1 00:00:02,720 --> 00:00:07,720 # Who do you think you are kidding, Mr Hitler, 2 00:00:07,720 --> 00:00:11,480 # If you think we're on the run? 3 00:00:12,520 --> 00:00:17,320 # We are the boys who will stop your little game, 4 00:00:17,320 --> 00:00:22,360 # We are the boys who will make you think again, 5 00:00:22,360 --> 00:00:27,120 # 'Cos who do you think you are kidding, Mr Hitler, 6 00:00:27,120 --> 00:00:31,080 # If you think old England's done? 7 00:00:31,720 --> 00:00:36,120 # Mr Brown goes off to town on the 8.21, 8 00:00:36,120 --> 00:00:41,320 # But he comes home each evening and he's ready with his gun. 9 00:00:41,320 --> 00:00:46,440 # So who do you think you are kidding, Mr Hitler, 10 00:00:46,440 --> 00:00:50,480 # If you think old England's done? # 11 00:00:54,000 --> 00:01:02,240 So, to sum up, whether we use bicycles, Jones's van, or any other form of vehicular transport... 12 00:01:03,480 --> 00:01:09,520 ..the whole thing boils down to one thing in the end - the three Fs. 13 00:01:13,920 --> 00:01:20,480 Fast feet, functional feet and, last but not least, fit feet. 14 00:01:22,080 --> 00:01:27,480 I've got here two diagrams issued by the Royal Army Medical Corps. 15 00:01:27,480 --> 00:01:30,000 The first one... 16 00:01:31,240 --> 00:01:36,360 ..shows... what a good foot should be. 17 00:01:38,080 --> 00:01:42,880 Er...take the first metatarsal, here... 18 00:01:42,880 --> 00:01:48,080 - Permission to speak, sir. - Yes? - I am not formed as other men, sir. 19 00:01:49,320 --> 00:01:56,560 - My foot's not the same as what's on that chart, sir. - Blimey, don't tell me they're webbed? 20 00:01:56,560 --> 00:02:05,400 - That'll do, Walker! How is your foot different, Jones? - I haven't got a meta... I've got a big toe. 21 00:02:06,520 --> 00:02:12,720 - Metatarsal is the medical term for toe, Jones. - Thank you very much, sir. 22 00:02:12,720 --> 00:02:17,280 First metatarsal, second, third, fourth and... 23 00:02:17,280 --> 00:02:23,000 The little piggy that went "wee-wee-wee" all the way home. 24 00:02:25,320 --> 00:02:31,200 - It's not really a laughing matter, Wilson. - Well... - Hold that for me. - Right. 25 00:02:31,200 --> 00:02:36,520 You see how perfect the line of the boot is. No pinching, no cramping. 26 00:02:36,520 --> 00:02:41,880 In contrast to that I'm going to show you something rather nasty. 27 00:02:43,600 --> 00:02:46,760 Show them your foot, Wilson. 28 00:02:46,760 --> 00:02:50,160 - Beg pardon? - Unroll your foot. 29 00:02:50,160 --> 00:02:55,240 - I don't quite... - Let them see the diagram. - Why didn't you say so? 30 00:02:57,680 --> 00:03:02,720 Now there you see what can happen in a badly fitting shoe. 31 00:03:02,720 --> 00:03:09,120 So I'm going to check your boots and see that they fit properly. Right. First one. 32 00:03:11,680 --> 00:03:18,040 Yes. That seems all RI...! All right. 33 00:03:18,040 --> 00:03:20,200 Pike. 34 00:03:20,200 --> 00:03:25,200 - Are my metatarsals fighting fit? - Yes, very good, Pike. 35 00:03:25,200 --> 00:03:32,400 - Very GOO...! Good indeed. - Are you all right, sir? - Yes, thank you, Sergeant. 36 00:03:35,640 --> 00:03:38,480 Godfrey...oh! 37 00:03:38,480 --> 00:03:43,400 Put your foot up, Godfrey. Higher than that. 38 00:03:43,400 --> 00:03:45,440 OHHH ! 39 00:03:46,440 --> 00:03:49,920 - Get me a chair. - Chair, Pike, please. 40 00:03:49,920 --> 00:03:55,520 - Neither of us is getting any younger, are we, sir? - Look to your front! 41 00:04:01,200 --> 00:04:07,320 - That chair's to put your foot on, Godfrey. - Oh, so sorry, sir. 42 00:04:11,640 --> 00:04:18,800 - Yes, that seems all right. That should carry you a good 20 miles. - Thank you for your confidence, sir. 43 00:04:18,800 --> 00:04:22,280 - Foot up, Walker. - My feet are fine. 44 00:04:22,280 --> 00:04:27,120 - Foot up! - I should know. I've had me feet for a long... - Do as you're told. 45 00:04:28,440 --> 00:04:34,000 You've got rather big feet. Never realised what big feet you had. 46 00:04:34,000 --> 00:04:39,080 - You know what they say. Big feet, big... - Big what? 47 00:04:39,080 --> 00:04:41,880 Just an expression. 48 00:04:42,520 --> 00:04:45,480 What's he talking about? 49 00:04:45,480 --> 00:04:48,240 WHISPERING 50 00:04:51,240 --> 00:04:53,400 Really? 51 00:04:56,400 --> 00:05:01,280 His nose looks absolutely normal to me. 52 00:05:06,800 --> 00:05:11,920 - Hello? Something strange here, Wilson. - Oh? - Very strange indeed. 53 00:05:17,040 --> 00:05:22,680 - What's the meaning of that? - More comfy. - Government property, ruined! 54 00:05:22,680 --> 00:05:30,800 - They're not the ones I was issued with. I've got 200 pairs in the stores. - That'll do! See me after. 55 00:05:30,800 --> 00:05:37,360 - Corporal ? - Don't worry about my feet, sir. I've got pretty feet, very pretty feet. 56 00:05:37,360 --> 00:05:42,320 When I was in India, my feet was the talk of the cantonment. 57 00:05:42,320 --> 00:05:49,440 I was wandering one day through the bazaar down to the river when I noticed a young native woman. 58 00:05:49,440 --> 00:05:56,520 She was doing a spot of dhobi-ing. I whipped off my socks and boots to wash my feet. 59 00:05:56,520 --> 00:06:04,520 I heard her murmuring, "Sunda bahar, sunda bahar!" That means, "You have got pretty feet!" 60 00:06:04,520 --> 00:06:10,760 Do you know, I noticed one thing about that young woman. Stripped to the waist she was! 61 00:06:10,760 --> 00:06:16,800 - They do a lot of that... - All right! They seem in tip-top condition. 62 00:06:16,800 --> 00:06:20,960 - Yes, I always bathe them in tea. - In tea? 63 00:06:20,960 --> 00:06:26,480 - What a good idea! Indian or China? - Don't be insolent, Godfrey! 64 00:06:28,600 --> 00:06:33,880 Right. We've got work to do to get our feet up to scratch. 65 00:06:33,880 --> 00:06:40,560 So starting from next weekend, we'll do a series of long route-marches. 66 00:06:40,560 --> 00:06:44,840 # Boots, boots, boots, boots, Moving up and down again, 67 00:06:44,840 --> 00:06:49,040 # There's no discharge in the war. 68 00:06:49,040 --> 00:06:55,800 # Seven, six, eleven, five, Nine and twenty miles a day, Four, eleven, seventeen... # 69 00:06:55,800 --> 00:07:01,200 Right, come on, quick as you can. Mark time in front. 70 00:07:01,200 --> 00:07:05,400 Go on, the rest of you, mark time in front! 71 00:07:05,400 --> 00:07:09,640 Right... Platoon, halt! 72 00:07:09,640 --> 00:07:16,120 Well done, men. Well done, indeed. That's five miles yesterday, seven miles today. 73 00:07:16,120 --> 00:07:21,280 Take off boots and prepare feet for inspection. Corporal Jones! 74 00:07:21,280 --> 00:07:28,520 - Sir. Ohh! - I'll inspect the men's feet in five minutes. Sergeant, come in the office. - Of course. 75 00:07:28,520 --> 00:07:31,880 Platoon, fall out! 76 00:07:36,680 --> 00:07:41,480 - Ohh...! - Good to get the weight off one's feet. 77 00:07:41,480 --> 00:07:48,440 - I asked you to come in here, Wilson, because... - Excuse me, sir. Could I sit down as well ? 78 00:07:48,440 --> 00:07:54,920 - Why? Aren't you feeling well ? - I feel fine, sir. Just a bit tired. 79 00:07:54,920 --> 00:08:01,200 - Didn't you sleep well ? - Not for the last two or three hours. 80 00:08:01,200 --> 00:08:06,240 - Sit down if you must. - Thank you, sir, thank you very much. 81 00:08:06,240 --> 00:08:10,640 - Very good of you, sir. - OK, Wilson. 82 00:08:10,640 --> 00:08:17,800 - You and I have a position to uphold. - Yes. - I think I'm a shrewd judge of character. - Of course, sir. 83 00:08:17,800 --> 00:08:26,720 I know your character pretty well. You're not the brash, extrovert type who's always shouting. 84 00:08:26,720 --> 00:08:33,080 - You handle the men quietly and subtly. - Thank you, sir. Yes. Thank you. 85 00:08:33,080 --> 00:08:38,280 I've also got the feeling you're a shy and sensitive man. 86 00:08:38,280 --> 00:08:46,760 - I never do anything to embarrass you in front of the men, or show you up. - Thank you very much. 87 00:08:46,760 --> 00:08:54,240 And so I'm not going to ask you to have your feet inspected with the rest of the men. 88 00:08:54,240 --> 00:08:57,280 That's very kind of you, sir. 89 00:08:57,280 --> 00:09:04,040 So before we go and inspect the men's feet, I'll look at yours here. 90 00:09:04,040 --> 00:09:10,680 You don't have to inspect my feet, sir. They're perfectly all right. 91 00:09:10,680 --> 00:09:18,360 - I've no doubt they are. But I have to be sure, haven't I ? - Of course. Yes. - Take off your boots. 92 00:09:18,360 --> 00:09:20,080 We... 93 00:09:20,960 --> 00:09:24,680 Oh, come on, Wilson! It's only me. 94 00:09:28,000 --> 00:09:35,480 - Now, look. - Yes. - We can't have one rule for some, and another rule for others. 95 00:09:35,480 --> 00:09:41,560 Yes, quite. In that case, who is going to inspect YOUR feet, sir? 96 00:09:42,520 --> 00:09:45,000 Ahem... Yes... 97 00:09:45,000 --> 00:09:47,840 I see your point. 98 00:09:47,840 --> 00:09:50,520 Look here. 99 00:09:51,880 --> 00:09:54,480 If you show me yours, I'll show you mine. 100 00:09:57,520 --> 00:10:00,240 All right. 101 00:10:03,400 --> 00:10:10,000 - COMPLAINING LOUDLY - Don't make a fuss! It's Captain Mainwaring's orders. 102 00:10:10,000 --> 00:10:12,880 Jump to it, and I'll get him. 103 00:10:14,360 --> 00:10:17,360 Oh, sorry, Sarge! 104 00:10:18,480 --> 00:10:21,680 I didn't know it was private, sir. 105 00:10:25,800 --> 00:10:31,280 - The platoon's ready, sir. Ready for inspection. - Oh, right. 106 00:10:34,200 --> 00:10:41,680 We've got to grin and bear it. Foot-salve, 6d a time. None of that rubbish! 107 00:10:41,680 --> 00:10:46,720 You haven't tried it yet. Can I have some? 108 00:10:47,800 --> 00:10:54,600 Now, then. If you don't like it, you don't have to buy it. 109 00:10:57,240 --> 00:11:00,280 That's better already, isn't it? 110 00:11:00,280 --> 00:11:04,600 There you are. What about you, Taffy? 111 00:11:04,600 --> 00:11:10,840 Well... It's ever so soothing, Mr Fraser. Carry on, Joe. 112 00:11:10,840 --> 00:11:14,520 LAUGHING > You won't regret this. 113 00:11:14,520 --> 00:11:17,400 As long as I don't... 114 00:11:19,080 --> 00:11:22,080 As long as I don't have to pay. 115 00:11:22,080 --> 00:11:26,200 Don't worry. I bet that feels better. 116 00:11:26,200 --> 00:11:30,360 Yeah, not bad. Not bad, not bad at all. 117 00:11:32,160 --> 00:11:35,920 Right. Platoon...platoon... 118 00:11:35,920 --> 00:11:38,400 ..'shun! 119 00:11:39,480 --> 00:11:46,760 - Permission to speak, sir. - Yes. - I volunteer to be the first to have his feet inspected. - Very well. 120 00:11:46,760 --> 00:11:52,600 - Down you get. - Thank you, sir, thank you, sir. Right, sir. 121 00:11:52,600 --> 00:11:55,520 I'm prepared, sir. 122 00:11:59,360 --> 00:12:01,400 Ooo-aa-eee! 123 00:12:05,800 --> 00:12:10,320 - Very good reflexes, Corporal. - Thank you, sir. 124 00:12:11,360 --> 00:12:13,720 Yes, very good. 125 00:12:14,280 --> 00:12:17,280 One or two blisters there. 126 00:12:21,520 --> 00:12:25,280 INAUDIBLE 127 00:12:27,680 --> 00:12:30,840 Very good, yes, very good! 128 00:12:30,840 --> 00:12:33,880 Well, we've got a lot of work to do. 129 00:12:33,880 --> 00:12:38,560 As from tomorrow, we'll embark on feet-hardening. 130 00:12:38,560 --> 00:12:43,840 Some of us are not so young. We'll put a bold fa... 131 00:12:51,880 --> 00:12:54,040 WHISTLE 132 00:12:54,040 --> 00:13:01,080 # I came, I saw, I conga-ed, I came, I saw, I conga-ed, It's plain to see you conquered me. 133 00:13:01,080 --> 00:13:08,240 # Each time I shake a shoulder, I get a little bolder, A dance like this deserves a kiss. 134 00:13:08,240 --> 00:13:14,520 # My sweet muchacha, When I got-cha in my arms, 135 00:13:14,520 --> 00:13:20,960 # The Cuban cha-cha Adds so much-a to your charms, 136 00:13:20,960 --> 00:13:25,960 # The bongo speaks the rhythm, The bongo speaks the rhythm... # 137 00:13:25,960 --> 00:13:28,240 Get set... 138 00:13:28,240 --> 00:13:33,280 # I came, I saw, I conga-ed, I came, I saw, I conga-ed, 139 00:13:33,280 --> 00:13:37,320 # I - I conga-ed, I - I conga-ed... # 140 00:13:37,320 --> 00:13:40,520 Platoon, 'shun! 141 00:13:40,520 --> 00:13:45,400 Slope arms! 142 00:13:45,400 --> 00:13:51,560 By the left, quick march! Left...left...left, right, left! 143 00:13:51,560 --> 00:13:57,240 Pick those feet up! Pick them up! About...TURN ! 144 00:14:04,000 --> 00:14:08,120 - Left, right, left, right... - Having a nice paddle? 145 00:14:09,120 --> 00:14:12,040 Ignore him, men. 146 00:14:12,040 --> 00:14:17,480 If the Nazis invade now, you can meet 'em half-way! 147 00:14:17,480 --> 00:14:20,920 Left...left...left, right, left! 148 00:14:22,800 --> 00:14:25,920 Watch out for the great big... 149 00:14:26,960 --> 00:14:29,440 That's it! 150 00:14:40,680 --> 00:14:47,240 # If I had a talking picture of you... 151 00:14:48,400 --> 00:14:53,840 # I would run it every time I felt blue... # 152 00:14:55,200 --> 00:15:02,360 "Left...left...left, right, left! Left...left...left, right, left! 153 00:15:02,360 --> 00:15:06,560 - "Left...left..." - Mum! - "Left, right, left! 154 00:15:06,560 --> 00:15:10,600 - "Left...left...left, right, left!" - Mu-um! 155 00:15:10,600 --> 00:15:17,160 - "Left...left...left, right, left!" - Mu-um! - "Left...left..." - Mu-um! - "Left, right, left!" 156 00:15:17,160 --> 00:15:21,400 - "LEFT, RIGHT, LEFT !" - AAAARGH ! 157 00:15:23,120 --> 00:15:26,240 MUM ! MU-UM ! 158 00:15:28,280 --> 00:15:31,360 Frank, what on earth's the matter? 159 00:15:31,360 --> 00:15:36,720 Look - me feet! Nothing wrong with your feet. 160 00:15:40,520 --> 00:15:44,640 I-I was having a nightmare, Mum. Ohh...! 161 00:15:45,760 --> 00:15:52,000 I dreamt we were marching, and me feet were all swollen. Oh, never mind. 162 00:15:52,000 --> 00:15:56,120 It's all over now. You can go back to sleep. 163 00:15:56,120 --> 00:16:00,280 It's all that marching you've been doing. 164 00:16:00,280 --> 00:16:06,520 I'll speak to Captain Mainwaring tomorrow. He's making our feet tough. 165 00:16:06,520 --> 00:16:13,680 Your feet won't stand it. You've had sensitive feet ever since you were a child. 166 00:16:13,680 --> 00:16:20,240 Runs in the family. Your Uncle George had such sensitive feet he didn't know where to put 'em! 167 00:16:20,240 --> 00:16:26,280 Would you like a hot drink? No, thanks, Mum. All right, then. 168 00:16:32,920 --> 00:16:35,000 MU-UM ! 169 00:16:36,400 --> 00:16:38,200 Frank? 170 00:16:38,200 --> 00:16:43,160 Goodnight. 'Night, Frank. 171 00:16:48,000 --> 00:16:50,040 MU-UM ! 172 00:16:52,320 --> 00:16:53,840 Frank? 173 00:16:53,840 --> 00:16:56,840 Can I have a drink of water, please? 174 00:16:56,840 --> 00:17:00,880 All right, Frank. I'll leave the light on. 175 00:17:05,080 --> 00:17:07,120 MU-UM ! 176 00:17:09,400 --> 00:17:11,680 Frank !? 177 00:17:11,680 --> 00:17:17,080 Kitchen water, not bathroom water. All right, Frank (!) 178 00:17:17,080 --> 00:17:21,000 # You don't have to tell me, I know... # 179 00:17:21,000 --> 00:17:25,520 Oh, blimey! Another route-march on Sunday. 180 00:17:25,520 --> 00:17:32,120 - Twenty miles? Ridiculous! - It'll kill us, you know. - I can't take any more. 181 00:17:32,120 --> 00:17:35,440 I'll have this out with the captain. 182 00:17:35,440 --> 00:17:41,400 Mum, I feel such a fool ! I can't help that. Evening! 183 00:17:41,640 --> 00:17:47,800 - Hello, Mavis. - I want to speak to the captain. - He's not here. - Have you seen Frank's feet? 184 00:17:47,800 --> 00:17:53,120 - Not recently. - They're in a state! He woke up screaming in the night. 185 00:17:53,120 --> 00:17:58,400 - I didn't hear him. - (Arthur!) - Sorry. 186 00:18:04,400 --> 00:18:10,600 Mum, Uncle Arthur lives miles away. How could he hear me in the night? 187 00:18:11,960 --> 00:18:15,040 Never you mind! Stand over there! 188 00:18:15,640 --> 00:18:22,960 - Listen, Arthur. - Yes? - Tell the captain Frank's not going on any more marches. - I can't do that. 189 00:18:22,960 --> 00:18:31,080 Well, if you don't, and Frank wakes up in the night again... (you won't be there to hear it!) 190 00:18:31,080 --> 00:18:33,720 DOOR SLAMS 191 00:18:40,080 --> 00:18:45,360 - Uncle Arthur. - Yes? - I've got an idea. - I'm delighted (!) 192 00:18:45,720 --> 00:18:53,600 - If Mr Mainwaring's feet hurt... - Yes? - ..he can't go on the route march. - No, he wouldn't be able to. 193 00:18:53,600 --> 00:18:59,680 We get boots like Mr Mainwaring's, only a size smaller, and swap them over. 194 00:18:59,680 --> 00:19:07,080 What a good idea! Very clever indeed! I bet nobody has EVER thought of an idea like that! 195 00:19:07,080 --> 00:19:13,600 All we do is get boots the same as Mr Mainwaring's only smaller, and swap them over. 196 00:19:13,600 --> 00:19:19,640 - No, he'd tumble it. - If we make 'em look worn, he'll never know the difference. 197 00:19:19,640 --> 00:19:23,680 Awfully clever! I bet no-one's EVER thought of an idea like that. 198 00:19:23,680 --> 00:19:30,480 # Sand in my shoes... Sand from Havana... # 199 00:19:32,000 --> 00:19:35,680 Hey! Listen, let me do the talking. 200 00:19:35,680 --> 00:19:43,160 Charlie, when I give you a signal, say you want a glass of water. Water? All right. 201 00:19:43,160 --> 00:19:46,720 This is going to cost us a fortune. 202 00:19:46,720 --> 00:19:51,080 Good afternoon, gentlemen. My friend wants brown boots. 203 00:19:51,080 --> 00:19:58,720 Not black boots? Brown boots are for officers. He's going to be an officer. 204 00:19:58,720 --> 00:20:05,280 - Yes, I'm going to be an officer. - You've got experience! What size? 205 00:20:05,280 --> 00:20:09,440 I shall probably be a big officer. 206 00:20:09,440 --> 00:20:17,200 - What size of BOOTS, you fool ! - I'd like size eight, please. Thank you. - Mr Mainwaring gets his boots here? 207 00:20:17,200 --> 00:20:22,160 - That's right. He'd like a pair like his. - Yes, like Mr Mainwaring's. 208 00:20:22,160 --> 00:20:28,440 Very well. How much is this going to cost? 36 shillings the pair. 209 00:20:28,440 --> 00:20:33,920 Nine shillings each !? Induce him to find something cheaper. 210 00:20:33,920 --> 00:20:36,960 There we are. 211 00:20:37,800 --> 00:20:44,120 You don't look well, Mr Godfrey. You'd better sit down. He's a bit pale. 212 00:20:44,120 --> 00:20:48,400 - Could I have a glass of water? - A glass of water? 213 00:20:48,400 --> 00:20:52,800 Yes, yes, I'll get one. Oh, thank you. 214 00:20:52,800 --> 00:20:58,120 - (Quick! Swap these for a half-size smaller than Mr Mainwaring's.) - Right. 215 00:21:00,680 --> 00:21:03,360 Hold it! 216 00:21:03,360 --> 00:21:06,040 All right, all right. 217 00:21:13,040 --> 00:21:19,560 - I've forgotten. What size DOES he take? - Size... Blimey! D'you know, Taffy? 218 00:21:19,560 --> 00:21:22,760 How should I know? Charlie? What? 219 00:21:22,760 --> 00:21:27,960 Never mind! When he brings water, drink it fast and ask for another. 220 00:21:28,920 --> 00:21:33,640 There you are, sir. I'm sorry you're not feeling well. 221 00:21:33,640 --> 00:21:36,880 Oh...thank you. 222 00:21:39,840 --> 00:21:44,680 That wisnae enough, Godfrey! Could I have another one? 223 00:21:44,680 --> 00:21:47,360 Oh! Certainly. 224 00:21:48,880 --> 00:21:55,480 - (Well done, Charlie!) - You didn't ask the size of Mr Mainwaring's boots. - I didn't have time. 225 00:21:55,480 --> 00:22:02,000 When he brings the glass, drink it and ask for another. I couldn't drink another. 226 00:22:02,000 --> 00:22:08,200 Force yourself! And YOU ask the size of Mr Mainwaring's boots. Right, Joe. 227 00:22:08,200 --> 00:22:12,200 I thought I'd bring plenty. 228 00:22:18,200 --> 00:22:21,840 Er...he'd like another one. 229 00:22:21,840 --> 00:22:26,760 I'll help you. By the way... 230 00:22:26,760 --> 00:22:33,600 What size of boots does Mr Mainwaring take? Very small - 6½. 231 00:22:33,600 --> 00:22:36,680 Why? He'd like some more. 232 00:22:36,680 --> 00:22:40,080 Careful, you're spilling it! 233 00:22:40,080 --> 00:22:45,760 Joe, you're dicing with death, filling the man up like this! 234 00:22:45,760 --> 00:22:50,000 - I-I...that's enough, thank you. Jonesie! - What? 235 00:22:50,000 --> 00:22:58,840 - Like a drop of water? - Oh, yes. Thanks very much. Used to work in the Sudan. Can't get enough water. 236 00:22:58,840 --> 00:23:05,080 When he was in the Sudan, he nearly died of thirst. Oh, dear! 237 00:23:05,080 --> 00:23:10,480 I nearly died of thirst in the Sudan, nearly died of it. 238 00:23:10,480 --> 00:23:17,280 They've finished it! Seeing them drinking has made me thirsty. Any more? 239 00:23:17,280 --> 00:23:19,520 Good! 240 00:23:19,520 --> 00:23:23,720 < Swap these for a size six. < Six, six! 241 00:23:23,720 --> 00:23:28,520 - Come on, Jonesie! - Don't panic! 242 00:23:28,520 --> 00:23:33,240 Size six. I know, I know. Wait a minute... 243 00:23:36,640 --> 00:23:41,240 Did you get size six? > I think you ought to... 244 00:23:45,960 --> 00:23:50,600 - Here you are. - Well done! 245 00:23:50,600 --> 00:23:53,520 Well...! 246 00:23:55,480 --> 00:24:01,240 Wh-what's happened? We thought we saw a mouse. 247 00:24:02,800 --> 00:24:06,560 More of a mouse than anything. 248 00:24:06,560 --> 00:24:14,160 Right, we'll take these. Doesn't he want to try them on? No, he's sensitive about his toes. 249 00:24:14,160 --> 00:24:22,640 - Why's that? He had them tortured in the Sudan. - Yes, terrible toe-torturers! 250 00:24:22,640 --> 00:24:25,920 Right, pay the man, Taffy. Jonesie... 251 00:24:25,920 --> 00:24:34,960 Give him his 36 bob. 36 shillings for a pair of boots is highway robbery! 252 00:24:34,960 --> 00:24:40,200 Thank you. Bye! Wait! What about coupons? 253 00:24:40,200 --> 00:24:48,200 Blimey! Hang on! How many? Where did you get all those ?! I've got a big family. 254 00:24:48,200 --> 00:24:53,560 Before we go, could I be excused a moment? 255 00:24:54,840 --> 00:24:57,520 No time, no time! 256 00:25:01,280 --> 00:25:05,960 That's funny, I've never seen any mice in here. 257 00:25:05,960 --> 00:25:10,160 # Sand in my shoes, Sand from Havana... # 258 00:25:12,280 --> 00:25:20,480 - Oh! Good afternoon, gentlemen. - Afternoon. I'd like to get a pair of brown boots for this young man. 259 00:25:20,480 --> 00:25:24,840 - Brown, eh? Is he going to be an officer as well ? - What? 260 00:25:24,840 --> 00:25:32,640 - Only officers wear brown boots. - Yes. That's right, yes. He's going to be an officer as well. 261 00:25:32,640 --> 00:25:39,360 - Bit young for an officer. - He's frightfully keen. - You're a proud father! 262 00:25:39,360 --> 00:25:45,840 - I don't follow you. - Your son, becoming an officer. - Well, he's...er, he's... 263 00:25:46,800 --> 00:25:52,080 - He's not my son, you see. - I could have sworn there was... 264 00:25:52,080 --> 00:26:00,400 - Would you mind going away and getting the boots? - Sorry! What size does the young man take? 265 00:26:00,400 --> 00:26:03,520 - What size, hm? What? - Nines. 266 00:26:03,520 --> 00:26:06,000 - Nine. - Please. 267 00:26:06,800 --> 00:26:12,840 I want the same sort as Mr Mainwaring. Don't they all (?) 268 00:26:12,840 --> 00:26:16,280 - There you are. - Oh, dear! Oh, dear! 269 00:26:20,240 --> 00:26:23,960 Will one glass be sufficient? 270 00:26:23,960 --> 00:26:25,960 What? 271 00:26:25,960 --> 00:26:33,000 - Water. You're feeling faint. - Very clever! How did you guess? - I'll get you one. - Right. 272 00:26:33,000 --> 00:26:39,800 Frank, quick as you can. Change these into a size six, please. Hurry! 273 00:26:44,000 --> 00:26:51,200 - There's no sixes here, Uncle. - What? Try higher up. Go on! Don't make such a noise. 274 00:26:51,200 --> 00:26:53,840 Quick as you can. 275 00:26:55,000 --> 00:26:57,560 Come on, Frank! 276 00:26:57,560 --> 00:27:01,600 Seven...eight... ten...eight... 277 00:27:01,600 --> 00:27:04,360 There's no sixes, Uncle! 278 00:27:04,360 --> 00:27:07,040 Try higher up, then. 279 00:27:07,040 --> 00:27:14,160 Mum'll have a fit when she finds out you sent me up so high. I get terrible verdigris! 280 00:27:15,600 --> 00:27:22,760 All right, Frank, all right! That's enough! I think I've got a size six here. Come down now. 281 00:27:22,760 --> 00:27:28,120 - You nearly did me a very nasty injury. - Sorry! - Come and sit down. 282 00:27:30,880 --> 00:27:34,360 - Oh. There! - Thank you so much. 283 00:27:34,360 --> 00:27:41,120 - We saw a mouse, you know. - It's all right, I brought the cat. 284 00:27:41,120 --> 00:27:48,880 - That's a good job, anyway. - What? - Good job Mrs Mainwaring makes him sleep in the air-raid shelter. 285 00:27:48,880 --> 00:27:54,360 - Made it easier for you to change the boots. - Nearly took me head off! 286 00:27:54,360 --> 00:27:59,120 - Did you change the boots, Uncle? - Keep your voice down. - Did you? - Yes. 287 00:27:59,120 --> 00:28:02,160 Morning, men. 288 00:28:03,880 --> 00:28:09,200 - Fall them in, Sergeant. I'm going to get the map. - Right, sir. 289 00:28:12,280 --> 00:28:14,880 Fall in, please! 290 00:28:14,880 --> 00:28:18,680 - KNOCKING - Come in. 291 00:28:20,920 --> 00:28:28,600 - Good morning, Mr Mainwaring. - Morning. - I've brought those boots you left for repair last week. - Thank you. 292 00:28:28,600 --> 00:28:37,920 - I thought you said I'd have to wait a month. - I found a bit of leather. YOU sent me all those customers. 293 00:28:37,920 --> 00:28:40,240 Really? 294 00:28:40,240 --> 00:28:45,240 I think I'll change into these. These are pinching me a bit. 295 00:28:45,240 --> 00:28:49,000 - I'll put them on your account. - Right. 296 00:28:49,000 --> 00:28:56,720 - I give him half a mile before he has to pack it up. - I'll give him a mile. 297 00:28:56,720 --> 00:29:01,320 - No, he'll never do a mile. - He will. - Ten bob? - You're on! 298 00:29:01,320 --> 00:29:04,040 That's better! 299 00:29:07,240 --> 00:29:11,040 Platoon, attention! 300 00:29:11,040 --> 00:29:16,080 Now, men, 20 miles is a long march, but if I can do it, so can you. 301 00:29:16,080 --> 00:29:24,440 - Permission to speak, sir? - Yes. - As long as you keep going, sir, we'll be right behind you. - Excellent! 302 00:29:24,440 --> 00:29:30,760 - Right! Platoon will move to the left in threes. Left turn! - THUD OF FEET > 303 00:29:30,760 --> 00:29:38,120 - Let's start off with a merry heart. Corporal Jones. - Sir! - Lead off in single file. 304 00:29:38,120 --> 00:29:43,280 With a merry heart, quick march! 305 00:30:30,280 --> 00:30:34,200 Subtitles by Red Bee Media