1 00:00:00,010 --> 00:00:03,870 Must be hard for you Danielle -- if we get the best jobs now, 2 00:00:03,920 --> 00:00:05,230 how are you going to overtake us? 3 00:00:05,280 --> 00:00:07,470 What are we going to do? Do we hang out here, 4 00:00:07,520 --> 00:00:09,430 sniffing each other's arse fumes, or do we work together, 5 00:00:09,480 --> 00:00:11,590 hunt her down, crush her? 6 00:00:11,640 --> 00:00:15,230 You guys scheme your evil schemes. Just don't get me involved. 7 00:00:15,280 --> 00:00:18,350 Pia wanked off her boyfriend into the first-floor cafetiere. 8 00:00:18,400 --> 00:00:19,510 What? 9 00:00:19,560 --> 00:00:23,350 This intel is dead unless we spread it. 10 00:00:23,400 --> 00:00:25,590 QC interviews next week. I know you're up for it, too. 11 00:00:25,640 --> 00:00:27,270 To be honest, Caroline, it seems 12 00:00:27,320 --> 00:00:29,390 you have a real likeability problem. 13 00:00:29,440 --> 00:00:32,190 I'm a criminal barrister, not some reporter from The One Show. 14 00:00:32,240 --> 00:00:35,030 Selina and I kissed. I love Nessa, I love my girlfriend. 15 00:00:35,080 --> 00:00:37,150 I probably should have stopped earlier, 16 00:00:37,200 --> 00:00:39,470 but given the circumstances, I think I did pretty well. 17 00:00:39,520 --> 00:00:42,680 You're not being honest with your girlfriend, are you? 18 00:00:46,800 --> 00:00:48,870 OK, so, 19 00:00:48,920 --> 00:00:51,030 you stand behind these women on escalators, 20 00:00:51,080 --> 00:00:52,910 and you get your scissors out. 21 00:00:52,960 --> 00:00:56,070 Yes. Mm. Exactly, that's right. 22 00:00:56,120 --> 00:00:58,790 Then you cut their dresses while they're not looking. 23 00:00:58,840 --> 00:01:00,750 Yes. Just at the nape here. 24 00:01:00,800 --> 00:01:03,870 Three snips for a perfect square. 25 00:01:03,920 --> 00:01:05,750 I did this one on the way here. 26 00:01:05,800 --> 00:01:08,590 Ooh, look at that. Here's a bail violation I did earlier. 27 00:01:08,640 --> 00:01:10,470 Caroline, can I please...? 28 00:01:10,520 --> 00:01:12,270 Ronald, the thing is, the police are saying 29 00:01:12,320 --> 00:01:14,350 - that this is a sexual assault. - Right! 30 00:01:14,400 --> 00:01:17,630 I mean, it isn't such a bad thing, is it? 31 00:01:17,680 --> 00:01:20,190 They want to put me on some... register. 32 00:01:20,240 --> 00:01:22,230 Don't worry, Caroline's done loads of sexual offences. 33 00:01:22,280 --> 00:01:24,190 The solicitor actually thinks it's good 34 00:01:24,240 --> 00:01:26,390 for a sex offender to be represented by a female barrister, 35 00:01:26,440 --> 00:01:28,430 - like she believes him. - Ronald, the thing is, 36 00:01:28,480 --> 00:01:29,910 in order for this to be a sexual offence, 37 00:01:29,960 --> 00:01:32,950 it would have to be done with the intent of sexual gratification. 38 00:01:33,000 --> 00:01:35,670 Oh, good, because I don't intend to do it that way. 39 00:01:35,720 --> 00:01:37,790 I don't intend to do it at all. 40 00:01:37,840 --> 00:01:39,830 - How do you mean? - Well, it's compulsive, isn't it? 41 00:01:39,880 --> 00:01:42,990 You do something once, then that pleases you somehow, 42 00:01:43,040 --> 00:01:45,070 and so you do it again, and soon, you just... 43 00:01:45,120 --> 00:01:47,150 .. find yourself doing it. 44 00:01:47,200 --> 00:01:51,430 You just find yourself wielding a pair of scissors on an escalator. 45 00:01:51,480 --> 00:01:53,950 Yes! You're just there, doing a crime. 46 00:01:54,000 --> 00:01:56,750 Young man, you'll learn. The spirit is willing, 47 00:01:56,800 --> 00:01:58,630 but the flesh, mm, 48 00:01:58,680 --> 00:02:00,510 the flesh will fucking drop you in it. 49 00:02:00,560 --> 00:02:02,510 OK, Ronald, we'll see you in court tomorrow. 50 00:02:02,560 --> 00:02:05,190 And, erm, dress nicely. Proper trousers. 51 00:02:05,240 --> 00:02:06,950 What's wrong with these? 52 00:02:07,000 --> 00:02:09,270 Caroline thinks only perverts wear three-quarter-length trousers. 53 00:02:09,320 --> 00:02:12,800 Well, that's silly! I adore the air on my ankles. 54 00:02:15,440 --> 00:02:19,030 ♪ Spent a week in a dusty library 55 00:02:19,080 --> 00:02:22,910 ♪ Waiting for some words to jump at me 56 00:02:22,960 --> 00:02:25,990 ♪ We met by a trick of fate 57 00:02:26,040 --> 00:02:29,040 ♪ French Navy my sailor mate... ♪ 58 00:02:30,480 --> 00:02:32,230 Are you eating that? 59 00:02:32,280 --> 00:02:34,400 No, it's just spit and margarine. 60 00:02:35,760 --> 00:02:37,240 I'm hungry. 61 00:02:38,880 --> 00:02:41,080 I feel like I should call a social worker... 62 00:02:41,800 --> 00:02:44,030 .. hold a sponsored swim. 63 00:02:44,080 --> 00:02:45,670 Jumanji! 64 00:02:45,720 --> 00:02:47,630 Oh, God, how long have I been out? 65 00:02:47,680 --> 00:02:49,710 I know I did the disclosure application for Martin 66 00:02:49,760 --> 00:02:52,360 and the witness summons for Christina. Right, OK... 67 00:02:53,400 --> 00:02:54,910 You're a bit smudged. 68 00:02:54,960 --> 00:02:56,120 Right, OK. Brrrrr! 69 00:02:57,320 --> 00:02:59,350 She's doing work for Martin?! 70 00:02:59,400 --> 00:03:00,790 I almost outrank Martin. 71 00:03:00,840 --> 00:03:02,670 No-one big in Chambers will look at her. 72 00:03:02,720 --> 00:03:06,110 I still can't work out how the cafetiere thing got out. 73 00:03:06,160 --> 00:03:08,190 Yeah. It's hard to say, isn't it? 74 00:03:08,240 --> 00:03:11,590 I guess things like that just do. Big gossip. People talking. 75 00:03:11,640 --> 00:03:12,760 Where's my pen? 76 00:03:16,520 --> 00:03:18,110 Evening, homies. Everyone coming 77 00:03:18,160 --> 00:03:20,030 to the Young Bar Society party tomorrow? 78 00:03:20,080 --> 00:03:22,310 I'm going to be saying a few unkind words on the subject 79 00:03:22,360 --> 00:03:24,430 of Weatheridge's legal aid reforms. 80 00:03:24,480 --> 00:03:27,590 No doubt Danielle has fed you the advance beef. Strike action? 81 00:03:27,640 --> 00:03:30,590 It's inspiring, Ashley. I was saying to Will just now, 82 00:03:30,640 --> 00:03:32,910 it's a shame the miners didn't have you in the nineties. 83 00:03:32,960 --> 00:03:35,270 - Or eighties. I mean, I was just a kid. - Yeah, I'm just saying, 84 00:03:35,320 --> 00:03:37,430 if you'd have been there, we'd have a shitload more coal 85 00:03:37,480 --> 00:03:40,030 and northern people would still be respected. 86 00:03:40,080 --> 00:03:41,070 Wow! 87 00:03:41,120 --> 00:03:42,950 Will, you've got my coat. 88 00:03:43,000 --> 00:03:45,430 Caroline, will I be seeing you tomorrow night? 89 00:03:45,480 --> 00:03:49,710 No. I don't know why you bother. Isn't it just some desperate ploy 90 00:03:49,760 --> 00:03:52,550 to convince the QC committee that you're a leader of men? 91 00:03:52,600 --> 00:03:54,070 Be sensible, Caroline. 92 00:03:54,120 --> 00:03:57,110 The Weatheridge Report's legal aid reforms are a very serious matter. 93 00:03:57,160 --> 00:03:59,910 And if my leadership role helps my case for silk, 94 00:03:59,960 --> 00:04:01,990 then that is a pleasant side effect of a righteous cause. 95 00:04:02,040 --> 00:04:03,430 Yes, well, I'm not coming. 96 00:04:03,480 --> 00:04:06,030 And if I'm pissed as a newt watching Bake Off at 9pm, 97 00:04:06,080 --> 00:04:08,880 that will be a pleasant side effect of not giving an arse. 98 00:04:15,240 --> 00:04:18,270 Poor Caroline. Doesn't get out much since the divorce. 99 00:04:18,320 --> 00:04:19,750 Caroline's divorced? 100 00:04:19,800 --> 00:04:21,150 Yeah. Six months. 101 00:04:21,200 --> 00:04:23,000 She never mentioned that. 102 00:04:23,960 --> 00:04:25,790 I've been spending all day with her for months. 103 00:04:25,840 --> 00:04:28,150 Caroline's the private sort. Anyway, see you tomorrow. 104 00:04:28,200 --> 00:04:31,390 It'll be brutal politics, I guarantee it. 105 00:04:31,440 --> 00:04:33,950 Oh, shit. Danielle, why has the venue just cancelled? 106 00:04:34,000 --> 00:04:36,150 Did you put the deposit down to guarantee it? 107 00:04:36,200 --> 00:04:38,150 Oh, fuck. 108 00:04:38,200 --> 00:04:42,070 Erm, find me another venue. Please? Somewhere cool. 109 00:04:42,120 --> 00:04:43,760 Yeah. Yeah, no problem. 110 00:04:45,200 --> 00:04:47,150 - Do it for me. - Yeah, right...! 111 00:04:47,200 --> 00:04:48,270 - Please. - Fuck off. 112 00:04:48,320 --> 00:04:49,470 Shit! 113 00:04:49,520 --> 00:04:51,710 I haven't got time to dick around with... 114 00:04:51,760 --> 00:04:53,200 I've got to do this. 115 00:04:54,360 --> 00:04:55,510 Pia? 116 00:04:55,560 --> 00:04:58,120 Any chance you've got time to do a job for Ashley? 117 00:04:59,120 --> 00:05:00,160 Mm-hm! 118 00:05:05,240 --> 00:05:08,270 Can't believe Caroline's divorced. 119 00:05:08,320 --> 00:05:09,990 I mean, I guess it explains a lot. 120 00:05:10,040 --> 00:05:12,070 The coldness, the shut-offness... 121 00:05:12,120 --> 00:05:16,150 - Literally everyone over 35 is divorced. - That's not true. 122 00:05:16,200 --> 00:05:17,990 My parents aren't divorced. 123 00:05:18,040 --> 00:05:19,350 Right. 124 00:05:19,400 --> 00:05:20,710 - What is that? - No, nothing. 125 00:05:20,760 --> 00:05:22,710 Something just clicked into place there. 126 00:05:22,760 --> 00:05:24,430 Do you know what I mean, though? 127 00:05:24,480 --> 00:05:26,310 Cos I've always been a bit scared of Caroline. 128 00:05:26,360 --> 00:05:30,310 - But it's like with wild animals, isn't it? They're scared of you, too. - Insightful. 129 00:05:30,360 --> 00:05:32,230 Just got to know how to handle them. 130 00:05:32,280 --> 00:05:33,990 Shit, I'm out of battery. 131 00:05:34,040 --> 00:05:36,550 Can I use yours to send an e-mail to my phone, please? 132 00:05:36,600 --> 00:05:38,830 - Erm, yeah. - OK. 133 00:05:38,880 --> 00:05:41,030 Oh-ho-ho! 134 00:05:41,080 --> 00:05:43,070 - What's that? - Can you give it back, please? 135 00:05:43,120 --> 00:05:44,750 - Stalking! - Please can you...? Please! 136 00:05:44,800 --> 00:05:46,350 Stalky stalky stalker! 137 00:05:46,400 --> 00:05:48,390 I'm not a stalker. It looks like that, 138 00:05:48,440 --> 00:05:51,710 but, actually, I'm visiting that page because I'm... interested in art. 139 00:05:51,760 --> 00:05:53,950 - You're interested in art? - Yes. - You are, are you? 140 00:05:54,000 --> 00:05:55,230 Yes. 141 00:05:55,280 --> 00:05:57,390 Who's your favourite artist? 142 00:05:57,440 --> 00:05:58,640 Banksy. 143 00:05:59,680 --> 00:06:00,670 Banksy. 144 00:06:00,720 --> 00:06:02,880 What? It is. I love Banksy. 145 00:06:13,280 --> 00:06:16,070 - Of course it's sexual. - Oh, come on, Miles. 146 00:06:16,120 --> 00:06:19,510 He's cutting out fabric. What's he going to do, make a really raunchy quilt? 147 00:06:19,560 --> 00:06:21,390 Caroline, my kids are all under six 148 00:06:21,440 --> 00:06:23,590 and have minds as pure as San Pellegrino, 149 00:06:23,640 --> 00:06:27,510 but even they'd know that a chap doesn't hack at 500 dresses 150 00:06:27,560 --> 00:06:29,070 unless it gives him a boner. 151 00:06:29,120 --> 00:06:31,270 We've got an expert. Dr Khaled. 152 00:06:31,320 --> 00:06:32,910 Hey, Miles. How's tricks? 153 00:06:32,960 --> 00:06:35,990 Yes. And what does Dr Khaled say? 154 00:06:36,040 --> 00:06:38,150 - We don't know yet. We only called him... - Shut up, Will. 155 00:06:38,200 --> 00:06:40,270 - Sorry, yeah. - He'll say it's compulsive behaviour 156 00:06:40,320 --> 00:06:42,670 - with no sexual element. - Really? 157 00:06:42,720 --> 00:06:46,310 Because the only compulsive behaviour I'm seeing is, erm... 158 00:06:46,360 --> 00:06:47,550 .. ooh, Little Miss Winnypants here. 159 00:06:47,600 --> 00:06:49,510 - Don't call me that. - Well, it's understandable, 160 00:06:49,560 --> 00:06:51,030 I am a bit better. 161 00:06:51,080 --> 00:06:54,430 Wouldn't say you were better. Smugger, maybe. Clinging harder 162 00:06:54,480 --> 00:06:56,030 to your fading youth, perhaps. 163 00:06:56,480 --> 00:06:58,430 You know Caroline was MY pupil once? 164 00:06:58,480 --> 00:07:00,160 Oh, right! 165 00:07:01,320 --> 00:07:02,390 There's Dr Khaled. 166 00:07:02,440 --> 00:07:05,430 You never mentioned that Miles was your pupil master. 167 00:07:05,480 --> 00:07:07,030 I'm not proud of it. 168 00:07:07,080 --> 00:07:10,630 Look at him, swaggering around like David Davis after a wank. 169 00:07:10,680 --> 00:07:13,150 Why'd you never mention it? I bet there's loads of interesting things 170 00:07:13,200 --> 00:07:14,350 you've never mentioned. 171 00:07:14,400 --> 00:07:16,390 Will, here's Dr Khaled, our expert witness. 172 00:07:16,440 --> 00:07:18,670 Hello. I'm sorry I'm late. 173 00:07:18,720 --> 00:07:21,470 So, the defence is that the dress-cutting is a habitual thing 174 00:07:21,520 --> 00:07:22,590 with no sexual intent. 175 00:07:22,640 --> 00:07:26,870 Right. That's what they're going with, is it? Ah, that's ridiculous. 176 00:07:26,920 --> 00:07:28,790 We're the defendant. 177 00:07:28,840 --> 00:07:30,750 Oh, shit. 178 00:07:30,800 --> 00:07:34,190 OK, that's interesting. Erm, yeah, no, that happens all the time. 179 00:07:34,240 --> 00:07:36,270 That's... that's entirely possible. 180 00:07:36,320 --> 00:07:37,710 You just said it was ridiculous. 181 00:07:37,760 --> 00:07:39,670 It is. It is ridiculous. 182 00:07:39,720 --> 00:07:41,390 Erm, but it's entirely possible. 183 00:07:41,440 --> 00:07:44,190 Oh, come on, we're talking about the human mind here. 184 00:07:44,240 --> 00:07:46,350 It's a multimodal, contradictory mystery. 185 00:07:46,400 --> 00:07:48,150 Try spinning round and saying that three times. 186 00:07:48,200 --> 00:07:50,910 I've got another case tomorrow morning. Can you get me on before then? 187 00:07:50,960 --> 00:07:53,110 Erm, yes, I reckon. 188 00:07:53,160 --> 00:07:55,710 - Good. - I've got to... get ready. 189 00:07:55,760 --> 00:07:57,630 So, what's the case about tomorrow? 190 00:07:57,680 --> 00:07:59,840 Oh, I dunno. I haven't looked at it yet. 191 00:08:00,840 --> 00:08:04,140 I'm saying she's guilty, but I just haven't filled in the details, so... 192 00:08:07,760 --> 00:08:10,270 "Now, you might think the Young Barristers of the London Central Circuit 193 00:08:10,320 --> 00:08:14,030 "have nothing better to do than party, and normally you'd be right." 194 00:08:14,080 --> 00:08:15,110 Big laugh there. 195 00:08:15,160 --> 00:08:17,910 "But we've gone over Lord Weatheridge's proposals, 196 00:08:17,960 --> 00:08:22,670 "and to quote Shawn Carter, otherwise known as Jay-Z, it's got 99 problems... 197 00:08:22,720 --> 00:08:24,230 ".. at least..." 198 00:08:24,280 --> 00:08:25,430 Yeah. 199 00:08:25,480 --> 00:08:29,430 ".. which is why, not content with a Retort to the Report, 200 00:08:29,480 --> 00:08:33,390 "we're gonna bust a new rhyme. It's time to Withdraw for the Law." 201 00:08:33,440 --> 00:08:36,870 Big graphic comes up. Boom. Sound effect. 202 00:08:36,920 --> 00:08:39,600 "And, yes, I do mean strike action." 203 00:08:41,720 --> 00:08:42,910 I'm not overplaying that, am I? 204 00:08:42,960 --> 00:08:44,190 Overplaying what? 205 00:08:44,240 --> 00:08:46,430 That's exactly the answer I was looking for. 206 00:08:46,480 --> 00:08:50,430 So, is everything OK for the party? The new venue, it's... edge? 207 00:08:50,480 --> 00:08:52,550 Very... edge. 208 00:08:52,600 --> 00:08:54,670 It's... it's all sorted. 209 00:08:54,720 --> 00:08:56,840 Bloody well done. Such short notice. 210 00:08:57,840 --> 00:08:59,990 - Couldn't do it without you. - Yeah. 211 00:09:00,040 --> 00:09:03,310 "He didn't mean to?" Is that honestly our defence? 212 00:09:03,360 --> 00:09:04,990 Maybe he DIDN'T mean to. 213 00:09:05,040 --> 00:09:09,550 What do you mean to do? Things happen. You respond naturally or you don't. 214 00:09:09,600 --> 00:09:13,630 Does a drug addict mean to get high or an angry man mean to lash out? 215 00:09:13,680 --> 00:09:16,030 Did I mean to run out of underwear this morning? 216 00:09:16,080 --> 00:09:19,230 No. Sometimes shit just happens. People shouldn't be so judgmental. 217 00:09:19,280 --> 00:09:21,870 Yeah, but by that thinking, no-one would be guilty of anything ever 218 00:09:21,920 --> 00:09:23,760 and there'd be no such thing as crime. 219 00:09:24,720 --> 00:09:26,620 Yeah, you're right. I was just riffing. 220 00:09:28,920 --> 00:09:32,790 Members of the jury, in this case, 221 00:09:32,840 --> 00:09:36,080 I'm going to ask you to apply your knowledge of the world. 222 00:09:37,480 --> 00:09:39,950 I don't think any of us were born yesterday, 223 00:09:40,000 --> 00:09:42,590 but if you were, happy birthday. 224 00:09:44,920 --> 00:09:49,870 This is what we psychiatrists call "unusual and unprecedented compulsion". 225 00:09:49,920 --> 00:09:53,510 And where could this... compulsion come from? 226 00:09:53,560 --> 00:09:54,670 I dunno. 227 00:09:54,720 --> 00:09:57,070 Er, his mother? His upbringing? 228 00:09:57,120 --> 00:09:59,220 Could be literally anything. You name it. 229 00:10:02,480 --> 00:10:04,080 Thank you. 230 00:10:07,560 --> 00:10:09,480 Could the compulsion be sexual? 231 00:10:11,600 --> 00:10:12,640 No... 232 00:10:15,720 --> 00:10:16,760 No. 233 00:10:17,920 --> 00:10:19,030 Why not? 234 00:10:19,080 --> 00:10:20,870 Erm... 235 00:10:20,920 --> 00:10:23,800 Just seems really unlikely, I think. 236 00:10:25,400 --> 00:10:27,300 In my professional opinion, that's... 237 00:10:38,360 --> 00:10:40,030 Do you think Miles was a bit soft 238 00:10:40,080 --> 00:10:42,030 - on Dr Khaled? - He's weakened lately. 239 00:10:42,080 --> 00:10:44,030 Fatherhood, probably. 240 00:10:44,080 --> 00:10:45,120 Yeah. 241 00:10:46,560 --> 00:10:49,560 So, Ashley mentioned that you got divorced recently. 242 00:10:50,520 --> 00:10:52,190 That is true. 243 00:10:52,240 --> 00:10:54,150 Do you think maybe... you want to talk about it? 244 00:10:54,200 --> 00:10:56,510 - What the fuck is this? - No, it's just... 245 00:10:56,560 --> 00:10:59,270 .. I realise that we don't really know that much about each other, 246 00:10:59,320 --> 00:11:02,990 and isn't that weird? I mean, we spend an awful lot of time together. 247 00:11:03,040 --> 00:11:04,870 Oh, my God, you're in love with me. 248 00:11:04,920 --> 00:11:06,870 - Sorry? - I don't blame you. 249 00:11:06,920 --> 00:11:09,270 - It was bound to happen. - All I mean is... 250 00:11:10,320 --> 00:11:11,270 .. that it might be nice 251 00:11:11,320 --> 00:11:13,630 .. for us to get to know each other a bit. Like, maybe we could go bowling. 252 00:11:13,680 --> 00:11:16,630 - Yeah, no, take it. Obviously, take it. - Caroline, it's Fiona. 253 00:11:16,680 --> 00:11:18,350 Oh, yeah. What do you want? 254 00:11:18,400 --> 00:11:20,950 The Young Bar Society event tonight. You're going, aren't you? 255 00:11:21,000 --> 00:11:24,390 No, wasn't planning on going. Why? 256 00:11:24,440 --> 00:11:25,670 Caroline, we spoke about this. 257 00:11:25,720 --> 00:11:28,790 It's important to seem like you care a little about the wider Bar. 258 00:11:28,840 --> 00:11:32,110 Go to the party. I want you to meet Toni Markham from the Female Bar Society. 259 00:11:32,160 --> 00:11:33,270 She can really help you. 260 00:11:33,320 --> 00:11:36,550 - Yeah, networking really isn't my thing. - She knows you're coming. 261 00:11:36,600 --> 00:11:39,350 Silk, Caroline, silk. 262 00:11:39,400 --> 00:11:40,060 Yeah... 263 00:11:45,640 --> 00:11:50,160 Erm... Yeah, Ashley's thing. I might... I might go tonight, actually. 264 00:11:51,120 --> 00:11:53,910 - Really? - Yeah. Might be fun. You're going, yeah? 265 00:11:53,960 --> 00:11:55,190 Yeah. 266 00:11:55,240 --> 00:11:57,000 Oh, cool. 267 00:12:10,960 --> 00:12:16,230 Caroline, Caroline! You came. That is so touching. It means so much to me. 268 00:12:16,280 --> 00:12:19,230 Yes, well, I like to support... colleagues. 269 00:12:19,280 --> 00:12:23,070 Toni! Toni, you came. That is so touching. It means so much to me. 270 00:12:23,120 --> 00:12:25,720 Ashley, our man of the moment! 271 00:12:37,200 --> 00:12:38,670 Hi. 272 00:12:38,720 --> 00:12:42,270 - So, erm, what do you want to talk about? - You. Your life. 273 00:12:42,320 --> 00:12:44,270 Ha! Pick another topic. 274 00:12:44,320 --> 00:12:46,840 An old-fashioned, please. 275 00:12:48,520 --> 00:12:50,510 Jigsaw puzzles? 276 00:12:50,560 --> 00:12:53,070 I see Gary Cross from Lord Weatheridge's office is here. 277 00:12:53,120 --> 00:12:54,750 Does he know you're recommending strike action? 278 00:12:54,800 --> 00:12:55,910 Oh, yes. 279 00:12:55,960 --> 00:12:59,470 Collecting intel for his master. Well, I doubt I'll get a good review. 280 00:12:59,520 --> 00:13:01,510 Zero stars. Dangerously off-message. 281 00:13:01,560 --> 00:13:03,750 Ashley, you really are fantastically brave. 282 00:13:03,800 --> 00:13:05,990 Brave? Ha. I mean, what's brave? 283 00:13:06,040 --> 00:13:09,150 No, really. I mean, this could have a huge effect on your chances for silk. 284 00:13:09,200 --> 00:13:12,070 Now, Toni, that's neither here nor there. This is about principle, 285 00:13:12,120 --> 00:13:15,820 not about the positive or negative effects on one guy's silk application. 286 00:13:16,520 --> 00:13:18,110 Of course, yeah, because 287 00:13:18,160 --> 00:13:20,280 the effects will be negative. 288 00:13:21,480 --> 00:13:24,670 Er, negative? You-you think they'll be negative? 289 00:13:24,720 --> 00:13:28,710 Absolutely. It's a total disgrace that Weatheridge is on the selection panel. 290 00:13:28,760 --> 00:13:31,470 Lord Weatheridge is on the fucking selection panel? 291 00:13:31,520 --> 00:13:33,600 Sorry, I assumed you knew. 292 00:13:34,880 --> 00:13:35,920 Oh, I did. 293 00:13:37,040 --> 00:13:38,760 - Oh, it doesn't change a thing. - Great. 294 00:13:40,200 --> 00:13:42,790 And then, after the marketing job, I was in business for a while. 295 00:13:42,840 --> 00:13:44,470 So, I actually ran a popcorn start-up. 296 00:13:44,520 --> 00:13:46,670 - Popcorn? - Er, yeah, you know, the snack food? 297 00:13:46,720 --> 00:13:48,390 Yes, I have heard of popcorn. 298 00:13:48,440 --> 00:13:50,390 Yeah. It was really only a few years ago. 299 00:13:50,440 --> 00:13:51,830 So, we got in there. 300 00:13:51,880 --> 00:13:53,430 Sounds like a very wasted twenties. 301 00:13:53,480 --> 00:13:55,630 We were called Who's Your Poppa. 302 00:13:55,680 --> 00:13:57,630 And, er, so, there was, like, all these characters. 303 00:13:57,680 --> 00:13:59,950 There was Big Tom. He was the tomato flavour. 304 00:14:00,000 --> 00:14:02,110 And there was George Papadopoulos. 305 00:14:02,160 --> 00:14:04,430 He was the feta cheese flavour. We actually got 306 00:14:04,480 --> 00:14:06,030 quite a few complaints about him, because... 307 00:14:06,080 --> 00:14:08,830 - I need to go to the toilet. - Fair enough. It's a bad story. 308 00:14:08,880 --> 00:14:11,160 I lost confidence... in it. 309 00:14:18,640 --> 00:14:22,150 Danielle, slightly different take on the speech. 310 00:14:22,200 --> 00:14:25,710 - I think, in fact, I'd like you to do it. - Me? 311 00:14:25,760 --> 00:14:28,070 Ashley, I am not even fully qualified. 312 00:14:28,120 --> 00:14:29,830 Well, then, someone else, then. Someone younger. 313 00:14:29,880 --> 00:14:32,310 This is the Young Bar Society, for fuck's sake. I drive a Volvo. 314 00:14:32,360 --> 00:14:34,750 Hey, hey, hey, Ashley, listen. 315 00:14:34,800 --> 00:14:37,190 You are speaking up for something you believe in. 316 00:14:37,240 --> 00:14:39,110 That makes you young. 317 00:14:39,160 --> 00:14:43,440 Age is not the capacity of your car boot, it is the size of your heart. 318 00:14:45,680 --> 00:14:48,190 Yes, you're right. It's about principles. 319 00:14:48,240 --> 00:14:49,520 Just principles. 320 00:14:53,000 --> 00:14:54,080 Mad fucker! 321 00:15:01,360 --> 00:15:03,040 Caroline Bratt, is it? 322 00:15:04,280 --> 00:15:06,830 Yes. Yes. Bratt. 323 00:15:06,880 --> 00:15:10,070 And you are Toni Markham. I know who you are, too. 324 00:15:10,120 --> 00:15:11,430 Good! 325 00:15:11,480 --> 00:15:13,830 And that is an old-fashioned you have there. 326 00:15:13,880 --> 00:15:15,550 Yes. Yes, it is. Well, no, I mean, 327 00:15:15,600 --> 00:15:17,790 the ones here are shit. They put sugar in them. 328 00:15:17,840 --> 00:15:19,830 Well, that's ridiculous. Without sugar, it's just whisky. 329 00:15:19,880 --> 00:15:22,110 Well, no, because of the sweetness of the cherry. 330 00:15:22,160 --> 00:15:24,710 No, because no decent old-fashioned has a cherry. Just orange. 331 00:15:24,760 --> 00:15:26,990 That's the most stupid fucking thing I have ever heard. Orange bitters, maybe. 332 00:15:27,040 --> 00:15:30,140 Orange bitters are for imbeciles and the lower types of moron. 333 00:15:32,120 --> 00:15:34,350 - Good to meet you, Caroline. - Yes! 334 00:15:34,400 --> 00:15:37,550 Toni. Nice... crossing swords with you, too. 335 00:15:37,600 --> 00:15:39,120 I'll be in touch. 336 00:15:41,520 --> 00:15:42,560 Bye... Toni. 337 00:15:50,960 --> 00:15:52,830 I just networked. 338 00:15:52,880 --> 00:15:55,190 I did. I networked! 339 00:15:55,240 --> 00:15:56,950 Let's get smashed. 340 00:15:57,000 --> 00:15:58,430 Ladies and gentlemen... 341 00:15:58,480 --> 00:15:59,910 - Wow! - .. a little quiet, please. 342 00:15:59,960 --> 00:16:03,950 Our President, Mr Ashley Jeevaratnam, 343 00:16:04,000 --> 00:16:05,590 is in the house! 344 00:16:12,640 --> 00:16:14,920 Hello. It's lovely to see you all. 345 00:16:23,760 --> 00:16:27,070 Now... you might think that the Young Barristers 346 00:16:27,120 --> 00:16:29,190 of the London Central Circuit 347 00:16:29,240 --> 00:16:31,430 would have nothing better to do than party, 348 00:16:31,480 --> 00:16:32,950 and normally you'd be right! 349 00:16:36,000 --> 00:16:38,270 But we've gone over Lord Weatheridge's proposals, 350 00:16:38,320 --> 00:16:40,920 and to quote Shawn Carter, otherwise known as Jay-Z... 351 00:16:46,800 --> 00:16:48,200 .. let's compromise... 352 00:16:49,680 --> 00:16:51,350 .. because these proposals are controversial, 353 00:16:51,400 --> 00:16:53,910 but the basis of our whole justice system is 354 00:16:53,960 --> 00:16:56,160 argument between two sides, which is why... 355 00:16:58,320 --> 00:17:01,950 Yes... which is why we say 356 00:17:02,000 --> 00:17:04,870 to those who criticise the Weatheridge report, 357 00:17:04,920 --> 00:17:09,710 withdraw, for the... sake of the entire legal profession. 358 00:17:09,760 --> 00:17:11,590 No. We don't. 359 00:17:11,640 --> 00:17:13,510 Er, don't we? 360 00:17:13,560 --> 00:17:14,810 We're going on strike. 361 00:17:15,560 --> 00:17:17,150 Strike. Oh, gosh. 362 00:17:17,200 --> 00:17:18,950 Well, that's, er, news to me. 363 00:17:19,000 --> 00:17:21,230 So I say to you then, withdraw 364 00:17:21,280 --> 00:17:23,070 from striking... 365 00:17:23,120 --> 00:17:24,390 .. er, for the law can endure. 366 00:17:24,440 --> 00:17:26,070 Compromise is the prize. 367 00:17:26,120 --> 00:17:27,990 Bustin' rhymes here. 368 00:17:28,040 --> 00:17:30,670 OK, er, enjoy the party. Erm... 369 00:17:30,720 --> 00:17:32,200 .. shout-out to the caterers. 370 00:17:33,160 --> 00:17:34,630 Music. 371 00:17:34,680 --> 00:17:36,870 Music. 372 00:17:40,960 --> 00:17:43,430 No rectal smoke. I loved that. 373 00:17:43,480 --> 00:17:46,360 And you're right, people just need to get round the table. 374 00:17:47,800 --> 00:17:49,270 What the fuck was that? 375 00:17:49,320 --> 00:17:50,750 Er, what was what? 376 00:17:50,800 --> 00:17:52,110 That! 377 00:17:52,160 --> 00:17:55,440 Toni... I don't know what you want from me. 378 00:18:07,200 --> 00:18:09,840 ♪ What are you like? 379 00:18:11,320 --> 00:18:14,680 ♪ You've had a right life 380 00:18:16,840 --> 00:18:20,320 ♪ And taken a long ride 381 00:18:22,840 --> 00:18:26,040 ♪ But, oh, what a cost... ♪ 382 00:18:28,320 --> 00:18:30,790 I'm not going to lie to you. The job gets to you. 383 00:18:30,840 --> 00:18:35,710 It's... It's long hours, you see some unpleasant stuff. 384 00:18:35,760 --> 00:18:38,870 It's... hard for people to understand. 385 00:18:38,920 --> 00:18:42,830 What I'm saying is you shouldn't feel too guilty about cheating on your girlfriend. 386 00:18:42,880 --> 00:18:45,510 - Oh, we're talking about that. - You know, we are in crime, 387 00:18:45,560 --> 00:18:48,330 and people in crime tend to be a bit naughty. 388 00:18:48,880 --> 00:18:51,080 No, no, Caroline, listen. 389 00:18:52,400 --> 00:18:54,790 I did a bad thing. 390 00:18:54,840 --> 00:18:57,360 But I've realised it's just a decision. 391 00:18:58,280 --> 00:19:01,110 - It's just a decision. - Yeah. It's not about what you want, 392 00:19:01,160 --> 00:19:05,920 because everybody wants lovely, bad things sometimes. Well, maybe a lot of the time. 393 00:19:07,160 --> 00:19:09,150 You just choose the good thing. 394 00:19:09,200 --> 00:19:13,390 And maybe, like, sometimes the good thing feels like 395 00:19:13,440 --> 00:19:15,230 it's getting a bit boring, or maybe 396 00:19:15,280 --> 00:19:20,470 perhaps you wonder if you met the good thing when you were a little bit young 397 00:19:20,520 --> 00:19:25,550 and if things are changing. I mean, that's OK, I guess. Like, we're all human. 398 00:19:25,600 --> 00:19:27,560 More old-fashioneds. 399 00:19:29,680 --> 00:19:32,670 - Hey, Will. - Hey, Pia. Great place for a party. 400 00:19:32,720 --> 00:19:34,630 - You should know. - Yeah! 401 00:19:34,680 --> 00:19:36,080 I should... 402 00:19:38,220 --> 00:19:41,080 - Awww! - Sorry. Sorry. 403 00:19:54,960 --> 00:19:56,400 Shit... 404 00:19:58,400 --> 00:20:00,190 Pia? Pia? 405 00:20:00,240 --> 00:20:01,870 Hi. What did you mean just then 406 00:20:01,920 --> 00:20:03,350 when you said that I should know? 407 00:20:03,400 --> 00:20:05,270 Don't be silly. You know this place. 408 00:20:05,320 --> 00:20:07,310 No, I don't. I know OF this place. 409 00:20:07,360 --> 00:20:08,870 I was desperate to find a cool venue. 410 00:20:08,920 --> 00:20:10,790 And then, weirdly, you left your laptop 411 00:20:10,840 --> 00:20:13,470 with this place's web page open, so I called them up. 412 00:20:13,520 --> 00:20:15,160 - It's all down to you. - Oh! 413 00:20:31,600 --> 00:20:33,750 This is bad. This is really bad. 414 00:20:33,800 --> 00:20:34,990 Mm. I know. 415 00:20:35,040 --> 00:20:36,750 I come back to get my gym bag to find 416 00:20:36,800 --> 00:20:38,600 Mr Raincheck has tracked me down. 417 00:20:39,560 --> 00:20:41,800 - I didn't track you down. - Course not. 418 00:20:45,960 --> 00:20:48,750 - OK, I've been thinking about you a lot. - Mm-hm. 419 00:20:48,800 --> 00:20:50,390 But I just want you to know that 420 00:20:50,440 --> 00:20:52,830 whatever we do tonight, it has to stop here. 421 00:20:52,880 --> 00:20:54,870 Well, we can't do anything tonight. 422 00:20:54,920 --> 00:20:56,480 My boyfriend's at my place. 423 00:20:58,280 --> 00:21:01,030 - Sorry, did you say boyfriend? - Mm-hm. 424 00:21:01,080 --> 00:21:03,030 You never said you had a boyfriend last time. 425 00:21:03,080 --> 00:21:06,790 Well, I would have, but you were rattling on about your girlfriend so much, 426 00:21:06,840 --> 00:21:08,120 the mood was flagging. 427 00:21:09,080 --> 00:21:13,030 This is good. This is actually quite good, because it means we're on the same page. 428 00:21:13,080 --> 00:21:15,360 Like, I know this sounds weird, but... 429 00:21:17,400 --> 00:21:20,710 .. I kind of feel like I just need to get you out of my system 430 00:21:20,760 --> 00:21:25,070 and, like, maybe you just need to get me out of your system. 431 00:21:25,620 --> 00:21:28,160 Look, you turned me down, Will. 432 00:21:29,560 --> 00:21:32,910 If you need a rewind, make an effort. 433 00:21:32,960 --> 00:21:35,360 Take me somewhere nice. 434 00:21:38,920 --> 00:21:40,560 Or be good. 435 00:21:52,760 --> 00:21:54,710 Baby, can you fetch my bag? 436 00:21:54,760 --> 00:21:56,280 Er, yep. Yep. 437 00:21:57,280 --> 00:21:59,960 Right leg, left leg... 438 00:22:01,720 --> 00:22:03,310 There you go. OK, just, um... 439 00:22:03,360 --> 00:22:04,790 Watch out. 440 00:22:04,840 --> 00:22:08,030 OK, just steady yourself, and then... Is this your house? 441 00:22:08,080 --> 00:22:10,110 - Oh, yeah. Cool. - OK. 442 00:22:10,160 --> 00:22:11,840 - Cool. - What you doing? OK... 443 00:22:14,360 --> 00:22:15,330 Ooh! 444 00:22:15,880 --> 00:22:18,430 - Er... - So, thank you so much. 445 00:22:18,480 --> 00:22:22,990 Yeah. Erm, OK, I'll put the keys here, and then, er, you all right? 446 00:22:23,040 --> 00:22:24,070 I feel a bit sick. 447 00:22:24,120 --> 00:22:26,830 Maybe if we just sit you down on this step. 448 00:22:26,880 --> 00:22:27,950 So, was that the juror? 449 00:22:28,000 --> 00:22:29,950 - Er... Er, yeah. - Did well. 450 00:22:30,000 --> 00:22:31,750 - Let's just sit down. - Why not? 451 00:22:31,800 --> 00:22:33,830 - So you don't hurt yourself. - Ooh! 452 00:22:33,880 --> 00:22:35,840 - Oh, Caroline. - Oh, God. 453 00:22:42,080 --> 00:22:43,250 A man... 454 00:22:43,800 --> 00:22:45,110 .. arrives! 455 00:22:45,160 --> 00:22:49,560 I have to be on the 12.12 or I'm in trouble, but we still have time. 456 00:22:50,800 --> 00:22:51,590 Will! 457 00:22:52,640 --> 00:22:54,990 - Hey. - Hey. 458 00:22:55,040 --> 00:22:56,800 Er... Caroline... 459 00:22:58,400 --> 00:23:00,550 .. I thought I should return your keys. 460 00:23:00,600 --> 00:23:03,510 Remember? I had to borrow them... 461 00:23:03,560 --> 00:23:05,870 .. er, last week... 462 00:23:05,920 --> 00:23:07,840 .. when I came to... collect... 463 00:23:13,960 --> 00:23:15,030 .. a bicycle? 464 00:23:15,080 --> 00:23:16,480 What? 465 00:23:18,760 --> 00:23:20,270 Oh, er, yes, the... 466 00:23:20,320 --> 00:23:23,110 .. bicycle, which you're very welcome to. And thank you for the keys. 467 00:23:23,160 --> 00:23:24,630 Great. So, erm... 468 00:23:25,680 --> 00:23:28,710 I've dropped them off. Sorry it's so late. 469 00:23:28,760 --> 00:23:31,030 - Sorry, Will. - Oh, that's OK. 470 00:23:31,080 --> 00:23:33,230 So, I should probably be heading off. 471 00:23:33,280 --> 00:23:35,390 - Yes, yes. - See you later. 472 00:23:35,440 --> 00:23:38,550 I should probably, erm, stay to... 473 00:23:38,600 --> 00:23:41,990 - Help with the dishes. - Yes, you could do with some help with those, could you? 474 00:23:42,040 --> 00:23:44,640 Er, night. Night, Will. Bye. 475 00:24:19,200 --> 00:24:20,950 Sorry. 476 00:24:21,000 --> 00:24:23,070 Sorry. Sorry. 477 00:24:23,120 --> 00:24:24,160 - Caroline. - Mm. 478 00:24:26,400 --> 00:24:27,430 Will! 479 00:24:27,480 --> 00:24:29,200 Hi. 480 00:24:48,000 --> 00:24:49,960 So you admit to the jury... 481 00:24:51,840 --> 00:24:54,110 Sorry. 482 00:24:54,160 --> 00:24:56,390 You admit to the jury that you cut 483 00:24:56,440 --> 00:24:58,990 - these squares out of women's dresses. - Yes. 484 00:24:59,040 --> 00:25:01,960 It's an odd compulsion of mine, but quite innocent. 485 00:25:03,160 --> 00:25:05,550 I don't know why I do it, for the life of me. 486 00:25:05,600 --> 00:25:07,920 In my youth, I loved fashion. 487 00:25:09,480 --> 00:25:10,990 Thank you. 488 00:25:11,040 --> 00:25:14,280 My colleague Mr Flynn might have some questions for you. 489 00:25:18,280 --> 00:25:21,390 Mr Frobisher, erm, for clarity, 490 00:25:21,440 --> 00:25:26,510 I'm going to take you through the process of this... compulsion. Is that OK? 491 00:25:26,560 --> 00:25:27,840 Of course. 492 00:25:29,200 --> 00:25:30,590 You see a woman 493 00:25:30,640 --> 00:25:33,790 wearing a dress you like on the Tube, yes? 494 00:25:33,840 --> 00:25:35,350 That's correct. 495 00:25:35,400 --> 00:25:37,790 You follow her on the down escalator. 496 00:25:37,840 --> 00:25:41,230 Her neck is at your chest or stomach level. 497 00:25:41,280 --> 00:25:43,110 That's right. 498 00:25:43,160 --> 00:25:44,710 Slowly you reach 499 00:25:44,760 --> 00:25:47,040 into your bag to retrieve your scissors. 500 00:25:48,000 --> 00:25:50,870 They're cold, smooth. 501 00:25:50,920 --> 00:25:55,590 The material of the dress flutters slightly 502 00:25:55,640 --> 00:25:58,310 in the almost imperceptible breeze of the Tube. 503 00:25:58,360 --> 00:25:59,830 God, he's lost it. 504 00:25:59,880 --> 00:26:01,480 You raise the scissors... 505 00:26:03,120 --> 00:26:04,990 .. and you cut. 506 00:26:05,040 --> 00:26:06,080 Snip. 507 00:26:07,520 --> 00:26:09,230 Snip. 508 00:26:09,280 --> 00:26:11,240 Snip. 509 00:26:13,120 --> 00:26:14,110 Yes. 510 00:26:14,160 --> 00:26:16,310 The cloth comes away. 511 00:26:16,360 --> 00:26:19,950 You feel its warp, its weft in your fingers 512 00:26:20,000 --> 00:26:22,400 and then, only then... 513 00:26:23,400 --> 00:26:25,400 .. you pocket it. 514 00:26:27,920 --> 00:26:30,830 No further questions, Your Honour. Mr Frobisher, you may step down. 515 00:26:30,880 --> 00:26:32,360 What, now? 516 00:26:34,400 --> 00:26:35,870 - There are no more questions? - No. 517 00:26:35,920 --> 00:26:37,550 Please step out of the box. 518 00:26:37,600 --> 00:26:40,710 - Fuck. - What? What's going on? 519 00:26:40,760 --> 00:26:43,150 - I think our client has got a boner. - Oh, God. 520 00:26:43,200 --> 00:26:46,150 Er, if I may, a few more questions, 521 00:26:46,200 --> 00:26:48,870 Mr Frobisher, what would your grandmother say 522 00:26:48,920 --> 00:26:51,110 about you collecting these swatches? 523 00:26:51,160 --> 00:26:54,110 - My... grandmother? - Yes, your withered grandmother, 524 00:26:54,160 --> 00:26:56,030 rotting in her grave. 525 00:26:56,080 --> 00:26:57,190 Or do you like cricket? 526 00:26:57,240 --> 00:27:00,110 Ms Bratt, are these questions strictly...? 527 00:27:00,160 --> 00:27:01,800 Good God. 528 00:27:09,480 --> 00:27:12,510 Members of the jury, I feel it should be noted 529 00:27:12,560 --> 00:27:14,030 that the defendant is currently 530 00:27:14,080 --> 00:27:16,950 sporting a particularly prominent erection. 531 00:27:18,840 --> 00:27:20,720 Make of that what you will. 532 00:27:23,480 --> 00:27:25,670 You'll probably just get a community order... 533 00:27:25,720 --> 00:27:29,630 .. or a few weeks, given you have done it 639 times. 534 00:27:29,680 --> 00:27:32,070 Well, we gave it a good shot. 535 00:27:32,120 --> 00:27:33,800 Oh, er, Will, did you, erm...? 536 00:27:35,960 --> 00:27:37,320 - Got you these. - Excellent! 537 00:27:38,680 --> 00:27:40,720 Air around the ankles. 538 00:27:41,680 --> 00:27:43,840 It's what life's about. 539 00:27:49,120 --> 00:27:50,920 - Poor guy. - Who? 540 00:27:51,880 --> 00:27:53,350 Oh, yeah, him. Erm, 541 00:27:53,400 --> 00:27:56,470 by the way, erm, you know what you saw last night? 542 00:27:56,520 --> 00:27:57,830 You know if you mention it... 543 00:27:57,880 --> 00:27:59,470 Sure. Tenancy gone. Life gone. 544 00:27:59,520 --> 00:28:03,390 Yeah, you get it. I mean, it's not as serious as it looks. 545 00:28:03,440 --> 00:28:05,270 - He just has a key to your house. - Sure. 546 00:28:05,320 --> 00:28:08,710 I mean, it's been going on for a while, but, you know, I can stop when I want. 547 00:28:08,760 --> 00:28:12,950 Yeah. And the thing you saw with me, again, just another one-off. 548 00:28:13,000 --> 00:28:14,630 Yeah, course. 549 00:28:14,680 --> 00:28:16,480 - We'll stop now. - Yeah. 550 00:28:17,720 --> 00:28:19,400 Yeah.