are you going to bug me i might get a
mug you it's that gorgeous one
and i believe i can run for decent
marathon
downloading now
[Music]
and feel
[Music]
i want some more
[Music]
hey shh
hey someone got me to put these records
anyway man
okay
why i'll tell you we were slamming
tonight man
my vagarat kicked the house
boy some of those shorts those girls
were wearing they were so tight i
believe wonder how they get him on
they must lie on the floor in it
that's how you get them off sean
no seriously seriously seriously no
seriously that's what gloria told me
yeah i'd like to get yours off oh hey
man
hey sister spider come on i know but
she's a woman and i'm a man i know
you know what's happening between woman
and man in it
maybe not i tell you when you start
university tomorrow ask a tutor
don't be stupid i just don't shout about
it that's all sean if you got what i've
got you'd shout about it
tonight more women will know about it
you hear me yeah light and clear spider
look i better chip because i've got a
couple of women in the van and i thought
i'd take home what women
see that's the difference between you
and me sean i've driven home with a
couple of women in the back and you
didn't even know about it
so
so sean ambrose on his last night before
he starts university whilst the slow
tracks were slamming he had a chance to
slam it with denise but where was he
nowhere to be seen if that was me boy i
wouldn't just be slamming it i'd be
slammed dunking it
in
uh loud and clear spider so where was
you man well as a matter of fact i was
out back with vanessa now are you
hearing me
loud and clear man you know what i don't
know why you just don't come to uni with
me you know we have such a laugh sure
man we've been through this already you
know i don't want to spend another three
years in another institution i'm having
a bummy time now you know we're doing
well with the djing we're making money
and i want to take it further you know
and be a ragged star yeah can't do that
and go to university at the same time i
mean by the time we finish our degree
raga would have been and gone and
everybody would be into
reggae versions of heavy metal
you need me though yeah loud and clear
high five man come on
well that's a new one yeah right
i better go and drive my women home all
right oh spider you know you shouldn't
drink and drive the two don't mix you
know i know
that's why you did the drinking and i'm
doing the driving job exactly yeah i'll
pick up tomorrow morning yeah we're not
taking the van back to the higher
company all right easy boss respect
[Music]
night night
[Music]
morning charles
good morning
so today's your big day
i made you a packed lunch
put all your favorite things in
fried chicken dumplings peanut butter
and jam sandwiches are you sure you
packed enough
now what would you want for breakfast
hmm i haven't got much in but i can do
you uh fried eggs bacon sausages
mushrooms tomatoes
plantains baked beans
two aspirins
how would you like them fried or boiled
you managed to find your bed
mom never again you sound just like your
father
i'm gonna lose you soon
you know i felt the same way when
michael went after university huh dad
says that was the best thing that ever
happened
sure he did but even your father missed
michael when he wasn't around
and i'm gonna miss you too oh
my mom mom i'll be back tonight signing
up the road
no
it's not that distance i'm worried
about is the distance that happens when
you go to university
thanks
it happened to michael
mum university never did that to michael
he was born like that
yeah look where it got him he's a bank
manager now yeah and don't i know it and
so does mr beckham
ah right i'm off see you later thanks
man you're wearing clean socks and
underpants
[Applause]
[Laughter]
boy seymour this is a great day in the
ambrose household my son sean is on his
way to uni uni
university for those people in the know
hey desmond what do you know about you a
lot more than you
but at least i knew when to stop being a
student
hey i wonder what you get when you
retire as a student yeah i mean it's not
as if they're going to give you a gold
watch or nothing is it
maybe they give you a gold library
ticket
mark as you may they do say one's best
days are at college yes you liked it so
much you stayed
wait here we
[Applause]
come here come here now you know i'm not
one for speeches oh yeah but on a
location such as this i was too late uh
dad's just about to give a speech i
think i'll come back
before i go there's something i want to
say to you sean that i'm proud of you
and i think i can say on behalf of the
whole family who gave you the right to
speak on the family i resolved the right
to speak on behalf of the family okay
okay
but my advice to you sean is to work
hard and play hard yeah and don't come
back a banker yes son enjoy it these
will be the happiest days of your life
how's your one day sean
did i ever tell you about my first day
at college
well you see
my friend tim alive well it wasn't my
friend then you see we just both knew
but he might hit him shut up boy
i think i'll get back to the bank yes
the bank's the best place for you
i don't know why everybody's making such
a fuss it's not like you're going away
i mean if i was going to university i
got as far away from here as possible
somewhere in a country in a country or
what do you want to go in a country for
there's no black people in the country
oh well there's no good clubs in the
country
oh
well look staying at home means i've got
someone to cook my food and wash my
clothes and dad still gives me a bit of
pocket money you crafting i know
good where was i uh would you wear this
and around sean like yeah and you're
just going to make a speech yes all
right uh not now dad otherwise i'll be
late and you wouldn't want me to be late
on my first day now would you no no sure
here you go mate your first set of car
keys oh
what you haven't have y'all what bought
your car yeah no no i bought you the
keys
well why
pull in paramount son if the girls think
you've got a motor you're willing
but when they ask you where the car is
what do you say easy it's been clamped
or stolen or in the garage it works
every time listen i'll eat this down
there right that's all right lee
spider's coming to pick me up oh hey all
right this how's the clip joint still
fleecing the customers
hey gloria
[Music]
thanks
so
our boy off the university eh
don't they grow up fast
[Applause]
[Laughter]
don't fight the feeling bb
are you ready yeah come on let's go come
on
i do not like that boy
i never did like spiders but i'm glad
sean is going to university yes at least
he's mixed with a better class of person
that's right that's true you won't be
there
[Music]
boy
i smell good
have some
you sure yeah i can't eat all of that
but a big mouth like yours sure comes in
andy hey
what does that mean i'll give it a bag
okay
so i got a big mouth
like your mum's cooking
so most of the guys on my course
why
again i'm not going
most of the girls i've seen wall three
look dry
yeah well i'm sure they keep the same
about you spider
i don't envy sean man i mean i've met a
few college girls in my time and they
were hard work that's probably because i
had a brain
look man when i go to check a woman the
last thing i'm looking for is a battle
of mines do you hear me here we go again
spider the doctor roof of pekka what do
you know about women
what do you know
not a lot
you see
and a lot more than you
which is not a lot really
hey this man
good luck yeah cheers man
hey sean
make it look good
and she does
get her phone number
[Music]
hey
you lost yeah
are you new here
how can you tell so uh what department
you're looking for educational science
oh i'm going there oh nice one um i'm
bernie by the way oh sean pleased to
meet you all right so how long have you
been here then
about 10 minutes
you see pop by in these days of mass
unemployment and overqualification
employers like me face difficult
dilemmas why are you using big words
nowadays oh well know that sean is at
university his father has to show
everybody that he's intelligent too so
he wheels out the three fancy words he
knows and starts to pontificate about
the world pontie who it's just one of
those fancy words but as i was saying
the dilemma we face is whether or not to
employ people with degrees
no one with a degree of sense will come
and work here anyway if you feel that we
have tony you can make way for somebody
with a degree
desmond the basic ways of a hairdresser
is not that brilliant nor is the basic
ways of a lollipop man well it's a whole
lot better than the basic wage of a
housewife
in fact women in general are underpaid
with or without degrees i don't know why
women bother with degrees no sooner you
employ them to get pregnant and leave
you stranded that's why you can't see a
woman the same way as a man
there's no name rose
i've heard you talk some foolishness
before well which paper did you read to
get that attitude from the when he was
just talking sean you know debating
it's because of prejudiced idiots like
you that women have such a hard time
it's who you calling the idiot you
[Applause]
what gives men the right to decide
that because she produces babies a woman
with a first-class brain is a
second-class worker a desmond answer
that i i didn't know
that's just it what do men know i know i
wouldn't mind a cup of tea please sure
you want some sugar in your shirt
i don't take sugar
yeah two in mine thanks i had fallen
oh sean
here comes the intelligent member of
this family
how did it go son
oh well it was all right mum huh what's
this a little light reading homework you
see that for face your break based on
this you got to read all them books well
i haven't got to read them all exactly
dead they're just reference books mainly
so what's the first essay you have to do
sean ah
the middle classes inherit cultural
wealth disgust
and do they well i don't know yet i've
got to read up on it first than i did
that's my boy oh desmond that's our boy
yo what's up man how's mastermind all
right spider listen man um i still got
the van so i thought me and you could go
out and make a few new friends you hear
me oh yeah look i can't man i've got an
essay to do so oh come on she wants just
one evening didn't you hear me said you
got an essay to do that i need to talk
to
no
but maybe this old woman should say
something mom
you're one feisty little boy yes you
don't seem to realize when you fly past
your nest
this is so shameful
[Music]
you see me wearing coughlin you're the
one that wears him i should know where
to find him try the wardrobe i did how
about under your bed under the bed yes
in the shoe box that's the last place i
found him
full of bread darling oh so do you dad
mum you haven't seen my eyelash curlers
have you
see them here
i was only asking
how about looking under your bed
under the bed haven't you heard that's
the place the ambrose family hide things
when they don't want to find them
are you all right mum me i'm fine
surely i'll produce cufflinks
all right i'll do it myself
where were they
ah don't tell me under the bed yes how
did you know you put them there no
i'll check under mine oh come on desmond
we got to go otherwise we'll be late for
this dinner and dance thing you all
right john yeah i'll be fine mom yeah no
if you want anything to eat yes it's in
the fridge i know now go on otherwise
you'll be late good luck with your
homework son thanks dad
just rub it in hand
[Music]
so where are you going tonight oh no
it's special ronnie and i are checking a
movie oh yeah which one jurassic park i
still haven't seen that you know oh why
don't you come along i can't i know
homework well listen the film finishes
around 10 then you can come back and do
your essay then
no no no i can't okay brain box don't
work too hard
see you later see ya
no no no
concentrate concentrate
food
what's happening mastermind
who wants to know me
spider
the fiercely liquor why would fly
passiveness
come to apologize man yeah yeah
i've got some good news
yeah come on
and some good chicken
oh your mum's a wicked cook yeah how
would i know so what's this news then
there's a guy from a record company who
wants to come and see us perform
tomorrow night what he like to tape and
if he likes what he sees he's going to
sign us up
wait
i can't do it man what do you mean you
can't what my essay it's due in the day
after tomorrow sure man i can't do it
without you i need you to spin the decks
why can't he do it another day oh yeah
right i'm just gonna ring him up and say
hello mr record mogul i'm sorry we can't
do the gig because sean has to hand in
an essay yes let me set up another date
oh great yes
two o'clock march the third
1999.
oh hang on i'll just check with sean is
that all right with you
come on spider don't be stupid sure man
a once in a lifetime opportunity comes
along and you're gonna turn it down i'm
not turning it down
now you come into your senses i just
can't do it tomorrow that's all ah
sean
i'm out of here man
look you can't say i didn't try sean i
mean you've been at your ponce
university one day and already it turned
soft
wait a minute
you're coming in my house and you're
talking to me like that
my dad is right babe let's get out
[Music]
[Laughter]
it's the freshman prince of south london
michael
it's me bro sure
so you finally made it eh michael the
bank manager
so what's it like to finally realize
your one and only ambition
we were thrilled and then we had thought
it was on the cards at some point but
when we found out the news we could
hardly believe it could be michael it
wasn't entirely so sudden
one minute slogging away as a mere
underdog subject to every woman foible
of the boss and then poof like michael
jackson through a trapdoor michael
ambrose explodes onto the scene yeah i
wish i'd been there of course one of the
first things we wanted to do was to
change the stuffy image of a bank
manager and i must say michael's
wonderful i didn't hurt you michael
you should see him walking down the
street and he's recognized by everyone
he smiles he says hello to people a bit
like being a pop star isn't it michael
yes it is
um mandy i think it's possible that
shaun came to see me about something so
what would you mind oh not at all as
long as we remember we have a very busy
day ahead we have a 10 30 at 10 45 and
at 12 15. we have lunch with the mayor
tea with the rotary club and drinks and
dominoes with the west indian federation
of small businesses but we don't have to
change for that i should be going as i
am that will be all men
right what do you want
well if you've come for a student loan
you'll have to fill out a form like
everybody else of course i will look at
it and give it michael i'm not asking
for a loan why not which bank are you
going to our charges are more than
reasonable please call look have you got
a minute well what is it
how was it for you when you were a
student
well um
a bit difficult to find the words really
yeah should we get mandy back look i
just meant it was a long time ago
being a university student is the best
feeling in the world
i remember when i passed my a-levels and
i knew i'd got in
like everything i'd been working for was
on that tiny piece of paper with my
grades on it i felt proud
and so did everybody around me
yeah i know what you mean it's like all
their hopes are invested in you getting
a degree that's right they've worked
hard to make sacrifices to get you there
yeah
but when you're there i mean all you
seem to see is all your old friends
driving cars hanging out in clubs yeah
and to begin with it's lonely
you're not like the people you meet
there you're not like people you've left
behind anymore
it takes guts
i wasn't sure i'd make it
really some people don't
so how did you you just have to have a
clear vision of what you want to be and
do
and i wanted to be a bank manager you
got it
i tell you something i wish i had an
older brother to talk to okay well
what's your advice for me then
look at it this way sean
your friends will still be going to
clubs and hanging out when you graduate
they won't have changed but you will
have and there's a change for the better
and people will respect you because of
it hmm
thanks bro
respec
[Laughter]
john is working far too hard surely the
boy's on a three-year score she's been
there for three days how can he be
working too hard already it's just his
first essay surely and he wants to
impress i remember my first essay really
that far back yes i was a handsome young
student of 21 and the subject was is
africa the cradle of civilization and
what did you say yes
it's a funny thing when it came to exams
i never studied too hard for them that's
why you never passed them
yes i did until it was 13. yeah what
happened to you when you were 13. nancy
parker
i remember nancy parker why nancy parker
breezed into the room and that was it
for me after that all i was good for was
writing
love letters me too since when since i
started writing love letters to nancy
parker
yeah surely it was the first person you
ever sent a love letter to
harry belafonte um how old were you 10.
i'm bye late everybody sean son son it
does not bear to panic but dad my
essay's got to be in today so if it took
a little more time you'd be what five
minutes late you see me i don't believe
in panicking you only get yourself all
confused and very sweaty well so what
are you saying i should just give up no
no there's an old african saying
it is idle to swallow a cow and choke on
its tail
think about it
well he doesn't have time to think about
it he studies gibberish next year
besides he's late go boy
[Music]
manager
yeah i kicked out that gig two nights
ago no thanks to you but hey that's the
way it goes i signed to the record
company oh that's great spiderman i'm
really pleased for you man yeah i'm sure
you are
well
you both got what we wanted you got
university
and i'm on my way to fame fortune and
last but not least women
what do you say we gotta celebrate i
can't man
what now i'm already going out to
celebrate
what well i've got the best grade on my
essay
oh that's really great sean
yeah i need to be pleased for me
sean sorry relate right
shall we go then
see that spider
[Applause]
[Music]
[Applause]
[Music]
ah