1
00:00:01,387 --> 00:00:04,687
Having a party. It's my birthday,
I can choose the food
2
00:00:04,743 --> 00:00:06,743
and the songs, can't I?
And the music we put on?
3
00:00:06,814 --> 00:00:08,214
Can I choose my presents?
4
00:00:08,214 --> 00:00:10,534
Well, no, cos then it wouldn't
be a surprise, would it?
5
00:00:10,534 --> 00:00:12,414
- I know what you want
for your birthday, mate.
- What?
6
00:00:12,414 --> 00:00:14,894
- Wanna pop your cherry, don't ya?
- What?
7
00:00:14,894 --> 00:00:16,694
I know what
he wants for his birthday.
8
00:00:16,694 --> 00:00:18,134
He needs to pop his cherry,
don't he?
9
00:00:18,134 --> 00:00:19,294
What's pop your cherry?
10
00:00:19,353 --> 00:00:20,393
Think. No.
11
00:00:20,393 --> 00:00:23,033
What've you got looks
like a cherry needs popping?
12
00:00:23,033 --> 00:00:25,913
End of your knob, mate!
Looks like a cherry, don't it?
13
00:00:25,913 --> 00:00:28,993
Needs popping, up a woman.
Innit, boys?
14
00:00:28,993 --> 00:00:31,753
The end of his knob looks like a
cherry needs popping up a woman.
15
00:00:31,753 --> 00:00:35,753
I've got an old walnut
if anybody's interested.
16
00:00:36,393 --> 00:00:38,593
'Suddenly, Derek's 50.'
17
00:00:38,593 --> 00:00:42,233
He's older than me.
Do you know how much older?
18
00:00:42,233 --> 00:00:46,233
Ten years. He's ten years older
than me. You'd never guess.
19
00:00:46,913 --> 00:00:49,593
And that niggles away at me
a little bit.
20
00:00:49,593 --> 00:00:52,753
He's ten years older but he's
younger in the head, no stress.
21
00:00:52,967 --> 00:00:54,527
Music, Robbie Williams...
22
00:00:54,527 --> 00:00:55,567
Yep.
23
00:00:55,567 --> 00:00:58,807
JLS, Susan Boyle, Stacey Solomon.
24
00:00:58,807 --> 00:01:03,827
That reminds me, sausage rolls, vol au
vents, chicken kievs, mini quiches...
25
00:01:03,855 --> 00:01:04,555
Hang on a minute,
26
00:01:04,571 --> 00:01:06,611
slow down a minute.
Sausage rolls...
27
00:01:10,131 --> 00:01:11,571
Eurgh!
28
00:01:11,571 --> 00:01:13,491
Just shat meself.
29
00:01:13,491 --> 00:01:15,171
Meeting's over.
You're disgusting.
30
00:01:17,291 --> 00:01:19,691
Fucking dis...
Let me have the keys to the flat.
31
00:01:19,691 --> 00:01:23,691
Change the old trousers.
32
00:01:25,491 --> 00:01:26,531
See you guys.
33
00:01:26,531 --> 00:01:29,851
'Interesting circle of friends,
haven't I, eh?'
34
00:01:29,851 --> 00:01:33,371
It's weird, cos I'm not proud
of me, you know, me own life.
35
00:01:33,371 --> 00:01:35,491
I haven't done anything special.
36
00:01:35,491 --> 00:01:39,491
I haven't sort of achieved anything
but I can say on me mother's life
37
00:01:39,571 --> 00:01:41,271
I have never shat me pants.
38
00:01:41,279 --> 00:01:47,414
Subtitles by MemoryOnSmells
http://UKsubtitles.ru.
39
00:02:02,331 --> 00:02:05,971
There's a new lady starting work
here today. Well, she's not starting
40
00:02:05,971 --> 00:02:09,971
work here, she's got to do community
service cos she broke the law.
41
00:02:10,211 --> 00:02:14,211
Nothing bad, she didn't hurt a baby
or an animal or anything like that,
42
00:02:14,691 --> 00:02:18,691
but now she just has to work
here to say sorry, for what she did.
43
00:02:21,451 --> 00:02:23,491
Lizzie? Why are you standing there?
44
00:02:23,491 --> 00:02:24,891
Where?
45
00:02:24,891 --> 00:02:26,011
There.
46
00:02:26,011 --> 00:02:27,971
Where, dear?
47
00:02:27,971 --> 00:02:30,811
There, where you're standing,
you're standing there.
48
00:02:30,811 --> 00:02:32,251
Am I?
49
00:02:32,251 --> 00:02:36,251
Yeah. Go and sit down, Lizzie.
Go and sit down.
50
00:02:40,611 --> 00:02:44,051
That's it.
51
00:02:44,051 --> 00:02:47,531
Yeah, when there's
a lot of community service people...
52
00:02:47,531 --> 00:02:49,211
Why are you filming her now?
53
00:02:49,465 --> 00:02:50,505
I was talking.
54
00:02:50,505 --> 00:02:52,465
Gosh.
55
00:02:52,465 --> 00:02:54,425
I'm not talking to you.
56
00:02:54,425 --> 00:02:57,745
- Who?
- You. It's ridiculous.
57
00:02:57,745 --> 00:03:00,225
I'll show her around,
I'll show her around.
58
00:03:00,271 --> 00:03:01,831
OK, this is Derek.
59
00:03:01,879 --> 00:03:03,559
This is Vicky.
Hello, Vicky.
60
00:03:03,559 --> 00:03:06,079
OK, you show her round
and introduce her to some residents,
61
00:03:06,079 --> 00:03:08,379
- then I'm going to show her
some work to get on with.
- Yeah, I'll show them round.
62
00:03:08,413 --> 00:03:11,733
He loves showing the community
service workers around.
63
00:03:11,745 --> 00:03:15,745
I got caught nicking
shoes from the shop I worked in.
64
00:03:17,065 --> 00:03:19,705
Nah, there's definitely
nothing to nick here.
65
00:03:19,705 --> 00:03:21,345
Smells funny as well.
I'll go round
66
00:03:21,345 --> 00:03:25,345
spraying my Intimately Beckham
everywhere, stops you feeling sick.
67
00:03:25,625 --> 00:03:29,105
That's Victoria Beckham's perfume.
68
00:03:29,105 --> 00:03:30,145
I think it's funny,
69
00:03:30,145 --> 00:03:33,905
like, she's called Victoria, I'm
called Victoria and we both turned
70
00:03:33,905 --> 00:03:37,905
out posh, like, and handbags
and that, you know what I mean?
71
00:03:38,625 --> 00:03:42,065
This carer's my mate.
He's not a resident here, too young.
72
00:03:42,065 --> 00:03:46,065
Arthur and Jack.
Jack, he likes jokes, don't you?
73
00:03:47,505 --> 00:03:49,265
He likes jokes.
74
00:03:49,265 --> 00:03:52,665
And if you likes jokes with swearing
and what are racist,
75
00:03:52,665 --> 00:03:55,425
then Arthur's your man.
76
00:03:55,425 --> 00:03:56,945
- All right?
- Yeah.
77
00:03:56,945 --> 00:04:00,065
Yeah? Come on, next.
78
00:04:00,065 --> 00:04:03,785
This is Joe and Silo.
79
00:04:03,785 --> 00:04:05,905
- Is he asleep?
- I hope so.
80
00:04:05,905 --> 00:04:07,505
Hey, Derek.
What?
81
00:04:07,724 --> 00:04:09,164
Want a joke, mate?
Go on.
82
00:04:09,164 --> 00:04:11,924
Right. Bloke walks into his
doctor's.
83
00:04:11,924 --> 00:04:13,084
Who? What bloke?
84
00:04:13,084 --> 00:04:14,964
It doesn't matter,
it's just a joke.
85
00:04:14,964 --> 00:04:17,964
Walks in the doctor's, said "I keep
thinking I'm a pair of curtains..."
86
00:04:18,052 --> 00:04:19,452
Is it a stroke?
What?
87
00:04:19,534 --> 00:04:21,194
You can think
things that aren't there,
88
00:04:21,271 --> 00:04:23,111
like burning toast.
There isn't any toast...
89
00:04:23,149 --> 00:04:26,009
It's not a bloody stroke!
Focus please, on the joke.
90
00:04:26,015 --> 00:04:29,213
Bloke walks into the doctor's, says "I
keep thinking I'm a pair of curtains..."
91
00:04:29,213 --> 00:04:31,573
And the doctor says,
"Pull yourself together then."
92
00:04:31,573 --> 00:04:32,613
Nervous breakdown?
93
00:04:32,613 --> 00:04:34,013
Forget it.
Alzheimer's?
94
00:04:34,013 --> 00:04:35,133
Forget it.
Alzheimer's.
95
00:04:35,133 --> 00:04:36,493
Forget the joke, mate.
96
00:04:36,493 --> 00:04:38,813
No, he means pull yourself
together...
97
00:04:38,813 --> 00:04:39,893
Like a pair of curtains.
98
00:04:39,893 --> 00:04:43,893
I pretends to not get jokes
cos it really annoys him.
99
00:04:47,173 --> 00:04:49,173
Right, let's get you all sorted.
100
00:04:49,173 --> 00:04:53,173
Oh, nice.
101
00:04:55,653 --> 00:04:57,333
What do you do normally then?
102
00:04:57,333 --> 00:04:58,853
What do you mean?
103
00:04:58,853 --> 00:05:00,413
For a job?
104
00:05:00,413 --> 00:05:04,213
I ain't got a job have I?
I got caught nicking shoes.
105
00:05:04,213 --> 00:05:06,613
Well,
is this something you'd like to do?
106
00:05:06,613 --> 00:05:07,973
I thought I had to do it?
107
00:05:07,973 --> 00:05:10,853
No, I mean for like a career
or something?
108
00:05:10,853 --> 00:05:13,213
Nah.
109
00:05:13,213 --> 00:05:15,813
Well, what would you like to do
then?
110
00:05:15,813 --> 00:05:19,813
Dunno. Kardashians and that.
111
00:05:23,053 --> 00:05:27,053
Brilliant. Right.
Let's get you started.
112
00:05:36,493 --> 00:05:40,493
Why've you got
a haircut like a paedophile?
113
00:05:40,613 --> 00:05:43,293
Good point.
114
00:05:43,293 --> 00:05:45,653
When are you
opening your salon again?
115
00:05:45,653 --> 00:05:49,653
Oh, why is everyone weird in here?
116
00:05:50,293 --> 00:05:52,653
'I know it's not a great hairstyle,
it's not a style,
117
00:05:52,653 --> 00:05:55,333
'I don't style it like this.
This is how it is.'
118
00:05:55,333 --> 00:05:58,373
What I find strange is the way it's
never come into fashion.
119
00:05:58,373 --> 00:06:01,133
When you think of all
the different things that have come
120
00:06:01,133 --> 00:06:05,133
and gone - platform shoes
and long sideburns, dungarees,
121
00:06:05,933 --> 00:06:09,773
this has never been picked up.
No heart throb in a Hollywood
122
00:06:09,773 --> 00:06:13,773
film has ever had this, and I just
feel like that that just sums
123
00:06:14,133 --> 00:06:17,253
it up, that's... I'm sort of unlucky
in life,
124
00:06:17,253 --> 00:06:20,813
I've got a shit haircut, forget it,
you're not gonna get anywhere.
125
00:06:20,813 --> 00:06:24,813
Yeah, I'd shave it off,
or wear a wig if I was you.
126
00:06:25,733 --> 00:06:28,693
What difference would it
make to me life?
127
00:06:28,693 --> 00:06:30,173
Seriously?
128
00:06:30,173 --> 00:06:33,333
Your head would be warmer.
129
00:06:33,333 --> 00:06:34,453
Good point.
130
00:06:34,453 --> 00:06:36,773
Well, the bedrooms are just
through this way.
131
00:06:36,773 --> 00:06:38,373
You're gonna help me make some
beds.
132
00:06:38,373 --> 00:06:42,133
Oh, that's nasty.
Do you have to touch anything?
133
00:06:42,133 --> 00:06:43,333
Well, yeah.
134
00:06:43,333 --> 00:06:44,853
Do you wear gloves?
135
00:06:44,853 --> 00:06:46,853
What? To change beds?
136
00:06:46,853 --> 00:06:48,933
Yeah, but old people bed, though.
137
00:06:48,933 --> 00:06:51,973
Well, I think it's better to save
the gloves for when you're doing
138
00:06:51,973 --> 00:06:55,213
the urinals, otherwise you don't
really feel the benefit.
139
00:06:55,213 --> 00:06:57,413
Fuck's sake.
140
00:06:57,413 --> 00:07:00,093
Do you answer your parents
back like that?
141
00:07:00,093 --> 00:07:02,853
No-one to answer back to,
we don't talk too much.
142
00:07:02,853 --> 00:07:06,093
Well, did you used to talk
to your teachers like that then?
143
00:07:06,093 --> 00:07:09,453
Yeah, all the time - dickheads.
144
00:07:09,453 --> 00:07:12,773
Except for Mr Matthews
who was quite fit.
145
00:07:12,773 --> 00:07:15,213
But didn't really go to
school much anyway.
146
00:07:15,213 --> 00:07:17,013
I didn't do that
well at school, you know.
147
00:07:17,013 --> 00:07:19,573
You can learn loads of stuff
outside school.
148
00:07:19,573 --> 00:07:21,693
You're never too old to learn
something.
149
00:07:21,693 --> 00:07:23,533
Do you read?
150
00:07:23,533 --> 00:07:25,333
Yeah.
151
00:07:25,333 --> 00:07:26,893
What do you read?
152
00:07:26,893 --> 00:07:30,093
Twitter.
153
00:07:30,093 --> 00:07:34,093
Well, OK...
154
00:07:40,533 --> 00:07:44,213
She's not a bad kid, she's
just never been told she'd amount to
155
00:07:44,213 --> 00:07:48,213
anything, she's never had any role
models, like teachers and authority
156
00:07:48,373 --> 00:07:52,373
figures, it's all celebrities now,
innit, and footballer's wives.
157
00:07:53,453 --> 00:07:56,573
Still, you know, I wouldn't mind
a bit of David Beckham,
158
00:07:56,573 --> 00:07:58,573
so long as he didn't speak.
159
00:07:58,573 --> 00:08:02,573
Wouldn't want him to speak.
He'd be mute.
160
00:08:03,493 --> 00:08:07,493
A mute Beckham would be lovely.
161
00:08:09,933 --> 00:08:12,893
Oh, fuck...
162
00:08:12,893 --> 00:08:15,653
they're having a laugh,
in't they?
163
00:08:15,653 --> 00:08:17,733
That is disgusting.
164
00:08:17,733 --> 00:08:21,733
Looks like it could still bite me
hand off.
165
00:08:30,733 --> 00:08:34,733
Well,
where do you get your nails done?
166
00:08:34,733 --> 00:08:36,173
Did 'em myself.
167
00:08:36,173 --> 00:08:37,893
Really?
168
00:08:37,893 --> 00:08:40,653
Yeah, duh.
169
00:08:40,653 --> 00:08:42,293
You're cleverer than me.
170
00:08:42,293 --> 00:08:45,333
Well you can't be very clever then
cos I'm thick.
171
00:08:45,333 --> 00:08:49,333
Don't think a thick person
could do art.
172
00:08:56,413 --> 00:08:57,493
Tea?
173
00:08:57,493 --> 00:09:00,213
Oh, yeah, how do you want it?
174
00:09:00,213 --> 00:09:02,373
I mean do you want a cup of tea?
175
00:09:02,373 --> 00:09:03,573
Sorry, you're busy.
176
00:09:03,573 --> 00:09:05,013
Oh, yeah, please.
177
00:09:05,013 --> 00:09:07,653
How do you take it?
178
00:09:07,653 --> 00:09:08,693
Two sugars?
179
00:09:08,693 --> 00:09:12,693
OK.
180
00:09:30,933 --> 00:09:33,173
Have you got a boyfriend?
181
00:09:33,173 --> 00:09:34,573
No, not at the moment.
182
00:09:34,573 --> 00:09:35,613
Not at the moment.
183
00:09:35,613 --> 00:09:37,133
Have you? No.
184
00:09:37,133 --> 00:09:38,973
Anyone takes your
fancy in here?
185
00:09:38,973 --> 00:09:40,413
Not really, no.
186
00:09:40,413 --> 00:09:42,413
Really? Oh, I dunno.
187
00:09:42,413 --> 00:09:45,013
No, my husband died
when he was quite young,
188
00:09:45,013 --> 00:09:49,013
and I never really found anybody
else, you know...
189
00:10:08,453 --> 00:10:12,453
Oh, hang on, Lizzie,
let me... let me...
190
00:10:44,333 --> 00:10:47,453
50 years old. I can't believe it.
I can't believe I'm 50.
191
00:10:47,453 --> 00:10:51,453
Well, 50's young.
I mean, 50's the new 40.
192
00:10:51,693 --> 00:10:52,973
Yep.
193
00:10:52,973 --> 00:10:56,613
60's the new 50,
then 70's the new 60.
194
00:10:56,613 --> 00:10:57,453
What's 80?
195
00:10:57,453 --> 00:10:59,813
80's still 80, you're fucked.
196
00:10:59,813 --> 00:11:01,293
What about 90?
197
00:11:01,293 --> 00:11:03,493
You don't have to worry about that.
198
00:11:03,493 --> 00:11:07,013
Lizzie's 80, ain't ya?
199
00:11:07,013 --> 00:11:08,253
Lizzie?
200
00:11:08,253 --> 00:11:10,013
You're 80.
201
00:11:10,013 --> 00:11:11,293
Am I?
202
00:11:11,293 --> 00:11:13,207
Yep.
203
00:11:17,761 --> 00:11:21,361
Oi. Why don't you take Derek
down the library now, a bit early,
204
00:11:21,423 --> 00:11:22,923
so I can make his birthday cake?
205
00:11:22,964 --> 00:11:25,164
- Now?
- Yeah.
206
00:11:25,164 --> 00:11:26,524
What?
207
00:11:26,524 --> 00:11:28,764
Just saying, maybe go down
the library a bit early.
208
00:11:28,764 --> 00:11:29,564
- Yeah.
- Yeah?
209
00:11:29,564 --> 00:11:31,244
Yeah? Yeah, get some books out.
210
00:11:31,244 --> 00:11:32,244
See you later then.
211
00:11:32,244 --> 00:11:33,184
See you later.
212
00:11:33,191 --> 00:11:33,871
We need Kev.
213
00:11:33,871 --> 00:11:34,991
We don't need Kev.
214
00:11:34,991 --> 00:11:36,751
- What?
- We don't need Kev.
215
00:11:36,751 --> 00:11:39,071
You shouldn't say that.
We don't need Kev. Never do.
216
00:11:39,071 --> 00:11:41,071
It's a sentence
that should never be said.
217
00:11:41,147 --> 00:11:41,947
Kev?
218
00:11:41,947 --> 00:11:43,267
Kev isn't needed, leave him.
219
00:11:43,267 --> 00:11:46,867
Kev. Coming to the library?
220
00:11:46,867 --> 00:11:50,347
We're going to the library. Take
some books back, get some books out.
221
00:11:50,347 --> 00:11:54,027
Once a week, and then read them,
bring 'em back,
222
00:11:54,027 --> 00:11:56,507
take 'em back out again, innit?
223
00:11:56,507 --> 00:11:59,667
Dougie takes us
to the library, don't you?
224
00:11:59,667 --> 00:12:01,547
It's just to get them
out the home, really.
225
00:12:01,547 --> 00:12:03,427
Some of them don't bother
getting a book.
226
00:12:03,427 --> 00:12:07,427
Hannah says, you know, get 'em out,
give 'em a bit of fresh air.
227
00:12:08,227 --> 00:12:10,147
Which is funny, really.
228
00:12:10,147 --> 00:12:14,147
When you're stuck on a bus with Kev,
you're getting very little
fresh air.
229
00:12:17,427 --> 00:12:19,427
Wait, wait, wait.
230
00:12:19,427 --> 00:12:22,467
Wait for everyone.
231
00:12:25,987 --> 00:12:29,987
Old people here.
232
00:12:30,267 --> 00:12:32,107
Some of them get books, some don't.
233
00:12:32,107 --> 00:12:35,027
Some just come here to sit down
and nod off.
234
00:12:35,027 --> 00:12:39,027
They might as well be back
in the home.
235
00:12:39,267 --> 00:12:41,347
But then again, you know,
236
00:12:41,347 --> 00:12:45,027
when you're their age, are you
really going to start reading books?
237
00:12:45,027 --> 00:12:47,627
They might not get through it.
238
00:12:47,627 --> 00:12:51,627
Anyway, I don't know what's...if
there's any books aimed at the old.
239
00:12:52,027 --> 00:12:53,667
It's all autobiographies, innit?
240
00:12:53,667 --> 00:12:56,587
Justin Bieber's just brought one
out, you know him?
241
00:12:56,587 --> 00:13:00,067
Only about 12.
An autobiography out.
242
00:13:00,067 --> 00:13:03,347
Full chapter about how
he blow dries his hair.
243
00:13:03,347 --> 00:13:06,987
Cooking books.
How many cooking books do we need?
244
00:13:06,987 --> 00:13:09,147
You go in WH Smith and look
at the book charts -
245
00:13:09,147 --> 00:13:10,907
every one of them's a cook book,
246
00:13:10,907 --> 00:13:14,907
and they wonder why the country's
getting fat.
247
00:13:16,307 --> 00:13:19,627
Kev comes along,
I don't know what he comes here for.
248
00:13:19,627 --> 00:13:22,547
Well, I do know what he comes
here for, he's looking for nudity.
249
00:13:22,547 --> 00:13:25,387
If there's a book in here with
nudity in it, he finds it.
250
00:13:25,387 --> 00:13:29,387
Amateur photography. I can guarantee
she'll be in black and white
251
00:13:29,787 --> 00:13:32,227
with her kit off by page ten.
252
00:13:32,227 --> 00:13:36,227
Tits. Bingo.
253
00:13:37,827 --> 00:13:40,067
Hello, love.
Can I get that out, please?
254
00:13:40,067 --> 00:13:43,147
You can't take magazines out,
I'm afraid.
255
00:13:43,147 --> 00:13:45,107
OK. Well, you got a toilet?
256
00:13:45,107 --> 00:13:46,387
Upstairs.
257
00:13:46,387 --> 00:13:47,507
Smashing.
258
00:13:47,507 --> 00:13:51,427
No shame whatsoever, really.
259
00:13:51,427 --> 00:13:55,387
Now look at Derek - I'll bet you
he's looking at a book with cats in.
260
00:13:55,387 --> 00:13:58,227
Every time he comes here,
the same book, the same cats.
261
00:13:58,227 --> 00:14:00,747
He's fascinated by it.
262
00:14:00,747 --> 00:14:04,547
It's kittens, my favourite.
I loves 'em, I wants to...
263
00:14:04,547 --> 00:14:07,067
But you've got to be careful,
cos you want to squeeze 'em,
264
00:14:07,067 --> 00:14:08,467
but you've got to be careful.
265
00:14:08,467 --> 00:14:11,547
And I likes old cats, I likes all the
ones in between. Look, it's all cats.
266
00:14:11,547 --> 00:14:13,467
Boss-eyed!
267
00:14:13,467 --> 00:14:16,507
I loves boss-eyed cats. Er...
268
00:14:16,507 --> 00:14:19,787
Look, that's what
a cat looks like...
269
00:14:19,787 --> 00:14:21,347
..inside.
270
00:14:21,347 --> 00:14:23,827
I've seen that in the road before.
271
00:14:23,827 --> 00:14:27,827
Except that wasn't...
It was over there.
272
00:14:33,227 --> 00:14:37,227
♪ Happy birthday to you
273
00:14:37,667 --> 00:14:41,667
♪ Happy birthday to you
274
00:14:41,867 --> 00:14:45,867
♪ Happy birthday, dear Derek
275
00:14:47,227 --> 00:14:51,227
♪ Happy birthday to you. ♪
276
00:14:51,587 --> 00:14:53,307
Thank you. Hot. It's hot.
277
00:14:53,307 --> 00:14:55,507
Go on, blow them out.
278
00:14:55,507 --> 00:14:56,987
Yeah!
279
00:15:00,993 --> 00:15:02,213
Is that my presents?
280
00:15:02,213 --> 00:15:03,393
- Yeah.
- Shall I open them?
281
00:15:03,409 --> 00:15:04,389
I'll get a cake knife.
282
00:15:04,389 --> 00:15:06,069
Yeah.
Everyone can have a bit of cake.
283
00:15:18,344 --> 00:15:21,144
Spot Garden Birds.
284
00:15:21,144 --> 00:15:23,784
Long-tailed tit.
285
00:15:23,970 --> 00:15:25,850
He's only saying that to say "tit".
286
00:15:25,850 --> 00:15:29,850
Thank you.
287
00:16:24,810 --> 00:16:27,530
I've just been filling in
your assessment form.
288
00:16:27,530 --> 00:16:29,690
So how do you think
you're getting on?
289
00:16:29,690 --> 00:16:31,490
Yeah, it's all right.
290
00:16:31,706 --> 00:16:33,146
Yeah?
291
00:16:33,212 --> 00:16:35,532
I put, "Victoria is a real asset,
292
00:16:35,532 --> 00:16:38,412
"she learns quickly and she gets
on with everyone,
293
00:16:38,412 --> 00:16:40,132
"and the residents love her
294
00:16:40,132 --> 00:16:43,132
"and she's clearly a smart
and conscientious young lady.
295
00:16:43,132 --> 00:16:47,132
"Ten out of ten for effort."
296
00:16:48,652 --> 00:16:50,892
Oh, what's the matter, darling?
297
00:16:50,892 --> 00:16:54,152
Oh, I've just never got ten
out of ten for anything before.
298
00:16:54,249 --> 00:16:55,969
Oh, that's silly.
299
00:16:55,969 --> 00:16:58,169
Everything's not a test.
300
00:16:58,169 --> 00:17:00,569
I'll bet you're brilliant
at loads of stuff!
301
00:17:00,569 --> 00:17:02,969
No-one's ever been this
nice to me before either.
302
00:17:02,969 --> 00:17:06,969
Oh. Well, you're rubbish, then!
How's that?
303
00:17:07,529 --> 00:17:10,369
That's better.
304
00:17:10,369 --> 00:17:13,729
It's not just you, it's everything.
305
00:17:13,729 --> 00:17:16,249
It's just nice being here.
306
00:17:16,249 --> 00:17:20,049
I don't think I've ever been
in a nice place before.
307
00:17:20,049 --> 00:17:24,009
Well, how does that feel?
308
00:17:24,009 --> 00:17:26,689
Yeah, I like it.
309
00:17:26,689 --> 00:17:30,689
Oh, come here, don't be silly.
310
00:17:34,329 --> 00:17:37,169
Oh, I feel like a right div, now.
311
00:17:37,169 --> 00:17:41,169
Um, I was wondering if maybe I
could, I dunno, come back next week?
312
00:17:42,689 --> 00:17:45,169
What? As a volunteer?
313
00:17:45,169 --> 00:17:46,129
Yeah.
314
00:17:46,129 --> 00:17:47,569
Yeah, that'd be brilliant!
315
00:17:47,569 --> 00:17:48,609
Yeah? Yes!
316
00:17:48,609 --> 00:17:49,569
All right.
317
00:17:49,569 --> 00:17:51,649
Excellent!
318
00:19:20,289 --> 00:19:21,809
Derek, are you going to throw up?
319
00:19:21,809 --> 00:19:25,809
Yeah. Right, come with me.
320
00:19:30,809 --> 00:19:33,129
You what?! What did you give him
that for?
321
00:19:33,129 --> 00:19:37,129
Look at the state of him, you idiot!
322
00:19:45,489 --> 00:19:47,369
Uurrgh!
323
00:19:47,369 --> 00:19:48,809
You all right, babe?
324
00:19:48,809 --> 00:19:50,209
No, I wish I was dead!
325
00:19:50,209 --> 00:19:51,889
What's up with him?
326
00:19:51,889 --> 00:19:54,049
What'd you give him
Special Brew for?
327
00:19:54,049 --> 00:19:57,249
I didn't force him, did I?
Like some kind of foie-gras goose!
328
00:19:57,249 --> 00:20:00,729
Look at the state of him.
What are you doing?
329
00:20:00,729 --> 00:20:02,529
What do you think I'm doing?
330
00:20:02,529 --> 00:20:06,529
Oh, for fuck's sake!
331
00:20:07,289 --> 00:20:11,289
Unbelievable.
332
00:20:14,889 --> 00:20:18,489
Prostate.
333
00:20:22,209 --> 00:20:26,209
My life.
334
00:21:52,827 --> 00:22:27,243
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