1 00:00:03,640 --> 00:00:08,240 # Who do you think you are kidding, Mr Hitler 2 00:00:08,240 --> 00:00:12,680 # If you think we're on the run? 3 00:00:12,680 --> 00:00:18,040 # We are the boys who will stop your little game 4 00:00:18,040 --> 00:00:23,120 # We are the boys who will make you think again 5 00:00:23,120 --> 00:00:27,720 # Cos who do you think you are kidding, Mr Hitler 6 00:00:27,720 --> 00:00:32,880 # If you think old England's done? 7 00:00:32,880 --> 00:00:37,520 # Mr Brown goes off to town on the 8:21 8 00:00:37,520 --> 00:00:42,120 # But he comes home each evening and he's ready with his gun 9 00:00:42,120 --> 00:00:44,560 # So who do you think 10 00:00:44,560 --> 00:00:47,160 # You are kidding, Mr Hitler 11 00:00:47,160 --> 00:00:51,640 # If you think old England's done? # 12 00:01:07,840 --> 00:01:09,040 Good morning. 13 00:01:09,040 --> 00:01:14,600 - Good morning! - Good morning. - The usual coffee and biscuits, please. 14 00:01:14,600 --> 00:01:19,640 The ration's been cut to one and a half biscuits each. 15 00:01:19,640 --> 00:01:22,400 I'll give you extra sugar! 16 00:01:22,400 --> 00:01:24,680 How very kind of you. 17 00:01:24,680 --> 00:01:27,720 - We try to keep up morale. - Thank you. 18 00:01:29,360 --> 00:01:35,640 - I look forward to my coffee. Don't you? - Yes. - An oasis in the turmoil of strife. 19 00:01:35,640 --> 00:01:40,320 In such a setting, it's hard to believe we're at war. 20 00:01:41,840 --> 00:01:43,120 Sir... 21 00:01:43,120 --> 00:01:47,800 ..did you have to bring that great big gun with you? 22 00:01:47,800 --> 00:01:52,160 "That great big gun"?! You talk like a nancy-boy! 23 00:01:54,240 --> 00:02:00,120 That 38 has never left me since it was issued. I take it everywhere! 24 00:02:00,120 --> 00:02:05,480 How very inconvenient. Doesn't it get wet when you take a bath? 25 00:02:05,480 --> 00:02:10,240 That's the sort of flippant remark I'd expect from you. 26 00:02:10,240 --> 00:02:16,880 What would you do if a German came through that door? Go home for your rifle? 27 00:02:19,560 --> 00:02:23,000 - Morning. - Morning. - Have you seen Charlie? 28 00:02:23,000 --> 00:02:28,160 - Who? - The fellow who helps me. I'm meeting him. - We've seen nobody. 29 00:02:29,640 --> 00:02:32,360 - Here...Captain Mainwaring? - Mmm? 30 00:02:33,400 --> 00:02:40,360 - Will you do me a favour? - What? - Will you nip outside and watch out in case a copper comes? - Yes... 31 00:02:40,360 --> 00:02:42,800 I beg your pardon? 32 00:02:42,800 --> 00:02:46,040 I've got some things outside for Miss Fortescue. 33 00:02:46,040 --> 00:02:51,840 How dare you? You expect ME, the bank manager, to act as a lookout? 34 00:02:51,840 --> 00:02:54,480 I'll sneak 'em in the back, then! 35 00:02:54,480 --> 00:02:59,280 I want nothing to do with your black-market activities. 36 00:02:59,280 --> 00:03:02,680 I'll cancel that order of yours for whisky. 37 00:03:10,320 --> 00:03:13,200 - It's not for me. - No, no. - My wife. 38 00:03:13,200 --> 00:03:15,720 Medicinal, of course. 39 00:03:15,720 --> 00:03:18,400 I understand, sir, of course. 40 00:03:18,400 --> 00:03:24,640 - Here we are. - Thank you. - Two coffees. - How lovely. - And three Rich Tea biscuits. 41 00:03:24,640 --> 00:03:28,320 - Thank you. - Thank you. - Thank YOU. - Thank you. 42 00:03:28,320 --> 00:03:33,160 - I've no time for this black-market stuff, you know. - No. 43 00:03:33,160 --> 00:03:37,200 - I believe in fair shares for all. - I quite agree. 44 00:03:37,200 --> 00:03:38,760 So do I. 45 00:03:43,040 --> 00:03:48,320 Come on, Mr Mainwaring. Here's your rifle, Uncle Arthur. Chop-chop! 46 00:03:48,320 --> 00:03:53,200 - Just a minute! What's all this? - A phone call from the police. 47 00:03:53,200 --> 00:03:54,640 Walker? 48 00:03:54,640 --> 00:04:01,240 - No. A Nazi pilot's baled out. He's hanging from the town-hall roof! Come on! - WHAT? 49 00:04:02,480 --> 00:04:04,400 Don't panic! 50 00:04:04,400 --> 00:04:09,520 - There's a Nazi paratrooper dangling from the town hall! - Yes! 51 00:04:09,520 --> 00:04:12,880 - He's dangling! - We KNOW! We're just going! 52 00:04:12,880 --> 00:04:20,760 - I'll get my bayonet! - You don't need your bayonet! - I do! When he comes down...they don't like it! - Go on! 53 00:04:20,760 --> 00:04:22,280 Your hat. 54 00:04:23,440 --> 00:04:25,480 Mind out! I'm risking it. 55 00:04:26,480 --> 00:04:30,160 Get your rifle and go to the town hall. 56 00:04:30,160 --> 00:04:33,240 - You're shooting the mayor? - Never mind! 57 00:04:33,240 --> 00:04:36,360 - We'll get Frazer. Come on. - I'm coming! 58 00:04:39,400 --> 00:04:45,160 HODGES: Stand back now, come on! Do as you're told! Get 'em back! 59 00:04:45,160 --> 00:04:49,200 Come on, now. Stand back! Do as you're told! 60 00:04:49,200 --> 00:04:53,320 WILL you stand back? There's nothing to see! 61 00:04:53,320 --> 00:04:56,840 It's only a German hanging from a parachute! 62 00:04:58,880 --> 00:05:02,520 Hilfe! Hilfe! 63 00:05:02,520 --> 00:05:04,560 EXCITED WHISPERING 64 00:05:04,560 --> 00:05:08,840 STAND BACK! If the ropes break, he could fall on us! 65 00:05:08,840 --> 00:05:10,600 Could be nasty! > 66 00:05:10,600 --> 00:05:14,720 They won't break. They make strong ropes, them Germans. 67 00:05:14,720 --> 00:05:18,200 < They make a lot of other things, too... 68 00:05:18,200 --> 00:05:22,360 ..binoculars, and cameras, and telescopes, 69 00:05:22,360 --> 00:05:23,640 < and bicycles, 70 00:05:23,640 --> 00:05:28,280 air-guns, sewing-machines... Very good sewing-machines. 71 00:05:28,280 --> 00:05:31,800 Oh, shut up, you silly old fool! 72 00:05:31,800 --> 00:05:36,720 Excuse me! Thank you. Can I get through? Sorry. Excuse me. 73 00:05:36,720 --> 00:05:39,440 It's our brave lads! Give a cheer! 74 00:05:39,440 --> 00:05:41,760 CROWD: HURRAY! HURRAY! 75 00:05:41,760 --> 00:05:43,080 Excuse me! 76 00:05:43,080 --> 00:05:48,000 Who do you think you're shoving, Napoleon? I'm in charge here! 77 00:05:48,000 --> 00:05:50,200 I won't discuss it! 78 00:05:50,200 --> 00:05:56,440 I've got a position of authority and you undermine it! How dare you show me up? 79 00:05:56,440 --> 00:05:59,160 This helmet means something! 80 00:05:59,160 --> 00:06:02,400 It means you're very boring. Go away! 81 00:06:02,400 --> 00:06:06,640 Like I said, he's dangling! How we gonna undangle him? 82 00:06:06,640 --> 00:06:09,560 - Yes, how? - We'll think of something. 83 00:06:09,560 --> 00:06:12,920 He's in no position to do us much trouble. 84 00:06:12,920 --> 00:06:18,200 A wounded jackal is most dangerous when he's cornered. Come on! 85 00:06:22,000 --> 00:06:25,640 He's got no respect for my helmet whatsoever! 86 00:06:25,640 --> 00:06:30,000 The Germans make good helmets. Good boots, too. 87 00:06:39,040 --> 00:06:40,840 Wait for me! 88 00:06:45,080 --> 00:06:49,720 - You've got to get him down! - We'll do our best, Mr Gordon. 89 00:06:49,720 --> 00:06:55,640 - I - am responsible for the town hall. I cannot have a German dangling here. 90 00:06:55,640 --> 00:06:57,960 What WILL the council say? 91 00:06:57,960 --> 00:07:01,040 - How do we get up there? - I'll show you. 92 00:07:01,040 --> 00:07:02,560 Thank you. 93 00:07:03,800 --> 00:07:06,880 - This way. - That's the way up. - I see. 94 00:07:06,880 --> 00:07:10,360 - But it's not very safe! - Oh! Why's that? 95 00:07:10,360 --> 00:07:15,520 The staircase was burned down by a fire bomb last year. 96 00:07:15,520 --> 00:07:22,040 They've put up scaffolding, but the town clerk's right it doesn't look safe. 97 00:07:22,040 --> 00:07:28,440 - Where have you been? - Shopping, then I heard a commotion. Can I be of any assistance? 98 00:07:28,440 --> 00:07:29,480 Sir? 99 00:07:31,160 --> 00:07:33,760 I doubt it. 100 00:07:33,760 --> 00:07:36,240 What have you got there? 101 00:07:36,240 --> 00:07:41,880 - My sister Dolly's air cushion. It's been mended. - Couldn't they wrap it? 102 00:07:41,880 --> 00:07:47,040 - No. - That's a disgrace, to make you walk about like that! 103 00:07:47,040 --> 00:07:51,920 - They don't wrap things. It's the war. - Jones! - So many changes... 104 00:07:51,920 --> 00:07:56,360 They could have put a bit of paper round it. 105 00:07:56,360 --> 00:08:01,680 - It's a disgrace. - Jones! - Look at it! They could have wrapped it. 106 00:08:01,680 --> 00:08:04,520 - They could have... - Mr Mainwaring! 107 00:08:05,480 --> 00:08:12,640 - May I remind you that there's a German dangling from the roof? - I know! We're going up! 108 00:08:12,640 --> 00:08:18,800 - Why bother? - What? - Put the rubber ring down below to break his fall! 109 00:08:18,800 --> 00:08:23,200 Any more remarks like that and you'll leave the town hall. 110 00:08:23,200 --> 00:08:27,640 Sir! I'm volunteering to shin up that ladder! Let me! 111 00:08:27,640 --> 00:08:32,480 I think Frank ought to go up first. He IS the youngest. 112 00:08:32,480 --> 00:08:38,080 That's not fair! I can't stand heights. I'm a martyr to vertigo. 113 00:08:38,080 --> 00:08:41,800 - I'm going! - I won't let you sacrifice yourself! 114 00:08:43,360 --> 00:08:44,920 Hilfe! 115 00:08:44,920 --> 00:08:49,240 HI...LFE! 116 00:08:49,240 --> 00:08:54,040 - Hilfe! - All right, I can hear you! 117 00:08:54,040 --> 00:08:58,240 - I can hear you. I'm coming. - Hilfe! - All right! 118 00:08:58,240 --> 00:09:01,640 - All right. - Bitte, mein Herr. Bitte! 119 00:09:01,640 --> 00:09:05,280 It's no good trying to apologise! Now then! 120 00:09:05,280 --> 00:09:08,360 - Hilfe! - Handy hup! Put your hands up! 121 00:09:08,360 --> 00:09:15,080 I will, I'll get you out of here, don't worry. You stay there. Don't you move! 122 00:09:15,080 --> 00:09:20,720 - Schnell! - Never mind the smell. It's nothing to do with it. 123 00:09:20,720 --> 00:09:23,400 He's still here, sir. 124 00:09:23,400 --> 00:09:28,560 - What shall we do? - You cover him. I'll parlay with him. 125 00:09:29,800 --> 00:09:34,280 You pay attention. My captain is going to parlay you. 126 00:09:34,280 --> 00:09:37,040 Further resistance is useless! 127 00:09:39,480 --> 00:09:44,240 In the name of the King, I demand that you surrender. 128 00:09:44,240 --> 00:09:46,760 It's not easy, is it? 129 00:09:46,760 --> 00:09:54,120 - How is he? - If he's a crack Luftwaffe pilot, I'm not impressed. Looks like something the cat dragged in. 130 00:09:54,120 --> 00:09:57,680 Not smart, not like our own brave RAF boys. 131 00:09:57,680 --> 00:09:59,640 I wonder... 132 00:09:59,640 --> 00:10:05,560 - How would you feel, dangling 150 feet up? - None of that talk! 133 00:10:05,560 --> 00:10:08,920 He's in a blue funk! Pull yourself together! 134 00:10:08,920 --> 00:10:11,040 Ich kann nicht verstehen. 135 00:10:11,040 --> 00:10:16,280 - What's German for "pull yourself together"? - I've no idea, sir. 136 00:10:16,280 --> 00:10:22,760 He's in a terrible state. You feel sorry for him. He looks awful. 137 00:10:22,760 --> 00:10:27,520 - How will we get him in? - We need a pole. - Yes. 138 00:10:27,520 --> 00:10:33,480 I've an idea. If we use the hand off the clock, that should do it. 139 00:10:33,480 --> 00:10:36,240 Good idea! See if you can reach. 140 00:10:36,240 --> 00:10:42,680 - Give him a hand, Jones. - This is vandalism. You can't desecrate the clock! 141 00:10:42,680 --> 00:10:45,200 Why not? It doesn't work! 142 00:10:46,200 --> 00:10:49,040 It's been ten past three since 1939! 143 00:10:49,040 --> 00:10:54,560 - It's a German clock. - What's that? - Look on the dial. 144 00:10:56,880 --> 00:10:59,800 That settles it. Get the hand off! 145 00:10:59,800 --> 00:11:05,280 That used to be pretty. It played nursery rhymes every 15 minutes. 146 00:11:05,280 --> 00:11:09,880 - And figures used to come out and round. - Typically German. 147 00:11:09,880 --> 00:11:11,880 I can't reach. 148 00:11:11,880 --> 00:11:19,320 - Where have you BEEN, Frank? - I had to come up slowly cos the ladders wobbled. - Oh, I see. 149 00:11:19,320 --> 00:11:21,760 - He's still there? - Yes. 150 00:11:24,960 --> 00:11:27,080 Is he fighting you? 151 00:11:30,360 --> 00:11:33,160 Of course not, you stupid boy. 152 00:11:34,600 --> 00:11:38,120 I can't bring him in. I can't reach him. 153 00:11:38,120 --> 00:11:40,600 Try a wee bit further! 154 00:11:40,600 --> 00:11:46,400 - Hang on! I'm not a giraffe! If only he could swing himself. - Good idea. 155 00:11:46,400 --> 00:11:49,440 Swing yourself in here! Swing... 156 00:11:49,440 --> 00:11:53,120 - What's German for "swing"? - No idea, sir. 157 00:11:53,120 --> 00:11:58,440 - You're not contributing much! - No, sir. - TRY and take an interest! 158 00:11:58,440 --> 00:12:01,120 Hey, Fritz! Swing! 159 00:12:01,120 --> 00:12:03,760 Swing! You know, cha-cha-cha! 160 00:12:03,760 --> 00:12:05,200 < Cha-cha-cha?! 161 00:12:05,200 --> 00:12:08,440 He'll know "In the Mood". Right. 162 00:12:08,440 --> 00:12:11,080 # Mister, what d'you call it what you're doing tonight? 163 00:12:11,080 --> 00:12:15,720 ALL: # I hope you're in the mood because I'm feeling all right... # 164 00:12:18,480 --> 00:12:24,600 - He's crying. - I'm not surprised after that terrible row. - He's an idiot. 165 00:12:24,600 --> 00:12:29,680 - He doesn't understand anything. - Let's try something German. 166 00:12:29,680 --> 00:12:33,120 What about Offenbach's "Tales of Hoffmann"? 167 00:12:33,120 --> 00:12:37,680 - It has a lovely swing. - I'm not having German songs. 168 00:12:37,680 --> 00:12:41,840 We've got to get him in somehow. Ready? 169 00:12:41,840 --> 00:12:44,360 Altogether! 170 00:12:44,360 --> 00:12:49,720 # La-la la-la, la-la la-la 171 00:12:49,720 --> 00:12:57,200 - # La-la la-la, la-la... - Mr Mainwaring, there's a pole here. If I can cut it free, we can use it. 172 00:12:57,200 --> 00:13:02,840 - # La-la la-la... # - All right! That's not getting us anywhere. 173 00:13:04,160 --> 00:13:08,640 - We must get a pole from somewhere. - I've got a pole! 174 00:13:08,640 --> 00:13:13,000 - Ah... No, don't take that off! No! - It's coming! 175 00:13:14,200 --> 00:13:18,120 LOUD CRASHING 176 00:13:23,480 --> 00:13:26,200 Oh, dear! It's broken. 177 00:13:32,520 --> 00:13:38,560 Vandals! Hooligans! It took me and my men two days to rig those ladders! 178 00:13:38,560 --> 00:13:41,000 How will they get down? 179 00:13:41,000 --> 00:13:48,240 I don't know and I don't care! They can stay up there forever and starve! Ruining my ladders! 180 00:13:48,240 --> 00:13:50,320 They didn't mean to. 181 00:13:50,320 --> 00:13:53,440 You know what I'm going to do now? 182 00:13:53,440 --> 00:13:56,760 I'm going to give him a piece of my mind. 183 00:13:56,760 --> 00:13:58,320 He won't hear. 184 00:13:58,320 --> 00:13:59,360 He will! 185 00:13:59,360 --> 00:14:06,480 Because I'm going to shout loud, and when I want to shout loud, I can shout VERY LOUD INDEED! 186 00:14:07,480 --> 00:14:09,760 Don't say anything you'll regret. 187 00:14:09,760 --> 00:14:13,880 You silly old fool! We'll never get down now. 188 00:14:14,880 --> 00:14:17,480 We're marooned! Marooned! 189 00:14:20,240 --> 00:14:27,320 I'm so sorry, and I'm going to do everything you tell me to do, no matter how dangerous. 190 00:14:27,320 --> 00:14:32,080 I'll make any sacrifice in order to regurgitate myself. 191 00:14:33,080 --> 00:14:35,280 Hilfe! Hilfe! 192 00:14:35,280 --> 00:14:39,400 HILFE! 193 00:14:39,400 --> 00:14:44,840 We'll work it out. Let's get HIM in. I'm sick of him whining. 194 00:14:44,840 --> 00:14:46,520 Right, sir. 195 00:14:46,520 --> 00:14:52,160 I hope you stay up there forever, so I can enjoy this war in peace! 196 00:14:52,160 --> 00:14:59,880 Because I DO enjoy it! I've never enjoyed anything so much in my life as being chief warden. I love it! 197 00:14:59,880 --> 00:15:02,400 And YOU always spoil it! 198 00:15:02,400 --> 00:15:06,360 He'll never hear you. You need a megaphone. 199 00:15:06,360 --> 00:15:09,200 The Germans make good megaphones... 200 00:15:09,200 --> 00:15:14,720 ..loudspeakers, radios, gramophones. Very good gramophones... 201 00:15:14,720 --> 00:15:16,960 Shut up, you silly old fool! 202 00:15:16,960 --> 00:15:21,520 How dare you? You're a very common, rude and nasty fellow! 203 00:15:21,520 --> 00:15:23,280 Don't start! 204 00:15:23,280 --> 00:15:27,400 Hello, Mr Hodges. Look! He hasn't fallen. 205 00:15:27,400 --> 00:15:30,920 It's not too late. We haven't missed anything. 206 00:15:30,920 --> 00:15:33,440 - Pass auf! - Pull! - Pass auf! 207 00:15:33,440 --> 00:15:36,600 FRAZER: You'll break his leg! 208 00:15:36,600 --> 00:15:39,160 Well, he shouldn't have come! 209 00:15:39,160 --> 00:15:41,280 WALKER: I've got him. 210 00:15:41,280 --> 00:15:43,200 Langsam! Langsam! 211 00:15:43,200 --> 00:15:46,840 You'll have to release him from the parachute. 212 00:15:46,840 --> 00:15:49,840 - How? - PIKE: I know. See that buckle? 213 00:15:49,840 --> 00:15:53,040 There turn it to the left, then hit it. 214 00:15:53,040 --> 00:15:59,440 - I saw it in a film Googie Withers was in it. GOOGIE WITHERS! - All right! Never mind. 215 00:15:59,440 --> 00:16:05,120 Sir, I should like to turn the German to the left and punch him. 216 00:16:05,120 --> 00:16:07,600 - Let me! - Get on with it! 217 00:16:12,200 --> 00:16:13,240 Aaah! 218 00:16:13,240 --> 00:16:15,440 It won't open, sir. 219 00:16:17,760 --> 00:16:20,920 - Nein! - You got to be cruel to be kind. 220 00:16:20,920 --> 00:16:28,080 A turn to the left is on British parachutes. They have a left-hand thread on the continent. 221 00:16:28,080 --> 00:16:31,600 Typically foreign! Turn it to the right! 222 00:16:31,600 --> 00:16:33,760 Nein! Nein! 223 00:16:33,760 --> 00:16:36,960 Jones is hitting the German! 224 00:16:36,960 --> 00:16:39,040 Where? 225 00:16:39,040 --> 00:16:41,360 Right across the gargoyles! 226 00:16:41,360 --> 00:16:44,720 That's not in the Geneva Convention. 227 00:16:44,720 --> 00:16:46,880 It's very near it! 228 00:16:48,800 --> 00:16:53,000 More of our brave lads! Give a cheer! CROWD: HURRAY! 229 00:16:53,000 --> 00:16:58,080 What's happening, Mr Godfrey? Mr Mainwaring's marooned up there! 230 00:16:58,080 --> 00:17:00,640 Better get him down. Mr Hodges? 231 00:17:00,640 --> 00:17:04,560 Don't ask ME to help. I won't discuss it. 232 00:17:04,560 --> 00:17:06,400 - I - know how. 233 00:17:06,400 --> 00:17:08,520 How, Vicar? 234 00:17:08,520 --> 00:17:15,200 By using my skill. Help me carry my paraphernalia. Very well. 235 00:17:16,960 --> 00:17:20,720 Gott sei Dank! Vielen Dank, mein Herr! 236 00:17:20,720 --> 00:17:24,640 None of those foreign tricks. Cover him, Jones. 237 00:17:24,640 --> 00:17:31,120 Watch it! Just cos I haven't got a bayonet, doesn't make any difference. 238 00:17:31,120 --> 00:17:33,280 Now, I'm going to... 239 00:17:34,520 --> 00:17:38,720 - I'm going to drop this note... - Yes? - ..over the side. - I see. 240 00:17:38,720 --> 00:17:45,440 It won't go straight down. Do you realise that? It's bound to flutter for miles. 241 00:17:46,600 --> 00:17:50,120 - Well done, Wilson. Just testing you. - Ah. 242 00:17:51,280 --> 00:17:54,040 Mr Mainwaring? This'll do the trick. 243 00:17:54,040 --> 00:17:55,640 Ah. 244 00:18:01,280 --> 00:18:03,360 Madman! That could've killed me! 245 00:18:04,680 --> 00:18:06,880 There's a message. 246 00:18:08,160 --> 00:18:11,080 Right! Now I'll send HIM a message. 247 00:18:19,280 --> 00:18:21,880 You could have killed someone. 248 00:18:21,880 --> 00:18:27,320 - I was only using my initiative. - Look! Hodges is chalking a reply. 249 00:18:27,320 --> 00:18:31,640 - What did yours say, sir? - "How will we get down?" 250 00:18:31,640 --> 00:18:33,960 What does he say? 251 00:18:33,960 --> 00:18:37,160 "How...will...you... get...down?" 252 00:18:40,840 --> 00:18:43,400 CROWD: Ooh! Madman! 253 00:18:43,400 --> 00:18:48,720 - What was the message? - None at all. I was aiming at the warden. - Good. 254 00:18:49,680 --> 00:18:54,200 Clearly we'll get no help. We must use our initiative, 255 00:18:54,200 --> 00:18:58,280 and...and work out our own salvation. 256 00:19:01,760 --> 00:19:08,720 Captain Mainwaring, why not have each of us suggest a way down, then you pick the best? 257 00:19:09,760 --> 00:19:14,320 Well...it's worth a try, I suppose. Better than nothing. 258 00:19:14,320 --> 00:19:16,640 - Mr Mainwaring? - Yes? 259 00:19:16,640 --> 00:19:20,520 If we got the parachute, we could float down. 260 00:19:26,200 --> 00:19:28,000 - Sir? - Yes? 261 00:19:28,000 --> 00:19:32,760 MUFFLED SHOUTS AND ECHOES 262 00:19:32,760 --> 00:19:34,400 Oh, dear...! 263 00:19:34,400 --> 00:19:40,680 If we pulled the parachute in, we could tear it into strips, and plait it, 264 00:19:40,680 --> 00:19:43,880 make a long rope, then slide down it. 265 00:19:45,360 --> 00:19:47,800 What are you sniggering at? 266 00:19:47,800 --> 00:19:50,840 It sounds like a bit of a platitude. 267 00:19:55,320 --> 00:19:58,000 - Captain Mainwaring? - Yes? 268 00:19:59,240 --> 00:20:02,800 I mind the time, many, many years ago... 269 00:20:02,800 --> 00:20:06,760 ..on the furthest point of the Western Isles... 270 00:20:06,760 --> 00:20:10,600 Two brave lighthouse-keepers were marooned. 271 00:20:10,600 --> 00:20:15,360 Their stair had collapsed, and THEY were cut off. 272 00:20:15,360 --> 00:20:18,600 WHISPERS: Just like us... 273 00:20:18,600 --> 00:20:22,640 Well...they were up there for two long months, 274 00:20:22,640 --> 00:20:28,160 and in the end they decided there was only one way to get down. 275 00:20:28,160 --> 00:20:30,440 And what was that? 276 00:20:30,440 --> 00:20:33,560 They dismantled the lighthouse... 277 00:20:33,560 --> 00:20:36,640 ..brick by brick... 278 00:20:40,360 --> 00:20:42,880 That's not very sensible. 279 00:20:42,880 --> 00:20:47,280 Maybe not. Don't forget, they'd been up there so long... 280 00:20:47,280 --> 00:20:51,080 ..well, they'd both gone quite mad... 281 00:20:53,560 --> 00:20:56,280 Did you hear me? Mad... 282 00:20:57,280 --> 00:20:58,880 MAD! 283 00:20:58,880 --> 00:21:00,080 MAD! 284 00:21:03,440 --> 00:21:06,200 It's your turn, Wilson. 285 00:21:06,200 --> 00:21:11,720 I'm thinking of a fairy story that my old nanny used to tell. 286 00:21:11,720 --> 00:21:14,160 Yes... 287 00:21:14,160 --> 00:21:17,560 A beautiful princess was locked in a tower. 288 00:21:17,560 --> 00:21:22,160 She was rescued by a handsome prince. You know how he did it? 289 00:21:22,160 --> 00:21:23,520 No idea. 290 00:21:23,520 --> 00:21:31,520 He shot an arrow to the top of the tower. Attached to it was a piece of twine, and eventually a rope. 291 00:21:31,520 --> 00:21:38,320 She pulled them all up, and the prince was able to climb up and rescue her. 292 00:21:38,320 --> 00:21:42,200 There you are... Wasn't that nice? 293 00:21:47,960 --> 00:21:51,240 I don't think I can take much more... 294 00:21:51,240 --> 00:21:53,440 It's like a bad dream. 295 00:21:53,440 --> 00:21:59,080 - Walker? Say something sensible, for heaven's sake! - Let's use this rope. 296 00:21:59,080 --> 00:22:01,160 - What rope? - This rope. 297 00:22:01,160 --> 00:22:08,920 There's a weight on it. If we wind it up, then put it down there, then wind it down, we can climb down it. 298 00:22:08,920 --> 00:22:15,200 Well done! I saw it some time ago I was wondering who would spot it first. 299 00:22:15,200 --> 00:22:18,640 - Wind it up. Come and help, Pike. - Yes, sir. 300 00:22:18,640 --> 00:22:24,360 It ain't half stiff. It certainly is. 301 00:22:24,360 --> 00:22:27,680 There's a brake on it. Knock it off, will you? 302 00:22:27,680 --> 00:22:33,160 - Yes, righty-ho. - Give me your hand. - That'll be all right, yes. 303 00:22:33,160 --> 00:22:36,720 - PIKE: Careful. - I can manage it all right. 304 00:22:39,720 --> 00:22:42,960 - Now we're getting somewhere! - That's it. 305 00:22:42,960 --> 00:22:44,040 BONG! 306 00:22:44,040 --> 00:22:48,080 Muffle the bell! People will think it's an invasion! 307 00:23:01,000 --> 00:23:04,960 - BELLS PLAY: "Pop Goes the Weasel." - Don't panic! 308 00:23:04,960 --> 00:23:07,760 DON'T PANIC! 309 00:23:07,760 --> 00:23:09,200 Aaagh! 310 00:23:09,200 --> 00:23:11,960 - I'm out! - Careful, sir! 311 00:23:12,960 --> 00:23:16,640 It's stopped! It's not supposed to do that! 312 00:23:16,640 --> 00:23:21,760 - It should go round and in again. - Aaah! - Careful! 313 00:23:23,080 --> 00:23:28,200 - What am I going to do? - Stay there until it chimes again. 314 00:23:28,200 --> 00:23:31,800 I can't! It's a bit nefarious up here! 315 00:23:31,800 --> 00:23:37,640 WALKER: Get hold of the hand, move it 15 minutes, and it should start. 316 00:23:37,640 --> 00:23:40,680 - Right. - Careful, for heaven's sake. 317 00:23:40,680 --> 00:23:43,840 Careful, for heaven's sake, Jonesy! 318 00:23:43,840 --> 00:23:46,960 I'm going to be careful, I'm going to be... 319 00:23:46,960 --> 00:23:48,360 JONES! 320 00:23:48,360 --> 00:23:50,360 Careful... 321 00:23:50,360 --> 00:23:53,120 - Have you got it? - Yes. 322 00:23:53,120 --> 00:23:56,040 It's a bit stiff. Wait a minute. 323 00:23:56,040 --> 00:23:58,640 Come on, hurry up! 324 00:23:58,640 --> 00:24:03,400 - Jonesy! - All right! I'm being as quick as I can. 325 00:24:03,400 --> 00:24:04,760 Aaaagh! 326 00:24:04,760 --> 00:24:08,240 - Jones! - Aaagh! Aaagh! 327 00:24:08,240 --> 00:24:10,520 Someone grab him! 328 00:24:12,520 --> 00:24:14,560 Help! Help! 329 00:24:14,560 --> 00:24:17,160 I've done it! I've done it! 330 00:24:17,160 --> 00:24:19,160 Well done! 331 00:24:19,160 --> 00:24:21,200 BONG! 332 00:24:22,480 --> 00:24:25,480 The bell! Pike! 333 00:24:34,440 --> 00:24:35,800 Damn! 334 00:24:37,720 --> 00:24:42,880 - It's ruined! It cost me 8s 6d in 1911! - Time you had a new one! 335 00:24:42,880 --> 00:24:47,680 - WALKER: You should be coming in now, Jonesy. - Come on. 336 00:25:03,040 --> 00:25:04,760 Ow! Ow! 337 00:25:04,760 --> 00:25:06,040 Ow! 338 00:25:06,040 --> 00:25:07,640 Ow! 339 00:25:07,640 --> 00:25:08,760 Ow! 340 00:25:08,760 --> 00:25:09,920 Ow! 341 00:25:09,920 --> 00:25:12,440 - Ow! - Don't make such a fuss! 342 00:25:12,440 --> 00:25:15,200 It's only a wooden sword. 343 00:25:15,200 --> 00:25:18,000 I do not like it. I don't! 344 00:25:19,960 --> 00:25:23,320 Come on, Jonesy. Back you come. Come on. 345 00:25:25,720 --> 00:25:28,400 Mind your head. 346 00:25:28,400 --> 00:25:31,960 - Get him off. Get him off, quickly! - Oh! 347 00:25:33,240 --> 00:25:36,280 - PIKE: Are you all right? - Yes. 348 00:25:38,400 --> 00:25:41,200 - BONG! BONG! - Do the necessary! 349 00:25:56,640 --> 00:25:59,200 Be careful, for heaven's sake. 350 00:25:59,200 --> 00:26:03,960 Don't you worry! I'm not making that mistake twice. 351 00:26:03,960 --> 00:26:06,640 CONFUSED SHOUTS 352 00:26:07,840 --> 00:26:11,120 Look at that! There used to be three... 353 00:26:11,120 --> 00:26:13,200 I don't know... Aaagh! 354 00:26:13,200 --> 00:26:17,440 Aaagh! It's the reaper! The reaper! The reaper! 355 00:26:17,440 --> 00:26:21,280 I'm being reaped! I'm being reaped, sir! 356 00:26:21,280 --> 00:26:24,840 - What shall I do? - Stay there till they go back. 357 00:26:24,840 --> 00:26:28,120 - I can't! - WALKER: They're coming back. 358 00:26:28,120 --> 00:26:31,640 SHOUTING 359 00:26:41,800 --> 00:26:44,840 And don't go out there again! 360 00:26:44,840 --> 00:26:50,360 - I didn't do it on purpose! They made me! - Pull yourself together! 361 00:26:50,360 --> 00:26:57,200 I want some sensible suggestions on how to get down better than the last ones! 362 00:26:58,720 --> 00:27:01,600 - And yours was the stupidest! - Really? 363 00:27:02,640 --> 00:27:05,040 KERRANG! 364 00:27:05,040 --> 00:27:09,960 Look at that, sir! Good heavens! Good lord, what's this? 365 00:27:09,960 --> 00:27:13,920 "Attached to the arrow is a length of thread... 366 00:27:13,920 --> 00:27:20,000 "..and then some twine, and attached to the twine is a rope." 367 00:27:20,000 --> 00:27:22,440 Isn't that nice? 368 00:27:22,440 --> 00:27:25,840 How clever! However did you think of that? 369 00:27:25,840 --> 00:27:28,520 A fairy story my nanny told. 370 00:27:28,520 --> 00:27:31,600 I'd heard you're an expert on fairies!