1 00:00:05,834 --> 00:00:09,416 LET'S GO FOR A RIDE. 2 00:00:09,417 --> 00:00:14,833 MY NAME IS GEORGE LASS. I'M 18 YEARS OLD, AND I AM DOWN THERE SOMEWHERE. 3 00:00:14,834 --> 00:00:18,207 I'M GONNA TELL YOU A STORY. NOT MY STORY. THAT'S LATER. 4 00:00:18,208 --> 00:00:20,499 THIS IS JUST A STORY. READY? 5 00:00:20,500 --> 00:00:25,874 ONCE UPON A TIME, OR MORE SPECIFICALLY, AT THE DAWN OF TIME, 6 00:00:25,875 --> 00:00:26,999 GOD, LOWER-CASE "G," 7 00:00:27,000 --> 00:00:29,707 WAS GETTING BUSY WITH CREATION, 8 00:00:29,708 --> 00:00:31,666 AS THE KIDS THESE DAYS ARE SAYING. 9 00:00:31,667 --> 00:00:34,207 HE GAVE TOAD A CLAY JAR AND SAID, 10 00:00:34,208 --> 00:00:38,124 "BE CAREFUL WITH THIS. IT'S GOT DEATH INSIDE." 11 00:00:38,125 --> 00:00:40,332 PLEASED AS PUNCH AND OBLIVIOUS TO THE FACT 12 00:00:40,333 --> 00:00:42,973 THAT HE WAS ABOUT TO BECOME GOD'S FALL GUY ON THE WHOLE DEATH ISSUE, 13 00:00:42,997 --> 00:00:45,082 TOAD PROMISED TO GUARD THE JAR. 14 00:00:45,083 --> 00:00:49,541 BUT THEN ONE DAY, TOAD MET FROG. 15 00:00:49,542 --> 00:00:53,499 "LET ME HOLD THE JAR OF DEATH, OR WHATEVER YOU CALL IT," FROG BEGGED. 16 00:00:53,500 --> 00:00:56,165 WITH A NOD TO NANCY REAGAN'S PEARL OF WISDOM, 17 00:00:56,166 --> 00:00:57,750 TOAD JUST SAID NO. 18 00:00:58,542 --> 00:00:59,542 BUT FROG WAS DETERMINED, 19 00:00:59,543 --> 00:01:02,290 AND AFTER MUCH WHINING, TOAD FINALLY GAVE IN. 20 00:01:02,291 --> 00:01:06,332 "YOU CAN HOLD IT BUT ONLY FOR A SECOND," HE SAID. 21 00:01:06,333 --> 00:01:08,874 IN HIS EXCITEMENT, FROG BEGAN TO HOP AROUND 22 00:01:08,875 --> 00:01:12,249 AND JUGGLE THE DEATH JAR FROM ONE FOOT TO THE OTHER. 23 00:01:12,250 --> 00:01:14,999 FROG WAS AN ASSHOLE. 24 00:01:15,000 --> 00:01:18,124 "STOP," TOAD CRIED OUT, BUT IT WAS TOO LATE. 25 00:01:18,125 --> 00:01:21,874 FROG DROPPED THE JAR AND IT SHATTERED TO THE GROUND. 26 00:01:21,875 --> 00:01:24,707 WHEN IT BROKE OPEN, DEATH GOT OUT, 27 00:01:24,708 --> 00:01:27,207 AND EVER SINCE ALL LIVING THINGS HAVE TO DIE. 28 00:01:27,208 --> 00:01:29,168 MAKES YOU WONDER HOW MUCH BETTER THE WORLD WOULD BE 29 00:01:29,192 --> 00:01:31,958 IF FROG STUCK TO HOCKING BEER. 30 00:01:31,959 --> 00:01:36,249 SO, THERE YOU HAVE IT, THE MYSTERY OF DEATH FINALLY REVEALED. 31 00:01:36,250 --> 00:01:39,749 WE ALL DIE, SOME OF US SOONER THAN LATER. 32 00:01:39,750 --> 00:01:42,124 FOR ME, IT'S GOING TO BE MUCH SOONER, 33 00:01:42,125 --> 00:01:44,542 BUT THAT'S ONLY THE BEGINNING OF MY STORY. 34 00:01:47,750 --> 00:01:48,750 THAT'S NOT ME. 35 00:02:14,417 --> 00:02:15,666 THAT'S ME. 36 00:02:15,667 --> 00:02:18,082 I'D SAY I'M SORRY TO DISAPPOINT YOU, 37 00:02:18,083 --> 00:02:19,958 BUT I'M NOT. I EXCEL AT NOT GIVING A SHIT. 38 00:02:19,959 --> 00:02:21,374 EXPERIENCE HAS TAUGHT ME 39 00:02:21,375 --> 00:02:23,249 THAT INTEREST BEGETS EXPECTATION, 40 00:02:23,250 --> 00:02:25,999 AND EXPECTATION BEGETS DISAPPOINTMENT, 41 00:02:26,000 --> 00:02:28,281 SO THE KEY TO AVOIDING DISAPPOINTMENT IS TO AVOID INTEREST. 42 00:02:28,305 --> 00:02:33,040 A EQUALS B EQUALS C EQUALS A, OR WHATEVER. 43 00:02:33,041 --> 00:02:34,401 I ALSO DON'T HAVE A LOT OF INTEREST 44 00:02:34,425 --> 00:02:36,582 IN BEING A GOOD PERSON OR A BAD PERSON. 45 00:02:36,583 --> 00:02:39,083 FROM WHAT I CAN TELL, EITHER WAY YOU'RE SCREWED. 46 00:02:40,625 --> 00:02:42,791 BAD PEOPLE ARE PUNISHED BY SOCIETY'S LAW. 47 00:02:42,792 --> 00:02:45,625 DROP YOUR WEAPON. PUT YOUR HANDS IN THE AIR! 48 00:02:47,250 --> 00:02:48,749 AND GOOD PEOPLE... 49 00:02:48,750 --> 00:02:51,165 WHO'S A PRETTY KITTY? YOU ARE. 50 00:02:51,166 --> 00:02:52,499 [ MEOWS ] 51 00:02:52,500 --> 00:02:53,625 COME ON, SWEETHEART. 52 00:02:54,625 --> 00:02:55,834 [ CRASHES ] 53 00:02:56,583 --> 00:02:59,166 ARE PUNISHED BY MURPHY'S LAW. 54 00:03:02,250 --> 00:03:04,374 SO, YOU SEE MY DILEMMA. 55 00:03:04,375 --> 00:03:05,500 [ PHONES RINGING ] 56 00:03:17,458 --> 00:03:18,500 GEORGIA LASS? 57 00:03:22,500 --> 00:03:25,582 HI. I'M DELORES HERBIG, AS IN "HER BIG BROWN EYES." 58 00:03:25,583 --> 00:03:30,708 I'LL BE YOUR HAPPY TIME CAREER COUNSELOR. WHY DON'T YOU COME WITH ME? 59 00:03:51,375 --> 00:03:54,166 "SOME COLLEGE," HUH? DIDN'T FINISH? 60 00:03:55,000 --> 00:03:56,417 "SOME" SEEMED LIKE ENOUGH. 61 00:03:56,959 --> 00:03:58,166 MMM-HMM. 62 00:04:00,333 --> 00:04:03,625 I SEE YOU HAVE MANAGEMENT EXPERIENCE IN THE FOOD SERVICE INDUSTRY. 63 00:04:05,125 --> 00:04:09,125 BACON MEATO WITH A CHERRY PEPSI AND AN ORDER OF NAFTY TOTS. 64 00:04:09,875 --> 00:04:11,374 YEAH. 65 00:04:11,375 --> 00:04:12,916 DO YOU EVER WAKE UP IN THE MORNING 66 00:04:12,917 --> 00:04:14,917 AND REALIZE YOUR LIFE IS MEANINGLESS? 67 00:04:16,083 --> 00:04:17,166 WHAT? 68 00:04:18,166 --> 00:04:21,749 ARE YOU FAMILIAR WITH THE MICROSOFT OFFICE SUITE? 69 00:04:21,750 --> 00:04:23,749 WORD? ACCESS? POWERPOINT? 70 00:04:23,750 --> 00:04:25,290 I KNOW LOTUS. 71 00:04:25,291 --> 00:04:26,916 [ LAUGHING ] 72 00:04:26,917 --> 00:04:31,083 WE USE EXCEL NOW, DEAR. YOU MIGHT THINK ABOUT TAKING SOME TUTORIALS. 73 00:04:32,959 --> 00:04:34,707 I'M GONNA GET STRAIGHT TO THE POINT. 74 00:04:34,708 --> 00:04:37,458 WHAT KIND OF WORK ARE YOU LOOKING FOR? 75 00:04:38,166 --> 00:04:40,749 I DON'T KNOW. WHAT'S AVAILABLE? 76 00:04:40,750 --> 00:04:45,082 FOR YOU, WE HAVE CLERICAL POSITIONS. 77 00:04:45,083 --> 00:04:47,916 RECEPTION, DATA ENTRY... 78 00:04:47,917 --> 00:04:50,875 I WAS TOLD TO ASK ABOUT BEING AN EXECUTIVE ASSISTANT. 79 00:04:51,375 --> 00:04:52,791 [ LAUGHING ] 80 00:04:52,792 --> 00:04:54,791 WELL, YOU CAN ASK. 81 00:04:54,792 --> 00:04:58,124 TO BE ABSOLUTELY HONEST, WITH YOUR RATHER LIMITED 82 00:04:58,125 --> 00:05:00,124 EXPERIENCE AND EDUCATION, 83 00:05:00,125 --> 00:05:02,541 YOU'RE BETTER OFF STICKING TO REDUNDANT DUTIES. 84 00:05:02,542 --> 00:05:04,583 HOW DO YOU FEEL ABOUT FILING? 85 00:05:05,417 --> 00:05:07,124 I NEVER THOUGHT ABOUT IT. 86 00:05:07,125 --> 00:05:08,500 MAYBE YOU SHOULD. 87 00:05:11,792 --> 00:05:13,291 CAN I MAKE AN OBSERVATION? 88 00:05:15,500 --> 00:05:19,457 I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU SMILE ONCE SINCE YOU SET FOOT IN THIS OFFICE, 89 00:05:19,458 --> 00:05:22,290 AND A SUNNY DISPOSITION GOES A LONG WAY IN ANY LINE OF WORK, 90 00:05:22,291 --> 00:05:24,582 ESPECIALLY HERE AT HAPPY TIME. 91 00:05:24,583 --> 00:05:28,666 TRUST ME, NO EMPLOYER IS GONNA WANT A SAD SACK ON THEIR HANDS. 92 00:05:28,667 --> 00:05:31,958 LOOK AT ME. I CERTAINLY WOULDN'T HAVE GOTTEN AS FAR AS I HAVE... 93 00:05:31,959 --> 00:05:34,166 HOW FAR IS THAT? 94 00:05:34,792 --> 00:05:36,165 I BEG YOUR PARDON? 95 00:05:36,166 --> 00:05:38,040 HOW FAR HAVE YOU GOTTEN? 96 00:05:38,041 --> 00:05:43,791 I MEAN, IT'S NOT LIKE THIS IS A CORNER OFFICE WITH A VIEW. 97 00:05:43,792 --> 00:05:46,416 AND, LIKE, EVERY DAY YOU HAVE TO FIND JOBS FOR PEOPLE, 98 00:05:46,417 --> 00:05:48,177 MOST OF WHICH ARE PROBABLY BETTER THAN YOURS, 99 00:05:48,201 --> 00:05:50,118 AND THAT HAS TO SUCK. 100 00:05:51,166 --> 00:05:53,375 AND I BET THEY DON'T PAY YOU MUCH, EITHER. 101 00:05:55,959 --> 00:05:57,667 JUST MAKING AN OBSERVATION. 102 00:06:03,000 --> 00:06:04,375 HOW DID THINGS GO TODAY? 103 00:06:04,792 --> 00:06:06,416 OKAY. 104 00:06:06,417 --> 00:06:08,124 JUST OKAY? 105 00:06:08,125 --> 00:06:10,041 YEAH. JUST OKAY. 106 00:06:11,542 --> 00:06:14,124 SHE'S BITTER BECAUSE THEY TOLD HER 107 00:06:14,125 --> 00:06:16,416 SHE WASN'T QUALIFIED TO GET A DECENT JOB. 108 00:06:16,417 --> 00:06:17,875 OH, SWEETIE, I'M SORRY. 109 00:06:19,708 --> 00:06:21,040 WANNA KNOW WHAT I THINK? 110 00:06:21,041 --> 00:06:22,749 HERE WE GO. 111 00:06:22,750 --> 00:06:25,541 YOU SHOULD NEVER HAVE DROPPED OUT OF COLLEGE. 112 00:06:25,542 --> 00:06:27,022 YOU KNOW, I STILL DON'T UNDERSTAND WHY 113 00:06:27,046 --> 00:06:29,211 YOU COULDN'T AT LEAST FINISH THE SEMESTER. 114 00:06:32,041 --> 00:06:33,582 WHAT HAPPENED TO YOU, GEORGIA? 115 00:06:33,583 --> 00:06:38,416 YOU USED TO HAVE FRIENDS, YOU USED TO BE SO SMART. 116 00:06:38,417 --> 00:06:39,875 IT'S LIKE YOU JUST GAVE UP. 117 00:06:44,208 --> 00:06:45,608 WELL, I HATE TO SAY "I TOLD YOU SO." 118 00:06:45,632 --> 00:06:48,374 YOU LOVE TO SAY "I TOLD YOU SO." 119 00:06:48,375 --> 00:06:51,541 SWEETIE, DON'T TALK THAT WAY TO YOUR MOTHER. 120 00:06:51,542 --> 00:06:53,624 YOU KNOW IT ONLY AGGRAVATES HER. 121 00:06:53,625 --> 00:06:55,874 OH, THANK YOU, HONEY. THAT'S SO HELPFUL. 122 00:06:55,875 --> 00:06:58,124 MEET THE FAMILY. 123 00:06:58,125 --> 00:07:00,749 JOY, AGE 41, IS A VIRGO. 124 00:07:00,750 --> 00:07:02,707 SHE'S A CAREER, SECRETARY AND ENJOYS 125 00:07:02,708 --> 00:07:04,290 ICE SKATING AND JOHN GRISHAM NOVELS. 126 00:07:04,291 --> 00:07:07,582 SHE'S PATHOLOGICALLY AFRAID OF BALLOONS AND HATES THE WORD "MOIST." 127 00:07:07,583 --> 00:07:10,000 SHE THINKS IT'S PORNOGRAPHIC. 128 00:07:11,917 --> 00:07:14,916 CLANCY, AGE 43, IS A CANCER. 129 00:07:14,917 --> 00:07:17,207 HE'S A TENURED PROFESSOR OF ENGLISH AT UDUB 130 00:07:17,208 --> 00:07:19,958 AND IS, I'M TOLD, VERY WELL RESPECTED. 131 00:07:19,959 --> 00:07:22,707 HE'S HAVING AN AFFAIR WITH ONE OF HIS GRADUATE STUDENTS. 132 00:07:22,708 --> 00:07:24,416 AND THAT'S REGGIE. SHE'S 10. 133 00:07:24,417 --> 00:07:27,082 SHE'S NOT REALLY INVISIBLE, 134 00:07:27,083 --> 00:07:30,125 BUT AS FAR AS I'M CONCERNED, SHE MAY AS WELL BE. 135 00:07:31,750 --> 00:07:33,458 THIS IS DELICIOUS. 136 00:07:36,583 --> 00:07:37,583 AND MOIST. 137 00:07:39,375 --> 00:07:40,375 [ FORK CLINKS ] 138 00:07:48,792 --> 00:07:52,374 WHEN I WAS LITTLE, MY MOM TOLD ME SANTA CLAUS DIDN'T EXIST. 139 00:07:52,375 --> 00:07:55,666 NEITHER DID THE EASTER BUNNY, THE TOOTH FAIRY OR THE GREAT PUMPKIN. 140 00:07:55,667 --> 00:07:57,666 EVEN THOUGH SHE DIDN'T SAY SO SPECIFICALLY, 141 00:07:57,667 --> 00:08:01,040 I JUST SORT OF ASSUMED GOD DIDN'T, EITHER. 142 00:08:01,041 --> 00:08:02,761 OTHERWISE I'D PROBABLY BE PRAYING RIGHT NOW. 143 00:08:19,583 --> 00:08:21,791 I'D PRAY FOR WORLD PEACE, ET CETERA, 144 00:08:21,792 --> 00:08:25,541 AND MAYBE EVEN FOR A LITTLE GUIDANCE. 145 00:08:25,542 --> 00:08:26,999 I MEAN, DO YOU KNOW WHAT IT'S LIKE 146 00:08:27,000 --> 00:08:29,958 TO BE CUSPING ON ADULTHOOD AND NOT KNOW WHO YOU ARE, 147 00:08:29,959 --> 00:08:33,249 WHAT YOU WANNA BE, OR EVEN IF YOU WANNA BE? 148 00:08:33,250 --> 00:08:35,708 IT'S 10 SHADES OF SUCK IS WHAT IT IS! 149 00:08:37,041 --> 00:08:38,041 GET UP! 150 00:08:38,042 --> 00:08:40,457 MOM. 151 00:08:40,458 --> 00:08:43,916 THAT WOMAN FROM THE TEMP AGENCY CALLED. SHE'S GOT A JOB FOR YOU. 152 00:08:43,917 --> 00:08:44,834 WHAT KIND OF JOB? 153 00:08:44,835 --> 00:08:46,332 WELL, BEGGARS CAN'T BE CHOOSERS. 154 00:08:46,333 --> 00:08:48,624 I DON'T FEEL GOOD. 155 00:08:48,625 --> 00:08:49,916 TOO BAD. 156 00:08:49,917 --> 00:08:52,207 I THINK I HAVE A TEMPERATURE. 157 00:08:52,208 --> 00:08:55,541 DAMN IT, GEORGIA, YOU ARE NOT SIX YEARS OLD. 158 00:08:55,542 --> 00:08:59,999 EIGHTEEN YEARS OF CODDLING IS ENOUGH FOR YOU, YOUNG LADY. 159 00:09:00,000 --> 00:09:02,040 IF YOU THINK YOU'RE GONNA SPEND THE REST OF YOUR LIFE 160 00:09:02,064 --> 00:09:04,374 SUCKLING AT MY RETIREMENT FUND, 161 00:09:04,375 --> 00:09:06,916 YOU'VE GOT ANOTHER THING COMING. 162 00:09:06,917 --> 00:09:09,165 YOU WILL GET OUT OF BED AND YOU WILL GO TO WORK. 163 00:09:09,166 --> 00:09:12,792 YOU WILL COLLECT A PAYCHECK AND YOU WILL MOVE OUT OF THIS HOUSE. 164 00:09:14,333 --> 00:09:15,500 UNDERSTOOD? 165 00:09:16,500 --> 00:09:17,958 GET DRESSED. 166 00:09:17,959 --> 00:09:19,499 THOSE ARE FUNERAL CLOTHES. 167 00:09:19,500 --> 00:09:22,624 THERE'S GONNA BE A FUNERAL IF YOU DON'T GET YOUR ASS OUT OF BED! 168 00:09:22,625 --> 00:09:24,745 THOSE ARE THE LAST WORDS MY MOTHER WILL EVER SAY TO ME. 169 00:09:24,769 --> 00:09:26,707 NOW, MOVE IT! 170 00:09:26,708 --> 00:09:27,788 BOY, IS SHE GONNA BE SORRY. 171 00:09:31,875 --> 00:09:33,708 WHO HAD THE NERVE TO NAME YOU JOY? 172 00:09:37,500 --> 00:09:39,958 SO, YOU SEE ALL THESE BOXES? 173 00:09:39,959 --> 00:09:41,624 WE ACQUIRED A SMALL INSURANCE COMPANY 174 00:09:41,625 --> 00:09:44,374 BASED OUT OF SPOKANE ABOUT TWO YEARS AGO. 175 00:09:44,375 --> 00:09:46,207 ALL THEIR CLAIM FILES WERE SHIPPED TO US 176 00:09:46,208 --> 00:09:47,875 FOR ELECTRONIC DATA CONVERSION. 177 00:09:48,917 --> 00:09:51,082 THIS IS WHAT WE CALL THE PIT. 178 00:09:51,083 --> 00:09:54,916 GET COZY, 'CAUSE YOU ARE GONNA SPEND A LOT OF TIME HERE. 179 00:09:54,917 --> 00:09:57,457 SO, YOUR MISSION, SHOULD YOU CHOOSE TO ACCEPT IT, 180 00:09:57,458 --> 00:09:59,666 IS TO SIFT THROUGH ALL THIS CRAP AND CODE IT 181 00:09:59,667 --> 00:10:01,707 FOR THE PENCIL-NECKS IN DATA ENTRY. 182 00:10:01,708 --> 00:10:02,748 THINK YOU CAN HANDLE THAT? 183 00:10:03,750 --> 00:10:05,499 SURE, WHATEVER. 184 00:10:05,500 --> 00:10:06,500 COOL. 185 00:10:08,166 --> 00:10:09,875 SO, WHAT DID YOU DO TO PISS DELORES OFF? 186 00:10:11,417 --> 00:10:12,707 HUH? 187 00:10:12,708 --> 00:10:16,667 DELORES HERBIG, AS IN "HER BIG BROWN EYES." 188 00:10:19,917 --> 00:10:21,541 YOU MUST'VE DONE SOMETHING. 189 00:10:21,542 --> 00:10:23,708 SHE ONLY GIVES THIS JOB TO PEOPLE SHE HATES. 190 00:10:24,458 --> 00:10:26,791 AS THE WORK DAY PROGRESSED, 191 00:10:26,792 --> 00:10:31,040 I BEGAN TO SUSPECT THAT DELORES HERBIG, AS IN "HER BIG FAT ASS," 192 00:10:31,041 --> 00:10:33,500 WAS THE DEVIL, AND SHE'D CONDEMNED ME TO HELL. 193 00:10:35,125 --> 00:10:37,249 TO SPITE THE GREAT HOOFED ONE, 194 00:10:37,250 --> 00:10:39,290 I TOOK EVERY OPPORTUNITY TO SHIRK MY DUTIES. 195 00:10:39,291 --> 00:10:41,290 [ TOILET FLUSHES ] 196 00:10:41,291 --> 00:10:42,542 [ FOOTSTEPS ] 197 00:10:47,792 --> 00:10:50,666 BUT EVEN THOUGH I DID MY BEST TO DO VERY LITTLE, 198 00:10:50,667 --> 00:10:53,625 MOST EVERYONE ELSE WAS DOING A LOT LESS. 199 00:11:15,041 --> 00:11:18,290 WELCOME TO CORPORATE AMERICA. 200 00:11:18,291 --> 00:11:21,165 WAS THIS IT? WAS THIS WHO I WAS? 201 00:11:21,166 --> 00:11:23,999 WOULD I FOREVER BE REMEMBERED AS A FILE CLERK 202 00:11:24,000 --> 00:11:25,667 OR, WORSE, A TEMP? 203 00:11:48,708 --> 00:11:50,125 JUST TOSS THEM IN THERE. 204 00:11:52,583 --> 00:11:54,000 WHERE ARE THE OTHER FILES? 205 00:11:54,708 --> 00:11:55,999 UH... WHAT OTHER FILES? 206 00:11:56,000 --> 00:11:59,000 THE OTHER FILES I REQUESTED, THE RED-FLAG CASES. 207 00:12:00,625 --> 00:12:03,624 YEAH. LOOKED FOR THOSE, COULDN'T FIND THEM. 208 00:12:03,625 --> 00:12:05,750 WELL, FILES JUST DON'T DISAPPEAR. 209 00:12:07,750 --> 00:12:10,000 THEY DO IF YOU DROP THEM DOWN AN ELEVATOR SHAFT. 210 00:12:11,208 --> 00:12:13,125 IS THAT A JOKE? 211 00:12:15,500 --> 00:12:16,875 I DON'T KNOW. YEAH, MAYBE. 212 00:12:20,041 --> 00:12:21,041 CAN I GO NOW? 213 00:12:22,375 --> 00:12:23,958 WHICH ELEVATOR? 214 00:12:23,959 --> 00:12:24,959 MIDDLE ONE. 215 00:12:31,333 --> 00:12:35,582 I WAS DOOMED TO SPEND THE REST OF MY LIFE IN A LOUSY DEAD-END JOB. 216 00:12:35,583 --> 00:12:38,583 AND I'M NOT JUST BEING DRAMATIC. 217 00:12:39,750 --> 00:12:42,374 IT REALLY IS GOING TO BE THE REST OF MY LIFE, 218 00:12:42,375 --> 00:12:45,166 WHICH ACTUALLY ONLY AMOUNTS TO THE NEXT HALF-HOUR OR SO. 219 00:12:45,917 --> 00:12:48,000 [ WHEELS SQUEAKING ] 220 00:12:56,417 --> 00:12:57,834 HEY, WHAT'S UP? 221 00:12:58,792 --> 00:12:59,792 NOTHING. 222 00:12:59,834 --> 00:13:02,082 NADA MUCHO, THAT'S COOL. 223 00:13:02,083 --> 00:13:07,250 THEN IT'S YOUR LUNCH HOUR. WE'LL SEE YOU BACK HERE IN 35. 224 00:13:08,667 --> 00:13:11,082 IF IT'S MY LUNCH "HOUR," WHY IS IT ONLY 35 MINUTES? 225 00:13:11,083 --> 00:13:14,958 OH, 'CAUSE THEY DID SOME RESEARCH, LIKE, FIVE YEARS AGO, 226 00:13:14,959 --> 00:13:16,624 AND I GUESS THEY CLOCKED SOME FOLKS 227 00:13:16,625 --> 00:13:19,791 AND FIGURED THAT'S HOW LONG IT TAKES TO, LIKE, GO SOMEWHERE 228 00:13:19,792 --> 00:13:21,749 AND GET YOUR FOOD AND, YOU KNOW, LIKE, EAT IT. 229 00:13:21,750 --> 00:13:26,500 SO WE'LL SEE YOU IN THREE-FIVE. 230 00:13:41,458 --> 00:13:43,249 IT WAS A BEAUTIFUL DAY. 231 00:13:43,250 --> 00:13:45,124 THE SUN WAS SHINING, THE SKY WAS BLUE 232 00:13:45,125 --> 00:13:49,375 AND THE RUSSIAN SPACE AGENCY WAS DE-ORBITING MIR. 233 00:13:51,125 --> 00:13:53,124 EVIDENTLY THERE WAS A MISCALCULATION 234 00:13:53,125 --> 00:13:54,365 IN THE DENSITY OF THE IONOSPHERE 235 00:13:54,389 --> 00:13:57,749 AT THE POINT OF ENTRY, OR SOMETHING LIKE THAT. 236 00:13:57,750 --> 00:14:00,290 THE WHOLE THING WAS SUPPOSED TO FALL IN THE PACIFIC OCEAN, 237 00:14:00,291 --> 00:14:01,971 BUT A FEW PIECES MADE IT TO THE WEST COAST, 238 00:14:01,995 --> 00:14:05,703 INCLUDING THE SEAT OF A 0-G TOILET. 239 00:14:06,667 --> 00:14:09,625 EXCUSE ME? GOT THE TIME? 240 00:14:09,750 --> 00:14:10,750 1:05. 241 00:14:10,751 --> 00:14:14,040 THANK YOU. THANK YOU VERY MUCH. 242 00:14:14,041 --> 00:14:15,417 SO, WHAT IS YOUR NAME? 243 00:14:17,208 --> 00:14:18,208 GEORGE. 244 00:14:18,209 --> 00:14:19,833 UM... 245 00:14:19,834 --> 00:14:23,165 MIDDLE NAME? YOU GOT A MIDDLE NAME? 246 00:14:23,166 --> 00:14:24,624 FUCK OFF, WOULD YOU? 247 00:14:24,625 --> 00:14:25,917 DOES IT START WITH AN "L"? 248 00:14:32,667 --> 00:14:35,249 YOU'D BETTER HURRY, GEORGE. 249 00:14:35,250 --> 00:14:36,708 YOU'RE GONNA BE LATE. 250 00:14:37,500 --> 00:14:38,625 [ CROAKS ] 251 00:14:47,875 --> 00:14:48,875 [ TOAD CROAKING ] 252 00:14:52,208 --> 00:14:54,707 THEY SAY YOUR ENTIRE LIFE FLASHES IN FRONT OF YOUR EYES 253 00:14:54,708 --> 00:14:57,666 THE MOMENT BEFORE YOU DIE. 254 00:14:57,667 --> 00:14:59,347 THAT MIGHT BE TRUE IF YOU'RE TERMINALLY ILL 255 00:14:59,371 --> 00:15:02,040 OR YOUR PARACHUTE DOESN'T OPEN, 256 00:15:02,041 --> 00:15:03,201 BUT IF DEATH SNEAKS UP ON YOU, 257 00:15:03,225 --> 00:15:05,141 THE ONLY THING YOU HAVE TIME TO THINK IS... 258 00:15:06,333 --> 00:15:07,667 OH, SHIT! 259 00:15:16,542 --> 00:15:18,917 [ PEOPLE SCREAMING ] 260 00:15:50,875 --> 00:15:53,166 [ MAN ]: GET OUT OF HERE! 261 00:16:01,125 --> 00:16:02,166 [ GASPS ] 262 00:16:04,708 --> 00:16:06,041 I'D LIKE TO SOLVE THE PUZZLE! 263 00:16:08,542 --> 00:16:11,333 HEY, DEAD GIRL! HOLD ON THERE A MINUTE. 264 00:16:12,500 --> 00:16:14,583 THAT'S RUBE, HE'S UNDEAD. 265 00:16:16,583 --> 00:16:19,791 THEY SAY THERE ARE, LIKE, FIVE PSYCHOLOGICAL STAGES OF DEATH. 266 00:16:19,792 --> 00:16:22,749 IRONICALLY, THIS APPLIES EVEN IF YOU'RE ALREADY DEAD. 267 00:16:22,750 --> 00:16:23,916 NUMBER ONE, DENIAL. 268 00:16:23,917 --> 00:16:27,290 THIS ISN'T HAPPENING. THIS ISN'T REAL. 269 00:16:27,291 --> 00:16:30,875 OH, PEANUT, THIS IS AS REAL AS IT GETS. YOU'RE DEAD. 270 00:16:33,083 --> 00:16:35,375 THAT'S BETTY, ALSO UNDEAD. 271 00:16:39,250 --> 00:16:40,374 THIS IS YOURS. 272 00:16:40,375 --> 00:16:42,335 MERCY, THAT THING MADE A HORRIBLE NOISE, DIDN'T IT? 273 00:16:42,359 --> 00:16:45,082 BUT I DON'T REMEMBER FEELING ANYTHING. 274 00:16:45,083 --> 00:16:47,666 YOUR SOUL WAS POPPED OUT BEFORE IMPACT. 275 00:16:47,667 --> 00:16:49,792 WE DO THAT FOR VIOLENT DEATHS AS A COURTESY. 276 00:16:50,333 --> 00:16:52,374 BUT I DIDN'T WANNA DIE. 277 00:16:52,375 --> 00:16:55,667 OH, NOBODY DOES, EXCEPT SUICIDES. THEY'RE NO FUN. 278 00:16:56,208 --> 00:16:59,332 NUMBER TWO IS ANGER. 279 00:16:59,333 --> 00:17:02,250 I'M ONLY 18. I HAVEN'T DONE ANYTHING. THIS ISN'T FAIR! 280 00:17:09,166 --> 00:17:14,833 SO, WHAT ARE YOU? LIKE, ANGELS OR SOMETHING? 281 00:17:14,834 --> 00:17:17,999 NO, NO, MA'AM. ANGELS DON'T LIKE GETTING THEIR HANDS DIRTY. 282 00:17:18,000 --> 00:17:21,958 YOU KNOW, UPPER-MANAGEMENT TYPES. 283 00:17:21,959 --> 00:17:27,040 WE HAVE THE UNFORTUNATE DISTINCTION OF BEING CALLED GRIM REAPERS. 284 00:17:27,041 --> 00:17:29,791 NUMBER THREE IS BARGAINING. 285 00:17:29,792 --> 00:17:34,375 WELL, THEN CAN'T YOU TAKE SOMEBODY ELSE, LIKE AN OLD PERSON? 286 00:17:35,542 --> 00:17:37,342 OR THAT HOMELESS GUY? I WON'T TELL, I PROMISE. 287 00:17:42,125 --> 00:17:43,499 ALL RIGHT. 288 00:17:43,500 --> 00:17:44,750 REALLY? NO. 289 00:17:45,834 --> 00:17:48,082 WELL, I WANT MY LIFE BACK! 290 00:17:48,083 --> 00:17:49,843 IT'S NOT LIKE YOU WERE DOING ANYTHING WITH IT. 291 00:17:51,000 --> 00:17:52,875 AND THEN THERE'S DEPRESSION. 292 00:18:00,500 --> 00:18:02,250 I KNOW WHAT MIGHT CHEER YOU UP. 293 00:18:02,583 --> 00:18:03,791 WHAT? 294 00:18:03,792 --> 00:18:04,917 YOUR AUTOPSY. 295 00:18:06,583 --> 00:18:08,374 THERE'S SOMETHING ABOUT SEEING YOUR BODY 296 00:18:08,375 --> 00:18:09,541 ALL EMPTY AND COLD, 297 00:18:09,542 --> 00:18:12,916 OR IN MY CASE, IN LITTLE CHUNKS AND PIECES. 298 00:18:12,917 --> 00:18:16,082 RUBE SAYS IT'S LIKE LOOKING AT A BOWL OF HOMEMADE PEACH COBBLER 299 00:18:16,083 --> 00:18:18,457 YOU JUST DROPPED ON THE FLOOR. 300 00:18:18,458 --> 00:18:21,666 AS GOOD AS IT MIGHT'VE BEEN, YOU JUST DON'T WANT IT ANYMORE. 301 00:18:21,667 --> 00:18:25,000 IT SOUNDS KIND OF WHACKED, BUT IT DID MAKE ME FEEL BETTER. 302 00:18:26,500 --> 00:18:28,207 I DON'T GET IT. WHY DO AN AUTOPSY? 303 00:18:28,208 --> 00:18:31,374 WELL, YOU STILL HAVE TO IDENTIFY THE BODY. 304 00:18:31,375 --> 00:18:33,249 HOW HARD CAN THAT BE? 305 00:18:33,250 --> 00:18:35,999 YOU WERE HIT BY AN OBJECT TRAVELING 200 MILES AN HOUR, 306 00:18:36,000 --> 00:18:37,400 WITH A SURFACE TEMPERATURE EXCEEDING 307 00:18:37,424 --> 00:18:41,582 1,500 DEGREES FAHRENHEIT. DO THE MATH. 308 00:18:41,583 --> 00:18:43,582 I DIDN'T KNOW WHAT WAS MORE DISTURBING, 309 00:18:43,583 --> 00:18:45,624 BEING DEAD, OR THE FACT THAT THE FIRST MAN 310 00:18:45,625 --> 00:18:48,582 TO TOUCH MY NAKED BODY WAS A CORONER. 311 00:18:48,583 --> 00:18:50,582 UH, THIS HAS BEEN LOVELY AND ALL, 312 00:18:50,583 --> 00:18:52,874 BUT DON'T YOU THINK IT'S TIME I SHOULD BE GOING? 313 00:18:52,875 --> 00:18:54,792 WHY, YOU GOT SOME PLACE TO BE? 314 00:18:55,250 --> 00:18:56,874 I DON'T KNOW? DO I? 315 00:18:56,875 --> 00:19:00,833 WELL, YOU GOTTA STICK AROUND TILL YOUR BODY'S BEEN LAID TO REST. 316 00:19:00,834 --> 00:19:03,749 I'M MEAT IN A ZIPLOC. HOW MUCH MORE REST DO I NEED? 317 00:19:03,750 --> 00:19:04,750 THAT'S NOT IMPORTANT. WHAT IS IMPORTANT IS 318 00:19:04,751 --> 00:19:06,391 THAT YOU SAY A PROPER GOODBYE TO THIS LIFE 319 00:19:06,415 --> 00:19:08,999 BEFORE YOU SAY HELLO TO THE NEXT ONE. 320 00:19:09,000 --> 00:19:10,416 WHAT DO YOU MEAN, "THE NEXT ONE"? 321 00:19:10,417 --> 00:19:12,057 WHAT, AM I BEING REINCARNATED OR SOMETHING? 322 00:19:16,291 --> 00:19:17,625 DON'T BE AN ASS. 323 00:19:20,917 --> 00:19:23,207 EVERYONE ALWAYS SAYS THE SAME SHIT AT FUNERALS. 324 00:19:23,208 --> 00:19:25,165 THEY TALK ABOUT HOW SWEET, WONDERFUL 325 00:19:25,166 --> 00:19:27,457 AND OH-SO-FULL-OF-LIFE YOU WERE, 326 00:19:27,458 --> 00:19:30,833 HOW IT WAS YOUR TIME AND YOU CAN'T QUESTION GOD'S PLAN. 327 00:19:30,834 --> 00:19:32,207 THEY NEVER SAY ANYTHING BAD. 328 00:19:32,208 --> 00:19:34,249 YOU COULD BE THE BIGGEST TURD IN THE TOILET BOWL 329 00:19:34,250 --> 00:19:36,374 AND YOU'D STILL COME OUT SMELLING LIKE A ROSE. 330 00:19:36,375 --> 00:19:38,708 SUCH A WONDERFUL GIRL, SO FULL OF LIFE. 331 00:19:47,166 --> 00:19:48,834 GET THOSE OUT OF HERE. 332 00:19:50,166 --> 00:19:51,708 GET OUT. GET OUT! 333 00:19:52,917 --> 00:19:55,833 AND BETTY, SHE JUST LOVES FUNERALS. 334 00:19:55,834 --> 00:19:57,474 YOU'D THINK SHE'D NEVER BEEN TO ONE BEFORE. 335 00:20:07,166 --> 00:20:09,291 I AM SO VERY SORRY FOR YOUR LOSS. 336 00:20:21,542 --> 00:20:23,916 EXCUSE ME, THIS SEAT'S TAKEN. 337 00:20:23,917 --> 00:20:25,375 OH, EXCUSE ME. 338 00:20:28,208 --> 00:20:29,208 [ GASPS ] 339 00:20:31,083 --> 00:20:33,916 HOW COME THEY CAN SEE YOU BUT THEY CAN'T SEE ME? 340 00:20:33,917 --> 00:20:35,040 WELL, PEANUT, YOU'RE DEAD. 341 00:20:35,041 --> 00:20:37,542 SO ARE YOU. BITE YOUR TONGUE! 342 00:20:38,625 --> 00:20:41,290 I'LL HAVE YOU KNOW I AM UNDEAD. 343 00:20:41,291 --> 00:20:42,624 WHAT'S THE DIFFERENCE? 344 00:20:42,625 --> 00:20:45,105 WELL, AS AN UNDEAD PERSON, I HAVE CERTAIN RIGHTS AND PRIVILEGES. 345 00:20:45,129 --> 00:20:47,624 FOR INSTANCE, I HAVE A PHYSICAL BODY. 346 00:20:47,625 --> 00:20:52,916 I CAN ENJOY THE SWEET DELICIOUSNESS OF THIS TASTY KEY LIME PIE. 347 00:20:52,917 --> 00:20:56,749 AND IF I SO CHOOSE, I CAN EVEN INTERACT WITH THE LIVING. 348 00:20:56,750 --> 00:20:58,416 OBSERVE. 349 00:20:58,417 --> 00:20:59,624 HOW DO YOU DO, SIR? 350 00:20:59,625 --> 00:21:00,208 FINE. 351 00:21:00,209 --> 00:21:02,290 SEE, YOU CAN'T DO THAT. 352 00:21:02,291 --> 00:21:03,416 THAT SUCKS. 353 00:21:03,417 --> 00:21:06,749 WELL, FOR YOU DEAD TYPES, SURE, BUT I LIKE IT. 354 00:21:06,750 --> 00:21:08,542 IT KEEPS THE RIFFRAFF IN ITS PLACE. 355 00:21:11,417 --> 00:21:13,791 I'M SO GLAD YOU'RE HERE. 356 00:21:13,792 --> 00:21:15,375 CLANCY, I'M SO SORRY. 357 00:21:23,959 --> 00:21:26,791 UH, IS A FRIENDLY HUG BETWEEN TWO MEN 358 00:21:26,792 --> 00:21:27,872 SUPPOSED TO LAST THAT LONG? 359 00:21:33,291 --> 00:21:35,208 AND THEN THERE WAS REGGIE. 360 00:22:13,792 --> 00:22:16,541 AFTER IGNORING HER FOR 10 YEARS, 361 00:22:16,542 --> 00:22:18,667 I GUESS IT WAS MY TURN TO BE THE INVISIBLE SISTER. 362 00:22:39,333 --> 00:22:41,249 YOU MISSED ALL THE COMMOTION. 363 00:22:41,250 --> 00:22:43,374 YOUR MOTHER WAS BAWLING SO HARD SHE STARTED TO CHOKE. 364 00:22:43,375 --> 00:22:44,750 THEY ALMOST CALLED AN AMBULANCE. 365 00:22:45,125 --> 00:22:46,666 REALLY? 366 00:22:46,667 --> 00:22:50,499 SHE'S A MESS. SHE'S NEVER GONNA STOP MISSING HER LITTLE GIRL. 367 00:22:50,500 --> 00:22:52,374 WELL, SINCE YOU'RE INTERACTION MAN, 368 00:22:52,375 --> 00:22:54,541 CAN'T YOU JUST TELL THEM I'M OKAY? 369 00:22:54,542 --> 00:22:55,707 I'LL GET RIGHT ON IT. 370 00:22:55,708 --> 00:22:57,999 [ GASPS ] THEN I'LL TELL THEM. 371 00:22:58,000 --> 00:22:59,874 HOW DO YOU PROPOSE DOING THAT? 372 00:22:59,875 --> 00:23:02,124 RATTLING SOME CHAINS, MAKING THE LIGHTS FLICKER? 373 00:23:02,125 --> 00:23:04,249 YOU KNOW HOW TO MAKE WIND SOUNDS? I COULD HELP YOU. 374 00:23:04,250 --> 00:23:06,249 I CAN DO THAT PART FOR YOU. 375 00:23:06,250 --> 00:23:07,707 [ BLOWING ] 376 00:23:07,708 --> 00:23:09,625 WHY DO YOU HAVE TO BE SUCH AS ASSHOLE? 377 00:23:52,917 --> 00:23:55,041 OH, GOD DAMN IT. 378 00:24:10,750 --> 00:24:13,833 SO, WHAT'S NEXT? ONWARD AND UPWARD? 379 00:24:13,834 --> 00:24:15,624 ONWARD, NOT UPWARD. 380 00:24:15,625 --> 00:24:19,833 NO PEARLY GATES FOR YOU. NO CHOIRS OF ANGELS, NEITHER. 381 00:24:19,834 --> 00:24:21,234 YOU DICK! YOU'RE SENDING ME TO HELL? 382 00:24:21,258 --> 00:24:24,666 DON'T FLATTER YOURSELF. YOU'RE NOT THAT INTERESTING. 383 00:24:24,667 --> 00:24:27,333 YOU, LITTLE DEAD GIRL, ARE GONNA BE A GRIM REAPER. 384 00:24:29,583 --> 00:24:30,999 HUH? 385 00:24:31,000 --> 00:24:33,749 HUNDREDS AND THOUSANDS OF PEOPLE DIE EVERY DAY. 386 00:24:33,750 --> 00:24:36,791 BODIES ARE EASY. DIG A DITCH, LIGHT A MATCH. 387 00:24:36,792 --> 00:24:38,712 BUT WHAT ABOUT THE SOULS? WHO TAKES CARE OF THEM? 388 00:24:40,542 --> 00:24:43,792 WE DO. WE'RE BAIL BONDSMEN FOR THE DISEMBODIED. 389 00:24:45,583 --> 00:24:47,666 SEE, ONCE THEIR SOULS DITCH THE FLESHY PARTS, 390 00:24:47,667 --> 00:24:51,249 THEY'RE IN OUR CUSTODY UNTIL THEY REACH THEIR FINAL DESTINATION. 391 00:24:51,250 --> 00:24:53,125 I ASSUME YOU'RE TALKING ABOUT HEAVEN? 392 00:24:53,708 --> 00:24:55,082 WHO KNOWS? 393 00:24:55,083 --> 00:24:57,416 WHATEVER IT IS, I HOPE IT'S NOT ALL GAUDY LIKE THE BIBLE. 394 00:24:57,417 --> 00:24:59,499 WELL, I LIKE TO THINK IT'S JUST LIKE THIS. [ SIGHS ] 395 00:24:59,500 --> 00:25:01,291 SO, DOES THIS MEAN THERE IS A GOD? 396 00:25:02,458 --> 00:25:03,458 WHAT DO YOU THINK? 397 00:25:05,291 --> 00:25:07,999 WILLKOMMEN TO THE WAFFLE HAUS. WHAT CAN I GET YOU? 398 00:25:08,000 --> 00:25:10,666 T-BONE STEAK AND EGGS, T-BONE MEDIUM RARE, EGGS OVER-EASY. 399 00:25:10,667 --> 00:25:11,542 I WANT TOAST INSTEAD OF HASH BROWNS. 400 00:25:11,543 --> 00:25:13,833 AND HOT SYRUP FOR THE PANCAKES, 401 00:25:13,834 --> 00:25:15,314 AND PLEASE DO NOT SKIMP ON THE BUTTER. 402 00:25:15,338 --> 00:25:18,005 AND A SIDE ORDER OF CRISPY BACON, EXTRA, EXTRA, EXTRA CRISPY. 403 00:25:18,542 --> 00:25:19,000 DRINK? 404 00:25:19,001 --> 00:25:21,999 LEMONADE. 405 00:25:22,000 --> 00:25:24,874 I'M NOT STAYING. I'VE GOT AN APPOINTMENT DOWNTOWN. 406 00:25:24,875 --> 00:25:26,500 I HOPE IT'S NOT ANOTHER DEAD HOOKER. 407 00:25:29,041 --> 00:25:30,083 MISS? 408 00:25:31,959 --> 00:25:33,166 MISS? 409 00:25:35,208 --> 00:25:38,457 YOU... YOU SAID NO ONE COULD SEE ME. 410 00:25:38,458 --> 00:25:40,658 WELL, THAT WAS BEFORE YOU JOINED THE RANKS OF THE UNDEAD. 411 00:25:40,682 --> 00:25:42,765 NOW ORDER SOMETHING BEFORE SHE THINKS YOU'RE RETARDED. 412 00:25:43,166 --> 00:25:44,667 WHAT HE'S HAVING. 413 00:25:47,458 --> 00:25:48,625 MMM-HMM. 414 00:25:50,125 --> 00:25:53,582 OKAY, I'M STILL HAVING TROUBLE WITH THIS WHOLE "WHY ME?" ISSUE. 415 00:25:53,583 --> 00:25:55,375 WELL, YOU FILLED SOMEONE'S QUOTA. 416 00:25:56,625 --> 00:26:00,749 EVERYONE'S ASSIGNED AN UNSPECIFIED ALLOTMENT OF SOULS TO COLLECT. 417 00:26:00,750 --> 00:26:06,332 NOW, YOU DON'T KNOW HOW MANY UNTIL YOU'VE NABBED THE LAST ONE. 418 00:26:06,333 --> 00:26:08,541 DO YOU REMEMBER THAT WEIRD GUY WHO ASKED YOU YOUR NAME 419 00:26:08,542 --> 00:26:10,541 RIGHT BEFORE YOU GOT TORPEDOED BY THE TOILET SEAT? 420 00:26:10,542 --> 00:26:11,582 YEAH. 421 00:26:11,583 --> 00:26:13,165 WELL, YOU WERE HIS LAST ONE. 422 00:26:13,166 --> 00:26:16,249 WHICH MEANS HE GETS A PROMOTION, NICE BENEFITS PACKAGE, 423 00:26:16,250 --> 00:26:17,666 AND YOU TAKE HIS PLACE. 424 00:26:17,667 --> 00:26:22,958 PERSONALLY, I WAS GLAD TO SEE HIM GO. HE WAS JUST A PAIN IN THE ASS. 425 00:26:22,959 --> 00:26:25,541 IT'S LIKE BEING THE MILLIONTH CUSTOMER SERVED, 426 00:26:25,542 --> 00:26:27,165 EXCEPT THERE'S NO SHOPPING SPREE. 427 00:26:27,166 --> 00:26:28,666 HE COULD'VE TOLD ME BEFORE. 428 00:26:28,667 --> 00:26:31,582 WELL, PARDON MY SAVOIR FAIRE. 429 00:26:31,583 --> 00:26:33,582 BUT DYING IS TRAUMATIC ENOUGH 430 00:26:33,583 --> 00:26:35,623 WITHOUT ALL THIS OTHER STUFF MESSING WITH YOUR HEAD. 431 00:26:35,647 --> 00:26:38,249 [ BETTY ]: OH, DON'T GO GETTING YOUR KNICKERS IN A KNOT. 432 00:26:38,250 --> 00:26:41,374 IT'S A DESTINY THING. ENJOY IT. 433 00:26:41,375 --> 00:26:44,791 THEY KEPT TOSSING AROUND WORDS LIKE "DESTINY" AND "FATE." 434 00:26:44,792 --> 00:26:47,249 THE WORD "CHOICE" WAS NEVER MENTIONED. 435 00:26:47,250 --> 00:26:49,208 THAT'S BECAUSE I DIDN'T HAVE ONE. 436 00:26:49,625 --> 00:26:50,625 OKAY, BYE. 437 00:26:50,626 --> 00:26:52,582 [ MUFFLED ] BYE-BYE. 438 00:26:52,583 --> 00:26:54,291 AND CONGRATULATIONS. 439 00:26:56,041 --> 00:26:57,641 [ MUFFLED ] ARE YOU GONNA EAT YOUR BACON? 440 00:27:01,125 --> 00:27:06,040 AND JUST LIKE THAT, I BECAME A GRIM REAPER. SWEAR TO GOD! 441 00:27:06,041 --> 00:27:10,791 I WAS BORN AGAIN. BUT NOT IN A CREEPY, RELIGIOUS WAY. 442 00:27:10,792 --> 00:27:14,499 ALL AROUND ME WAS A BRIGHT, SHINY NEW WORLD. 443 00:27:14,500 --> 00:27:15,875 AND DEATH WAS EVERYWHERE. 444 00:27:19,458 --> 00:27:21,291 INFECTIOUS AND PARASITIC DISEASE. 445 00:27:22,500 --> 00:27:25,040 CIRCULATORY SYSTEM DISEASE. 446 00:27:25,041 --> 00:27:27,124 MALIGNANT NEOPLASMS. 447 00:27:27,125 --> 00:27:28,416 THOSE WERE THE BIG THREE, 448 00:27:28,417 --> 00:27:29,897 THE LEADING CAUSES OF DEATH WORLDWIDE. 449 00:27:31,542 --> 00:27:32,791 BUT THEY WEREN'T MY PROBLEM. 450 00:27:32,792 --> 00:27:34,958 GRIM REAPERS ARE ASSIGNED TO SPECIFIC DIVISIONS. 451 00:27:34,959 --> 00:27:39,625 MY DIVISION IS EXTERNAL INFLUENCE. TRANSLATION, 452 00:27:40,792 --> 00:27:46,666 MURDERS, SUICIDES, ACCIDENTS, ET CETERA. 453 00:27:46,667 --> 00:27:48,667 AND I DO MEAN ET CETERA. 454 00:28:27,458 --> 00:28:30,082 THAT'S ROXY. SHE COULD KICK YOUR ASS. 455 00:28:30,083 --> 00:28:32,499 EVERY REAPER HAS THEIR OWN DISTINCT STYLE, 456 00:28:32,500 --> 00:28:36,583 YOU KNOW, THOSE LITTLE PERSONAL TOUCHES THAT MAKE DEATH SO SPECIAL. 457 00:28:41,291 --> 00:28:43,124 MORNING. 458 00:28:43,125 --> 00:28:44,291 MORNING. 459 00:28:45,708 --> 00:28:48,999 YOU DON'T JUST STAND THERE WAITING FOR A PIANO TO DROP. 460 00:28:49,000 --> 00:28:52,707 IN POLITE SOCIETY, YOU'D TAKE HER SOUL AT THE CORNER, 461 00:28:52,708 --> 00:28:54,417 YOU'D LET HER HAVE A LITTLE DIGNITY. 462 00:29:05,083 --> 00:29:08,582 SO, DO YOU GUYS GET OFF DROPPING PIANOS ON PEOPLE? 463 00:29:08,583 --> 00:29:10,263 I MEAN, IS THAT LIKE A FETISH OR SOMETHING? 464 00:29:10,287 --> 00:29:13,707 IT'S NOT OUR JOB TO DROP THE PIANOS OR THE TOILET SEATS. 465 00:29:13,708 --> 00:29:14,875 WHOSE JOB IS IT? 466 00:29:15,959 --> 00:29:17,083 GRAVELINGS. 467 00:29:18,417 --> 00:29:20,165 GRAVELINGS? 468 00:29:20,166 --> 00:29:20,834 ARE THEY INVISIBLE? 469 00:29:20,835 --> 00:29:23,040 NO, THEY'RE NOT INVISIBLE. 470 00:29:23,041 --> 00:29:24,082 YOU JUST CAN'T SEE THEM, 471 00:29:24,083 --> 00:29:26,249 NOT WHEN YOU'RE LOOKING RIGHT AT THEM, ANYWAY. 472 00:29:26,250 --> 00:29:28,082 BUT SOMETIMES IF SOMETHING'S ABOUT TO HAPPEN, 473 00:29:28,083 --> 00:29:29,165 OR JUST HAPPENED, 474 00:29:29,166 --> 00:29:29,959 YOU MIGHT CATCH A GLIMPSE OF ONE OF THEM 475 00:29:29,960 --> 00:29:32,082 OUT OF THE CORNER OF YOUR EYE. 476 00:29:32,083 --> 00:29:33,499 SO JUST DON'T FREAK OUT. 477 00:29:33,500 --> 00:29:34,875 BUT THEY'RE REAL? 478 00:29:38,667 --> 00:29:40,166 YEAH, AFRAID SO. 479 00:29:42,542 --> 00:29:46,667 THEY SET THINGS IN MOTION, THEY MAKE THE ACCIDENTS HAPPEN. 480 00:29:47,250 --> 00:29:48,541 THEY KILL PEOPLE? 481 00:29:48,542 --> 00:29:50,249 IT'S LIKE... LIFE AND DEATH, 482 00:29:50,250 --> 00:29:51,791 THEY HAVE TO EXIST IN PERFECT HARMONY, 483 00:29:51,792 --> 00:29:53,916 YIN-YANG, CALL IT WHAT YOU WANT, 484 00:29:53,917 --> 00:29:59,040 BUT THAT BALANCE HAS TO BE MAINTAINED. 485 00:29:59,041 --> 00:30:00,561 OR ELSE? OR ELSE THINGS GET OUT OF HAND. 486 00:30:00,585 --> 00:30:02,084 AND THAT AIN'T PRETTY. 487 00:30:06,250 --> 00:30:08,040 HEY, WHAT'S UP, PUSSYCAT? HEY, MAN. 488 00:30:08,041 --> 00:30:09,124 GEORGE, THIS IS MASON. 489 00:30:09,125 --> 00:30:11,624 MASON. OH, MASON, MASON, MASON! 490 00:30:11,625 --> 00:30:13,290 MASON, GEORGE. HEY. 491 00:30:13,291 --> 00:30:15,771 DOES THIS CRACKER HAVE TO STOP AND TALK TO EVERY... [ SHUSHING ] 492 00:30:15,795 --> 00:30:17,332 YOU JUST SHUSHED ME. NOW WHY YOU GOTTA 493 00:30:17,333 --> 00:30:18,613 GO AND DO THAT, MAN? THAT'S RUDE. 494 00:30:18,637 --> 00:30:20,791 IT'S DISRESPECTING THE DEAD. 495 00:30:20,792 --> 00:30:22,999 ALL RIGHT, COME HERE. 496 00:30:23,000 --> 00:30:26,457 YOU TWO JUST MURDERED EACH OTHER IN A CRACK DEN. 497 00:30:26,458 --> 00:30:27,417 YOU DO NOT DESERVE MY RESPECT. 498 00:30:27,418 --> 00:30:29,667 HENCE... SHH. 499 00:30:30,959 --> 00:30:32,082 THAT'S COLD, MAN. 500 00:30:32,083 --> 00:30:33,416 MMM-HMM. 501 00:30:33,417 --> 00:30:37,332 GEORGE DIED A WEEK AGO IN A FREAK AEROSPACE ACCIDENT. 502 00:30:37,333 --> 00:30:40,916 YEAH. YEAH, I REMEMBER YOU. TOILET SEAT GIRL. 503 00:30:40,917 --> 00:30:41,834 [ SNICKERS ] 504 00:30:41,835 --> 00:30:43,475 LOOK, YOU ALREADY GOT YOURSELF A NICKNAME. 505 00:30:43,476 --> 00:30:45,308 TOILET SEAT GIRL NEEDS TO FIND A PLACE TO STAY. 506 00:30:45,309 --> 00:30:47,582 YOU WOULDN'T HAPPEN TO KNOW OF ANY VACANCIES? 507 00:30:47,583 --> 00:30:49,040 I KNOW THAT PLACE IN SPRING HILL. 508 00:30:49,041 --> 00:30:49,917 I DON'T KNOW IF IT'S STILL AVAILABLE, BUT... 509 00:30:49,918 --> 00:30:51,999 WELL, DO ME A FAVOR. FIND OUT. 510 00:30:52,000 --> 00:30:53,499 AND CAN YOU TAKE HER WITH? I NEED A BREAK. 511 00:30:53,500 --> 00:30:54,833 I LOVE YOU, PEANUT, BUT YOU'RE WEARING ME OUT. 512 00:30:54,834 --> 00:30:57,290 I'LL SEE TO IT MUTT AND JEFF HERE GET TO WHERE THEY'RE GOING. 513 00:30:57,291 --> 00:30:58,624 IF YOU REALLY WANNA BE MY HERO, 514 00:30:58,625 --> 00:31:00,833 YOU'LL LET HER TAG along to your 2:30. 515 00:31:00,834 --> 00:31:02,474 SHE NEEDS TO CLOCK SOME OBSERVATION HOURS. 516 00:31:02,498 --> 00:31:03,582 WHEN DO YOU WANT HER BACK? 517 00:31:03,583 --> 00:31:06,374 9:30 A.M. AT THE WAFFLE HAUS, BANANA BONANZAS, MY TREAT. 518 00:31:06,375 --> 00:31:08,374 THERE'S YOUR BUS. GO ON WITH THE NICE MAN. 519 00:31:08,375 --> 00:31:09,375 COME ON, HERE WE GO. 520 00:31:13,667 --> 00:31:15,999 WELL, IT'S RENTED OUT TO SOME ACCOUNTANT GUY. 521 00:31:16,000 --> 00:31:18,749 HE COOKED THE BOOKS FOR ONE OF THOSE TRIBAL CASINOS. 522 00:31:18,750 --> 00:31:21,708 HE'S MADE SURE THAT ALL THEIR BILLS ARE PAID FROM AN OFF-SHORE ACCOUNT. 523 00:31:22,959 --> 00:31:23,959 [ CLICKING ] 524 00:31:27,417 --> 00:31:28,791 HOW DID HE DIE? 525 00:31:28,792 --> 00:31:30,542 I DON'T KNOW, DIDN'T ASK. 526 00:31:33,834 --> 00:31:36,082 THE BILLS ARE PAID UNTIL WHEN? 527 00:31:36,083 --> 00:31:37,916 UNTIL SOMEONE CLOSES THE ACCOUNT. 528 00:31:37,917 --> 00:31:39,749 MEANTIME, YOU SQUAT. AS IN... 529 00:31:39,750 --> 00:31:42,430 AS IN SETTLING ON PROPERTY WITHOUT RIGHT OR TITLE OR PAYMENT OF RENT. 530 00:31:43,667 --> 00:31:45,457 REAPERS ARE SQUATTERS? 531 00:31:45,458 --> 00:31:47,374 THINK OF IT AS SUBSIDIZED HOUSING. 532 00:31:47,375 --> 00:31:48,916 WE PERFORM A PUBLIC SERVICE, DON'T WE? 533 00:31:48,917 --> 00:31:51,291 THE LIVING PROBABLY DON'T THINK SO. 534 00:31:52,708 --> 00:31:55,207 WHAT IF SOMEONE SHOWS UP? 535 00:31:55,208 --> 00:31:57,290 YOU WALK AWAY. 536 00:31:57,291 --> 00:31:59,091 UNLESS YOU TRASH THE PLACE, THEN YOU RUN AWAY. 537 00:31:59,115 --> 00:32:01,707 SO, HOW DOES THIS WORK? I JUST CRASH HERE? 538 00:32:01,708 --> 00:32:03,749 YEAH, MORE OR LESS. 539 00:32:03,750 --> 00:32:05,916 DO I GET KEYS? IF YOU CAN FIND THEM. 540 00:32:05,917 --> 00:32:07,959 WHAT ARE YOU... JESUS CHRIST! 541 00:32:08,417 --> 00:32:10,124 WHAT? 542 00:32:10,125 --> 00:32:11,458 [ SHOUTING ] JESUS CHRIST! 543 00:32:12,458 --> 00:32:13,707 JESUS CHRIST! 544 00:32:13,708 --> 00:32:15,000 DON'T GET LOUD. WHAT? 545 00:32:16,208 --> 00:32:17,667 THOSE ARE DEAD PEOPLE. 546 00:32:19,041 --> 00:32:20,041 NO SHIT! 547 00:32:21,375 --> 00:32:24,166 I CAN'T LIVE WITH DEAD PEOPLE. THAT'S GROSS! 548 00:32:26,083 --> 00:32:28,541 YOU WON'T HAVE TO. LOOK AT THESE BODIES. 549 00:32:28,542 --> 00:32:32,916 EXECUTION, EXECUTION, EXECUTION. 550 00:32:32,917 --> 00:32:35,165 THESE GUYS HERE WERE PROBABLY TORTURED TO DEATH. 551 00:32:35,166 --> 00:32:37,374 NO, THIS IS A PROFESSIONAL JOB. 552 00:32:37,375 --> 00:32:38,958 SO? 553 00:32:38,959 --> 00:32:43,749 SO THESE BODIES AREN'T JUST GONNA LAY AROUND. THEY'LL DISAPPEAR. 554 00:32:43,750 --> 00:32:46,959 THEY'VE GOT CLEANING CREWS FOR THIS KIND OF THING, YOU KNOW. 555 00:32:48,625 --> 00:32:51,457 YUP. THEY'RE PROBABLY ON THEIR WAY RIGHT NOW 556 00:32:51,458 --> 00:32:54,708 WITH A COUPLE OF VATS OF ACID AND A CARPET STEAMER. 557 00:33:01,917 --> 00:33:03,333 WHAT ARE YOU DOING? 558 00:33:04,083 --> 00:33:05,999 COLLECTING MY SALARY. 559 00:33:06,000 --> 00:33:08,291 LEAVE THE PLASTIC. CASH IS KING. 560 00:33:10,667 --> 00:33:13,250 WE DON'T GET PAID, LIKE, THROUGH PROPER CHANNELS? 561 00:33:15,417 --> 00:33:17,208 NO. 562 00:33:18,041 --> 00:33:19,374 I KEPT TELLING MYSELF, 563 00:33:19,375 --> 00:33:22,082 "THEY'RE DEAD. IT'S A VICTIMLESS CRIME." 564 00:33:22,083 --> 00:33:23,624 THEN IT OCCURRED TO ME THAT 565 00:33:23,625 --> 00:33:26,541 THAT'S PROBABLY WHAT THOSE GUYS WHO HAVE SEX WITH CORPSES DO. 566 00:33:26,542 --> 00:33:27,958 THERE'S THE ACCOUNTANT OVER THERE. 567 00:33:27,959 --> 00:33:29,639 WHY DON'T YOU CHECK HIS POCKET FOR THE KEYS? 568 00:33:30,500 --> 00:33:31,625 OH. 569 00:33:44,125 --> 00:33:45,958 UM... 570 00:33:45,959 --> 00:33:48,958 NOT THAT I'M ANY GREAT BASTION OF MORALITY, 571 00:33:48,959 --> 00:33:53,499 BUT ISN'T STEALING FROM DEAD PEOPLE KIND OF TACKY? 572 00:33:53,500 --> 00:33:57,250 WELL, IT'S EITHER THIS OR GET YOURSELF A DAY JOB. 573 00:33:57,834 --> 00:33:58,999 HE'S NOT JOKING. 574 00:33:59,000 --> 00:34:01,541 THE US GOVERNMENT DOESN'T PROVIDE 575 00:34:01,542 --> 00:34:02,999 FOOD STAMPS FOR GRIM REAPERS. 576 00:34:03,000 --> 00:34:04,749 WE DON'T HAVE SPECIAL BUS PASSES, 577 00:34:04,750 --> 00:34:06,230 AND WE DON'T GET INTO MOVIES FOR FREE. 578 00:34:06,231 --> 00:34:07,991 MOST REAPERS TAKE WHAT THEY CAN FROM THE DEAD. 579 00:34:08,015 --> 00:34:10,499 OTHERS GET DAY JOBS. 580 00:34:10,500 --> 00:34:12,332 DO I NEED TO BE CROSSING OVER, 581 00:34:12,333 --> 00:34:14,124 OR PASSING ON OR SOMETHING? 582 00:34:14,125 --> 00:34:16,916 [ CHUCKLES ] YOU AIN'T GOING NOWHERE UNTIL I'VE FILLED MY QUOTA. 583 00:34:16,917 --> 00:34:18,750 [ STARTING ENGINE ] [ SIGHS ] 584 00:34:20,542 --> 00:34:22,666 [ DOOR OPENS ] 585 00:34:22,667 --> 00:34:24,291 [ FOOTSTEPS ] 586 00:34:27,291 --> 00:34:28,291 HI. WHAT YOU GUYS DOING? 587 00:34:29,959 --> 00:34:31,541 LOOKING FOR KEYS. 588 00:34:31,542 --> 00:34:33,582 I HAVE THEM. I CALLED DIBS TWO HOURS AGO. 589 00:34:33,583 --> 00:34:34,999 YOU'VE GOT A PLACE. 590 00:34:35,000 --> 00:34:36,290 PROBATE'S OVER. 591 00:34:36,291 --> 00:34:40,374 MY REAL ESTATE AGENT ASKED ME TO LEAVE. IT WAS ALL VERY CIVIL. 592 00:34:40,375 --> 00:34:43,916 NOW WE'RE GONNA HAVE TO FIND HER SOMEWHERE TO STAY. 593 00:34:43,917 --> 00:34:46,249 WELL, CAN'T I JUST COUCH-SURF WITH ONE OF YOU GUYS FOR 594 00:34:46,250 --> 00:34:47,707 A COUPLE OF DAYS? 595 00:34:47,708 --> 00:34:49,249 MMM. SEE, THAT'S THE PROBLEM. 596 00:34:49,250 --> 00:34:51,249 IT'S NEVER JUST A COUPLE OF DAYS, IS IT? 597 00:34:51,250 --> 00:34:54,958 NO. TWO DAYS BECOMES A WEEK, A WEEK BECOMES A MONTH, 598 00:34:54,959 --> 00:34:56,916 WE DON'T KNOW ANYTHING ABOUT YOU. 599 00:34:56,917 --> 00:34:58,499 I MEAN, YOU COULD BE A CRAZY PERSON, 600 00:34:58,500 --> 00:35:00,999 AND THERE WE'D BE, JUST INVITING YOU INTO OUR HOMES. 601 00:35:01,000 --> 00:35:02,792 YOU UNDERSTAND OUR POSITION. 602 00:35:09,542 --> 00:35:11,958 FRIENDS OF MINE IN CIRCULATORY SYSTEM DISEASE 603 00:35:11,959 --> 00:35:14,416 GIVE ME THE SKINNY ON VACANCIES IN THEIR DIVISION. 604 00:35:14,417 --> 00:35:17,582 NOW, I DON'T NORMALLY SHARE PRIVILEGED 411, 605 00:35:17,583 --> 00:35:20,040 BUT I LIKE YOU, TOILET-SEAT GIRL. YOU'VE GOT MOXIE. 606 00:35:20,041 --> 00:35:21,207 THERE'S NOT GOING TO BE, LIKE, 607 00:35:21,208 --> 00:35:23,249 ARTERIAL SPRAY EVERYWHERE, IS THERE? 608 00:35:23,250 --> 00:35:23,917 WELL, LET'S HOPE HE WAS CONSIDERATE ENOUGH 609 00:35:23,918 --> 00:35:26,000 TO DIE OUTSIDE THE HOME. 610 00:35:27,000 --> 00:35:29,833 ENTER THE ANGRY WHITE MAN. 611 00:35:29,834 --> 00:35:30,750 WHAT THE FUCK YOU DOING? 612 00:35:30,751 --> 00:35:32,791 AND WHO ARE YOU? 613 00:35:32,792 --> 00:35:34,082 WHO THE FUCK ARE YOU, BITCH? 614 00:35:34,083 --> 00:35:35,283 WE'RE HERE ABOUT THE APARTMENT. 615 00:35:35,625 --> 00:35:36,958 OCCUPIED. 616 00:35:36,959 --> 00:35:37,959 FUCK OFF. 617 00:35:43,125 --> 00:35:44,125 HE CALLED YOU "BITCH." 618 00:35:45,041 --> 00:35:47,040 MAYBE WE SHOULD LET HIM KEEP IT. 619 00:35:47,041 --> 00:35:48,641 I'M NOT GOING TO CO-SIGN ON HIS BULLSHIT. 620 00:35:48,959 --> 00:35:50,959 CALL ME BITCH, BITCH. 621 00:35:52,041 --> 00:35:53,249 SORRY TO DISTURB YOU AGAIN. 622 00:35:53,250 --> 00:35:56,499 IT'S JUST THAT ME AND MY COLLEAGUES HERE 623 00:35:56,500 --> 00:35:57,041 REPRESENT THE LOCAL... 624 00:35:57,042 --> 00:35:58,165 UH, HOUSING AUTHORITY. 625 00:35:58,166 --> 00:36:01,583 THE TENANT OF APARTMENT 12J IS DECEASED. 626 00:36:02,291 --> 00:36:03,707 THIS IS 12J. 627 00:36:03,708 --> 00:36:05,374 YES. YES, IT IS. 628 00:36:05,375 --> 00:36:07,916 THEREFORE, WE'RE GOING TO HAVE TO ASK YOU TO LEAVE NOW. 629 00:36:07,917 --> 00:36:10,082 I GOT RIGHTS, COCK-KNOCKER. 630 00:36:10,083 --> 00:36:11,207 I AIN'T GOING NOWHERE. 631 00:36:11,208 --> 00:36:14,374 LOCAL AND STATE LAWS WHICH PROVIDE TENANTS' RIGHTS 632 00:36:14,375 --> 00:36:16,999 ARE ONLY APPLICABLE TO TRADITIONAL RENTAL SITUATIONS. 633 00:36:17,000 --> 00:36:19,833 THEY DON'T COVER SQUATTING. 634 00:36:19,834 --> 00:36:21,750 MY NAME'S ON THE LEASE, YOU PIECE OF SHIT. 635 00:36:24,083 --> 00:36:25,582 EXCUSE ME? 636 00:36:25,583 --> 00:36:27,416 MY NAME'S ON THE GODDAMN LEASE. 637 00:36:27,417 --> 00:36:28,707 I WANT TO SEE SOME I.D. 638 00:36:28,708 --> 00:36:29,708 YOU'RE D.W. MANIS? 639 00:36:30,125 --> 00:36:32,000 THAT'S RIGHT. 640 00:36:33,583 --> 00:36:34,833 YOU SAID HE WAS DEAD. 641 00:36:34,834 --> 00:36:37,234 I'M ALIVE AND KICKING YOUR ASS IF YOU DON'T GET THE HELL OUT. 642 00:36:37,708 --> 00:36:39,040 I, UH... 643 00:36:39,041 --> 00:36:40,249 I'M SO EMBARRASSED. 644 00:36:40,250 --> 00:36:41,499 I'M, I'M, I'M, I'M... 645 00:36:41,500 --> 00:36:42,749 WHAT DID YOU DO? 646 00:36:42,750 --> 00:36:43,375 WELL, I MADE A MISTAKE. 647 00:36:43,376 --> 00:36:44,916 YOU'RE DAMN RIGHT YOU DID. 648 00:36:44,917 --> 00:36:46,375 EXCUSE US. 649 00:36:53,792 --> 00:36:57,875 WELL, HE WASN'T SCHEDULED TO DIE UNTIL NEXT TUESDAY. 650 00:37:00,625 --> 00:37:01,707 ARE YOU SHITTING ME? 651 00:37:01,708 --> 00:37:04,541 I THOUGHT IT SAID THE FIRST, BUT IT WAS THE SEVENTH. 652 00:37:04,542 --> 00:37:06,666 SEE? I MEAN, DOESN'T THAT LOOK LIKE A ONE? 653 00:37:06,667 --> 00:37:08,082 THAT'S YOUR HANDWRITING. 654 00:37:08,083 --> 00:37:09,792 WELL, I FEEL BAD ENOUGH ALREADY. 655 00:37:11,458 --> 00:37:12,582 WHAT ARE WE GOING TO DO NOW? 656 00:37:12,583 --> 00:37:15,000 I THINK WE SHOULD PROBABLY LEAVE. 657 00:37:15,834 --> 00:37:18,332 OKAY, WE'LL COME BACK NEXT TUESDAY. 658 00:37:18,333 --> 00:37:20,791 HAVE A NICE WEEK. 659 00:37:20,792 --> 00:37:21,874 THE ANGRY WHITE MAN 660 00:37:21,875 --> 00:37:23,515 WOULD KEEP HIS APARTMENT FOR SIX MORE DAYS 661 00:37:23,539 --> 00:37:25,497 BEFORE CORONARY THROMBOSIS TERMINATED HIS LEASE. 662 00:37:27,542 --> 00:37:29,458 IN THE MEANTIME, I WAS HOMELESS. 663 00:37:35,750 --> 00:37:38,082 DO YOU REMEMBER THE FIRST TIME 664 00:37:38,083 --> 00:37:40,249 YOU ASKED YOUR PARENTS ABOUT THE D-WORD? 665 00:37:40,250 --> 00:37:41,917 MY DAD JUST ABOUT SHIT HIS PANTS. 666 00:37:42,333 --> 00:37:44,083 HE TOLD ME... 667 00:37:44,500 --> 00:37:45,749 NOT TO WORRY. 668 00:37:45,750 --> 00:37:48,332 HE SAID THAT MOST PEOPLE DIE WHEN THEY'RE SO OLD, 669 00:37:48,333 --> 00:37:50,417 THEY DON'T CARE ABOUT LIVING ANYMORE. 670 00:37:53,750 --> 00:37:54,833 I'M SORRY, I TUNED YOU OUT. 671 00:37:54,834 --> 00:37:56,250 WERE YOU WHINING? 672 00:37:56,917 --> 00:37:58,999 I DIDN'T SLEEP FOR A MONTH. 673 00:37:59,000 --> 00:38:00,360 AS CHILDHOOD TRAUMAS GO, NOTHING... 674 00:38:00,384 --> 00:38:02,791 NOTHING BEATS THE REALIZATION 675 00:38:02,792 --> 00:38:03,792 THAT EVERYTHING DIES, 676 00:38:05,959 --> 00:38:06,959 INCLUDING YOU. 677 00:38:09,625 --> 00:38:10,791 SO MUCH WORSE THAN ANYTHING 678 00:38:10,792 --> 00:38:12,582 YOUR PARENTS COULD EVER DO TO YOU, YOU KNOW? 679 00:38:12,583 --> 00:38:14,541 I WAS ALWAYS A HAPPY CHILD. 680 00:38:14,542 --> 00:38:16,333 I NEVER THOUGHT ABOUT DEATH THAT MUCH. 681 00:38:17,875 --> 00:38:19,275 YOU GUYS WANT TO GET SOME ICE CREAM? 682 00:38:23,125 --> 00:38:24,365 BETTY TREATED US TO AN ICE CREAM 683 00:38:24,389 --> 00:38:26,582 AND WENT ON HER WAY. 684 00:38:26,583 --> 00:38:28,791 I HAD CHOCOLATE-CHOCOLATE SOMETHING. 685 00:38:28,792 --> 00:38:30,499 MASON HAD VANILLA. 686 00:38:30,500 --> 00:38:32,332 NORMALLY, I'D FIND THAT SUSPICIOUS, 687 00:38:32,333 --> 00:38:35,499 BUT ON HIM, IT WAS ENDEARING. 688 00:38:35,500 --> 00:38:37,666 HEY, LOOK. 689 00:38:37,667 --> 00:38:39,500 THIS IS WHAT WE LOOK LIKE TO THE LIVING. 690 00:38:40,125 --> 00:38:41,125 HOLY SHIT. 691 00:38:42,625 --> 00:38:45,207 "LITTLE BUNNY FOO-FOO..." 692 00:38:45,208 --> 00:38:47,290 OF ALL THE THINGS THAT GO WITH BEING UNDEAD, 693 00:38:47,291 --> 00:38:48,625 THIS ONE FREAKED ME OUT THE MOST. 694 00:38:50,959 --> 00:38:52,958 WHO DECIDES WHAT WE LOOK LIKE? 695 00:38:52,959 --> 00:38:54,457 I DON'T KNOW. 696 00:38:54,458 --> 00:38:58,290 MAYBE THIS IS WHAT OUR INNER CHILD LOOKS LIKE WHEN IT GROWS UP. 697 00:38:58,291 --> 00:38:59,666 IF THAT WERE THE CASE, 698 00:38:59,667 --> 00:39:01,874 IT LOOKED LIKE MY INNER-CHILD'S ROAD TO ADULTHOOD 699 00:39:01,875 --> 00:39:05,165 WAS PAVED WITH CRACK-COCAINE, $10 BLOW JOBS, 700 00:39:05,166 --> 00:39:07,625 AND MAYBE EVEN A TRICK-BABY OR TWO. 701 00:39:08,208 --> 00:39:10,375 YOU THINK SHE'S PRETTY? 702 00:39:13,708 --> 00:39:14,999 NOT AS PRETTY AS YOU. 703 00:39:15,000 --> 00:39:16,541 I SHOULD HAVE SAID THANK YOU. 704 00:39:16,542 --> 00:39:17,833 I WANTED TO SAY THANK YOU. 705 00:39:17,834 --> 00:39:21,791 I WANTED TO SMILE, AND FLIRT, AND GIGGLE, 706 00:39:21,792 --> 00:39:22,166 BUT INSTEAD, I SAID... 707 00:39:22,167 --> 00:39:24,041 WHATEVER. 708 00:39:41,250 --> 00:39:42,330 BE AS THE FLY UPON THE WALL. 709 00:39:42,354 --> 00:39:45,040 OBSERVE. DO NOT INTERACT. 710 00:39:45,041 --> 00:39:46,332 THAT'S VERY ZEN OF YOU. 711 00:39:46,333 --> 00:39:47,749 YOU MUST SMOKE POT. 712 00:39:47,750 --> 00:39:49,374 SERIOUSLY. 713 00:39:49,375 --> 00:39:52,541 SOME REAPERS BELIEVE THAT YOUR APPOINTMENT WITH DEATH 714 00:39:52,542 --> 00:39:54,874 IS ON THE BOOKS BEFORE YOU'RE EVEN BORN. 715 00:39:54,875 --> 00:39:55,667 WHAT IF THEY DON'T MAKE THE APPOINTMENT? 716 00:39:55,668 --> 00:39:58,207 OOH... HOW SHOULD I KNOW THAT ONE? 717 00:39:58,208 --> 00:40:00,666 ALL I'M SAYING IS DON'T TURN UP, 718 00:40:00,667 --> 00:40:02,707 AND START MOVING SHIT AROUND, AND TALKING TO PEOPLE, 719 00:40:02,731 --> 00:40:04,749 BECAUSE YOU... 720 00:40:04,750 --> 00:40:06,541 YOU MIGHT CHANGE THE OUTCOME OF EVENTS. 721 00:40:06,542 --> 00:40:08,416 TREAT IT LIKE A RETROACTIVE CRIME SCENE. 722 00:40:08,417 --> 00:40:10,165 YOU STICK TO THE SIDELINES, 723 00:40:10,166 --> 00:40:11,624 AND LOOK FOR HIGH-RISK FACTORS. 724 00:40:11,625 --> 00:40:12,625 LIKE WHAT? 725 00:40:13,458 --> 00:40:15,917 THE PEOPLE BEHIND THAT COUNTER. 726 00:40:20,417 --> 00:40:21,999 THEY'RE MISERABLE. 727 00:40:22,000 --> 00:40:23,875 UNHAPPY PEOPLE DO UNHAPPY THINGS. 728 00:40:25,417 --> 00:40:27,165 BOB'S THE BIG BOY ON THE LADDER. 729 00:40:27,166 --> 00:40:28,707 HE COULD SLIP AND FALL. 730 00:40:28,708 --> 00:40:30,250 HE COULD SLIP AND FALL ON SOMEBODY. 731 00:40:30,583 --> 00:40:32,290 TWEAKER-CHICK. 732 00:40:32,291 --> 00:40:34,624 FOR ALL WE KNOW, SHE'S FREE-BASING IN THE LADIES' ROOM. 733 00:40:34,625 --> 00:40:36,082 THIS COULD BE AN OVERDOSE. 734 00:40:36,083 --> 00:40:37,457 MAYBE SHE JUST GOT HER PERIOD. 735 00:40:37,458 --> 00:40:38,458 LIGHTEN UP. 736 00:40:39,417 --> 00:40:40,792 YOU GET THE PICTURE. 737 00:40:58,125 --> 00:40:59,125 IT'S LIKE CLUE. 738 00:41:01,500 --> 00:41:02,624 HUH? 739 00:41:02,625 --> 00:41:03,917 GRAVELING IN THE BANK LOBBY 740 00:41:04,792 --> 00:41:06,250 WITH A BANANA PEEL. 741 00:41:07,083 --> 00:41:08,124 ALL RIGHT. 742 00:41:08,125 --> 00:41:09,541 MIGHT NOT BE A GRAVELING. 743 00:41:09,542 --> 00:41:10,291 COULD BE MURDER, COULD BE SUICIDE, 744 00:41:10,292 --> 00:41:12,583 COULD BE FOOD POISONING. 745 00:41:13,417 --> 00:41:15,125 IT'S THE BANANA PEEL. 746 00:41:15,792 --> 00:41:17,917 GRAVELING. BANANA PEEL. 747 00:41:18,917 --> 00:41:20,249 OKAY. 748 00:41:20,250 --> 00:41:21,410 LET'S SAY IT IS THE GRAVELING. 749 00:41:21,434 --> 00:41:22,624 BANANA WAS A BIT TOO OBVIOUS. 750 00:41:22,625 --> 00:41:24,624 I SAW THEM DROP A PIANO ON SOME CHICK'S HEAD. 751 00:41:24,625 --> 00:41:27,582 THEY'RE NOT SCORING POINTS FOR ORIGINALITY. 752 00:41:27,583 --> 00:41:29,333 IT'S NOT THE BANANA PEEL, ALL RIGHT? 753 00:41:30,792 --> 00:41:33,625 IF IT'S NOT THE BANANA PEEL, GO THROW IT IN THE GARBAGE. 754 00:41:39,166 --> 00:41:40,834 FINE. I'LL DO IT. 755 00:41:44,083 --> 00:41:46,958 ALL RIGHT. I'M WILLING TO ENTERTAIN THE POSSIBILITY 756 00:41:46,959 --> 00:41:48,290 THAT IT MIGHT BE THE BANANA PEEL. 757 00:41:48,291 --> 00:41:50,000 NOW SIT BACK DOWN. 758 00:41:54,834 --> 00:41:56,833 THAT'S WHAT I THOUGHT YOU WERE GOING TO SAY. 759 00:41:56,834 --> 00:41:57,834 YEAH. 760 00:41:59,000 --> 00:42:00,625 SO HOW MUCH DO WE KNOW ABOUT THIS PERSON? 761 00:42:01,917 --> 00:42:02,917 WHO? 762 00:42:02,918 --> 00:42:05,083 UH, THE ONE THAT'S GOING TO DIE? 763 00:42:05,500 --> 00:42:07,082 OH. NOT A LOT. 764 00:42:07,083 --> 00:42:09,040 LAST NAME'S MOORE. 765 00:42:09,041 --> 00:42:10,542 INITIALS B.M. 766 00:42:13,208 --> 00:42:14,208 B.M. MOORE. 767 00:42:15,458 --> 00:42:16,458 THAT'S WHAT IT SAYS. 768 00:42:21,000 --> 00:42:23,083 E.T.D. IS 2:36. 769 00:42:23,500 --> 00:42:24,500 E.T.D.? 770 00:42:24,501 --> 00:42:26,291 ESTIMATED TIME OF DEATH. 771 00:42:28,750 --> 00:42:32,625 SO IS OUR B.M. A HE OR A SHE? 772 00:42:33,041 --> 00:42:34,208 I DON'T KNOW. 773 00:42:34,792 --> 00:42:35,958 YOU'RE KIDDING. 774 00:42:35,959 --> 00:42:37,040 NO, I'M NOT KIDDING. 775 00:42:37,041 --> 00:42:39,541 WE GET A NAME, AN ADDRESS, AND AN E.T.D. 776 00:42:39,542 --> 00:42:41,290 THAT'S THE STUPIDEST THING I'VE EVER HEARD, 777 00:42:41,291 --> 00:42:43,374 AND ON A POST-IT NOTE? 778 00:42:43,375 --> 00:42:44,208 RUDE. 779 00:42:44,209 --> 00:42:45,374 THE LESS WE KNOW, THE BETTER. 780 00:42:45,375 --> 00:42:47,499 HOW DO YOU FIGURE THAT? 781 00:42:47,500 --> 00:42:49,208 BECAUSE IT KEEPS IT CLEAN. 782 00:42:51,542 --> 00:42:53,791 IT'S A LOT EASIER NOT TO GIVE A SHIT 783 00:42:53,792 --> 00:42:55,352 WHEN YOU DON'T KNOW ANYTHING ABOUT THEM. 784 00:42:56,875 --> 00:42:58,457 OH. 785 00:42:58,458 --> 00:43:00,541 SO I WAS AS THE FLY UPON THE WALL. 786 00:43:00,542 --> 00:43:02,457 I OBSERVED. I DIDN'T INTERACT, 787 00:43:02,458 --> 00:43:03,541 AND IN MY OBSERVATIONS, 788 00:43:03,542 --> 00:43:05,833 I HEARD PLENTY OF B NAMES BEING BANDIED ABOUT 789 00:43:05,834 --> 00:43:07,165 IN OFFICE GOSSIP, 790 00:43:07,166 --> 00:43:08,708 BUT WERE ANY OF THEM B.M.s? 791 00:43:09,792 --> 00:43:13,583 THERE WAS BYRON, THE EMBEZZLING BANK MANAGER... 792 00:43:17,708 --> 00:43:19,291 BRENDA, THE OFFICE SLUT... 793 00:43:21,166 --> 00:43:23,083 UH-HUH. 794 00:43:24,250 --> 00:43:25,458 YEAH... 795 00:43:26,708 --> 00:43:27,791 YEAH. 796 00:43:27,792 --> 00:43:29,875 BRAD, THE PHILANDERING LOAN OFFICER... 797 00:43:30,959 --> 00:43:34,625 YEAH, UH, I GOT TO CALL YOU BACK, OKAY? 798 00:43:37,583 --> 00:43:40,500 AND BECKY, HIS ADORING WIFE... 799 00:43:45,792 --> 00:43:49,542 BUT THERE WAS ONE MORE B-NAME THEY WEREN'T GOSSIPING ABOUT. 800 00:43:51,458 --> 00:43:52,708 HELLO. 801 00:43:55,333 --> 00:43:56,500 CAN I HELP YOU? 802 00:44:00,250 --> 00:44:03,124 BRETT, THE HAPLESS BANK ROBBER. 803 00:44:03,125 --> 00:44:04,458 EVERYONE, LISTEN TO ME. 804 00:44:05,959 --> 00:44:08,416 THIS DEVICE IS DESIGNED 805 00:44:08,417 --> 00:44:10,834 TO DETECT THE ACTIVATION OF A SILENT ALARM. 806 00:44:13,125 --> 00:44:16,792 IF A SILENT ALARM IS DETECTED, I'LL START KILLING EVERYONE. 807 00:44:18,333 --> 00:44:19,707 I MEAN... 808 00:44:19,708 --> 00:44:20,916 I MEAN, PEOPLE. 809 00:44:20,917 --> 00:44:22,791 I'LL START KILLING PEOPLE. 810 00:44:22,792 --> 00:44:24,624 HE REHEARSED ALL MORNING. 811 00:44:24,625 --> 00:44:26,458 PUT DOWN YOUR WEAPON ON THE FLOOR. 812 00:44:27,166 --> 00:44:29,124 NOW! NOW! 813 00:44:29,125 --> 00:44:30,805 PUT YOUR GODDAMN WEAPON ON THE GROUND, NOW! 814 00:44:32,542 --> 00:44:34,000 STILL THINK IT'S THE BANANA PEEL? 815 00:44:35,625 --> 00:44:36,750 KICK IT OVER TO ME. 816 00:44:46,625 --> 00:44:48,208 EVERYBODY DOWN ON THE FLOOR, NOW! 817 00:44:49,667 --> 00:44:52,666 NOW, YOU. GET OUT HERE, NOW! HURRY. 818 00:44:52,667 --> 00:44:53,833 HOW OLD ARE YOU? 819 00:44:53,834 --> 00:44:55,417 GET OUT HERE, NOW! 820 00:44:57,542 --> 00:44:58,542 ALL RIGHT. 821 00:45:01,291 --> 00:45:02,499 MEANWHILE, 822 00:45:02,500 --> 00:45:04,249 THE PHILANDERER AND THE OFFICE SLUT 823 00:45:04,250 --> 00:45:06,374 WERE MAKING SWEET, SWEET LOVE... 824 00:45:06,375 --> 00:45:07,458 OH! 825 00:45:10,166 --> 00:45:12,624 [ BABY CRYING ] 826 00:45:12,625 --> 00:45:16,625 AS THEY HAD DONE SO MANY TIMES BEFORE. 827 00:45:21,708 --> 00:45:23,250 OKAY, GO STAND OVER THERE. 828 00:45:26,667 --> 00:45:29,000 BRADLEY? BRAD? 829 00:45:30,083 --> 00:45:31,707 BRAD? 830 00:45:31,708 --> 00:45:33,833 DOWN ON THE FLOOR. 831 00:45:33,834 --> 00:45:35,707 DON'T YOU POINT THAT GUN AT ME. 832 00:45:35,708 --> 00:45:36,875 I'M HOLDING A BABY HERE. 833 00:45:38,625 --> 00:45:39,999 SHUT UP! 834 00:45:40,000 --> 00:45:41,041 YOU SHUT UP. 835 00:45:43,917 --> 00:45:45,749 NO ONE TOLD YOU TO STOP WHAT YOU'RE DOING. 836 00:45:45,750 --> 00:45:48,666 THIS MAN IS WAITING FOR HIS MONEY. 837 00:45:48,667 --> 00:45:50,874 HOW MANY PEOPLE ARE SUPPOSED TO DIE AGAIN? 838 00:45:50,875 --> 00:45:51,958 JUST ONE... 839 00:45:51,959 --> 00:45:53,249 HURRY! I THINK. 840 00:45:53,250 --> 00:45:54,291 JUST COOL YOUR JETS. 841 00:45:55,291 --> 00:45:56,291 YOU. 842 00:45:56,292 --> 00:45:58,417 YOU KNOW BRAD? 843 00:45:58,917 --> 00:46:00,165 YES. 844 00:46:00,166 --> 00:46:01,166 I'M HIS WIFE. 845 00:46:02,875 --> 00:46:03,875 OH. 846 00:46:05,458 --> 00:46:06,624 OH... 847 00:46:06,625 --> 00:46:07,959 YEAH, "OH." 848 00:46:09,083 --> 00:46:10,375 IS MY BABY CHEATING ON ME? 849 00:46:10,917 --> 00:46:11,917 UH... 850 00:46:13,250 --> 00:46:15,040 JUST TELL ME THE TRUTH. IS HE? 851 00:46:15,041 --> 00:46:16,374 YES, MA'AM. YES. 852 00:46:16,375 --> 00:46:17,750 THE WHOLE BANK KNOWS ABOUT IT. 853 00:46:18,875 --> 00:46:20,542 OH, MOTHERFUCKER. 854 00:46:21,917 --> 00:46:23,208 OH, MY GOD. 855 00:46:25,458 --> 00:46:26,875 OH, MOTHERFUCKER. 856 00:46:33,417 --> 00:46:35,290 HOW LONG HAS HE BEEN CHEATING ON ME? 857 00:46:35,291 --> 00:46:38,624 UH, I DON'T KNOW. ABOUT TWO YEARS? 858 00:46:38,625 --> 00:46:40,582 YEAH, I'D SAY TWO... AT LEAST. 859 00:46:40,583 --> 00:46:42,124 DID YOU MAKE LOVE TO MY HUSBAND? 860 00:46:42,125 --> 00:46:43,417 NO. NO. 861 00:46:45,458 --> 00:46:46,458 NO. GOD, NO. 862 00:46:48,000 --> 00:46:49,082 BRAD? 863 00:46:49,083 --> 00:46:50,166 BRAD, BABY, 864 00:46:51,210 --> 00:46:52,250 I'M NOT GOING TO HURT YOU. 865 00:46:52,251 --> 00:46:54,958 I JUST WANT TO ASK YOU SOMETHING, OKAY? 866 00:46:54,959 --> 00:46:56,290 I MEAN, I KNOW YOU'RE HERE, 867 00:46:56,291 --> 00:46:59,625 BECAUSE YOU LEFT YOUR JACKET ON THE BACK OF YOUR CHAIR. 868 00:47:01,417 --> 00:47:03,624 IS HE HIDING BACK THERE FROM ME? 869 00:47:03,625 --> 00:47:05,624 I HAVEN'T SEEN HIM SINCE HE GOT BACK FROM BREAK. 870 00:47:05,625 --> 00:47:07,250 BRAD? 871 00:47:07,750 --> 00:47:09,874 ARE YOU BACK THERE? 872 00:47:09,875 --> 00:47:13,291 YOU GET OUT HERE RIGHT NOW, AND I MEAN IT. 873 00:47:19,708 --> 00:47:22,667 YOU'D BETTER UNLOCK THIS DOOR. 874 00:48:19,917 --> 00:48:21,499 NOBODY DIED. 875 00:48:21,500 --> 00:48:23,583 IS THAT, LIKE, KOSHER? 876 00:48:24,291 --> 00:48:25,291 IT'S NOT 2:36 YET. 877 00:48:37,166 --> 00:48:38,207 BANK'S CLOSED. 878 00:48:38,208 --> 00:48:40,416 NO, A.T.M.'S BUSTED, HOSS. I GOT TO CASH MY CHECK. 879 00:48:40,417 --> 00:48:42,208 SORRY, BANK'S CLOSED. 880 00:48:44,625 --> 00:48:45,625 COME ON, MAN. 881 00:49:07,625 --> 00:49:08,625 YOU WERE RIGHT. 882 00:49:08,626 --> 00:49:10,875 IT WAS THE BANANA PEEL. 883 00:49:14,625 --> 00:49:16,041 DUDE, THAT IS FUCKED UP. 884 00:49:19,708 --> 00:49:20,959 WAIT A SECOND. 885 00:49:21,750 --> 00:49:23,124 IS THAT ME? 886 00:49:23,125 --> 00:49:25,166 YEAH. SORRY, MAN. YOU'RE DEAD. 887 00:49:30,333 --> 00:49:31,417 NO WAY! 888 00:49:34,500 --> 00:49:35,792 I JUST GOT PAID. 889 00:49:37,291 --> 00:49:38,875 AW, MAN, THIS SUCKS! 890 00:49:39,667 --> 00:49:41,542 DO YOU LIVE ALONE? 891 00:49:45,375 --> 00:49:47,457 IT HAD A POORLY VENTILATED, THIRD-WORLD YOUTH HOSTEL 892 00:49:47,458 --> 00:49:49,040 KIND OF CHARM. 893 00:49:49,041 --> 00:49:51,124 AT LEAST THERE WEREN'T ANY BODIES, 894 00:49:51,125 --> 00:49:54,124 AND OF ALL THE VARIOUS AND SUNDRY STAINS, 895 00:49:54,125 --> 00:49:55,917 NONE OF THEM WERE BLOOD OR GORE. 896 00:49:56,792 --> 00:49:58,232 I WAS THANKFUL FOR THE LITTLE THINGS. 897 00:50:00,458 --> 00:50:01,916 IT WAS OFFICIAL. 898 00:50:01,917 --> 00:50:04,040 I WAS ON MY OWN. 899 00:50:04,041 --> 00:50:06,165 I WAS DEAD, NAY, UNDEAD, 900 00:50:06,166 --> 00:50:07,666 AND NOT ONLY DID I HAVE TO FIND A JOB, 901 00:50:07,667 --> 00:50:10,791 I HAD TO DO LAUNDRY. 902 00:50:10,792 --> 00:50:12,999 THIS WAS MY SO-CALLED AFTERLIFE. 903 00:50:13,000 --> 00:50:16,457 HYPNOTIZED BY THE SOAPY SWIRL OF ALL-TEMPERATURE CHEER, 904 00:50:16,458 --> 00:50:17,958 IT OCCURRED TO ME... 905 00:50:17,959 --> 00:50:20,279 IF I WERE ALIVE AND WELL, MY MOM WOULD BE WASHING MY SHEETS. 906 00:50:20,303 --> 00:50:22,791 THEY WOULD MAGICALLY APPEAR ON MY BED, 907 00:50:22,792 --> 00:50:25,249 CRISP, CLEAN, AND TUCKED INTO THE MATTRESS. 908 00:50:25,250 --> 00:50:26,583 THOSE DAYS WERE OVER. 909 00:50:27,333 --> 00:50:28,666 IT WAS ALL OVER. 910 00:50:28,667 --> 00:50:31,416 THAT DIDN'T MAKE IT ANY EASIER TO MOVE ON, 911 00:50:31,417 --> 00:50:33,917 EVEN THOUGH LIFE HAD MOVED ON WITHOUT ME. 912 00:50:52,792 --> 00:50:55,040 I FELT LIKE A PERVERT PEEPING FROM THE SHADOWS. 913 00:50:55,041 --> 00:50:59,458 I COULD SEE HER, BUT SHE COULDN'T SEE ME. 914 00:51:06,959 --> 00:51:09,166 GODDAMN. SHE'S SELLING MY SHIT. 915 00:51:13,625 --> 00:51:15,041 CAN I HELP YOU? 916 00:51:17,166 --> 00:51:18,166 HOW MUCH? 917 00:51:19,041 --> 00:51:20,582 THAT SHOULDN'T BE OUT HERE. 918 00:51:20,583 --> 00:51:22,040 IT'S GOT A STICKER ON IT. 919 00:51:22,041 --> 00:51:23,833 75... 920 00:51:23,834 --> 00:51:26,541 YOU WERE GOING TO SELL FRANKEN FRUITY FOR 75 CENTS? 921 00:51:26,542 --> 00:51:29,916 WHO SAYS YOU CAN'T PUT A PRICE ON CHILDHOOD MEMORIES? 922 00:51:29,917 --> 00:51:31,317 THAT'S A MISTAKE. IT'S NOT FOR SALE. 923 00:51:31,708 --> 00:51:33,000 WHY NOT? 924 00:51:33,583 --> 00:51:35,249 BECAUSE I CHANGED MY MIND. 925 00:51:35,250 --> 00:51:38,707 I'LL GIVE YOU FIVE BUCKS FOR IT. 926 00:51:38,708 --> 00:51:40,916 I TOLD YOU, IT'S NOT FOR SALE. 927 00:51:40,917 --> 00:51:42,250 IT'S JUST A STUPID TOY. 928 00:51:43,542 --> 00:51:44,749 IT WAS MY DAUGHTER'S. 929 00:51:44,750 --> 00:51:45,583 SHE'S DEAD. 930 00:51:45,584 --> 00:51:48,165 NOW GIVE ME THE FUCKING DOLL. 931 00:51:48,166 --> 00:51:50,165 I NEVER HEARD MY MOM SAY THE F-WORD BEFORE. 932 00:51:50,166 --> 00:51:53,000 MY EARS WERE ACTUALLY RINGING. 933 00:51:55,250 --> 00:51:56,417 WHERE DID SHE GET IT? 934 00:51:57,417 --> 00:51:59,249 WHAT? FRANKEN FRUITY. 935 00:51:59,250 --> 00:52:00,850 I'VE BEEN LOOKING FOR ONE FOR A LONG TIME. 936 00:52:00,874 --> 00:52:02,082 WHERE DID SHE GET IT? 937 00:52:03,083 --> 00:52:04,749 SHE GOT IT AT A YARD SALE 938 00:52:04,750 --> 00:52:05,790 WHEN SHE WAS A LITTLE GIRL. 939 00:52:07,125 --> 00:52:08,875 I DOUBT THEY MAKE THEM ANYMORE. TRY EBAY. 940 00:52:10,083 --> 00:52:11,123 HOW DID YOUR DAUGHTER DIE? 941 00:52:14,166 --> 00:52:16,542 I DON'T THINK I WANT TO HAVE THIS CONVERSATION WITH YOU. 942 00:52:17,625 --> 00:52:20,125 WELL, WHAT WAS SHE LIKE? 943 00:52:22,792 --> 00:52:25,125 WHY DO YOU CARE? 944 00:52:27,166 --> 00:52:29,165 I JUST THINK IT'S COOL SHE HAD THE DOLL, IS ALL. 945 00:52:29,166 --> 00:52:31,333 I MEAN. FRANKEN FRUITY IS THE SHIT. 946 00:52:35,458 --> 00:52:38,291 SHE DROVE ME CRAZY, IF YOU WANT TO KNOW THE TRUTH. 947 00:52:38,750 --> 00:52:39,875 WHAT? 948 00:52:41,000 --> 00:52:42,000 SHE WAS STUBBORN. 949 00:52:43,917 --> 00:52:45,792 BUT I THINK THAT'S ONLY BECAUSE SHE WAS SMART. 950 00:52:47,375 --> 00:52:48,875 PROBABLY TOO SMART. 951 00:52:50,500 --> 00:52:53,375 SHE FIGURED A LOT OF THINGS OUT WAY BEFORE HER FRIENDS, 952 00:52:54,208 --> 00:52:55,375 THAT'S FOR SURE. 953 00:52:59,333 --> 00:53:01,000 WE NEVER REALLY GOT ALONG. 954 00:53:02,375 --> 00:53:04,458 I DON'T THINK I WAS A VERY GOOD MOTHER. 955 00:53:12,625 --> 00:53:14,705 IF YOU WANT THE GODDAMN DOLL SO BAD, YOU CAN HAVE IT, 956 00:53:14,729 --> 00:53:16,207 BUT ONLY UNTIL YOU FIND YOUR OWN, 957 00:53:16,208 --> 00:53:17,688 AND THEN I WANT THIS BACK, UNDERSTOOD? 958 00:53:20,000 --> 00:53:21,000 $5.00. 959 00:53:21,001 --> 00:53:22,791 IT SAYS 75 CENTS. 960 00:53:22,792 --> 00:53:24,332 YOU OFFERED ME $5.00. 961 00:53:24,333 --> 00:53:26,750 YOU'LL GET IT BACK WHEN I GET MY DOLL BACK. 962 00:53:41,166 --> 00:53:42,583 YOU NEED TO LEAVE NOW. 963 00:53:43,166 --> 00:53:45,333 YOU'RE MAKING ME TIRED. 964 00:53:49,792 --> 00:53:51,083 BYE. 965 00:54:00,375 --> 00:54:02,958 IT WAS THE LONGEST CONVERSATION I HAD WITH MY MOTHER 966 00:54:02,959 --> 00:54:05,125 SINCE I STARTED HAVING MY PERIOD... 967 00:54:11,917 --> 00:54:13,417 AND SHE DIDN'T EVEN KNOW IT WAS ME. 968 00:54:31,708 --> 00:54:33,708 GET UP. 969 00:54:35,000 --> 00:54:36,249 COME ON. 970 00:54:36,250 --> 00:54:38,582 MOM? NO, I'M NOT YOUR MOTHER. 971 00:54:38,583 --> 00:54:39,833 FUCK. 972 00:54:39,834 --> 00:54:40,542 WHAT? 973 00:54:40,543 --> 00:54:43,625 I WAS HOPING IT WAS ALL A DREAM. 974 00:54:44,834 --> 00:54:47,125 GET DRESSED. 975 00:54:56,792 --> 00:54:58,208 ORDER UP. 976 00:55:02,500 --> 00:55:04,874 YOU GET YOURSELF A PLACE TO STAY? 977 00:55:04,875 --> 00:55:06,749 YEAH. I FOUND A NEW PLACE TOO. 978 00:55:06,750 --> 00:55:07,291 OH, YEAH? 979 00:55:07,291 --> 00:55:08,250 VERY NICELY EQUIPPED. 980 00:55:08,251 --> 00:55:11,249 ALL THE AMENITIES, A JACUZZI TUB, 981 00:55:11,250 --> 00:55:12,083 WALK-IN CLOSET WITH SHOES FOR DAYS, 982 00:55:12,084 --> 00:55:14,290 AND THIS CRAZY KING-SIZE BED. 983 00:55:14,291 --> 00:55:16,416 IT'S ALL ABOUT THE MATTRESS. 984 00:55:16,417 --> 00:55:17,916 SIMMONS TERRACE HILL. 985 00:55:17,917 --> 00:55:19,124 MEDIUM-FIRM. 986 00:55:19,125 --> 00:55:20,125 YOU BITCH. 987 00:55:20,126 --> 00:55:21,290 BABIES DON'T SLEEP THAT GOOD. 988 00:55:21,291 --> 00:55:22,291 THEY CAN'T AFFORD TO. 989 00:55:23,917 --> 00:55:26,250 SO DID THE WAITRESS COME BACK? 990 00:55:26,875 --> 00:55:28,458 DAMN, I AM THIRSTY. 991 00:55:29,583 --> 00:55:31,125 YOU DON'T MIND, DO YOU? THANK YOU. 992 00:55:32,166 --> 00:55:34,290 BANANA BONANZAS ALL AROUND. 993 00:55:34,291 --> 00:55:36,290 ACTUALLY, I WAS GOING TO HAVE... 994 00:55:36,291 --> 00:55:38,667 THE MAN SAID BANANA BONANZAS, ALL AROUND. 995 00:55:42,000 --> 00:55:45,082 BANANA BONANZA, AND, UM, CAN I HAVE MORE JUICE, PLEASE? 996 00:55:45,083 --> 00:55:47,457 AND SOME WATER. 997 00:55:47,458 --> 00:55:48,458 [ SNEEZES ] 998 00:55:49,834 --> 00:55:50,916 BLESS YOU. 999 00:55:50,917 --> 00:55:52,959 EXCUSE ME. 1000 00:55:55,583 --> 00:55:58,166 DO YOUR NIPPLES GET HARD WHEN YOU SNEEZE? 1001 00:55:58,834 --> 00:56:01,290 UH, I DON'T... 1002 00:56:01,291 --> 00:56:02,582 I DON'T KNOW. 1003 00:56:02,583 --> 00:56:03,749 MINE DO. 1004 00:56:03,750 --> 00:56:05,332 I COULD PUT AN EYE OUT. YOURS? 1005 00:56:05,333 --> 00:56:07,332 LIKE LITTLE DIAMONDS. 1006 00:56:07,333 --> 00:56:08,853 MINE ARE ALWAYS HARD. I'M NOT SURE WHY. 1007 00:56:11,083 --> 00:56:12,083 I ALREADY DID THIS GUY. 1008 00:56:14,041 --> 00:56:16,542 THAT WAS SENIOR. THIS IS JUNIOR. 1009 00:56:17,125 --> 00:56:19,207 OH, THAT'S SAD. 1010 00:56:19,208 --> 00:56:21,208 THEY SHOULD HAVE DIED TOGETHER. SAVED YOU A JOURNEY. 1011 00:56:21,232 --> 00:56:22,441 REALLY, THOUGH. 1012 00:56:23,208 --> 00:56:24,916 SO, PEANUT... 1013 00:56:24,917 --> 00:56:26,277 YOU FEEL UP TO TAKING A SOUL TODAY? 1014 00:56:30,041 --> 00:56:31,041 NOT REALLY. 1015 00:56:34,542 --> 00:56:35,875 THAT'S TOO BAD. 1016 00:56:45,708 --> 00:56:47,000 TIME TO BUST THAT CHERRY. 1017 00:56:51,083 --> 00:56:53,040 2-B OR NOT 2-B? 1018 00:56:53,041 --> 00:56:54,625 THAT'S THE QUESTION... 1019 00:56:56,000 --> 00:56:59,582 AND FOR ONE UNLUCKY PASSENGER ON COASTAL LINK EXPRESS, 1020 00:56:59,583 --> 00:57:01,708 IT TURNS OUT I HAVE THE ANSWER. 1021 00:57:02,750 --> 00:57:03,999 HOW DO I KNOW WHICH ONE? 1022 00:57:04,000 --> 00:57:05,791 CAR SIX, SEAT FOUR. TRAVELING ALONE. 1023 00:57:05,792 --> 00:57:08,249 ONCE THEY TAKE THEIR SEAT, MAKE SURE THEY STAY THERE. 1024 00:57:08,250 --> 00:57:09,707 [ P.A. ]: LAST CALL, TRACK TWO. 1025 00:57:09,708 --> 00:57:11,916 COASTAL LINK EXPRESS MAKING ITS FINAL STOP 1026 00:57:11,917 --> 00:57:13,959 AT PORTLAND'S SIXTH AVENUE STATION. 1027 00:57:14,417 --> 00:57:16,416 E.T.D. IS 7:27. 1028 00:57:16,417 --> 00:57:17,617 IT'S GOING TO BE A VIOLENT ONE, 1029 00:57:17,641 --> 00:57:19,416 SO POP THE SOUL OUT BEFORE THINGS GET MESSY. 1030 00:57:19,417 --> 00:57:20,582 HOW VIOLENT? 1031 00:57:20,583 --> 00:57:21,916 WEAR YOUR SEAT BELT. 1032 00:57:21,917 --> 00:57:23,208 DO TRAINS HAVE SEAT BELTS? 1033 00:57:24,250 --> 00:57:26,582 YOU KNOW, I DON'T THINK THEY DO. 1034 00:57:26,583 --> 00:57:28,125 I'M GOING TO VOMIT. 1035 00:57:29,917 --> 00:57:31,582 WELL, 1036 00:57:31,583 --> 00:57:33,416 THE FIRST ONE'S NEVER EASY. 1037 00:57:33,417 --> 00:57:35,082 I REMEMBER MINE, DAMN FOOL. 1038 00:57:35,083 --> 00:57:37,916 BLUR IT IS. ALMOST VAPORIZED. 1039 00:57:37,917 --> 00:57:40,207 TOOK ME A HALF-HOUR TO FIND A PIECE BIG ENOUGH 1040 00:57:40,208 --> 00:57:42,457 TO PULL THE SOUL OUT OF. 1041 00:57:42,458 --> 00:57:43,749 WHAT IF SOMETHING GOES WRONG? 1042 00:57:43,750 --> 00:57:45,590 WELL, LOOK AT IT THIS WAY, YOU'RE ALREADY DEAD. 1043 00:57:46,959 --> 00:57:48,290 THAT'S SO NOT FUNNY. 1044 00:57:48,291 --> 00:57:49,125 YOU'LL BE FINE. 1045 00:57:49,126 --> 00:57:51,499 JUST DO EVERYTHING LIKE I SHOWED YOU, 1046 00:57:51,500 --> 00:57:52,041 AND I'LL SEE YOU AT THE NEXT STOP, 1047 00:57:52,042 --> 00:57:53,999 RIGHT UP HERE. 1048 00:57:54,000 --> 00:57:55,291 ALL ABOARD! 1049 00:58:01,834 --> 00:58:03,749 I WAS ON AUTOPILOT. 1050 00:58:03,750 --> 00:58:05,499 EVERY TIME MY BODY TOOK A STEP, 1051 00:58:05,500 --> 00:58:08,125 MY MIND SCREAMED FOR IT TO STOP AND RUN THE OTHER WAY, 1052 00:58:09,208 --> 00:58:10,208 BUT I KEPT WALKING. 1053 00:58:11,708 --> 00:58:13,999 I WONDERED WHICH ONE IT WAS GOING TO BE, 1054 00:58:14,000 --> 00:58:17,290 AND HOW THEY WERE PLANNING TO GET HOME FROM THE TRAIN STATION. 1055 00:58:17,291 --> 00:58:18,541 WERE THEY GOING TO TAKE A TAXI, 1056 00:58:18,542 --> 00:58:21,458 OR WAS A LOVED ONE SUPPOSED TO PICK THEM UP? 1057 00:58:26,417 --> 00:58:27,666 IF I HAD ONE WISH, 1058 00:58:27,667 --> 00:58:31,249 IT WOULD BE THAT THE PERSON SITTING IN CAR SIX, SEAT FOUR 1059 00:58:31,250 --> 00:58:32,624 WOULD BE DETAINED BY SECURITY 1060 00:58:32,625 --> 00:58:35,666 FOR POSSESSION OF NARCOTIC SUBSTANCES. 1061 00:58:35,667 --> 00:58:38,542 ANYTHING THAT MIGHT KEEP THEM FROM GETTING ON THE TRAIN. 1062 00:58:39,959 --> 00:58:41,208 NO SUCH LUCK. 1063 00:58:41,834 --> 00:58:43,541 WE HAVE A WINNER. 1064 00:58:43,542 --> 00:58:44,500 I IMMEDIATELY BEGAN TO FANTASIZE 1065 00:58:44,501 --> 00:58:47,499 ABOUT WHAT A BITCH SHE WAS. 1066 00:58:47,500 --> 00:58:49,260 HOW EVERYBODY HATED HER, THAT SHE WAS BARREN, 1067 00:58:49,284 --> 00:58:51,582 AND HAD NO CHILDREN TO LOVE HER. 1068 00:58:51,583 --> 00:58:53,375 THEN THIS HAPPENED. 1069 00:58:57,125 --> 00:58:58,417 HER NAME'S KIRSTI. 1070 00:59:07,041 --> 00:59:08,583 ALL ABOARD! 1071 00:59:11,125 --> 00:59:13,040 SHE'S IN KINDERGARTEN. 1072 00:59:13,041 --> 00:59:15,666 SHE LOVES DRAWING AND PLAYING WITH LEGOS. 1073 00:59:15,667 --> 00:59:18,333 HER FAVORITE FOOD IS FRENCH FRIES AND APPLE SAUCE, 1074 00:59:18,875 --> 00:59:20,250 AND SHE HAS TO DIE. 1075 00:59:26,708 --> 00:59:28,125 [ WHISTLING ] 1076 00:59:38,625 --> 00:59:39,985 THIS IS WHY HAVING A DESTINY SUCKS. 1077 00:59:41,625 --> 00:59:43,082 I STARED AT THE BACK OF HER SEAT 1078 00:59:43,083 --> 00:59:44,582 FOR WHAT SEEMED LIKE HOURS, 1079 00:59:44,583 --> 00:59:46,791 THINKING ABOUT ALL THE THINGS I'D RATHER BE DOING, 1080 00:59:46,792 --> 00:59:50,707 LIKE HAVING A ROOT CANAL, OR A PAP SMEAR, 1081 00:59:50,708 --> 00:59:51,750 OR GOING TO CHURCH. 1082 00:59:58,375 --> 00:59:59,792 SURE BEATS FLYING, DON'T IT? 1083 01:00:01,333 --> 01:00:04,082 WHAT? OH, YEAH, I GUESS. 1084 01:00:04,083 --> 01:00:05,443 YOU KNOW, ALL THE TEQUILA IN MEXICO 1085 01:00:05,467 --> 01:00:08,249 COULDN'T GET ME ON A PLANE. 1086 01:00:08,250 --> 01:00:10,330 NOW, THERE WAS THIS TIME WHEN I WAS ABOUT YOUR AGE... 1087 01:00:10,354 --> 01:00:11,582 I CAN'T TALK TO YOU RIGHT NOW. 1088 01:00:11,583 --> 01:00:13,208 I'M... PRAYING. 1089 01:00:15,041 --> 01:00:16,291 OH. 1090 01:00:40,000 --> 01:00:43,833 IF ONLY I COULD CLOSE MY EYES AND WISH ALL THIS AWAY, 1091 01:00:43,834 --> 01:00:47,458 WISH IT INTO THE CORNFIELD, OR WHATEVER. 1092 01:00:52,125 --> 01:00:54,374 I'D OPEN MY EYES, AND I'D START OVER. 1093 01:00:54,375 --> 01:00:56,999 I'D DO EVERYTHING RIGHT. 1094 01:00:57,000 --> 01:00:57,959 I WOULDN'T DROP OUT OF COLLEGE, 1095 01:00:57,960 --> 01:01:00,457 I WOULDN'T WORK AT SOME CRAP TEMP JOB, 1096 01:01:00,458 --> 01:01:02,125 AND I WOULDN'T DIE. 1097 01:01:55,041 --> 01:01:57,207 HI. 1098 01:01:57,208 --> 01:01:59,374 DO YOU WORK FOR THE RAILROAD? 1099 01:01:59,375 --> 01:02:00,083 NO. 1100 01:02:00,084 --> 01:02:02,040 I'M NOT SUPPOSED TO TALK TO YOU 1101 01:02:02,041 --> 01:02:04,165 UNLESS YOU WORK FOR THE RAILROAD. 1102 01:02:04,166 --> 01:02:06,458 OKAY. I WORK FOR THE RAILROAD. 1103 01:02:07,542 --> 01:02:09,125 WHERE'S YOUR UNIFORM? 1104 01:02:09,708 --> 01:02:12,542 IT'S AT THE CLEANERS, OKAY? 1105 01:02:14,708 --> 01:02:15,708 WHAT'S YOUR NAME? 1106 01:02:16,208 --> 01:02:17,874 KIRSTI. 1107 01:02:17,875 --> 01:02:20,290 I DIDN'T KNOW WHAT TO SAY AFTER THAT. 1108 01:02:20,291 --> 01:02:22,291 I MEAN, IT'S NOT LIKE THEY COVER THIS SORT OF THING 1109 01:02:22,315 --> 01:02:23,731 ON SESAME STREET, 1110 01:02:24,041 --> 01:02:24,667 SO I ASKED... 1111 01:02:24,668 --> 01:02:25,834 YOU EVER BEEN TO SEA WORLD? 1112 01:02:27,500 --> 01:02:28,500 MAGIC MOUNTAIN? 1113 01:02:29,583 --> 01:02:30,583 DISNEYLAND? 1114 01:02:31,417 --> 01:02:32,417 I LIKE DONALD DUCK. 1115 01:02:33,500 --> 01:02:34,500 YEAH, ME TOO. 1116 01:02:36,583 --> 01:02:39,499 YOU KNOW HOW WHEN YOU SPEND ALL DAY AT THE PARK 1117 01:02:39,500 --> 01:02:41,875 RIDING ALL THE RIDES, AND YOU DON'T WANT TO STOP? 1118 01:02:45,875 --> 01:02:48,791 AND THEN YOUR PARENTS SAY IT'S TIME TO GO HOME, 1119 01:02:48,792 --> 01:02:49,999 ONLY YOU'RE NOT READY YET. 1120 01:02:50,000 --> 01:02:52,916 YOU JUST WANT TO GO ON ONE MORE RIDE, BUT YOU CAN'T, 1121 01:02:52,917 --> 01:02:53,625 AND IT'S NOT FAIR, 1122 01:02:53,626 --> 01:02:56,250 AND YOU'RE PISSED OFF, AND... 1123 01:02:57,291 --> 01:02:59,125 IS ANY OF THIS MAKING SENSE? 1124 01:03:15,041 --> 01:03:16,792 WHY DON'T YOU COME SIT WITH ME? 1125 01:03:18,458 --> 01:03:20,749 MISS... EVERYTHING ALL RIGHT? 1126 01:03:20,750 --> 01:03:22,165 YEAH, WE'RE JUST CHANGING SEATS. 1127 01:03:22,166 --> 01:03:23,332 YOU KNOW THIS LITTLE GIRL? 1128 01:03:23,333 --> 01:03:24,458 I DON'T KNOW HER. 1129 01:03:25,625 --> 01:03:27,833 MAYBE YOU BOTH SHOULD GO BACK TO YOUR ASSIGNED SEATS. 1130 01:03:27,834 --> 01:03:29,458 NO, SHE SHOULD COME SIT WITH ME. 1131 01:03:43,917 --> 01:03:46,083 SIT DOWN AND HOLD ONTO SOMETHING. 1132 01:03:47,458 --> 01:03:48,959 MISTER BLINKY! 1133 01:04:30,375 --> 01:04:31,792 EVERYONE OKAY? 1134 01:04:33,000 --> 01:04:34,959 THERE WERE 10 PASSENGERS IN THIS CAR. 1135 01:04:38,250 --> 01:04:39,458 I'LL COUNT YOU ALL OFF. 1136 01:04:41,166 --> 01:04:43,792 ONE, TWO, 1137 01:04:44,375 --> 01:04:45,667 THREE, 1138 01:04:46,625 --> 01:04:47,625 FOUR... 1139 01:04:47,626 --> 01:04:49,582 SWEET KIRSTI, 1140 01:04:49,583 --> 01:04:51,743 WITH HER BABY-DOLL DRESS AND PATENT LEATHER MARY-JANES, 1141 01:04:51,767 --> 01:04:54,726 WAS ALIVE AND WELL. 1142 01:04:55,208 --> 01:04:56,416 I SECRETLY HOPED 1143 01:04:56,417 --> 01:04:58,874 THAT THIS SORT OF THING WAS GROUNDS FOR TERMINATION. 1144 01:04:58,875 --> 01:04:59,916 10. 1145 01:04:59,917 --> 01:05:02,333 AND THAT WAS ONE MORE THAN THERE SHOULD BE. 1146 01:05:03,291 --> 01:05:04,500 WE'RE ALL HERE. 1147 01:05:15,875 --> 01:05:17,165 FORTUNATELY, 1148 01:05:17,166 --> 01:05:19,126 THE TRAUMA OF OUR COLLECTIVE NEAR-DEATH EXPERIENCE 1149 01:05:19,150 --> 01:05:22,316 KEPT CONVERSATION TO A MINIMUM. 1150 01:05:32,208 --> 01:05:34,208 WE'RE PROBABLY NOT TOO FAR FROM HIGHWAY 20. 1151 01:05:35,500 --> 01:05:37,791 I'M SURE RESCUE TEAMS ARE ON THEIR WAY. 1152 01:05:37,792 --> 01:05:40,332 I SUGGEST WE USE THIS TIME TO KEEP WARM 1153 01:05:40,333 --> 01:05:41,624 AND COUNT OUR BLESSINGS. 1154 01:05:41,625 --> 01:05:42,791 MISS? 1155 01:05:42,792 --> 01:05:44,083 WE SHOULD STICK TOGETHER. 1156 01:05:45,417 --> 01:05:46,500 I HAVE TO PEE. 1157 01:05:48,125 --> 01:05:49,375 STAY CLOSE. 1158 01:06:00,417 --> 01:06:02,708 [ HUMMING ] 1159 01:06:04,750 --> 01:06:05,958 RUBE, WHERE ARE YOU? 1160 01:06:05,959 --> 01:06:07,999 KEEP IT DOWN. 1161 01:06:08,000 --> 01:06:10,080 YOU COULD HAVE TOLD ME IT WAS A LITTLE GIRL, YOU DICK. 1162 01:06:10,104 --> 01:06:12,541 WELL, WHAT DIFFERENCE DOES IT MAKE? 1163 01:06:12,542 --> 01:06:14,542 IT MAKES ALL THE DIFFERENCE. WHY HER? 1164 01:06:16,375 --> 01:06:17,500 WHY DO YOU THINK? 1165 01:06:18,959 --> 01:06:21,165 SHE SHOWED UP FOR HER APPOINTMENT. 1166 01:06:21,166 --> 01:06:22,874 WELL, THEN YOU SHOULD HAVE RESCHEDULED. 1167 01:06:22,875 --> 01:06:24,417 WELL, THAT'S NOT HOW IT WORKS. 1168 01:06:25,792 --> 01:06:27,250 YOU JUST CAN'T CHANGE FATE. 1169 01:06:29,125 --> 01:06:30,125 I DID. 1170 01:06:32,458 --> 01:06:34,041 WHAT DID YOU DO? 1171 01:06:35,417 --> 01:06:36,625 WHAT DID YOU DO? 1172 01:06:38,625 --> 01:06:40,041 SHE'S NOT DEAD. 1173 01:06:40,667 --> 01:06:41,667 I DIDN'T REMOVE HER SOUL. 1174 01:06:45,250 --> 01:06:47,330 YOU MIND TELLING ME WHAT IT IS YOU THINK YOU'RE DOING? 1175 01:06:47,834 --> 01:06:49,959 I'M LETTING HER LIVE. 1176 01:06:50,667 --> 01:06:52,291 THERE'S A CARDINAL RULE. 1177 01:06:53,917 --> 01:06:54,917 EVERYBODY DIES. 1178 01:06:56,792 --> 01:06:58,152 NOW YOU BETTER MARCH ON OVER THERE, 1179 01:06:58,153 --> 01:06:59,473 AND YOU TAKE HER SOUL RIGHT QUICK. 1180 01:06:59,497 --> 01:07:01,707 IF YOU WANT HER TO DIE SO BAD, YOU DO IT. 1181 01:07:01,708 --> 01:07:03,207 I CAN'T. NO ONE CAN, EXCEPT YOU. 1182 01:07:03,208 --> 01:07:05,124 DEATH IS NON-TRANSFERABLE. 1183 01:07:05,125 --> 01:07:06,749 SHE'S YOUR MARK. 1184 01:07:06,750 --> 01:07:08,833 ONLY YOU CAN DO THE DEED. 1185 01:07:08,834 --> 01:07:10,666 THEN BARRING ANY UNFORESEEN ACCIDENTS, 1186 01:07:10,667 --> 01:07:12,916 I'D SAY SHE HAS ANOTHER 80 YEARS. 1187 01:07:12,917 --> 01:07:15,277 YEAH, WELL, YOU BELIEVE ME, THAT'S 80 YEARS SHE DOESN'T WANT. 1188 01:07:17,708 --> 01:07:19,291 WHAT IS THAT SUPPOSED TO MEAN? 1189 01:07:20,375 --> 01:07:22,582 HER FATE WAS SEALED STEPPING ONTO THAT TRAIN. 1190 01:07:22,583 --> 01:07:24,165 HER SOUL EXPIRED. 1191 01:07:24,166 --> 01:07:25,559 KNOW WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOU KEEP A SOUL AROUND AFTER IT'S TIME? 1192 01:07:25,583 --> 01:07:27,666 NO. 1193 01:07:27,667 --> 01:07:28,907 SAME THING THAT HAPPENS TO MILK. 1194 01:07:28,931 --> 01:07:29,958 IT SPOILS, GOES BAD. 1195 01:07:29,959 --> 01:07:32,165 SOULS GO BAD IN ALL KINDS OF WAYS. 1196 01:07:32,166 --> 01:07:33,749 BUT... IF YOU'RE HAVING TROUBLE 1197 01:07:33,750 --> 01:07:35,510 COMPREHENDING THE SEVERITY OF THIS SITUATION, 1198 01:07:35,534 --> 01:07:37,791 WHY DON'T YOU CONSULT WEBSTER'S 1199 01:07:37,792 --> 01:07:39,375 ON THE DEFINITION OF "BAD"? 1200 01:07:41,208 --> 01:07:42,750 IF YOU DON'T TAKE HER SOUL, 1201 01:07:43,542 --> 01:07:45,249 IT'S GOING TO WITHER, AND DIE, 1202 01:07:45,250 --> 01:07:46,875 AND ROT INSIDE HER. 1203 01:07:48,291 --> 01:07:49,583 I'VE SEEN IT HAPPEN. 1204 01:07:52,458 --> 01:07:54,166 DO YOU WISH TO CONDEMN HER TO THAT? 1205 01:07:54,875 --> 01:07:57,291 SHE'S JUST A LITTLE GIRL. 1206 01:07:57,959 --> 01:08:00,750 SHE CAN'T DIE. IT'S CRUEL. 1207 01:08:01,333 --> 01:08:02,417 IT IS CRUEL. 1208 01:08:03,875 --> 01:08:05,995 IT'S CRUEL SHE'LL NEVER KNOW WHAT LIFE IS REALLY LIKE. 1209 01:08:06,019 --> 01:08:07,916 IT'S CRUEL SHE'LL MISS OUT 1210 01:08:07,917 --> 01:08:09,397 ON SO MUCH LOVE, AND PAIN, AND BEAUTY, 1211 01:08:11,250 --> 01:08:12,850 AND THAT'S SAD FOR EVERYONE IN THE WORLD, 1212 01:08:12,874 --> 01:08:13,916 EXCEPT FOR HER. 1213 01:08:13,917 --> 01:08:14,999 SHE WON'T GIVE A RAT'S ASS. 1214 01:08:15,000 --> 01:08:16,400 SHE'LL BE DOING SOMETHING DIFFERENT, 1215 01:08:17,166 --> 01:08:18,834 AND THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT IS. 1216 01:08:20,041 --> 01:08:21,041 BUT I... 1217 01:08:22,750 --> 01:08:25,208 I JUST WANTED TO SAVE HER. 1218 01:08:28,291 --> 01:08:29,291 YOU CAN'T. 1219 01:08:33,417 --> 01:08:34,750 YOU CAN'T SAVE ANY OF THEM. 1220 01:08:36,291 --> 01:08:38,625 ALL YOU CAN EVER HOPE TO DO IS MAKE IT EASIER, 1221 01:08:40,250 --> 01:08:41,791 AND THAT MAY NOT SEEM LIKE A LOT, 1222 01:08:41,792 --> 01:08:43,125 BUT IT IS. 1223 01:08:58,625 --> 01:08:59,917 GO ON. 1224 01:09:27,875 --> 01:09:30,250 I DON'T KNOW IF THIS IS WHAT I'M SUPPOSED TO SAY. 1225 01:09:31,500 --> 01:09:33,500 I... 1226 01:09:34,750 --> 01:09:35,750 I MEAN, YOU... 1227 01:09:41,291 --> 01:09:44,208 DO ME A FAVOR, JUST CLOSE YOUR EYES. 1228 01:10:32,166 --> 01:10:34,500 WE'RE GOING TO GO FOR A RIDE, OKAY? 1229 01:11:07,708 --> 01:11:09,792 WAIT! YOU CAN'T GO WHERE SHE'S GOING. 1230 01:11:16,125 --> 01:11:17,791 WHAT IS IT? 1231 01:11:17,792 --> 01:11:19,291 IT'S NOT FOR US TO KNOW. 1232 01:11:37,625 --> 01:11:39,791 AS WE WALKED INTO THE DARK UNKNOWN, 1233 01:11:39,792 --> 01:11:41,416 OR WHATEVER YOU WANT TO CALL IT, 1234 01:11:41,417 --> 01:11:43,875 I THOUGHT, IS THIS IT? 1235 01:11:44,625 --> 01:11:46,916 IS THIS WHO I AM? 1236 01:11:46,917 --> 01:11:49,166 AM I REALLY A GRIM REAPER? 1237 01:12:16,250 --> 01:12:19,208 I THINK FOR ME, DEATH WAS JUST A WAKE-UP CALL.