:02:33,000 Yes. Only one slight criticism. 32 00:02:33,000 --> 00:02:38,480 The rest of the platoon is standing to attention and Jones is at ease. 33 00:02:38,480 --> 00:02:45,040 What? Oh, yes! Jonesey, dear, could you possibly manage to get your legs together? 34 00:02:45,040 --> 00:02:52,520 Get your legs together?! You're a sergeant not a headmistress of a girls' school. Jones, 'shun! 35 00:02:55,080 --> 00:03:02,880 The only slight criticism that I have is that the rest of the squad appears to be... 36 00:03:02,880 --> 00:03:05,600 All right, all right! 37 00:03:07,560 --> 00:03:10,280 Stand to attention, the rest of you. 38 00:03:10,280 --> 00:03:18,000 - Very smart, Jones. - Thank you, sir. I've got nice kidneys for Mrs Mainwaring. - Don't talk on parade. 39 00:03:18,000 --> 00:03:22,320 Put them in the office after the inspection. 40 00:03:22,320 --> 00:03:25,240 What's in your pockets, Walker? 41 00:03:25,240 --> 00:03:31,680 - That's granulated and that's sultanas. - Check this before I inspect the troops. 42 00:03:31,680 --> 00:03:36,760 Disgraceful, Walker! Do that again and you'll have to throw it away. 43 00:03:36,760 --> 00:03:40,720 It makes no odds to me. You paid for them. 44 00:03:40,720 --> 00:03:44,880 It wasn't for me, sir, it was for Mrs Pike. 45 00:03:44,880 --> 00:03:49,920 - Godfrey! - Can I be of assistance, sir? - Look to your front. 46 00:03:49,920 --> 00:03:54,920 Don't wear your hat straight. You look like George Formby. 47 00:03:54,920 --> 00:03:59,560 I'm sorry, sir. Would you mind holding that? 48 00:03:59,560 --> 00:04:02,320 Is that better, sir? 49 00:04:02,320 --> 00:04:08,360 - What's this? - I get a twinge of gout in the damp spells, fortunately only in one foot. 50 00:04:10,040 --> 00:04:14,880 You can't come on parade looking like that. 51 00:04:14,880 --> 00:04:18,920 Stand at ease, everybody. Now, pay attention. 52 00:04:18,920 --> 00:04:23,960 This platoon is getting very lax in personal appearance and discipline. 53 00:04:23,960 --> 00:04:31,360 This is borne out by a signal from the CO. He came through yesterday and didn't receive one salute. 54 00:04:31,360 --> 00:04:37,960 - And a Lance Corporal had his hands in his pockets. - Permission to confess, sir. 55 00:04:37,960 --> 00:04:40,840 - Yes. - I was that Lance Corporal. 56 00:04:40,840 --> 00:04:47,040 - I always find you punctilious about saluting. - A touch of forgetfulness. 57 00:04:47,040 --> 00:04:53,320 - You can't forget what an officer looks like. - No, I'd forgotten my braces, sir. 58 00:04:53,320 --> 00:04:59,360 If I'd raised my hand to salute I thought the result might seem unseemly. 59 00:04:59,360 --> 00:05:05,440 I see. Well, for the next five minutes we're going to do some saluting. 60 00:05:05,440 --> 00:05:09,720 And remember, it's the longest way up - one - 61 00:05:09,720 --> 00:05:12,520 shortest way down - two. 62 00:05:12,520 --> 00:05:19,640 Pay particular attention to this. Palm to the front, index finger in line with the right eyebrow. 63 00:05:19,640 --> 00:05:22,960 - Thus. Right? - Yes, sir. - Carry on. 64 00:05:22,960 --> 00:05:25,640 Squad, hup! 65 00:05:25,640 --> 00:05:28,200 Left leg, hup! 66 00:05:28,200 --> 00:05:30,560 Squad, hup! 67 00:05:30,560 --> 00:05:35,280 - Longest way up - one - shortest way down - two. - Hup! 68 00:05:35,280 --> 00:05:40,280 - Longest way up, one. - I say! Bless you. 69 00:05:40,280 --> 00:05:47,080 That's rather taken the wind out of my sails. I came in to be cross with you. 70 00:05:47,080 --> 00:05:51,920 - Somebody's written something rude on my spare harmonium. - Really? 71 00:05:51,920 --> 00:05:59,160 - How does that concern my platoon? - It's in the tower room where your men sleep on fire-watch. - No, no. 72 00:05:59,160 --> 00:06:04,360 - My men wouldn't do a thing like that. - They have! Come and see. 73 00:06:04,360 --> 00:06:07,080 Wilson! Carry on saluting, Corporal. 74 00:06:07,080 --> 00:06:10,080 Shortest way down - two. 75 00:06:10,080 --> 00:06:13,200 - Squad, hup! - Longest way up - one. 76 00:06:13,200 --> 00:06:15,560 Shortest way down - two. 77 00:06:18,320 --> 00:06:23,720 - Hurry up, Wilson. Not in good condition, are you? - HE SPLUTTERS 78 00:06:23,720 --> 00:06:26,600 What have you got to say to that? 79 00:06:26,600 --> 00:06:33,120 Oh. Well, my men don't do that sort of thing and I'm jolly well going to prove it. 80 00:06:33,120 --> 00:06:38,160 - Wilson! - Just with you, sir. Won't be a moment. 81 00:06:38,160 --> 00:06:42,960 - My goodness me, sir, it's an awfully long way up. - Yes. 82 00:06:42,960 --> 00:06:50,400 - I want you to run down again and get Jones's section up here. - Not all the way down again? - Yes! 83 00:06:50,400 --> 00:06:57,400 - Can I go home then? - Of course not. I want you here as a witness. Dismiss the rest of the men. 84 00:06:57,400 --> 00:07:02,440 - Where's the instrument? - Pardon? - The instrument the culprit used. 85 00:07:02,440 --> 00:07:06,400 It's a wax crayon and it won't rub out. 86 00:07:06,400 --> 00:07:08,880 Try again. Squad - hup! 87 00:07:08,880 --> 00:07:13,040 - Longest way up - one... - Wait a minute. 88 00:07:13,040 --> 00:07:18,280 When you stick it up level with the eyebrows, give it a wiggle. 89 00:07:18,280 --> 00:07:21,080 Like this, see? Wiggle, wiggle. 90 00:07:21,080 --> 00:07:23,840 Squad - hup! 91 00:07:23,840 --> 00:07:26,680 Longest way up, one. Wiggle, wiggle. 92 00:07:26,680 --> 00:07:31,800 All right. Jonesey, Jonesey, that's enough of that. 93 00:07:31,800 --> 00:07:34,600 Just get your section together. 94 00:07:34,600 --> 00:07:41,480 In single file at the double to the top of the church tower. Send the rest home. 95 00:07:41,480 --> 00:07:48,640 You heard the Officer. The rest of you go home. My section, at the double, left right, left right. 96 00:07:50,640 --> 00:07:58,680 - Come along, Wilson, I want this over quickly. - I don't see the point in the platoon pounding in here. 97 00:07:58,680 --> 00:08:03,520 Look, I'm not having a slur like that hanging over my troops. 98 00:08:03,520 --> 00:08:10,560 - My men will copy those letters and you can compare the writing. - I'm here for my parish's spiritual needs 99 00:08:10,560 --> 00:08:13,680 not to play Inspector Hornleigh. 100 00:08:13,680 --> 00:08:18,720 - Where's the Sergeant? - At the bottom. He's a bit breathless. - I see. 101 00:08:18,720 --> 00:08:21,600 You men were the last on duty here. 102 00:08:21,600 --> 00:08:27,560 - Now, Corporal Jones, do you see that word? - Yes, sir. 103 00:08:27,560 --> 00:08:32,480 - Have you done that? - Do you mean recently, sir? 104 00:08:32,480 --> 00:08:35,440 Did you WRITE that? 105 00:08:35,440 --> 00:08:42,520 Mr Mainwaring, I never thought you would think I was capable of such improper conduct. 106 00:08:42,520 --> 00:08:50,080 - There's nothing personal about this, Jones, but I want you to copy those letters. - Now? - Now. 107 00:08:50,080 --> 00:08:52,920 - In front of the public? - Yes. 108 00:08:52,920 --> 00:08:57,720 - In front of the padre? - Get on with it! 109 00:09:01,360 --> 00:09:06,760 - I can't do it, sir. - It's an order. - Perhaps he'd rather do a limerick. 110 00:09:06,760 --> 00:09:12,920 - There was an old lady called Vickers Who went out without... - I told you that in confidence! 111 00:09:12,920 --> 00:09:15,840 All right! Go on, go on. 112 00:09:20,280 --> 00:09:26,520 - Ah. Well, that clears you, Jones. - I did not enjoy that, sir. - Neither did I. 113 00:09:26,520 --> 00:09:31,560 - Walker. - My mum wouldn't like that, Mr Mainwaring! - Come on, come on. 114 00:09:35,280 --> 00:09:39,720 - Shall I sign it? - I don't see any similarity, do you? 115 00:09:39,720 --> 00:09:43,600 - Don't drag ME into it. - Pike, you next. 116 00:09:45,880 --> 00:09:50,360 - What's it mean, Mr Mainwaring? - All in good time. 117 00:09:50,360 --> 00:09:53,600 - Permission to speak, sir. - Not now. 118 00:09:53,600 --> 00:09:56,320 Somebody has got to remove all this! 119 00:09:56,320 --> 00:10:00,840 - Permission to interrupt, sir. - Not at the moment, please! 120 00:10:00,840 --> 00:10:04,680 - Frazer, you're next. - I'm refusing to obey. 121 00:10:04,680 --> 00:10:07,560 - Did I hear you right? - You did, sir. 122 00:10:07,560 --> 00:10:12,160 He that toucheth pitch shall be defiled. 123 00:10:12,160 --> 00:10:19,280 - Permission to report the verger is outside, sir. - Tell him to come in. - He's outside the window. 124 00:10:19,280 --> 00:10:23,840 - He's going side to side and up and down. - Verger! 125 00:10:23,840 --> 00:10:31,000 Oh, my sainted aunt! I told him to clean the window but I didn't expect him to go to that length! 126 00:10:31,000 --> 00:10:35,920 Good heavens! He's caught on the cable of a barrage balloon. 127 00:10:35,920 --> 00:10:40,880 - Captain Mainwaring, I'm back. - Follow me down, Wilson. - My God! 128 00:10:40,880 --> 00:10:43,640 Don't panic, Mr Wilson, don't panic. 129 00:10:43,640 --> 00:10:51,440 Excuse me, Mr Yeatman, if you could manage to hang on a little longer I'll try and summon assistance. 130 00:10:51,440 --> 00:10:56,240 Oh, Mr Mainwaring, the verger has been taken from us. 131 00:10:56,240 --> 00:10:59,840 We'll soon have him under control. 132 00:10:59,840 --> 00:11:04,440 Something rather odd seems to have happened to the verger. 133 00:11:04,440 --> 00:11:09,720 - Don't panic, don't panic! - I've no intention of panicking. 134 00:11:09,720 --> 00:11:14,560 Vicar, I heard a voice from above. Very distressing for you. 135 00:11:14,560 --> 00:11:18,840 I thought an angel had visited me. Well, you would. 136 00:11:18,840 --> 00:11:24,720 And then he cried unto me, "Help! I'm caught in this ruddy string." 137 00:11:24,720 --> 00:11:27,600 Grab this cable and heave. 138 00:11:27,600 --> 00:11:31,200 - Godfrey! - Would you mind holding this? 139 00:11:31,200 --> 00:11:36,120 - Don't panic! - VERGER: Somebody better panic! This is killing me. 140 00:11:36,120 --> 00:11:40,200 Hold on, Verger. Help is at hand. Heave! 141 00:11:40,200 --> 00:11:46,680 - Hang on, it's twisted round that weathercock on the steeple. - So it is. Sgt Wilson! 142 00:11:46,680 --> 00:11:52,320 - Coming, sir. - You and Pike run up and climb up the steeple. - My God! 143 00:11:52,320 --> 00:11:57,360 We've no time for that palaver. One good heave will bring it away! 144 00:11:58,720 --> 00:12:01,480 Look out, Vicar. 145 00:12:01,480 --> 00:12:06,640 Oh, Vicar, do you think this is a judgement on us? Speak for yourself. 146 00:12:06,640 --> 00:12:09,360 I haven't done anything. 147 00:12:09,360 --> 00:12:12,200 Here he comes. Steady does it. 148 00:12:12,200 --> 00:12:18,160 Untie him, Walker. Right, hang on, the rest of you. 149 00:12:18,160 --> 00:12:20,880 You're all flushed. 150 00:12:20,880 --> 00:12:26,480 How did it happen? I saw this cable wrapped round the lamp-post. 151 00:12:26,480 --> 00:12:31,880 Don't touch things that don't concern you. You're a troublemaker! 152 00:12:31,880 --> 00:12:36,200 - Jones! - What are we going to do? - Think for a moment. 153 00:12:36,200 --> 00:12:39,840 If we all let go it might float away. 154 00:12:39,840 --> 00:12:47,200 - If this cable goes across any high tension wires it could black out a whole county. - We can't hang on! 155 00:12:47,200 --> 00:12:54,240 - Perhaps we could grab the ropes attached to the balloon itself. - Good idea. When I tell you, heave. 156 00:12:54,240 --> 00:13:02,280 - If we brought it down a bit further we could grab the things attached to the balloon itself! - Thank you(!) 157 00:13:02,280 --> 00:13:05,320 - One, two, three! - HEAVE. 158 00:13:05,320 --> 00:13:08,120 - One more. - Heave! 159 00:13:08,120 --> 00:13:10,560 Heave. 160 00:13:11,480 --> 00:13:15,440 Right. Grab a rope, Pike. Walker! 161 00:13:18,560 --> 00:13:22,760 I'm going to grab hold of one of these, I am. 162 00:13:22,760 --> 00:13:27,400 Where's Mainwaring? He's piggy in the middle. 163 00:13:27,400 --> 00:13:34,040 - Just what sort of game do you think you're playing? - One day, I'll have you suspended. 164 00:13:34,040 --> 00:13:39,360 Get that shifted. You shouldn't have been allowed to bring it here! 165 00:13:39,360 --> 00:13:44,280 This is a runaway barrage balloon and we're trying to control it. 166 00:13:44,280 --> 00:13:51,600 - Get on the phone to the RAF then, instead of hanging on here like Winnie the Pooh. - I aim to do that! 167 00:13:51,600 --> 00:13:54,920 - Hurry up then! - Come on, Wilson. 168 00:13:54,920 --> 00:14:01,000 - Vicar, lend a hand with these ropes while I get help. - Come on, Mr Yeatman. 169 00:14:01,000 --> 00:14:06,760 No, I'm not going up a second time. Lightning never strikes twice. 170 00:14:06,760 --> 00:14:09,320 It does in our family. I'm a twin! 171 00:14:09,320 --> 00:14:12,960 Hold steady and we'll phone for help. 172 00:14:12,960 --> 00:14:19,320 - Before you go, do you think I might be excused for a minute? - Don't be ridiculous. 173 00:14:19,320 --> 00:14:22,680 I'm not going to hang on here! 174 00:14:22,680 --> 00:14:25,240 Pretend you're the Statue of Liberty. 175 00:14:25,240 --> 00:14:32,360 I must ensure he phones properly. Miss Godfrey, cop hold of this. Come on, dear. 176 00:14:32,360 --> 00:14:35,440 There's not much meat on her. 177 00:14:35,440 --> 00:14:40,960 She's got big bones. Be brave. Remember Joan of Arc. 178 00:14:40,960 --> 00:14:49,280 - Wilson, double round and get as many of the platoon as you can. Hurry! - Oh, my God! - ..Hello. 179 00:14:50,600 --> 00:14:52,760 Operations. 180 00:14:52,760 --> 00:14:58,880 Captain Mainwaring, Walmington-on-Sea. We've captured one of your balloons. 181 00:14:58,880 --> 00:15:04,680 Just a moment. Anyone lost a balloon? One called Amy is adrift. 182 00:15:04,680 --> 00:15:10,840 Will you speak? Not now. Take the details and notify barrage command. 183 00:15:10,840 --> 00:15:17,360 - Very good, Sir. The address, please? - St Aldhelm's Church. - Is the balloon attached to anything? 184 00:15:17,360 --> 00:15:23,200 - Not now. It WAS wrapped round a verger. - On her way to choir practice? 185 00:15:23,200 --> 00:15:28,560 We can't have all this rubbish. The point is, is it dangerous? 186 00:15:28,560 --> 00:15:33,320 'Not unless it catches fire.' It can catch fire! 187 00:15:33,320 --> 00:15:39,360 - Don't let anyone smoke near it. Someone will be round by nightfall. - Nightfall! 188 00:15:39,360 --> 00:15:43,720 - My men can't hold on! - Tie it to something. 189 00:15:43,720 --> 00:15:46,520 - What do you suggest? - Give me that! 190 00:15:46,520 --> 00:15:50,560 They're not tying it to anything. It MUST be shifted! 191 00:15:50,560 --> 00:15:55,840 - Perhaps the ARP people could help. - Yes. Contact the ARP people. 192 00:15:58,560 --> 00:16:01,600 I AM the ARP p-people! 193 00:16:01,600 --> 00:16:06,440 Scramble Seven! We'll send help as soon as possible. 194 00:16:06,440 --> 00:16:11,400 She's rung off. You're in charge and this is your responsibility. 195 00:16:11,400 --> 00:16:16,800 - That thing must be shifted. - I'm quite capable of dealing with this! 196 00:16:20,880 --> 00:16:27,280 - I don't know if we can hang on longer. - I've got a few words to say to you. 197 00:16:27,280 --> 00:16:31,320 Surely to God he's not going to make a speech! 198 00:16:31,320 --> 00:16:36,760 - The RAF are going to help... - He is! - ..but naturally they're very busy. 199 00:16:36,760 --> 00:16:43,240 - Hitler is still poised across the Channel and no one can relax vigilance. - Oy! 200 00:16:43,240 --> 00:16:46,480 No speeches! Get that thing shifted. 201 00:16:46,480 --> 00:16:51,480 Why don't we walk this into Pinner fields and tie it to a tree? 202 00:16:51,480 --> 00:16:55,600 That's sensible! Why didn't you think of that? 203 00:16:55,600 --> 00:17:01,080 - I was about to suggest it. - Why don't I run and fetch my lorry 204 00:17:01,080 --> 00:17:08,960 and we can tie the balloon to it and that will prevent it being wafted away by an unpleasant breeze. 205 00:17:08,960 --> 00:17:17,120 I've had another idea, sir. We could walk it into Pinner Woods and tie it to a tree or something. 206 00:17:17,120 --> 00:17:24,120 - Yes. I'll take your place, you go and get the van. - Very good. I shall return at six o'clock hours. 207 00:17:26,440 --> 00:17:31,520 Vicar, if I were you, I'd cancel the confirmation class today. 208 00:17:51,720 --> 00:17:53,760 Left! 209 00:18:07,240 --> 00:18:10,240 # Amy, wonderful Amy 210 00:18:10,240 --> 00:18:15,120 # How can you blame me for loving you? 211 00:18:15,120 --> 00:18:20,360 # Since you've won the praise Of every nation... # 212 00:18:27,960 --> 00:18:32,720 Mark time. Platoon, halt! 213 00:18:32,720 --> 00:18:36,120 Excellent mooring place, men. 214 00:18:36,120 --> 00:18:38,880 Pull it down your end, men. 215 00:18:40,320 --> 00:18:43,240 I'll secure the cable. 216 00:18:50,360 --> 00:18:54,440 Let go your end, Jones! 217 00:18:54,440 --> 00:18:56,960 All clear this end, sir. 218 00:18:59,400 --> 00:19:01,440 Right. 219 00:19:01,440 --> 00:19:07,680 Raise the tree and I'll take a couple of turns round the trunk for safety. 220 00:19:07,680 --> 00:19:10,240 Right, sir. Jump to it - hup! 221 00:19:33,280 --> 00:19:37,360 Don't panic, Mr Mainwaring, don't panic! 222 00:19:37,360 --> 00:19:42,400 A fine mess you've made of this. Don't just gawp, DO something! 223 00:19:42,400 --> 00:19:47,440 - You've got a van, haven't you? Well, come on. - Into the van, come on! 224 00:19:48,480 --> 00:19:51,440 The van don't fly. 225 00:19:54,040 --> 00:19:57,320 Quick, Jonesey, follow that balloon. 226 00:20:08,240 --> 00:20:11,160 Ruddy hooligans! 227 00:20:26,480 --> 00:20:30,360 H-HELP! 228 00:20:30,360 --> 00:20:33,000 Useless thing. 229 00:20:35,240 --> 00:20:38,520 Oy! Oy! Wait for me. 230 00:20:39,880 --> 00:20:44,720 Here, you, get off that. I'm commandeering it. Come on, off! 231 00:20:50,280 --> 00:20:53,880 - Can you see it, Mr Wilson? - It's rising. 232 00:20:53,880 --> 00:20:58,760 It'll rise when he hits hot air. He's never been short of that! 233 00:20:58,760 --> 00:21:02,960 Unidentified object in C sector, sir. 234 00:21:02,960 --> 00:21:09,480 Where did THAT come from? Perhaps it came at wave level. Scramble seven squadron. 235 00:21:13,760 --> 00:21:16,880 Help! Get me down. 236 00:21:16,880 --> 00:21:20,360 Ooooh! 237 00:21:20,360 --> 00:21:24,400 - The wind's dropping. - Mr Mainwaring! 238 00:21:24,400 --> 00:21:28,720 Too late! 239 00:21:34,160 --> 00:21:40,680 - He's above the cabin. I can't see him. - Use the observation drill. - Come on, Taffy. 240 00:21:40,680 --> 00:21:44,840 Ready, two, three. Open, two, three. Up, two, three. 241 00:21:44,840 --> 00:21:47,880 Get me down! 242 00:21:49,200 --> 00:21:51,640 Blimey! 243 00:21:51,640 --> 00:21:56,440 You'd better turn around, Jonesey, the wind's changing. 244 00:21:58,280 --> 00:22:01,000 Here, where are you going? 245 00:22:06,320 --> 00:22:11,360 This is ridiculous. We cannae go back and forward all our lives. 246 00:22:11,360 --> 00:22:16,680 Mr Wilson, we must shoot holes in it to evacuate its gases. 247 00:22:16,680 --> 00:22:21,680 - Do you think that's wise, Jonesey? - Blimey, we've got to do something! 248 00:22:21,680 --> 00:22:28,800 - All right, but do aim carefully. - Surely even your lot couldn't miss a barrage balloon?! 249 00:22:30,960 --> 00:22:35,360 Keep her steady, Jonesey. On you go, Pike. 250 00:22:35,360 --> 00:22:38,320 What are you doing, you idiots? 251 00:22:39,680 --> 00:22:44,920 How was that? He's still kicking. We'll give him three rounds each. 252 00:22:44,920 --> 00:22:49,000 I won't. No, fix your bayonet in case he comes low. 253 00:22:55,760 --> 00:23:00,760 What are you playing at? Cowboys and Indians? 254 00:23:00,760 --> 00:23:03,640 It's moved to eight now. 255 00:23:03,640 --> 00:23:08,480 'Charlie Leader here. I've spotted it. It's a ruddy balloon. 256 00:23:08,480 --> 00:23:12,240 'There's a fat round thing on the other end.' 257 00:23:15,080 --> 00:23:17,840 He's coming lower. 258 00:23:17,840 --> 00:23:22,240 The way the wind's blowing he'll finish up in Belgium. 259 00:23:23,440 --> 00:23:26,960 Oy, you, off! I'm commandeering this. 260 00:23:26,960 --> 00:23:29,360 Drive on! 261 00:23:32,960 --> 00:23:38,080 - He's getting lower. - Catch him before he gets to the bend. 262 00:23:45,760 --> 00:23:50,200 It's no good, Wilsie, he's gone across the field now. 263 00:23:53,920 --> 00:23:56,640 Oh, no! 264 00:24:02,920 --> 00:24:09,520 Oh! Oh, Freddie, that was wonderful. It was like the whole world shook. 265 00:24:11,680 --> 00:24:18,760 - He's gone towards Exmouth. - The first on the right is a short cut. Such a pretty walk. 266 00:24:20,360 --> 00:24:23,080 Oy! 267 00:24:33,080 --> 00:24:36,120 Can't you go any faster, Jonesey? 268 00:24:36,120 --> 00:24:39,960 What do you mean? I'm doing 20 now. 269 00:24:39,960 --> 00:24:45,000 Come on! You'd go quicker if you had an ugly Nazi behind you. 270 00:24:45,000 --> 00:24:49,040 Well, you're not exactly Ronald Coleman, you know. 271 00:25:02,440 --> 00:25:06,560 There's a balloon ahead by the bridge! 272 00:25:14,760 --> 00:25:18,000 Get me out of here! 273 00:25:25,560 --> 00:25:30,680 - Blimey, there's a train coming. - Spread your legs, Mr Mainwaring. 274 00:25:59,920 --> 00:26:04,480 Couldn't we burn a feather under his nose? 275 00:26:04,480 --> 00:26:10,400 - I'm all right. Only a few scratches. Where's the balloon? - Everything's under control. 276 00:26:13,000 --> 00:26:16,000 Well done, you chaps. 277 00:26:16,000 --> 00:26:18,520 Platoon, hup! 278 00:26:24,360 --> 00:26:27,200 You've done it again! 279 00:26:27,200 --> 00:26:30,200 Quick! Into the van. 280 00:26:30,200 --> 00:26:33,440 Follow that balloon. 281 00:27:22,560 --> 00:27:26,720 Subtitles by Hazel Nairn. BBC Scotland. 1992.