1 00:00:03,960 --> 00:00:11,920 # Who do you think you are kidding, Mr Hitler, If you think we're on the run? 2 00:00:11,920 --> 00:00:17,040 # We are the boys who will stop your little game, 3 00:00:17,040 --> 00:00:22,120 # We are the boys who will make you think again, 4 00:00:22,120 --> 00:00:31,760 # 'Cos who do you think you are kidding, Mr Hitler, If you think old England's done? 5 00:00:31,760 --> 00:00:36,960 # Mr Brown goes off to town on the 8.21, 6 00:00:36,960 --> 00:00:41,920 # But he comes home each evening And he's ready with his gun, 7 00:00:41,920 --> 00:00:51,080 # So who do you think you are kidding, Mr Hitler, If you think old England's done? # 8 00:00:52,080 --> 00:01:00,160 - Are the men ready for my fieldcraft lecture, Wilson? - Oh, yes. - March them over to the recreation ground. 9 00:01:00,160 --> 00:01:05,920 - The Town Clerk gave his permission? - If we keep away from the swings. 10 00:01:05,920 --> 00:01:10,920 He'll change his tune if the Nazis pound over his bowling-greens! 11 00:01:10,920 --> 00:01:19,320 Yes. Jones and Pike are waiting for you to inspect their rifles and Frazer has his Lewis gun. 12 00:01:19,320 --> 00:01:26,680 - Yes, right. Wheel them in. - Would you kindly step this way? - Oh, Wilson! Bark it out! 13 00:01:26,680 --> 00:01:30,080 WOULD YOU KINDLY STEP THIS WAY ? 14 00:01:30,080 --> 00:01:35,160 Left, right, left, right... Halt! 15 00:01:35,160 --> 00:01:37,920 Right turn! 16 00:01:37,920 --> 00:01:42,920 - Corporal, Corporal... - About turn! 17 00:01:44,280 --> 00:01:51,680 - Right, Pike. Let's have a look. - I've polished most of the marks off. - That's much better. 18 00:01:51,680 --> 00:01:54,320 This is a precision instrument. 19 00:01:54,320 --> 00:01:58,720 Never again let your mother clean it with a bath brick. 20 00:01:58,720 --> 00:02:01,280 I promise. 21 00:02:01,280 --> 00:02:03,920 - Corporal? - Sir. 22 00:02:13,920 --> 00:02:21,360 - I'm surprised yours was in this state. - Sorry, sir. I cleaned it with mutton cloth. 23 00:02:21,360 --> 00:02:30,160 - I think some mutton got on it, sir. - That's no excuse for the sausage skin stuck in the magazine! There. 24 00:02:30,160 --> 00:02:35,440 - I shan't take it in the shop no more, sir. - Very wise. 25 00:02:39,200 --> 00:02:45,120 - Frazer. - Thank goodness I've no' to clean that again for 3 weeks! 26 00:02:45,120 --> 00:02:50,280 That is not the right attitude. It's a privilege to clean it. 27 00:02:50,280 --> 00:02:54,760 If it was a privilege, YOU'd do it! 28 00:02:54,760 --> 00:02:57,640 That'll do, that'll do. 29 00:02:57,640 --> 00:03:00,920 The butterfly spring is missing! 30 00:03:00,920 --> 00:03:05,040 - Eh? - Where is it? - Oh, aye. 31 00:03:05,040 --> 00:03:13,440 - I must have left it in my workshop. - Your workshop? - Aye. I took the gun home to clean it up. 32 00:03:13,440 --> 00:03:18,880 Look, Frazer, you had no business to take equipment off the premises. 33 00:03:18,880 --> 00:03:22,000 It's useless without that spring! 34 00:03:22,000 --> 00:03:31,200 - If a Nazi came in, you could only hit him! - Permission to speak, sir? That would make his eyes water! 35 00:03:31,200 --> 00:03:36,080 Yes, well, I'm not taking any chances on that. 36 00:03:36,080 --> 00:03:45,480 - Sergeant Wilson! - Sir! - March the men to the recreation ground and stop at Frazer's on the way. - How nice! 37 00:03:45,480 --> 00:03:50,480 - This is my wee den, sir. - Bring the gun in, Jones. 38 00:03:50,480 --> 00:03:53,560 - That's funny. - What's funny? 39 00:03:53,560 --> 00:03:58,680 - The box is gone! - What box? - The box I put the gun parts in! 40 00:03:58,680 --> 00:04:01,880 Tell me exactly what you did. 41 00:04:01,880 --> 00:04:06,920 I polished the parts and put them in the box here, 42 00:04:06,920 --> 00:04:15,360 - and I put the lid on the box, while I sanded this down here. - What sort of box was it here? 43 00:04:15,360 --> 00:04:23,200 - Just a box, like this one here. - I'm not interested in that one. I want to know about the one here. 44 00:04:23,200 --> 00:04:28,320 - It looked like...this one here. - Good heavens! 45 00:04:28,320 --> 00:04:33,480 - What an extraordinary thing to collect! - I make them! 46 00:04:33,480 --> 00:04:38,920 - I had no idea. - It's a skill I learned when I was a wee boy. 47 00:04:38,920 --> 00:04:46,840 - You told me you were a fisherman in the Hebrides. - Aye, I was, but it's wild and lonely on Mingulay! 48 00:04:46,840 --> 00:04:52,000 - You have to do everything for yoursel'. - Even this? - Aye. 49 00:04:52,000 --> 00:04:59,000 And dentistry. The one tool does gey well for both jobs. 50 00:04:59,000 --> 00:05:04,520 - The point is, where is it now? - Mr Drury will have taken it! 51 00:05:04,520 --> 00:05:11,200 Every second that gun is out of action, our homes are in jeopardy! 52 00:05:14,880 --> 00:05:19,760 I'm so sorry. Mr Drury will be round right away. 53 00:05:19,760 --> 00:05:28,560 Don't apologise. There's no need for a reservation. We deal with these matters...as they arise. 54 00:05:28,560 --> 00:05:34,440 - Good evening, Miss Baker. - Good evening. What brings you here? 55 00:05:34,440 --> 00:05:37,480 I wish to see Mr Drury urgently. 56 00:05:37,480 --> 00:05:40,440 Don't tell me it's poor Mr Jones! 57 00:05:40,440 --> 00:05:44,680 'Ere! I heard that! I'll tell him. 58 00:05:44,680 --> 00:05:52,440 - He always was a money-grubbing old cuss! I'll come when I'm called! Not before! - All right, Jones. 59 00:05:52,440 --> 00:05:59,440 - Sir, do you need me here? - Yes. What's the matter? - Nothing. Why do you ask? 60 00:05:59,440 --> 00:06:01,760 You're not your usual laughing self. 61 00:06:01,760 --> 00:06:05,400 The whole situation is bizarre. 62 00:06:05,400 --> 00:06:13,120 Why? We ask an undertaker if we can see inside a coffin for a spare part for a Lewis gun. 63 00:06:13,120 --> 00:06:16,920 Yes... It could happen to anyone. 64 00:06:16,920 --> 00:06:20,480 I'm sorry! I can't stop! 65 00:06:20,480 --> 00:06:23,560 Mr Drury, just a moment! Get him. 66 00:06:23,560 --> 00:06:26,800 Walker! Follow that undertaker! 67 00:06:26,800 --> 00:06:34,640 - He was in a hurry! - Do you mind that Mr Drury ordered a box from me on Wednesday? 68 00:06:34,640 --> 00:06:40,200 - Yes. - I'm not satisfied with it. Do you think I could examine it? 69 00:06:40,200 --> 00:06:43,040 It's gone for Mr Horace Blewitt. 70 00:06:43,040 --> 00:06:48,040 Old Horace Blewitt? He was in my shop last Wednesday. 71 00:06:48,040 --> 00:06:52,560 I gave him two books of best end of neck. 72 00:06:52,560 --> 00:06:58,800 Now he's passed away. Without using this week's rations! 73 00:06:58,800 --> 00:07:06,920 I would dearly like to pay my last respects, ma'am. Is he in the Chapel of Rest? 74 00:07:06,920 --> 00:07:12,880 No, he's at home. His brother wanted him to rest on the dining table. 75 00:07:12,880 --> 00:07:16,000 A beautiful thought! 76 00:07:16,000 --> 00:07:20,000 We'll not bother you any longer. Come on. 77 00:07:20,000 --> 00:07:25,080 - Sir... - 21 Marigold Avenue. - On the dining-room table. - What? 78 00:07:25,080 --> 00:07:30,400 Sir, can you excuse Jonesie and me from the fieldcraft lecture? 79 00:07:30,400 --> 00:07:35,280 I think we ought to go and pay our last respects, sir. 80 00:07:35,280 --> 00:07:38,320 Yes, all right. You're excused. 81 00:07:38,320 --> 00:07:45,960 - You keep the brother talking. I'll... - Yes, all right. All right, come on. 82 00:07:45,960 --> 00:07:48,720 Come through here, Mr Jones. 83 00:07:51,680 --> 00:07:57,000 In my calling, Mr Blewitt, I'm no stranger to sorrow, 84 00:07:57,000 --> 00:08:04,320 - but if I'd known this box was for my friend, tears would have mingled with the varnish. - You knew him? 85 00:08:04,320 --> 00:08:13,560 - Oh, intimately. - He was in my shop on Wednesday and I gave him two books of best end of neck. 86 00:08:13,560 --> 00:08:21,560 Yes, he came in, put the shopping down on the table and unwrapped that very piece of meat. 87 00:08:21,560 --> 00:08:29,280 - You never know, do you? - No. And do you know the very last words he said? - No. 88 00:08:29,280 --> 00:08:38,440 He stood where Mr Frazer is, with the meat in his hand and said, "Look at that - all bloody bone!" 89 00:08:41,000 --> 00:08:43,960 And the next second he was gone! 90 00:08:43,960 --> 00:08:52,240 - You've got to have a bit of bone, haven't you? - It was ALL bone. There wasn't a scrap of meat! 91 00:08:52,240 --> 00:08:59,720 - If a sheep had no bones in its neck, its head would wallop about! - You must have some meat! 92 00:08:59,720 --> 00:09:04,120 - There was plenty of meat there. - Gristle. 93 00:09:04,120 --> 00:09:11,680 - Plenty of meat an' all ! - If there had been meat, poor Horace would still be with us! It was the shock! 94 00:09:11,680 --> 00:09:15,920 You're as good as saying I done him in! 95 00:09:15,920 --> 00:09:19,480 No, but it was all bone and gristle. 96 00:09:19,480 --> 00:09:22,880 You've insulted me! I'm going. 97 00:09:22,880 --> 00:09:27,920 - Come on, Jock. - Bide a wee. I've a few more respects to pay. 98 00:09:27,920 --> 00:09:32,320 I'm not going to be insulted like that! 99 00:09:32,320 --> 00:09:37,720 - You old fool ! Do you no' mind what we came for? - No, I don't! 100 00:09:37,720 --> 00:09:43,520 - Well, it's too late now. - Mainwaring will have me shot at dawn! 101 00:09:43,520 --> 00:09:52,600 Captain Rogers? Mainwaring here. I was wondering what the position... Hmm? Mainwaring. Home Guard. 102 00:09:52,600 --> 00:10:00,680 I was wondering what the position was about Lewis guns... Walmington-on-Sea. Home Guard! 103 00:10:00,680 --> 00:10:06,640 I was wondering about Lewis gun spares. What have you in stock? 104 00:10:06,640 --> 00:10:09,840 What all? Oh! 105 00:10:13,880 --> 00:10:17,320 Rather what we expected, wasn't it? 106 00:10:17,320 --> 00:10:22,640 No, no, no. It's a routine inquiry, that's all. Thank you. 107 00:10:23,840 --> 00:10:25,600 Not a single nut. 108 00:10:25,600 --> 00:10:32,040 Perhaps we can get this piece made by some skilled person, sir? 109 00:10:32,040 --> 00:10:37,280 - Walker, you have a friend who is good at metalwork. - Albert? 110 00:10:37,280 --> 00:10:41,800 - Yes. Doesn't he make spare parts? - He's on holiday. 111 00:10:41,800 --> 00:10:47,560 - Until when? - Well, he was caught making a spare part for a safe! 112 00:10:47,560 --> 00:10:54,240 Sir, Mr Frazer apologises for having mislaid a valuable piece of equipment. 113 00:10:54,240 --> 00:10:57,320 Let it be a lesson to us all. 114 00:10:57,320 --> 00:11:01,600 For want of a nail, a shoe was lost. For want of that, a horse was lost. 115 00:11:01,600 --> 00:11:04,840 For want of it, a battle was lost. 116 00:11:04,840 --> 00:11:12,040 - Hence the expression, "Keep your hair on." - Precisely. We'll find a way round this. 117 00:11:12,040 --> 00:11:19,200 - I don't see what that's got to do with it. - Come to think of it, neither do I. 118 00:11:19,200 --> 00:11:27,560 This gun must get back in action. Jones, get your section and I'll outline the plan of campaign. 119 00:11:27,560 --> 00:11:30,760 Okay, sir. 120 00:11:42,920 --> 00:11:46,080 (You know what part to play? 121 00:11:46,080 --> 00:11:51,480 (I go to the end of the terrace and if anyone approaches, I signal. 122 00:11:51,480 --> 00:11:56,280 - (Right. Off you go. - What is the signal? 123 00:11:56,280 --> 00:12:01,400 - (Make it a cuckoo whistle. - A cuckoo? How do you do that? 124 00:12:01,400 --> 00:12:08,600 (Cup your hands together and blow through your thumbs. Hold this. I'll show you. 125 00:12:08,600 --> 00:12:12,760 - (Blow through there. - Oh, I see.) 126 00:12:12,760 --> 00:12:15,920 NO WHISTLE 127 00:12:16,880 --> 00:12:21,920 Blimey! If you two are cold, I could sell you a pair of gloves! 128 00:12:21,920 --> 00:12:27,440 - Virgin wool. From the sheep that could run faster... - All right! 129 00:12:27,440 --> 00:12:32,800 - You better cough. - All right, sir. - Off you go. - Got the torch? 130 00:12:32,800 --> 00:12:40,520 - Wilson! - Sir? - The torch! - YOU've got the torch! You gave me that little flash. 131 00:12:40,520 --> 00:12:43,840 But I gave you the torch. 132 00:12:43,840 --> 00:12:49,960 - Here... - No, don't! Please! It upsets me, that kind of thing. - Go on! 133 00:12:49,960 --> 00:12:54,440 - Right, go to work. - Let's have a look. 134 00:12:55,680 --> 00:13:00,440 - Can you do it? - It's an open invitation. 135 00:13:00,440 --> 00:13:08,440 - I'll hold the light. - Would you look away? I promised the guy who showed me that I wouldn't pass it on. 136 00:13:08,440 --> 00:13:12,920 - Honour among thieves (?) - He was a copper! 137 00:13:19,120 --> 00:13:27,560 - Well done. You know what to do, Godfrey? - When the light goes on in Mr Blewitt's room, sound the alarm. 138 00:13:27,560 --> 00:13:32,120 Off you go...at the double. ..Off you go. 139 00:13:32,120 --> 00:13:38,080 - Now, Pike? - I go to the bottom of the stairs and keep watch there. 140 00:13:41,880 --> 00:13:47,200 - I saw William Powell do this in "Raffles". - Never mind that! 141 00:13:48,440 --> 00:13:53,840 - No, it was Errol Flynn! - It was Ronald Colman! Get inside! 142 00:13:53,840 --> 00:13:57,760 - Lance Corporal Jones...! - Sssh! 143 00:13:57,760 --> 00:14:02,920 (Lance Corporal Jones and Private Frazer reporting for your flash.) 144 00:14:02,920 --> 00:14:10,480 - You know what to do? - Yes. I will hold the torch while Private Frazer does the looking. 145 00:14:10,480 --> 00:14:16,720 Or if necessary, I'll do the lifting while he does the ferreting. 146 00:14:16,720 --> 00:14:20,080 Take the torch and get on with it. 147 00:14:21,920 --> 00:14:27,280 - I was supposed to go first! - Wake up your ideas! 148 00:14:27,280 --> 00:14:32,560 - I didn't leave that thing in the coffin! - Shut up, blether! 149 00:14:32,560 --> 00:14:35,960 Go on, get inside there! 150 00:14:35,960 --> 00:14:39,320 - It's not my fault... - Stop talking! 151 00:14:40,840 --> 00:14:44,080 < Blast! 152 00:14:44,080 --> 00:14:49,800 - What is it? - I dropped the torch! - Pick it up! - I have, sir. 153 00:14:49,800 --> 00:14:53,960 - Gie's it! ..It's bust! - It's bust! 154 00:14:55,480 --> 00:14:58,400 Sssh! 155 00:15:00,240 --> 00:15:03,840 BREAKING GLASS 156 00:15:03,840 --> 00:15:06,880 There's candles. Got a match? 157 00:15:06,880 --> 00:15:11,360 COUGHING Get down! Get down! 158 00:15:11,360 --> 00:15:15,120 - If you look in my overcoat... - Ssh! 159 00:15:15,120 --> 00:15:18,040 Excuse me, sir. 160 00:15:18,040 --> 00:15:23,520 - What is it? - I wasn't signalling. It's just a tickle in the throat. 161 00:15:23,520 --> 00:15:30,800 - Get back to your post! - I'll blow my nose. It's simpler. - Good idea (!) Go on! 162 00:15:30,800 --> 00:15:37,240 - Where's your matches? - Here's a lighter. 25 bob. - Scrooge! 163 00:15:38,240 --> 00:15:43,880 - You nearly pushed my teeth down my throat! - Stop blethering! 164 00:15:50,400 --> 00:15:53,600 I'll get the candles. 165 00:15:54,600 --> 00:15:59,720 I don't like this, Mr Frazer. I don't like it at all. 166 00:15:59,720 --> 00:16:04,760 - It's a wicked, wicked business. - Yes. - But it's got to be done, son. 167 00:16:13,200 --> 00:16:15,920 Ah! 168 00:16:15,920 --> 00:16:19,200 The Captain will have to know. 169 00:16:21,880 --> 00:16:28,040 - Captain, bad news! - What? - They've screwed him doon! - Great Scott! 170 00:16:28,040 --> 00:16:31,200 They've screwed him down, sir! 171 00:16:31,200 --> 00:16:37,160 - Sir, could you spare me for a few minutes? - No! We need a screwdriver. 172 00:16:37,160 --> 00:16:42,360 I flogged mine to Godfrey to tighten his rollerskates! 173 00:16:42,360 --> 00:16:45,440 Improvise. Has anyone got a knife? 174 00:16:45,440 --> 00:16:54,000 - I have a fruit knife. - Hand it over. - It's rather nice, with a mother-of-pearl handle. 175 00:16:54,000 --> 00:16:59,200 - Hold up the candles. - I am! - Keep them steady, for God's sake! 176 00:16:59,200 --> 00:17:07,360 - They're taking far too long. We should be away by now. - Sir... The blasted knife broke in half! 177 00:17:07,360 --> 00:17:10,320 Japanese rubbish! 178 00:17:10,320 --> 00:17:16,760 - Go and get Pike's scout knife. - The knife's broken! - I know! 179 00:17:16,760 --> 00:17:20,520 - I'll miss it on picnics. - Back you go. 180 00:17:23,560 --> 00:17:26,600 - AAAAH ! - Sssh! 181 00:17:26,600 --> 00:17:33,680 - Gie us your scout knife. - What do you want it for? - To unscrew the coffin. 182 00:17:33,680 --> 00:17:39,680 Not with my knife! Frank, don't be difficult. 183 00:17:39,680 --> 00:17:44,800 - Jonesie, bring the candle here. - You stay there and keep guard. 184 00:17:44,800 --> 00:17:49,600 It's working, it's working. I've got it. 185 00:17:49,600 --> 00:17:53,080 Good, good, good. 186 00:17:55,640 --> 00:17:58,760 - Waaah! - Waaah! 187 00:17:58,760 --> 00:18:05,560 - His light's gone on upstairs! Don't panic! - Come on! Quick! 188 00:18:05,560 --> 00:18:08,440 Blewitt's coming! 189 00:18:08,440 --> 00:18:14,040 - Come on, men! Quick! - Don't you panic, Mr Mainwaring! 190 00:18:14,040 --> 00:18:18,760 Don't panic, sir! Wait for me! 191 00:18:20,360 --> 00:18:23,400 Anyone there? 192 00:18:29,560 --> 00:18:34,480 - Is anyone there? - There's a light on at the back. 193 00:18:34,480 --> 00:18:39,960 - Good evening. - It's awful. My brother has got a screw loose! 194 00:18:39,960 --> 00:18:45,640 Oh, dear me. They say there's one in most families. Goodnight. 195 00:18:52,880 --> 00:19:00,800 - Right, are we all here? Where is Godfrey? - I think he had to run all the way home. 196 00:19:00,800 --> 00:19:07,720 - I suppose you still didn't manage to retrieve the spring? - Sorry, sir. 197 00:19:07,720 --> 00:19:14,800 Tonight Goering will turn his deadly weapons on us again and our machine gun is useless! 198 00:19:14,800 --> 00:19:21,880 They can fly up and down all night, picking us off one by one! We can do nothing to stop it! 199 00:19:21,880 --> 00:19:26,960 - We're not allowed to fire at them! - That's not the point. - Sorry, sir. 200 00:19:26,960 --> 00:19:32,600 - He's trying to say he's sorry... - I've got a tongue in my head! 201 00:19:32,600 --> 00:19:40,600 - Let it be a lesson to all of us. - Yes. For the want of a battle, the horse was nailed! 202 00:19:40,600 --> 00:19:44,200 Sir, why don't we have another go? 203 00:19:44,200 --> 00:19:51,320 - AIR RAID SIREN - We can't do that now. It's an air raid. To your posts. 204 00:19:51,320 --> 00:19:59,080 - Will Mr Frazer be court-martialled? - It's quite a possibility. - What chance have I got? 205 00:19:59,080 --> 00:20:07,280 - What chance indeed? - Never mind. Mr Mainwaring will look after us. He's our inspiration in time of need. 206 00:20:07,280 --> 00:20:13,960 Even now I bet there is an ingenious plan forming in his brain. 207 00:20:22,360 --> 00:20:27,400 - It seems rather desperate, sir. - It may not be necessary. 208 00:20:27,400 --> 00:20:32,480 - Frazer's at the funeral. He may have the spring. - How will we know? 209 00:20:32,480 --> 00:20:36,520 He's going to signal. Here they come. 210 00:20:40,520 --> 00:20:43,840 Hand me those glasses. 211 00:20:51,320 --> 00:20:58,560 No, it's no good. Walker, Pike, put up that notice and don't let anybody in. 212 00:20:58,560 --> 00:21:03,640 - There must be some law against this, sir. - Keep your eye on me. 213 00:21:03,640 --> 00:21:11,080 - If they won't go, tell them the bomb is ticking. - Then what? - We wait until dark. 214 00:21:11,080 --> 00:21:14,320 Then it's up to Frazer. 215 00:21:16,440 --> 00:21:24,120 - 'Ere, Uncle, there is a law against grave robbery. Habeas corpus. - Oh, go on, Frank. 216 00:22:08,600 --> 00:22:14,000 Well, do what the Captain said and I might well see you tonight. 217 00:22:22,880 --> 00:22:25,440 Working on your sermon, sir? 218 00:22:25,440 --> 00:22:31,560 - Making notes. Where are you taking that spade? - St Matthew's Church. 219 00:22:31,560 --> 00:22:39,360 - Have they disposed of the bomb? - I don't know, but I must do something for poor old Mr Blewitt. 220 00:22:39,360 --> 00:22:45,960 - It can wait. - It might rain, sir. That would be an abomination. 221 00:22:45,960 --> 00:22:50,400 Even more so if you are blown all over the yard! 222 00:22:50,400 --> 00:22:54,760 Don't you worry, sir. I'll be all right. 223 00:22:54,760 --> 00:23:01,920 - Go if you must. You're a braver man than I am. - There's all sorts of courage. 224 00:23:01,920 --> 00:23:07,320 I don't know how you have the nerve to give those sermons every Sunday! 225 00:23:07,320 --> 00:23:12,360 - I'm not going down there! - I'm sorry to hear that, son. 226 00:23:12,360 --> 00:23:20,080 - You're young and strong. - I'm not strong. I've got no muscles at all ! 227 00:23:20,080 --> 00:23:26,400 Perhaps Mr Walker? Yeah, Joe, you have muscles. 228 00:23:26,400 --> 00:23:32,280 But I have no guts! Jonesie, you'll volunteer, eh? 229 00:23:32,280 --> 00:23:35,400 - To go down there? - Nah! 230 00:23:35,400 --> 00:23:41,040 He won't do it. He never volunteers unless Mainwaring is watching! 231 00:23:41,040 --> 00:23:46,080 That's a very hurtful thing to say! I'm not a bit like that! 232 00:23:46,080 --> 00:23:51,840 - I WILL volunteer for this grisly thing. - And tell Mainwaring after! 233 00:23:51,840 --> 00:23:56,960 Listen, if it wasn't for my age, I'd punch your head in. 234 00:23:56,960 --> 00:24:02,400 As it is, take formal notice - I will not honour your meat coupons! 235 00:24:02,400 --> 00:24:07,880 Don't stand here arguing. Down you get, Jonesie. 236 00:24:07,880 --> 00:24:11,920 Steady. All right, all right. 237 00:24:11,920 --> 00:24:14,960 Hold on. Don't...! 238 00:24:14,960 --> 00:24:19,000 - Are you all right? - What do YOU care? 239 00:24:19,000 --> 00:24:27,880 - I take it back. You're doing this for me. I'd no call to insult you. - All right. I accept your apology. 240 00:24:27,880 --> 00:24:33,320 Here's a shovel. Someone's approaching. 241 00:24:33,320 --> 00:24:36,480 Get him out! 242 00:24:36,480 --> 00:24:40,000 - Too late! - Let him go! 243 00:24:40,000 --> 00:24:47,760 Jonesie, you stay down there and we'll hide behind the gravestones until he's gone. 244 00:25:22,600 --> 00:25:26,760 Aaah! AAAAAAH ! 245 00:25:32,080 --> 00:25:36,680 My men wouldn't do such childish pranks! 246 00:25:36,680 --> 00:25:42,160 I speak as their Commanding Officer and a student of human nature. 247 00:25:42,160 --> 00:25:45,240 I recognised them running off! 248 00:25:45,240 --> 00:25:50,520 The big, rude Scots one, the Mummy's boy, Grandad and the clever dick! 249 00:25:50,520 --> 00:25:56,920 - They were in the hall doing weapon maintenance. - Okay. Send for them! 250 00:25:59,680 --> 00:26:02,560 All right! 251 00:26:05,720 --> 00:26:14,320 - Godfrey! Pike! Frazer! Who was the other one? - The clever dick one! - And Walker! Come in here. 252 00:26:19,440 --> 00:26:23,680 - Satisfied? - Why are they out of breath? 253 00:26:23,680 --> 00:26:27,080 - We were doing P.T. - Press-ups. 254 00:26:27,080 --> 00:26:32,600 HE's been doing press-ups (?) Only little, tiny, weenie ones. 255 00:26:32,600 --> 00:26:40,320 This is very fishy to me. And there was another one! Yes - down below! 256 00:26:40,320 --> 00:26:45,080 Oh! I've had an unearthly experience! 257 00:26:45,080 --> 00:26:50,560 - What did I say? - You're late, Jones. Where have you been? 258 00:26:50,560 --> 00:26:55,880 - I...I've been digging for victory, sir. - There you are. 259 00:26:55,880 --> 00:27:02,200 Who digs at night? I do! The vicar must be informed! 260 00:27:02,200 --> 00:27:07,680 I wouldn't be surprised if you get embroiled with the bishop! 261 00:27:08,680 --> 00:27:12,320 I hope you are all satisfied (!) 262 00:27:12,320 --> 00:27:16,640 I felt all along it would end like this. 263 00:27:16,640 --> 00:27:24,080 - Frazer. - Aye. - I explained to you what you were undertaking when you went into this venture. 264 00:27:24,080 --> 00:27:33,280 Now you are caught, you must take the consequences. Grave-robbing is a very serious matter. 265 00:27:33,280 --> 00:27:38,440 - No more serious than house-breaking. - Never mind that. 266 00:27:38,440 --> 00:27:44,280 You realise I must report this to GHQ and you'll be in trouble? 267 00:27:44,280 --> 00:27:50,600 - Don't look so miserable. Have a fag, mate. - Thanks, Joe. 268 00:27:50,600 --> 00:27:54,760 - I said it would happen. - Oh, do be quiet! 269 00:27:54,760 --> 00:27:59,000 - Anyone got a light? - I have. Here... 270 00:27:59,000 --> 00:28:07,080 Captain Mainwaring here. Can I speak to Captain Rogers? Mainwaring! Walmington Home Guard! 271 00:28:07,080 --> 00:28:14,920 - Look! - Blimey! The butterfly spring! - It must have been in my pocket the whole time. 272 00:28:14,920 --> 00:28:17,560 Frazer, that's very careless! 273 00:28:17,560 --> 00:28:22,920 Captain Rogers, I have something serious to report. One of... 274 00:28:22,920 --> 00:28:25,680 One... 275 00:28:25,680 --> 00:28:28,640 Deal with that, Wilson. 276 00:28:30,560 --> 00:28:33,840 What? I don't quite understand. 277 00:28:33,840 --> 00:28:36,920 Have you an account with us, sir? 278 00:29:16,600 --> 00:29:22,560 Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd