are you going to bug me i might get a
mug you it's that gorgeous one
and i believe i can run for decent
marathon
download
now
from the long run
[Music]
let's keep the music sweet
[Music]
gloria get off the telephone i'm trying
to run a business
don't tell me the chewing gum kid
strikes again oh not only that shell
he's changed brands
this is obviously the chisel proof super
grip permawell blend
pity didn't weld his fingers together
with it
gloria get off the phone now
the whole place is falling apart i've
been telling desmond for years the shop
needs completely redoing i mean look at
it eh the only thing holding this place
together is faith none of which is mine
yeah we're after you with that site
lenders hmm
this is for you telephone tax and some
more that price draw nonsense thank you
but no thank you
the telephone makes interesting reading
a lot of o51061 prefixes courtesy of you
know who yes i know who and every time i
want to use my telephone is
busy line
are you like uh gloria you have money
for your bus here yeah well i think you
better go upstairs and put it in your
piggy bank
the trouble with teenage daughters and
telephones is it starts off with a ring
and before you know it they're
permanently engaged
they're making it up i never made that
many calls and the chicken never crossed
the road
okay well that one shones for start
what about all the mother nation white
girls they work oh so you have been job
hunting
yeah well sort of anyway i must go
because i've got to be at the studio for
11. you're mean you're going to meet
alex again it's been over a month and we
still haven't met him oh it's only been
about three weeks two days eight hours
anyway we're just getting to know each
other you're meeting when the time is
right wait what's wrong with him
listen he'll go mad if i'm late i've got
sweat in the transport and stuff today
oh are you planning to go away somewhere
it's for alex's artwork he's playing an
art exhibition i'm helping him we look
good on my cv but gloria you forget
once you're finished learning it's time
to start earning that's right and as far
as i know your friend alex is not paying
you a wage and i'm paying his phone bill
oh yeah
i see you louise has been trying to get
hold of your auntie she wants you to
call around well maybe luis should
change your name to
369 pounds
you know what your problem is yes
alex reynolds you'll never be satisfied
with any young man that gloria brings
home here that's right because i know
what's right i know all about these
artists shirley living in squalor drunk
every day keeping decent people's
daughters out all night running up
decent people's telephone bills growing
illegal substances if that's what you
want for your daughter fight
what's wrong with you
sometimes the tension in here does
it gets a bit much you know
who is it it's me
hello it's me
[Applause]
[Laughter]
i've got a bun to pick with you
ah vegetarians don't pick bones i'm not
a vegetarian and i want to know why you
said i was to deborah and her husband
thingy last night so that deborah and
her husband thingy only had to cook one
meal so i started that listen you don't
own me you know and who gives you the
right to make decisions without even
asking me first oh you see
now deborah would say that aggression is
due to the amount of meat you eat yeah
well smell this
that's what i like about you gloria oh
good
i do like them too though you know maybe
we should invite them over here sometime
oh so you want to play mr and mrs do you
maybe
then we'll have to do all the other
things that married couples do oh yeah
we just had a rabbi haven't we
so let's make up then
[Music]
daddy wouldn't approve
why not i'm decent honest legal and i'm
a dab hand at diy so i see
[Laughter]
here's some new stuff
nice
all right thank you kindly man
tea with or without the tanning uh whiff
please
oh about your art exhibition i phoned
everywhere i even rang your good friend
catherine in glasgow oh and what'd she
say yeah she jumped at the chance like
you said i'd love to have alex reynolds
for a few days
else was booked up i did have this
really brilliant idea though hmm but i
did think it was a bit cheeky
considering i've never really met the
guy i'm listening see i've recreated
garages i've done empty railway
carriages i've even done greenhouses but
i've never ever done
a barber shop
my dad's barber shop yeah it came to me
the other day when he was telling me
about those guys matthew and paul pipe
yeah how they just sit around all day
telling stories and listening to music
and you're dead playing special requests
on his trumpet for the customers i don't
think that's a very good idea no no it
feels right
all right then
and for what you told me about your dad
i'm sure he'd relish the idea of playing
host to an art exhibition
him being a fellow artiste
he could play during the show
does your mum still dance yeah she'll be
there dancing on my grave when she finds
out about this
so you will ask them for me please
pretty please oh you're not that pretty
you know
no
but i am
sexy
get right back down in there alex
what harm can it possibly do beside burn
a small hole in your pocket we need new
chairs these chairs and i have a few
years left in us yet yes you'd be lucky
if it lasts another week tony
you see this chair i shaved my first
customer in this chair you mean those
marks are bloodstained
people have no respect for the past no
no that's not true nostalgia's big
business des people pay a fortune for
this sort of stuff nowadays right so if
we sell them we can buy a new set lee
how much you think they're worth oh
about 250.
250. are you orders 250 pounds no no 2
pound 50 days
speaking on behalf of the regulars may i
suggest that the management also do
something about the customer season
arrangements yeah man
these seats have had it
the springs have sprung on the stuffins
left long ago
maybe the two of you should follow it
why not get something more elegant
shirley i'd let the chest say it would
be nice for a fortnight in florida what
i'd like is one of those arm chairs with
two receptacles
one from a bottle of rum and one for a
mini television set so i can watch the
races now listen i've seen this great
recliner this with built-in stereo and
massage pads for your back oh yeah
oh i could do some of that
yeah sounds great lee either way dez
these chairs have got to go a client of
mine caught her sleeve on this the other
day
yeah she could have sued us desmond you
must admit desmond having a haircut here
is hazardous enough without the added
risk of being impaired while waiting for
a blood drive
right
i'll put up a notice
pass me that pen tony
customers
are advised
that
they are seated
at their own
risk
the management
cannot be held responsible
for injuries to persons
or
death
there
[Laughter]
[Music]
not going out tonight me no i
want some help with
that gloria you've been in here for the
last half an hour and you're only just
offering to lend a hand oh should i make
you some coffee then huh do you remember
how many shows i took
mom
free in it no
i don't take sugar in coffee
so if you try to sweeten me up you'll
have to bake me a cake
oh look mom okay she was small favor i
promise i'll never ask you anything as
long as i live but will you walk study
people willing to let alex i'll do the
exhibition in the shop
i didn't get all that sight again
please don't tease mum will you ask if
it's important
you mean
alex is important well yeah he is
it feels right there's a brain now i can
talk to alex and i thought i feel i have
to explain myself every two seconds and
it's not an effort he tells me to shut
up i tell him forget laughs it's great
and i presume he's good looking as well
as intelligent if alex was sitting here
and denzel washed it and walked in
i wouldn't even have noticed
well he sounds really wonderful how come
we haven't met him yet mum you know what
dad's like about my boyfriend's he never
likes any of them as soon as he gets
introduced he picks out their faults and
then by the end of the evening he's
putting me right off him
maybe he's right i mean you can't blame
him if you make bad choices
alex is
different anyway what about him having
his exhibition in the shop what's wrong
with the proper gallery well he's not
that sort of i'll explain later but will
you ask dad about us using the shop yeah
i'll ask him he'll say no
don't thank me yet before i do you any
favors i want a few favors from you and
one
is you organize your own life before you
go organizing anyone else's and two you
do not use that phone again until you
pay off what you owe
fair enough i use a call box in the shop
good
well seeing as the bathroom is vacant
for once i think i'll go upstairs and
run a bar yeah but you won't forget
about that thing though no
laughs
it's me
hello it's me hey did you ask yeah great
so it's sorted that was quick yeah but
i'll bring you back
and you want me to do you avaiver
ah
[Music]
[Laughter]
oh
oh wait this you're a dark horse didn't
you i never thought you had been a
patron of the arts though mate yes well
it was up in the attic charlie was going
on about brightening up the place a bit
i bought that in 1967 you know
yeah i can see that mate well i'm
talking about this pick this up down the
community center this morning
the artist alex reynolds continues his
tradition of exhibiting in real working
environments this time host gallery is
desmond's barbershop beckham what
who's behind us
gloria
come and have a word with daddy
what's up now
what's your boyfriend doing advertising
and art exhibition in my shop
advertising yeah there's old loading
them down a community center oh it's a
nifty bit of graphics that i mean i
don't know much about art but
you didn't ask dad yet did you no i
haven't asked your father yet
i think you may be allowed one phone
call yes you can use it to summon that
boy reynolds to see me now
you know he's good at putting designs on
paper but i want to know what designs
he's got on my daughter
[Music]
oh but the idea of art you see has set
up such a context of action within our
culture and has taught us to interpret
the images of our as records and
indications of cultural and artistic
intention
yeah i've always felt that way about it
yeah
well i never thought of it like that oh
but it's still a brush
sometimes pogba you're such an ignoramus
yeah yes yes you'll never kiss me
this is art
great
everybody out except you oh dad can't we
talk this out peacefully please no
gloria i think it would be a good idea
if we both went upstairs because
sometimes our fitness family is
positively dickensian the only thing
you're missing is dad's mastiff and
allswep
you insured alex
i thought i told the three of you to
come out but it's going to rain
not a drop it's bright and sunny all day
come out besides the fresh air will do
you good fresh air in peckham
yeah isn't that stuff it comes in tins
at the chemist oh it's very good for the
lungs they say for over 20 years i've
been coming here and not once have you
ever closed up this place early come out
on you too tony no no no guys i've got
to client you any minute now well tell
me we got a new lightning business
alfresco weaves out
why are sorry for you
oh alex i'll give you a bill next
thursday don't worry about dez his
bite's worse than his bar
don't you mean that the other way around
no but i'm sure you can handle him
right
sit down
father
a word please
sit down
please
my secretary handed me this this morning
apparently a number of them have been
distributed around town not to mention
several posters in a local library so
i presume this art exhibition is for
real well that being the case can i just
say this i'm angry you angry
angry but hurt
you never even thought of consulting me
on any of this either as your partner or
your son remember me michael ambrose the
one mother gave birth to in 1962
an art exhibition what do you know about
art the man who thought van gogh was a
german wine on special offer at tesco
father you cannot run a barbershop and
an art gallery the two things just
aren't compatible excuse me sit down uh
please
remember me
desmond ambrose i've been your father
for closer than 30 years i know it was
hell sometimes i stuck it out through
the wet napkins
long enough for you to grow up to be a
partner in this business now i have not
decided what i'm gonna do about mr
reynolds here but when i do i'll give
you a call okay
mr reynolds yes
hi yeah
hi um
look mustache
i've got a meeting at half past what did
how long look take this man
[Applause]
right now
jasmine it's spitting a bit well at
least you have a hat
desmond would it be possible for me to
ask shelly if she has an umbrella i
could borrow of course not we closed out
right place your bets here gentlemen it
will give me 10 to 1 odds on the thumbs
down birdie
natives are getting restless very soon
they'll be calling for blood
lucky i brought my donor card with me
then
i'd rate you little miss dan bros i just
want to apologize for all the trouble
i've caused you
look you know i expected to greet
gloria's dad with an offer to buy a
round and a handshake
no i know it must have been a big shock
to you to suddenly find out that this
place was being touted as a venue for
the arts against your wishes but i
really am sorry mr ambrose
i don't know what else to say except
that gloria's not to blame
it was all my idea
i just convinced myself that you'd agree
to it you've been involved in the arts
yourself
gloria's talked a lot about your musical
talents she has
yes she is
sconely what's happening
right
no no they're still talking no sign of
any bloodshed though
we could possibly see some form of a
truth being made here
no sign of the other suspect has yet
missed gloria ambrose
i think maybe she's being kept in
custody until the trial's over
oh
oh you're not gonna believe this
try me
you see yes yes of course i see you mean
although it remains intact there's
always some movement some fluctuation
yes i see what you mean
mr ambrose don't take this the wrong way
put my work on the display in your shop
it's almost like a dream come true
i mean i wasn't always going to be an
artist i wanted to be a football player
but when i was 13
i did this collage of icarus the man who
flew too close to the sun
i did a painting of that for my junior
school art exam back in guyana you did
oh yes i've always had a tremendous
appreciation for the arts bit painting
music the theater
that is my point
i mean galleries in prison art yes they
suffocated yeah not to mention ripping
off the artist oh yeah we have to get
art into the community yes yes bring it
back to the people yes that's why i want
to use your shop
okay
okay thanks mr ambrose um what do you
think of this painting i bought it back
in 1967
you see
exhibiting art in galleries
unintentionally imprisons and suffocates
the work and show art should be for
everybody
that's where we come in desmond's
bringing heart to the people
yes fine and how much we charging them
charging for what well for use of the
premises for a start you mean you didn't
discuss money the french impressionist
i think you're talking about monet what
i'm talking about father is money
i found out quite a bit about our mr
reynolds
interiors did a feature on him a few
months ago he's quite high profile in
some of the trendier art circles things
he does are amazing oh yes they are
aren't they yes
the ceiling is completely covered with
broken pieces of glass and on the walls
there's these headlights from
cars and bicycles like rusting carcasses
everywhere it's amazing what he's gonna
do that to my shop
our shop father all right let's go
[Music]
thanks for all your help mrs ambrose
it's incredible glor
incredible
well if you're sure oh i am i am stop
stop stop leave me alone
but
nothing change when do you start
i don't there's nothing i can do to
improve it it's all a living exhibition
as it stands look
i don't know that you've come to mention
it yet tony wait a minute what about all
these people are going to be turning up
because of your stupid posters
compulsory audience participation
michael then i'll be invited to be
desmond's clients very
they'll be part of a unique cultural
experience you mean they'll have their
haircut
and they'll pay yep i like it i like it
and you pocket the proceeds that's right
look i think it's about time we wrap
this nonsense up come on back to work
everyone i i listen you cultural bimbo
alex isn't making any money from this
are you alex michael i consider it a sin
to exploit part of our national heritage
you would let's make all your hair good
desmond's is a monument to black british
culture it is
it belongs to the people it does
so the extra money that comes in uh good
ghost awards new cheers a new bench a
sofa oh yes
please desmond oh no no
it would be appear to change a thing in
this place and as my friend alex says
and as i've always known this isn't just
a barbershop
it's art
[Music]
so
[Music]
bye