[Music]
i want
[Music]
speed widen up your wares and feel the
scratches
don't scrub your face ricky some people
give the right time for such a golden
opportunity to be your skivvy there's
one i don't think so the boy is being
unloaded on the ground floor of a great
barbering institution it's one thing
being allowed in on the ground floor mr
ambrose but it's another oven to sweep
it up it's good training it strengthens
the wrists yes and it's doing wonders
for your legs what am i going to learn
about the cuts the styles you know all
the fun stuff
well ricky like that always says
you can have the fun without learning
the fundamentals
sean knows all about flo sweeping he's
now mastering the ancient art of tea
making essential to the barber's craft
did someone mention tea
oh guys your timing is on candy
bag dropping a teapot from 300 yards
hurt yourself old friend
is this an unofficial barber's holiday
today desmond or you're just feeling
your age old man seniority brings it's
just rewards i am here in an executive
capacity
you hear him sean is helping out in the
shop today to supplement his grant i
know what you're going through sean
i've been trying to supplement the grant
all my life augustus neapolitan
cleveland grant
desmond is teaching ricky all he knows
about barbering well that takes care of
this morning
so charlie
what's on the menu for the party
who would have believed it
35 years in this country 36 years i came
first i was a pioneer ricky
did i tell you yes man you're supposed
to be teaching dubai not boring him to
death all right
so how often do you have these parties
then well about every five years man
they're wicked you know but this year i
think it's gonna be the wickedest boom
bastard
[Laughter]
[Applause]
well my mouth just watering thinking
about your cooking shelly and michael's
eyes are watering just thinking about
the expense
so what are you making this year well
look i've been studying these recipe
books all morning but i've considered
everything from cut spoon dumplings
pepper pot tea tree to conquer and
cassava bread yeah man
speaking of studying where is our
student in residence this morning macho
oh he's helping out here the market
stall lee has taken a shine to this
young lady who helps out on the stall
next to his today's the day lee wants
matthew to take care of business while
lee uh takes care of business
lee seems to be quite taken with this
girl
he's showing all the symptoms of a man
in lore
[Music]
i wonder
do you think you could possibly drag
yourself away from your lovesick uglies
and give me a hand
that's another lost thing
you can lose yourself any time man
you only lose your art once it's not
your heart you've lost it's your mind
look at the way she moves man
there's an old african saying
only a fool puts passion before profit
but
she is a nice looking girl
nice looking
she's
she's a stunner she's she's a goddess
she's she's
she's coming over here huh
what am i gonna do what am i gonna say
don't you see what you usually say
hello darling how's about it
you could employ one of your more
scintillating pieces of rapper to you
and say
wanna party with the packing prince
try being slightly more sophisticated
and say hello
get your fertility mask get your african
fertility nurse here get fertile for the
weekend
unique line of sales pattern you got
there
yeah well you've got to give the punters
what they want oh and at the moment it's
uh african fertility masks interesting
hi i'm della
and you're yeah yeah
i don't mess with his business yet
i'm just going to the caf do you guys
want anything oh a cup of tea would be
nice not too much milk
one and three quarter sugars
a wrap
and a bucket of cold water
for lea
man i've got a better idea why don't you
sprint off and get the couples while
della and i are endowed in the time on
the courtship ritual of the southern
london room
huh
look oh oh right
all of my usual man
there's a small question of finance
i'm a student you know
and don't hurry back
so uh
tell me about yourself then
right you got all that ricky all in the
noddle mr ambrose you want a chicken
sandwich with butter on white bread with
tomatoes mayonnaise and cucumber but no
lettuce and a little black pepper
shirley wants cottage cheese lettuce
tomato and peeled cucumber on crisp
bread with low fat spread sean wants
thinly sliced roast beef with mustard
and horseradish on brown bread with
butter some potato salad and some
coleslaw on the side of the plate but
not touching the sandwich
and pork pie just wants a bit of what
you all have him
one day
that boy's gonna make an excellent
barber
let's hope he makes an excellent
sandwich but at least that's one less
meal for me to worry about good because
you'll need all your powers of skill and
concentration to make sure that the food
is just right for the party
i've been looking forward to this for
five years
sean bring the rest of the boxes in
william
traffic waters have been sweeping around
here like vultures recently so what you
can't see i'm busy in a man
she's been standing near that chair too
long now we seem to have everything on
the list um champagne red and white wine
lager uh mineral water sparkling and
still uh rum yes and the ramen i don't
mind telling you father after spending
this amount of money i feel like a drink
myself was it horrendously expensive yes
horrendously oh good
don't be such a meanie it is your
contribution to the party oh yes michael
don't be such a meanie
father what exactly is your contribution
to this celebration i mean i bought the
drinks mothers were praying a meal
shawn's doing the music meanwhile you
seem to be sitting back and relaxing
well this is what's called enjoying the
fruits of one's labor that's what i've
contributed 35 years of hard labor to
make all this
possible
how are the powers of the party shirley
it's going to be fantastic mandy
charlie's got some recipes here i
haven't tasted since i was a boy you
know i've never seen such an elaborate
arrangement since pinky perkins married
rupert de groot sikes
you know they had this one dish it was a
quail stuffed inside a pigeon inside a
guinea fowl inside a duck inside a
chicken inside a goose inside a turkey
oh
we can beat that
at the last party we had 10 red mullets
and 100 chicken wings all stuffed inside
one pork pie
shirley mixed them it was easy
no rest for mother then
michael
don't you think it would be a nice idea
if someone else did the cooking for the
party absolutely not nope uh i'm not
paying for caters no that's not what i
mean i just thought that perhaps
grub up
ah um ricky i understand you're a bit of
a dab hand in the kitchen well it's been
said by many i'm sure i suppose well
you're not thinking of well i'd lend a
hand and i'd be around in an executive
capacity of course there cannot
why not because because they're not
guyanese
i'm a pork pie i mean i do a pretty mean
stir-fry and i'm not chinese
i'm up for it it's a deal
i'm gonna make love me
yes i will i will yes i will i'm gonna
make
it would seem somebody else has
something to celebrate around here lee
has got a day tomorrow night with his
dream girl when you're young and in love
all of this love business is playing
havoc with my profit margin
for you and if things go well bring her
to the party only make sure she's eaten
first
mandy and ricky are cooking the food oh
bonus can't wait me
who's definitely in love
i'm uh gonna have to make a move oh
that's funny i was thinking of exactly
the same thing myself
i meant for the door oh but it's only
quarter past 12. what that late what
you're not going to change into a
pumpkin or anything are you
hey
i better check you out just in case
[Applause]
aren't you going to answer that no no
it's probably a wrong number
[Music]
the pagan prince is either making a
profit or out partying with his posse
leave me
back
hi
missed you at denise's party give me a
bed in the morning right
it's a big wet one
[Applause]
you don't have to make any excuses
this is her first date you don't owe me
any explanations you're absolutely right
lee i treat a lot of people for stress
and most of it comes from their
relationships i like to keep mine
stress-free oh so you reckon this
aromatherapy stuff really works in
yeah
oh funny i'm a great believer in the
laying on of our hands myself i really
must be going
oh i'll call you a cab i mean i'll give
you a lift but i'm bound to be over the
limit very wise hey the pecking prince
was never meant to be a pedestrian
you call the cab
i'll pour us a last drink
all right
and i tell him there's no rush yeah
listen sean you've got to listen to me
sean listen right i'm telling you right
she's got this thing about her yeah this
aura now you know how some people they
give off a feeling of like goodness
right
no
oh look and her eyes man her eyes she
had two of them
notice of him lee
he has no sense of romance well come on
let's get going i'll tell you if you can
still talk about dela after two hours of
hard circuit training i'll know you're
in love hey no worries bring her to the
party oh sure sure you're gonna love her
huh
desmond
how did you feel on our first date
delirious
when the georgetown dreamers were
playing at a sugar shack and i saw you
standing across the dance floor my heart
skipped a whole heap of
but i recall desmond you were always
skipping beats
i can sense yet now
you and your blue floral dress your
diamante brooch that was my best friend
dorothea
the catering staff of all right you
won't be laughing when you see the bill
father
you get everything mandy well yes but
but what we don't know what most of it
is but it all looks very exciting we're
raring to go remember i mean the prices
are some of these things i mean am i
having to haggle over salt uh yes right
well let's just get this groceries
upstairs and get a few pots out but the
party's not until tomorrow yes but you
two have to season up the chicken from
now
how much
look i'll tell you what mate the pekka
prince might just have found his
princess you know lee i didn't think it
was possible to do one-arm press-ups and
still keep talking
this thing does sound wicked though so
when are you seeing her again i was
going to bring her to your mum and dad's
do right and lee you're getting a
parking ticket mate what
you know when you asked me when was i
going to see della again
well
i just have
[Music]
there you go lee oh yeah nothing like a
cup of tea in a moment of crisis i don't
see what all the fuss is about someone
has to stick up for people in uniform
she was only doing her job that's just
it della told me she was an
aromatherapist she was giving my car a
ticket not a massage
well you've been known to be a bit
creative with your job descriptions i'm
julie
you've been everything from a fashion
photographer to edmure's stunt double
i've never once said i was a traffic
warden well that's because there was no
mileage in it
i tell you leader man she is a
good-looking woman she's a traffic
warden
i told you no good will come of putting
pleasure before business there's an old
african saying
you can never make a good pot when your
oven is too hot
think about it
lee you've got to let her tell you her
side of the story there must be a reason
why she lied shell she's a traffic
warden lee i had to overcome some of
michael's imperfections before i could
love him oh that's right of course if
you take now for his father you'd have
been a barber instead of a banker
at least he ain't a traffic warden no
way his head's too big for the hat
so legally look look what are you gonna
do i mean you can't just leave it like
this bury yourself in your work lee
let's basically
your heart's been clapped and if you
want to reclaim it there's a price that
has to be paid there's she's a traffic
walden
sit still desmond i want you to look
your best for this party
you know one of my greatest regrets as a
barber of international redoubt
is that i've never been able to cut neon
here
i've never had a desmond special
a lot of people who wish they could say
the same
watch the sides woman and angle the
scissors more you know there's only one
thing worse than a backseat driver and
that is a backseat barber barber you've
got to look your best people have gone
to a lot of trouble and expense that's
all right well now it is mostly michael
stop vegetarian you wasn't the children
used to be never
you know it's a shame alex's exhibition
clashes with this party oh god no gloria
more champagne for me
still i would have liked all the family
to have been here well you're the one
who's always saying you should cut the
apron strings as soon as possible yeah
but it comes so
quick 35 years in england it seems like
an eternity
an afternoon it just seems like five
minutes since sean was sitting on a
plank across this chair getting his
first haircut ah a desmond special
all right
you know
i dare not think what they're doing
upstairs in that kitchen
uh oh looks like the tables have turned
a pops oh wicked tram lines mom
listen i'm just going there to organize
the sounds for tomorrow night i'll be
back late though okay okay see you all
right see ya
you know i um you've been thinking about
happening with lee and ella
you can read my mind well i was thinking
the same thing
i mean you know and that boy's become
more like a son to me over all these
years yeah and i worry about him like a
son
by now they would either be cussing and
fighting or kissing and making up
[Music]
this is a nice place that you got here
you obviously like to live in style yeah
well i like nice things you know natty
fred great set of wheels good looking
woman on my own
people say i'm a bit flash but it's just
me at least i'm honest about myself see
honesty is very important to me denna
what's the celebration hey every day's a
celebration for the peckham prince
so how's your day been did you rub
anybody up the wrong way
know
no that's just it i mean i don't know i
mean i can imagine right with your job
you must meet a lot of tense people it
must give you a real buzz to know you've
helped my mind
lee i think oh i almost forgot there is
something worth celebrating
our second date
me you shouldn't have yeah i didn't get
you anything no no you did and you
shouldn't have
lee i think i should explain yeah i'm
very interested in how i dated a woman
by the name of della an aromatherapist
who then magically turns into a meat i
made overnight oh no don't tell me i
think i got it yeah you're actually a
twin and it's your wicked sister stella
who doesn't dirty on your mind
why did you lie
i didn't lie
i just didn't tell you the whole truth
i'm listening
look
i am an aromatherapist
but i've got to earn some money to set
up my business properly look i'm not a
wheeler dealer like you lee with loads
of money making schemes
i've been treating some traffic wardens
for stress listen if they find a job too
stressful tell them to pack it in
i heard that there were some vacancies
so i took the job for six months just to
earn some money
i've told guys in the past about my day
job and this is exactly the reaction i
get i expected more from you
did you book them too
no
listen how do i know you're an
aromatherapist eh i mean at the moment
all i could smell is a rat
i'll prove it
i've got some oils in my bag well no no
no you're right it's all right no no you
can tell me what you think of my
technique
what
[Music]
oh
[Music]
so
you accuse me of lying what's the
verdict not kiwi
okay definitely not
that was guilty
listen right
i want you to come to a part of me
tomorrow night
there's some pretty special people i
want you to meet
i would love to
it's just one thing though
what
don't come in a uniform
[Music]
come on lee it's delicious
nah no thanks sure
look mandy and ricky did a fabulous job
ain't got much of a happy
time i get it
ah
have some bubbly leaves
now i know thanks dude i'm feeling too
bubbly mate
dylan never showed the pekka prince has
been made to feel like the peck and prat
well in that case have a rum
how did you get this chicken to taste so
good
we just followed the recipe
pie as mandy said it's simply a matter
of applying the basic principles of
domestic science and not applying a tin
opener as you do
there's an old african recipe
you can keep it matthew i was cooking
meals before you were born could that be
because you're considerably older than
me
that was gloria in her firm mother she
says congratulations
she wanted me to keep a bottle of
champagne for her and alex but i told
her i got it on sale or return
[Laughter]
i'll tell you the way that lock down
there are working up a first you're not
gonna have to get and get more
don't worry della's probably lost the
address well everybody knows where
desmond is she's missing some great food
there's someone to see her
dinner
oh you look gorgeous i mean look
everyone is dylan look dylan hey there's
shell this is dylan look at it
i'm sorry i'm so late um lee told me
this was a special occasion so i i
stopped off to get you a present oh
thank you well i took a bit longer than
i thought and when i came out of the
shop my car had been towed away
it's taken me all this time to get it
back
traffic wardens right
um
couldn't you have used your influence
anyway it doesn't matter now well you're
here now and that's all that matters yes
enjoy yourself there's good food good
wine good company yes and you've got a
good man and that's just the ticket
did i say tickets
you