1 00:00:00,010 --> 00:00:02,550 Do not underestimate what I'll do to get this job. 2 00:00:02,600 --> 00:00:05,070 There are four of us, and, erm, Chambers are only going to 3 00:00:05,120 --> 00:00:06,110 give us one place. 4 00:00:06,160 --> 00:00:07,830 It's a real privilege getting to learn from the Head of Chambers. 5 00:00:07,880 --> 00:00:09,270 The YouTube Paedo Nazi? 6 00:00:09,320 --> 00:00:12,870 - He's doing that? - I have to shadow him on that case. 7 00:00:12,920 --> 00:00:14,550 Liam and Pia have been getting all the good work. 8 00:00:14,600 --> 00:00:17,510 Will. You're the one who boinked the juror. 9 00:00:17,560 --> 00:00:19,310 Are you asking me to do the YouTube Paedo Nazi? 10 00:00:19,360 --> 00:00:21,110 Oh, I thought it might be fun to work on together. 11 00:00:21,160 --> 00:00:22,230 If I take the case, 12 00:00:22,280 --> 00:00:24,430 it's a bit like I'm sort of confirming for everyone 13 00:00:24,480 --> 00:00:25,470 that I am the guy 14 00:00:25,520 --> 00:00:27,550 - who cheats on his girlfriend. - You are that guy. 15 00:00:27,600 --> 00:00:29,830 You think I'm giving you work because you bounced on some juror? 16 00:00:29,880 --> 00:00:31,030 - Erm... - Right! 17 00:00:31,080 --> 00:00:33,400 I'll see if the odd blonde girl wants it. 18 00:00:40,120 --> 00:00:41,880 It's a tricky one! 19 00:00:43,200 --> 00:00:47,390 I mean, look at her. She aced the YouTube Paedo Nazi case, 20 00:00:47,440 --> 00:00:50,200 and now she's working for all the top guys in Chambers. 21 00:00:53,960 --> 00:00:55,070 Are you thinking what I'm thinking? 22 00:00:55,120 --> 00:00:56,720 Yep. I'm just thinking it better. 23 00:00:57,880 --> 00:00:59,550 - Pints. - Cheers. 24 00:00:59,600 --> 00:01:01,310 - No worries. - I'll get you back. 25 00:01:01,360 --> 00:01:03,830 Can't stay too long. Making dinner for my girlfriend. 26 00:01:03,880 --> 00:01:06,510 - Ooh! Which one? - Very funny, Liam. 27 00:01:06,560 --> 00:01:08,070 What you guys talking about? 28 00:01:08,120 --> 00:01:11,550 Taylor Swift over there. She's getting work we can only dream of. 29 00:01:11,600 --> 00:01:14,150 While we're stuck with all the crap jobs. 30 00:01:14,200 --> 00:01:17,590 I don't know -- Caroline's letting me draft a response to a hearsay application, 31 00:01:17,640 --> 00:01:19,950 so I guess that's a sign of her trust. 32 00:01:20,000 --> 00:01:23,950 I mean, it's good, but it's not the YouTube Paedo Nazi. 33 00:01:24,000 --> 00:01:25,870 This is like cycling. 34 00:01:25,920 --> 00:01:26,950 She's the outrider, 35 00:01:27,000 --> 00:01:28,950 we're the crowd behind. The question is 36 00:01:29,000 --> 00:01:30,790 do we hang out here sniffing each other's arse fumes, 37 00:01:30,840 --> 00:01:34,110 or do we work together, hunt her down, crush her? 38 00:01:34,160 --> 00:01:37,590 Crush Pia? All she does is work and babble. 39 00:01:37,640 --> 00:01:39,230 That's like ganging up on WALL-E. 40 00:01:39,280 --> 00:01:41,670 - I hate WALL-E. - Robot twat. 41 00:01:41,720 --> 00:01:43,150 OK... 42 00:01:43,200 --> 00:01:44,230 Are you in or out? 43 00:01:44,280 --> 00:01:45,870 I'm Premier Inn. 44 00:01:45,920 --> 00:01:49,110 You guys scheme your evil schemes. Just don't get me involved. 45 00:01:49,160 --> 00:01:50,550 It's not my style. 46 00:01:50,600 --> 00:01:53,030 Cheated on your girlfriend. 47 00:01:53,080 --> 00:01:54,270 Still doing that. 48 00:01:54,320 --> 00:01:56,550 You guys have no idea what happened, 49 00:01:56,600 --> 00:01:58,270 - so... maybe give it a rest. - I just think 50 00:01:58,320 --> 00:02:01,230 it's important to remember that your shit doesn't smell of Skittles. 51 00:02:01,280 --> 00:02:03,550 Yeah. Your shit smells of shit. 52 00:02:03,600 --> 00:02:05,270 OK, you can have that pint. See you later. 53 00:02:05,320 --> 00:02:06,310 Oh, come on! 54 00:02:06,360 --> 00:02:08,270 You know what? Can I just tell you what actually happened, 55 00:02:08,320 --> 00:02:11,040 to put an end to all this? 56 00:02:12,720 --> 00:02:14,550 Selina and I kissed. 57 00:02:14,600 --> 00:02:16,590 And it wasn't like, "Oh, hi, nice to meet you. 58 00:02:16,640 --> 00:02:18,430 "I'm kissing you on the mouth. Whoops." 59 00:02:18,480 --> 00:02:20,510 It was like, "Whoa, this is real kiss. This is proper kiss. 60 00:02:20,560 --> 00:02:23,390 "This is mouth on mouth. Mouth town." 61 00:02:23,440 --> 00:02:24,470 Brilliant. 62 00:02:24,520 --> 00:02:26,470 And then suddenly she calls a taxi and we're in the back of the taxi 63 00:02:26,520 --> 00:02:29,150 and we're kissing some more. And the whole time, I'm thinking, 64 00:02:29,200 --> 00:02:31,750 "This is really fucked up, this is really fucked up, this is really fucked up," 65 00:02:31,800 --> 00:02:34,900 but I can't stop kissing her, because it feels fucking amazing. 66 00:02:36,160 --> 00:02:37,590 Go on... 67 00:02:37,640 --> 00:02:39,030 We arrive at her house, 68 00:02:39,080 --> 00:02:41,190 and she looks at me, and she says, 69 00:02:41,240 --> 00:02:44,670 "So... you wanna come in?" 70 00:02:44,720 --> 00:02:46,230 And I look at her, 71 00:02:46,280 --> 00:02:48,150 and I say, 72 00:02:48,200 --> 00:02:50,240 "Can I take a raincheck?" 73 00:02:52,440 --> 00:02:54,880 What? What did you say? 74 00:02:55,880 --> 00:02:59,670 You psychopath. It's like you stabbed the guard, blew up the safe 75 00:02:59,720 --> 00:03:02,510 and then decided you didn't want the money. I can't get a handle on you. 76 00:03:02,560 --> 00:03:06,430 OK. All I'm saying is that I love Nessa, I love my girlfriend. 77 00:03:06,480 --> 00:03:08,230 I fucked up, but it's good that I stopped. 78 00:03:08,280 --> 00:03:10,270 Admittedly, I should have stopped quite a bit sooner, 79 00:03:10,320 --> 00:03:12,910 but I did a good thing, maybe after I'd done some bad things, 80 00:03:12,960 --> 00:03:15,790 but given the circumstances, I think I did pretty well. 81 00:03:15,840 --> 00:03:17,840 "Can I take a raincheck?" 82 00:03:20,080 --> 00:03:22,320 No, I don't like that. Not one bit. 83 00:03:31,240 --> 00:03:33,350 I guess we'll have to deal with Pia ourselves. 84 00:03:33,400 --> 00:03:35,030 Yeah. 85 00:03:35,080 --> 00:03:37,070 Shall we get some pork scratchings? 86 00:03:37,120 --> 00:03:38,560 Yeah. 87 00:03:43,160 --> 00:03:45,830 - Working on your big application, buddy? - Yeah. Sorry. 88 00:03:47,880 --> 00:03:50,470 - Oh. Caroline. - Yeah, just to say, 89 00:03:50,520 --> 00:03:52,830 we're in court first thing tomorrow, so get to bed early. 90 00:03:52,880 --> 00:03:54,750 Er... yep, sure, OK. 91 00:03:54,800 --> 00:03:58,390 Last-minute brief from the CPS. Granny basher. Should be fun. 92 00:03:58,440 --> 00:04:01,000 - Oh, cool. Sounds brilliant. - See you at Chambers. 93 00:04:22,040 --> 00:04:24,630 Oh, they've fucking gone and done it now! 94 00:04:24,680 --> 00:04:26,870 - You seen that? - Thank you so much 95 00:04:26,920 --> 00:04:28,830 for giving me that hearsay application, Caroline. It's such... 96 00:04:28,880 --> 00:04:30,550 - Oh, yeah, about that... - Caroline, 97 00:04:30,600 --> 00:04:34,470 - have you seen this shit? - Don't tell me, 98 00:04:34,520 --> 00:04:36,830 we've run out of kitchen towel in the first-floor coffee area. 99 00:04:36,880 --> 00:04:38,270 Not that. Lord Weatheridge's report. 100 00:04:38,320 --> 00:04:42,030 More cuts to legal aid, and the Bar Council have just gone and approved it. 101 00:04:42,080 --> 00:04:43,390 It's a pissing disgrace. 102 00:04:43,440 --> 00:04:44,510 Where are you getting this from? 103 00:04:44,560 --> 00:04:47,150 Well, from Twitter, obviously. Where do you get your legal news from? 104 00:04:47,200 --> 00:04:48,910 MoreLawChat.com. 105 00:04:48,960 --> 00:04:51,150 It's a message board. 106 00:04:51,200 --> 00:04:54,470 You have a username and then you just chat. 107 00:04:54,520 --> 00:04:56,350 There's about 50 of us on there, all regulars. 108 00:04:56,400 --> 00:05:00,470 - Oh, er, shame about the cuts, though. - "Shame"? 109 00:05:00,520 --> 00:05:01,790 This merits strike action. 110 00:05:01,840 --> 00:05:04,950 I'm bringing this up in my role as President of the Young Bar Society. 111 00:05:05,000 --> 00:05:07,390 "Young Bar"? Ashley, you're 40. 112 00:05:07,440 --> 00:05:09,630 Yes, Caroline, I am an older young barrister. 113 00:05:09,680 --> 00:05:11,710 But as older young barristers, 114 00:05:11,760 --> 00:05:14,550 we need to set an example for our younger young colleagues. 115 00:05:14,600 --> 00:05:16,750 - Our future lies with the young. - Mmm. 116 00:05:16,800 --> 00:05:18,270 Of all ages. 117 00:05:18,320 --> 00:05:19,910 I should probably read about those plans. 118 00:05:19,960 --> 00:05:22,000 E-mail me that tweet, will you? 119 00:05:24,240 --> 00:05:25,790 E-mail you the tweet? 120 00:05:25,840 --> 00:05:27,310 Do you want me to do that for you? 121 00:05:27,360 --> 00:05:29,430 I know how to do it. She's just... 122 00:05:29,480 --> 00:05:30,600 Luddite. 123 00:05:41,120 --> 00:05:42,750 Evidence still hasn't come through. 124 00:05:42,800 --> 00:05:45,910 Always happens with overnight returners. Just keep checking. 125 00:05:45,960 --> 00:05:47,710 I didn't know you prosecuted. 126 00:05:47,760 --> 00:05:49,110 Now and then. 127 00:05:49,160 --> 00:05:50,630 I'm a treat. 128 00:05:50,680 --> 00:05:52,910 Calm. Fair. Relentless as the rain 129 00:05:52,960 --> 00:05:54,710 down a hiker's arse crack. 130 00:05:54,760 --> 00:05:57,630 I guess it makes it easier that the guy's beaten up a granny. 131 00:05:57,680 --> 00:05:59,550 Right, there's your first mistake. 132 00:05:59,600 --> 00:06:02,830 The prosecutor is first and foremost an instrument of justice. 133 00:06:02,880 --> 00:06:05,430 - Mm? - Does the bread hook pity the dough? 134 00:06:05,480 --> 00:06:07,870 Or the whisk despise the cream? 135 00:06:07,920 --> 00:06:09,790 - No? - Precisely. They do their job, 136 00:06:09,840 --> 00:06:11,350 and they leave judgment out of it. 137 00:06:11,400 --> 00:06:12,910 Doesn't do to be judgey. 138 00:06:12,960 --> 00:06:15,350 Any of us could end up decking a granny someday. 139 00:06:15,400 --> 00:06:17,550 I don't think I could ever end up decking a granny. 140 00:06:17,600 --> 00:06:19,070 What if she was a terrorist granny? 141 00:06:19,120 --> 00:06:21,470 I'd call the police, probably. 142 00:06:21,520 --> 00:06:23,830 What if she had a bomb that was about to explode? 143 00:06:23,880 --> 00:06:26,070 Then I would try to disarm her gently, 144 00:06:26,120 --> 00:06:28,390 because she is a granny. 145 00:06:28,440 --> 00:06:29,710 So pious. 146 00:06:29,760 --> 00:06:32,790 Oh, link's just come through. 147 00:06:32,840 --> 00:06:34,280 That's not good, is it? 148 00:06:36,080 --> 00:06:38,310 Matty, can I explain how trials work? 149 00:06:38,360 --> 00:06:41,310 - Caroline, I'm just in a bit of a... - What happens is we barristers 150 00:06:41,360 --> 00:06:44,350 cite evidence that the police and the CPS -- that's you... 151 00:06:44,400 --> 00:06:46,310 - Yep. - .. have loaded on to the system. 152 00:06:46,360 --> 00:06:48,060 Then the judge and jury look at it. 153 00:06:49,760 --> 00:06:51,630 There's been a fuck-up, hasn't there? 154 00:06:51,680 --> 00:06:54,510 I've got a trial in 15 minutes and there's no evidence on the system, 155 00:06:54,560 --> 00:06:57,950 just an indictment and a police case summary that says... Will? 156 00:06:58,000 --> 00:07:00,110 "He hurt the old lady proper bad." 157 00:07:00,160 --> 00:07:04,430 No. No, no, no, it can't just say that. 158 00:07:04,480 --> 00:07:05,760 Just... 159 00:07:09,040 --> 00:07:10,350 - Yeah. - Oh, yeah. Shit, no. 160 00:07:10,400 --> 00:07:11,870 Actually, 161 00:07:11,920 --> 00:07:14,910 this trial's already been delayed twice for lack of, erm... 162 00:07:14,960 --> 00:07:17,070 Who's the reviewing lawyer? I'll call in. 163 00:07:17,120 --> 00:07:18,310 Kelly Marten. 164 00:07:18,360 --> 00:07:19,550 Er, yeah, no point. 165 00:07:19,600 --> 00:07:21,830 Er, Kelly's taking a break. 166 00:07:21,880 --> 00:07:25,070 Well, you can't blame her. These cuts have hit the CPS hard. 167 00:07:25,120 --> 00:07:27,390 - Creaky system. - Sure. And before that, 168 00:07:27,440 --> 00:07:29,390 you were like a bureaucratic SAS. 169 00:07:29,440 --> 00:07:31,070 Where's the officer in the case? He should have the hard evidence. 170 00:07:31,120 --> 00:07:33,120 - Where is he? - I don't know. I haven't seen him. 171 00:07:34,120 --> 00:07:36,750 - Oh, do you want me to find him? - Yeah, 172 00:07:36,800 --> 00:07:37,870 I want you to find him. 173 00:07:37,920 --> 00:07:40,510 Find my bloody evidence, you monochrome moron. 174 00:07:40,560 --> 00:07:42,910 Earn your piss-poor salary! 175 00:07:42,960 --> 00:07:46,550 - Infuriating! - Tell me about it. 176 00:07:46,600 --> 00:07:48,470 The thing is, the CPS do control the work, 177 00:07:48,520 --> 00:07:50,080 so you've got to be nice to them. 178 00:07:51,520 --> 00:07:52,870 Right... 179 00:07:52,920 --> 00:07:55,920 OK, Will, let's find our complainant. 180 00:07:57,200 --> 00:07:59,030 Why is Graham smiling at me? 181 00:07:59,080 --> 00:08:00,990 If it's Graham Tandy, he's defending. 182 00:08:01,040 --> 00:08:03,910 Strange man. Always has a packed lunch with him. 183 00:08:03,960 --> 00:08:05,430 Graham, how are you? 184 00:08:05,480 --> 00:08:07,670 Caroline! This is the third scheduled trial. 185 00:08:07,720 --> 00:08:10,110 My client's been in custody for six months. 186 00:08:10,160 --> 00:08:11,590 I'm getting a discharge. 187 00:08:11,640 --> 00:08:13,950 - Nasty. You should have that looked at. - Not from my penis, 188 00:08:14,000 --> 00:08:16,070 from the judge. 189 00:08:16,120 --> 00:08:18,430 Oh, come on, Graham, you know what it's like. 190 00:08:18,480 --> 00:08:20,030 Give me half a day to find the evidence 191 00:08:20,080 --> 00:08:22,310 and I will give him the fairest trial. 192 00:08:22,360 --> 00:08:24,470 Would you give me half a day? 193 00:08:24,520 --> 00:08:26,200 Always. 194 00:08:27,320 --> 00:08:28,670 I want a discharge, Caroline. 195 00:08:28,720 --> 00:08:31,350 All right, all right, don't spill your cheesy dippers. 196 00:08:31,400 --> 00:08:35,230 A packed lunch is a sensible economy. I have three children. 197 00:08:35,280 --> 00:08:36,870 I don't care if you're Captain von Trapp, 198 00:08:36,920 --> 00:08:39,120 you should see yourself sucking a Capri Sun. 199 00:08:47,680 --> 00:08:48,950 Oh, fuck. 200 00:08:49,000 --> 00:08:50,870 Oh, hey, Danielle. 201 00:08:50,920 --> 00:08:54,200 - Pia! Nice to see you. - You too. 202 00:08:57,880 --> 00:09:00,430 I've been shadowing the Head of Pupillage on an interlocutory. 203 00:09:00,480 --> 00:09:02,080 - Cool, right? - Yeah. 204 00:09:07,880 --> 00:09:08,870 Danielle? 205 00:09:08,920 --> 00:09:11,790 - Hm? - I'm so sorry. 206 00:09:11,840 --> 00:09:14,710 Four months as pupils, and you and I have barely chatted. 207 00:09:14,760 --> 00:09:17,120 - It's OK. We both work hard. - No. 208 00:09:18,600 --> 00:09:21,110 No, my mum's always telling me off for not making friends. 209 00:09:21,160 --> 00:09:24,230 She says I focus too much on academic achievement 210 00:09:24,280 --> 00:09:27,790 and not enough on, you know, social achievement. 211 00:09:27,840 --> 00:09:29,320 Yeah. 212 00:09:30,760 --> 00:09:31,800 Cool. 213 00:09:37,840 --> 00:09:39,630 - Do you have a boyfriend? - Er, 214 00:09:39,680 --> 00:09:41,070 - well... - I do. 215 00:09:41,120 --> 00:09:45,110 His name's John. He's a baby tenant at Furcifer Chambers, planning law. 216 00:09:45,160 --> 00:09:46,640 I know. So me. 217 00:09:48,000 --> 00:09:49,510 Sorry, complete your sentence. 218 00:09:49,560 --> 00:09:53,550 Oh, well, I'm not really in the market at the moment. 219 00:09:53,600 --> 00:09:56,630 Oh, preach. Yeah, boys are too much trouble. 220 00:09:56,680 --> 00:09:57,670 Yeah. 221 00:09:57,720 --> 00:10:00,790 The other day, John came round drunk while I was working late, 222 00:10:00,840 --> 00:10:04,080 and I ended up wanking him off into the Chambers cafetiere. 223 00:10:06,560 --> 00:10:08,030 You did what? 224 00:10:08,080 --> 00:10:10,040 In the first-floor coffee area? 225 00:10:11,000 --> 00:10:13,400 There's never any kitchen towel, is there? 226 00:10:26,600 --> 00:10:27,990 Oh, hello. 227 00:10:28,040 --> 00:10:29,710 - Welcome to Witness Services. - All right, who's in charge here? 228 00:10:29,760 --> 00:10:31,710 I'm looking for an Annie Scott. 229 00:10:31,760 --> 00:10:35,510 I'm Kirsten. I'm doing work experience for my aunt in the court office. 230 00:10:35,560 --> 00:10:37,710 The witness volunteer didn't show up, so I'm subbing in. 231 00:10:37,760 --> 00:10:39,630 Great, now we're using child labour. 232 00:10:39,680 --> 00:10:42,190 Haven't got an Annie. It's mad round here, innit? 233 00:10:42,240 --> 00:10:44,350 Mm, pretty wild, yeah. 234 00:10:44,400 --> 00:10:45,990 Sergeant Wells is not responding at his home. 235 00:10:46,040 --> 00:10:47,470 He was working nights last night, 236 00:10:47,520 --> 00:10:49,590 so he's probably, you know, catchin' some zees. 237 00:10:49,640 --> 00:10:51,990 He's on nights when he's meant to be in court? 238 00:10:52,040 --> 00:10:55,710 I mean, that's a cock-up, but you know the police -- they're so stretched. 239 00:10:55,760 --> 00:10:57,960 Yeah, yeah, creaky system. Keep trying. 240 00:11:00,360 --> 00:11:03,270 'All parties in the case of Moreland to Court One, please. 241 00:11:03,320 --> 00:11:04,350 OK. I will play for time. 242 00:11:04,400 --> 00:11:06,430 You need to get a new statement from the complainant. 243 00:11:06,480 --> 00:11:09,710 That's enough to start a trial if Matt doesn't get the old one here on time. 244 00:11:09,760 --> 00:11:10,790 Find that granny. 245 00:11:10,840 --> 00:11:13,910 And this is big -- do not let her know that we've lost the evidence. 246 00:11:13,960 --> 00:11:16,990 Sorry, hang on. Shouldn't the complainant know? 247 00:11:17,040 --> 00:11:19,630 God, no. Never inform the complainant. 248 00:11:19,680 --> 00:11:22,830 They're unpredictable. They do runners, they withdraw their evidence. 249 00:11:22,880 --> 00:11:25,590 But she's already given a statement. She's going to know that something's up. 250 00:11:25,640 --> 00:11:27,950 - What am I supposed to say to her? - She's an elderly woman. 251 00:11:28,000 --> 00:11:31,750 She's scared, she's confused, and you are her lawyer. 252 00:11:31,800 --> 00:11:34,190 You can tell her any old crap you like. 253 00:11:34,240 --> 00:11:36,080 You're her lawyer. 254 00:11:48,840 --> 00:11:50,870 All right? 255 00:11:50,920 --> 00:11:52,120 You seem happy... 256 00:11:59,840 --> 00:12:03,240 Pia wanked off her boyfriend into the first-floor cafetière. 257 00:12:04,600 --> 00:12:06,510 - What? - Last week. 258 00:12:06,560 --> 00:12:10,160 His genetic material is in most of Chambers by now. 259 00:12:11,160 --> 00:12:12,680 Oh, my God. 260 00:12:14,240 --> 00:12:16,880 Most of them go ape if you get the blend wrong. 261 00:12:18,440 --> 00:12:21,510 Imagine when they find out they've been drinking balls latte. 262 00:12:21,560 --> 00:12:23,040 Exactly. 263 00:12:25,920 --> 00:12:27,430 Such quick results! 264 00:12:27,480 --> 00:12:29,790 - We make a great team. - Yep, I collect the intelligence, 265 00:12:29,840 --> 00:12:30,990 you spread it. 266 00:12:31,040 --> 00:12:32,030 Come again? 267 00:12:32,080 --> 00:12:33,230 It's better that way. 268 00:12:33,280 --> 00:12:34,910 Division of labour. 269 00:12:34,960 --> 00:12:37,350 And when women tell on women, it never looks good. 270 00:12:37,400 --> 00:12:38,750 Fuck off. 271 00:12:38,800 --> 00:12:40,270 - What? - I'm not telling people this. 272 00:12:40,320 --> 00:12:41,670 - I'll look awful. - Hey, 273 00:12:41,720 --> 00:12:43,110 we're meant to be a team. 274 00:12:43,160 --> 00:12:44,600 No, no, no. 275 00:12:45,720 --> 00:12:47,630 This is a double takedown. 276 00:12:47,680 --> 00:12:51,110 Pia goes down for the cafetiere and people think I'm some kind of slimeball. 277 00:12:51,160 --> 00:12:52,950 People already think you're a slimeball. 278 00:12:53,000 --> 00:12:54,670 Oh, they suspect it. They don't know it. 279 00:12:54,720 --> 00:12:57,070 OK, then what are we going to do? 280 00:12:57,120 --> 00:12:59,520 Because this intel is dead unless we spread it. 281 00:13:06,200 --> 00:13:08,840 "Chumbo"'s not a word, is it? "Chundo"? 282 00:13:13,240 --> 00:13:16,230 - Annie? Annie Scott? - Yes. 283 00:13:16,280 --> 00:13:17,790 - Hello! - Hi, I'm Will. 284 00:13:17,840 --> 00:13:19,910 - Oh, you're here. - Annie, shall I just, er, 285 00:13:19,960 --> 00:13:22,190 take these puzzles and pop them in your special folder? 286 00:13:22,240 --> 00:13:23,750 Yep? I'll give them back later. 287 00:13:23,800 --> 00:13:26,830 Er, so, this is Will. He's your barrister. 288 00:13:26,880 --> 00:13:28,310 He's the one that presents our case. 289 00:13:28,360 --> 00:13:31,430 Yes, I remember how it works. 290 00:13:31,480 --> 00:13:33,270 - It's my third time here. - Oh, I'm sorry. 291 00:13:33,320 --> 00:13:34,920 Oh, I'm getting used to it. 292 00:13:36,240 --> 00:13:39,190 Sorry, I'm Beth, Victim Support. 293 00:13:39,240 --> 00:13:41,550 Hello there, nice to meet you. Er, sort of, 294 00:13:41,600 --> 00:13:45,030 er, like a professional friend and explainer for Annie, because she's old. 295 00:13:45,080 --> 00:13:48,990 Not professional as in paid, as in fully trained and... 296 00:13:49,040 --> 00:13:51,110 - .. er, very enthusiastic. - Oh, well, that's brilliant! 297 00:13:51,160 --> 00:13:55,070 - Thank you! - Er, just to be clear, I'm not actually the barrister. 298 00:13:55,120 --> 00:13:57,510 - I'm the pupil. - Wonderful. 299 00:13:57,560 --> 00:13:59,390 What is that? 300 00:13:59,440 --> 00:14:00,670 - What is...? - A pupil. What is it? 301 00:14:00,720 --> 00:14:02,430 I-I-I can't explain if I don't know. 302 00:14:02,480 --> 00:14:04,350 - Well, it's just like a trainee. - Right, OK. 303 00:14:04,400 --> 00:14:08,470 So, Annie, Will is sort of a trainee to your barrister. 304 00:14:08,520 --> 00:14:11,790 Actually, your boss really should have come and introduced himself. 305 00:14:11,840 --> 00:14:13,990 Yeah, so, Caroline, er, she's in court at the moment. 306 00:14:14,040 --> 00:14:17,430 But what she wanted from you, Annie, is, er, a sort of statement. 307 00:14:17,480 --> 00:14:19,670 - A statement? - Yeah, she's already done a statement. 308 00:14:19,720 --> 00:14:22,830 Er, yes. So this would just be like a second statement. It's very common. 309 00:14:22,880 --> 00:14:26,180 Well, it's never happened in my experience, and I've done nine trials. 310 00:14:26,480 --> 00:14:28,150 It's not common-common, but it's kind of like... 311 00:14:28,200 --> 00:14:30,630 Why would the young lad lie to us, Beth? 312 00:14:30,680 --> 00:14:32,510 Exactly. I mean, I'm not a liar. So... 313 00:14:32,560 --> 00:14:33,870 Well, I'm not saying you're a liar. 314 00:14:33,920 --> 00:14:35,510 Er, I'll tell you what, Annie, 315 00:14:35,560 --> 00:14:39,110 I'm going to go and get the court officer. I'll just be a couple of minutes. 316 00:14:39,160 --> 00:14:42,710 Sorry, I've got a leaflet here, Will, er, called The Criminal Process, 317 00:14:42,760 --> 00:14:44,430 which you're probably familiar with. Doesn't say anything in here 318 00:14:44,480 --> 00:14:45,870 - about a second statement. - Yeah, don't worry about it. 319 00:14:45,920 --> 00:14:47,630 I'm not sure why you would even need one. 320 00:14:47,680 --> 00:14:49,310 I mean, is there something wrong with the first one? 321 00:14:49,360 --> 00:14:51,870 No, no. God, no. No, the first one was great. We were thrilled... 322 00:14:51,920 --> 00:14:53,070 I mean, not thrilled with it, 323 00:14:53,120 --> 00:14:56,190 obviously, because of the specifics of it. Er, obviously very harrowing. 324 00:14:56,240 --> 00:14:58,110 - Yeah. - Yeah, but, er... 325 00:14:58,160 --> 00:15:01,430 I tell you what, Beth, would it be OK if just you and I 326 00:15:01,480 --> 00:15:03,750 have a quick chat in the CPS room? 327 00:15:03,800 --> 00:15:05,680 - The CPS room? - Yeah. 328 00:15:07,080 --> 00:15:08,910 Well, er... 329 00:15:08,960 --> 00:15:12,550 Er, Annie? Do you mind waiting for me in Witness Services? 330 00:15:12,600 --> 00:15:14,350 I won't be a minute. All right? 331 00:15:14,400 --> 00:15:15,630 I think she'll be all right. 332 00:15:15,680 --> 00:15:17,600 Lead on, Macduff. 333 00:15:20,040 --> 00:15:22,430 I've heard from both counsel. 334 00:15:22,480 --> 00:15:23,670 Ms Bratt, 335 00:15:23,720 --> 00:15:26,150 this is this trial's third listing. 336 00:15:26,200 --> 00:15:29,600 The defendant has been in custody for 180 days. 337 00:15:30,560 --> 00:15:32,390 We start now. 338 00:15:32,440 --> 00:15:34,830 - Your Honour, can I...? - No, no, Miss Bratt. This chap 339 00:15:34,880 --> 00:15:38,070 pleads not guilty. You can offer no evidence, and everyone can go home. 340 00:15:38,120 --> 00:15:40,350 Mr Tandy, er, 341 00:15:40,400 --> 00:15:42,900 please bring in your client and we can get started. 342 00:15:44,080 --> 00:15:47,400 Er... Your Honour, this is where we have a problem. 343 00:15:49,160 --> 00:15:51,520 My client is not here. 344 00:15:52,680 --> 00:15:55,440 The van from the prison has yet to turn up. 345 00:15:56,560 --> 00:15:58,190 Apologies, Your Honour. 346 00:15:58,240 --> 00:16:01,310 Some problem with the contractors of the prison van. 347 00:16:01,360 --> 00:16:02,950 With the cuts. 348 00:16:03,000 --> 00:16:05,790 Yes. Yes, of course. 349 00:16:05,840 --> 00:16:07,230 Creaky system. 350 00:16:07,280 --> 00:16:09,070 Exactly, Your Honour. 351 00:16:09,120 --> 00:16:11,600 Well, Ms Bratt... 352 00:16:12,600 --> 00:16:14,840 .. you have until the defendant turns up. 353 00:16:20,120 --> 00:16:23,070 I've never been in the CPS room. 354 00:16:23,120 --> 00:16:24,790 This is special. 355 00:16:24,840 --> 00:16:26,430 Yeah. 356 00:16:26,480 --> 00:16:28,230 Yeah. Er... 357 00:16:28,280 --> 00:16:31,790 So Beth, I was thinking that you and I could maybe do with consulting 358 00:16:31,840 --> 00:16:33,390 as to what's best for Annie. 359 00:16:33,440 --> 00:16:37,670 Good. Yes, good. Yeah. I mean, I've only been doing this a short time, 360 00:16:37,720 --> 00:16:41,950 but I have already noticed this silly gap between the barristers 361 00:16:42,000 --> 00:16:44,030 and the support. We are on the same side. 362 00:16:44,080 --> 00:16:45,550 Yeah, I know, exactly. 363 00:16:45,600 --> 00:16:49,590 So Caroline, who, as you know, is actually legally qualified, 364 00:16:49,640 --> 00:16:51,950 er, she thinks that we should get a second statement. 365 00:16:52,000 --> 00:16:53,750 - Sure. Yeah. - Yeah. 366 00:16:53,800 --> 00:16:55,190 No. 367 00:16:55,240 --> 00:16:57,710 No, I... You know, Annie has been through a lot. 368 00:16:57,760 --> 00:17:02,230 I worry that going through her testimony again might unsettle her. 369 00:17:02,280 --> 00:17:05,360 Really? She seems OK. 370 00:17:06,760 --> 00:17:08,750 That woman was beaten 371 00:17:08,800 --> 00:17:11,870 and trapped in her own bathroom for 26 hours. 372 00:17:11,920 --> 00:17:14,190 I mean, you have read the original statement. 373 00:17:14,240 --> 00:17:15,670 Yes. No, yes, I have. 374 00:17:15,720 --> 00:17:17,270 - Absolutely, yeah. - Dreadful. 375 00:17:17,320 --> 00:17:19,670 - I remember that bit, definitely. - Exactly. 376 00:17:19,720 --> 00:17:22,000 So I don't think... 377 00:17:23,280 --> 00:17:25,510 OK, Beth, I'm really sorry, I'm going to have to come clean with you. 378 00:17:25,560 --> 00:17:27,270 We don't have the old statement, 379 00:17:27,320 --> 00:17:29,710 because we've lost it, 380 00:17:29,760 --> 00:17:31,750 along with all of the rest of the evidence. 381 00:17:31,800 --> 00:17:33,390 You've done what? 382 00:17:33,440 --> 00:17:36,190 Good news! I've bought us some time. Did you get that statement? 383 00:17:36,240 --> 00:17:37,950 You've lost the evidence? 384 00:17:38,000 --> 00:17:40,510 - Who's she? - It's OK. This is Victim Support. 385 00:17:40,560 --> 00:17:41,550 How could you have lost the evidence? 386 00:17:41,600 --> 00:17:42,870 Why are you telling her we've lost the evidence? 387 00:17:42,920 --> 00:17:44,710 Because you wanted a second statement. 388 00:17:44,760 --> 00:17:47,710 This is dreadful. We need to let Annie know. What the hell are you up to? 389 00:17:47,760 --> 00:17:49,430 We didn't think it was right to worry our client. 390 00:17:49,480 --> 00:17:50,870 You have no evidence 391 00:17:50,920 --> 00:17:54,150 on the morning of the trial. No, I'm sorry, Annie needs to know. 392 00:17:54,200 --> 00:17:56,510 - No. Grab her. Grab her. - No, keep your hands off me. 393 00:17:56,560 --> 00:17:58,190 - I wasn't going to. - Excuse me. 394 00:17:58,240 --> 00:17:59,590 My hands are not near you. 395 00:17:59,640 --> 00:18:01,510 - Grab her! - I can't grab her, obviously. 396 00:18:01,560 --> 00:18:03,430 - Is this locked?! - No, Beth. 397 00:18:03,480 --> 00:18:05,550 - Help! Let me out! - Beth, can I just...? 398 00:18:05,600 --> 00:18:08,510 - Help! - Can I just show you? Pull it. 399 00:18:08,560 --> 00:18:10,390 - Yeah? - Thank you. 400 00:18:10,440 --> 00:18:14,190 I did it. I did it. Sergeant Wells is awake. He's... 401 00:18:14,240 --> 00:18:15,750 .. 30 minutes away, max. 402 00:18:15,800 --> 00:18:18,030 Excellent. The officer will have all the original evidence, 403 00:18:18,080 --> 00:18:20,070 - and no-one needs to scare the horses. - Right, 404 00:18:20,120 --> 00:18:21,910 well, er, I'll tell Annie everything's all right. 405 00:18:21,960 --> 00:18:24,550 Yeah, you tell your victim everything's all right, you make her a nice cuppa 406 00:18:24,600 --> 00:18:27,630 and you get your Brownie first-aid badge out of my operating theatre. 407 00:18:27,680 --> 00:18:28,880 Safety door. 408 00:18:39,360 --> 00:18:40,350 OK. 409 00:18:40,400 --> 00:18:42,990 So we're sitting on this cafetière information, 410 00:18:43,040 --> 00:18:44,910 but we can't be seen to distribute it. Agreed? 411 00:18:44,960 --> 00:18:45,990 Agreed. 412 00:18:46,040 --> 00:18:47,560 Behold. 413 00:18:51,840 --> 00:18:53,150 What the fuck is that? 414 00:18:53,200 --> 00:18:54,710 @SneakyBarrister, 415 00:18:54,760 --> 00:18:58,190 the new gossip service spilling the beans on the London barrister scene. 416 00:18:58,240 --> 00:18:59,870 No leads. No trace. 417 00:18:59,920 --> 00:19:01,630 No followers. 418 00:19:01,680 --> 00:19:05,310 Sure, we'll have to build up a base, put out a few other tasty titbits, 419 00:19:05,360 --> 00:19:06,670 to attract some followers. 420 00:19:06,720 --> 00:19:09,030 - Titbits like what? - Easy. 421 00:19:09,080 --> 00:19:11,390 So, I write... 422 00:19:11,440 --> 00:19:16,390 "Will from 60 Bedford Row slept with 423 00:19:16,440 --> 00:19:20,080 "a juror named Selina." 424 00:19:21,320 --> 00:19:22,710 We find some more titbits, 425 00:19:22,760 --> 00:19:24,550 maybe an Insta account 426 00:19:24,600 --> 00:19:25,790 to divert followers. 427 00:19:25,840 --> 00:19:29,470 And when we get to a few thousand, boom, we drop the bombshell. 428 00:19:29,520 --> 00:19:31,070 So basically your plan involves 429 00:19:31,120 --> 00:19:35,040 several weeks of a fully integrated social media strategy. 430 00:19:36,440 --> 00:19:38,030 OK... 431 00:19:38,080 --> 00:19:39,350 Scrub that. 432 00:19:39,400 --> 00:19:42,990 Let's post the cafetiere story now and repost it ourselves. 433 00:19:43,040 --> 00:19:44,960 From our own accounts? 434 00:19:45,960 --> 00:19:47,750 Fair point. Bad idea. 435 00:19:51,320 --> 00:19:53,160 Sitting on a gold mine. 436 00:19:55,600 --> 00:19:59,350 It's fun having you around. You're like one of those extra hobbits, you know, 437 00:19:59,400 --> 00:20:01,790 the two who just mess things up and keep it interesting. 438 00:20:01,840 --> 00:20:03,550 The whole day has been stupid chaos. 439 00:20:03,600 --> 00:20:06,030 The system's creaking more than normal. Still, 440 00:20:06,080 --> 00:20:07,430 CPS screwed us, 441 00:20:07,480 --> 00:20:10,190 the van driver screwed the defence. 442 00:20:10,240 --> 00:20:12,350 That is justice, basically. 443 00:20:12,400 --> 00:20:16,110 Oh, I meant to say, you won't have had time to do that hearsay application. 444 00:20:16,160 --> 00:20:18,550 No, it's fine, I stayed up really late, so just a few bits and bobs. 445 00:20:18,600 --> 00:20:19,710 No, it's OK. 446 00:20:19,760 --> 00:20:21,590 I got that Pia girl to do it. 447 00:20:21,640 --> 00:20:22,630 OK... 448 00:20:22,680 --> 00:20:26,240 Yeah, she whipped it up this morning. Pretty great, actually. 449 00:20:27,520 --> 00:20:29,910 - What if she was a racist? - Who, Pia? 450 00:20:29,960 --> 00:20:31,790 Hypothetical granny. Would you beat her up then? 451 00:20:31,840 --> 00:20:33,750 All grannies are a little bit racist, aren't they? 452 00:20:33,800 --> 00:20:35,630 OK, worse than racist. What if she was Hitler? 453 00:20:35,680 --> 00:20:37,870 Then she wouldn't be a granny. She'd be Hitler. 454 00:20:37,920 --> 00:20:40,670 Ladies and gentlemen, our saviour, Sergeant Wells. 455 00:20:40,720 --> 00:20:43,230 - Do you know Caroline? - From the other side. 456 00:20:43,280 --> 00:20:45,190 Sorry I'm late. Creaky system. 457 00:20:45,240 --> 00:20:48,390 - Yeah, creaky system. - Ready to go now. Just one thing. 458 00:20:48,440 --> 00:20:51,310 Can I print off copies of the evidence? Didn't have time to stop by the station. 459 00:20:51,360 --> 00:20:54,030 Sorry, you don't have the evidence? 460 00:20:54,080 --> 00:20:56,190 Well, as I say... 461 00:20:56,240 --> 00:20:58,070 We don't have the evidence. 462 00:20:58,120 --> 00:21:00,560 We thought you had the evidence. 463 00:21:01,600 --> 00:21:03,910 Well, I'm not meant to be the only guy with the evidence. 464 00:21:03,960 --> 00:21:06,670 OK. This is fine. We'll call the station. 465 00:21:06,720 --> 00:21:09,550 If it's not here in time, we'll get the statement out of Annie. 466 00:21:09,600 --> 00:21:11,510 I can't find Annie. I've looked everywhere. 467 00:21:11,560 --> 00:21:13,280 I think she's gone. 468 00:21:15,560 --> 00:21:18,030 I had it at the case meeting. Look in the drawer. 469 00:21:18,080 --> 00:21:19,980 Not the bottom drawer, the top drawer. 470 00:21:22,360 --> 00:21:24,750 I'm trying to find your neighbour, Annie. 471 00:21:24,800 --> 00:21:26,190 Annie, yes. 472 00:21:26,240 --> 00:21:30,190 Yes. So can you tell her that Beth....? 473 00:21:30,240 --> 00:21:31,310 Beth. 474 00:21:31,360 --> 00:21:34,110 No, B-E-T-H. 475 00:21:35,660 --> 00:21:36,430 H. That's it. 476 00:21:36,480 --> 00:21:38,870 - Hello? - Will, good news. Have you got a minute? 477 00:21:38,920 --> 00:21:40,710 Sorry, just give me a second. 478 00:21:40,760 --> 00:21:42,710 OK, sorry, what's up? 479 00:21:42,760 --> 00:21:45,590 Pia wanked off her boyfriend into the first-floor cafetière. 480 00:21:45,640 --> 00:21:46,950 Oh! Nice. 481 00:21:47,000 --> 00:21:48,910 I know. And I just want to say... 482 00:21:48,960 --> 00:21:50,790 .. this is nothing to do with our chat last night, 483 00:21:50,840 --> 00:21:53,070 but we do think 484 00:21:53,120 --> 00:21:57,430 that someone senior in Chambers should know, if only for health reasons. 485 00:21:57,480 --> 00:21:58,950 That's very nice of you. 486 00:21:59,000 --> 00:22:01,030 And I thought if you told Caroline, 487 00:22:01,080 --> 00:22:05,030 no-one would question your intentions, because you're such a stand-up guy 488 00:22:05,080 --> 00:22:07,870 and, you know, everyone in Chambers really respects you. 489 00:22:07,920 --> 00:22:10,390 Yeah, nice try, Danielle. Sorry, I've got to go. 490 00:22:10,440 --> 00:22:12,560 We all just love hygiene and coffee! 491 00:22:15,680 --> 00:22:17,000 Fuck. 492 00:22:22,920 --> 00:22:25,400 Sorry you had to find me in here, but... 493 00:22:26,960 --> 00:22:30,510 .. Beth was lurking in the foyer, so I couldn't leave. 494 00:22:30,560 --> 00:22:32,550 Thank you for staying. 495 00:22:32,600 --> 00:22:36,000 And you know what? It's really natural to feel nervous before a trial. 496 00:22:36,400 --> 00:22:39,120 Especially if you've lost the evidence. 497 00:22:40,320 --> 00:22:43,110 OK. Shit. Er... 498 00:22:43,160 --> 00:22:44,750 Well... 499 00:22:44,800 --> 00:22:48,510 .. firstly, the evidence will turn up, hopefully. 500 00:22:48,560 --> 00:22:51,390 And second of all, even if it doesn't, 501 00:22:51,440 --> 00:22:54,110 we can actually do it with just your testimony. 502 00:22:54,160 --> 00:22:55,950 I see. 503 00:22:56,000 --> 00:23:00,000 So it's little old me alone against one of you barristers. 504 00:23:02,040 --> 00:23:04,830 It was supposed to be a guilty plea on the day. 505 00:23:04,880 --> 00:23:06,230 Yeah. 506 00:23:06,280 --> 00:23:09,630 The thing is, if we don't put this guy in prison, he could attack again. 507 00:23:09,680 --> 00:23:11,560 Won't attack me again! 508 00:23:12,520 --> 00:23:15,030 I've been duffed up once in 75 years. 509 00:23:15,080 --> 00:23:17,870 I'd be bloody unlucky for it to happen to me again. 510 00:23:17,920 --> 00:23:20,390 Could happen to other people, I guess. 511 00:23:21,480 --> 00:23:22,990 "Other people"! 512 00:23:23,040 --> 00:23:24,630 Oh, listen, son, 513 00:23:24,680 --> 00:23:28,310 you won't go far wrong if you keep this in mind -- 514 00:23:28,360 --> 00:23:30,480 what's in it for me? 515 00:23:31,520 --> 00:23:34,030 As far as this goes, well, 516 00:23:34,080 --> 00:23:37,190 I'm the victim here. Don't I get to choose? 517 00:23:37,240 --> 00:23:42,950 Well, unless you think the evidence will turn up... 518 00:23:43,000 --> 00:23:45,280 I don't know. 519 00:23:48,720 --> 00:23:52,320 If you don't want to do the trial, I don't think you should do the trial, Annie. 520 00:23:53,200 --> 00:23:56,040 You seem a bit soft for this line of work. 521 00:23:57,280 --> 00:23:59,800 - If you don't mind me saying. - No, it's fine. 522 00:24:00,880 --> 00:24:02,360 It's been said before. 523 00:24:08,560 --> 00:24:12,390 With the CPS offering no evidence, this case cannot continue, 524 00:24:12,440 --> 00:24:17,480 and you leave without a stain on your character. 525 00:25:08,320 --> 00:25:11,470 It's an arse, but nothing we can do. Not feeling too cut up, are you? 526 00:25:11,520 --> 00:25:14,910 Er, no. I mean, that's the thing about complainants. 527 00:25:14,960 --> 00:25:17,430 Can't rely on them. 528 00:25:17,480 --> 00:25:19,950 Look at you, hardening up. Oh! 529 00:25:20,000 --> 00:25:23,270 Gossip on MoreLawChat.com. 530 00:25:23,320 --> 00:25:25,390 Apparently, a pupil at some Chambers 531 00:25:25,440 --> 00:25:29,590 wanked off her boyfriend into the Chambers cafetiere. 532 00:25:30,720 --> 00:25:32,230 Oh, right! 533 00:25:32,280 --> 00:25:34,000 Oh. Hang on. 534 00:25:37,520 --> 00:25:39,390 Can I have a takeaway coffee in the morning? 535 00:25:39,440 --> 00:25:41,070 Yep. Sure. 536 00:25:41,120 --> 00:25:42,600 See you tomorrow. 537 00:25:51,360 --> 00:25:52,590 Hey, chicken. 538 00:25:52,640 --> 00:25:53,960 Hey. Where are you? 539 00:25:55,040 --> 00:25:58,190 Er, just finishing up at work. I'll be home in a bit. 540 00:25:58,240 --> 00:26:00,710 - OK. I'll see you soon. - OK. 541 00:26:00,760 --> 00:26:02,640 - All right, see you. - Bye.