1 00:00:03,520 --> 00:00:07,280 # Who do you think you are kidding, Mr Hitler, 2 00:00:07,280 --> 00:00:11,680 # If you think we're on the run? 3 00:00:11,680 --> 00:00:16,960 # We are the boys who will stop your little game, 4 00:00:16,960 --> 00:00:22,040 # We are the boys who will make you think again. 5 00:00:22,040 --> 00:00:27,040 # Cos who do you think you are kidding, Mr Hitler, 6 00:00:27,040 --> 00:00:31,640 # If you think old England's done? 7 00:00:31,640 --> 00:00:36,560 # Mr Brown goes off to town on the 8.21, 8 00:00:36,560 --> 00:00:41,480 # But he comes home each evening and he's ready with his gun, 9 00:00:41,480 --> 00:00:46,480 # So who do you think you are kidding, Mr Hitler, 10 00:00:46,480 --> 00:00:50,160 # If you think old England's done? # 11 00:00:54,040 --> 00:01:01,320 Now, to wage war successfully, every commander in the field should put himself in the enemy's shoes 12 00:01:01,320 --> 00:01:05,200 and see the situation from that point of view. 13 00:01:05,200 --> 00:01:12,680 And so, I ask myself, if I were in Adolf's shoes, what would he be thinking? 14 00:01:12,680 --> 00:01:18,840 - He'd wonder why you had his shoes on! - Very amusing (!) 15 00:01:18,840 --> 00:01:23,800 He'd probably be thinking, "I wonder what they're up to!" 16 00:01:23,800 --> 00:01:30,880 Quite right. The only way for Hitler to find out is to come and have a look. 17 00:01:30,880 --> 00:01:36,920 That new Air Raid Warden in Gardenia Gardens looks like Herr Hitler! 18 00:01:36,920 --> 00:01:42,400 No, no, Pike. I don't think that Hitler would come personally. 19 00:01:42,400 --> 00:01:50,840 - Why not? Hess did. - He'd send a recce party in a submarine... Hess was entirely different! 20 00:01:53,120 --> 00:01:59,120 - Or send a swift, silent surface craft. - Canoes! - I beg your pardon? 21 00:01:59,120 --> 00:02:05,680 - Canoes! - These are Nazis, not Apache Indians! 22 00:02:05,680 --> 00:02:14,040 I thought Apaches were those rough French dancers. I never liked them much. 23 00:02:14,040 --> 00:02:19,080 They had a couple of them on the bill with Nellie Wallace! 24 00:02:19,080 --> 00:02:24,120 And he treated her with disdain and threw her at the trombone player. 25 00:02:24,120 --> 00:02:32,000 - She had very big thighs and long, black silk stockings... - Big thighs, you say? - Yes and... 26 00:02:32,000 --> 00:02:39,200 - All right! We're wandering from the point. - Let's get back in Hitler's shoes! 27 00:02:39,200 --> 00:02:44,320 The obvious place for a recce to land is in the estuary here. 28 00:02:44,320 --> 00:02:52,240 - We are to set up an observation post in the lighthouse here. - Sir, it's not being used any more. 29 00:02:52,240 --> 00:02:56,760 - Therefore, it is closed and not open. - They used it when yon convoy come through! 30 00:02:56,760 --> 00:03:05,040 Quite right, Frazer. They're happy for us to set up a guard post from time to time. 31 00:03:05,040 --> 00:03:14,000 Corporal Jones, your section will rendezvous at the Jolly Roger Ice Cream Parlour on the jetty. 32 00:03:14,000 --> 00:03:19,040 When the tide is low, you will cross the causeway here. 33 00:03:19,040 --> 00:03:23,400 - Once inside the lighthouse, open these sealed orders. - Thank you. 34 00:03:23,400 --> 00:03:29,840 - Just one question, sir. After I open the orders, what shall I do? - Read them very carefully! 35 00:03:29,840 --> 00:03:35,720 - That's all. Dismiss. - Come on, outside. Quick as you can. 36 00:03:35,720 --> 00:03:40,760 I can't go tonight, sir. I'm delivering essential supplies. 37 00:03:40,760 --> 00:03:48,720 - I've heard this before, Walker. - No, this is vital. For the nurses. - Not elastic again, is it? 38 00:03:48,720 --> 00:03:56,520 - No, hairpins. - Oh, really, Walker! - Straight up. Their hair keeps falling into the operations. 39 00:03:56,520 --> 00:04:05,040 - I'll report here when I've finished. - This really won't do, Walker. - I might have your whisky for you. 40 00:04:05,040 --> 00:04:10,040 - Never mind that. Just get back here as soon as you can. - Right. 41 00:04:10,040 --> 00:04:17,080 - Oh, and Bert's fixed the Lewis gun. 15 bob, no questions asked. I'll bring it later. - Right. 42 00:04:17,080 --> 00:04:21,520 - And I'll bring that whisky! - Off you go! 43 00:04:24,760 --> 00:04:27,760 Rough diamond, isn't he? 44 00:04:27,760 --> 00:04:30,840 - Heart of gold, of course. - Yes. 45 00:04:30,840 --> 00:04:38,080 # When the lights go on again, All over the world... # 46 00:04:38,080 --> 00:04:42,560 Left, right. Left, right. Mark time! 47 00:04:42,560 --> 00:04:45,040 Open door! Forward! 48 00:04:45,040 --> 00:04:49,520 Left, right. Left, right. Left, right. 49 00:04:49,520 --> 00:04:54,440 Left, right. Left, right. Mark time! 50 00:04:54,440 --> 00:04:57,400 Squad...halt! 51 00:04:57,400 --> 00:05:02,960 Right turn! Stand at...ease! 52 00:05:02,960 --> 00:05:10,800 Right, I am now going to take out the sealed orders and, having taken them out, I'll unseal them. 53 00:05:10,800 --> 00:05:16,400 Then I will read them to you and you are going to pay attention. 54 00:05:16,400 --> 00:05:23,080 - Could I be excused? - No, you've got to wait. - It's a long way down. 55 00:05:23,080 --> 00:05:30,240 Here we are. "Orders for section on watch from the lighthouse. Commence at 2,000 hours." 56 00:05:30,240 --> 00:05:32,480 Twenty hundred hours. 57 00:05:32,480 --> 00:05:34,160 Silence! 58 00:05:35,800 --> 00:05:38,520 "Commence duty at twenty hundred hours. 59 00:05:38,520 --> 00:05:46,080 "You will keep a strict look-out for any Fifth Columnists or spies infiltrating up the estuary." 60 00:05:46,080 --> 00:05:50,920 - What'll we do if we see any? - You will tell me. 61 00:05:50,920 --> 00:05:59,040 I will tell Mister Mainwaring and he will tell his commander, and he will tell...somebody else. 62 00:06:00,320 --> 00:06:07,320 - Might I be excused now? - No. "Guards will not be relieved until 0800 hours." 63 00:06:09,440 --> 00:06:17,000 - Right, we'll revise platoon advance to contact... - Ah, I'm glad I caught you. And you. 64 00:06:17,000 --> 00:06:23,160 - We're very busy. - I've had serious reports from my warden. 65 00:06:23,160 --> 00:06:31,200 You've flashed lights from here more than at 17 Pembroke Gardens - and they were enemy aliens! 66 00:06:31,200 --> 00:06:36,240 - I can't accept that. - I'll have you up before the magistrate! 67 00:06:36,240 --> 00:06:43,640 - You have no authority over the military. - Military (?) You can't strut like Lord Muck! 68 00:06:43,640 --> 00:06:50,720 - I'm in charge of this sector and I am warning you...! - Put that finger down and get out of my headquarters. 69 00:06:50,720 --> 00:06:58,840 I'm going, but you've had your last warning. One more flash and a policeman will feel your collar! 70 00:07:04,520 --> 00:07:11,680 - Corporal Jones? - What? - Do you think Mr Godfrey's all right? He's been gone a long time. 71 00:07:11,680 --> 00:07:19,200 - Of course. There's a lot of steps in a lighthouse. - He's been gone nearly 15 minutes already! 72 00:07:19,200 --> 00:07:26,560 - When he's halfway up, he'll have to go down again! - Why don't you see how he's getting on? 73 00:07:29,080 --> 00:07:36,360 Hold on. Did you lock and bar the door to the rock when you came up? 74 00:07:36,360 --> 00:07:44,560 - No. I think I left it open. - Oh, then wild horses wouldn't drag me down there before dawn. 75 00:07:44,560 --> 00:07:48,040 Why not, Mr Frazer? 76 00:07:48,040 --> 00:07:51,040 Sit down, son. I'll tell you. 77 00:07:51,040 --> 00:07:56,480 It's something that happened to my old school friend, Willy Reagan. 78 00:07:56,480 --> 00:08:01,520 He was keeper of the light on the Fairloch Rock. 79 00:08:01,520 --> 00:08:07,640 A wild, lonely, storm-racked cliff it is, I tell ye. 80 00:08:07,640 --> 00:08:16,320 And many a tall ship has gone to its cold, watery grave, pounding on those granite boulders. 81 00:08:16,320 --> 00:08:25,600 One night, just like this, when the wind was wailing mournfully in the rigging... 82 00:08:25,600 --> 00:08:30,560 - Mr Frazer, lighthouses don't have rigging. - This one did. 83 00:08:30,560 --> 00:08:35,720 Willy started down the stairs to get a new wick for the lamp. 84 00:08:35,720 --> 00:08:40,560 Near the bottom, something made him stop. 85 00:08:40,560 --> 00:08:46,720 Below, in the gloom, he could hear a low, painful moan... 86 00:08:46,720 --> 00:08:53,360 And a slithering. Something was moving in the dark. 87 00:08:53,360 --> 00:08:56,480 Willy started back upstairs. 88 00:08:56,480 --> 00:09:01,240 Twenty steps up, he stopped and turned. 89 00:09:01,240 --> 00:09:08,040 He could see nothing, but the dark was darker, and the moan was louder 90 00:09:08,040 --> 00:09:12,840 and the slithering was coming nearer and nearer! 91 00:09:12,840 --> 00:09:16,960 Willy scrambled up the stairs, up and up he went, 92 00:09:16,960 --> 00:09:25,600 higher and higher, until his lungs were gasping and his heart was thumping! 93 00:09:25,600 --> 00:09:30,240 He daren't stop, because he knew the thing was behind him! 94 00:09:30,240 --> 00:09:35,800 At last he reached the top and flung himself into the lamphouse! 95 00:09:35,800 --> 00:09:39,000 He threw himself against the door! 96 00:09:39,000 --> 00:09:42,920 Holding his breath, he listened... 97 00:09:42,920 --> 00:09:45,280 AAAAAAGGHHH ! 98 00:09:45,280 --> 00:09:50,640 There it was...unmistakeable! 99 00:09:50,640 --> 00:09:54,960 The thing was on the other side! 100 00:09:54,960 --> 00:10:00,360 Trying to get in! Trying to get in! 101 00:10:00,360 --> 00:10:01,920 KNOCKING 102 00:10:01,920 --> 00:10:03,440 - Aaaaah! - Aaaaah! - Aaaaah! 103 00:10:03,440 --> 00:10:09,960 - It can't get in! It can't get in! - Wheesht! Quiet! And listen... 104 00:10:09,960 --> 00:10:14,800 - Would somebody open the door? > - It's Godfrey! 105 00:10:23,640 --> 00:10:30,520 - Hello. I was going to leave you a note. - Anything important? 106 00:10:30,520 --> 00:10:37,920 There's been a blitz on blackouts. Area HQ have sent a note down to me. 107 00:10:37,920 --> 00:10:44,120 - We don't have much bother here. 'Ere, fancy a cup? - Yes. Watch the blackouts, won't you? - Yeah. 108 00:10:44,120 --> 00:10:46,040 Two lumps, please. 109 00:10:46,040 --> 00:10:49,320 - Mr Jones? - Yeah? 110 00:10:49,320 --> 00:10:55,040 If we do go downstairs, we won't see Willy's slithery thing, will we? 111 00:10:55,040 --> 00:10:58,040 No, of course we won't. 112 00:10:58,040 --> 00:11:03,240 - I'm going to stay up here. Aren't you? - Yeah, as long as possible. 113 00:11:03,240 --> 00:11:08,360 - If we go, we go together. - That'll be nice. - Yeah. 114 00:11:08,360 --> 00:11:14,400 We can take a rifle, and if we see the slithery thing we can shoot it. 115 00:11:14,400 --> 00:11:22,000 - We'll fix bayonets. - Yeah. Slithery things won't like it up 'em any more than fuzzy-wuzzies. 116 00:11:22,000 --> 00:11:25,640 No, you can't beat the old steel. 117 00:11:25,640 --> 00:11:30,520 - I wish Uncle Arthur was with us. Don't you? - No. 118 00:11:30,520 --> 00:11:33,400 I wish we was with him. 119 00:11:33,400 --> 00:11:36,400 < I say... 120 00:11:36,400 --> 00:11:40,720 AAAAAAAAH ! Oh, sorry, Mr Godfrey. 121 00:11:40,720 --> 00:11:46,680 I just wondered, if we saw spies, how could we tell Captain Mainwaring? 122 00:11:46,680 --> 00:11:53,960 - We'll have to use our initiative. - Failing that, there's a telephone on the wall. 123 00:11:53,960 --> 00:11:59,880 Yes, we'll use our initiative... and that telephone on the wall. 124 00:11:59,880 --> 00:12:07,400 - Is it working? - I don't know. We'll have to try it. That's our best thing. We'll try it. Yes. 125 00:12:07,400 --> 00:12:10,440 We'll try it. 126 00:12:13,360 --> 00:12:17,520 Hello? Jones the butcher here. 127 00:12:17,520 --> 00:12:23,720 - Hello? ..It's dead. - Dead? - Then we're cut off! 128 00:12:23,720 --> 00:12:28,880 - Keep calm! We're cut off! Keep calm! - It's the slithery thing! 129 00:12:28,880 --> 00:12:35,960 - Of course it isnae! - Perhaps they haven't paid the bill. - Lighthouses don't get bills! 130 00:12:35,960 --> 00:12:42,720 We forgot to pay the bill and were cut off once, but so few people ring us, we didn't know for two weeks... 131 00:12:42,720 --> 00:12:45,720 - There's a light switch... - Don't touch that! 132 00:12:45,720 --> 00:12:54,120 - We're not blacked-out. - We can do it just long enough for a quick peek. - Yeah, all right, then. Here we go. 133 00:12:54,120 --> 00:12:57,200 The electricity's cut off! 134 00:12:57,200 --> 00:13:00,280 - It's the slithery thing! - Shut up! 135 00:13:00,280 --> 00:13:05,320 Wait a minute! Wait a minute! I'll do the mains switch. 136 00:13:06,640 --> 00:13:09,680 POWER SURGES 137 00:13:09,680 --> 00:13:13,880 THAT'S the slithery thing! 138 00:13:13,880 --> 00:13:16,640 I feel a little frightened. 139 00:13:16,640 --> 00:13:22,360 - Hey, look! - It was nae slithery thing! 140 00:13:22,360 --> 00:13:25,400 It was the generator! 141 00:13:25,400 --> 00:13:30,600 It's all right, men. It's only the generator. 142 00:13:30,600 --> 00:13:33,280 Only the... 143 00:13:33,280 --> 00:13:38,720 - OH! Blimey! - Anyway, you can read the instructions all right now. 144 00:13:38,720 --> 00:13:44,480 - What about the blackout? - Turn it off quick! - Yeah, I better turn it off. 145 00:13:44,480 --> 00:13:48,040 Right, I'm now going to turn it off. 146 00:13:48,040 --> 00:13:55,680 - They'd a time switch in "The Phantom Light" with Gordon Harker. - It's lighting up the whole coast! 147 00:13:55,680 --> 00:13:58,600 You've got to act, man! 148 00:13:58,600 --> 00:14:01,640 That's right. A bit of action, yes. 149 00:14:01,640 --> 00:14:08,680 Pikey, you look for switches and Frazer and I will do... something else. 150 00:14:08,680 --> 00:14:16,120 - I know - we'll fix bayonets! - Fix bayonets. You're not going to charge the damn thing, are you? 151 00:14:16,120 --> 00:14:20,520 Look, Frazer. I'm in command. You fix bayonets. 152 00:14:20,520 --> 00:14:29,440 My sister broke a 40-Watt bulb once and it made an awful bang. That could blow us all into the sea! 153 00:14:29,440 --> 00:14:32,560 Godfrey, you give me your blanket, come on. 154 00:14:32,560 --> 00:14:39,760 We'll fix one corner to my bayonet and fix the other corner to Frazer's bayonet. Right? 155 00:14:39,760 --> 00:14:43,680 - Put it on the top there. - Right. 156 00:14:43,680 --> 00:14:46,880 Ready? Lift it up and follow me. 157 00:14:46,880 --> 00:14:49,920 Wait for the light... Here we go! 158 00:14:49,920 --> 00:14:53,320 Left, right. Left, right... 159 00:14:58,280 --> 00:15:03,440 - Well, that's cleared up the bumph for the time being. - Ah, good. 160 00:15:03,440 --> 00:15:12,120 - These brass hats from the War Office certainly like their red tape. - They certainly do, sir. Yes. 161 00:15:12,120 --> 00:15:18,440 - Makes it hard for the front-line troops. - Yes. I'll have an early night, sir. 162 00:15:18,440 --> 00:15:20,920 - Yes, why not? - All right. 163 00:15:22,680 --> 00:15:25,720 What are you doing, Wilson? 164 00:15:25,720 --> 00:15:30,040 - Good heavens. That's funny. - Well, I don't find it very funny. Switch the light on! 165 00:15:30,040 --> 00:15:37,320 Come out here a minute, sir. Come on. Look. What do you make of that? 166 00:15:37,320 --> 00:15:42,360 - Over there. - It's only the lighthouse. There's probably a special convoy going through. 167 00:15:42,360 --> 00:15:45,400 Good heavens! Jones's section! 168 00:15:45,400 --> 00:15:49,880 Could someone be meddling with something that doesn't concern them? 169 00:15:49,880 --> 00:15:54,120 - Let's get to the harbour at once, Wilson! - All right, sir. 170 00:15:55,640 --> 00:16:00,960 - That was a good cup of tea. - That fella Walker got us it. 171 00:16:00,960 --> 00:16:03,960 Walker? I wouldn't have touched it if I'd known! 172 00:16:03,960 --> 00:16:10,800 - Well, since the Luftwaffe haven't come, I'm off home. - 'Night. 173 00:16:17,920 --> 00:16:21,560 Mr Alberts... Mr Alberts? 174 00:16:24,200 --> 00:16:29,400 - I wasn't notified of this. - I saw the Home Guard going out. 175 00:16:29,400 --> 00:16:37,320 - Not Mainwaring's mob? - That old Lance Corporal. - Ruddy hooligans! Put that ruddy light out! 176 00:16:37,320 --> 00:16:42,120 - They can't hear you. - I'll make 'em hear me. PUT THAT LIGHT OUT! 177 00:16:42,120 --> 00:16:46,680 - I'll get 'em! I'll get 'em on the phone... - Don't worry. 178 00:16:46,680 --> 00:16:49,720 PUT THAT LIGHT OUT!!! 179 00:16:56,360 --> 00:17:01,000 I don't think I can keep this up much longer! 180 00:17:01,000 --> 00:17:05,160 - Righto, Frazer, stand by next time round. - Right! 181 00:17:05,160 --> 00:17:09,560 - It's like the bloody Olympics! - Come on! Come on! 182 00:17:09,560 --> 00:17:14,000 Left, right! Left, right! Pick 'em up! Pick 'em up! 183 00:17:14,000 --> 00:17:17,480 Hold back! Hold back! 184 00:17:17,480 --> 00:17:23,000 What's your game, Frazer? When I say, "Left, right, pick 'em up," I mean... 185 00:17:23,000 --> 00:17:27,000 Well, it's stuck now, look at this. 186 00:17:27,000 --> 00:17:34,480 - You've clogged the cogs. - Anyway, we don't have to go on running round like squirrels in a cage. 187 00:17:34,480 --> 00:17:38,560 Doesn't Walmington look pretty all lit up? 188 00:17:38,560 --> 00:17:42,800 Blimey! It's stuck right across the town! 189 00:17:42,800 --> 00:17:46,400 It's a good job the siren hasn't gone, isn't it? 190 00:17:46,400 --> 00:17:52,400 SIREN STARTS 191 00:17:52,400 --> 00:17:57,360 I don't think Mr Mainwaring is going to be very pleased with us. 192 00:17:57,360 --> 00:18:01,160 SIREN CONTINUES 193 00:18:02,520 --> 00:18:07,680 Well, seems to have stopped going round and round, sir. 194 00:18:07,680 --> 00:18:15,120 - This is damn serious, Wilson. - Yes. - We're a sitting target for every Jerry plane within 50 miles! 195 00:18:15,120 --> 00:18:18,240 That fool Mainwaring isn't even in his headquarters! Look! 196 00:18:18,240 --> 00:18:23,400 Your lot have done that, the whole town lit up and now Jerry's arrived! 197 00:18:23,400 --> 00:18:28,440 - I'm well aware of the situation. - What are you going to do? 198 00:18:28,440 --> 00:18:33,480 - We must get out there at once. - But the tide's in. - Get a boat. 199 00:18:33,480 --> 00:18:36,160 You'll be dashed to pieces on the rocks! 200 00:18:36,160 --> 00:18:39,200 - Come on, Wilson. - All right, sir. - Get a lifebelt. 201 00:18:39,200 --> 00:18:44,360 Let them do it! It serves them right! 202 00:18:44,360 --> 00:18:51,800 - There's no such word as "can't." If the spirit is willing, nothing can stop us! - There isn't a boat. - Ah(!) 203 00:18:51,800 --> 00:18:57,840 That is rather an obstacle. Well, we must find some other way. 204 00:18:57,840 --> 00:19:01,840 A pound to a penny he'll try and walk on the water! 205 00:19:01,840 --> 00:19:05,440 'Ere, this is a bit of a lark! Old Jones is up the creek without a paddle and no mistake. 206 00:19:05,440 --> 00:19:07,640 We've got to put that light out somehow. 207 00:19:07,640 --> 00:19:14,080 - Shoot it out! - What? - With the Lewis gun. - We can't. - You mean you couldn't hit it! 208 00:19:14,080 --> 00:19:16,200 I mean one of our men might get hit. 209 00:19:16,200 --> 00:19:20,120 Your men? What about the town, what about the women and children, all the bombs raining down? 210 00:19:20,120 --> 00:19:24,880 - The bombs aren't raining down. - No, but they will in a minute! 211 00:19:24,880 --> 00:19:29,320 - Give us that gun! - Take your hands off it! 212 00:19:29,320 --> 00:19:32,480 Oh, I'm having one of my turns! 213 00:19:32,480 --> 00:19:36,560 Come on, sit down, for heaven's sake, behave yourself and keep quiet. 214 00:19:36,560 --> 00:19:44,600 - I know a bloke at the power station who could black out the whole county. - Don't be ridiculous, Walker. 215 00:19:44,600 --> 00:19:50,600 - 'Ere, what about the transformer? - Walker, be sensible or keep quiet. 216 00:19:50,600 --> 00:19:57,200 I think that's very sensible. Lead on, Walker, and take this gun. 217 00:19:59,240 --> 00:20:07,240 Right, you lift that up nice and high and that will stop the light going over the town, won't it? 218 00:20:07,240 --> 00:20:10,480 - There. - That's quite good. 219 00:20:10,480 --> 00:20:15,800 It's a much softer light. The other was terribly hard. 220 00:20:15,800 --> 00:20:21,960 Mr Jones, there's steam coming out of the blanket. 221 00:20:21,960 --> 00:20:26,280 Well, It's probably a bit damp, you see. 222 00:20:26,280 --> 00:20:32,440 Yeah, but the steam should be white and that steam is black. 223 00:20:34,720 --> 00:20:38,600 The blanket's on fire! Don't panic! Don't panic! 224 00:20:38,600 --> 00:20:41,880 UPROAR 225 00:21:00,920 --> 00:21:08,040 Unfortunately, it seems to be locked. That's easy. Got a hairpin? 226 00:21:08,040 --> 00:21:15,200 - Am I likely to have a hairpin? - Don't you sell them? I'd have to open a new packet! 227 00:21:15,200 --> 00:21:21,720 - Here, use this paper-clip. - Would you turn the other way? Professional etiquette. Oh, heavens! 228 00:21:21,720 --> 00:21:26,160 Get on with it. Right. That's it. 229 00:21:29,360 --> 00:21:35,400 - All we need is the right switch. - There aren't many. Plenty of wires. 230 00:21:35,400 --> 00:21:38,480 Lend me your tin hat. 231 00:21:38,480 --> 00:21:44,120 - Please, please, sir. Don't overdo it. - Stand clear. 232 00:21:44,120 --> 00:21:47,120 Stand well clear. 233 00:21:48,080 --> 00:21:52,000 BANG! 234 00:21:52,000 --> 00:21:56,600 Now walk away slowly as though nothing had happened. 235 00:21:56,600 --> 00:22:02,280 - 'Ere, the lights have fused. - Pity that one hasn't. Get the hurricane lamps out. 236 00:22:02,280 --> 00:22:07,840 - Mr Jones, I think I've found another switch. - Well, switch it, Pikey boy, switch it! 237 00:22:07,840 --> 00:22:11,200 FOGHORN SOUNDS 238 00:22:14,280 --> 00:22:20,960 Blimey, if they can't see us, they'll hear us! I need a pill! 239 00:22:20,960 --> 00:22:23,960 Oh, cor blimey! It's Hutch! 240 00:22:23,960 --> 00:22:29,760 - Damn it! That light's still on. - Not in there, though! 241 00:22:29,760 --> 00:22:34,840 - Who flashed without my authority? - Who are you? - I'm the keeper. 242 00:22:34,840 --> 00:22:41,880 - They can't flash without my authority. - Can that be thing be turned off from here? - Of course not! 243 00:22:41,880 --> 00:22:44,920 - Why don't we use the telephone. - It's cut off. 244 00:22:44,920 --> 00:22:48,120 - Perhaps the exchange could reconnect it. - That's good thinking. 245 00:22:55,680 --> 00:23:03,200 - Hello? Hello? - I used to live there once, but the salt got into my lungs. 246 00:23:03,200 --> 00:23:06,400 I used to cough something awful. Terrible...it...wa... 247 00:23:06,400 --> 00:23:08,360 HE COUGHS 248 00:23:16,640 --> 00:23:22,800 Hello? Hello? Put me through to the supervisor, will you? 249 00:23:22,800 --> 00:23:26,680 I can't do that. She goes off at six. There's only me here. 250 00:23:26,680 --> 00:23:30,840 - Well then you'll have to deal with it. Listen very carefully. - Yes. 251 00:23:30,840 --> 00:23:35,960 - This is Captain Mainwaring of the Home Guard. - Yes. Who? 252 00:23:35,960 --> 00:23:41,120 Captain Mainwaring. M-A-I-N-W-A-R-I-N-G. 253 00:23:41,120 --> 00:23:46,160 - Do you want me to write that down? - No, no, no, just listen. - Yes, sir. I'm listening. 254 00:23:46,160 --> 00:23:54,800 - I'm speaking to you from the Jolly Roger Ice Cream Parlour. - That's been shut since the war. 255 00:23:54,800 --> 00:24:01,640 - I know it has! It's an ARP post. - Are you an Air Raid Warden as well? 256 00:24:01,640 --> 00:24:06,880 - Never mind that. Will you connect me to the lighthouse? - It's cut off. 257 00:24:06,880 --> 00:24:12,160 - I know. Can you reconnect me? - I can't do that! You'll have to talk to the supervisor! 258 00:24:12,160 --> 00:24:14,800 That's who I asked for in the first place. 259 00:24:14,800 --> 00:24:20,520 Oh, just a minute, there's an address here that takes messages for the lighthouse. 260 00:24:20,520 --> 00:24:27,520 - Ah, good, that's the ticket. Give it to me, will you? Wilson, get a pencil and put this down. - Right. 261 00:24:27,520 --> 00:24:32,040 It's the Jolly Roger Ice Cream Kiosk... 262 00:24:32,040 --> 00:24:37,800 - The Jolly Roger... - Yes, all right. - I'm speaking from there! 263 00:24:37,800 --> 00:24:40,720 Can't you give them the message, then? 264 00:24:40,720 --> 00:24:46,760 Hang on, sir. Give it to me, will you? ..Hello, Freda? 265 00:24:46,760 --> 00:24:53,680 - Who's that? - It's Joe. Joe Walker. - Oh! Hello, Joe! 266 00:24:53,680 --> 00:24:57,160 'Ere, listen, love, stick 73 into 21, will you? 267 00:24:57,160 --> 00:25:02,160 Oh, Joe, what are you up to now? 268 00:25:02,160 --> 00:25:04,840 All right, then, I'll do it for you. Hang on. 269 00:25:04,840 --> 00:25:11,880 - There you are, sir. - You seem very well-informed. - We ran brandy from France before the war in motor-boats. 270 00:25:11,880 --> 00:25:16,440 - I knew a bent coast guard who'd give us a tip-off when they were coming round the bay. - Really(?) 271 00:25:16,440 --> 00:25:19,680 - PHONE RINGS - Ah! - Telephone! 272 00:25:19,680 --> 00:25:28,040 - Jack Jones the butcher. - Corporal Jones? - Sir. - This is Captain Mainwaring. Listen very carefully. 273 00:25:28,040 --> 00:25:34,600 - This is how to turn off the light. - 'Right.' - You're to go down to the generator room. 274 00:25:34,600 --> 00:25:40,760 - Right. Go down to the generator room? Right, sir. - Corporal Jones? 275 00:25:40,760 --> 00:25:43,800 Just a minute. It's locked. 276 00:25:43,800 --> 00:25:46,840 - Do you know where the key is? - Yes. 277 00:25:46,840 --> 00:25:53,960 - Jones, I'm going to tell you where the key is. - It's here. - It's here... 278 00:25:56,800 --> 00:26:00,560 You'll have to break the door down and get into the generator room. 279 00:26:00,560 --> 00:26:05,360 Break the door down. Right, sir. I'll do that directly, sir. 280 00:26:05,360 --> 00:26:11,640 Now listen, men, we've to find the generator room and then find the door of it. 281 00:26:11,640 --> 00:26:16,760 We'll break that down, go into the generator room and stop it! 282 00:26:16,760 --> 00:26:24,960 - What about the slithery thing? - We'll stop that and all! Come on! You stay here, Mr Godfrey. 283 00:26:24,960 --> 00:26:30,800 PLANES OVERHEAD Listen! I can hear 'em! There's hundreds of them. 284 00:26:30,800 --> 00:26:36,080 - They're on their way somewhere else. - But when they see this, they'll change their minds, won't they? 285 00:26:36,080 --> 00:26:38,920 They won't have another chance like this in the whole war! 286 00:26:38,920 --> 00:26:45,960 - All right. Jones will put it out in a minute. - You'd better shoot it out now! They'll all be below. 287 00:26:45,960 --> 00:26:51,120 I'll hold off until the last possible minute. Give me the gun. 288 00:26:55,200 --> 00:26:59,080 Look, Mr Jones, I'm making a rabbit. 289 00:26:59,080 --> 00:27:04,080 It's the biggest one you ever saw. It's all over Walmington. 290 00:27:06,040 --> 00:27:09,840 They're practically overhead! For God's sake, shoot it out! 291 00:27:11,320 --> 00:27:17,320 Now I'm making a bird. It's going right up and down the High Street. 292 00:27:17,320 --> 00:27:20,600 Oh dear, what a pity no-one can see it. 293 00:27:20,600 --> 00:27:26,120 There's one caught in the searchlight! Shoot, you bloody fool, or it'll be murder! 294 00:27:26,120 --> 00:27:29,320 - Go on, sir! - All right. Here goes. 295 00:27:32,880 --> 00:27:36,640 Oh, dear. What a pity, I was enjoying that. 296 00:27:36,640 --> 00:27:39,680 Blimey! That was a near thing. 297 00:27:39,680 --> 00:27:42,760 You haven't heard the last of this! 298 00:27:42,760 --> 00:27:51,160 Sir, I can't understand why we just don't concentrate on guarding things, instead of these absurd operations. 299 00:27:51,160 --> 00:27:58,600 Oh, nonsense. By doing this, we've encountered difficulties and triumphed over them. 300 00:27:58,600 --> 00:28:03,600 And we're better soldiers for it, enriched by the experience. 301 00:28:03,600 --> 00:28:07,160 I have a feeling when the electric bill comes in, we'll all be a lot poorer! 302 00:28:07,160 --> 00:28:14,800 - Oh, no. No, there's not a shred of evidence to connect us with it. - Mmm? 303 00:29:10,520 --> 00:29:15,760 Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd