[Music]
my
[Music]
let's keep the music sweet wind up the
west
oh yes chance please change watching
tempe change
right
one two three four five six seven eight
one
two how about you coming
down she i should have told him where to
go well you can't always expect a tick
desk it's a bit presumptuous
presumptuous you learning big words no
tony
wicked cup tom you're the man
you're the man no no no you're the man
i'm telling you man you're the man
you're the man
chase the change my man hey don't start
that stupidness again no oh yeah
you call that a haircut it looked like
the map of beckham to me
desmond
what
i think it's about time you started
treating me with a bit more
respect please
i beg your pardon but it's just that
sometimes desmond you talk to me like
i'm still at school like i'm a boy
that's because you are a boy
no i'm not
look as long as i'm 12 years older than
you you're a boy tommy
as a graduate in business management may
i say it really doesn't pay to be rude
to your staff and i don't pay you to sit
here so mind your own business
if i were you matthew i won't let him
talk to me like that can't you at least
try to be a bit more polite more polite
not when i'm surrounded by nosy partners
like you can't keep the opinions of
themselves you only try to contribute to
a bit more peaceful atmosphere you hear
me asking for any contributions
didn't your parents teach you manness
will they give you any home training
back home in the gambia my father would
take his shoe and conquer me on my
forehead
what you're going to conquer me
you should encourage your girls as an
adult yes
it's all right matthew
it's all right this is between desmond
and me right
find the moment you have escaped the
conch
desmond i just think that you should
stop treating me like that look you work
here and you do as you told and if i
want to treat you as a boy you have to
accept it but the man is a grown man
you're gonna fool me
look desmond
i've been here four years now and i
trained for two years before that
everyone in this shop treats me well
except you
and i think that basically you don't
appreciate me and i think it's about
time things changed
johnny are you drunk
do i look drunk
i think you should listen to the man he
has a point what point is that it's time
for change desmond change oh you want
chance there you go one two tony if this
is all right they have asking for race
the answer in one word is no no no i'm
leaving come here tony
[Applause]
right
what's the problem
totally merely try to explain the
frustrations of working for a despotic
he dictator his big mouth before
operating his brain
desmond yes my dear
i will not have you patronizing a much
loved committed hard-working loyal
member of staff apologize i am so sorry
let me see i know what you are like when
i'm not here you know i just got to
leave the shop for five minutes and you
are squabbling like a yard full of
turkeys
while i'm away i want you all to try
pulling together keep this shop running
smoothly we cannot afford to be rude to
each other
is that clear desmond oh yeah sure
all right that'll be lee now okay you
got the number to college you know where
to find me what is this you're going to
do again i got a lecture about hair care
here here desmond could do with a
lecture in people care
shel look i don't want to rush you right
but i've got the hood down and there's
this pigeon circling okay
bye everyone yeah enjoy your weekend
shirley thank you
you stupid
right
right what
well i think that four years loyal
service deserves to be rewarded desmond
okay okay whole much oh i don't want
your money no no oh
i've been to the times like this there
should be a proper hierarchy of
responsibility in the shop you know what
i mean as shirley's away in the event of
anything happening to you not that
anything will happen to you but just in
case it does
i think i should be made assistant
manager
assistant manager
are you crazy
no no i'm absolutely serious and if you
can't agree to that i'm leaving go there
tony
tom i need an urgent cup right mate sit
down uh dez will be down in a sec i
don't know old foggy
are you right there yes i'm fine
uh what kind of haircut do you like
young man deluxe super deluxe or
dreadlocks
uh desmond what is it
well you see he's not actually well
splitty
well he's not actually waiting for you
he's waiting for me for you look boy
this is my chair ghetto
sit down sit down i can cut his hair as
i finish off here desmond what is this
this is my chair i've always had this
chair i bought it 20 years ago from my
cousin robert washington wilson you know
louis satsumo armstrong had a haircut in
that chair
and i remember it well
it was summer he walked in the shop he
looked straight in my eye and he said to
me
desmond what a wonderful word
[Applause]
a lifeless story i don't remember that
you don't remember anything
good afternoon everyone anyway this is
my chair and only customers of dead zone
ambrose is supposed to sit in it oh i'm
sorry desmond but as assistant manager
since when since he got promoted does
this involve more money no actually oh
fine
so desmond as assistant manager it is my
duty to advise you that you're not being
very practical here you very really have
customs at this time of day and if we
ask my client to go elsewhere we will
lose money and besides which your coal's
a bit of a health hazard are you trying
to take over my shop um i think he has a
point father and where are the books
look man you turning my own son against
me look i'm not turning against you
father all i'm saying is your assistant
manager seems to be on the right track
yes
tony is applying his economic intuition
to a situation where a high rate of
profit has been bigger too and realized
in short tony has identified the means
of any hatred load of money
all right all right you want to use my
chair
go ahead
i can't see the joke
right i'm off to fat larry's good a
butcher's the right place for a meeting
i forgot to tell you tony only desmond
ambrose knows how to use that chair i
don't think it's very funny desmond well
sure you can take a joke tony i said it
before and i'll say it again these
chairs should be overhauled i agree and
every two i'll duck it from your wedges
look desmond
i think that in shirley's absence you
should consider the opinion of your
assistant manager and your fellow
partner and if they are in agreement you
should abide by their decision look man
this is my place and i'm doing it as i
please but you're sick there's more sick
i'm not sick
well maybe you ought to take a rest for
a while your disease may be communicable
hey
i don't want your child look this is my
shop and in my shop i can sell my fit to
work or not and i feel fine
but father you have to consider the
welfare of the shop if you contaminate
everyone there won't be a desmonds those
are not africans saying
perhaps and sweezies spread diseases
that's not african popeye everything is
african
okay okay
i get it
you don't want me oh desmond it's not
that we don't want you
we're just all thinking of your
well-being look we want you fit and
strong so you can run the shop
efficiently well
maybe you're right a rest might do me
good
but um
just for a few days how about six months
[Music]
yeah look
i hope those aren't obligated because i
wouldn't be seen dead wearing one does
not know about this ah it's a surprise
ah if i had two of those in my flat i
could cut down my electricity bill the
electricity ambience is superb my plan
what plan don't worry nothing drastic i
hear desmond have a communicability
disease
he's got a cold bev that's what you may
think it may look like a cold but it
could be swine fever oh for goodness
sake beth mark you may he have a chesty
cough yes block nose yes streaming eyes
yeah swine fever
i heard it underrated you
hundreds came down with what they
thought was a common cold but after
going to hospital they did some tests
and they all had swine fever
do you think i should call a doctor oh
wait a minute lee beverly when was this
1965.
come here you have to be going for a
minute there you can't be too careful no
quite recently there was a case of
someone who thought they had a code but
it later turned out to be a particularly
facial stream of influenza you mean flu
can kill you apparently it's highly
contagious and as far as i know that man
is near death now not that i want to
alarm you how's it spread
well the carrier only has to sneeze
and any individual within 100 years is
at risk
hello good day everybody just come to
collect the books
since when have you been interested in
the accounts since you've become
interested in fashion design
terrific oh my car's gone they were
running for their lives
look beverly desmond hasn't got
influenza or swine fever she's just
overreacting isn't she matthew look
you're all being over the top right dez
has got a mild dose of a common cold
okay i love starlip customers have it
i'm not surprised wearing them stupid
shirts
how's it going fine just fine we're
expecting more people later who's that
soul
oh
what are you doing over here
[Music]
now
[Music]
and your free desmond's t-shirt thanks
so much
here you go joe last two boxes mate oh
cheers lee oh absolutely cream cracker
come on
oh pork pie
can you eat your lunch at home no
that was new customers yeah some of them
can't take a hint yeah it's great in it
full house you sure you're not over
doing it no of course not this is just
what desmond's needs are these new
customers
what about them they're in our seats
well they're not exactly your seats now
are they pork pie i know they're not my
seats but we sit in them that's true
tone we do the seats are for paying
customers are you having a cup no
exactly tony i have work to do
you try going down the library mat oh
look ton we just want our seats back
mate are you having a cut then lee no
not today but we're regulars we got
rides uh right's over what race tower
seats they belong to us i'm sorry
but as assistant manager i've had to
come to a decision about this and as far
as i'm concerned paying customers come
first we need all the new clients we can
get what about loyalty mate yes i've
been coming here for years and i've been
coming here since before you were born
look pork pie this isn't personal it's
business if you're not having a cut
you're not entitled to a seed okay
tony
i feel both insulted and degraded by
your statement and if you attempt to
judge me from the shop i shall begin
assisting protests in the tradition of
martin luther king and mahatma gandhi
instead
it's still you this is a non-violent
protest what seems to be the problem i'm
just trying to make everyone understand
michael that i want to run this shot
professionally that sounds excellent to
me tony well if that's how you feel you
won't have to ask us to leave we shall
walk out with our dignity intact yeah we
know when we're not wanted come on
matthew coming math
hello hello desmond
are you feeling any better no
surely when you're coming home ah
you're called getting your dog no he's
not the qualities beverly
what are you doing there i don't know
since six o'clock this morning she'd
been in the kitchen i don't know what
she's doing all i can smell is bush tea
on camp for ready tonight
oh that's nice uh so she looking after
you then no she's not looking after me
she trying to kill
me sonny don't worry
charlie is that you i'll have desmond up
and running in no time running running
where
she can replace me
surely just leave desmond ambrose to me
these remedies were passed down to me by
my grandmother's mother but she's dead
and i'm alive
the day she died she looked better than
you don't ever try and question me
desmond ambrose you're in my care no
no take off your pajama top it's time
for me to rob your dog
but stop please fight you fighting me
get hold of it get on my gun oh i have
it let it go
i wonder what that is because i don't
care if you try and stop me or not i am
going to pull
[Applause]
no what you need is a good wash out you
want some serracy tea fever grass
kananga water
desmond you have to come back no i'm not
coming back to a place where no i ain't
wanted oh come on there's a sharp nature
well just the other day you were saying
it was too sick to walk i look well to
you kareya
it's just a cold desmond last week it
was swine fever oh you know what bev's
like this
i've got an announcement to make
since i've been upstairs i've been
thinking
the shop's been going a long time
and i think it's time i had a rest
i mean this illness has shown me there's
more to life than desmond
doesn't
what are you saying and i'm saying that
i'm thinking of returning back home no
desmond you can't now my mind's made up
as far as i'm concerned you could call
the sharp tonys but that would be the
end of an era well so be it i mean even
surely i said that someday the shutters
will have to calm down but then what am
i going to do without you
life goes on my friend dez we need you
peckham pick amnesia
england needs you
no
i've made up my mind
oh
the shop is going to close desmond is
dying your parents are going back home
and it's all your fault what are you
talking about look dez is leaving mate
how come we'll never be the same look
i'm sure father's just a bit overruled
he'll come to his sense as soon as
mother gets back but tony is depriving
us of our heritage
well tony is thinking like a businessman
it should be commended yeah uh listen
guys i know i'm sorry i'm on all my own
today and it's uh
oh i saw that
you're right
michael
hello tony uh what brings you into early
client cancel so i thought i'd come over
and see how things are going oh right uh
um
i'm sorry
where are the books uh yeah i was
meaning to tell you about that uh a mate
of mine's got him no don't worry he's a
qualified accountant tony what's your
mate doing with the books
we see i was thinking that having a
partner that's also the company
accountant represents a possible
conflict of interest so i decided that
they should be done by an outside
independent company what would it so why
you turning my no
[Laughter]
come here
hello father
what is it michael
i think tony could do with some help
i didn't think so before uh we only
suggested you take a rest father you
could have fooled me
look i know you made your mind up but
look there's really no need to retire
let's face it desmonds could never be
desmonds without desmond the shop needs
you father
you think so i know so
you want me back yes we all do
on one condition anything
sir please
[Laughter]
please
pretty please
pretty please daddy
pretty please
daddy
satisfied yes
oh there's one more thing what
you remember that time when you were
running around the dressing table and
you said it fell down of its own accord
i was eight years old
did it fall or was it pushed
i pushed it i pushed it okay
say sorry
look this is ridiculous
i'm sorry about the dressing table all
right
all right
does this mean that you're coming back
well i'll have to think about it oh for
crying out now father i'm sorry i mean
daddy
of course i'm coming back it's my shop
isn't it you stupid boy
[Music]
[Applause]
hello everybody
welcome back my dear it's nice to see
you
so shelly how was the lecturing i hope
your students were all as dedicated as
me i hope all your students weren't as
old as him
the students were great the course was
very well organized my hotel was
fabulous i even had my own jacuzzi yeah
but it wasn't home uh well home wasn't
home without you
right so i see the shop got on well
without me oh by the way tony
congratulations on your promotion
lee has told me everything
yeah our everything went well despite
des being ill upstairs we all pulled
together in opposite directions the shot
was really busy we were ran yeah
standing room only we didn't mind
standing ah so tony you are in charge oh
yeah
yeah and you all supported tony yes yes
and you all be here oh yes
so um you're thanked too neither is one
ah
thank you tony
don't mention it charlie shirley i saw
you in lee's car
but i couldn't quite keep up tell her i
am sick i'm well i'm curious
i haven't lost the touch oh beverly i
can't thank you enough for looking after
desmond he tried to resist the healing
powers but he finally succumbed
you know
somebody at the college was telling me
about this new killer strain of
influenza
apparently the symptoms are similar to
the common cold really
you know what you need tony a good watch
[Music]
ah