1 00:00:03,360 --> 00:00:08,200 # Who do you think you are kidding, Mr Hitler, 2 00:00:08,200 --> 00:00:13,200 # If you think we're on the run 3 00:00:13,200 --> 00:00:18,120 # We are the boys who will stop your little game 4 00:00:18,120 --> 00:00:23,040 # We are the boys who will make you think again 5 00:00:23,040 --> 00:00:28,080 # Cos who do you think you are kidding, Mr Hitler, 6 00:00:28,080 --> 00:00:32,800 # If you think old England's done 7 00:00:32,800 --> 00:00:36,960 # Mr Brown goes off to town on the 8:21 8 00:00:36,960 --> 00:00:42,000 # But he comes home each evening and he's ready with his gun 9 00:00:42,000 --> 00:00:47,240 # So who do you think you are kidding, Mr Hitler, 10 00:00:47,240 --> 00:00:51,840 # If you think old England's done. # 11 00:00:58,680 --> 00:01:03,880 - Sir? - Oh, sherry! Thank you very much. Quite a treat. 12 00:01:03,880 --> 00:01:08,800 - Only one glass each, I'm afraid. - Good evening, sir. 13 00:01:08,800 --> 00:01:13,840 Hello, Wilson. Very glad to have you here as my guest. 14 00:01:13,840 --> 00:01:18,960 Some of the most influential people in Walmington-on-Sea are here. 15 00:01:18,960 --> 00:01:24,440 - I say, that's our Chairman over there. - Is it really? Fascinating. 16 00:01:24,440 --> 00:01:28,440 Thank you so much, my dear. Very kind of you. 17 00:01:28,440 --> 00:01:33,480 - I say, what a very pretty brooch. - Thank you. It was my granny's. 18 00:01:33,480 --> 00:01:38,200 Was it really? It matches the colouring of your hair so well. 19 00:01:38,200 --> 00:01:43,720 Thank you, sir. I'll slip you another one when you've finished. 20 00:01:43,720 --> 00:01:48,760 - Thank you. That's very sweet of you. - Wilson! Never mind the waitress. 21 00:01:48,760 --> 00:01:56,400 - Sorry? - I'm pointing the Chairman out to you. He's looking over this way. I think I've caught his eye. 22 00:01:56,400 --> 00:02:00,920 He's the Managing Director of "Precision Extrusions", you know. 23 00:02:00,920 --> 00:02:05,040 - Is he really? - You can ingratiate yourself there. 24 00:02:05,040 --> 00:02:07,520 Good evening, sir. 25 00:02:07,520 --> 00:02:13,160 - This is my Chief Clerk Wilson. - Arthur, isn't it? - George... - Yes. 26 00:02:13,160 --> 00:02:17,120 I'm Tony Fairbrother. We were at school together. 27 00:02:17,120 --> 00:02:24,200 - Were we really? - Yes, we shared a study for three terms. - Did we? Yes, I remember now. 28 00:02:24,200 --> 00:02:28,240 How very nice to see you! Good heavens! 29 00:02:28,240 --> 00:02:32,240 Wilson has been my Chief Clerk for eight years. 30 00:02:32,240 --> 00:02:38,760 - Steven's here. Steven Sebag. - Really? - Of course he's SIR Steven now. - Of course he is. 31 00:02:38,760 --> 00:02:43,800 - Come and see him. He's as bald as a coot. - Is he really? 32 00:02:43,800 --> 00:02:49,120 - Grass never grows on a busy street, does it? - Excuse us, Mainington. 33 00:02:49,120 --> 00:02:52,360 It's Mainwaring actually. 34 00:02:52,360 --> 00:02:57,400 Yes, I think I did. I let him off in the end, I think. Do sit down. 35 00:02:57,400 --> 00:03:00,480 Hello, Bathurst. Golf all right? 36 00:03:00,480 --> 00:03:03,080 Good. 37 00:03:03,080 --> 00:03:05,720 Good evening, Captain Mainwaring. 38 00:03:05,720 --> 00:03:10,800 Jones! Nice to see you representing the butchers of Walmington-on-Sea. 39 00:03:10,800 --> 00:03:15,880 - I'm representing the Athletics Association tonight as well. - Really? 40 00:03:15,880 --> 00:03:20,920 Mr Cutforth, their official, had to go to the Derby and Joan Club. 41 00:03:20,920 --> 00:03:24,960 That's what I like about these gatherings. 42 00:03:24,960 --> 00:03:29,600 - Everyone represents a profession or a craft. - 'Evening, Cap. 43 00:03:31,920 --> 00:03:34,480 What are YOU doing here? 44 00:03:34,480 --> 00:03:37,000 Why shouldn't I be here? 45 00:03:37,000 --> 00:03:43,520 - I didn't know "under the counter" dealing was a profession. - No, but it's a craft. 46 00:03:43,520 --> 00:03:47,600 If it wasn't for me you wouldn't be drinking sherry. 47 00:03:47,600 --> 00:03:54,640 And those chicken croquettes you'll have later would've been made of whalemeat...not rabbit. 48 00:03:54,640 --> 00:03:57,480 Hello, Joe. 'Evening, Mr Jones. 49 00:03:57,480 --> 00:04:00,840 - 'Evening, sir. - 'Evening, Colonel. 50 00:04:00,840 --> 00:04:03,120 Sorry, Mainwaring. I didn't see you. 51 00:04:04,080 --> 00:04:07,120 Thank you, my dear. 52 00:04:07,120 --> 00:04:13,480 - Ready for the scheme on Saturday? - Scheme? - Oh, you're not taking part. 53 00:04:13,480 --> 00:04:19,000 - Why aren't we taking part? - Yes, how come we've been taken short? 54 00:04:19,000 --> 00:04:21,560 It was the training Major's idea. 55 00:04:21,560 --> 00:04:27,200 He's forming a Home Guard Commando Unit, from the younger, fitter chaps. 56 00:04:27,200 --> 00:04:29,760 Yes, I did hear something about it. 57 00:04:29,760 --> 00:04:37,520 He wants a striking force to operate behind enemy lines. Winkling out petrol dumps, and blowing them up. 58 00:04:37,520 --> 00:04:41,880 - Yeah, we sent Pikey to HQ for an interview. - Did he get in? 59 00:04:41,880 --> 00:04:43,920 No. He couldn't find HQ. 60 00:04:44,920 --> 00:04:49,400 The whole thing's a farce. We're not commandos. Never will be. 61 00:04:49,400 --> 00:04:55,520 Why not? I can winkle out things as well as them young chaps. I'm a very good winkler. 62 00:04:56,520 --> 00:05:01,760 Brains and local knowledge are our weapons. Not muscle and brawn. 63 00:05:01,760 --> 00:05:04,880 I agree. I was dead against it. 64 00:05:04,880 --> 00:05:10,840 - It is a bit of an insult to the older campaigners. - I feel very spurned. 65 00:05:10,840 --> 00:05:14,400 Take your seats, please, gentlemen! 66 00:05:14,400 --> 00:05:16,920 - Well, we'd better be going in. - Yes. 67 00:05:16,920 --> 00:05:24,000 - Would you chaps like to take part and prove your point? - Yes. Why not! We're game for anything. 68 00:05:24,000 --> 00:05:29,080 - Always game, sir. - I'll see if I can get the Major to agree. 69 00:05:29,080 --> 00:05:31,640 We'll talk about it after dinner. > 70 00:05:31,640 --> 00:05:38,680 Oh, is that my sherry? Thank you so much. That's very kind of you. So thoughtful. Thank you. 71 00:05:38,680 --> 00:05:41,280 I say, Wilson. Wilson! 72 00:05:41,280 --> 00:05:46,320 - Wilson! - Thank you so much. - Wilson! - Most kind. - Wilson! - Sorry, sir. 73 00:05:46,320 --> 00:05:48,880 Can't you leave that girl alone? 74 00:05:48,880 --> 00:05:51,920 # Here we are again, happy as can be 75 00:05:51,920 --> 00:05:56,040 # All good pals And jolly good company... # 76 00:05:57,000 --> 00:06:01,600 Now, our job is to place that bomb... 77 00:06:01,600 --> 00:06:08,640 either in or as near as we can get to the O.C.'s office which is in this little hut here. 78 00:06:08,640 --> 00:06:15,680 The bomb we'll use is represented by this can... Have you got it? The bomb? 79 00:06:15,680 --> 00:06:20,600 - Yes. - Well, show it to them. Hold it up. - Oh, right, right. 80 00:06:20,600 --> 00:06:23,120 The bomb. 81 00:06:23,120 --> 00:06:26,160 I've 150 of them if anyone wants one. 82 00:06:26,160 --> 00:06:31,200 Now, Sergeant Wilson and I did a recce of this place yesterday, 83 00:06:31,200 --> 00:06:36,200 and believe you me, the security here is absolutely first-class. 84 00:06:36,200 --> 00:06:41,880 The Home Guard Commandos won't get anywhere near it. It needs brains. 85 00:06:41,880 --> 00:06:47,880 And ingenuity, sir. Ingenuity is useful for getting folk into things. 86 00:06:47,880 --> 00:06:53,760 That's quite right, Jones. A platoon of infantry are on guard at here. 87 00:06:53,760 --> 00:06:58,320 All round the petrol dump is a 12-foot high barbed wire fence, 88 00:06:58,320 --> 00:07:02,640 which overhangs at the top and is quite unclimbable. 89 00:07:02,640 --> 00:07:08,240 - You could lean a ladder against it. - The guards might become suspicious. 90 00:07:08,240 --> 00:07:12,760 Not if we dressed up as window cleaners. 91 00:07:12,760 --> 00:07:16,840 Don't be silly! There are no windows in barbed wire. 92 00:07:16,840 --> 00:07:19,880 - Could we not...fling it, sir? - What? 93 00:07:19,880 --> 00:07:22,400 The bomb. Could we not fling it? 94 00:07:22,400 --> 00:07:26,400 - That's right, Taffy. Give it a Highland fling. - All right! 95 00:07:26,400 --> 00:07:30,360 - I'm just making a suggestion. - Pay attention! 96 00:07:30,360 --> 00:07:35,200 The distance between the hut and the wire is 35 yards. 97 00:07:35,200 --> 00:07:39,520 But Corporal Jones tried some tests in throwing. 98 00:07:39,520 --> 00:07:43,560 Yes, sir. My first attempt only went 12 yards. 99 00:07:43,560 --> 00:07:50,080 So I got hold of it by the handle and I whirled myself round like a whirling dervish. 100 00:07:50,080 --> 00:07:56,280 They do it in a trance. They do it in a trance, do whirling dervishes. 101 00:07:56,280 --> 00:08:02,840 I whirled myself round. Then I got dizzy, sir. Probably because I wasn't in a trance. 102 00:08:02,840 --> 00:08:05,560 And then the handle came off. 103 00:08:07,600 --> 00:08:11,640 Yes, well, I don't think it would work. 104 00:08:11,640 --> 00:08:16,800 In any case we're jumping the gun because, first of all, 105 00:08:16,800 --> 00:08:22,320 we are to be dumped along this road as though we were parachutists. 106 00:08:22,320 --> 00:08:27,000 - Will we be wearing parachutes? - Don't be so stupid! 107 00:08:27,000 --> 00:08:30,880 It's not so stupid. Parachutists wear parachutes. 108 00:08:30,880 --> 00:08:34,280 Don't be impertinent, Pike! 109 00:08:34,280 --> 00:08:40,040 Our job is get across this river, over the bridge or by any other way. 110 00:08:40,040 --> 00:08:45,960 Captain Mainwaring, I'm rather anxious not to do any swimming. 111 00:08:45,960 --> 00:08:48,640 Pontoons, sir. That's what we need. 112 00:08:48,640 --> 00:08:53,920 - Aye, pontoons, sir. - Yes, unfortunately we don't have any. 113 00:08:53,920 --> 00:08:56,160 We could use Mr Frazer's coffins. 114 00:08:57,160 --> 00:09:01,720 If you go on being silly, Pike, I shall send you home. 115 00:09:01,720 --> 00:09:05,440 Why can't we walk across the bridge? 116 00:09:05,440 --> 00:09:13,240 - Because the bridge and the river are guarded by the Royal West Kents. - Good answer. - Right. 117 00:09:13,240 --> 00:09:18,480 Bluff, sir. That's what we must use. Bluff. That's what we need. Bluff. 118 00:09:18,480 --> 00:09:21,440 And ingenuity, sir. Ingenuity. 119 00:09:21,440 --> 00:09:24,040 I don't mind dressing up as a nun. 120 00:09:25,720 --> 00:09:31,280 I did it once at a fancy dress ball and they said I looked awfully holy. 121 00:09:33,440 --> 00:09:36,000 Did they? 122 00:09:36,000 --> 00:09:41,080 Young Pikey could be the novice, and Jonesy the Mother Superior. 123 00:09:41,080 --> 00:09:48,680 - OK! - We're always reading about parachutists dressing up as nuns. They'd see through it straightaway. 124 00:09:48,680 --> 00:09:55,200 That's where the ingenuity comes in. We could be walking along as a nun crocodile. 125 00:09:55,200 --> 00:10:00,800 We could go along nonchalantly, and the guards would say to themselves, 126 00:10:00,800 --> 00:10:03,400 "they can't be artificial nuns, 127 00:10:03,400 --> 00:10:10,920 "or we would think they were parachutists. They'll be real nuns, ventilating themselves in the air." 128 00:10:10,920 --> 00:10:14,160 So they'll bless us and let us pass. 129 00:10:18,400 --> 00:10:20,960 I don't think that's very practical. 130 00:10:20,960 --> 00:10:25,680 In any case, it isn't easy to get nuns' habits these days. 131 00:10:25,680 --> 00:10:32,160 - Joe could get some from the nuns at the orphanage. - No, I don't do business with them. 132 00:10:32,160 --> 00:10:36,120 Except for providing the orphans. Except for... 133 00:10:37,080 --> 00:10:39,640 That's liable, that is. 134 00:10:39,640 --> 00:10:42,640 Frank here has got a suggestion. 135 00:10:42,640 --> 00:10:47,120 - Yes, what is it? - No, you'll just say I'm being silly. 136 00:10:47,120 --> 00:10:50,680 Not unless you are being silly. 137 00:10:50,680 --> 00:10:54,480 - It's about coffins. - Oh, yes... 138 00:10:54,480 --> 00:11:01,520 - If we pretend to be a funeral, they'd let us cross the bridge. - Yes, they probably would. 139 00:11:01,520 --> 00:11:06,480 But that's no help because they don't have funerals in petrol dumps. 140 00:11:06,480 --> 00:11:11,560 - Unless they blow up. - Unless they... I shan't tell you again, Walker. 141 00:11:11,560 --> 00:11:17,320 Whatever gets us across that bridge has to get us into the petrol dump. 142 00:11:17,320 --> 00:11:19,880 Hang on. Hang on just a second. 143 00:11:19,880 --> 00:11:25,320 Now I've got a shed round about here where I keep my essential supplies. 144 00:11:25,320 --> 00:11:30,600 If we go there, and you keep your trap shut, maybe I can help you. 145 00:11:30,600 --> 00:11:33,080 You can rely on our discretion. 146 00:11:33,080 --> 00:11:36,720 Keep your hands to yourself, though. 147 00:11:36,720 --> 00:11:41,800 I don't want anything nicked. That's how I got it in the first place. 148 00:11:41,800 --> 00:11:47,480 - Just explain the plan. Nobody will take your property. - What we do is... 149 00:11:48,440 --> 00:11:54,160 # Here we are again, happy as can be, Good pals and jolly good company. # 150 00:11:54,160 --> 00:11:58,000 Right, in here when you've got your uniforms on. 151 00:11:58,960 --> 00:12:01,760 Put your helmet on, Pike. 152 00:12:01,760 --> 00:12:05,000 But I can't see with it on. Look. 153 00:12:08,040 --> 00:12:10,680 Try it the other way round. 154 00:12:10,680 --> 00:12:13,840 They're awfully rough on the neck. 155 00:12:13,840 --> 00:12:16,800 You've been mollycoddled too much. 156 00:12:17,880 --> 00:12:24,920 How did you get that fine machine? I offered the fire station ten quid for it. 157 00:12:24,920 --> 00:12:27,680 I'll ask him about it, boys. 158 00:12:27,680 --> 00:12:32,680 - Excuse me, Captain Mainwaring. - Yes? - Can you clear up a technical point? 159 00:12:32,680 --> 00:12:38,120 Where do you want these axe handles dangling? On the left or right rump? 160 00:12:38,120 --> 00:12:45,120 - The left, please. - On the left rump. On the left rump! Dangle on the left rump, please! 161 00:12:45,120 --> 00:12:47,640 All right, Jones. Jones! Corporal! 162 00:12:47,640 --> 00:12:50,240 - Yes, sir. - That's enough. - Right, sir. 163 00:12:50,240 --> 00:12:53,720 Let's go through the plan once more. 164 00:12:55,360 --> 00:13:00,440 - Come on, Godfrey. - It's the trousers. There are no buttons for my braces. 165 00:13:00,440 --> 00:13:05,160 - Can't you wear a belt? - Trousers hang better from braces. 166 00:13:05,160 --> 00:13:08,640 It's not a fashion parade, Godfrey. 167 00:13:09,960 --> 00:13:16,960 - Right, at ten minutes past three... - 15.10, sir. - What did you say? - 15.10. - Never mind that. 168 00:13:16,960 --> 00:13:19,880 At ten past three we all move out. 169 00:13:19,880 --> 00:13:24,880 Two minutes later a fire will start outside the wire to the petrol dump. 170 00:13:24,880 --> 00:13:31,680 I took care of that. I dumped a load of old cases and two drums of oil outside the wire. 171 00:13:31,680 --> 00:13:37,080 - Good. Right, so at twelve...three... - 15.12, sir. 172 00:13:38,040 --> 00:13:44,240 At 3:12, our secret agent will push the barrow of paraffin-soaked hay 173 00:13:44,240 --> 00:13:46,560 into the pile...and ignite it. 174 00:13:46,560 --> 00:13:49,800 - Is the secret agent laid on? - Yes. 175 00:13:49,800 --> 00:13:57,040 - I think it's safe to disclose the identity of our agent now. - Yes. - Who is it? - The Verger. - The Ver... 176 00:13:57,040 --> 00:14:01,840 - Have you gone mad? - No, sir. - I thought it was to be Mrs Pike. 177 00:14:01,840 --> 00:14:04,360 She couldn't decide what to wear. 178 00:14:04,360 --> 00:14:11,880 - The Verger will get it all wrong. - I wrote it all down for him and gave him ten bob. I'm sure he'll be fine. 179 00:14:11,880 --> 00:14:15,160 - Be it on YOUR head. - As usual. - Yes. 180 00:14:15,160 --> 00:14:23,000 This fire will help us to bluff our way across the bridge. When we reach the fire, what do you do, Frazer? 181 00:14:23,000 --> 00:14:27,440 My party unloads yon ladder and sets it up near the wire. 182 00:14:27,440 --> 00:14:32,920 The rest of us create a hullabaloo around the fire with our hoses. 183 00:14:32,920 --> 00:14:37,720 While Joe is hullabalooing, I shall shinny up the ladder unseen. 184 00:14:37,720 --> 00:14:41,760 I'll have the bomb on the end of this rope, sir. 185 00:14:41,760 --> 00:14:48,280 I shall then sling it on to the roof of the hut like a linesman swinging the lead. 186 00:14:48,280 --> 00:14:53,280 When I say "linesman", I don't mean a football linesman. 187 00:14:53,280 --> 00:14:58,800 When I say "swinging the lead", I don't mean a chap skiving. 188 00:14:58,800 --> 00:15:01,320 I mean a seafaring linesman, sir. 189 00:15:01,320 --> 00:15:09,000 They had a bit of tallow on the end, so they could see what their bottoms were like. Did you know that? 190 00:15:09,000 --> 00:15:13,800 - As it happens, yes. - I wish you'd said, or I wouldn't... 191 00:15:13,800 --> 00:15:17,840 All right, all right! Right, everyone to their posts. 192 00:15:17,840 --> 00:15:21,640 Mr Mainwaring, can I drive the fire engine, please? 193 00:15:21,640 --> 00:15:25,960 - Don't be ridiculous, Pike! - Can I ring the bell, then? 194 00:15:25,960 --> 00:15:28,880 - I'm ringing the bell. - Get to your place, boy. 195 00:15:31,440 --> 00:15:35,680 - Can someone give me a hand? - I need a hand too. 196 00:15:35,680 --> 00:15:40,040 Come on, up you get, Godfrey. 197 00:15:40,040 --> 00:15:42,400 Now you, Frazer. 198 00:15:42,400 --> 00:15:45,240 Hold on tight while you're there. 199 00:15:46,200 --> 00:15:51,240 - Right, off you go, Wilson. - I can manage all right, sir. Thank you. 200 00:15:51,240 --> 00:15:53,800 Right. 201 00:15:53,800 --> 00:15:59,200 - Wait a minute, sir. I'll give you a shoulder. - Give me a hand, Wilson. 202 00:15:59,200 --> 00:16:01,800 Ups-a-daisy! 203 00:16:01,800 --> 00:16:06,960 - Are you all right, sir? - I beg your pardon, sir. I upped you a bit much. 204 00:16:06,960 --> 00:16:10,360 - All right, all right. - Very sorry, sir. 205 00:16:10,360 --> 00:16:15,880 - You all right, sir? - Of course I am! Get round to your place. - Yes, sir. 206 00:16:15,880 --> 00:16:19,520 - All right there at the back? - Yes! - Right, stand by! 207 00:16:19,520 --> 00:16:26,040 - Hold on a minute. I'm not quite at the ready, sir. - Oh, for...! 208 00:16:26,040 --> 00:16:28,240 Hang on a minute. 209 00:16:28,240 --> 00:16:30,840 Come on, Mr Jones! 210 00:16:32,080 --> 00:16:35,400 Sir, if I shout "one, two, three", 211 00:16:35,400 --> 00:16:39,040 - you give me a bit of an urge up. - Yes, all right. 212 00:16:39,040 --> 00:16:41,600 - Give him a hand, Wilson. - Yes, sir. 213 00:16:41,600 --> 00:16:48,640 Wait a minute. Look, there's a fire extinguisher in case the fire engine catches fire. 214 00:16:48,640 --> 00:16:54,480 - These firemen are very cautious men. Do you know when I... - Get up there! 215 00:16:54,480 --> 00:16:58,880 Come along, Jones. That's it. Well done. 216 00:16:58,880 --> 00:17:03,520 - Stand by, everybody. Stand by. - BELL RINGS 217 00:17:03,520 --> 00:17:06,120 Aagh! 218 00:17:06,120 --> 00:17:09,200 You all right, sir? Try and be brave. 219 00:17:09,200 --> 00:17:12,560 Come on. Up you get. Well done. 220 00:17:12,560 --> 00:17:20,320 - Are you all right, Mr Mainwaring? - Of course I'm all right! Why are you standing there, Pike? 221 00:17:20,320 --> 00:17:24,040 - You needed help. - Get back up there! 222 00:17:24,040 --> 00:17:30,080 - Honestly, I can't do a thing right. "Moan, moan, moan". - No back chat either. - All right! 223 00:17:30,080 --> 00:17:32,920 Off we go. 224 00:17:32,920 --> 00:17:38,440 - BELL RINGS - Fire! Fire! Don't panic! 225 00:17:38,440 --> 00:17:40,560 Quiet! 226 00:17:40,560 --> 00:17:47,080 I'm sorry, sir. I can't hear you say anything because of the noise of the bell. 227 00:17:47,080 --> 00:17:52,640 - Don't ring the bell till I say "go". - "Go". Right, sir. - Mr Mainwaring. 228 00:17:52,640 --> 00:17:57,800 - You can't go. - Why not? - The doors are closed. - Open them when we're ready. 229 00:17:57,800 --> 00:18:00,760 Don't start the engine yet, sir! 230 00:18:00,760 --> 00:18:06,320 Cos we might breathe in poisonous gases and get sophisticated. 231 00:18:08,720 --> 00:18:11,000 Pike! 232 00:18:11,000 --> 00:18:16,520 - Open the doors. - It's different now you want me to do something. - Go on! 233 00:18:16,520 --> 00:18:19,600 AIR RAID SIREN WAILS 234 00:18:19,600 --> 00:18:26,000 - Here they come. - That's good. It'll divert the guards on the bridge. 235 00:18:26,000 --> 00:18:28,680 Very true, Frazer. Right, hang on. 236 00:18:28,680 --> 00:18:31,200 Here we go! 237 00:18:31,200 --> 00:18:36,200 - BELL RINGS - Fire! Don't panic! - Stop it! 238 00:18:36,200 --> 00:18:44,200 - You said "go", so I dinged my dinger. - Well, don't ding the dinger till we're on the move. - Right, sir. 239 00:18:44,200 --> 00:18:49,680 - The doors are open. - How many times must I tell you to go to your place! 240 00:18:49,680 --> 00:18:54,760 - You told me to open the doors! - Don't argue. - Everything I do is wrong! 241 00:18:54,760 --> 00:18:57,640 ENGINE STARTS 242 00:18:57,640 --> 00:19:04,000 - Ow! Stop! - What's the matter? - You... - Why are you wet like that? 243 00:19:04,000 --> 00:19:09,040 - You squirted me with water! - Don't be ridiculous! - You did! 244 00:19:09,040 --> 00:19:12,000 Stop it! 245 00:19:12,000 --> 00:19:16,560 Sergeant Wilson, push that lever. It throws the pump out. 246 00:19:16,560 --> 00:19:21,840 - Wilson, push that lever. It throws the pump out. - That's what I'm doing. 247 00:19:21,840 --> 00:19:28,880 - If I tell you again, I'll leave you behind. Now get up there. - I couldn't care less. 248 00:19:28,880 --> 00:19:31,920 ENGINE STARTS 249 00:19:31,920 --> 00:19:39,520 - This engine runs well. - So it should. The same petrol's put in Spitfires. - Good Lord! 250 00:19:39,520 --> 00:19:44,920 - BELL RINGS - Fire! Fire! Don't panic! 251 00:20:17,040 --> 00:20:22,720 That's the lot. If I found out who dumped them, his feet wouldn't touch. 252 00:20:31,840 --> 00:20:34,760 Don't panic! Don't panic! 253 00:20:34,760 --> 00:20:37,520 Don't panic! Fire! Fire! 254 00:20:37,520 --> 00:20:40,480 Don't panic! Don't panic! 255 00:20:40,480 --> 00:20:45,880 - Fire! - Everything hinges now on the Verger. 256 00:20:52,280 --> 00:20:56,320 "Push barrow among pile of packing cases." 257 00:20:57,640 --> 00:21:00,160 Excuse me! 258 00:21:00,160 --> 00:21:03,520 Did you see a pile of cases here? > 259 00:21:03,520 --> 00:21:07,560 Yeah. They've been driven away. Were they yours? 260 00:21:07,560 --> 00:21:11,640 No. I was just interested in them for a friend. 261 00:21:11,640 --> 00:21:14,160 "Light paper in barrow... 262 00:21:29,880 --> 00:21:35,040 "Shout fire. Run to the guard room and send for fire brigade." 263 00:21:35,040 --> 00:21:37,800 Fire! Fire! 264 00:21:40,320 --> 00:21:42,880 Fire! > 265 00:21:42,880 --> 00:21:45,560 Fire! 266 00:21:47,160 --> 00:21:53,880 Send for the fire brigade. What for? I've put it out. What's your game then? 267 00:21:53,880 --> 00:21:59,520 - What's yours? - You're not mentioned here. Hop it! 268 00:21:59,520 --> 00:22:03,760 - Don't panic! - There's the bridge straight ahead. 269 00:22:03,760 --> 00:22:08,400 I don't see any smoke. It should be over there. 270 00:22:08,400 --> 00:22:10,800 Ruddy hell! 271 00:22:11,800 --> 00:22:19,280 Better check it out, lads. There's no telling what those old baskets will get up to. 272 00:22:19,280 --> 00:22:21,760 The smoke's coming from over there. 273 00:22:21,760 --> 00:22:29,280 - He's lit the fire in the wrong place. - They're stopping us. - I'll deal with this. 274 00:22:30,800 --> 00:22:34,840 Just making sure there's no Home Guards hiding. 275 00:22:34,840 --> 00:22:39,320 - Don't be ridiculous. There's a fire. - What are those hens doing? 276 00:22:39,320 --> 00:22:42,560 Laying eggs. Drive on, driver. 277 00:22:48,760 --> 00:22:53,360 Don't just stand there. Catch those hens. 278 00:22:53,360 --> 00:22:56,520 BELL RINGING 279 00:22:58,320 --> 00:23:01,760 It's over there. Over there! 280 00:23:01,760 --> 00:23:07,520 - Damn, it's Hodges. - You're quick. I haven't sent for you yet. 281 00:23:07,520 --> 00:23:12,200 - Out the way, Hodges. - Why are you dressed as a fireman? 282 00:23:12,200 --> 00:23:18,560 - Let us through. - No, you don't. That Jerry plane dropped incendiaries. 283 00:23:18,560 --> 00:23:21,600 There's a house on fire. Drive on. 284 00:23:43,200 --> 00:23:46,240 Get the ladder off and the hoses. 285 00:23:46,240 --> 00:23:50,960 Don't stand there gawping, Pike. Get the small hose out. 286 00:23:54,920 --> 00:24:01,480 - Get a move on. This house'll be burnt down in a minute. - Mind your own business... Hoses! 287 00:24:01,480 --> 00:24:03,960 You're going too fast, boy! 288 00:24:07,080 --> 00:24:11,760 Mr Mainwaring, would you mind turning the tap on, please? 289 00:24:11,760 --> 00:24:15,680 You've pulled it out of the socket! 290 00:24:15,680 --> 00:24:18,880 Could someone help me to the ground? 291 00:24:18,880 --> 00:24:22,160 There's no time for that! 292 00:24:22,160 --> 00:24:26,680 - Go away! - We've hooked up the hydrant. - But there's no twiddler. 293 00:24:26,680 --> 00:24:31,920 - No what? - The metal part. The iron thing. Like a big sardine key. 294 00:24:31,920 --> 00:24:38,440 You put it in the ground, twiddle it, and all the water flourishes out. 295 00:24:38,440 --> 00:24:46,120 - This is it, Mr Mainwaring. - Don't stand there with it, boy. Get it round to the hydrant. 296 00:24:48,080 --> 00:24:52,600 - All set back here, sir! - Good. 297 00:24:52,600 --> 00:24:56,600 Why aren't you doing something? Grab hold of that. 298 00:24:56,600 --> 00:24:59,680 - Get it over there. - Yes, Captain. 299 00:24:59,680 --> 00:25:06,560 - Captain Mainwaring, I wonder if... - Well done, Godfrey. Hang on there. 300 00:25:06,560 --> 00:25:11,080 - Wilson! - Sorry, sir. - What are you doing there? 301 00:25:11,080 --> 00:25:15,800 I thought you'd ask me to start something or stop something. 302 00:25:15,800 --> 00:25:20,600 - Well, stand by to rev up. - All right, sir. 303 00:25:27,040 --> 00:25:31,160 - Come on, Pikey. Get twiddling. - All right, Mr Jones. 304 00:25:31,160 --> 00:25:33,400 That's right. 305 00:25:34,360 --> 00:25:37,400 Keep turning, Pike! 306 00:25:37,400 --> 00:25:42,080 - I'm getting all wet. - Never mind that. Keep turning. 307 00:25:42,080 --> 00:25:47,200 Keep twiddling and it'll all come out in a flourish over there. 308 00:25:47,200 --> 00:25:52,320 - I'm the one who's getting wet, not you. - Do as you're told. 309 00:25:52,320 --> 00:25:55,040 Standing by this end, sir. 310 00:25:55,040 --> 00:25:57,600 Send the water through. 311 00:25:57,600 --> 00:26:02,360 - Rev her up, Sergeant. - Is anything happening? 312 00:26:02,360 --> 00:26:07,160 - There's a lever there somewhere, I think. - Is there? Ah! 313 00:26:07,160 --> 00:26:14,400 - Nothing's coming through. Tell them to hurry up. - Let's see. There's probably an obstruction in the pipe. 314 00:26:14,400 --> 00:26:18,120 There we are. Let's go and help. 315 00:26:18,120 --> 00:26:22,840 No sign of any foreign body there. Turn the valve off, Frazer. 316 00:26:26,840 --> 00:26:31,320 Maniacs! What are you doing? Maniacs! 317 00:26:31,320 --> 00:26:36,920 - Pikey, you poke your finger in that hole. - No. You put YOUR finger in it. 318 00:26:36,920 --> 00:26:40,120 No. I'm not going to get wet. 319 00:26:41,680 --> 00:26:46,560 - Stop it! - Put your finger in the hole. - It's not coming out the hole. 320 00:26:46,560 --> 00:26:50,600 That's it under control. We'll soon have it out now. 321 00:26:50,600 --> 00:26:53,120 You're a man of many parts. 322 00:26:53,120 --> 00:26:58,280 This disguise was to get us into the dump. Hitler spoilt our plans. 323 00:26:58,280 --> 00:27:03,320 Don't worry. The Commandos got caught and your other plan worked perfectly. 324 00:27:03,320 --> 00:27:08,400 - Other plan? - The Major was waiting in the hut to see what happened. 325 00:27:08,400 --> 00:27:16,240 - You should have seen his face when the parcel arrived on his desk, and he opened it to find a bomb. - Parcel? 326 00:27:16,240 --> 00:27:20,840 I posted it yesterday, sir. Like Sergeant Wilson said. 327 00:27:20,840 --> 00:27:22,840 Well done, Walker. 328 00:27:25,400 --> 00:27:31,920 He said it was cheating, but I said it just proves the point. Brains very often beat brawn. 329 00:27:31,920 --> 00:27:36,400 I'd back my ingenuity against muscle any day. 330 00:27:36,400 --> 00:27:40,440 - Whoa! Help! - Wilson, lend a hand! Walker! 331 00:27:40,440 --> 00:27:44,360 - Can't hold it. Hang on! - It's gone mad. 332 00:27:44,360 --> 00:27:47,360 Wilson! Walker! It's out of control!