1 00:00:02,800 --> 00:00:07,240 # Who do you think you are kidding, Mr Hitler 2 00:00:07,240 --> 00:00:11,280 # If you think we're on the run? 3 00:00:12,640 --> 00:00:17,280 # We are the boys who will stop your little game 4 00:00:17,280 --> 00:00:22,080 # We are the boys who will make you think again. 5 00:00:22,080 --> 00:00:27,000 # Cos who do you think you are kidding, Mr Hitler 6 00:00:27,000 --> 00:00:31,760 # If you think old England's done? 7 00:00:31,760 --> 00:00:36,480 # Mr Brown goes off to town on the 8:21 8 00:00:36,480 --> 00:00:41,400 # But he comes home each evening, And he's ready with his gun 9 00:00:41,400 --> 00:00:46,480 # So who do you think you are kidding, Mr Hitler 10 00:00:46,480 --> 00:00:50,600 # If you think old England's done? # 11 00:00:58,360 --> 00:01:00,880 Morning, Mr Mainwaring. 12 00:01:00,880 --> 00:01:03,800 Morning, Pike. 13 00:01:03,800 --> 00:01:08,000 - Any letters? - Two, both marked "Delayed By Enemy Action". 14 00:01:08,000 --> 00:01:15,040 Do you realise that we haven't had any letters from head office for over two weeks? 15 00:01:15,040 --> 00:01:18,680 Goodness knows how many documents have been lost! 16 00:01:18,680 --> 00:01:21,520 - Shall I set up the Lewis Gun? - No, that's Wilson's job. 17 00:01:21,520 --> 00:01:26,880 - Where IS he? It's 9:15. - He's not usually late. - I wonder what's wrong. 18 00:01:26,880 --> 00:01:28,920 Perhaps he's been captured. 19 00:01:28,920 --> 00:01:30,680 What?! 20 00:01:30,680 --> 00:01:34,960 A Nazi paratrooper may have landed in the night and captured him going to work. 21 00:01:34,960 --> 00:01:37,320 Don't be ridiculous! 22 00:01:37,320 --> 00:01:38,960 I'd better do it myself. 23 00:01:40,080 --> 00:01:44,960 - TELEPHONE RINGS - See who that is. - Yes, sir. 24 00:01:45,920 --> 00:01:51,080 Hello, Swallow Bank. No, I'm not the manager. Hang on, please. 25 00:01:51,080 --> 00:01:54,560 It's for you, Mr Mainwaring. Long distance. It's head office. 26 00:01:54,560 --> 00:01:56,680 Oh, all right. 27 00:01:56,680 --> 00:01:58,080 You see to the gun. 28 00:02:01,480 --> 00:02:03,680 Hello, sir. 29 00:02:03,680 --> 00:02:06,040 It's West from head office. 30 00:02:06,040 --> 00:02:09,640 Oh, yes... Stop fiddling with that gun! 31 00:02:11,320 --> 00:02:14,640 - Mainwaring, are you there? - Yes, yes. 32 00:02:14,640 --> 00:02:18,240 I'm ringing because some of our letters may have been destroyed. 33 00:02:18,240 --> 00:02:19,880 Yes... 34 00:02:19,880 --> 00:02:23,240 Put that gun down! Put it down, I say! 35 00:02:23,240 --> 00:02:25,560 What's happening? 36 00:02:25,560 --> 00:02:28,440 - Nothing. Why? - I thought the bank was being robbed. 37 00:02:28,440 --> 00:02:31,680 No, everything's under complete control here. 38 00:02:31,680 --> 00:02:35,280 I won't waste time - this call is expensive. 39 00:02:35,280 --> 00:02:38,280 I can't send anyone to replace Wilson for several weeks, 40 00:02:38,280 --> 00:02:41,200 so you'll have to manage the best you can. 41 00:02:41,200 --> 00:02:42,760 What? 42 00:02:42,760 --> 00:02:47,240 I said I shan't be able to replace Wilson for several weeks. 43 00:02:47,240 --> 00:02:49,360 Why? Where is he going? 44 00:02:49,360 --> 00:02:55,360 You know as well as I do that he's taking over as manager of our Eastgate branch. 45 00:02:55,360 --> 00:02:59,360 'He applied for the job ages ago. Didn't he tell you?' 46 00:02:59,360 --> 00:03:00,720 He's WHAT?! 47 00:03:00,720 --> 00:03:03,240 I wrote to you about it last month. 48 00:03:03,240 --> 00:03:05,160 I never got the letter. 49 00:03:05,160 --> 00:03:08,760 It must have been destroyed in an air-raid. 50 00:03:08,760 --> 00:03:14,240 You'll just have to cope. There's a war on. Keep in touch. Goodbye. 51 00:03:18,480 --> 00:03:23,160 - Are you all right? - Wilson's been made the manager of the Eastgate branch! 52 00:03:23,160 --> 00:03:26,120 Oh, I know that! Mum's ever so pleased. 53 00:03:29,680 --> 00:03:32,360 TELEPHONE RINGS 54 00:03:32,360 --> 00:03:34,640 Hello, Mainwaring here. 55 00:03:34,640 --> 00:03:39,040 - Pritchett here, adjutant, HQ. - Good morning, sir. 56 00:03:39,040 --> 00:03:42,120 I wanted to tell you Sergeant Wilson's commission has come through. 57 00:03:42,120 --> 00:03:44,240 Commission?! 58 00:03:44,240 --> 00:03:49,240 Captain Square wants him with the Eastgate platoon as soon as possible. 59 00:03:49,240 --> 00:03:51,840 The Eastgate platoon?! 60 00:03:51,840 --> 00:03:53,600 I expect you'll miss him. 61 00:03:53,600 --> 00:03:57,880 - Who will you promote in his place? - Well, I... 62 00:03:57,880 --> 00:03:59,920 Let me know as soon as you can. 63 00:03:59,920 --> 00:04:03,400 I must say, Sergeant Wilson deserves his promotion. He's a good chap. 64 00:04:03,400 --> 00:04:07,000 'Congratulate him for me, will you? Cheerio!' 65 00:04:10,680 --> 00:04:13,200 TELEPHONE RINGS 66 00:04:13,200 --> 00:04:15,480 YES? Mainwaring here. 67 00:04:15,480 --> 00:04:17,520 Good morning, Vicar here. 68 00:04:17,520 --> 00:04:19,800 What are YOU going to tell me about Wilson?! 69 00:04:19,800 --> 00:04:24,040 That he's been made Archbishop of Canterbury?! 70 00:04:24,040 --> 00:04:25,800 Really, Mr Mainwaring! 71 00:04:25,800 --> 00:04:29,560 I'm sorry, Vicar. I'm not myself this morning. 72 00:04:29,560 --> 00:04:34,640 Oh dear, aren't you? I'm afraid I have rather a confession to make. 73 00:04:34,640 --> 00:04:39,440 I don't mean THAT sort of confession. That's mostly for the RC. 74 00:04:39,440 --> 00:04:41,080 (Idiot!) 75 00:04:41,080 --> 00:04:46,000 The whist-drive that is supposed to take place in the church hall 76 00:04:46,000 --> 00:04:48,480 on Tuesday next is, er, tonight. 77 00:04:48,480 --> 00:04:50,240 Really? 78 00:04:50,240 --> 00:04:54,240 Would you mind cancelling your parade, otherwise I'll look a fool? 79 00:04:54,240 --> 00:04:56,440 All right, Vicar. 80 00:04:56,440 --> 00:04:58,320 Oh, how sweet of you! 81 00:04:58,320 --> 00:05:00,720 Thank you very much. Goodbye. 82 00:05:03,560 --> 00:05:05,080 Pike! 83 00:05:09,320 --> 00:05:12,960 You DO look red. Shall I open the other window? 84 00:05:12,960 --> 00:05:15,520 I've just had a bit of a shock, that's all. 85 00:05:15,520 --> 00:05:20,000 - In fact, several shocks. - I've never seen you look like this before. 86 00:05:20,000 --> 00:05:25,160 - Go and tell the platoon that tonight's parade is off. - Yes, sir. 87 00:05:25,160 --> 00:05:29,880 - Then get these orders typed up and duplicated and take a copy to each member of the platoon. - Yes, sir... 88 00:05:29,880 --> 00:05:34,680 - Get on with your work. - WILSON OUTSIDE: - Lovely morning! 89 00:05:34,680 --> 00:05:38,480 - Morning, Frank. - Morning Uncle Arth...Mr Wilson. 90 00:05:38,480 --> 00:05:40,800 Morning, sir. 91 00:05:40,800 --> 00:05:43,800 What time do you call THIS? 92 00:05:43,800 --> 00:05:47,760 Actually it's, er...20 to 10. 93 00:05:47,760 --> 00:05:52,800 - Where have you been? - I've been doing some shopping. I bought this. 94 00:05:52,800 --> 00:05:56,760 Do you like it? It's for officers only, of course. 95 00:05:58,120 --> 00:06:03,560 I bought these. I'm not sure whether I like the cloth or the brass ones. 96 00:06:03,560 --> 00:06:06,960 But I understand you shouldn't wear brass with battle dress. 97 00:06:06,960 --> 00:06:08,680 Judas! 98 00:06:10,920 --> 00:06:13,160 I beg your pardon? 99 00:06:13,160 --> 00:06:18,160 - JUDAS! - I'm awfully sorry but I don't quite follow you. 100 00:06:18,160 --> 00:06:22,440 Yes, you do! You're waiting to step into my shoes! 101 00:06:22,440 --> 00:06:27,000 - No, I'm not. - You didn't tell me about the Eastgate job. 102 00:06:27,000 --> 00:06:30,960 - I thought you knew. Head office must have written to you. - The letters got destroyed. 103 00:06:30,960 --> 00:06:34,080 - That's not my fault. - And this commission? 104 00:06:34,080 --> 00:06:39,560 Captain Square probably overstepped the mark but he's keen to have me. 105 00:06:39,560 --> 00:06:43,480 He said he was most impressed with what I've done with the platoon. 106 00:06:43,480 --> 00:06:47,440 With what YOU'VE done with the platoon?! 107 00:06:47,440 --> 00:06:50,280 Yes. He's had his eye on me for some time now, you know. 108 00:06:50,280 --> 00:06:53,360 Just because you went to some tuppenny ha'penny public school! 109 00:06:53,360 --> 00:06:56,120 I wouldn't call Meadow Bridge THAT. 110 00:06:56,120 --> 00:07:00,160 Meadow Bridge(!) You know where I went, don't you? Eastbourne Grammar! 111 00:07:00,160 --> 00:07:02,800 What's wrong with THAT? 112 00:07:02,800 --> 00:07:07,960 I had to fight to get there and fight even harder to stay. 113 00:07:07,960 --> 00:07:09,440 It's all to your credit. 114 00:07:09,440 --> 00:07:14,840 You never fought for anything in your life - father in the City. 115 00:07:14,840 --> 00:07:17,560 You let everything come to you. 116 00:07:17,560 --> 00:07:20,200 It wasn't as simple as all that. 117 00:07:20,200 --> 00:07:23,040 I've been the manager of this branch for over ten years now. 118 00:07:23,040 --> 00:07:25,520 I ought to have gone on to better things years ago! 119 00:07:25,520 --> 00:07:29,600 But at interviews, they ask the same thing - "What school did you go to?" 120 00:07:29,600 --> 00:07:31,680 And as soon as I tell them, that was that! 121 00:07:31,680 --> 00:07:33,640 I'm sure that didn't influence them. 122 00:07:33,640 --> 00:07:36,720 I'm sure it wouldn't influence YOU(!) 123 00:07:36,720 --> 00:07:42,720 If they ask you, you say, "I was at Meadow Bridge - small but rather good." 124 00:07:42,720 --> 00:07:45,040 There were over 300 boys there. 125 00:07:45,040 --> 00:07:47,560 I've made a success of this branch 126 00:07:47,560 --> 00:07:52,800 AND I've taken a lot of shopkeepers and made them into a crack platoon! 127 00:07:52,800 --> 00:07:54,920 - I helped a bit. - Did you?! 128 00:07:54,920 --> 00:07:58,520 I'll show you how I value YOUR help as a sergeant AND a chief clerk! 129 00:08:00,720 --> 00:08:03,200 Get me 2-5-2, will you? 130 00:08:03,200 --> 00:08:10,040 When I sat at this desk this morning and saw the web of intrigue that was unfolding before my eyes, 131 00:08:10,040 --> 00:08:13,040 I couldn't believe it! I've never... 132 00:08:13,040 --> 00:08:16,680 Hello, Jones? Get round to the bank immediately. 133 00:08:20,400 --> 00:08:21,920 Pike! 134 00:08:27,400 --> 00:08:31,200 Until you're relieved by head office, you will be chief clerk. 135 00:08:33,480 --> 00:08:36,400 - Pardon? - You are now chief clerk. 136 00:08:36,400 --> 00:08:39,560 Do you think I've got the brains for it? 137 00:08:39,560 --> 00:08:42,480 I'm sure if Wilson has, YOU have! 138 00:08:42,480 --> 00:08:47,560 - I don't talk posh like Mr Wilson. - Never judge a book by its cover. 139 00:08:47,560 --> 00:08:51,000 - KNOCK ON DOOR - Come in! 140 00:08:51,000 --> 00:08:57,040 Mr Mainwaring, Mr Wilson, Pikey... I can't stay, the offal's arrived. 141 00:08:57,040 --> 00:09:01,760 There's a long queue and Raymond is looking after the shop. 142 00:09:01,760 --> 00:09:05,920 - This won't take a minute. Go away, Pike. - Yes, sir. 143 00:09:05,920 --> 00:09:09,920 Now, listen carefully to what I'm going to say. 144 00:09:09,920 --> 00:09:14,200 Corporal Jones, I hereby promote you to sergeant. 145 00:09:14,200 --> 00:09:16,400 What do you think of that?! 146 00:09:16,400 --> 00:09:18,040 Do you think that's wise, sir? 147 00:09:18,040 --> 00:09:20,840 That's the last time you look down your nose at me 148 00:09:20,840 --> 00:09:24,840 and say in that supercilious voice, "Do you think that's wise, sir?" 149 00:09:24,840 --> 00:09:27,840 Well? What do you think of that, Jones? Jones? 150 00:09:29,080 --> 00:09:32,680 Oh, Mr Mainwaring, I don't know what to say. 151 00:09:32,680 --> 00:09:36,640 This is extraordinary - promoted as sergeant! 152 00:09:36,640 --> 00:09:39,720 I never believed it would come true. 153 00:09:39,720 --> 00:09:46,320 After all these years, I can stand in front of those brave boys with three stripes on every arm. 154 00:09:48,200 --> 00:09:51,640 Not just one, not two, but... but three. 155 00:09:51,640 --> 00:09:56,920 You see the sort of man I'm promoting - brave, true and loyal! 156 00:09:56,920 --> 00:09:59,200 JONES' NOSE TRUMPETS 157 00:10:01,200 --> 00:10:05,600 There's just one thing. We can't have TWO sergeants. 158 00:10:05,600 --> 00:10:10,320 Mr Wilson is leaving us. He's going to higher things(!) 159 00:10:10,320 --> 00:10:14,600 He's been promoted - to second lieutenant... 160 00:10:14,600 --> 00:10:16,800 in Eastgate platoon. 161 00:10:16,800 --> 00:10:19,080 Oh, dear. I... 162 00:10:19,080 --> 00:10:20,680 That's marvellous. 163 00:10:20,680 --> 00:10:26,000 I'll miss you, Mr Wilson. Nobody deserves promotion more than you. 164 00:10:26,000 --> 00:10:33,160 I shall try to live up to the high ideals and the standards of loyalty you put up us. 165 00:10:33,160 --> 00:10:35,240 INAUDIBLE 166 00:10:35,240 --> 00:10:41,120 - Thank you, Jonesy. - Could you put the promotion down officially? 167 00:10:41,120 --> 00:10:46,640 Write it down so I'll have something solid to show to people. 168 00:10:46,640 --> 00:10:49,280 - Yes, certainly. - Thank you. 169 00:10:49,280 --> 00:10:52,760 Er... This is to confirm... 170 00:10:52,760 --> 00:10:56,960 - ..that you have been promoted... - Have been promoted... 171 00:10:56,960 --> 00:11:03,440 - ..to the rank of sergeant in the Walmington-On-Sea Home Guard. - ..Home Guard. 172 00:11:03,440 --> 00:11:11,080 - I'll have this typed out and then put the name on. - Thank you, sir. I'll get back to the shop. 173 00:11:11,080 --> 00:11:15,960 - I'll show you out. - No need to do that, thank you very much. 174 00:11:15,960 --> 00:11:20,200 - I'll get back to the shop now. - You do that. 175 00:11:20,200 --> 00:11:22,760 - I'm going back now. - You go back to the shop... 176 00:11:30,400 --> 00:11:35,720 Can you come at once? Miss King's got a query of a customer. 177 00:11:35,720 --> 00:11:37,760 All right. 178 00:11:38,720 --> 00:11:41,240 - Pike. - Yes, sir? 179 00:11:43,200 --> 00:11:48,640 Type those orders out and give a copy to everyone in the platoon, 180 00:11:48,640 --> 00:11:52,440 - and tell them tonight's parade is off. - Yes, sir. 181 00:11:57,960 --> 00:12:03,280 "This is to confirm that you've been promoted to the rank of sergeant..." 182 00:12:05,080 --> 00:12:10,120 Why has he promoted everybody else to sergeant and not me? 183 00:12:10,120 --> 00:12:13,320 Ah well, at least I AM chief clerk. 184 00:12:22,040 --> 00:12:25,560 I wish Mr Mainwaring wouldn't use my drawers! 185 00:12:25,560 --> 00:12:28,320 KNOCK ON DOOR Come in! 186 00:12:28,320 --> 00:12:33,560 Is Mr Mainwaring in? He hasn't arrived yet. 187 00:12:33,560 --> 00:12:36,400 Mrs Pike, whatever is the matter? 188 00:12:36,400 --> 00:12:40,280 Nothing, but I did want to see Mr Mainwaring. 189 00:12:40,280 --> 00:12:42,720 What is this all about? 190 00:12:42,720 --> 00:12:47,560 It's Arthur, he's deceived me. I beg your pardon? 191 00:12:47,560 --> 00:12:51,440 He's been made manager of the bank in Eastgate. 192 00:12:51,440 --> 00:12:54,200 I thought he'd commute by train. 193 00:12:54,200 --> 00:12:57,720 He's joined the Eastgate platoon as an officer, 194 00:12:57,720 --> 00:13:02,760 and he's going to live there, and I shall never see him again! 195 00:13:02,760 --> 00:13:07,400 Of course you will - Eastgate is only ten miles away. 196 00:13:07,400 --> 00:13:10,360 It might as well be 100 miles away! 197 00:13:10,360 --> 00:13:14,880 Don't worry, Mrs Pike. He'll come back to you and say: 198 00:13:14,880 --> 00:13:22,440 "I've longed to take you in my arms and tell you how much I've missed you." 199 00:13:22,440 --> 00:13:26,120 Please, sir. What is it, Verger? 200 00:13:26,120 --> 00:13:30,640 I, er... Sorry, Vicar! What are you sorry about? 201 00:13:30,640 --> 00:13:34,680 I, er... What do you want? This is personal. 202 00:13:34,680 --> 00:13:38,360 I can SEE that. Just state your business! 203 00:13:38,360 --> 00:13:41,800 I can't move the harmonium alone. 204 00:13:41,800 --> 00:13:44,960 I only want it moving a few feet. 205 00:13:44,960 --> 00:13:47,560 I still can't manage it alone. 206 00:13:47,560 --> 00:13:50,560 Get one of the platoon to help you. 207 00:13:50,560 --> 00:13:53,080 Very well, sir. 208 00:13:57,320 --> 00:14:03,920 I never thought I'd see His Reverence become a victim of wartime immorality! 209 00:14:03,920 --> 00:14:09,160 Don't worry, Mrs Pike, everything will turn out all right. 210 00:14:09,160 --> 00:14:11,000 Good evening. 211 00:14:11,000 --> 00:14:14,200 Can't you do something about Arthur? 212 00:14:14,200 --> 00:14:16,880 It's out of my hands now. 213 00:14:16,880 --> 00:14:21,120 He's changed so much. Ambition has turned his head. 214 00:14:36,560 --> 00:14:39,840 HE MAKES NO SOUND 215 00:15:00,880 --> 00:15:03,920 - Sergeant Jones! - Coming, sir. 216 00:15:22,880 --> 00:15:24,400 Pity... 217 00:15:27,560 --> 00:15:29,600 Y-e-s...! 218 00:15:33,480 --> 00:15:38,160 Platoon... Platoon...atten-SHUN! 219 00:15:38,160 --> 00:15:40,640 AS YOU WERE!! 220 00:15:41,640 --> 00:15:44,880 Very sloppy, very sloppy indeed. 221 00:15:44,880 --> 00:15:50,280 Now listen to me. There's going to be some changes around here! 222 00:15:50,280 --> 00:15:55,560 I'M in charge now. You can have it the easy way or the HARD way. 223 00:15:57,880 --> 00:16:00,720 The easy way is not very easy, 224 00:16:00,720 --> 00:16:03,240 and the HARD way... 225 00:16:03,240 --> 00:16:05,840 ..is very, very HARD! 226 00:16:05,840 --> 00:16:08,960 Now, let's have a look at ye. 227 00:16:08,960 --> 00:16:11,200 Ye-ah-sssh! 228 00:16:13,480 --> 00:16:16,000 Stand up straight, Pike! 229 00:16:16,000 --> 00:16:19,720 You're as peelie-wally as a rotten banana. 230 00:16:19,720 --> 00:16:25,840 Ah, Godfrey! Pull your socks up or you'll be out on your ear. 231 00:16:25,840 --> 00:16:30,000 I'm not carrying any passengers in MY platoon. 232 00:16:31,280 --> 00:16:34,400 Aha, I'm watching you, Walker. 233 00:16:34,400 --> 00:16:38,320 Just put one foot wrong and I'll have ye! 234 00:16:38,320 --> 00:16:40,560 You get me? 235 00:16:40,560 --> 00:16:42,840 A last warning, Jones. 236 00:16:45,800 --> 00:16:49,320 Unless your drill improves, 237 00:16:49,320 --> 00:16:52,960 I'll take that stripe away. 238 00:16:52,960 --> 00:16:56,560 Now, buck up your ideas, all of ye! 239 00:16:56,560 --> 00:17:00,240 And remember, my name is Sergeant Frazer! 240 00:17:00,240 --> 00:17:03,840 Frazer spelt B-A-S-T-A-R-D! 241 00:17:06,680 --> 00:17:12,840 THAT'S not how you spell it. Will you help me with the harmonium? 242 00:17:12,840 --> 00:17:15,960 Not me! It's got to be shifted. 243 00:17:15,960 --> 00:17:19,280 I'll tell the others what you've just said. 244 00:17:19,280 --> 00:17:23,840 All right, where is it? In the bell-tower. Come on. 245 00:17:23,840 --> 00:17:28,040 Take your jacket off. It's hot work. 246 00:17:40,280 --> 00:17:42,040 Platoon... 247 00:17:42,040 --> 00:17:43,920 atten-SHUN! 248 00:17:43,920 --> 00:17:51,480 Right, now that I've been made up to sergeant, I don't want you to worry that I'm too regimental. 249 00:17:55,880 --> 00:17:58,720 For instance, when I call the roll, 250 00:17:58,720 --> 00:18:05,560 if someone's not here who's a customer of mine and spends £2 or more a week, 251 00:18:05,560 --> 00:18:08,080 I'll mark him present. 252 00:18:08,080 --> 00:18:12,600 On the other hand, if someone's not cleaned his brasses, 253 00:18:12,600 --> 00:18:17,200 I'll overlook it if they bought the polish from me. 254 00:18:17,200 --> 00:18:22,880 Excuse me, Mr Walker! Will you help me shift the harmonium? 255 00:18:22,880 --> 00:18:27,840 Now that I'm a sergeant, I shouldn't do that sort of thing. 256 00:18:27,840 --> 00:18:30,320 It won't take a minute. 257 00:18:33,040 --> 00:18:35,560 Yeah, all right. 258 00:18:37,480 --> 00:18:44,960 Better take this jacket off. I might get my new stripes dirty in that bell-tower. 259 00:18:47,040 --> 00:18:52,400 I can't understand why Captain Mainwaring promoted me to sergeant. 260 00:18:52,400 --> 00:18:55,960 I'll do my best to carry out the duties. 261 00:18:55,960 --> 00:19:00,920 I'm sure you will. Excuse me, I must wash my hands. 262 00:19:05,720 --> 00:19:10,320 Have you seen Mr Godfrey? He's in there. 263 00:19:10,320 --> 00:19:15,120 I want his first-aid kit. I need to put a bandage on this finger. 264 00:19:22,040 --> 00:19:24,560 That was a job well done. 265 00:19:24,560 --> 00:19:30,520 I'M not here to shift furniture, especially now that I'm a... 266 00:19:30,520 --> 00:19:33,040 Hold on! Hold on! 267 00:19:33,040 --> 00:19:34,800 Blimey! 268 00:19:34,800 --> 00:19:41,400 It must be a mistake. You can't have TWO sergeants. 269 00:19:41,400 --> 00:19:44,160 ­ There must be some mistake... 270 00:19:49,720 --> 00:19:55,600 I'll do that, Captain Mainwaring. Right platoon, plat-oo-n... 271 00:19:57,320 --> 00:19:58,760 Blimey! 272 00:19:58,760 --> 00:20:01,600 You should speak to Mr Wilson. 273 00:20:01,600 --> 00:20:07,040 I'm having nothing more to do with it. I wash my hands of the affair. 274 00:20:07,040 --> 00:20:12,240 I've fallen the private in. What shall I do with the sergeants? 275 00:20:15,280 --> 00:20:18,360 - KNOCK ON DOOR - Come in. 276 00:20:18,360 --> 00:20:20,120 Ah... 277 00:20:21,080 --> 00:20:26,600 Well, I'm just off, sir. I thought I'd get the 9:30 to Eastgate. 278 00:20:28,360 --> 00:20:31,960 Why are you going now? It's only Wednesday. 279 00:20:31,960 --> 00:20:34,400 You don't start till Monday. 280 00:20:34,400 --> 00:20:38,160 The manager there has been called up. 281 00:20:38,160 --> 00:20:43,680 Mr West from head office will stay on in Eastgate to show me the ropes. 282 00:20:44,880 --> 00:20:47,400 Mr West of head office, eh? 283 00:20:47,400 --> 00:20:52,040 We ARE honoured. Why are you travelling in uniform? 284 00:20:52,040 --> 00:20:56,040 - Well, it's just sort of...handy. - Rubbish! 285 00:20:57,920 --> 00:21:03,720 - You want to parade about looking for salutes! - Why not? YOU did! - What?! 286 00:21:03,720 --> 00:21:09,080 - The day you got your new uniform, I followed you. - You followed me? - Yes. 287 00:21:09,080 --> 00:21:14,120 You went along the high street waiting for a soldier to salute you. 288 00:21:14,120 --> 00:21:16,600 In the end, you had to make do with a sea-scout! 289 00:21:16,600 --> 00:21:20,960 That's enough! Say what you have to say and go. 290 00:21:20,960 --> 00:21:24,240 Will you come and see me off? 291 00:21:24,240 --> 00:21:27,680 Certainly not! Our relationship ends now. 292 00:21:27,680 --> 00:21:32,960 After all we've been through, can't we let bygones be bygones? 293 00:21:32,960 --> 00:21:36,440 Don't try to soft-soap ME. 294 00:21:36,440 --> 00:21:39,840 Well, goodbye. 295 00:21:49,200 --> 00:21:51,240 Bye, sir. 296 00:21:59,080 --> 00:22:04,080 At least my salutes are done properly. Your salute was rotten! 297 00:22:06,560 --> 00:22:10,960 - You've done very well, Wilson. - Thank you, sir. 298 00:22:10,960 --> 00:22:15,680 - We've thought of promoting you for some years. - Oh, really? 299 00:22:15,680 --> 00:22:20,160 - If it wasn't for Mainwaring, we would have. - What did he say? 300 00:22:20,160 --> 00:22:25,000 - He said, in his opinion, you didn't show enough initiative. - Oh, did he? 301 00:22:25,000 --> 00:22:27,160 You've proved him wrong. 302 00:22:27,160 --> 00:22:31,760 - I think you'll make an excellent manager. - Thank you. 303 00:22:31,760 --> 00:22:33,800 I must get back to London. 304 00:22:33,800 --> 00:22:38,800 - Being Saturday, I expect you're busy with the Home Guard. - Yes. 305 00:22:38,800 --> 00:22:41,720 - Here are the keys. - Thank you. 306 00:22:41,720 --> 00:22:46,240 On Monday morning, YOU will be sitting in that chair. 307 00:22:46,240 --> 00:22:50,040 At 9am, you will take your place at that desk - as manager! 308 00:22:50,040 --> 00:22:52,520 How do you feel? 309 00:22:54,280 --> 00:22:55,800 Well... 310 00:22:55,800 --> 00:22:57,760 awfully nice. 311 00:22:57,760 --> 00:23:00,520 Good luck, Wilson. 312 00:23:00,520 --> 00:23:03,880 Thank you very much indeed. 313 00:23:09,320 --> 00:23:10,840 < Morning. 314 00:23:13,280 --> 00:23:17,000 < Good morning, what a lovely day! I'll see you in a moment. 315 00:23:56,440 --> 00:23:59,600 - KNOCK ON DOOR - Come in. 316 00:23:59,600 --> 00:24:03,440 - Good morning, sir. - Good morning, Mr Boyle! 317 00:24:03,440 --> 00:24:06,600 I have some important items for you. 318 00:24:06,600 --> 00:24:11,320 All in good time. I'd rather like to have a word with the staff first. 319 00:24:11,320 --> 00:24:14,240 - Oh, very well, sir. - Right. 320 00:24:18,080 --> 00:24:22,640 Mr Wilson would like a word with you. Will you all come in? 321 00:24:22,640 --> 00:24:28,400 I thought it might be nice to have a chat to get to know each other. 322 00:24:28,400 --> 00:24:30,760 Of course, sir. 323 00:24:30,760 --> 00:24:33,960 Come along, quick as you can. 324 00:24:33,960 --> 00:24:36,320 Right. Now, are we all here? 325 00:24:36,320 --> 00:24:40,600 Now, ladies and gentlemen, before we start work, 326 00:24:40,600 --> 00:24:46,680 I thought it might be a nice idea to meet you and have a word together. 327 00:24:46,680 --> 00:24:49,400 I would like you to understand 328 00:24:49,400 --> 00:24:55,160 that I like to work in a nice, quiet, relaxed kind of atmosphere. 329 00:24:55,160 --> 00:24:58,680 If you have any worries, don't be upset at all. 330 00:24:58,680 --> 00:25:01,920 Just come along to my office, tap on the door, 331 00:25:01,920 --> 00:25:05,680 and as long as you see the name "A Wilson, Manager", 332 00:25:05,680 --> 00:25:10,360 I want it to give you a feeling of security and confidence. 333 00:25:10,360 --> 00:25:13,120 I shall always be here to see you. All right? 334 00:25:13,120 --> 00:25:15,520 - But there are one or two... - AIR-RAID SIREN 335 00:25:15,520 --> 00:25:20,840 There are the sirens, Mr Wilson. We'd better go down to the shelter. 336 00:25:20,840 --> 00:25:22,800 All right, don't panic! 337 00:25:22,800 --> 00:25:28,640 It's perfectly all right. We can look at those papers in the shelter. 338 00:25:28,640 --> 00:25:33,400 Come along, my dear. What a pretty blouse you're wearing! It's lovely. 339 00:25:36,160 --> 00:25:42,640 - I hope Uncle Arthur's OK. - He'll be OK, the devil looks after his own. 340 00:25:42,640 --> 00:25:47,680 After all, they haven't had one single bomb on Eastgate yet. 341 00:26:27,640 --> 00:26:30,080 This is very upsetting, sir. 342 00:26:30,080 --> 00:26:34,040 - The bank was gutted. - How will you carry on? 343 00:26:34,040 --> 00:26:38,440 We won't. We'll close the Eastgate branch and take the business over to Hastings. 344 00:26:38,440 --> 00:26:42,000 Must be the shortest appointment in history. 345 00:26:42,000 --> 00:26:45,080 How do you mean? 346 00:26:45,080 --> 00:26:48,680 At nine o'clock he was manager of a bank, 347 00:26:48,680 --> 00:26:52,280 and at five past, he had no bank to manage. 348 00:26:52,280 --> 00:26:54,800 How is he taking it? 349 00:26:54,800 --> 00:26:59,800 You can never tell with Wilson. He doesn't show much emotion. 350 00:26:59,800 --> 00:27:04,080 Yes. We must all carry on doing our bit, Mainwaring. 351 00:27:04,080 --> 00:27:06,840 Yes, certainly, we must, sir. 352 00:27:06,840 --> 00:27:08,880 Bye. 353 00:27:22,480 --> 00:27:24,840 Hello, Wilson. Come in. 354 00:27:24,840 --> 00:27:30,720 - I've just had head office on the phone. They're very sorry. - Oh. 355 00:27:30,720 --> 00:27:35,800 - May I say how sorry I am, too? - Thank you. - It's most unfortunate. 356 00:27:35,800 --> 00:27:40,320 - Most unfortunate, yes. - Don't sit down, I'm rather busy. 357 00:27:42,800 --> 00:27:48,240 I've had a word with GHQ. They will allow you to keep your rank. 358 00:27:48,240 --> 00:27:49,800 Oh, good - good! 359 00:27:51,720 --> 00:27:54,600 Get them sewn on by tonight. 360 00:27:54,600 --> 00:27:55,880 That's all.