paper was light gold in medieval times
i want tobacco sugar
[Music]
that everything we thought we knew about
the world
might turn out to be completely wrong
[Music]
trees
[Music]
all right all right i'm coming whoever
you are you better have a good excuse
for getting me out of my bed at this
hour
wake me up from a beautiful dream just
that i was about to do something
interesting with my wife
hi desmond sosa is me
what are you doing here is what kind of
region is that
i man come thousands of miles all the
way from jamaica
i come to give a big surprise visit to
my sister
our husband and family and all i get is
what you're doing here eh she said it's
two o'clock in the morning
there's my mineral doctor tell the
playing that
is when we greet him then
the next time you can kiss my back foot
for what that was
you see how you become english man now
shake one's hand and pick one on the
forehead
whatever happened to her go pon kiss
upon thing when you greet
somebody even prince charles rob knows
hunting but not
desmond ambrose all right all right oh
sorry oh
so you're sorry no er
where are my sister charlize
[Music]
that is the way we west indians greet
each other
you look so well so
young men
tell me know what you're doing here
we're alone
you're in trouble not know anyone but
don't tell me i know you kill your
husband
maxwell divorce no but he'd kill me
before note
you mean you don't know a divorce of
course
what is it yes dory
you see you're getting angry with me
already and you don't even know what it
is
oh it's so soon
you say even your daughter knows her so
just get on with it
well um
i've been looked at i'm not
you know her not sure i live nice to see
i'm in love what happened
well um we had to elope because of the
complications it would occur
back home first of all him is very rich
and he's poor
rich man i lucky you second maxwell
even though we divorced that man would
make my life a misery
so we had to come to england to get
married oh how romantic
this is a surprise ed elsman oh yes a
surprise
what's the name of this lucky man and
where is he his name is william
but i call him little willy for shirt
i don't wear tin outside
he's kind considerate tall dark and
handsome
[Applause]
everybody this is my little wheelie
[Applause]
man i mean the wires so so you're gone
too far this time
cheryl say hello to willy hello
hello william
hello william hello and you better
behave yourself young lady
you old enough to be his mother and he's
young enough to be my boy
listen i don't know what all the fuss is
about
i thought uno being english would be
more broad-minded
as soon as a woman want to marry
somebody younger than herself everybody
create a song and dance about it and
call it thai boy and all that nonsense
me and my little willy is happy
i've never been so happy in my entire
life
boy you haven't even had a life yet
he's gonna have the time of his life
with me i'm sure he is
missing his attire in business so if you
could show us a bed for dinner dads
did you all just sleeping in the same
bed under my roof well not until you're
married anyway
william can have sean's room he's away
for the week so so you can sleep in
glorious roman gloria you'll sleep on
the sofa
mom go on show them the way follow me
william
listen so sir i want to thank you cheryl
i knew you wouldn't let me down
thank you english man
[Applause]
good night my little willy good night
my sweet potato
good night doreen all right we're going
good night shirley
good night auntie sue good night gloria
good night willie good night gloria so
far gloria
good night doreen all right
but suzu promised me and how can she do
that with an 18 year old
what's wrong with me older that's what's
wrong with you
if i managed to pull an 18 year old bird
at her age i'll be well happy
so would i there's nothing only
hypothetical of kosher of course
well let's face it pogba you will
probably be dead long before she even
thought of loving you
what do you know about susu a lot
remember
we became very intimate on her last
visit all right because that's because
she became a little friendly you don't
have to rub it in
uh-uh it was she who likes to be wrapped
just here
scariest feelings about you never mind
by one of these days you meet somebody i
don't want somebody
i want her buddy
you gotta listen pogba we don't have to
take it so personally
we all know it ain't gonna last sushi's
never managed to stick at anything
she'd probably be bored within a month
or two what i want to know is
what do they talk about use your loaf
tone me old son
they don't need many words do they no
after that then what do they talk about
i mean her references are going to be
completely different there is
there's got to be a good what 20 years
between them more like 65.
people will always find something to
talk about
so where are these two kids then
upstairs sleeping off jetlag
i've just bumped into gloria is it true
that's suicide yes yes and that is
yes but they're gonna get there
she's gone mad yes
his name is william and william has
never been spelt t-o-y-b-o-y
you should know that m-i-c-h-a-yell
sorry susan auntie so-so
now listen everybody we made the wedding
arrangements
michael you can you can be the best man
and desmond will give the blushing
bridal here
we want you all to be dear and that
includes you
matthew you steal our own book bud
right michael since you is the best man
you will have to pee at the registrar so
i need 50 pounds
no to be it
we also need a whip around for these
staggering hen nights
it's all right i'll get it thank you
michael
i thought you said you really is wealthy
he is
it's just that him don't inherit it
until him 21.
when he does he'll fear your back come
on really
see so i have to talk to you suso on the
cheek of that woman
it's strong a little bit when she
expects us to pay for it all
me me looks like you've been conned
michael missan
don't remind me she ignored me well
there is an old gambian saying only a
foolish rhinoceros will allow its tail
to be stepped on twice
think about it you have just given me an
idea my friend
your friend only for the moment
when i first saw him at the hotel bar i
didn't think hey
so this is why nice you see and they
think
you must say mad not only that the two
young receptionist was ruling them eyes
at him like so
i wanted to put them in the eye
i don't know what possessed me but when
him turned round
and i see him bottom
what i had to do i just walked over to
it so
pinched it and told him to buy me a
drink
you would know how sometimes when you
see a little beer this button you're
just off invited
well i do i'm just a button woman
the best part of a man's body oh louise
what's wrong with men's faces
everything have you ever tried to kiss a
bloke with two days growth on his chin
it's like kissing a hedgehog
[Applause]
my mum is it like kissing dad with a
moustache
oh well it tickles at first but then
you get used to it until he starts
ranting on raven then he looks like adam
hitler
well he was so shocked by what i'd done
that he bought me a drink
and then it happened so
soon talk about fast workout
not that that didn't happen until later
i'm talking about it
yes that madness when it doesn't seem to
matter
when it's just you and him at the hotel
bar and the whole world just disappear
including the receptionist with the
funny eye
love at first saw i wish it happened to
me oh don't worry gloria
plenty of it will come your way
seriously though susan you're taught
about the consequences
well i like him and he loves me and even
if it don't last i'm gonna have a good
good
time or else it does just as long as
you're happy
[Applause]
i'm going to answer the question you're
all dying to ask for dear not to
what's it like with a younger man
in front of the children surely they no
longer children them nowhere me a
chatbot
well the answer is that being with a
younger man is no
different from being with an older man
they're both they see him
except one is younger
well since i'm paying for these drinks i
suppose we better propose a toast to
william and susu
well if i pick up your glass why because
michael is paying for the drinks
you behaving like a six-year-old which
makes little willy over there look on
adults by comparison
i propose a toast to william and susu
may they be happy in their endeavors
they're already happy in their endeavors
hey willy boy well i hope they have a
long and happy marriage cheers
william you know marriage isn't easy
especially with susu we'll try and make
a go of it
toy boy you don't know what it's like to
live with a woman
neither do you ah but i didn't know what
it was like
and it wasn't very nice what i'm trying
to say is that
marrying and living with somebody makes
you see different sides of them
we hope soon nah you can see sides
you won't like sides you don't want to
see
popeye why are you trying to poo-poo the
idea of marriage
i'm not pooing anything
don't like that shouldn't take long
looks like you struck the winner there a
willy boy
that marriage is definitely not going to
last
if it ever gets off the ground uh don't
be like that pork pie
it's man's stag night man's entitled to
one last flush when he's last night
i wish you would flirt michael
[Music]
[Applause]
that boy is a danger to women he's
warning romney's neck
now listen dez you never got it mate oh
you ain't
[Music]
i've got it
[Music]
oh today's the day so so surely nervous
are you nervous what do you think i just
say
i know what everybody will be thinking
so i just want to look my best
and make sure that my little willy look
good too
so what you're gonna wear i was thinking
of wearing
my mini skirt and a red top mini skirt
and red top
nah you can't you look like a like what
like the wrong combination
that's why i thought i'd put myself in
your capable handshake
i know you have always had a good eye
for collar and coordination
no so-sorry
am wearing this dress study oh don't get
annoyed with me cheryl
it's on the day of my wedding
you know how upset and nervous means
already and you get
angry you know how i hate it when you
call me doreen
even as a child when you bawled i
cried i don't want my wedding dear my
only sister the one person i look up to
is angry and forward
because of a dress to foresee a
consistent
need on a very special deal a once in a
lifetime occasion
twice it's the first time marine william
the whole world is grumbling
susu you can borrow the dress what you
say my loving sister sure stop your
foolishness
this dress is going to look weaker than
me
you haven't changed have
always get everything you want even back
to when we were children if i had any
sweets i had to share them with you
otherwise you turn on the tears and tell
everybody i hate you
use my sister but i'm always bailing you
out
i wonder if i needed you as much as you
need me would you be there
of course i will cheryl the trouble with
you is that you will never need my help
you're not the sort of person whose life
is a shambles like mine
you're my only sister
i don't mean to be the way i am it just
happens
you can borrow the dress
as a matter of fact you can keep it
call it my wedding present thank you
cheryl
that woman has spent 40 pounds on
flowers without telling anybody
instead of mike well that woman is going
to be willie's wife very soon the sooner
the better
i can see this wedding's gonna get off
to a flying star the wedding is going to
be fine
it's everybody around it i'm worried
about well i might think you better keep
quiet and speak when you've spoken to
sorry mr that's better
all right where is she popeye
what do you look like he wants to play
young
i can play young too listen for five why
don't you just rest yourself
and retire gracefully because the best
man win
no contest why are you little put your
fists up i can still give you a few lips
don't get some licks as well for five
why you don't sit down and take the
weight off your trousers before they do
your stream watching
and little really i think you want to
apologize to profile i'm sorry porque
mr grant mr grant i've listened to all
your rude remarks and taken it
you can't even bother to be rude behind
my back well i've
just about had enough of it i sit down
you'll don't be stupid i mean what in
god's name is going on
i have a young man who prefers an older
woman and an old man who wants to be
young
so he can attract a woman as old as he
is
what on earth are you wearing popeye you
looked like john travolta
in drag and have you taken a look at
yourself in the mirror recently
not exactly the height of fashion how
your life gift
you look wonderful okay all right let's
get in the car and get this thing over
and done with it
not so fast
hey susuma little chick what pork pie my
little twerp
you look more beautiful with each
passing day you don't
so susu you sure you're not gonna change
your mind and marry a man of experience
you know what i'm supported by
innocence is bliss then i've got
something that is going to make you
change your mind
don't bother i've seen it before
what's that william and a strange woman
dancing on his stag night
so so they were lambadaying if you know
what i mean
if it gave her a cheap thrill of good
it only goes to prove by marrying a sexy
man
did you dance with anybody poor pie no i
rest
my case
ladies and gentlemen welcome to the
harlequin suite here at southwark town
hall
where we're gathered to witness and
celebrate the marriage of mr william
nelson peters
to miss doreen wilmer pleasure another
one bites the dust
or sushi bites his bum would you
recommend me old son
i'll give you three to one it's over in
two months five to one
oh you drive hard bargain all right five
to one done
yeah lovely i left someone that's lovely
so will i
don't insult me 10 paints you're
insulting me
this is supposed to be my sister's
wedding not the grand national
i must ask if there is anyone here in
this room
who has or knows of any legal reason why
these two shall not be joined in
marriage
please speak now overhold your peace
now then i would ask you mr william
nelson peters
to repeat after me the following vows of
matrimony
[Applause]
so you think you're smart william
you think he is going to marry to a
woman who favor comfort
don't know that is blessed no mommy i
love her
love what you know about love don't be
[Applause]
stupid
[Applause]
[Music]
[Applause]
wow
[Applause]
[Music]
uh
you