1 00:00:13,000 --> 00:00:15,374 [GEORGE] EVERY REAPER HAS THEIR OWN DISTINCT STYLE... 2 00:00:15,375 --> 00:00:16,916 YOU KNOW, THOSE LITTLE PERSONAL TOUCHES 3 00:00:16,917 --> 00:00:18,582 THAT MAKE DEATH SO SPECIAL. 4 00:00:18,583 --> 00:00:20,499 DON'T I NEED TO BE CROSSING OVER, 5 00:00:20,500 --> 00:00:23,166 OR PASSING ON, OR SOMETHING? 6 00:00:23,167 --> 00:00:25,249 YOU AIN'T GOING NOWHERE UNTIL I FILL MY QUOTA. 7 00:00:25,250 --> 00:00:26,666 COOL IT, SIR. 8 00:00:26,667 --> 00:00:28,916 I'M GOING TO SAY THIS AS POLITELY AS POSSIBLE. 9 00:00:28,917 --> 00:00:30,583 I WILL FUCK YOU UP. 10 00:00:32,792 --> 00:00:35,624 SHE'S A STRANGE 11-YEAR-OLD. 11 00:00:35,625 --> 00:00:37,225 SHE'S JUST GOING THROUGH A DIFFICULT TIME. 12 00:00:37,249 --> 00:00:38,833 SHE'S BEEN STEALING TOILET SEATS 13 00:00:38,834 --> 00:00:40,707 AND BRINGING HOME DEAD ANIMALS. 14 00:00:40,708 --> 00:00:43,332 YOU THINK SLAPPING UP SOME PHOTOS WILL STOP THAT? 15 00:00:43,333 --> 00:00:45,874 I THINK IT'D BE MORE PRODUCTIVE IF I TALKED TO REGGIE ALONE 16 00:00:45,875 --> 00:00:47,125 FOR THE REST OF TODAY'S SESSION. 17 00:00:48,209 --> 00:00:49,583 HEY, YOU LIKE THE LADIES, RIGHT? 18 00:00:51,084 --> 00:00:52,708 OH, BLOODY HELL. 19 00:00:55,667 --> 00:00:57,041 HOW YOU DOING? 20 00:00:57,042 --> 00:00:58,166 I DON'T THINK SO. 21 00:00:59,834 --> 00:01:01,000 J.D... 22 00:01:02,500 --> 00:01:04,082 J.D., COME! 23 00:01:04,083 --> 00:01:06,041 J.D., COME! 24 00:01:06,042 --> 00:01:07,666 [TIRES SQUEALING] [OLD LADY SCREAMING] 25 00:01:07,667 --> 00:01:09,917 WHO'S GOING TO TAKE CARE OF J.D.? 26 00:01:13,250 --> 00:01:14,583 WELL, WHO ARE YOU? 27 00:01:16,458 --> 00:01:17,917 [♪♪] 28 00:02:24,000 --> 00:02:27,000 THE BEST MEMORIES DON'T HAVE A CHANCE. 29 00:02:28,041 --> 00:02:30,416 YOU KEEP COMING BACK TO THEM, 30 00:02:30,417 --> 00:02:33,959 AND EVERY TIME YOU DO, YOU COOK THEM A LITTLE MORE. 31 00:02:35,209 --> 00:02:37,208 DAD, DO YOU WANT ONE OF MY BLUEBERRY PANCAKES 32 00:02:37,209 --> 00:02:38,208 WHEN THEY COME? 33 00:02:38,209 --> 00:02:39,541 YEAH, I'LL TELL YOU WHAT, GEORGIA. 34 00:02:39,542 --> 00:02:41,302 I'LL TRADE YOU ONE OF YOUR BLUEBERRY PANCAKES 35 00:02:41,326 --> 00:02:42,416 FOR TWO PIECES OF MY BACON. 36 00:02:42,417 --> 00:02:44,624 IT'S A DEAL, 37 00:02:44,625 --> 00:02:46,916 BUT YOU COULD HAVE HAD A BLUEBERRY PANCAKE FOR FREE. 38 00:02:46,917 --> 00:02:48,208 GOAL! 39 00:02:48,209 --> 00:02:49,457 WHOO! 40 00:02:49,458 --> 00:02:51,707 AFTER A WHILE, ALL YOU HAVE LEFT 41 00:02:51,708 --> 00:02:54,707 IS THIS TINY CRISPY FRAGMENT. 42 00:02:54,708 --> 00:02:58,374 IT'S NOT LIKE YOU EVEN REMEMBER WHAT HAPPENED ANYMORE. 43 00:02:58,375 --> 00:03:02,082 IT'S MORE LIKE IT'S THE IDEA OF WHAT HAPPENED, 44 00:03:02,083 --> 00:03:04,959 AND SUNDAY MORNINGS WERE THE BEST. 45 00:03:08,125 --> 00:03:09,583 THE KETCHUP. 46 00:03:13,917 --> 00:03:15,083 GEORGIA! 47 00:03:15,084 --> 00:03:16,749 THE KETCHUP. GEORGE. THE KETCHUP. 48 00:03:16,750 --> 00:03:18,167 OH, SORRY. 49 00:03:19,250 --> 00:03:20,541 I KNOW IT'S NONE OF MY BUSINESS, 50 00:03:20,542 --> 00:03:23,916 BUT YOU ARE A VERY INTERNAL LITTLE CREATURE. 51 00:03:23,917 --> 00:03:25,833 YOU ALWAYS SAY SOMETHING'S NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS, 52 00:03:25,834 --> 00:03:26,999 AND THEN YOU ACT LIKE IT IS. 53 00:03:27,000 --> 00:03:28,582 I'M NOT INTERNAL. 54 00:03:28,583 --> 00:03:30,791 YOU ARE. THAT'S WHY YOU SPEND SO MUCH TIME ALONE, 55 00:03:30,792 --> 00:03:32,833 AND WHY YOU DON'T HAVE ANY FRIENDS. 56 00:03:32,834 --> 00:03:35,999 NOW, ROXY HERE, SHE'S AS EXTERNAL AS THEY GET. 57 00:03:36,000 --> 00:03:37,499 YOU DON'T KNOW ME. 58 00:03:37,500 --> 00:03:39,833 I KNOW YOUR MOODS. GRUMPY. 59 00:03:39,834 --> 00:03:42,000 MEAN AND GRUMPY. SLEEPY AND GRUMPY. 60 00:03:42,917 --> 00:03:44,207 LIKE THE SEVEN DWARVES. 61 00:03:44,208 --> 00:03:46,041 DAISY, YOU WERE AN ACTRESS, THEN. 62 00:03:46,042 --> 00:03:48,416 DID YOU EVER SLEEP WITH A DWARF? DID YOU BLOW A DWARF? 63 00:03:48,417 --> 00:03:51,165 DON'T BE STUPID. THEY'RE CARTOONS. 64 00:03:51,166 --> 00:03:54,207 I WOULD LOVE TO SEE YOU DO MY JOB FOR ONE DAY. 65 00:03:54,208 --> 00:03:55,499 WHEN THERE'S A BROADWAY MUSICAL 66 00:03:55,500 --> 00:03:57,290 ABOUT YOUR STYLELESS BUT FUNCTIONAL SHOES, 67 00:03:57,291 --> 00:03:59,041 I WILL GLADLY WALK A MILE IN THEM. 68 00:04:00,208 --> 00:04:02,582 MAY I PLEASE HAVE MY ASSIGNMENT? 69 00:04:02,583 --> 00:04:05,208 IT'S OVER AT THE COLLEGE. PARKING'S A NIGHTMARE. 70 00:04:05,209 --> 00:04:06,290 I DON'T HAVE A CAR. 71 00:04:06,291 --> 00:04:08,249 PARKING'S STILL A NIGHTMARE. 72 00:04:08,250 --> 00:04:09,833 I'M GOING TO COME WITH YOU. 73 00:04:09,834 --> 00:04:11,374 I LIKE TO DO THINGS ON MY OWN. 74 00:04:11,375 --> 00:04:14,624 I KNOW WHAT YOU'RE DOING. YOU'RE TRYING TO SCORE SOME SWEET YOUNG THING. 75 00:04:14,625 --> 00:04:16,165 OH, COME ON, DID IT EVER OCCUR TO YOU 76 00:04:16,166 --> 00:04:19,249 THAT BEING AROUND ALL THAT YOUTHFUL ENERGY MIGHT INSPIRE ME? 77 00:04:19,250 --> 00:04:21,291 THEN YOU COULD STEAL A SHITLOAD OF DRUGS. 78 00:04:23,917 --> 00:04:26,249 ROUND AND ROUND AND ROUND IT GOES, 79 00:04:26,250 --> 00:04:29,374 WHERE IT STOPS, NOBODY KNOWS. 80 00:04:29,375 --> 00:04:32,166 YOU KNOW THAT MOMENT AFTER YOU'VE BEEN DEAD A WHILE 81 00:04:32,167 --> 00:04:33,290 WHEN YOU BEGIN TO SUSPECT 82 00:04:33,291 --> 00:04:36,084 THINGS MIGHT BE COMING BACK TO NORMAL IN YOUR FAMILY? 83 00:04:37,125 --> 00:04:39,249 OKAY, MAYBE YOU DON'T. 84 00:04:39,250 --> 00:04:42,791 WELL, I THINK THAT MAY HAVE HAPPENED TO MY FAMILY. 85 00:04:42,792 --> 00:04:47,083 THE WEIRD PART IS MY FAMILY NEVER WAS NORMAL BEFORE. 86 00:04:47,084 --> 00:04:49,667 HEY, YOU KNOW THAT IRISH SETTER I HAD GROWING UP? FRECKLES? 87 00:04:50,834 --> 00:04:52,624 YEAH, YOUR MOM SHOWED ME PICTURES. 88 00:04:52,625 --> 00:04:55,707 YEAH, SHE LOATHED THAT DOG. 89 00:04:55,708 --> 00:04:58,958 SHE TOLD ME THAT WHILE SHE WAS SHOWING ME PICTURES. 90 00:04:58,959 --> 00:05:01,958 WELL, ONE DAY, IT TOOK A CRAP IN ONE OF HER SHOES. 91 00:05:01,959 --> 00:05:03,582 THAT WAS ALL SHE WROTE. 92 00:05:03,583 --> 00:05:05,999 SO, MY DAD, HE CAN'T BEAR TO PUT THE THING TO SLEEP, 93 00:05:06,000 --> 00:05:09,041 SO HE ANNOUNCES HE'S GOING TO DRIVE FRECKLES UP MT. TAM 94 00:05:09,042 --> 00:05:11,124 AND SET HIM FREE. 95 00:05:11,125 --> 00:05:12,457 IN THE WOODS? 96 00:05:12,458 --> 00:05:14,208 IN THE WOODS. 97 00:05:14,209 --> 00:05:16,583 HE SHOULD HAVE DONE THAT WITH YOUR MOTHER. 98 00:05:18,166 --> 00:05:20,000 NO, HE KEPT THEM BOTH. 99 00:05:25,792 --> 00:05:28,999 IT ONLY SAYS "SEVENTH FLOOR. R.L. GUGGENHEIM." 100 00:05:29,000 --> 00:05:30,207 THIS A DUMP. 101 00:05:30,208 --> 00:05:31,582 WELL, WHAT WERE YOU EXPECTING? 102 00:05:31,583 --> 00:05:34,083 I DON'T KNOW. SOMETHING A BIT MORE COLLEGIATE. 103 00:05:34,084 --> 00:05:36,124 HOLY SHIT. JEEZ... 104 00:05:36,125 --> 00:05:37,875 THAT WAS MY BONG, DOUCHEBAG! 105 00:05:39,458 --> 00:05:40,707 BUT IT'S NICE. 106 00:05:40,708 --> 00:05:42,166 I COULD HAVE GONE TO COLLEGE. 107 00:05:42,167 --> 00:05:43,582 WELL, UP UNTIL I HIT MY TEACHER 108 00:05:43,583 --> 00:05:44,999 ON THE HEAD WITH A BOOK... 109 00:05:45,000 --> 00:05:47,040 OR MAYBE IT WAS A GLOBE. 110 00:05:47,041 --> 00:05:49,165 I CAN'T REMEMBER WHAT I HIT MY TEACHER WITH. 111 00:05:49,166 --> 00:05:51,167 WHEN DID THIS HAPPEN? 112 00:05:51,708 --> 00:05:53,499 UH... PRIMARY, 113 00:05:53,500 --> 00:05:54,740 SO I GUESS I WAS SEVEN OR EIGHT. 114 00:05:54,764 --> 00:05:56,041 MY MOTHER WAS MORE EXCITED 115 00:05:56,042 --> 00:05:57,916 ABOUT ME GOING TO COLLEGE THAN I WAS. 116 00:05:57,917 --> 00:06:01,124 IT WAS LIKE, "HEY, HERE'S A SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE WAY" 117 00:06:01,125 --> 00:06:03,165 TO EVICT MY DAUGHTER FROM OUR HOUSE." 118 00:06:03,166 --> 00:06:04,749 BUT YOU DIDN'T GO. 119 00:06:04,750 --> 00:06:06,165 NO, I WENT, I JUST DROPPED OUT, 120 00:06:06,166 --> 00:06:07,916 AND SHE HATED ME FOR IT. 121 00:06:07,917 --> 00:06:09,666 WELL, MISSION ACCOMPLISHED. 122 00:06:09,667 --> 00:06:11,208 YOUR FATHER MUST HAVE SHIT. 123 00:06:11,209 --> 00:06:13,374 HE DIDN'T SAY MUCH, REALLY. 124 00:06:13,375 --> 00:06:15,999 WE WEREN'T REALLY CLOSE AT THAT POINT. 125 00:06:16,000 --> 00:06:17,000 WHY? 126 00:06:17,001 --> 00:06:18,833 I DON'T KNOW. 127 00:06:18,834 --> 00:06:20,541 WHEN I WAS A KID, WE WERE REALLY CLOSE. 128 00:06:20,542 --> 00:06:23,124 HE USED TO LET ME DRINK COKE AT BREAKFAST. 129 00:06:23,125 --> 00:06:25,042 I THOUGHT THAT WAS REALLY COOL. 130 00:06:26,708 --> 00:06:28,458 DAD, DO THE STRAW TRICK. 131 00:06:33,084 --> 00:06:34,792 THAT NEVER GETS OLD. 132 00:06:39,042 --> 00:06:40,916 COLLEGE IS TWO THINGS. 133 00:06:40,917 --> 00:06:43,791 FORGET WHAT THEY PUT IN LATIN AROUND THE SEAL. 134 00:06:43,792 --> 00:06:47,541 IT IS NOT ABOUT VERITAS OR FRATERNITAS. 135 00:06:47,542 --> 00:06:50,792 COLLEGE IS ABOUT STRESS-I-TAS AND BINGE-I-TAS. 136 00:06:51,458 --> 00:06:52,834 STRESS... 137 00:06:53,875 --> 00:06:55,208 BINGE. 138 00:06:55,209 --> 00:06:56,541 HAS ANYONE SEEN A PINK INDEX CARD 139 00:06:56,542 --> 00:06:58,082 WITH CALCULUS EQUATIONS ON IT? 140 00:06:58,083 --> 00:06:59,208 STRESS... FUCK ME! 141 00:07:00,084 --> 00:07:01,084 BINGE. 142 00:07:02,208 --> 00:07:04,582 I DON'T KNOW WHAT I WAS WORRIED ABOUT. 143 00:07:04,583 --> 00:07:06,166 I DIDN'T HAVE ANY PAPERS DUE. 144 00:07:06,167 --> 00:07:08,374 I HADN'T JUST BROKEN UP WITH MY BOYFRIEND. 145 00:07:08,375 --> 00:07:10,332 I DIDN'T FEEL STUPID AND ALONE, 146 00:07:10,333 --> 00:07:12,457 BUT JUST BEING NEAR ALL THESE PEOPLE WHO DID 147 00:07:12,458 --> 00:07:14,124 MADE ME WANT TO SCREAM OR CRY. 148 00:07:14,125 --> 00:07:15,582 DRUGS? 149 00:07:15,583 --> 00:07:16,707 NO, THANK YOU. 150 00:07:16,708 --> 00:07:18,999 ANTIDEPRESSANTS, AMOXICILLIN. 151 00:07:19,000 --> 00:07:20,416 EVERYONE'S TAKING AMOXICILLIN. 152 00:07:20,417 --> 00:07:21,749 WELL, GOOD FOR THEM. 153 00:07:21,750 --> 00:07:24,290 HEY, LISTEN, I HAVE THIS THEORY 154 00:07:24,291 --> 00:07:26,165 THAT ALL THIS ELITIST COLLEGE CRAP 155 00:07:26,166 --> 00:07:27,833 IS JUST A FRONT FOR THE BACTERIA. 156 00:07:27,834 --> 00:07:30,707 NOW, BACTERIA CREATES THE COLLEGES 157 00:07:30,708 --> 00:07:32,332 TO HAVE THE PERFECT PLACE 158 00:07:32,333 --> 00:07:35,457 TO BREED AND EVOLVE, YOU KNOW? 159 00:07:35,458 --> 00:07:38,541 LET'S JUST FIND THIS GUY AND GET OUT OF HERE. 160 00:07:38,542 --> 00:07:41,541 "LIKE AS THE WAVES MAKE TOWARDS THE PEBBLED SHORE, 161 00:07:41,542 --> 00:07:44,791 "SO DO OUR MINUTES HASTEN TO THEIR END, 162 00:07:44,792 --> 00:07:45,999 "EACH CHANGING PLACE 163 00:07:46,000 --> 00:07:48,165 WITH THAT WHICH GOES BEFORE." 164 00:07:48,166 --> 00:07:51,416 READING POETRY TO A GOOD-LOOKING GUY IN MY DORM ROOM? 165 00:07:51,417 --> 00:07:53,666 THIS IS SOMETHING I'LL NEVER DO. 166 00:07:53,667 --> 00:07:55,541 HEY, SENORITA! 167 00:07:55,542 --> 00:07:58,499 MAKE WAY FOR BUTROS BUTROS NITROUS, 168 00:07:58,500 --> 00:08:00,124 POR FAVOR. 169 00:08:00,125 --> 00:08:02,375 SOMETHING ELSE I'LL NEVER DO. 170 00:08:03,000 --> 00:08:04,208 WHAT'S GOING ON? 171 00:08:05,375 --> 00:08:06,874 NOTHING. 172 00:08:06,875 --> 00:08:08,675 "AND NOTHING STANDS BUT FOR HIS SCYTHE TO MOW, 173 00:08:08,699 --> 00:08:11,999 "AND YET, TO TIMES, IN HOPE, MY VERSE SHALL STAND, 174 00:08:12,000 --> 00:08:14,834 PRAISING THY WORTH, DESPITE HIS CRUEL HAND." 175 00:08:16,000 --> 00:08:17,000 DO YOU GET THIS? 176 00:08:17,001 --> 00:08:19,124 YEAH, YEAH. VERY MOVING. 177 00:08:19,125 --> 00:08:20,125 YOU WANT A BEER? 178 00:08:20,126 --> 00:08:21,208 NO. 179 00:08:23,250 --> 00:08:26,083 I JUST THOUGHT WE COULD RELAX A LITTLE BIT. 180 00:08:26,667 --> 00:08:28,707 FUCK! 181 00:08:28,708 --> 00:08:30,667 WELL, NO, JUST LEAVE THE DOOR OPEN, OKAY? 182 00:08:35,084 --> 00:08:37,958 HAS ANYBODY SEEN MY PINK INDEX CARD? 183 00:08:37,959 --> 00:08:40,041 IS YOUR NAME RICH GUGGENHEIM? 184 00:08:40,875 --> 00:08:42,457 FUCK! YES! I AM. 185 00:08:42,458 --> 00:08:43,999 THANK YOU SO MUCH. 186 00:08:44,000 --> 00:08:45,666 BIG TEST, HUH? 187 00:08:45,667 --> 00:08:48,958 YEAH. WELL, NO. WHO CARES? 188 00:08:48,959 --> 00:08:51,166 I GOT THE NUMBER OF THIS GIRL ON HERE. 189 00:08:51,167 --> 00:08:52,499 HER NAME IS JENNY. 190 00:08:52,500 --> 00:08:53,792 DO YOU BELIEVE IN FATE? 191 00:08:54,542 --> 00:08:56,124 KIND OF. 192 00:08:56,125 --> 00:08:57,874 WE MET BY THE VENDING MACHINES 193 00:08:57,875 --> 00:08:59,235 IN THE BASEMENT OF THE MED LIBRARY. 194 00:08:59,259 --> 00:09:02,124 THEY HAVE YOO-HOO. WHATEVER. 195 00:09:02,125 --> 00:09:04,749 SHE WAS SINGING THAT OLD FRANKIE GOES TO HOLLYWOOD SONG, 196 00:09:04,750 --> 00:09:06,791 "DO YOU KNOW THE WAY TO SAN JOSE?" 197 00:09:06,792 --> 00:09:09,624 AND I HAD KA-ZAA'D THAT, LIKE, THE NIGHT BEFORE, 198 00:09:09,625 --> 00:09:10,833 AND I SAID TO HER, 199 00:09:10,834 --> 00:09:15,333 "WE SHOULD JUST GET IN THE CAR AND DRIVE TO SAN JOSE," 200 00:09:16,208 --> 00:09:20,083 YOU KNOW, FUCK ALL THIS, 201 00:09:20,084 --> 00:09:23,040 AND SHE TURNS TO ME, AND SHE'S ALMOST CRYING, 202 00:09:23,041 --> 00:09:25,124 YOU KNOW, WITH HER YOO-HOO AND SHIT, AND... 203 00:09:25,125 --> 00:09:27,666 AND SHE SAYS, "I'VE NEVER BEEN TO CALIFORNIA." 204 00:09:27,667 --> 00:09:30,624 LET'S DO IT AFTER FINALS," 205 00:09:30,625 --> 00:09:32,042 AND SHE WROTE HER NUMBER DOWN. 206 00:09:32,667 --> 00:09:34,290 THIS IS IT. 207 00:09:34,291 --> 00:09:35,500 JENNY. 208 00:09:37,000 --> 00:09:38,280 I THINK WE'RE REALLY GOING TO GO. 209 00:09:44,250 --> 00:09:46,124 YOU SHOULD. 210 00:09:46,125 --> 00:09:48,290 JENNY MAY GET TO CALIFORNIA SOMEDAY, 211 00:09:48,291 --> 00:09:50,582 BUT IT WON'T BE WITH HIM. 212 00:09:50,583 --> 00:09:51,917 SHIT! 213 00:09:54,167 --> 00:09:57,124 MEANWHILE, THE CLASS CLOWNS WERE FUCKING WITH THE LAWS OF PHYSICS. 214 00:09:57,125 --> 00:09:58,166 IT'S OKAY. 215 00:10:00,542 --> 00:10:02,000 WATCH OUT! 216 00:10:06,375 --> 00:10:10,332 DUDE? DUDE... 217 00:10:10,333 --> 00:10:12,291 I THINK IT'S TIME WE GO. 218 00:10:15,291 --> 00:10:17,250 SHE WANTED IT OPEN. 219 00:10:23,959 --> 00:10:25,000 STOP IT. 220 00:10:26,500 --> 00:10:28,124 I HEAR YOU AND RESPECT THAT YOU SAY NO, 221 00:10:28,125 --> 00:10:29,485 BUT I THINK I CAN CHANGE YOUR MIND. 222 00:10:29,509 --> 00:10:31,135 GET OFF OF ME! STOP IT! 223 00:10:32,750 --> 00:10:34,874 I JUST REMEMBERED WHAT I HIT MY TEACHER WITH. 224 00:10:34,875 --> 00:10:37,041 YOU'VE GOT, LIKE, ONE SECOND. 225 00:10:43,500 --> 00:10:46,125 SO, WAS THAT KID IN THE HALL REALLY DEAD? 226 00:10:52,917 --> 00:10:55,082 YEAH. HE WAS. 227 00:10:55,083 --> 00:10:57,749 GOD, I'VE NEVER SEEN A REAL DEAD PERSON BEFORE. 228 00:10:57,750 --> 00:10:59,167 HAVE YOU? 229 00:10:59,625 --> 00:11:00,833 NO. NO. 230 00:11:00,834 --> 00:11:04,208 MOST GUYS ON CAMPUS ARE LIKE YOU. 231 00:11:04,209 --> 00:11:06,874 THEY'RE NORMAL, SWEET. 232 00:11:06,875 --> 00:11:08,874 I DON'T EVEN KNOW WHY I WAS STUDYING WITH THIS GUY. 233 00:11:08,875 --> 00:11:10,165 IT LOOKED PRETTY BAD. 234 00:11:10,166 --> 00:11:13,208 WELL, I HAD PEPPER SPRAY RIGHT ON MY KEYS, 235 00:11:13,209 --> 00:11:15,708 BUT I WAS JUST, LIKE, YOU KNOW, "IS THIS REALLY HAPPENING?" 236 00:11:16,667 --> 00:11:18,749 YOU HAD A BRAIN FREEZE. 237 00:11:18,750 --> 00:11:21,083 I GET THEM... ALL THE TIME. 238 00:11:21,084 --> 00:11:24,374 YOU KNOW, SOMETIMES I WISH I COULD JUST, LIKE, BE AWAKE, 239 00:11:24,375 --> 00:11:26,707 YOU KNOW, IN THE MOMENT, WHEN IT'S HAPPENING. 240 00:11:26,708 --> 00:11:29,041 OR HAVE, LIKE, A PAUSE BUTTON OR SOMETHING 241 00:11:29,042 --> 00:11:30,999 SO YOU CAN HAVE TIME TO REACT. 242 00:11:31,000 --> 00:11:32,290 YEAH, YEAH, YEAH, EXACTLY. 243 00:11:32,291 --> 00:11:35,416 YOU KNOW, I'M SUCH AN EXPERT ON LIFE AFTER SHIT HAPPENS. 244 00:11:35,417 --> 00:11:37,999 GOD, LIFE IS JUST TOO FAST. 245 00:11:38,000 --> 00:11:40,749 IS IT WRONG TO DECIDE SOMEONE IS SUCH A GREAT PERSON 246 00:11:40,750 --> 00:11:43,290 BECAUSE THEY'RE SO MUCH LIKE YOU? 247 00:11:43,291 --> 00:11:45,999 OH, SHOOT. I'VE GOT LAUNDRY AT THE COIN-OP. 248 00:11:46,000 --> 00:11:48,040 I COULD GIVE YOU A RIDE. 249 00:11:48,041 --> 00:11:49,291 A RIDE IN WHAT? 250 00:11:50,583 --> 00:11:52,208 YOU HAVE A CAR? 251 00:11:52,209 --> 00:11:53,125 YEAH. 252 00:11:53,126 --> 00:11:54,958 OKAY, GOD, THIS IS GOING TO SOUND SO SHALLOW, 253 00:11:54,959 --> 00:11:57,040 BUT, UM, I LIKE TO GUESS WHAT PEOPLE DRIVE. 254 00:11:57,041 --> 00:11:58,124 YEAH. 255 00:11:58,125 --> 00:12:00,124 YEAH, I'M CURIOUS TOO. 256 00:12:00,125 --> 00:12:02,833 OKAY, UM... 257 00:12:02,834 --> 00:12:05,332 I THINK THAT YOU WOULD RATHER WALK 258 00:12:05,333 --> 00:12:08,875 THAN DRIVE SOMETHING THAT DIDN'T SUIT YOU, SO... 259 00:12:09,917 --> 00:12:15,458 I'M GOING TO GO WITH... CLASSIC TRANS AM. RED. 260 00:12:17,167 --> 00:12:18,250 THAT'S INCREDIBLE. 261 00:12:19,917 --> 00:12:21,124 UNCANNY. 262 00:12:21,125 --> 00:12:22,332 OH, MY GOD, I GOT IT RIGHT? 263 00:12:22,333 --> 00:12:23,417 YES. 264 00:12:25,000 --> 00:12:26,749 IN FACT, I'M GOING TO GO... 265 00:12:26,750 --> 00:12:29,499 GO AND GET IT NOW. A RED ONE? RED ONE. 266 00:12:29,500 --> 00:12:30,792 YEAH. 267 00:12:31,708 --> 00:12:34,332 UH, MASON, DON'T FORGET OUR... 268 00:12:34,333 --> 00:12:35,583 THING. 269 00:12:36,167 --> 00:12:37,332 YEAH, YEAH. 270 00:12:37,333 --> 00:12:38,959 [WHISTLES] 271 00:12:41,042 --> 00:12:42,500 HE'S KIND OF CUTE. 272 00:12:43,208 --> 00:12:44,833 DO YOU GUYS... 273 00:12:44,834 --> 00:12:47,041 OH, NO. UH, NO. 274 00:12:48,291 --> 00:12:50,375 SO, UM, WHAT'S YOUR MAJOR? 275 00:12:51,291 --> 00:12:53,249 OH MY GOD, THAT'S... THAT'S SO QUEER. 276 00:12:53,250 --> 00:12:55,166 UH, WHAT'S YOUR NAME? 277 00:12:55,167 --> 00:12:57,916 RUBE ALWAYS SAID DON'T GET TOO CLOSE TO THE LIVING. 278 00:12:57,917 --> 00:12:59,290 JUST STAY ON THE PERIPHERY. 279 00:12:59,291 --> 00:13:01,208 DON'T TELL HER WHO YOU ARE. 280 00:13:01,209 --> 00:13:03,541 GIVE HER YOUR UNDEAD NAME. 281 00:13:03,542 --> 00:13:05,000 I'M MILLIE. 282 00:13:05,458 --> 00:13:07,666 CHARLOTTE. 283 00:13:07,667 --> 00:13:09,625 OH, I KNOW, SHAKING HANDS IS SO WEIRD. 284 00:13:11,000 --> 00:13:13,416 HEY, YOU WANT TO GO GET SOME COFFEE? 285 00:13:13,417 --> 00:13:15,082 I GUESS THAT'S WHAT YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO SAY 286 00:13:15,083 --> 00:13:16,958 WHEN SOMEONE'S HAVING A FUCKED-UP DAY? 287 00:13:16,959 --> 00:13:17,999 YEAH, IS THAT WHAT IT SAYS 288 00:13:18,000 --> 00:13:20,833 IN THE "GIRLS WHO MAKE BAD DECISIONS" MANUAL? 289 00:13:20,834 --> 00:13:22,791 PAGE THREE. 290 00:13:22,792 --> 00:13:25,290 UM, IS YOUR FRIEND GOING TO BE OKAY? 291 00:13:25,291 --> 00:13:27,249 YEAH, HE'LL BE FINE. 292 00:13:27,250 --> 00:13:28,457 OKAY. 293 00:13:28,458 --> 00:13:30,208 [CAR ALARM GOING OFF] 294 00:13:34,500 --> 00:13:35,707 AS YOU GET OLDER, 295 00:13:35,708 --> 00:13:38,082 THE CHANCE OF MAKING A REALLY GOOD NEW FRIEND 296 00:13:38,083 --> 00:13:42,208 IS PROBABLY ABOUT THE SAME AS BEING HIT BY A TRUCK, 297 00:13:42,209 --> 00:13:45,749 AND IF YOU'RE HIT BY A TRUCK, WHICH IS TO SAY DEAD, 298 00:13:45,750 --> 00:13:49,249 THE CHANCES OF MAKING A GOOD FRIEND ARE EVEN SLIMMER, 299 00:13:49,250 --> 00:13:51,999 SO WHEN I REMEMBERED I HAD A LUNCH DATE WITH CHARLOTTE, 300 00:13:52,000 --> 00:13:54,833 I FELT SOMETHING NEW SINCE I DIED... 301 00:13:54,834 --> 00:13:56,208 I FELT LUCKY. 302 00:14:01,000 --> 00:14:03,417 MASON WAS FEELING SOMETHING NEW TOO. 303 00:14:06,834 --> 00:14:10,165 MEANWHILE, ROXY WAS JUST DOING HER JOB, 304 00:14:10,166 --> 00:14:11,916 WORKING FOR THE MAN, 305 00:14:11,917 --> 00:14:13,999 WHEN SHE RAN INTO A BAD ONE... 306 00:14:14,000 --> 00:14:15,332 ALL RIGHT, TAKE IT BACK. 307 00:14:15,333 --> 00:14:17,124 THE TICKET'S ALREADY BEEN WRITTEN. 308 00:14:17,125 --> 00:14:18,416 THEY DON'T GO BACK. 309 00:14:18,417 --> 00:14:19,999 OH, RIGHT. 310 00:14:20,000 --> 00:14:22,124 OKAY, THEN, WHY DON'T YOU JUST SHOVE THOSE TICKETS 311 00:14:22,125 --> 00:14:23,365 WHERE THE SUN DON'T SHINE, MISS? 312 00:14:23,389 --> 00:14:24,958 STEP ASIDE, SIR. 313 00:14:24,959 --> 00:14:28,084 AS I TOLD YOU YESTERDAY, IF YOU HAVE A COMPLAINT, THERE'S A SYSTEM IN PLACE. 314 00:14:29,209 --> 00:14:33,208 YOUR SYSTEM CAN SUCK MY DICK, MISS, OKAY? 315 00:14:33,209 --> 00:14:35,666 NOW, I AIN'T EVER GOING TO PAY THOSE FUCKING TICKETS, 316 00:14:35,667 --> 00:14:36,999 SO JUST TAKE YOUR TICKETS, 317 00:14:37,000 --> 00:14:38,720 PUT THEM IN YOUR FUCKING POCKET AND WALK OFF. 318 00:14:38,744 --> 00:14:40,041 YOU NEED TO STEP OFF. 319 00:14:40,042 --> 00:14:41,125 STEP OFF? 320 00:14:42,792 --> 00:14:44,000 STEP OFF... 321 00:14:48,000 --> 00:14:50,416 OKAY. OKAY... 322 00:14:50,417 --> 00:14:52,166 STEP OFF! 323 00:14:52,167 --> 00:14:54,166 SIR! THAT IS CITY PROPERTY! 324 00:14:54,167 --> 00:14:56,041 YOU'RE NOT LISTENING TO ME, OKAY? 325 00:14:56,042 --> 00:14:57,642 I AIN'T NEVER GOING TO PAY THOSE TICKETS! 326 00:14:57,666 --> 00:14:58,749 SO YOU TAKE THEM BACK! 327 00:14:58,750 --> 00:15:02,416 I DON'T GIVE A FUCK ABOUT YOUR GODDAMN FUCKING RULES, 328 00:15:02,417 --> 00:15:04,582 SO YOU TAKE THESE GODDAMN TICKETS BACK! 329 00:15:04,583 --> 00:15:05,999 HO... HO... HOLD UP, NOW! 330 00:15:06,000 --> 00:15:08,040 NOW, I CAN TOLERATE YOU CURSING ME OUT, 331 00:15:08,041 --> 00:15:10,332 SCREAMING AT ME, DISRESPECTING MY VEHICLE, 332 00:15:10,333 --> 00:15:14,291 BUT DON'T YOU EVER PUT YOUR HANDS ON ME. 333 00:15:22,083 --> 00:15:24,124 AND THAT'S WHEN ROXY DECIDED 334 00:15:24,125 --> 00:15:26,792 SHE DIDN'T CARE ABOUT BREAKING THE RULES EITHER. 335 00:15:31,375 --> 00:15:33,749 LET ME TELL YOU SOMETHING. 336 00:15:33,750 --> 00:15:38,416 I AM TRYING TO DO MY JOB, WHICH IS DEFINITELY MY DAY JOB. 337 00:15:38,417 --> 00:15:40,165 IF YOU KEEP FUCKING WITH ME, 338 00:15:40,166 --> 00:15:42,124 THERE ARE OTHER SKILLS I CAN EMPLOY 339 00:15:42,125 --> 00:15:45,666 THAT WILL GIVE YOUR LIFE A TURN FOR THE STRANGE AND THE PAINFUL. 340 00:15:45,667 --> 00:15:47,083 DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME? 341 00:16:14,417 --> 00:16:16,124 SHAKESPEARE SONNETS. 342 00:16:16,125 --> 00:16:17,499 WHAT AN ELEGANT, SLENDER VOLUME. 343 00:16:17,500 --> 00:16:19,060 WHY, MASON, IS YOUR COFFEE TABLE UNEVEN? 344 00:16:22,959 --> 00:16:24,084 WAIT. 345 00:16:25,000 --> 00:16:27,083 IS THERE A GIRL? 346 00:16:27,084 --> 00:16:28,417 SOMEONE SPECIAL YOU WANT TO SHAG? 347 00:16:30,083 --> 00:16:32,500 I DON'T WANT TO SHAG HER, DAISY. 348 00:16:34,458 --> 00:16:37,749 I... I DO WANT TO SHAG HER, BUT NOT IN THE USUAL WAY. 349 00:16:37,750 --> 00:16:39,542 I... I LIKE HER. 350 00:16:41,209 --> 00:16:42,749 OH MY. 351 00:16:42,750 --> 00:16:44,250 SHE'S DIFFERENT. 352 00:16:45,084 --> 00:16:46,165 SHE'S SWEET. 353 00:16:46,166 --> 00:16:50,124 SHE'S SOPHISTICATED. SHE'S A COLLEGE GIRL. 354 00:16:50,125 --> 00:16:52,625 A COLLEGE GIRL. HMM. 355 00:16:54,333 --> 00:16:56,499 UM, WHAT IS THAT SUPPOSED TO MEAN? 356 00:16:56,500 --> 00:16:57,999 NOTHING. 357 00:16:58,000 --> 00:16:59,416 HOW DID YOU MEET? 358 00:16:59,417 --> 00:17:02,541 I HIT SOME BLOKE ON THE HEAD WHO WAS TRYING TO DATE-RAPE HER. 359 00:17:02,542 --> 00:17:03,749 MMM... 360 00:17:03,750 --> 00:17:05,582 A STORY TO TELL THE GRANDKIDS. 361 00:17:05,583 --> 00:17:07,416 YEAH, FORGET IT. 362 00:17:07,417 --> 00:17:10,166 MASON, COME ON. IT'S A BIT STRANGE SEEING YOU THIS WAY. 363 00:17:10,167 --> 00:17:11,374 SHE'S DIFFERENT. 364 00:17:11,375 --> 00:17:12,582 I GET THAT. 365 00:17:12,583 --> 00:17:14,208 NOT TOO DIFFERENT. 366 00:17:14,209 --> 00:17:16,374 OH, NO, NO. NO, IT'LL BE FINE. 367 00:17:16,375 --> 00:17:18,735 YOU'LL SWEEP HER OFF HER FEET, SHOW HER THERE'S MORE TO LIFE 368 00:17:18,759 --> 00:17:19,582 THAN BOOK LEARNING. 369 00:17:19,583 --> 00:17:21,291 SHE'LL TEACH YOU ABOUT SALAD FORKS, 370 00:17:22,375 --> 00:17:23,916 THE ROMANTIC POETS, 371 00:17:23,917 --> 00:17:26,084 AND YOU'LL TEACH HER ABOUT CAR THEFT AND AMPHETAMINES. 372 00:17:29,083 --> 00:17:30,834 FUCK YOU, DAISY. 373 00:17:33,208 --> 00:17:35,208 I'M SORRY. 374 00:17:35,209 --> 00:17:37,124 I HOPE IT ALL WORKS OUT, HONEY. 375 00:17:37,125 --> 00:17:38,125 [TELEPHONE RINGING] 376 00:17:38,126 --> 00:17:39,708 FEEL LIKE A LITTLE LUNCH, MILLIE? 377 00:17:43,000 --> 00:17:45,458 UH, ACTUALLY, I HAVE PLANS TODAY. 378 00:17:46,000 --> 00:17:47,000 REALLY? 379 00:17:47,001 --> 00:17:50,000 YEAH, IT'S KIND OF A... LUNCH DATE. 380 00:17:50,458 --> 00:17:51,874 OH. 381 00:17:51,875 --> 00:17:54,250 I MEAN, NOT A DATE-DATE. 382 00:18:09,166 --> 00:18:14,165 MILLIE, I HOPE YOU DON'T FEEL UNCOMFORTABLE 383 00:18:14,166 --> 00:18:15,416 SAYING "NO" TO ME. 384 00:18:15,417 --> 00:18:18,084 IT DOESN'T HAVE TO BE AWKWARD. YOU DON'T HAVE TO LIE. 385 00:18:19,792 --> 00:18:21,583 I... I'M NOT. 386 00:18:22,542 --> 00:18:23,834 I'M NOT ANGRY. 387 00:18:24,250 --> 00:18:25,499 OKAY. 388 00:18:25,500 --> 00:18:27,249 THERE'LL BE PLENTY OF LUNCHES. 389 00:18:27,250 --> 00:18:29,124 UH-HUH. 390 00:18:29,125 --> 00:18:32,375 SO DON'T WORRY ABOUT HAVING "PLANS." 391 00:18:35,208 --> 00:18:38,125 BUT I REALLY DO HAVE A LUNCH DATE. 392 00:18:39,000 --> 00:18:43,624 OKAY. IT'S JUST YOUR HONESTY IS IMPORTANT, 393 00:18:43,625 --> 00:18:47,457 AND I THINK YOU SOMETIMES FORGET I HAVE BEEN WHERE YOU ARE. 394 00:18:47,458 --> 00:18:50,124 I HAVE BEEN YOUNG AND ALONE. 395 00:18:50,125 --> 00:18:51,166 I WILL SIMPLY SAY THIS. 396 00:18:52,000 --> 00:18:53,624 AS YOU GROW, 397 00:18:53,625 --> 00:18:56,666 BEING A LONER STOPS BEING SOMETHING YOU ARE ASHAMED OF 398 00:18:56,667 --> 00:19:00,416 AND BECOMES SOMETHING YOU TREASURE. 399 00:19:00,417 --> 00:19:04,166 HI, MILLIE. UM, SORRY I'M LATE. ARE YOU READY? 400 00:19:04,667 --> 00:19:05,792 YEAH. 401 00:19:06,166 --> 00:19:07,750 OKAY, BYE. 402 00:19:08,834 --> 00:19:10,499 SO, DO YOU LIKE TO SHOP? 403 00:19:10,500 --> 00:19:14,499 IT'S OKAY. I MEAN I'M NOT, LIKE, A FREAK ABOUT IT OR ANYTHING. 404 00:19:14,500 --> 00:19:16,916 WELL, I KNOW IT SOUNDS GIRLY, 405 00:19:16,917 --> 00:19:19,499 BUT I LOVE CLOTHES. 406 00:19:19,500 --> 00:19:21,208 TWO WORDS I'VE NEVER HEARD BEFORE... 407 00:19:21,750 --> 00:19:23,791 "CUTE TOP." 408 00:19:23,792 --> 00:19:25,499 WELL, UNLIKE YOU, 409 00:19:25,500 --> 00:19:28,125 I GET ALL MY SELF-ESTEEM FROM MY APPEARANCE. 410 00:19:29,333 --> 00:19:32,167 TWO WORDS I'VE ALSO NEVER HEARD BEFORE. 411 00:19:34,125 --> 00:19:35,499 WANT TO KNOW A SECRET? 412 00:19:35,500 --> 00:19:37,791 ABSOLUTELY. I LOVE SECRETS. 413 00:19:37,792 --> 00:19:40,040 I'VE NEVER HAD A MANICURE. 414 00:19:40,041 --> 00:19:44,375 JESUS! OKAY. NO. TOO MUCH. TOO SOON. 415 00:19:45,417 --> 00:19:46,875 OH, MY GOD. 416 00:19:50,000 --> 00:19:51,834 HEY, HAVE YOU EVER HEARD FROM THAT ASSHOLE? 417 00:19:52,417 --> 00:19:53,791 NO, I HAVEN'T SEEN HIM, 418 00:19:53,792 --> 00:19:56,666 BUT I FILED A REPORT WITH THE CAMPUS POLICE. 419 00:19:56,667 --> 00:19:58,290 YOU KNOW WHAT I WAS THINKING ABOUT? 420 00:19:58,291 --> 00:20:00,291 YOU KNOW WHAT TOTALLY SUCKED ABOUT THE WHOLE THING? 421 00:20:00,315 --> 00:20:01,773 THAT HE TRIED TO RAPED YOU? 422 00:20:02,834 --> 00:20:04,500 YEAH, BESIDES THAT. 423 00:20:05,708 --> 00:20:06,999 THE SONNETS. 424 00:20:07,000 --> 00:20:10,124 I LOVE THE SONNETS, AND HE TAINTED THEM FOR ME. 425 00:20:10,125 --> 00:20:12,749 THIS IS WHERE I FELT IT THE FIRST TIME... 426 00:20:12,750 --> 00:20:16,083 THE UNIVERSE WAS COCKING THE FUCK-WITH-ME GUN. 427 00:20:16,084 --> 00:20:19,082 "THAT TIME OF YEAR THOU MAYST IN ME BEHOLD 428 00:20:19,083 --> 00:20:22,999 "WHEN YELLOW LEAVES, OR NONE, OR FEW DO HANG 429 00:20:23,000 --> 00:20:26,209 "UPON THOSE BOUGHS WHICH SHAKE AGAINST THE COLD 430 00:20:26,875 --> 00:20:29,166 "BARE RUINED CHOIRS 431 00:20:29,167 --> 00:20:31,375 WHERE LATE THE SWEET BIRDS SANG." 432 00:20:32,625 --> 00:20:35,041 OH, SO I'M TAKING THIS INCREDIBLE SEMINAR. 433 00:20:35,042 --> 00:20:37,457 THE PROFESSOR'S A TOTAL TRIP. YOU SHOULD COME. 434 00:20:37,458 --> 00:20:38,541 BANG. 435 00:20:38,542 --> 00:20:40,749 "THAT TIME OF YEAR THOU MAYST BEHOLD IN ME 436 00:20:40,750 --> 00:20:43,916 "WHEN YELLOW LEAVES, OR NONE, OR FEW DO HANG 437 00:20:43,917 --> 00:20:45,165 "UPON THOSE BOUGHS 438 00:20:45,166 --> 00:20:47,374 "WHICH SHAKE AGAINST THE COLD 439 00:20:47,375 --> 00:20:49,833 "BARE RUINED CHOIRS WHERE LATE 440 00:20:49,834 --> 00:20:52,207 THE SWEET BIRDS SANG." 441 00:20:52,208 --> 00:20:53,332 SHAKESPEARE'S TRYING TO PAINT 442 00:20:53,333 --> 00:20:56,249 THAT EMOTIONAL MOMENT OF A LOVE LOST. 443 00:20:56,250 --> 00:20:59,165 I KNOW, I KNOW, IT'S SO OLD-SCHOOL. 444 00:20:59,166 --> 00:21:02,541 "A TREE IN WINTER, BOUGHS SHAKING AGAINST THE COLD." 445 00:21:02,542 --> 00:21:04,041 BLAH BLAH BLAH. 446 00:21:04,042 --> 00:21:05,583 IT'S SO FAMILIAR, 447 00:21:06,583 --> 00:21:09,916 BUT LET ME ASK YOU A QUESTION. 448 00:21:09,917 --> 00:21:12,333 WHO HERE HAS HAD THEIR HEART BROKEN? 449 00:21:14,000 --> 00:21:15,999 YEAH. OKAY. 450 00:21:16,000 --> 00:21:17,480 NOW WE KNOW WHO THE DRAMATIC ONES ARE, 451 00:21:18,291 --> 00:21:20,166 BUT HERE'S MY POINT. 452 00:21:20,167 --> 00:21:21,499 WHEN YOU'RE SUFFERING, 453 00:21:21,500 --> 00:21:23,833 AND I MEAN YOU'RE TRULY SUFFERING, 454 00:21:23,834 --> 00:21:27,124 IT'S THE CLICHES THAT HEAL YOU. 455 00:21:27,125 --> 00:21:31,082 WHEN I'M SAD, GIVE ME GEORGE JONES OR WILLIE NELSON. 456 00:21:31,083 --> 00:21:33,541 THAT'S THE BRILLIANCE OF THESE SONNETS. 457 00:21:33,542 --> 00:21:35,999 THEY STATE THE OBVIOUS. 458 00:21:36,000 --> 00:21:37,290 CLICHES ARE CLICHES 459 00:21:37,291 --> 00:21:40,249 BECAUSE THEY ARE THE THINGS THAT HAVE STUCK TO THE WALL. 460 00:21:40,250 --> 00:21:43,457 OUR GREATEST ARROGANCE IS TO BELIEVE THAT WE ARE ALL SPECIAL, 461 00:21:43,458 --> 00:21:44,749 BECAUSE THE TRUTH IS, 462 00:21:44,750 --> 00:21:48,166 WE ARE ALL UNBELIEVABLY THE SAME. 463 00:21:48,167 --> 00:21:50,582 WATCHING THIS MAN ENTERTAIN HIS STUDENTS, 464 00:21:50,583 --> 00:21:53,541 BE SWEET AND INSIGHTFUL AND TOUCHING, 465 00:21:53,542 --> 00:21:56,082 I WAS STRUCK WITH ONE QUESTION... 466 00:21:56,083 --> 00:21:57,707 WHO WAS THIS GUY, 467 00:21:57,708 --> 00:22:00,167 AND WHAT HAD HE DONE WITH MY FATHER? 468 00:22:01,834 --> 00:22:04,124 UH, EXCUSE ME, PROFESSOR LASS? 469 00:22:04,125 --> 00:22:05,834 HI. UM, SANDY? 470 00:22:06,083 --> 00:22:07,541 CHARLOTTE. 471 00:22:07,542 --> 00:22:08,999 WHY DO I EVEN TRY? 472 00:22:09,000 --> 00:22:12,624 UM, I JUST WANTED MY FRIEND TO MEET YOU. 473 00:22:12,625 --> 00:22:14,582 I LOVE YOUR CLASS. 474 00:22:14,583 --> 00:22:16,042 THANK YOU. HI. 475 00:22:16,250 --> 00:22:17,999 HI. 476 00:22:18,000 --> 00:22:19,560 I'M TEACHING THE COMEDIES NEXT SEMESTER. 477 00:22:19,584 --> 00:22:21,542 IT'S A LITTLE LIGHTER FARE, YOU KNOW? 478 00:22:22,000 --> 00:22:25,083 I LOVED THAT POEM. 479 00:22:25,084 --> 00:22:28,250 IT WAS REAL HELPFUL, ESPECIALLY THE PART ABOUT NOT BEING ALONE. 480 00:22:30,667 --> 00:22:34,290 AND THAT'S WHEN I KNEW I HAD NEVER MET CLANCY LASS BEFORE. 481 00:22:34,291 --> 00:22:37,209 I DON'T KNOW IF ANYONE IN MY FAMILY HAD. 482 00:22:39,083 --> 00:22:41,166 I BROUGHT HOME A STRAY CAT ONCE... 483 00:22:42,959 --> 00:22:45,040 YOU KNOW, YOU'RE NOT A BABY, GEORGIA. 484 00:22:45,041 --> 00:22:48,124 I THINK THAT YOU'RE OLD ENOUGH TO SEE OUR SIDE OF THIS. 485 00:22:48,125 --> 00:22:50,525 WE'RE GOING TO HAVE TO TAKE HIM TO AN ANIMAL SHELTER, SWEETIE. 486 00:22:50,549 --> 00:22:51,499 THEY'LL KILL HIM! 487 00:22:51,500 --> 00:22:52,707 THEY WON'T KILL HIM. 488 00:22:52,708 --> 00:22:54,499 NO, THEY'RE GOING TO FIND SOME NICE FAMILY 489 00:22:54,500 --> 00:22:55,749 THAT CAN TAKE CARE OF HIM. 490 00:22:55,750 --> 00:22:58,041 I DON'T WANT HIM TO END UP WITH SOME NICE FAMILY. 491 00:22:58,042 --> 00:22:59,290 I WANT HIM IN THIS FAMILY. 492 00:22:59,291 --> 00:23:01,666 LOOK, THERE IS A BABY IN THE HOUSE NOW. 493 00:23:01,667 --> 00:23:04,083 IT'S NOT A DEBATE. I'VE MADE UP MY MIND. 494 00:23:04,084 --> 00:23:06,374 THIS SUCKS! YOU JUST DO WHAT YOU WANT. 495 00:23:06,375 --> 00:23:08,124 GEORGIA... YOU'RE THE WORST DAD EVER! 496 00:23:08,125 --> 00:23:09,750 GO TO YOUR ROOM. 497 00:23:10,750 --> 00:23:12,749 I WANTED A KITTY CAT, 498 00:23:12,750 --> 00:23:14,750 AND I GOT A LITTLE SISTER INSTEAD... 499 00:23:16,041 --> 00:23:17,791 AND AS SIMPLE AS THAT, 500 00:23:17,792 --> 00:23:20,999 THAT WAS THE END OF SOMETHING BETWEEN ME AND MY DAD. 501 00:23:21,000 --> 00:23:24,041 I STARTED SLEEPING IN ON SUNDAY MORNINGS. 502 00:23:24,042 --> 00:23:27,207 IT NEVER OCCURRED TO ME THAT HE HADN'T CHANGED, 503 00:23:27,208 --> 00:23:29,541 THAT IT WAS MY FAULT. 504 00:23:29,542 --> 00:23:32,124 I'D JUST BECOME A TEENAGER. 505 00:23:32,125 --> 00:23:35,375 I WONDER IF HE HAD A COKE FOR BREAKFAST WHEN I WASN'T THERE. 506 00:23:55,125 --> 00:23:57,041 OH, SHIT. 507 00:23:57,042 --> 00:23:58,916 I KNEW YOU'D COME BACK. 508 00:23:58,917 --> 00:24:00,165 I HAVE TO GIVE YOU A TICKET. 509 00:24:00,166 --> 00:24:02,083 THANK YOU. 510 00:24:02,084 --> 00:24:04,999 I WROTE YOU SOMETHING TOO. 511 00:24:05,000 --> 00:24:09,332 I REALIZED THAT WHEN YOU DID THE THING THAT YOU DID, 512 00:24:09,333 --> 00:24:11,573 YOU KNOW, THAT THERE WERE NO WORDS IN THE ENGLISH LANGUAGE 513 00:24:11,597 --> 00:24:13,707 TO DESCRIBE IT, SO I CAME UP WITH SOME WORDS 514 00:24:13,708 --> 00:24:16,291 THAT WOULD HELP OTHER PEOPLE UNDERSTAND. 515 00:24:18,125 --> 00:24:21,083 "HAGGLEBLASS," THE ARGUMENT WITH GOD. 516 00:24:21,084 --> 00:24:22,792 THAT'S WHAT HAPPENED BETWEEN YOU AND ME. 517 00:24:23,166 --> 00:24:24,374 "STUBBLERUD." 518 00:24:24,375 --> 00:24:25,624 THE MOMENT IN THE HAGGLEBLASS 519 00:24:25,625 --> 00:24:27,083 WHEN THERE'S NO TURNING BACK. 520 00:24:27,084 --> 00:24:30,208 THAT'S WHEN THE HUMAN NEEDS TO BE TAUGHT A LESSON, 521 00:24:30,209 --> 00:24:31,666 RIGHT, AND... HANG ON. HANG ON, SIR. 522 00:24:31,667 --> 00:24:33,916 NO, DON'T CALL ME "SIR." DON'T CALL ME "SIR." 523 00:24:33,917 --> 00:24:36,040 I AM NOTHING BUT A "WHISPONAUGHT," 524 00:24:36,041 --> 00:24:38,458 AN UNWORTHY ONE IN YOUR PRESENCE. 525 00:24:39,625 --> 00:24:40,834 JESUS. 526 00:24:42,000 --> 00:24:43,165 ARE YOU JESUS? 527 00:24:43,166 --> 00:24:44,792 NO, I'M NOT JESUS. 528 00:24:45,625 --> 00:24:47,125 WHAT'S YOUR NAME, ANYWAY? 529 00:24:48,458 --> 00:24:52,124 BEFORE THE HAGGLEBLASS, UH, THEY CALLED ME "CHUCK." 530 00:24:52,125 --> 00:24:53,916 OKAY, CHUCK. 531 00:24:53,917 --> 00:24:58,124 NOW, I THINK WHAT HAPPENED TO YOU BEFORE 532 00:24:58,125 --> 00:25:00,833 WAS SOMETHING YOU IMAGINED. 533 00:25:00,834 --> 00:25:03,541 MAYBE YOU HAD A STROKE OR SOMETHING. 534 00:25:03,542 --> 00:25:06,041 WHEN YOU SEPARATED MY SOUL FROM MY BODY... 535 00:25:06,042 --> 00:25:07,208 THAT DIDN'T HAPPEN. 536 00:25:11,834 --> 00:25:14,208 YOU CURED ME OF ALL MY ANGER. 537 00:25:14,209 --> 00:25:15,833 IN ONE MOMENT, 538 00:25:15,834 --> 00:25:17,165 YOU GAVE ME ALL THE ANSWERS. 539 00:25:17,166 --> 00:25:19,541 NOTHING HAPPENED. 540 00:25:19,542 --> 00:25:21,250 EVERYTHING HAPPENED. 541 00:25:23,041 --> 00:25:24,500 EVERYTHING. 542 00:25:27,166 --> 00:25:28,458 DAMN. 543 00:25:30,000 --> 00:25:31,500 EVERYTHING. 544 00:25:49,875 --> 00:25:51,124 HELLO, GEORGIE. 545 00:25:51,125 --> 00:25:52,416 I DON'T KNOW WHERE SHE IS. 546 00:25:52,417 --> 00:25:53,541 GIVE ME HER NUMBER. 547 00:25:53,542 --> 00:25:55,332 SHE'S NOT INTERESTED IN YOU. 548 00:25:55,333 --> 00:25:57,693 IF SHE WERE INTERESTED IN YOU, SHE WOULD HAVE MENTIONED YOU. 549 00:25:58,500 --> 00:25:59,916 SHE DIDN'T MENTION YOU. 550 00:25:59,917 --> 00:26:01,457 ASK HER ABOUT ME. 551 00:26:01,458 --> 00:26:02,749 NO, DON'T ASK HER ABOUT ME, 552 00:26:02,750 --> 00:26:04,310 BECAUSE YOU'LL TELL HER THINGS ABOUT ME. 553 00:26:04,311 --> 00:26:05,391 YOU'LL STRESS THE NEGATIVES. 554 00:26:05,415 --> 00:26:07,541 ASK HER ABOUT ME, GEORGIE? 555 00:26:07,542 --> 00:26:09,040 I'LL ASK HER ABOUT YOU. 556 00:26:09,041 --> 00:26:11,040 WHAT, WITH THAT... EXPRESSION ON YOUR FACE? 557 00:26:11,041 --> 00:26:12,125 WELL, FUCK IT! 558 00:26:13,625 --> 00:26:14,959 FUCK YOU. 559 00:26:17,000 --> 00:26:19,320 I'LL SHOW YOU BOTH. WE'LL BE LIKE ROMEO AND JULIET, WE WILL. 560 00:26:20,084 --> 00:26:22,749 YOU DO KNOW HOW THAT STORY ENDED, DON'T YOU? 561 00:26:22,750 --> 00:26:24,332 IF ROMEO HAD JUST MASTURBATED 562 00:26:24,333 --> 00:26:26,041 A COUPLE OF TIMES A WEEK, 563 00:26:26,042 --> 00:26:28,958 HE WOULD HAVE SAVED BOTH THOSE NICE FAMILIES A HEAP OF TROUBLE. 564 00:26:28,959 --> 00:26:30,707 HEY. 565 00:26:30,708 --> 00:26:33,749 CHARLOTTE! UM, WHAT TIME IS IT? 566 00:26:33,750 --> 00:26:35,707 YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO MEET ME OUT FRONT. 567 00:26:35,708 --> 00:26:37,291 I'M EARLY. I KNOW. 568 00:26:39,041 --> 00:26:40,499 DAISY ADAIR. 569 00:26:40,500 --> 00:26:41,666 I'VE HEARD SO MUCH ABOUT YOU, 570 00:26:41,667 --> 00:26:43,041 I FEEL I KNOW YOU ALREADY. 571 00:26:44,084 --> 00:26:46,917 AND YOU KNOW MASON. 572 00:26:48,084 --> 00:26:49,999 OF COURSE. MY HERO. 573 00:26:50,000 --> 00:26:51,834 WELL, WE'D BETTER BE GOING. 574 00:26:54,250 --> 00:26:56,040 UH. HI. 575 00:26:56,041 --> 00:26:57,250 HELLO. 576 00:26:58,166 --> 00:27:00,666 THIS IS MY FRIEND, CHARLOTTE. 577 00:27:00,667 --> 00:27:03,208 CHARLOTTE, THIS IS MY... 578 00:27:03,209 --> 00:27:05,542 STEPDAD AND HIS WIFE. 579 00:27:06,708 --> 00:27:08,207 WE REALLY HAVE TO GO. 580 00:27:08,208 --> 00:27:10,124 NICE TO MEET YOU, CHARLOTTE. HONEY... 581 00:27:10,125 --> 00:27:11,332 HUH? 582 00:27:11,333 --> 00:27:13,290 CAN YOU RUN AN ERRAND FOR ME, SWEETHEART? 583 00:27:13,291 --> 00:27:16,040 IT'S JUST A FEW BLOCKS AWAY. 584 00:27:16,041 --> 00:27:17,542 DO IT FOR YOUR STEPDAD? 585 00:27:21,250 --> 00:27:22,792 SURE. NO PROBLEM. 586 00:27:23,625 --> 00:27:24,959 YOU MIGHT WANT TO HURRY. 587 00:27:32,417 --> 00:27:35,291 OH, MY GOD. DID YOU SEE THAT? 588 00:27:35,792 --> 00:27:36,959 YEAH. 589 00:27:42,500 --> 00:27:46,959 NOW, THAT LOOKS A LITTLE MORE INTERESTING. 590 00:27:50,166 --> 00:27:53,916 AND NOW, FOR HIS NEXT TRICK, 591 00:27:53,917 --> 00:27:56,625 THE GREAT ETIENNE WILL JUGGLE... 592 00:27:57,792 --> 00:27:59,084 KNIVES. 593 00:28:02,125 --> 00:28:03,916 THIS IS THE ERRAND WE'RE RUNNING? 594 00:28:03,917 --> 00:28:05,207 I THINK IT IS. 595 00:28:05,208 --> 00:28:07,541 YOUR STEPDAD NEEDS A JUGGLER? 596 00:28:07,542 --> 00:28:09,582 HE'S THROWING A BIRTHDAY PARTY FOR HIS WIFE. 597 00:28:09,583 --> 00:28:11,207 HE NEEDS, YOU KNOW, ENTERTAINMENT. 598 00:28:11,208 --> 00:28:15,083 THAT IS SO AWESOME. GIVE ME A DOLLAR. 599 00:28:15,084 --> 00:28:17,416 EDDIE DIENES, DO NOT GIVE THAT MAN MONEY. 600 00:28:17,417 --> 00:28:19,625 YOU'RE ENCOURAGING STUPIDITY. 601 00:28:21,291 --> 00:28:23,834 STUPID NEEDS TO MAKE A LIVING TOO! 602 00:28:26,708 --> 00:28:28,125 I'M SORRY. 603 00:28:29,834 --> 00:28:31,791 UH, DO YOU KNOW THAT GUY'S NAME? 604 00:28:31,792 --> 00:28:33,416 UH, I DON'T KNOW. 605 00:28:33,417 --> 00:28:35,166 IT'S SOMETHING FRENCH OR EQUALLY FUCKED UP. 606 00:28:39,500 --> 00:28:41,916 LET'S GO GET SOME LUNCH. 607 00:28:41,917 --> 00:28:44,958 WHAT ABOUT THE JUGGLER? YOUR STEPDAD'S PARTY? 608 00:28:44,959 --> 00:28:46,332 TOO DANGEROUS. 609 00:28:46,333 --> 00:28:48,124 I DON'T WANT TO SEE ANYONE DIE. 610 00:28:48,125 --> 00:28:49,291 WHAT'S WRONG? 611 00:28:51,750 --> 00:28:54,083 JUGGLERS JUST FREAK ME OUT. 612 00:29:12,542 --> 00:29:13,917 WATCH OUT, DUDE. 613 00:29:19,000 --> 00:29:20,000 WHOA! 614 00:29:20,001 --> 00:29:21,165 NO. 615 00:29:21,166 --> 00:29:23,166 OH, MY GOD. WHAT WAS THAT? 616 00:29:23,167 --> 00:29:24,583 I HAVE NO IDEA. 617 00:29:27,750 --> 00:29:29,083 I DIDN'T KNOW YOU SMOKED A PIPE. 618 00:29:29,084 --> 00:29:30,917 YOU NEED TO FIX THIS. 619 00:29:31,834 --> 00:29:33,624 HE PUT HIS HANDS ON ME. 620 00:29:33,625 --> 00:29:36,083 LAST TIME I CHECKED, BEING PISSED OFF WASN'T ENOUGH OF A REASON 621 00:29:36,084 --> 00:29:38,457 TO REMOVE A PERSON'S SOUL FROM THEIR BODY. 622 00:29:38,458 --> 00:29:40,124 DON'T DO THAT AGAIN. 623 00:29:40,125 --> 00:29:41,916 I DIDN'T KNOW HE'D TURN INTO A NUT BALL. 624 00:29:41,917 --> 00:29:43,916 WELL, HOW WOULD YOU HAVE RESPONDED, ROXY? 625 00:29:43,917 --> 00:29:45,332 GOD APPEARED TO THE MAN. 626 00:29:45,333 --> 00:29:47,541 I WOULDN'T BE MAKING UP WORDS AND SHIT. 627 00:29:47,542 --> 00:29:49,823 WELL, HE'S CREATING A MYTHOLOGY TO TAKE BACK TO HIS PEOPLE. 628 00:29:51,167 --> 00:29:52,967 JOSEPH SMITH HAD THE SAME THING HAPPEN TO HIM, 629 00:29:52,968 --> 00:29:55,301 AND NOW THE MORMONS HAVE A MONOPOLY ON THE HOTEL INDUSTRY. 630 00:29:55,302 --> 00:29:56,374 THIS IS NOTHING. 631 00:29:56,375 --> 00:29:57,541 A HUNDRED YEARS FROM NOW, PEOPLE WILL HAVE 632 00:29:57,542 --> 00:29:59,083 PLASTIC METER MAIDS WITH BOBBING HEADS 633 00:29:59,084 --> 00:30:00,524 HANGING FROM THEIR REAR-VIEW MIRRORS. 634 00:30:00,548 --> 00:30:01,958 WELL, WHAT DO YOU WANT ME TO DO? 635 00:30:01,959 --> 00:30:03,999 IT'S ABOUT RESTORING THE STATUS QUO. 636 00:30:04,000 --> 00:30:05,680 THE GUY WASN'T SUPPOSED TO GET ENLIGHTENED. 637 00:30:05,704 --> 00:30:08,124 HE WAS SUPPOSED TO GET A PARKING TICKET. 638 00:30:08,125 --> 00:30:09,725 YOU'VE GOT TO TURN HIM BACK INTO A PRICK. 639 00:30:13,042 --> 00:30:14,482 IF YOU EVER TAKE SOMEONE'S SOUL AGAIN 640 00:30:14,506 --> 00:30:16,082 WITHOUT FIRST HAVING A POST-IT, 641 00:30:16,083 --> 00:30:17,843 I'M GOING TO BREAK THIS PIPE OFF IN YOUR ASS. 642 00:30:21,250 --> 00:30:23,874 YOU'RE RIGHT. THEY DO LOOK LIKE CHICKENS. 643 00:30:23,875 --> 00:30:25,708 SOMEHOW YOU JUST CAN'T SEE IT RIGHTSIDE-UP. 644 00:30:37,208 --> 00:30:38,499 DO YOU THINK HE LOOKS SAD? 645 00:30:38,500 --> 00:30:39,583 WHO? 646 00:30:41,750 --> 00:30:43,166 PROFESSOR LASS. 647 00:30:44,667 --> 00:30:46,000 I DON'T KNOW. 648 00:30:47,167 --> 00:30:48,250 I GUESS NOT, HUH? 649 00:30:50,667 --> 00:30:53,042 WELL, YOU DO KNOW HIS STORY, RIGHT? 650 00:30:53,875 --> 00:30:55,083 WHAT STORY? 651 00:30:56,750 --> 00:30:58,166 HIS DAUGHTER WAS THE GIRL 652 00:30:58,167 --> 00:31:01,208 THAT WAS KILLED BY THE FALLING TOILET SEAT. 653 00:31:01,209 --> 00:31:03,165 NO SHIT. THAT WAS HIS DAUGHTER? 654 00:31:03,166 --> 00:31:06,999 YEAH, AND I THINK HIS RELATIONSHIP WITH HIS WIFE 655 00:31:07,000 --> 00:31:09,167 IS, LIKE, TOTALLY FUCKED UP. 656 00:31:11,209 --> 00:31:12,417 HOW DO YOU KNOW ALL THIS? 657 00:31:14,083 --> 00:31:17,125 I DON'T KNOW. HE GIVES AWAY CLUES IN CLASS. 658 00:31:17,750 --> 00:31:19,416 PEOPLE TALK. 659 00:31:19,417 --> 00:31:21,250 DOES HE TALK ABOUT IT? 660 00:31:22,166 --> 00:31:23,959 HIS WIFE? HIS DAUGHTER. 661 00:31:24,542 --> 00:31:25,958 THE ONE THAT... 662 00:31:25,959 --> 00:31:27,332 HE DOESN'T REALLY SAY ANYTHING. 663 00:31:27,333 --> 00:31:30,041 I GUESS HE DOESN'T REALLY THINK ABOUT IT. 664 00:31:32,000 --> 00:31:34,000 NO, NO, IT'S THERE... 665 00:31:35,084 --> 00:31:37,250 IN HOW HE TALKS ABOUT THE POEMS. 666 00:31:39,000 --> 00:31:41,583 I DON'T KNOW, YOU CAN TELL HIS HEART... 667 00:31:43,042 --> 00:31:45,041 HE'S SUFFERED, YOU KNOW? 668 00:31:45,042 --> 00:31:48,207 IT'S SO STUPID, BUT I HAD THIS ONE SONNET FRAMED, 669 00:31:48,208 --> 00:31:49,749 AND I DON'T KNOW, 670 00:31:49,750 --> 00:31:50,999 I THOUGHT IT MIGHT HELP HIM. 671 00:31:51,000 --> 00:31:53,624 I NEVER GAVE IT TO HIM, THOUGH. 672 00:31:53,625 --> 00:31:55,125 WHAT WAS IT? 673 00:31:57,084 --> 00:31:59,750 I MEMORIZED IT. I KNOW. I'M SUCH A GEEK. 674 00:32:01,375 --> 00:32:03,583 "NO LONGER MOURN FOR ME WHEN I AM DEAD. 675 00:32:04,417 --> 00:32:06,041 "NAY, IF YOU READ THIS LINE, 676 00:32:06,042 --> 00:32:08,749 "REMEMBER NOT THE HAND THAT WRIT IT, 677 00:32:08,750 --> 00:32:10,084 "FOR I LOVE YOU SO 678 00:32:10,834 --> 00:32:12,165 "THAT IN YOUR SWEET THOUGHTS 679 00:32:12,166 --> 00:32:13,541 "I'D BE FORGOT, 680 00:32:13,542 --> 00:32:16,458 IF THINKING ON ME THEN SHOULD MAKE YOU WOE." 681 00:32:18,250 --> 00:32:20,250 YOU KNOW, MOVE ON. SHE'D WANT IT THAT WAY. 682 00:32:23,875 --> 00:32:25,250 I THINK THAT'S A MISTAKE. 683 00:32:26,834 --> 00:32:29,207 WELL, I JUST THOUGHT THAT MAYBE, YOU KNOW, 684 00:32:29,208 --> 00:32:31,374 IT WOULD GIVE HIM SOME COMFORT. 685 00:32:31,375 --> 00:32:32,935 I DON'T KNOW. HE SEEMS READY TO MOVE ON. 686 00:32:32,959 --> 00:32:33,833 I DON'T KNOW. 687 00:32:33,834 --> 00:32:36,541 THAT'S RIGHT. YOU DON'T KNOW. 688 00:32:36,542 --> 00:32:39,416 YOU KNOW, I DIDN'T REALIZE WHAT TIME IS IS. I'VE GOT TO GO. 689 00:32:39,417 --> 00:32:41,083 HEY, UM... 690 00:32:41,084 --> 00:32:42,582 CHARLOTTE HAD HURT ME, 691 00:32:42,583 --> 00:32:44,791 SO I TOLD HER I NEVER WANTED TO SEE HER AGAIN 692 00:32:44,792 --> 00:32:46,083 THE BEST WAY I KNOW HOW. 693 00:32:47,250 --> 00:32:48,875 I'LL CALL YOU. 694 00:32:52,041 --> 00:32:55,041 ONE OF THE FEW SILVER LININGS OF DYING 695 00:32:55,042 --> 00:32:57,833 IS WATCHING THE PEOPLE YOU LOVE REALLY LOSE THEIR SHIT 696 00:32:57,834 --> 00:33:00,582 BECAUSE THEY MISS YOU SO MUCH. 697 00:33:00,583 --> 00:33:02,834 I WAS HAVING A LITTLE TROUBLE SEEING IT HERE. 698 00:33:03,875 --> 00:33:05,582 I HAD TO WONDER. 699 00:33:05,583 --> 00:33:07,416 MAYBE THE REASON IT WAS SO EASY 700 00:33:07,417 --> 00:33:10,207 FOR MY DAD TO SAY GOODBYE TO ME TWO MONTHS AGO 701 00:33:10,208 --> 00:33:14,833 WAS THAT HE'D ALREADY SAID GOODBYE TO ME A LONG TIME BEFORE THAT. 702 00:33:14,834 --> 00:33:16,999 MOO-LOO, NU-LOO, VOO-ZOO. 703 00:33:17,000 --> 00:33:19,125 MAY-NAY, LAY-NAY, VAY-ZAY. 704 00:33:20,209 --> 00:33:21,999 MOO-LOO, NU-LOO, VOO-ZOO. 705 00:33:22,000 --> 00:33:25,749 MAY-NAY, LAY-NAY, VAY-ZAY. 706 00:33:25,750 --> 00:33:28,208 SOMEONE'S KNOCKING AT THE DOOR. MOO-LOO, NU-LOO, VOO-ZOO. 707 00:33:28,209 --> 00:33:30,290 MAY-NAY, LAY-NAY, VAY-ZAY. 708 00:33:30,291 --> 00:33:31,583 MOO-NOO... 709 00:33:34,084 --> 00:33:35,724 I'M NOT GOING TO LET YOU BREAK UP WITH ME. 710 00:33:35,748 --> 00:33:37,082 MAY-LAY, MAY-LAY, VAY-ZAY... 711 00:33:37,083 --> 00:33:39,250 OKAY? I'M HERE TO APOLOGIZE. THIS IS FOR YOU. 712 00:33:40,875 --> 00:33:44,165 MAY-LAY, MAY-LAY, VAY-ZAY. 713 00:33:44,166 --> 00:33:47,417 YOU DIDN'T DO ANYTHING WRONG, CHARLOTTE. 714 00:33:48,834 --> 00:33:51,041 I'M JUST... SCREWED UP. 715 00:33:52,750 --> 00:33:55,165 LOOK, THIS IS THE PART IN OUR FRIENDSHIP 716 00:33:55,166 --> 00:33:58,165 WHERE WE START TO ADMIT THAT WE'RE NOT PERFECT. 717 00:33:58,166 --> 00:34:00,208 MOO-LOO, NU-LOO, VOO-ZOO. 718 00:34:01,959 --> 00:34:03,792 WHAT IS THAT NOISE? 719 00:34:04,834 --> 00:34:06,167 CUTE TOP. 720 00:34:08,959 --> 00:34:12,041 SO, UM, DO YOU WANT TO GO DO SOMETHING? 721 00:34:12,042 --> 00:34:13,833 MOO-LOO, NU-LOO, VOO-ZOO. 722 00:34:13,834 --> 00:34:14,999 SURE. 723 00:34:15,000 --> 00:34:17,250 MAY-LAY, NAY-LAY, VAY-ZAY. 724 00:34:18,208 --> 00:34:19,332 NO. 725 00:34:19,333 --> 00:34:22,040 I WAS... I WAS PASSING BY. 726 00:34:22,041 --> 00:34:24,166 I'M... I'M GOING TO GO OUT FOR THE EVENING, 727 00:34:24,167 --> 00:34:26,541 AND I THOUGHT I'D STOP BY 728 00:34:26,542 --> 00:34:28,207 AND SEE SOME OLD FRIENDS. 729 00:34:28,208 --> 00:34:30,500 MASON... YOU LOOK STUNNING. 730 00:34:31,750 --> 00:34:33,582 WAIT, WAIT. I'M GETTING THE IMAGE 731 00:34:33,583 --> 00:34:35,916 OF A NAKED JEHOVAH'S WITNESS 732 00:34:35,917 --> 00:34:38,125 BLEEDING BY A DUMPSTER SOMEWHERE. 733 00:34:38,959 --> 00:34:41,041 OH, CHARLOTTE. YEAH, OH. 734 00:34:41,042 --> 00:34:42,999 WHAT A PLEASANT SURPRISE. 735 00:34:43,000 --> 00:34:44,208 HELLO, MASON. 736 00:34:44,209 --> 00:34:45,374 WE'RE GOING OUT. 737 00:34:45,375 --> 00:34:46,666 REALLY? 738 00:34:46,667 --> 00:34:48,290 I... I WOULD LOVE TO JOIN YOU. 739 00:34:48,291 --> 00:34:50,082 WELL, IT'S GIRLS NIGHT OUT. 740 00:34:50,083 --> 00:34:52,833 WE'RE GOING OUT TO LESBIAN BARS TO DRINK JACK DANIELS 741 00:34:52,834 --> 00:34:54,291 AND MAKE OUT WITH BIG WOMEN. 742 00:34:55,291 --> 00:34:56,583 YOU CAN'T COME. UM... 743 00:34:57,667 --> 00:34:58,959 UH, BYE. 744 00:35:01,084 --> 00:35:02,209 OH... 745 00:35:03,083 --> 00:35:04,750 OH, GIVE IT UP. 746 00:35:07,084 --> 00:35:08,416 I LIKE HER. 747 00:35:08,417 --> 00:35:10,166 SWEETIE... 748 00:35:10,167 --> 00:35:13,082 THAT YOUNG WOMAN IS GOING TO GIVE HER HEART TO A NICE YOUNG MAN 749 00:35:13,083 --> 00:35:15,999 WHO HAS READING GLASSES AND A TWEED JACKET 750 00:35:16,000 --> 00:35:17,374 AND WHO HAS NEVER DONE BLOW 751 00:35:17,375 --> 00:35:18,834 OFF THE BELLY OF A DEAD PROSTITUTE. 752 00:35:20,917 --> 00:35:22,124 I LIKE HER. 753 00:35:22,125 --> 00:35:23,375 I KNOW. 754 00:35:24,959 --> 00:35:26,750 SHE DOESN'T LIKE YOU. 755 00:35:33,542 --> 00:35:35,750 I CAN'T BELIEVE I WAS CARDED. 756 00:35:38,667 --> 00:35:40,042 YOU KNOW, 757 00:35:41,041 --> 00:35:42,917 YOU DO LOOK LIKE YOU'RE TEN YEARS OLD. 758 00:35:43,625 --> 00:35:46,041 SHUT UP. I LOOK AT LEAST 14. 759 00:35:46,042 --> 00:35:48,291 AND THE GIGGLING DIDN'T HELP MUCH. 760 00:35:50,291 --> 00:35:52,457 I'M SORRY I FREAKED OUT ON YOU TODAY. 761 00:35:52,458 --> 00:35:54,332 YOU KNOW, I WAS ACTUALLY THINKING ABOUT THAT. 762 00:35:54,333 --> 00:35:57,291 UM, I SHOULDN'T GIVE PROFESSOR LASS THE POEM. 763 00:35:57,875 --> 00:35:59,332 I DON'T KNOW. 764 00:35:59,333 --> 00:36:01,791 MAYBE IT'S NOT SO CRAZY AFTER ALL. 765 00:36:01,792 --> 00:36:04,458 IT DOESN'T MEAN ANYTHING COMING FROM ME. 766 00:36:06,000 --> 00:36:09,124 I HAVE NEVER LOST ANYTHING MY WHOLE LIFE. 767 00:36:09,125 --> 00:36:12,999 I'VE HAD THIS COMPLETELY SHALLOW, SAFE EXISTENCE. 768 00:36:13,000 --> 00:36:14,083 WELL, DON'T KNOCK IT. 769 00:36:14,708 --> 00:36:16,084 I'M A VIRGIN. 770 00:36:17,417 --> 00:36:20,084 YEAH, I'M IN COLLEGE, AND I'M A VIRGIN. 771 00:36:20,208 --> 00:36:21,791 LOSER. 772 00:36:21,792 --> 00:36:23,499 UH... YOU TOO? 773 00:36:23,500 --> 00:36:25,542 WELL, IT DEPENDS ON YOUR DEFINITION. 774 00:36:26,333 --> 00:36:28,125 UM, EVER BEEN LAID? 775 00:36:29,500 --> 00:36:32,082 THEN, YES, TECHNICALLY, I AM A VIRGIN. 776 00:36:32,083 --> 00:36:33,750 AH-HA. THANK YOU. 777 00:36:38,875 --> 00:36:40,916 LOOK, I KNOW YOU'VE BEEN THROUGH STUFF. 778 00:36:40,917 --> 00:36:43,416 I DON'T KNOW, I CAN JUST SENSE IT. 779 00:36:43,417 --> 00:36:45,541 YOU KNOW, YOU KIND OF REMIND ME OF HIM, 780 00:36:45,542 --> 00:36:50,917 THE WAY HE TALKS ABOUT LOVE... AND LOSS. 781 00:36:52,333 --> 00:36:54,000 OH, HIS EYES... 782 00:36:55,166 --> 00:36:56,916 YOU KNOW, I'M JUST GOING TO GIVE IT TO HIM. 783 00:36:56,917 --> 00:36:58,197 I'M GOING TO GIVE HIM THE SONNET. 784 00:36:58,583 --> 00:37:00,458 ALL RIGHT, CHEERS. 785 00:37:40,084 --> 00:37:41,457 I HAD YOUR CAR TOWED. 786 00:37:41,458 --> 00:37:44,416 IT'S GOING TO COST YOU $375 TO GET IT BACK, 787 00:37:44,417 --> 00:37:46,332 PLUS ALL THE TICKETS, 788 00:37:46,333 --> 00:37:48,000 AND THEY BUSTED YOUR DOOR TRYING TO GET IN, 789 00:37:49,167 --> 00:37:51,042 SO YOU COULD KISS YOUR CAR RADIO GOODBYE. 790 00:37:53,291 --> 00:37:55,209 YOU'RE A VENGEFUL GOD. 791 00:37:56,375 --> 00:37:58,165 I CAN APPRECIATE 792 00:37:58,166 --> 00:38:02,000 THAT YOU THINK YOU HAD SOME KIND OF REVELATION, 793 00:38:03,625 --> 00:38:06,416 BUT I AM JUST A METER MAID, 794 00:38:06,417 --> 00:38:08,542 AND YOU ARE JUST A DUMB-ASS REDNECK. 795 00:38:10,167 --> 00:38:11,457 THAT'S WHO WE ARE, 796 00:38:11,458 --> 00:38:13,290 SO WE CAN FORGET ALL THIS BULLSHIT 797 00:38:13,291 --> 00:38:15,165 AND JUST GET ON WITH IT. 798 00:38:15,166 --> 00:38:16,417 WHO IS THIS? 799 00:38:17,167 --> 00:38:18,542 THIS IS JASON. 800 00:38:19,375 --> 00:38:21,707 I TOLD JASON ABOUT THE HAGGLEBLASS, 801 00:38:21,708 --> 00:38:25,167 AND HE'S BEGUN HIS CONVERSION. HAVEN'T YOU, BUDDY? 802 00:38:26,917 --> 00:38:29,041 CAN YOU GIVE US A MINUTE, JASON? 803 00:38:30,917 --> 00:38:32,917 GO ON. FUCK OFF, OKAY? 804 00:38:35,291 --> 00:38:37,333 I KNOW YOU DO THIS JUST TO MAKE ME STRONGER. 805 00:38:38,000 --> 00:38:39,249 I KNOW IT. 806 00:38:39,250 --> 00:38:43,083 CHUCKIE, I WANT YOU TO LISTEN TO ME, OKAY? 807 00:38:44,041 --> 00:38:46,332 GOD MADE A MISTAKE. 808 00:38:46,333 --> 00:38:49,040 HE WANTS YOU TO GO BACK TO THE WAY YOU WERE. 809 00:38:49,041 --> 00:38:52,167 GOD WANTS YOU TO BE AN ASSHOLE, 810 00:38:53,250 --> 00:38:57,166 SO YOU CAN FORGET ALL THIS HAGGLEBLASSING, OKAY? 811 00:38:57,167 --> 00:39:00,083 HE WANTS YOU TO BE YOUR OLD JACKASS SELF AGAIN. 812 00:39:07,125 --> 00:39:08,457 OKAY, THIS IS A TEST. 813 00:39:08,458 --> 00:39:09,858 THERE'S NOTHING THAT YOU COULD DO... 814 00:39:09,882 --> 00:39:11,749 THERE'S NOTHING THAT YOU COULD DO 815 00:39:11,750 --> 00:39:13,207 TO MAKE ME GO BACK TO MY OLD SELF. 816 00:39:13,208 --> 00:39:14,749 THERE'S NOTHING. THERE'S NOTHING. 817 00:39:14,750 --> 00:39:15,917 NOTHING, NOTHING, NOTHING... 818 00:39:22,042 --> 00:39:23,042 NO! 819 00:39:28,000 --> 00:39:30,416 DAH! FUCK! 820 00:39:30,417 --> 00:39:31,875 THAT'S WHAT I'M TALKING ABOUT! 821 00:39:33,125 --> 00:39:35,082 WHAT'S MY NAME? FAT-ASS BITCH! 822 00:39:35,083 --> 00:39:36,541 THAT'S RIGHT. 823 00:39:36,542 --> 00:39:37,999 THAT'S WHO YOU ARE, BABY! 824 00:39:38,000 --> 00:39:40,041 THAT IS WHO YOU ARE! 825 00:39:40,042 --> 00:39:41,083 [RAGING] 826 00:39:42,333 --> 00:39:45,625 SO HERE I WAS, SITTING OPPOSITE MY FATHER, 827 00:39:46,458 --> 00:39:48,833 MY FRIEND ABOUT TO GIVE HIM A POEM 828 00:39:48,834 --> 00:39:51,290 ENCOURAGING HIM TO LET GO OF ME FOREVER, 829 00:39:51,291 --> 00:39:54,499 AND I THOUGHT THINGS WERE TWISTED ENOUGH WHEN I WAS ALIVE. 830 00:39:54,500 --> 00:39:56,834 SO, I DIDN'T MEAN FOR THE MESSAGE TO BE SO DRAMATIC. 831 00:39:57,417 --> 00:39:58,958 I LIKE DRAMA. 832 00:39:58,959 --> 00:40:02,707 I HOPE WE'RE NOT PULLING YOU AWAY FROM YOUR FAMILY. THAT'S OKAY. 833 00:40:02,708 --> 00:40:04,000 WHAT DID YOU WANT TO TALK ABOUT? 834 00:40:05,625 --> 00:40:08,082 CHARLOTTE WANTED TO GIVE HIM A POEM, 835 00:40:08,083 --> 00:40:11,791 AND I WANTED TO ASK HIM ABOUT HIS OLDEST DAUGHTER. 836 00:40:11,792 --> 00:40:13,999 I WANTED TO KNOW IF HE THOUGHT ABOUT ME. 837 00:40:14,000 --> 00:40:16,583 SO, THE COMEDIES NEXT SEMESTER? 838 00:40:18,041 --> 00:40:20,083 FUN, HUH? 839 00:40:20,084 --> 00:40:22,582 UH, WE JUST WANTED TO TAKE YOU OUT TO LUNCH. 840 00:40:22,583 --> 00:40:24,499 UM, WHAT YOU SAY IN YOUR CLASS, 841 00:40:24,500 --> 00:40:26,207 IT REALLY MAKES US THINK ABOUT STUFF, 842 00:40:26,208 --> 00:40:28,209 AND WE JUST WANTED TO SAY THANK YOU. 843 00:40:29,208 --> 00:40:31,249 CHARLOTTE WAS CHICKENING OUT. 844 00:40:31,250 --> 00:40:33,082 I SHOULD HAVE TOO... 845 00:40:33,083 --> 00:40:34,999 BUT I WAS THE ONLY DEAD GIRL I KNEW 846 00:40:35,000 --> 00:40:37,040 WHO COULD GET AN ANSWER. 847 00:40:37,041 --> 00:40:38,458 SO, DO YOU MISS YOUR DAUGHTER? 848 00:40:46,041 --> 00:40:50,874 YOU KNOW, I THINK THE POETS DO THE WORLD A FAVOR 849 00:40:50,875 --> 00:40:52,625 BY TURNING THEMSELVES INSIDE OUT. 850 00:40:54,084 --> 00:40:56,124 I TEACH POETRY. THAT'S CLOSE ENOUGH. 851 00:40:56,125 --> 00:40:58,249 YOU DON'T HAVE TO... 852 00:40:58,250 --> 00:41:02,417 WHEN SHE WAS YOUNGER, WE HAD BEEN VERY CLOSE. 853 00:41:04,291 --> 00:41:08,166 I THOUGHT IT WAS THIS BOND THAT COULD NEVER BE BROKEN, 854 00:41:08,167 --> 00:41:11,000 BUT IT WAS, ALMOST EFFORTLESSLY. 855 00:41:12,875 --> 00:41:14,749 I KNEW THAT SHE HAD TO GROW, 856 00:41:14,750 --> 00:41:16,125 AND GROW APART FROM ME... 857 00:41:17,625 --> 00:41:21,207 I HAD FAITH THAT IF I JUST DIDN'T MEDDLE, 858 00:41:21,208 --> 00:41:23,959 IF I LET HER FLY AWAY, 859 00:41:25,000 --> 00:41:27,417 EVENTUALLY SHE WOULD COME BACK TO ME. 860 00:41:30,792 --> 00:41:33,291 I... I DIDN'T KNOW THAT WAS ALL THE TIME WE'D HAVE. 861 00:41:38,458 --> 00:41:41,834 SHIT. GOD, I AM SORRY. 862 00:41:42,250 --> 00:41:43,959 OKAY, HANG ON. 863 00:41:48,291 --> 00:41:50,084 CAN I GET A TOWEL OR SOMETHING? 864 00:42:01,125 --> 00:42:03,416 AND THAT'S HOW MY DAD MOVED ON... 865 00:42:03,417 --> 00:42:06,042 WITH A LITTLE HELP FROM HIS FRIENDS. 866 00:42:15,500 --> 00:42:17,208 MY DAD WAS RIGHT. 867 00:42:17,209 --> 00:42:20,208 HUMAN BEINGS ARE SIMPLE, PREDICTABLE CLICHES... 868 00:42:23,166 --> 00:42:26,124 BROKEN HEARTS. BETRAYAL. 869 00:42:26,125 --> 00:42:28,333 IT'S ALL BEEN DONE A BILLION TIMES BEFORE. 870 00:42:30,125 --> 00:42:31,791 THE PROBLEM IS 871 00:42:31,792 --> 00:42:33,792 EVERY TIME STILL HURTS LIKE THE FIRST... 872 00:42:39,708 --> 00:42:42,290 AND IF YOU'RE LUCKY ENOUGH TO RECOVER, 873 00:42:42,291 --> 00:42:44,290 YOU CAN BE SURE THAT JUST AS YOU FINISH 874 00:42:44,291 --> 00:42:47,082 FILLING IN ALL THE CRACKS IN YOUR LIFE, 875 00:42:47,083 --> 00:42:49,542 THE NEXT ONE IS STARTING TO OPEN.