1 00:00:02,640 --> 00:00:10,640 # Who do you think you are kidding, Mr Hitler, If you think we're on the run? 2 00:00:11,880 --> 00:00:17,600 # We are the boys who will stop your little game 3 00:00:17,600 --> 00:00:22,000 # We are the boys who will make you think again! 4 00:00:22,000 --> 00:00:27,280 # Cos who do you think you are kidding, Mr Hitler 5 00:00:27,280 --> 00:00:32,120 # If you think old England's done!? 6 00:00:32,120 --> 00:00:36,680 # Mr Brown goes off to town On the 8.21 7 00:00:36,680 --> 00:00:41,680 # But he comes home each evening And he's ready with his gun! 8 00:00:41,680 --> 00:00:46,600 # So who do you think you are kidding, Mr Hitler 9 00:00:46,600 --> 00:00:51,240 # If you think old England's done!? # 10 00:00:55,480 --> 00:01:01,000 Welcome to Walmington-on-Sea(!) Blimey, what a dump! 11 00:01:01,000 --> 00:01:06,040 I joined the Navy to see the world, not to get stuck on a ruddy pier! 12 00:01:06,040 --> 00:01:12,520 You got on for nothing, didn't you? Before the war, you'd have had to pay a penny! 13 00:01:12,520 --> 00:01:16,520 What's the time, mate? Four o'clock. 14 00:01:16,520 --> 00:01:21,840 In two hours, it'll be ta-ra to sunny Walmington-on-Sea for good! 15 00:01:21,840 --> 00:01:29,600 I wonder who's taking over. There's a detachment due in a week's time. 16 00:01:29,600 --> 00:01:36,680 Somebody better tell Hitler not to invade this week. There won't be anybody to stop him. 17 00:01:36,680 --> 00:01:43,880 Oh, yes, there will! The PO said the Home Guard are taking over for the week! 18 00:01:43,880 --> 00:01:49,960 The Home Guard? Blimey! Gawd help poor old England! 19 00:01:49,960 --> 00:01:54,600 Now, I'll just go through the details once more. 20 00:01:54,600 --> 00:01:59,680 - Not again! - Did you say something? - Sorry, sir. Beg your pardon. 21 00:01:59,680 --> 00:02:06,800 We've been entrusted with the task of manning the machine-gun post at the pier here. 22 00:02:06,800 --> 00:02:15,160 You will notice that the pier has been blown up in the middle, to stop the enemy from landing there. 23 00:02:17,360 --> 00:02:25,080 I think you will agree that we will need a boat to get from this end HERE to this end HERE. 24 00:02:25,080 --> 00:02:32,120 - Hear, hear(!) - Quiet! We have a dinghy, but unfortunately, it only holds three people. 25 00:02:32,120 --> 00:02:36,680 It'll take several trips, and we need somebody to row. 26 00:02:36,680 --> 00:02:42,200 Permission to speak! I volunteer to row the boat from there to there! 27 00:02:42,200 --> 00:02:48,840 - I think it should be somebody who's more used to it. - Oh, please! - Sit down! 28 00:02:48,840 --> 00:02:53,600 - Frazer, you were in the Navy. You row. - Aye, sir. 29 00:02:53,600 --> 00:02:57,640 We shall all proceed from this end HERE... 30 00:02:57,640 --> 00:03:05,320 and shall embark from these steps here. Now, you, Frazer, will take Sgt Wilson and myself over first, 31 00:03:05,320 --> 00:03:10,360 then you'll row back and pick up Walker and Jones, take them across, 32 00:03:10,360 --> 00:03:18,240 - then you'll come back and pick up Pike and Godfrey, and then... - Row back and pick up yourself. 33 00:03:18,240 --> 00:03:26,520 I shan't tell you again! Now, let's do a check on what food we have, because we'll be out all night. 34 00:03:26,520 --> 00:03:33,640 - Permission to speak, sir! I prepared three pounds of sausages at dinner-time. - Good. Thank you. 35 00:03:33,640 --> 00:03:39,200 - And I have mustard, sir. English, French or German. - Just the English... 36 00:03:42,520 --> 00:03:50,840 - I made a fruit-cake. I've got apples and tomatoes. - I've got whisky. - Eh? - On the house! 37 00:03:50,840 --> 00:03:56,880 - We shan't starve! - No, sir. Sounds positively a gastronomic orgy. 38 00:03:56,880 --> 00:04:03,920 - What have you brought? - Well... a quarter-pound of acid drops. My favourite. 39 00:04:03,920 --> 00:04:10,040 I'd never have guessed (!) Well, that's all. Now... Pike! 40 00:04:10,040 --> 00:04:18,680 - You must not wear a coloured scarf with your uniform! - Me mum says not to take it off. I get croup. 41 00:04:18,680 --> 00:04:24,360 - Croup? Chickens get that, don't they? - Yes, that's right. 42 00:04:24,360 --> 00:04:31,560 - He gets it as well. - Really? - Yes. - Extraordinary. Perhaps he should bring some eggs! 43 00:04:31,560 --> 00:04:36,800 - Very nice little joke, sir! - Right, come along. Quick as we can. 44 00:04:36,800 --> 00:04:40,840 I want to get settled before darkness. 45 00:04:42,880 --> 00:04:50,480 Men, pay attention to the way I get into the boat. I don't want anyone to fall in the water. Understand? 46 00:04:52,640 --> 00:04:58,200 You will observe that I keep one foot on the ladder here... 47 00:04:58,200 --> 00:05:02,040 and one hand on the post here. 48 00:05:02,040 --> 00:05:05,160 The other foot is in the boat thus. 49 00:05:09,400 --> 00:05:12,760 Don't jiggle about! 50 00:05:12,760 --> 00:05:20,240 - Turn it around! Turn the boat round! - Make up your mind what way you want to get in! 51 00:05:22,280 --> 00:05:27,320 - Keep the boat still, Frazer! - I'm keeping it as still as I can! > 52 00:05:27,320 --> 00:05:35,800 Oi! Oi! Pay careful attention to Mr Mainwaring getting into the boat. We don't want anyone in the water! 53 00:05:35,800 --> 00:05:38,960 Move over, Frazer! I can't get in! 54 00:05:38,960 --> 00:05:44,000 How can I move over? I'm supposed to be rowing! Ow! > 55 00:05:44,000 --> 00:05:47,640 You kicked me in the stomach, you stupid Sassenach! > 56 00:05:47,640 --> 00:05:51,800 How dare you?! Take his name, Wilson. 57 00:06:14,520 --> 00:06:18,080 Come in, number 27! Your time's up! 58 00:06:21,200 --> 00:06:26,200 Walker! Report to me in the amusement arcade! 59 00:06:26,200 --> 00:06:34,120 - Here you are, sir. Just a bit more. Well done. There you are, sir. Well done. - Right. Thank you, Wilson. 60 00:06:34,120 --> 00:06:42,640 - Go back for the others, Frazer, and get them in the boat properly! - Away and die, you Sassenach git! 61 00:06:42,640 --> 00:06:48,080 - What did he say? - I have no idea, sir. It must have been Gaelic. 62 00:06:48,080 --> 00:06:53,480 - Whatever it was, it sounded rude. - Yes, indeed. Very unpleasant. 63 00:06:53,480 --> 00:07:01,640 - Ah! Oh, well! This is all right, isn't it? - Oh, yes, it is! It's absolutely delightful! 64 00:07:03,600 --> 00:07:10,760 Ah! We'll set up the machine-gun out here. And we'll take it in turns to go on watch. 65 00:07:10,760 --> 00:07:18,880 - Right, sir. - Good. Oh, I say! A hammock! Good! I'll take that. - Oh, now, really, sir! 66 00:07:18,880 --> 00:07:21,440 What's the matter? 67 00:07:21,440 --> 00:07:26,560 I really must protest, sir! Not even, "May I take the hammock?" 68 00:07:26,560 --> 00:07:29,360 Or even, "Do you MIND if I take it?" 69 00:07:29,360 --> 00:07:36,800 You just strut over and say, "I'm taking that." It's just the sort of behaviour I cannot stand! 70 00:07:36,800 --> 00:07:44,640 Well, I'm sorry, Wilson. Perhaps it was a little unthinking of me, a little undemocratic. 71 00:07:44,640 --> 00:07:50,080 - You know I'd never take advantage of my position. - Really, sir? 72 00:07:50,080 --> 00:07:54,840 - We shall take it in turns. - Thank you. - And I'm first. 73 00:07:57,200 --> 00:08:05,640 - Ah! Walker! Good crossing? - It was a bit choppy, sir. - May I sit down, sir? I feel a little queer. 74 00:08:05,640 --> 00:08:08,520 No time for that. Set up the gun. 75 00:08:08,520 --> 00:08:11,560 Go on, Walker. Out on the sandbags. 76 00:08:14,400 --> 00:08:18,880 And cover it up! We don't want the salt air in it! 77 00:08:20,480 --> 00:08:28,560 If Hitler invades, we shall be in the thick of it. Wish he would. I'm spoiling for a fight. 78 00:08:28,560 --> 00:08:32,640 - Are you really, sir? - Who gets the hammock? 79 00:08:32,640 --> 00:08:38,160 - We're taking turns. - The Captain's going first. - Is he? I AM surprised. 80 00:08:38,160 --> 00:08:40,920 Put the black-outs up. 81 00:08:40,920 --> 00:08:43,400 Right, sir. 82 00:08:58,200 --> 00:09:06,160 Hello, sir. Captain Mainwaring reporting. Yes, we've taken up our positions. We're ready for Hitler. 83 00:09:06,160 --> 00:09:10,800 No, no, no. Snug as a bug in a rug, here. Yes. 84 00:09:10,800 --> 00:09:15,600 If Gerry gets past us, it'll be over our dead bodies. 85 00:09:17,520 --> 00:09:25,160 Thank you very much, sir. Goodbye. That's the sort of fighting talk they like at GHQ, Wilson. 86 00:09:25,160 --> 00:09:33,640 Here we are, sir. Frazer and I are here. Pike is tying up the boat. Listen! 87 00:09:33,640 --> 00:09:37,440 WIND WHISTLES What's that sound? 88 00:09:37,440 --> 00:09:41,000 It's the wind in the girders. 89 00:09:41,000 --> 00:09:49,600 Aye, that's what YOU'D call it. But to somebody like mysel', who's spent his entire life at sea, 90 00:09:49,600 --> 00:09:56,640 it's the cry of ancient mariners lost in the deep... HARK! 91 00:09:59,720 --> 00:10:05,960 There it is again! Can you not hear them? Tormented cries for help! 92 00:10:07,680 --> 00:10:12,840 I did that speech at the drama society's production. 93 00:10:13,840 --> 00:10:16,560 I was the best thing in it. 94 00:10:16,560 --> 00:10:20,200 I'm very glad we didn't go to it. 95 00:10:20,200 --> 00:10:27,360 - I tied the boat up, Mr Mainwaring. - Right. Now, gather around for your orders for the night. 96 00:10:27,360 --> 00:10:35,480 We're on duty until 6.30 am. The time now is five minutes to... 21 hundred hours. 97 00:10:35,480 --> 00:10:41,520 - No, sir. No, no, no. It's 20.55. - Yes, well, that's what the time is. 98 00:10:41,520 --> 00:10:48,960 Now, I've worked out a rota, and it works out at an hour and a half of guard-duty each. Godfrey's first. 99 00:10:48,960 --> 00:10:53,400 That's from 21.00 to 22.30. Jones - 22.30 to 24.00. 100 00:10:53,400 --> 00:11:00,520 - And you, Walker, will take 24.00 to 25.30. - No, sir, it's 1.30. You start again after 24.00. 101 00:11:00,520 --> 00:11:07,560 - All right! 1.30. - I'm only trying to explain... - Yes, yes, all right! Go on, Godfrey. 102 00:11:07,560 --> 00:11:11,720 ALL: Yes, go on, Godfrey! Out you go! 103 00:11:11,720 --> 00:11:19,640 - Now, I'm starving. Where's the food, Pike? - I left it in the boat! - Well, go and get it, you stupid boy. 104 00:11:19,640 --> 00:11:22,560 - Who's having the hammock? - I am. 105 00:11:22,560 --> 00:11:28,000 - We're taking it in turns. - Oh, yes, sir. There's nothing like a hammock! 106 00:11:28,000 --> 00:11:32,240 It's all cosy. It wraps itself right round you. 107 00:11:32,240 --> 00:11:39,280 In Nelson's day, when sailors came into port they'd take their wives aboard. 108 00:11:39,280 --> 00:11:46,320 That stopped them getting restless. The trouble was, you didn't know who was in what hammock! 109 00:11:46,320 --> 00:11:51,480 They'd hang a leg out of the hammock. And when the cox-swine came in... 110 00:11:51,480 --> 00:11:56,520 he'd run his hand up the leg to see if it was a man or a woman's leg! 111 00:11:56,520 --> 00:11:59,560 Hence the saying, "Show a leg." 112 00:12:02,480 --> 00:12:06,480 Ah, Pike! Put the food on the table. 113 00:12:06,480 --> 00:12:11,520 - Can't wait for one of your sausages. - I done 'em just as you like 'em, sir. 114 00:12:11,520 --> 00:12:17,200 All crispy on the outside and pink inside. Very tasty! Very sweet! 115 00:12:17,200 --> 00:12:20,640 Put the food on the table, boy! 116 00:12:20,640 --> 00:12:26,160 I...can't put the food on the table, Mr Mainwaring. 'Cos I haven't got it. 117 00:12:26,160 --> 00:12:31,600 - You left it behind? - Oh, no, sir. The food's in the boat. 118 00:12:31,600 --> 00:12:36,640 - There's just one snag. - What's that? - The boat's gone. 119 00:12:36,640 --> 00:12:40,640 - WHAT ? - With all that lovely grub! 120 00:12:40,640 --> 00:12:48,600 - Did you tie the boat up? - Yes! There was a big electric cable and a thin one. I tied it to the thin one. - WHY? 121 00:12:48,600 --> 00:12:55,080 - I didn't want to touch the thick one. I might get electricified. - Stupid...! 122 00:12:55,080 --> 00:12:59,120 I expect you tied it to the telephone cable! 123 00:13:00,320 --> 00:13:03,200 Just as I thought. Dead as a dodo! 124 00:13:03,200 --> 00:13:08,200 We're marooned. Completely cut-off! No boat, no telephone, and no food! 125 00:13:08,200 --> 00:13:11,080 I still have some acid drops. 126 00:13:13,360 --> 00:13:16,840 Sorry, Mr Mainwaring. Sorry, Joe. 127 00:13:20,960 --> 00:13:23,600 I'm sorry, Mr Jones. 128 00:13:27,480 --> 00:13:30,200 I'm very sorry, Mr Frazer. 129 00:13:32,840 --> 00:13:36,440 I'm sorry. I didn't... Well, I didn't... 130 00:13:45,480 --> 00:13:48,120 Sorry, Mr Godfrey! 131 00:13:54,480 --> 00:13:59,080 - What about? - Get back on duty, Godfrey! 132 00:13:59,080 --> 00:14:05,200 - Why don't we signal to the shore for help? - Flash a light! 133 00:14:05,200 --> 00:14:10,640 - Good idea. Hand me the torch, Wilson. - I didn't bring a torch, sir. 134 00:14:10,640 --> 00:14:13,840 You didn't bring a torch? 135 00:14:13,840 --> 00:14:17,240 Nobody suggested I bring a torch. 136 00:14:17,240 --> 00:14:23,320 I distinctly remember telling you to bring a torch AND spare batteries! 137 00:14:23,320 --> 00:14:28,880 We could open and shut the window and they'll see the light! 138 00:14:28,880 --> 00:14:32,000 Yes! (I'll tend to YOU later!) 139 00:14:33,000 --> 00:14:40,960 - Permission to speak! I volunteer to open and shut the window, sir! - No, I think Sgt Wilson had better do it. 140 00:14:40,960 --> 00:14:43,120 Sergeant. 141 00:14:43,120 --> 00:14:45,880 Yes, sir. 142 00:14:45,880 --> 00:14:51,160 - We'll do it in Morse code. - I don't know any Morse code. - Naturally. 143 00:14:51,160 --> 00:14:58,920 - You were in the Navy, Frazer. You must know the Morse code. How do you spell "help"? - Just a minute... 144 00:14:58,920 --> 00:15:02,200 H-E-L-P. 145 00:15:02,200 --> 00:15:05,480 He doesn't know! He was only a cook! 146 00:15:05,480 --> 00:15:11,040 - Only a cook? I'll tell you...! - All right, all right. 147 00:15:11,040 --> 00:15:19,560 - I know Morse code, sir. You want SOS. - Ah. - You go dot dot dot, dash dash dash, dot dot dot! 148 00:15:19,560 --> 00:15:25,920 - Right. Stand by, Wilson. - How do you do dots and dashes with a window? 149 00:15:25,920 --> 00:15:31,960 - You open and shut the door at varying speeds! - Of course, sir. 150 00:15:31,960 --> 00:15:40,120 - What was that again? - Three dots, three dashes, three dots. Dit dit dit, DA-A DA-A DA-A, dit dit dit! 151 00:15:40,120 --> 00:15:42,440 I see. 152 00:15:42,440 --> 00:15:50,600 - You got that? - I think so. - Da da... You heard what he said. Go on. - Right... Dit! Dit! 153 00:15:54,120 --> 00:16:00,560 No, no, no, Mr Wilson! You done a da instead of a dit! 154 00:16:00,560 --> 00:16:08,040 - You're ditting when you should be dahing! - I can't help it! It's broken! - Get out of the way! 155 00:16:08,040 --> 00:16:11,080 - I'll do this. - Let the officer do it. 156 00:16:17,920 --> 00:16:24,960 Chilly tonight. Still, you're all right with that new uniform! Not bad, eh? I just got it. 157 00:16:24,960 --> 00:16:31,160 Why did you get one and not me? I waited a whole year for it! Yeah, but... 158 00:16:31,160 --> 00:16:38,920 Look! There's a light flashing! That must be Mainwaring and his mob. They're on guard tonight. 159 00:16:38,920 --> 00:16:47,560 Mainwaring? I might have guessed! I've got to get out there! He's done it on me, hasn't he? 160 00:16:47,560 --> 00:16:53,080 A boat! I need a boat! You can't! Those are for kids! 161 00:16:53,080 --> 00:17:00,680 I've got to get out there! No, but...! Mainwaring's persecuting me! 162 00:17:02,400 --> 00:17:07,440 - Hey, sir! Sir! - What is it? - They've spotted us! Something's coming! 163 00:17:07,440 --> 00:17:13,040 - Oh, good! - Wonder what it is. It's making a lot of splashing. 164 00:17:13,040 --> 00:17:18,480 Hey! Put that light out! Put that light out! 165 00:17:20,560 --> 00:17:23,320 Agggh! 166 00:17:25,120 --> 00:17:33,040 - That's funny! It disappeared! - It can't have! Can you see anything, Wilson? - Not a thing. 167 00:17:33,040 --> 00:17:40,080 - Rather eerie, isn't it, sir? - Aye! Permission to speak, sir! Perhaps it's a secret weapon! 168 00:17:40,080 --> 00:17:47,840 - Don't be daft, Jones. It wouldn't come from our own shore, would it? - Perhaps that's the secret! 169 00:17:50,120 --> 00:17:54,480 GURGLING What's that noise? 170 00:17:54,480 --> 00:18:02,000 - Mr Mainwaring! - Yes? - Come up here, quick! There's a...thing coming up the ladder! 171 00:18:02,000 --> 00:18:07,080 - Please, may I shoot it? - Certainly not! Leave this to me! 172 00:18:12,520 --> 00:18:16,240 You! You stupid load of hooligans! 173 00:18:20,160 --> 00:18:25,800 My uniform! You've ruined my new uniform! I only just got it! 174 00:18:25,800 --> 00:18:29,600 Leave off! I gave you my whisky, didn't I? 175 00:18:29,600 --> 00:18:34,320 Don't upset him. He's our side's best bowler. 176 00:18:34,320 --> 00:18:45,000 - We've just got to make the best of it until morning. See how Godfrey's getting on, Walker. - Sir. 177 00:18:45,000 --> 00:18:50,680 - Mr Mainwaring! - Yes? - Come over h...! Look at this! 178 00:18:50,680 --> 00:18:55,760 - It's full of chocolate! - I say! That's a lucky stroke! 179 00:18:55,760 --> 00:19:02,920 - What are you doing !? - I was going to break the glass. - Break the glass? - Yes. 180 00:19:02,920 --> 00:19:09,080 - Have you lost your senses? - No... - We're not savages, you know. 181 00:19:09,080 --> 00:19:17,160 We're a well-trained British army, and sportsmen, not Nazis! That's the sort of thing THEY'D do! 182 00:19:17,160 --> 00:19:26,040 - We'll get that chocolate by fair means! I want a volunteer to use that crane. - I volunteer, sir! 183 00:19:26,040 --> 00:19:33,800 - Right you are, Corporal. - Thank you, sir. - I shall navigate. - Yes, sir. - We need pennies. I haven't got any. 184 00:19:33,800 --> 00:19:36,600 - Sergeant? - I know I haven't got any. 185 00:19:36,600 --> 00:19:41,560 - I've got a penny! > - ONE isn't much use. 186 00:19:41,560 --> 00:19:46,080 - What about you, Frazer? - Did you speak, sir? 187 00:19:46,080 --> 00:19:51,120 - Got any pennies? - Aye... I have, thank you, sir. - Hand them over! 188 00:19:51,120 --> 00:19:57,480 - My pennies! My...! - Come on, come on, it's for the good of the platoon. 189 00:19:57,480 --> 00:20:00,480 - Stand by. - Standing by, sir! 190 00:20:03,160 --> 00:20:08,400 - Left a little... - Left a little, sir. - To the right. - To the right, sir... 191 00:20:08,400 --> 00:20:15,680 - Right, start lowering. - Lowering away, sir. - Right... - Right... - There we go... 192 00:20:15,680 --> 00:20:22,960 - Here we go... You're getting there... - Right, sir... It's coming... It's coming...! 193 00:20:22,960 --> 00:20:26,360 We've done it! We've done it, sir! 194 00:20:26,360 --> 00:20:33,840 Blast it! Let me have a try! They're MY pennies, aren't they? 195 00:20:33,840 --> 00:20:39,880 - That's not fair! - All right, all right... Go on, Frazer. 196 00:20:40,800 --> 00:20:49,920 - Left a little... Left... - I can manage this all by myself! I don't want any interference, understand? 197 00:21:16,800 --> 00:21:24,200 - Well, that's the last penny. - No! Not one and sixpence gone! 18 pennies! 36 halfpennies! 198 00:21:24,200 --> 00:21:28,240 - Calm down. - It wasnae YOUR money! - Sir! 199 00:21:28,240 --> 00:21:32,480 - Godfrey was asleep on duty so I shot him. - Good. 200 00:21:32,480 --> 00:21:39,640 - What's going on? - We're trying to get this chocolate out. - Is that all? Stand back. 201 00:21:40,600 --> 00:21:43,160 That's it... Right... 202 00:21:44,240 --> 00:21:50,000 - Hang on... There we go. Cop hold of that. - That's stealing! 203 00:21:50,000 --> 00:21:57,360 - We put one and sevenpence into the machine, and there IS a war on! - Maybe you're right. Here, Frazer. 204 00:21:57,360 --> 00:22:00,160 - Thank you, sir! - Hand them round. 205 00:22:00,160 --> 00:22:08,840 - What about ME, then? - Don't worry. - This chocolate must be two years old. What's it like, Frazer? 206 00:22:08,840 --> 00:22:13,720 Not bad! A wee bit hard, maybe, but not at all bad! 207 00:22:15,120 --> 00:22:22,000 Peuggh! This chocolate's all damaged! It's cardboard! 208 00:22:23,440 --> 00:22:26,360 Mine's all right! 209 00:22:51,080 --> 00:22:57,920 # OHH, SWEET MYSTERY OF LIFE AND LOVE! # 210 00:22:57,920 --> 00:23:02,240 DRUNKEN SINGING CONTINUES 211 00:23:02,240 --> 00:23:05,280 CHORUS OF "SHUT-UP"S 212 00:23:08,280 --> 00:23:15,400 - # OHHH...! # - How dare you keep everybody awake like this? Shut up and go to sleep! 213 00:23:15,400 --> 00:23:18,480 Don't you tell ME to shut up! 214 00:23:18,480 --> 00:23:23,760 - Cover him up! - Come on! I'll take you on! 215 00:23:23,760 --> 00:23:27,920 Come on, fatso! CHAOS 216 00:23:27,920 --> 00:23:33,080 Try not to be quite so excitable, for heaven's sake! 217 00:23:33,080 --> 00:23:38,120 - He's our best bowler, sir. Please... - Get him into the hammock. 218 00:23:38,120 --> 00:23:43,080 - Get in there. - The trouble is, nobody loves me! 219 00:23:43,080 --> 00:23:50,840 - Oh, we DO, Warden! - Just because I tell everybody to put their lights out! Put their lights out! 220 00:23:50,840 --> 00:23:54,040 What a very nasty little scene, sir. 221 00:23:54,040 --> 00:23:57,080 What do you expect from a tradesman? 222 00:24:12,640 --> 00:24:17,520 Blimey! The tide's coming up a bit high! 223 00:24:24,680 --> 00:24:29,960 Cor! Blimey, what's that! I don't like the look of THAT thing! 224 00:24:29,960 --> 00:24:34,040 That's a big black round thing! What's THAT ? 225 00:24:34,040 --> 00:24:36,400 Mr Mainwaring! 226 00:24:36,400 --> 00:24:41,080 - Mr Mainwaring! - Carefully does it, Mavis! 227 00:24:46,720 --> 00:24:54,280 - Mr Mainwaring! - Mmm...! - Mr Mainwaring! - Oh. Yes, Jones? - Permission to wake you up, sir! 228 00:24:54,280 --> 00:24:59,520 - What time is it? - It's a quarter to six hours, sir. 229 00:24:59,520 --> 00:25:06,880 - What's the matter? - Sir, there's something under the pier I do not like the look of. 230 00:25:06,880 --> 00:25:11,720 - Will you follow me, sir? - Ohh... - Come this way, sir. 231 00:25:11,720 --> 00:25:14,280 Over here, sir. 232 00:25:17,360 --> 00:25:21,760 Yes, that's right, sir, it's down there. 233 00:25:21,760 --> 00:25:25,480 Now, look down between these boards. 234 00:25:32,240 --> 00:25:40,320 - I'm in no mood for practical jokes at this hour, Jones! - No, sir, it wasn't one, sir. Look down here, sir. 235 00:25:40,320 --> 00:25:47,920 - What's that big black thing, sir? - Good heavens! It can't be...! It IS ! - What, sir? - It's a mine! 236 00:25:47,920 --> 00:25:53,600 - No time to lose! Follow me! - Right, sir! - Wake the men up! 237 00:25:53,600 --> 00:25:59,520 Yes, sir. Don't panic! Don't panic! There's a mine under the pier! 238 00:25:59,520 --> 00:26:04,120 Don't panic! Come on! Show a leg! Show a leg! 239 00:26:04,120 --> 00:26:07,440 Come on! Come on! Follow me! 240 00:26:12,040 --> 00:26:14,960 Right, men, follow me! Quickly! 241 00:26:14,960 --> 00:26:23,040 - What we've got to do, Jones, is fend it off these girders, or we'll all be blown sky-high! - Yes, sir! 242 00:26:23,040 --> 00:26:28,080 - Push it off! Push it off! - I'm trying! But my pole's too short! 243 00:26:28,080 --> 00:26:33,160 Get out of the way! It's coming round this other way! 244 00:26:37,600 --> 00:26:44,960 - Hey, hey! Come on! What do you think you're doing? - Trying to stop this bomb exploding! 245 00:26:44,960 --> 00:26:53,040 - This is an ARP matter, and I'm in charge! - Oh, get out! - Come on! Give me that! - What are you doing? 246 00:26:53,760 --> 00:26:56,600 Arggh! 247 00:27:02,200 --> 00:27:07,280 - It's following him! - It must be magnetic, following his tin hat! 248 00:27:07,280 --> 00:27:11,360 - Get it off! - Take your helmet off! 249 00:27:14,560 --> 00:27:21,960 - It's drifting out to sea! - Quick! Up on deck! We've got to blow it up before it does any damage! 250 00:27:25,680 --> 00:27:28,200 Wait for me! 251 00:27:28,200 --> 00:27:35,360 Frazer, you take the Lewis gun! Everyone, take aim, and, in your own time, fire! 252 00:27:43,480 --> 00:27:46,160 It's drifting towards the shore! 253 00:27:48,680 --> 00:27:51,560 Stop talking. Go on firing. 254 00:27:55,320 --> 00:28:00,520 - It's headed for the novelty rock emporium! - Fire! - We're out of ammo! 255 00:28:01,520 --> 00:28:04,520 Stand back! Can't you even hit that? 256 00:28:04,520 --> 00:28:07,880 - I've had enough of you! - Stand back! 257 00:28:20,920 --> 00:28:28,480 - By Jove, Wilson, you were right. He IS a good bowler. - He's even better with his clothes on. - Really?