1 00:00:02,440 --> 00:00:07,480 # Who do you think you are kidding, Mr Hitler, 2 00:00:07,480 --> 00:00:10,960 # If you think we're on the run? 3 00:00:12,240 --> 00:00:17,240 # We are the boys Who will stop your little game, 4 00:00:17,240 --> 00:00:21,880 # We are the boys Who will make you think again, 5 00:00:21,880 --> 00:00:26,880 # cos who do you think You are kidding, Mr Hitler, 6 00:00:26,880 --> 00:00:31,800 # If you think old England's done? 7 00:00:31,800 --> 00:00:36,560 # Mr Brown goes off to town On the 8.21 8 00:00:36,560 --> 00:00:41,400 # But he comes home each evening And he's ready with his gun! 9 00:00:41,400 --> 00:00:46,400 # So who do you think You are kidding, Mr Hitler, 10 00:00:46,400 --> 00:00:50,880 # If you think old England's done? # 11 00:00:51,840 --> 00:00:55,880 GUNSHOTS 12 00:00:59,880 --> 00:01:05,880 - Don't jerk the trigger, Pikey. Squeeze it like a lemon! - A lemon? 13 00:01:05,880 --> 00:01:08,440 Yes, Mr Jones. 14 00:01:11,480 --> 00:01:14,520 That's rather good, Frank. 15 00:01:14,520 --> 00:01:19,840 We're improving. They'll be calling us Mr Mainwaring's Sharpshooters! 16 00:01:24,160 --> 00:01:26,720 Your turn now, Captain Mainwaring. 17 00:01:26,720 --> 00:01:33,720 - What have I got to beat? - Frazer's got the best score - two bulls, two inners and one outer. 18 00:01:33,720 --> 00:01:36,240 I think we can improve on that! 19 00:01:36,240 --> 00:01:38,800 Would you like a wee wager? 20 00:01:38,800 --> 00:01:41,280 Yes! I don't mind. 21 00:01:41,280 --> 00:01:44,320 - A shilling? - Make it ten. 22 00:01:45,360 --> 00:01:49,400 - Rather a lot of money. - Backing down? - No! 23 00:01:49,400 --> 00:01:51,960 I'll do the spotting, sir. 24 00:01:55,600 --> 00:02:01,240 Who's in charge? Captain Mainwaring the one shooting the gun. 25 00:02:01,240 --> 00:02:07,320 You're doing ever so well, Captain. That's two bulls and one inner. 26 00:02:13,360 --> 00:02:15,400 U-hmm! 27 00:02:16,840 --> 00:02:18,880 Missed! 28 00:02:28,120 --> 00:02:30,160 U-hmm! 29 00:02:31,240 --> 00:02:33,400 Missed! 30 00:02:36,360 --> 00:02:39,040 What ARE you doing? Who are you? 31 00:02:39,040 --> 00:02:44,040 I'm the butler from the big hall. I've a message from His Lordship. 32 00:02:44,040 --> 00:02:48,880 He says he's taking his nap so will you stop shooting. 33 00:02:48,880 --> 00:02:55,720 Doesn't he know we're at war? If he doesn't like noise, why does he have a range? 34 00:02:55,720 --> 00:03:00,440 The range is for real soldiers. You're only here on sufferance! 35 00:03:00,440 --> 00:03:05,240 So will you kindly jack it in, my good man? 36 00:03:08,840 --> 00:03:11,640 I'll take my ten shillings now! 37 00:03:14,840 --> 00:03:19,400 What a terrible day. I've never been so humiliated. 38 00:03:19,400 --> 00:03:22,560 - Don't take it too seriously. - What? 39 00:03:22,560 --> 00:03:26,600 It was rather amusing. We're NOT real soldiers! 40 00:03:26,600 --> 00:03:29,440 Don't stand up for that butler! 41 00:03:29,440 --> 00:03:33,600 He was only doing his job. His Lordship wanted a nap. 42 00:03:33,600 --> 00:03:42,760 - I can remember a cousin of mine with his butler... - Oh, yes! You privileged classes stick together! 43 00:03:43,800 --> 00:03:46,320 Things will change after the war! 44 00:03:46,320 --> 00:03:53,840 The common man will come forward. Professionals will run the country, doctors, lawyers...bank managers! 45 00:03:54,800 --> 00:03:58,920 - And people like you! - Yes, people like me. 46 00:03:58,920 --> 00:04:01,960 You mean common! 47 00:04:01,960 --> 00:04:04,720 Now watch it, Wilson. 48 00:04:04,720 --> 00:04:09,760 - I didn't know you were a socialist. - How dare you! 49 00:04:09,760 --> 00:04:12,080 Take that back! 50 00:04:12,080 --> 00:04:17,400 But you said that the country would be run by common men like you. 51 00:04:17,400 --> 00:04:22,440 I said nothing about common men. I said THE common man. 52 00:04:22,440 --> 00:04:31,200 - People who succeed through effort not because father has a title. Their day's over. - What'll they do? 53 00:04:31,200 --> 00:04:40,080 - They'll go to work! We'll have democracy! - And if they disagree? - They'll have no say in the matter! 54 00:04:40,080 --> 00:04:42,600 I'm not having it! 55 00:04:42,600 --> 00:04:46,400 - I am not having it! - What's wrong? 56 00:04:46,400 --> 00:04:51,440 Bluett was using this stirrup pump on his greenfly! 57 00:04:51,440 --> 00:04:55,000 'Ere, give me my stirrup pump back! 58 00:04:55,000 --> 00:04:59,560 No. You abused it. It's mine to abuse! 59 00:04:59,560 --> 00:05:04,080 It's not yours. It's on loan. I'm having it back! 60 00:05:04,080 --> 00:05:06,680 Let go of that! How dare you? 61 00:05:06,680 --> 00:05:12,640 You wouldn't have done that to me if I was 57 years younger! 62 00:05:12,640 --> 00:05:18,120 - Stop bullying poor old Mr Bluett! - Soapy water corrodes the washer. 63 00:05:18,120 --> 00:05:23,840 I've been using soapy water for 80 years and it hasn't corroded me! 64 00:05:23,840 --> 00:05:26,880 You are NOT having it back! 65 00:05:26,880 --> 00:05:30,880 I hate you...! What? 66 00:05:30,880 --> 00:05:37,520 I hate you! And I'm not alone! Do you know what the kids do behind your back? 67 00:05:37,520 --> 00:05:40,320 "Put that light out!" 68 00:05:42,520 --> 00:05:45,560 "Put that light out!" 69 00:05:48,960 --> 00:05:51,520 I don't believe it. 70 00:05:51,520 --> 00:05:54,600 See? He's got feet of clay. 71 00:05:54,600 --> 00:05:58,000 I think perhaps I should go, Mr Bluett. 72 00:05:58,000 --> 00:06:01,040 He's not having my pump, though! 73 00:06:02,200 --> 00:06:06,760 The bigger they are, the harder they fall. 74 00:06:06,760 --> 00:06:10,320 "Put that light out!" Leave me alone! 75 00:06:12,080 --> 00:06:17,160 I can't stand it! I can't take any more, Napoleon! 76 00:06:17,160 --> 00:06:23,240 - Everyone hates me. Nobody's taking the war seriously. - I agree with you. 77 00:06:24,440 --> 00:06:32,040 Well, there hasn't been an invasion these two years. People think we're wasting our time. 78 00:06:32,040 --> 00:06:37,760 That's what Germany wants lull us into a false sense of security. 79 00:06:37,760 --> 00:06:40,320 Something has to be done about it! 80 00:06:40,320 --> 00:06:44,360 - KNOCKING - Come in. ..Yes? 81 00:06:44,360 --> 00:06:46,840 Will you see a deputation, sir? 82 00:06:46,840 --> 00:06:48,960 Oh. Very well. 83 00:06:48,960 --> 00:06:56,160 Thanks very much, sir. Deputation, into the office, at the double, quick march! 84 00:06:59,320 --> 00:07:02,200 Deputation...halt! 85 00:07:02,200 --> 00:07:10,440 - What's this about? - Well, after this afternoon's humiliating experience, the men's morale is at rock bottom. 86 00:07:11,560 --> 00:07:18,120 Do you know what they're calling us in the town...? The Geriatric Fusiliers! 87 00:07:20,960 --> 00:07:24,520 And in some cases... they're right. 88 00:07:27,360 --> 00:07:35,360 - Mr Mainwaring, my mum says that home guard training is turning Uncle Arthur into a brute. - Frank! 89 00:07:35,360 --> 00:07:41,960 - You got cross with the washing-up and broke a cup in the sink! - All right! 90 00:07:41,960 --> 00:07:46,800 We've got to make this town appreciate the home guard. 91 00:07:46,800 --> 00:07:55,960 Well, I look at it this way, sir our job is to stop Germans roaming the country, ravishing our maidens. 92 00:07:57,760 --> 00:08:05,600 - Well... - Do you remember when we took part in that training film dressed as German soldiers? - Yes. 93 00:08:05,600 --> 00:08:08,520 The whole county thought we was the real thing! 94 00:08:08,520 --> 00:08:12,040 Yes, and you had to see the area commander. 95 00:08:12,040 --> 00:08:15,240 What did he say to you, sir? 96 00:08:15,240 --> 00:08:18,480 I don't wish to discuss that! 97 00:08:18,480 --> 00:08:27,280 We should dress as fifth columnists and roam the countryside and that would give the town a fright! 98 00:08:27,280 --> 00:08:32,680 Ah, no...! I think you're getting into the realms of fantasy, Jones. 99 00:08:34,200 --> 00:08:37,760 Wait that might do the trick. 100 00:08:37,760 --> 00:08:42,080 I don't want to roam around ravishing maidens! 101 00:08:45,040 --> 00:08:50,800 - What do you think? - It wouldn't work. The Army would be onto us like a shot. 102 00:08:50,800 --> 00:08:53,320 Not if GHQ already knew about it. 103 00:08:53,320 --> 00:08:57,760 Can I come, Napoleon? No! We don't want him! 104 00:08:57,760 --> 00:09:06,800 - Like us, Mr Hodges has been reviled for going about his duty. Yes, you can join us, Hodges. - FRAZER: No...! 105 00:09:06,800 --> 00:09:13,040 - We'll shake the complacency out of the town. - We'll give them a fright! 106 00:09:13,040 --> 00:09:16,520 # We must all stick together... # 107 00:09:16,520 --> 00:09:20,520 I'm not happy about the idea, Mainwaring! 108 00:09:20,520 --> 00:09:23,960 But we should dispel apathy, sir. 109 00:09:23,960 --> 00:09:32,520 Hmm. When I inspected the Dymchurch platoon, so many men were absent it was like walking down a fish queue. 110 00:09:32,520 --> 00:09:36,960 Ha... Well, there you are, you see. 111 00:09:36,960 --> 00:09:40,600 Well, all right, but keep me informed! 112 00:09:40,600 --> 00:09:45,480 I'm going to call it Operation Wake-Up Walmington-On-Sea. 113 00:09:45,480 --> 00:09:48,400 Just call it Operation Wake-Up. 114 00:09:48,400 --> 00:09:51,480 - Will do. - Where's your HQ? 115 00:09:51,480 --> 00:09:57,400 In the old flour mill. I've asked the men to rendezvous there after dark on Saturday night. 116 00:09:57,400 --> 00:10:01,560 I've said not to shave and to look suspicious. 117 00:10:01,560 --> 00:10:09,080 - What are they going to wear? - They're going to be dressed as fifth columnists... 118 00:10:10,360 --> 00:10:14,920 What do fifth columnists wear? I've never met one. 119 00:10:14,920 --> 00:10:17,960 Oooh, er, something very sinister. 120 00:10:17,960 --> 00:10:23,840 I've also said to get dressed up as cut-throats and desperados. 121 00:10:23,840 --> 00:10:29,160 - I see. Well, good luck, Mainwaring. - Thank you, sir. 122 00:10:29,160 --> 00:10:32,200 Cut-throats and desperados...? 123 00:10:33,200 --> 00:10:36,520 # You started something, 124 00:10:36,520 --> 00:10:39,480 # Yes, you did, but you didn't... # 125 00:10:57,360 --> 00:10:59,880 Where's the light switch? 126 00:11:26,840 --> 00:11:30,480 Operator, Walmington 382, please. 127 00:11:30,480 --> 00:11:34,120 What...? What's my number? Oh... 128 00:11:38,560 --> 00:11:40,680 633. 129 00:11:40,680 --> 00:11:45,320 PHONE RINGS Hello? 130 00:11:45,320 --> 00:11:49,240 - Wake-Up! Roger! - Eh? 131 00:11:52,120 --> 00:11:54,960 Wake-Up! Roger! 132 00:11:54,960 --> 00:11:58,600 I'm not Roger and I haven't been asleep. 133 00:11:58,600 --> 00:12:04,000 - Who is this? - It's me...the verger. 134 00:12:04,000 --> 00:12:07,200 Where's Godfrey? 135 00:12:07,200 --> 00:12:10,360 Out. He's asked me to mind the phone. 136 00:12:10,360 --> 00:12:15,720 He'd no business to pop out. When he returns, give him this message - 137 00:12:15,720 --> 00:12:19,000 Operation Wake-Up. Roger. 138 00:12:19,000 --> 00:12:24,760 And tell him to ring Walmington 633 at once. Have you got that? 139 00:12:24,760 --> 00:12:29,400 Yes, I've got it 6-3-3. 140 00:12:33,920 --> 00:12:39,960 Captain Mainwaring's been on. He left a message. What was it? 141 00:12:39,960 --> 00:12:47,520 Ah! Yes, let me see. Someone named Roger is going to have an operation and you've got to ring that number. 142 00:12:49,800 --> 00:12:53,040 It must be the hospital. Oh, dear. 143 00:12:53,040 --> 00:12:55,480 633. 144 00:12:56,880 --> 00:12:59,440 Could you get me 633, please? 145 00:12:59,440 --> 00:13:02,520 Could be appendicitis! 146 00:13:02,520 --> 00:13:05,840 RINGING 147 00:13:05,840 --> 00:13:09,360 - Is that the hospital? - What?! 148 00:13:10,760 --> 00:13:13,280 Is that you, Godfrey? 149 00:13:13,280 --> 00:13:15,760 How's Roger? Will he be all right? 150 00:13:17,920 --> 00:13:20,480 What are you babbling about? 151 00:13:20,480 --> 00:13:27,200 I had a message that Roger had appendicitis and had to have an operation. 152 00:13:34,840 --> 00:13:42,200 - The message was that Operation Wake-Up has started. - O-oh, Operation Wake-Up... 153 00:13:42,200 --> 00:13:49,160 - Now stand by that phone and don't go to sleep! - I got that part of the message! 154 00:14:03,400 --> 00:14:05,440 Sir. 155 00:14:06,680 --> 00:14:11,720 Take off that eye patch. I thought of that first. 156 00:14:11,720 --> 00:14:18,200 - You cannae wear one with glasses! - I know! I'll take the glasses off. 157 00:14:18,200 --> 00:14:26,720 Why don't you wear this over the other eye...? Then you'd look very suspicious! 158 00:14:28,160 --> 00:14:31,200 Now watch it, Frazer. 159 00:14:50,520 --> 00:14:53,040 What game are you playing? 160 00:14:53,040 --> 00:14:59,040 Do you like it? I copied it from a photograph of Edward G Robinson. 161 00:14:59,040 --> 00:15:02,400 Brush the chalk off it. 162 00:15:02,400 --> 00:15:05,760 But we have to look like desperados! 163 00:15:05,760 --> 00:15:09,120 Yes, but not like American gangsters. 164 00:15:24,760 --> 00:15:30,240 - Do you think that fits the bill? - I think it looks absurd. 165 00:15:30,240 --> 00:15:35,200 Well, you told us to look as suspicious as possible. 166 00:15:35,200 --> 00:15:40,640 There's a difference between suspicious and absurd. Where did you get it? 167 00:15:40,640 --> 00:15:46,160 - I used to wear it at the Tramps' Ball at the Savoy. - Oh, really...? 168 00:15:46,160 --> 00:15:49,360 I've never seen anything look so stupid in my life. 169 00:15:49,360 --> 00:15:54,880 It's better than wearing an eye patch with glasses. 170 00:15:54,880 --> 00:15:57,440 - Wilson... - Sir? 171 00:15:57,440 --> 00:16:01,080 I can understand Pike wearing something stupid... 172 00:16:02,840 --> 00:16:06,520 Very young boy. Vivid imagination. 173 00:16:06,520 --> 00:16:09,280 Thinks everything's a game. 174 00:16:16,440 --> 00:16:21,440 But I think you've dressed like that simply to annoy me. 175 00:16:23,080 --> 00:16:28,600 - Get those gloves and that hat off. - All right. If you insist. 176 00:16:32,360 --> 00:16:35,800 MR HODGES WHISTLES "The Stripper" 177 00:16:44,360 --> 00:16:46,400 Oh, Lord! 178 00:16:50,800 --> 00:16:54,720 Bet you didn't know it was me, sir! 179 00:16:54,720 --> 00:16:57,680 You've gone too far. 180 00:16:57,680 --> 00:17:04,280 Let me be a nun. The papers say everyone's dressing up as a nun. 181 00:17:04,280 --> 00:17:11,280 - Just get it off. - But I've ordinary clothes on underneath. I shan't look peculiar. 182 00:17:11,280 --> 00:17:14,160 I wouldnae say that, son. 183 00:17:14,160 --> 00:17:18,360 All right! Now settle down, the lot of you. 184 00:17:18,360 --> 00:17:25,520 Make yourselves comfortable. There are plenty of sacks. We move at first light. 185 00:17:25,520 --> 00:17:30,400 # Moonlight becomes you, 186 00:17:30,400 --> 00:17:34,000 # It goes with your hair... # 187 00:17:34,000 --> 00:17:36,480 Platoon, halt! 188 00:17:36,480 --> 00:17:40,080 We don't look suspicious or furtive enough. 189 00:17:40,080 --> 00:17:45,120 Yes, well, if I were to turn my collar up like this... 190 00:17:45,120 --> 00:17:47,640 make my eyes shifty like this... 191 00:17:47,640 --> 00:17:50,280 Any good? 192 00:17:50,280 --> 00:17:57,840 - Not really. Jones, tell the men to march like a rabble, in a shifty, furtive manner. - Sir! 193 00:17:57,840 --> 00:18:03,720 Platoon, in shifty and furtive manner, like rabble, quick march! 194 00:18:07,080 --> 00:18:12,960 Halt...! Jones, stop that truck and ask where the aerodrome is. 195 00:18:12,960 --> 00:18:17,640 - I'll put on a German accent. - Very good idea. 196 00:18:17,640 --> 00:18:19,680 Halt! 197 00:18:19,680 --> 00:18:21,800 Halt! 198 00:18:21,800 --> 00:18:25,040 Fool! I nearly ran you over! 199 00:18:25,040 --> 00:18:29,000 I vant to know, vhere is ze aerodrome? 200 00:18:29,000 --> 00:18:33,120 - What aerodrome? - Er...any aerodrome. 201 00:18:33,120 --> 00:18:36,080 You heard him! Vhere is it? 202 00:18:36,080 --> 00:18:38,560 Foreigners! You're barmy! 203 00:18:38,560 --> 00:18:42,600 Don't take that tone with me, my man! 204 00:18:52,840 --> 00:18:57,480 Mr Mainwaring... you look even more suspicious now! 205 00:18:59,520 --> 00:19:04,560 We're getting nowhere at this rate. We've got to do something drastic. 206 00:19:04,560 --> 00:19:11,480 When somebody comes by, let's hit Hodges. We'll look like we're extracting information. 207 00:19:11,480 --> 00:19:15,440 Good idea. I'll go first. No! 208 00:19:15,440 --> 00:19:22,040 - We shall only pretend. - That's right. We'll just pretend like this. 209 00:19:22,040 --> 00:19:24,040 That hurt! 210 00:19:24,040 --> 00:19:26,520 Something's coming. 211 00:19:26,520 --> 00:19:33,360 Right, Frazer, Wilson! You two, grab hold of him. Pike, Jones, start interrogating him. 212 00:19:33,360 --> 00:19:39,480 - PIKE USES AMERICAN ACCENT: You'd better talk! - Stupid boy! 213 00:19:41,000 --> 00:19:43,960 - So you von't talk, hah? - Hit him! 214 00:19:43,960 --> 00:19:47,320 Hey! What's going on? 215 00:19:47,320 --> 00:19:53,160 - Ve are asking ze questions! - Ve vant answers! - Oooh! 216 00:19:53,160 --> 00:19:55,680 What do you want to know? 217 00:19:55,680 --> 00:19:58,680 - Don't tell 'em! - Shut up! 218 00:19:58,680 --> 00:20:02,040 They're fifth columnists! 219 00:20:02,040 --> 00:20:05,200 Rubbish! That's Mr Jones, the butcher. 220 00:20:05,200 --> 00:20:08,440 How did you know who I was? 221 00:20:08,440 --> 00:20:12,320 I live in Walmington! I know you all! 222 00:20:12,320 --> 00:20:20,400 And I know you! The last time I was in your shop, you short-changed me. I've been waiting for this. 223 00:20:21,120 --> 00:20:23,160 Oo-oh! 224 00:20:30,520 --> 00:20:33,080 Come on, back to the ship. 225 00:20:33,080 --> 00:20:38,920 Sailing tonight, are you? Now, careless talk costs lives! 226 00:20:38,920 --> 00:20:45,720 Sorry! Go to the crossroads. You can hitch a lift to Dover. It's only 20 miles. 227 00:20:45,720 --> 00:20:48,280 Thanks. Come on, Frenchy. 228 00:20:48,280 --> 00:20:51,320 Au revoir, mes amis. Good luck. 229 00:20:52,400 --> 00:20:54,960 French! Mmm. 230 00:20:58,920 --> 00:21:01,600 You done that deliberate! You held me while he hit me! 231 00:21:01,600 --> 00:21:04,080 Shut up! It was your own fault! 232 00:21:04,080 --> 00:21:09,240 - Serves you right. You give us shopkeepers a bad name. - Halt! 233 00:21:09,240 --> 00:21:15,760 - This is absurd. Nobody's taking any notice of us. - Try them men over there. 234 00:21:17,640 --> 00:21:23,880 - Good idea! And this time, I'll do the talking. - In a German accent? - No! 235 00:21:31,840 --> 00:21:34,360 Where's the aerodrome? 236 00:21:46,400 --> 00:21:48,960 Just a minute. 237 00:21:50,720 --> 00:21:55,120 - Those men look very suspicious. - They do! - More fifth columnists? 238 00:21:55,120 --> 00:21:59,440 - They're dressed like us. They must be. - We can't be certain. 239 00:21:59,440 --> 00:22:04,680 - ­ We should ask to see their papers. - You're quite right. 240 00:22:04,680 --> 00:22:06,720 Come on. 241 00:22:06,720 --> 00:22:10,760 - Who are you? - Who are YOU? 242 00:22:10,760 --> 00:22:15,800 - Why are you dressed like that? - Why are you? - Stop repeating me! 243 00:22:15,800 --> 00:22:18,840 - They look like spies. - How absurd! 244 00:22:18,840 --> 00:22:23,840 - Show us your papers. - Show us yours. - I've had enough of this. 245 00:22:23,840 --> 00:22:26,320 I demand to see your papers! 246 00:22:27,280 --> 00:22:29,760 Give me that back. 247 00:22:29,760 --> 00:22:32,760 - Show us YOUR papers. - Show us yours! 248 00:22:32,760 --> 00:22:37,800 - We're not going to. - Oh, yes, you are. - Oh, no, we're not. 249 00:22:44,080 --> 00:22:45,560 Halt! 250 00:22:45,560 --> 00:22:48,960 You know what we're doing. Come on! 251 00:22:48,960 --> 00:22:51,480 ­ You can leave me out of this. 252 00:22:51,480 --> 00:22:55,040 All right, Hodges, you stay here. And hold your tongue. 253 00:22:55,040 --> 00:22:58,040 Come on. 254 00:23:05,320 --> 00:23:11,600 Ah...zat vas a very good morning's vork, vas it not? 255 00:23:11,600 --> 00:23:16,280 - Ja! A good morning's vork! - Ja, ja! It vas a good morning! 256 00:23:17,480 --> 00:23:21,000 That's a fact...! Jawohl! 257 00:23:21,000 --> 00:23:23,520 That is ein fact! 258 00:23:24,480 --> 00:23:27,520 We have seen ze aerodrome! 259 00:23:29,160 --> 00:23:31,040 Did you count ze planes? 260 00:23:31,040 --> 00:23:34,640 - I made many notes. - Und we have seen the ships! 261 00:23:34,640 --> 00:23:39,440 Also, I wrote down ze numbers of ze ships. 262 00:23:39,440 --> 00:23:43,400 But we need some more of ze information. 263 00:23:44,440 --> 00:23:49,600 Why do we not...ask them? 264 00:23:50,840 --> 00:23:53,360 This is a very good idea. 265 00:23:53,360 --> 00:23:57,720 We will ask them ze questions and get answers! 266 00:24:05,240 --> 00:24:09,680 That's done the trick. Let's get back to the mill. 267 00:24:09,680 --> 00:24:12,720 We can cut across the fields. 268 00:24:16,840 --> 00:24:19,320 Hello, Mr Godfrey. You still here? 269 00:24:19,320 --> 00:24:26,040 I'm in charge of the telephone. Could you carry on for me for a few minutes? 270 00:24:26,040 --> 00:24:29,920 Yes, but don't be long. I won't be. 271 00:24:29,920 --> 00:24:32,640 Good morning, Vicar. Good morning. 272 00:24:32,640 --> 00:24:35,640 Platoon, HALT! > 273 00:24:35,640 --> 00:24:39,520 Do you mind? I want to get my sermon. 274 00:24:39,520 --> 00:24:42,600 GOOD morning! Mainwaring ABOUT? 275 00:24:42,600 --> 00:24:44,360 No. 276 00:24:44,360 --> 00:24:50,000 On Sunday morning! Where IS HE? I've no idea! PHONE RINGS 277 00:24:50,000 --> 00:24:52,520 Reverend Timothy Farthing... What? 278 00:24:52,520 --> 00:24:56,120 There's no-one here. ..Oh, dear! 279 00:24:56,120 --> 00:25:00,960 WHAT'S the matter? Dymchurch police want the home guard. 280 00:25:00,960 --> 00:25:05,480 Typical! Mainwaring's not here. Slacker! I'll take it. 281 00:25:05,480 --> 00:25:07,840 Move! 282 00:25:07,840 --> 00:25:15,360 Hello, hello. Captain Square here, commanding Eastgate platoon home guard, don't you know, what? 283 00:25:16,840 --> 00:25:18,880 What? 284 00:25:18,880 --> 00:25:20,880 What? 285 00:25:20,880 --> 00:25:24,640 Good heavens...! I say, are you sure? 286 00:25:24,640 --> 00:25:27,160 I'll be over right away! 287 00:25:27,160 --> 00:25:33,640 They say there's a bunch of fifth columnists over there! Desperados! 288 00:25:33,640 --> 00:25:40,400 Armed to the teeth! Asking about aerodromes. They were seen at the Six Bells. 289 00:25:40,400 --> 00:25:44,640 I must get over there. Where is the Six Bells? 290 00:25:44,640 --> 00:25:47,400 Five miles up the Dymchurch road. 291 00:25:47,400 --> 00:25:50,480 Damnation! We've got no transport. 292 00:25:50,480 --> 00:25:54,200 Captain Mainwaring's van's outside. Damned good idea! 293 00:25:54,200 --> 00:25:58,840 Shouldn't you ring GHQ? No! Come and show me the way. 294 00:25:58,840 --> 00:26:04,000 I'm not getting involved! And I've got to take the collection. 295 00:26:04,000 --> 00:26:08,920 Never mind that, you old fool. Come on, get out! Out, out, out! 296 00:26:11,520 --> 00:26:14,080 Which way did they GO? 297 00:26:14,080 --> 00:26:16,720 They went that way, sir. 298 00:26:16,720 --> 00:26:20,760 Right, we'll get 'em! Ha-ha! Tally-ho! 299 00:26:28,360 --> 00:26:30,920 Any sign of them, Captain? 300 00:26:30,920 --> 00:26:33,440 No. Nothing! 301 00:26:36,160 --> 00:26:38,920 There they ARE! 302 00:26:38,920 --> 00:26:41,440 We've got 'EM! 303 00:26:41,440 --> 00:26:44,480 All right, men, back in the van. 304 00:26:48,800 --> 00:26:51,320 Good morning's work, eh, Wilson? 305 00:26:51,320 --> 00:26:54,320 Yes. We gave them quite a fright. 306 00:26:54,320 --> 00:26:56,960 What are we doing now, Captain? 307 00:26:56,960 --> 00:27:00,160 - We'll march on the gasworks. - Why? 308 00:27:00,160 --> 00:27:05,600 It's 12 o'clock. Everybody's cooking Sunday lunch we turn off the gas. 309 00:27:05,600 --> 00:27:09,000 Right, men, surround the building. 310 00:27:09,000 --> 00:27:11,160 AND NOT A SOUND! 311 00:27:12,280 --> 00:27:16,240 Come on, men! FOLLOW ME! 312 00:27:16,240 --> 00:27:18,760 What's that noise out there? 313 00:27:18,760 --> 00:27:21,200 It's Captain Square. 314 00:27:21,200 --> 00:27:23,640 He's got my van! 315 00:27:26,080 --> 00:27:32,080 ALL RIGHT! I'll give you one minute to come out of there, WITH YOUR HANDS UP! 316 00:27:32,080 --> 00:27:34,600 Or I'll BLAST you out! 317 00:27:34,600 --> 00:27:40,640 Don't panic he's going to blast us out! Don't panic! Don't panic! 318 00:27:40,640 --> 00:27:44,880 - Jones! - What do we do? - I'm not surrendering to that idiot Square. 319 00:27:44,880 --> 00:27:47,600 He's a trigger-happy maniac! 320 00:27:47,600 --> 00:27:51,640 He won't shoot. Even he's not mad enough for that. 321 00:27:56,120 --> 00:27:58,640 CHARGE! 322 00:28:15,040 --> 00:28:19,680 Mainwaring, what the HELL are you doing here? 323 00:28:19,680 --> 00:28:24,520 You madman! You nearly killed us all! 324 00:28:24,520 --> 00:28:32,320 Well, Mainwaring, for the last few years you've been behaving like a clown, and now you look like one. 325 00:28:34,160 --> 00:28:39,480 - It fooled you! - Yes, we had you running all over the countryside. 326 00:28:39,480 --> 00:28:43,880 - I knew who it was the whole time. - Rubbish! You fell for it. You fool! 327 00:28:43,880 --> 00:28:49,000 - You'll take that back! - No. You've been a fool for years! 328 00:28:49,000 --> 00:28:51,480 Don't call me a fool, you fool! 329 00:28:51,480 --> 00:28:56,040 - I'll report you to the colonel. - You rotten sneak! 330 00:28:56,040 --> 00:28:59,080 I'll kick you out of the golf club! 331 00:28:59,080 --> 00:29:02,680 You're not a member of the club. 332 00:29:58,680 --> 00:30:00,800 Subtitles by BBC Scotland