1 00:00:10,720 --> 00:00:12,800 BEEPING 2 00:00:12,760 --> 00:00:16,680 This programme contains some strong language 3 00:00:26,840 --> 00:00:28,200 What you got? 4 00:00:33,400 --> 00:00:34,840 Matchbox car. 5 00:00:37,080 --> 00:00:38,680 Chevrolet Corvette. 6 00:00:40,280 --> 00:00:43,520 How in God's name does that get into the middle of a field in Essex? 7 00:00:43,520 --> 00:00:44,760 Dunno. 8 00:00:44,760 --> 00:00:46,960 I mean, who's been playing with cars up here? 9 00:00:46,960 --> 00:00:48,320 Dunno. 10 00:00:49,320 --> 00:00:53,400 You know, a Roman coin, I can understand, but a Chevy Corvette? 11 00:00:53,400 --> 00:00:54,800 Doesn't make any sense. 12 00:00:58,640 --> 00:00:59,760 'Ere! 13 00:01:01,560 --> 00:01:02,920 D'ya hear about old Bob Cromer? 14 00:01:02,920 --> 00:01:04,760 What about him? 15 00:01:04,760 --> 00:01:07,360 - Dead, mate. - Shut up. 16 00:01:07,360 --> 00:01:09,320 - Struck by lightning. - No. 17 00:01:11,840 --> 00:01:13,120 Third this year. 18 00:01:15,800 --> 00:01:20,720 Janet Horrowell, Greg Peters and now poor old Bob. 19 00:01:23,360 --> 00:01:25,760 - You know why, don't you? - Why? 20 00:01:25,760 --> 00:01:29,440 Cos the best finds always appear right before a thunderstorm. 21 00:01:30,840 --> 00:01:33,840 Suddenly, you've left it too late, 22 00:01:33,840 --> 00:01:37,120 - and you're the highest point in the landscape. - BEEPING 23 00:01:39,480 --> 00:01:42,400 All three were running when they were struck. 24 00:01:42,400 --> 00:01:44,120 - What a way to go. - Yeah. 25 00:01:47,160 --> 00:01:48,200 What you got? 26 00:01:50,840 --> 00:01:52,280 Pontiac Firebird. 27 00:02:01,480 --> 00:02:06,640 # Will you search through the lonely isles for me? 28 00:02:06,640 --> 00:02:11,400 # Climb through the briar and brambles? 29 00:02:11,400 --> 00:02:15,600 # I'll be your treasure... # 30 00:02:17,120 --> 00:02:19,360 You fancy a cup of Good Morning America? 31 00:02:19,360 --> 00:02:20,400 No, thanks. 32 00:02:23,720 --> 00:02:27,600 Ah! That is a damn fine cup of coffee. 33 00:02:30,240 --> 00:02:31,880 - Which...? - Twin Peaks. 34 00:02:37,040 --> 00:02:39,880 So, I was thinking about getting the band back together. 35 00:02:41,080 --> 00:02:42,880 What band? 36 00:02:42,880 --> 00:02:44,360 You and me. 37 00:02:44,360 --> 00:02:45,600 Were we in a band? 38 00:02:45,600 --> 00:02:49,440 Well, we jammed together a few times. 39 00:02:49,440 --> 00:02:52,400 I only remember once, round your flat trying to do Wonderwall 40 00:02:52,400 --> 00:02:55,320 - and you couldn't reach the high notes. - No. It was more than once. 41 00:02:55,320 --> 00:02:56,360 Did we have a name? 42 00:02:56,360 --> 00:02:59,440 - Fanny Magnet. - That's right. Fanny Magnet. 43 00:02:59,440 --> 00:03:00,880 Anyway, I've written a new song. 44 00:03:00,880 --> 00:03:03,080 I want to do it at the open mic at the White Horse. 45 00:03:03,080 --> 00:03:05,160 - What's the song called? - New Age Girl. 46 00:03:05,160 --> 00:03:06,440 - Is it about Maggie? - No. 47 00:03:09,360 --> 00:03:11,960 All right. I'm up for it, if it's any good. 48 00:03:11,960 --> 00:03:13,080 Well, come around to mine 49 00:03:13,080 --> 00:03:16,000 Tuesday night before we head off to the club and I'll play it for you. 50 00:03:18,280 --> 00:03:19,480 Hey, there. 51 00:03:20,800 --> 00:03:22,440 Who's this? 52 00:03:22,440 --> 00:03:24,320 Looks like Simon and Garfunkel. 53 00:03:29,520 --> 00:03:31,320 - Hello, there. - Wotcher. 54 00:03:31,320 --> 00:03:33,280 How are we? 55 00:03:33,280 --> 00:03:34,320 Feeling groovy. 56 00:03:40,120 --> 00:03:42,360 Good, good. 57 00:03:42,360 --> 00:03:44,360 - Lovely day. - Isn't it? 58 00:03:44,360 --> 00:03:46,160 Haven't seen one of them for a few years. 59 00:03:46,160 --> 00:03:49,640 Oh, what, the Arado? Yeah, they're pretty rare these days but, er... 60 00:03:49,640 --> 00:03:52,080 There's still a few out there if you know where to look. 61 00:03:52,080 --> 00:03:53,360 Antique shops? 62 00:03:53,360 --> 00:03:55,080 They're certainly classics, yeah. 63 00:03:56,720 --> 00:03:58,560 So you've gone for the CTX. 64 00:03:58,560 --> 00:04:00,280 Mmm... Good machine. 65 00:04:00,280 --> 00:04:01,560 Bit flashy for my liking. 66 00:04:01,560 --> 00:04:02,960 Yeah, not really your style. 67 00:04:02,960 --> 00:04:05,080 Do you have permission to detect on this land? 68 00:04:05,080 --> 00:04:06,400 Indeed we do. Do you? 69 00:04:06,400 --> 00:04:08,400 Who from? 70 00:04:08,400 --> 00:04:10,160 Not tellin' ya. 71 00:04:10,160 --> 00:04:11,760 - Immature. - Are you? 72 00:04:11,760 --> 00:04:12,880 No. You are. 73 00:04:12,880 --> 00:04:15,360 - We got here first. - Well, there's nothing stopping us 74 00:04:15,360 --> 00:04:17,120 getting permission from the land owner. 75 00:04:17,120 --> 00:04:19,760 Farmer Bishop gave us exclusive rights. 50/50. 76 00:04:19,760 --> 00:04:21,800 Well, then, we shall have to see 77 00:04:21,800 --> 00:04:26,800 if we can make Farmer Bishop a more attractive proposition. 78 00:04:26,800 --> 00:04:29,320 HE SNORTS Who are you, a Bond villain? 79 00:04:29,320 --> 00:04:33,040 We've done extensive research. I assume you have done the same. 80 00:04:33,040 --> 00:04:34,160 - Course. - Yep. 81 00:04:34,160 --> 00:04:35,640 We shall see. 82 00:04:35,640 --> 00:04:36,680 Mr Bond. 83 00:04:38,880 --> 00:04:41,200 - Come on. - Oh. Sorry, mate. Didn't mean to make you cry. 84 00:04:41,200 --> 00:04:42,320 It's hay fever. 85 00:04:44,360 --> 00:04:46,160 Don't cry, mate. I feel awful. 86 00:04:46,160 --> 00:04:48,320 It's hay fever. I forgot to take an antihistamine. 87 00:04:48,320 --> 00:04:50,560 Well, you want to borrow my hanky? 88 00:04:50,560 --> 00:04:51,640 Not crying. 89 00:04:51,640 --> 00:04:53,560 Do you want a little tissue, mate? 90 00:04:59,480 --> 00:05:00,520 Please don't cry! 91 00:05:06,960 --> 00:05:09,600 That doesn't bode at all well. What was in that file? 92 00:05:09,600 --> 00:05:11,000 Maybe they know what's in here. 93 00:05:11,000 --> 00:05:12,280 We need to go and see Bishop, 94 00:05:12,280 --> 00:05:14,200 tell him not to give anyone else permission. 95 00:05:14,200 --> 00:05:16,280 Yeah, can... Can you pop round on the way home? 96 00:05:16,280 --> 00:05:19,320 I... I've gotta go and see Mags. Help out in the shop. 97 00:05:19,320 --> 00:05:20,880 What? When will you learn to say no? 98 00:05:20,880 --> 00:05:22,680 I don't want to say no. I want to help her. 99 00:05:22,680 --> 00:05:24,120 All right, I'll go, but remember, 100 00:05:24,120 --> 00:05:26,120 I don't have any of your charm or charisma. 101 00:05:27,680 --> 00:05:28,720 Do your best. 102 00:05:41,480 --> 00:05:43,920 Hey, you animals! Get down! Be quiet! 103 00:05:45,680 --> 00:05:46,840 Yes? 104 00:05:46,840 --> 00:05:48,760 Hello, Mr Bishop, it's me. 105 00:05:48,760 --> 00:05:52,560 I came with my friend to ask for permission to detect on your land? 106 00:05:52,560 --> 00:05:54,920 Oh, yes. The metal detectors. 107 00:05:54,920 --> 00:05:56,280 Detectorists. 108 00:05:56,280 --> 00:05:57,880 Yes. Have you found something? 109 00:05:57,880 --> 00:05:59,520 - Not yet, Mr Bishop. - Larry. 110 00:05:59,520 --> 00:06:01,560 Not yet, Larry, but we were wondering 111 00:06:01,560 --> 00:06:04,280 whether you wouldn't mind not giving permission 112 00:06:04,280 --> 00:06:06,840 - to anyone else to search your land. - Right. 113 00:06:06,840 --> 00:06:10,920 It's just that there's a contingency of rogue detectorists out there. 114 00:06:10,920 --> 00:06:12,160 Rogues? 115 00:06:12,160 --> 00:06:13,240 Treasure hunters. 116 00:06:13,240 --> 00:06:15,200 They'll come under the cover of night 117 00:06:15,200 --> 00:06:17,880 and rob important sites of their artefacts. 118 00:06:17,880 --> 00:06:19,680 Good God. 119 00:06:19,680 --> 00:06:21,560 I know. It's despicable. 120 00:06:21,560 --> 00:06:24,720 I tell you what I remembered just after you left, 121 00:06:24,720 --> 00:06:27,000 there were some things ploughed up a few years ago 122 00:06:27,000 --> 00:06:29,080 that might be of interest to you. 123 00:06:29,080 --> 00:06:32,120 - What sort of things? - Well, I don't know. Trinkets. 124 00:06:32,120 --> 00:06:34,400 Looked like costume jewellery to me. 125 00:06:34,400 --> 00:06:37,360 - Any idea what happened to them? - Somewhere around. God knows where. 126 00:06:37,360 --> 00:06:40,040 I did offer them to Justine, but she thought they were ugly. 127 00:06:40,040 --> 00:06:41,800 - Is that your wife? - Where? - No. 128 00:06:41,800 --> 00:06:44,000 You... You mentioned Justine 129 00:06:44,000 --> 00:06:46,800 and I wondered whether Justine was your wife. 130 00:06:46,800 --> 00:06:47,960 Justine isn't here. 131 00:07:00,960 --> 00:07:03,120 Come on! Where are you? 132 00:07:03,120 --> 00:07:06,080 Stop chasing those rabbits. You'll never catch them, 133 00:07:06,080 --> 00:07:08,200 you fat, unhealthy creatures. 134 00:07:09,520 --> 00:07:10,640 Quite mad. 135 00:07:13,080 --> 00:07:14,640 - I can see. - Yes. 136 00:07:14,640 --> 00:07:16,840 Well, cheerio, then. I'll, er... 137 00:07:16,840 --> 00:07:19,680 I'll keep my eyes peeled for those things. 138 00:07:19,680 --> 00:07:21,640 Come on, then. Come along. 139 00:07:21,640 --> 00:07:25,200 We'll go the other way this time. Bit of a change, eh? 140 00:07:25,200 --> 00:07:28,680 I think so. It'll be good. Come on, then. You've got to keep up. 141 00:07:33,320 --> 00:07:35,960 Oh, that's lovely, Lance. How exciting. 142 00:07:35,960 --> 00:07:37,720 Yeah. Well, I thought, nothing to lose. 143 00:07:37,720 --> 00:07:40,440 I always said you should do something with your music, didn't I? 144 00:07:40,440 --> 00:07:43,280 - You did. - I used to love it when you played your mandolin. 145 00:07:43,280 --> 00:07:44,400 Reminded me of Kermit. 146 00:07:46,840 --> 00:07:48,560 Kermit plays a banjo. 147 00:07:48,560 --> 00:07:49,880 How exciting, though. 148 00:07:52,200 --> 00:07:53,360 Think you can come? 149 00:07:53,360 --> 00:07:54,400 Definitely. 150 00:07:56,200 --> 00:07:57,600 What is all this? 151 00:07:59,520 --> 00:08:01,600 Says "Mixed Spiritual" on the box. 152 00:08:01,600 --> 00:08:03,840 Yeah, it's spiritual stuff. 153 00:08:03,840 --> 00:08:05,400 Mixed. 154 00:08:05,400 --> 00:08:11,520 Tarot cards. Dream catchers. Resin dragons. Oh! 155 00:08:12,600 --> 00:08:15,640 There's this massive warehouse out by Stansted. 156 00:08:15,640 --> 00:08:17,200 You buy it by the weight. 157 00:08:17,200 --> 00:08:19,880 It's cheap, you just don't know what you're going to get. 158 00:08:19,880 --> 00:08:23,040 - Spiritual lucky dip. - Kind of, yeah. 159 00:08:23,040 --> 00:08:24,760 Found it! 160 00:08:26,040 --> 00:08:31,120 - Oh... Great. - All right, Lance. She got you slaving? 161 00:08:31,120 --> 00:08:34,160 Tony, I didn't realise you were here. Not lending a hand? 162 00:08:34,160 --> 00:08:37,640 - I can't. My herniated discs. - Gutted. 163 00:08:37,640 --> 00:08:40,560 Lance has invited us to a folk night at the White Horse next week. 164 00:08:40,560 --> 00:08:43,760 - Sounds good. - Lance is doing a gig. 165 00:08:43,760 --> 00:08:45,560 It's not a gig. I might do a song. 166 00:08:46,560 --> 00:08:48,520 Haven't decided yet. Probably won't. 167 00:08:48,520 --> 00:08:50,720 All right, Lance! Rock'n'roll. 168 00:08:50,720 --> 00:08:52,560 What's the song about? 169 00:08:52,560 --> 00:08:55,240 - Nothing. - Nothing? What's it called? 170 00:08:55,240 --> 00:08:58,720 - If that's everything, Maggie. I'll get off. - Yeah, thanks, love. 171 00:08:58,720 --> 00:09:01,400 Oh, and you're still OK to take my mum to bingo? 172 00:09:01,400 --> 00:09:03,680 Er, yeah. OK. 173 00:09:03,680 --> 00:09:06,720 - Er... You not free? - Nah, football. 174 00:09:06,720 --> 00:09:09,280 - Oh, right. You playing? - Watching. 175 00:09:09,280 --> 00:09:11,640 - Portman Road? - No. On TV. 176 00:09:13,360 --> 00:09:17,160 - Right. - Thanks, love. You know, she loves her bingo. 177 00:09:17,160 --> 00:09:19,520 Yeah. OK. See ya. 178 00:09:19,520 --> 00:09:21,960 - Bye-bye, Lance. - Bye, love. 179 00:09:21,960 --> 00:09:24,320 Oh. That's lovely. 180 00:09:24,320 --> 00:09:26,320 - I'm going back to bed. - OK. 181 00:09:48,720 --> 00:09:50,640 - Afternoon, sir. - Hello. 182 00:09:50,640 --> 00:09:53,280 - Do you have a child in this school, sir? - Pardon? 183 00:09:53,280 --> 00:09:55,880 Do you have a son or a daughter who attends this school? 184 00:09:55,880 --> 00:09:57,120 No, I don't have any kids. 185 00:09:57,120 --> 00:09:58,760 Right. 186 00:09:58,760 --> 00:10:00,160 Just taking a few photos? 187 00:10:01,320 --> 00:10:02,960 Checking my messages. 188 00:10:02,960 --> 00:10:04,840 Can I ask what you're doing here? 189 00:10:04,840 --> 00:10:07,320 Waiting for my girlfriend. She'll be out in a minute. 190 00:10:07,320 --> 00:10:08,760 What class? 191 00:10:08,760 --> 00:10:11,160 Er... Chaffinch Class, I think. 192 00:10:11,160 --> 00:10:14,640 I think all the pupils from Chaffinch Class have gone. 193 00:10:14,640 --> 00:10:18,760 She's the teacher. She's not... She's a teacher. 194 00:10:18,760 --> 00:10:20,920 Here she is now. 195 00:10:20,920 --> 00:10:22,160 Rightio, sir. 196 00:10:22,160 --> 00:10:24,400 It's just you were making some of the mums nervous. 197 00:10:30,960 --> 00:10:33,280 Hello. This is a nice surprise. 198 00:10:33,280 --> 00:10:34,600 Good day? 199 00:10:34,600 --> 00:10:35,640 Yeah, not bad. 200 00:10:37,320 --> 00:10:38,920 Do I look like a paedophile? 201 00:10:38,920 --> 00:10:40,160 What? 202 00:10:40,160 --> 00:10:42,120 I've just been questioned by a policeman 203 00:10:42,120 --> 00:10:45,040 cos I was making mums nervous. SHE LAUGHS 204 00:10:45,040 --> 00:10:47,320 Well, you do have a bit of a look about you. 205 00:10:47,320 --> 00:10:49,000 What kind of look? 206 00:10:49,000 --> 00:10:51,080 I'd have said more drug dealer than paedophile. 207 00:10:51,080 --> 00:10:52,720 Oh... That's what it must be. 208 00:10:52,720 --> 00:10:54,600 - Yeah. - I feel better now. 209 00:10:54,600 --> 00:10:55,840 Yeah, don't worry about it. 210 00:10:57,640 --> 00:10:59,120 Lance is not my boyfriend. 211 00:10:59,120 --> 00:11:00,520 - GIGGLING: - He worships you. 212 00:11:00,520 --> 00:11:03,000 He does not. He thinks I'm a wet blanket. 213 00:11:03,000 --> 00:11:06,640 - Maybe he's more astute than I give him credit for. - Ha, ha, ha. Cute. 214 00:11:06,640 --> 00:11:08,000 I think he's lonely. 215 00:11:08,000 --> 00:11:10,720 He says he wants to get the old band back together. 216 00:11:10,720 --> 00:11:13,160 - You and Lance were in a band? - Apparently. 217 00:11:13,160 --> 00:11:14,520 What were you called? 218 00:11:14,520 --> 00:11:16,200 Can't remember. 219 00:11:16,200 --> 00:11:18,440 He says he wants us to do one of his songs 220 00:11:18,440 --> 00:11:20,440 at the White Horse next Thursday. 221 00:11:20,440 --> 00:11:21,520 Can you come? 222 00:11:21,520 --> 00:11:24,240 - No. It's a school night, I have marking to do. - Oh, bugger. 223 00:11:24,240 --> 00:11:26,440 What's brought this on, then? Is he having a crisis? 224 00:11:26,440 --> 00:11:28,360 I think he's trying to impress Maggie. 225 00:11:28,360 --> 00:11:31,240 Oh, dear. He really needs to move on. 226 00:11:31,240 --> 00:11:33,640 - What's the song like? - Haven't heard it yet. 227 00:11:33,640 --> 00:11:35,160 Could be excruciating. 228 00:11:35,160 --> 00:11:37,960 Could be really embarrassing. Please come. 229 00:11:37,960 --> 00:11:39,880 - SHE LAUGHS - You're really selling it. 230 00:11:39,880 --> 00:11:42,400 I'd truly love to, but I'll have 30 stories to read. 231 00:11:42,400 --> 00:11:44,400 Imagine their little faces when I say, 232 00:11:44,400 --> 00:11:47,240 - I couldn't be bothered and went to the pub instead. - Fuck 'em. 233 00:12:32,160 --> 00:12:35,480 PHONE RINGS 234 00:12:35,480 --> 00:12:37,560 - Hello, mate. - Do you like swedes? 235 00:12:39,040 --> 00:12:41,440 No. Er, no, the vegetable. 236 00:12:42,920 --> 00:12:44,120 Good. 237 00:12:44,120 --> 00:12:47,040 Yeah, come round, I'll knock you something up. 238 00:12:47,040 --> 00:12:48,560 Oh, you speak to Bishop? 239 00:12:48,560 --> 00:12:51,520 Yeah, interesting. He's utterly mad. 240 00:12:51,520 --> 00:12:54,800 I'll tell you when I come round. I'm in the middle of something. 241 00:12:54,800 --> 00:12:55,920 The A414. 242 00:12:57,200 --> 00:12:58,240 All right. See ya. 243 00:13:07,600 --> 00:13:11,400 So, he reckons he's still got some of the artefacts? 244 00:13:11,400 --> 00:13:12,440 He reckons so. 245 00:13:20,400 --> 00:13:23,120 Don't knock on the glass, mate. Stresses them out. 246 00:13:23,120 --> 00:13:24,320 I wasn't going to. 247 00:13:33,720 --> 00:13:36,240 So, what we eating? 248 00:13:36,240 --> 00:13:37,880 Swede surprise. 249 00:13:37,880 --> 00:13:39,480 Oh, yeah. What's the surprise? 250 00:13:39,480 --> 00:13:40,640 How bland it is. 251 00:13:43,200 --> 00:13:44,440 Hmm... 252 00:13:44,440 --> 00:13:45,800 That is bland. 253 00:13:45,800 --> 00:13:47,840 Surprisingly bland. 254 00:13:47,840 --> 00:13:50,200 Wish you hadn't told me. 255 00:13:50,200 --> 00:13:51,800 Speaking of which, 256 00:13:51,800 --> 00:13:55,040 how much are we going to tell the rest of the club about Bishop's farm? 257 00:13:55,040 --> 00:13:58,600 Well, I reckon we keep it to ourselves for the tambourine. 258 00:13:58,600 --> 00:14:00,720 I mean, if they get wind of the fact 259 00:14:00,720 --> 00:14:02,720 that there's been a previous excavation 260 00:14:02,720 --> 00:14:05,600 and Bishop's finds, whatever they turn out to be... 261 00:14:05,600 --> 00:14:09,240 Well, someone'll phone the beards and it'll all be over. 262 00:14:09,240 --> 00:14:11,680 Let's just tell them we're still in the research phase. 263 00:14:11,680 --> 00:14:15,400 Deal. So, when am I going to hear this song of yours? 264 00:14:15,400 --> 00:14:18,240 Er, I... I don't know if I want to do that any more. 265 00:14:18,240 --> 00:14:21,640 Oh, what? I built myself up for it. 266 00:14:21,640 --> 00:14:23,920 I've invited some A&R people down. 267 00:14:23,920 --> 00:14:25,920 I've run into a problem. 268 00:14:25,920 --> 00:14:27,520 Yeah? 269 00:14:27,520 --> 00:14:28,560 I can't stand up. 270 00:14:30,040 --> 00:14:31,560 Yes, you can. I've seen you. 271 00:14:31,560 --> 00:14:35,200 - No, I... I can't stand up and play the mandolin. - Why not? 272 00:14:35,200 --> 00:14:38,200 I've practised too long sitting cross-legged on the floor. 273 00:14:38,200 --> 00:14:40,080 When I get up, it just goes to shit. 274 00:14:40,080 --> 00:14:42,200 Well, sit down and play me the song. 275 00:15:04,280 --> 00:15:08,040 # Back when the sky was clear and blue 276 00:15:12,440 --> 00:15:16,920 # I met a girl who looked like you 277 00:15:20,720 --> 00:15:27,000 # But when she opened her arms I fell clean through 278 00:15:30,600 --> 00:15:34,240 # And now I don't know what to do. # 279 00:15:39,040 --> 00:15:40,160 Well? 280 00:15:40,160 --> 00:15:41,200 That's quite good. 281 00:15:41,200 --> 00:15:42,920 You... You sound surprised. 282 00:15:42,920 --> 00:15:45,320 - I am. I'm astounded. - You think it's astounding? 283 00:15:45,320 --> 00:15:48,160 No. I'm astounded that it's quite good. 284 00:15:48,160 --> 00:15:49,280 Fair enough. 285 00:15:50,680 --> 00:15:52,920 Course, it's 90% instinct. 286 00:15:52,920 --> 00:15:55,320 What are you swinging these days, young Hugh? 287 00:15:55,320 --> 00:15:56,800 I still have the VK30. 288 00:15:56,800 --> 00:16:00,720 Hm... Nothing wrong with a VK30. Good, solid detector. 289 00:16:00,720 --> 00:16:02,800 Basic, but it's got its place. 290 00:16:02,800 --> 00:16:05,200 Yeah, many a good find found with the 30. 291 00:16:05,200 --> 00:16:07,640 In fact... Tezler? 292 00:16:07,640 --> 00:16:12,680 - What d'they find the Eynsford hoard with? - XP Deus. 293 00:16:12,680 --> 00:16:14,760 Was it? Oh. 294 00:16:14,760 --> 00:16:17,440 I thought it was VK30. Anyway, good on ya. 295 00:16:20,800 --> 00:16:23,040 You and Lance have your permission yet? 296 00:16:23,040 --> 00:16:25,120 How did you know about that? 297 00:16:25,120 --> 00:16:27,280 - You told me, didn't you? - Did I? 298 00:16:27,280 --> 00:16:29,040 Well done, mate. Who else you told? 299 00:16:29,040 --> 00:16:31,240 Don't worry. I won't mention it. 300 00:16:31,240 --> 00:16:32,640 Why is it a secret? 301 00:16:32,640 --> 00:16:35,440 It's not a secret, it's just we're still researching it. 302 00:16:35,440 --> 00:16:38,440 I would not wish being struck by lightning on anyone, Russell. 303 00:16:38,440 --> 00:16:39,840 You just said he deserved it. 304 00:16:39,840 --> 00:16:41,720 That's not what I said. 305 00:16:41,720 --> 00:16:43,320 You never liked Bob Cromer. 306 00:16:43,320 --> 00:16:44,440 But that's not the point. 307 00:16:44,440 --> 00:16:46,960 Doesn't matter that me and Bob didn't always see eye to eye. 308 00:16:46,960 --> 00:16:49,040 What I am saying is that Bob Cromer 309 00:16:49,040 --> 00:16:52,400 ignored some fundamental rules of health and safety. 310 00:16:52,400 --> 00:16:54,160 Day one of metal detecting school. 311 00:16:54,160 --> 00:16:56,000 - Is there such a place? - No. - No. 312 00:16:56,000 --> 00:16:58,680 Bob was not a member of this club and I am glad, 313 00:16:58,680 --> 00:17:03,280 because we have not had a fatality in the DMDC for nearly three years, 314 00:17:03,280 --> 00:17:05,640 and I intend to keep it that way. 315 00:17:08,120 --> 00:17:10,120 So, chaps, 316 00:17:10,120 --> 00:17:11,520 how did you get on with Bishop? 317 00:17:11,520 --> 00:17:13,880 Has he shown you were he's buried his wife yet? 318 00:17:13,880 --> 00:17:16,000 Er, still very much in the research phase, Terry. 319 00:17:16,000 --> 00:17:18,800 Oh, you can't do too much research, boys. 320 00:17:18,800 --> 00:17:21,680 What are the three R's I'm always talking about, Hugh? 321 00:17:21,680 --> 00:17:23,320 Er, research, research, research. 322 00:17:23,320 --> 00:17:24,560 That's right. 323 00:17:24,560 --> 00:17:27,240 I made that up to emphasise how important research is. 324 00:17:28,280 --> 00:17:30,640 So, what is going on with this Finds table? 325 00:17:30,640 --> 00:17:34,280 That's two matchbox cars and it's... Well, it's a spoon. 326 00:17:34,280 --> 00:17:35,600 Whose is the spoon? 327 00:17:35,600 --> 00:17:36,920 That's mine. 328 00:17:36,920 --> 00:17:38,400 Do we have an ID on the spoon? 329 00:17:39,680 --> 00:17:41,040 Little Chef. 330 00:17:41,040 --> 00:17:44,360 Come on, people. We can do better than this. 331 00:17:44,360 --> 00:17:48,080 I suggest you all go and change the batteries on your detectors. 332 00:17:56,360 --> 00:17:58,240 So, why are you being so secretive? 333 00:17:58,240 --> 00:18:00,040 What do you think's on that farm? 334 00:18:00,040 --> 00:18:03,560 Well, we know there's a big Saxon ship burial around here somewhere. 335 00:18:03,560 --> 00:18:05,760 King Sexred of the East Saxons. 336 00:18:05,760 --> 00:18:07,400 Riches of the seventh century kings? 337 00:18:07,400 --> 00:18:08,560 Exactly. 338 00:18:08,560 --> 00:18:10,160 Why do you think he's around here? 339 00:18:10,160 --> 00:18:13,920 We know he's around here. Bede says so in Historia Ecclesiastica. 340 00:18:13,920 --> 00:18:15,760 Whoa, you know the Venerable Bede? 341 00:18:15,760 --> 00:18:17,040 Whoa, 342 00:18:17,040 --> 00:18:18,960 do you know what patronise means? 343 00:18:18,960 --> 00:18:20,360 Oh, sorry. 344 00:18:20,360 --> 00:18:23,200 It's just I don't think half the professors at university 345 00:18:23,200 --> 00:18:24,280 have read Bede. 346 00:18:24,280 --> 00:18:26,560 Well, you can learn a lot from the amateurs. 347 00:18:26,560 --> 00:18:28,880 We're the most passionate, the plebs. 348 00:18:28,880 --> 00:18:30,760 Are you allowed to use that word these days? 349 00:18:30,760 --> 00:18:33,520 In a historical context, yeah, it's fine. 350 00:18:33,520 --> 00:18:36,280 I could do some reading at uni, if you like, see what I can find out. 351 00:18:36,280 --> 00:18:37,560 Yeah, cool. 352 00:18:37,560 --> 00:18:38,960 Lance won't mind, will he? 353 00:18:38,960 --> 00:18:40,240 No. Why would he? 354 00:18:40,240 --> 00:18:42,600 Well, I think he thinks I'm muscling in. 355 00:18:42,600 --> 00:18:45,760 No, he's just very protective of his patch and his hobby, 356 00:18:45,760 --> 00:18:48,800 and he's got a big problem with the Antiquisearchers. 357 00:18:48,800 --> 00:18:49,920 The Antiquisearchers? 358 00:18:49,920 --> 00:18:51,760 I know, right? What does that even mean? 359 00:18:51,760 --> 00:18:54,000 They've just taken the first half of antiquities 360 00:18:54,000 --> 00:18:55,920 and put it on the front of searchers. 361 00:18:55,920 --> 00:18:58,560 Why can't they just call themselves the Antiquity Searchers? 362 00:18:58,560 --> 00:19:02,080 It's not like it's pun or brilliant word play, or anything. 363 00:19:02,080 --> 00:19:03,480 Makes me mad. 364 00:19:03,480 --> 00:19:05,440 And you think Lance has the problem. 365 00:19:07,640 --> 00:19:09,920 Er, this next track... This... 366 00:19:09,920 --> 00:19:12,480 This first track... This track... 367 00:19:14,360 --> 00:19:20,080 This... This song is about, er, a very special lady... 368 00:19:33,720 --> 00:19:37,800 I wrote this song about, er, a very special person. 369 00:19:39,160 --> 00:19:42,080 A person...who means an awful lot to me. 370 00:19:43,640 --> 00:19:47,920 A person whose light I only saw after she was gone... 371 00:19:49,320 --> 00:19:51,520 ..and I was plunged into darkness. 372 00:19:55,800 --> 00:19:57,520 This is a song about how you... 373 00:19:57,520 --> 00:20:00,760 you don't really know what you've got until it's gone. 374 00:20:01,760 --> 00:20:06,800 About how...you don't appreciate the good things in your life... 375 00:20:08,080 --> 00:20:11,560 ..until they bunk off with the manager of the local Pizza Hut. 376 00:20:16,000 --> 00:20:17,120 Thank you. 377 00:20:30,360 --> 00:20:33,400 It's actually all right. It's surprisingly good. 378 00:20:33,400 --> 00:20:34,680 Tell me the lyrics. 379 00:20:34,680 --> 00:20:37,920 - Can't remember them. - Yes, you can, some of them. 380 00:20:37,920 --> 00:20:39,200 You'll have to come along. 381 00:20:39,200 --> 00:20:41,920 - It's about Maggie. - I reckon so. Well, yeah, it is. 382 00:20:41,920 --> 00:20:44,120 And are you singing, or just playing? 383 00:20:44,120 --> 00:20:45,520 Might lay down a harmony. 384 00:20:45,520 --> 00:20:49,480 - SHE LAUGHS - Oh, my God. I think I'm going to have to come. 385 00:20:49,480 --> 00:20:51,920 I'll work through lunch to get my marking done. Wait... 386 00:20:53,040 --> 00:20:57,720 And Lance is going to be sitting on the floor...? 387 00:20:57,720 --> 00:20:59,080 Cross-legged. 388 00:21:00,600 --> 00:21:02,320 So, who's the front man? 389 00:21:02,320 --> 00:21:03,560 He is, I suppose. 390 00:21:03,560 --> 00:21:06,160 With you standing behind him staring at the ground? 391 00:21:06,160 --> 00:21:08,280 I won't be staring at the ground. What do you mean? 392 00:21:08,280 --> 00:21:10,120 You are always staring at the ground. 393 00:21:10,120 --> 00:21:12,240 - No, I'm not. - You are. 394 00:21:12,240 --> 00:21:15,240 You're always scanning the ground looking for stuff. 395 00:21:15,240 --> 00:21:17,800 You can't help yourself. It's all those years detecting. 396 00:21:17,800 --> 00:21:20,280 You never look up. No wonder you've got a bad back. 397 00:21:20,280 --> 00:21:22,040 - Come on. - Honestly. 398 00:21:22,040 --> 00:21:24,320 I bet you'd be amazed at the things you've missed 399 00:21:24,320 --> 00:21:28,920 cos you've been locked in your own little world staring at the floor. 400 00:21:28,920 --> 00:21:31,160 Rubbish. SHE LAUGHS 401 00:21:34,640 --> 00:21:37,400 JETS ROARING 402 00:21:39,960 --> 00:21:41,000 That is so cool. 403 00:21:42,000 --> 00:21:43,040 Hey, mate? 404 00:21:47,640 --> 00:21:48,720 Mate. 405 00:21:53,480 --> 00:21:54,760 Sophie. 406 00:21:58,400 --> 00:21:59,840 Did you phone her? 407 00:21:59,840 --> 00:22:01,240 Texted. 408 00:22:01,240 --> 00:22:03,400 - But I thought we were doing this on our own. - We are. 409 00:22:03,400 --> 00:22:05,720 She hasn't even got her detector. What's the problem? 410 00:22:05,720 --> 00:22:07,440 She already knew about the permission. 411 00:22:07,440 --> 00:22:09,880 - Yeah, only cos you told her. - I don't remember telling her. 412 00:22:09,880 --> 00:22:13,960 - That is so cool. - What's she saying? - That was amazing. 413 00:22:13,960 --> 00:22:15,360 Sophie. 414 00:22:15,360 --> 00:22:16,720 Did you organise that for me? 415 00:22:18,040 --> 00:22:20,280 - What? - The fly-past? 416 00:22:20,280 --> 00:22:22,120 Huh? 417 00:22:22,120 --> 00:22:24,120 Oh, never mind. How's it going? 418 00:22:24,120 --> 00:22:25,560 Yeah, all right. Not bad. 419 00:22:25,560 --> 00:22:26,720 Found anything? 420 00:22:26,720 --> 00:22:30,280 Er, not much. Three copper nails and a screwdriver. 421 00:22:30,280 --> 00:22:32,800 You got copper nails. I got five of them. 422 00:22:32,800 --> 00:22:34,680 Ship's nails? 423 00:22:34,680 --> 00:22:37,640 Nah, too modern. These are brand-new. 424 00:22:37,640 --> 00:22:39,360 Pain in the arse. 425 00:22:39,360 --> 00:22:41,680 You know this Saxon king that you're looking for? 426 00:22:41,680 --> 00:22:44,200 Sexred, King of the East Saxons, yes. 427 00:22:44,200 --> 00:22:46,280 I'm not convinced that he's buried here. 428 00:22:46,280 --> 00:22:49,440 - Why not? Where's he buried, then? - I'm not sure he's buried anywhere. 429 00:22:49,440 --> 00:22:51,960 Well, he's got to be buried somewhere. 430 00:22:51,960 --> 00:22:53,160 The Venerable Bede... 431 00:22:53,160 --> 00:22:55,320 Overrated. 432 00:22:55,320 --> 00:22:57,280 OK. 433 00:22:57,280 --> 00:22:58,400 Bede says that Sexred 434 00:22:58,400 --> 00:23:02,200 and his brothers went to fight the West Saxons. 435 00:23:02,200 --> 00:23:03,960 They were slain in Wessex. 436 00:23:03,960 --> 00:23:06,240 Yeah, and then they brought the body back here. 437 00:23:06,240 --> 00:23:08,960 The army was completely destroyed. There was nobody left. 438 00:23:08,960 --> 00:23:12,200 Well, a couple of them carried the corpse here. 439 00:23:12,200 --> 00:23:14,400 Sorry, I don't buy it. 440 00:23:14,400 --> 00:23:16,240 Why are you so convinced that he's here? 441 00:23:16,240 --> 00:23:19,720 - He saw a documentary on Discovery presented by Derek Thompson. - Who? 442 00:23:19,720 --> 00:23:20,880 Charlie off of Casualty. 443 00:23:22,320 --> 00:23:25,520 No, it...it's not actually universally accepted 444 00:23:25,520 --> 00:23:27,600 that they did voyage west, anyway. 445 00:23:28,640 --> 00:23:32,440 Some sources believe that the battle took place here. 446 00:23:32,440 --> 00:23:33,800 What sources? 447 00:23:33,800 --> 00:23:35,040 Charlie off of Casualty. 448 00:23:36,920 --> 00:23:37,960 Who's that? 449 00:23:39,520 --> 00:23:40,560 Where? 450 00:23:42,080 --> 00:23:43,440 Over there. 451 00:23:44,920 --> 00:23:47,440 - In the long grass. - It's probably just a rabbit. 452 00:23:51,840 --> 00:23:54,800 It's those wankers trying to muscle in on our patch. 453 00:24:00,120 --> 00:24:01,160 Morning, ladies. 454 00:24:02,200 --> 00:24:04,760 - Havin' a cuddle? - What's going on? 455 00:24:04,760 --> 00:24:07,120 We don't have to justify ourselves to you. 456 00:24:07,120 --> 00:24:09,480 Right, so you're just having a cuddle in the grass, then. 457 00:24:09,480 --> 00:24:10,600 Come on, let's go. 458 00:24:13,280 --> 00:24:14,440 What's that? 459 00:24:14,440 --> 00:24:15,560 Oh, nothing. 460 00:24:17,320 --> 00:24:20,520 'Ere, look. Look at that. 461 00:24:20,520 --> 00:24:21,640 You bastards. 462 00:24:21,640 --> 00:24:24,920 Look, it's them copper nails. Right, I'm calling the police. 463 00:24:24,920 --> 00:24:28,160 Er, for what reason? This is a public right of way. 464 00:24:28,160 --> 00:24:32,360 We've got just as much right to be on this land as you have. 465 00:24:32,360 --> 00:24:34,000 Hello? Er, police? 466 00:24:34,000 --> 00:24:35,400 All right. Just hold on. 467 00:24:35,400 --> 00:24:38,160 Yeah, I'm in a field on the Birchwood Road 468 00:24:38,160 --> 00:24:41,640 and I've come across a couple, I assume they're a couple, 469 00:24:41,640 --> 00:24:43,120 canoodling in the long grass. 470 00:24:43,120 --> 00:24:45,280 I know you're not on the phone. 471 00:24:45,280 --> 00:24:46,840 Hm? Describe them? 472 00:24:46,840 --> 00:24:50,800 Well... They look a bit like the folk duo, Simon and Garfunkel. 473 00:24:53,000 --> 00:24:54,720 Yeah. Yeah, Mrs Robinson. 474 00:24:54,720 --> 00:24:57,360 I know you're not on the phone. So... 475 00:24:58,400 --> 00:25:00,240 Come on. Let's go. 476 00:25:07,040 --> 00:25:08,400 Who were they? 477 00:25:08,400 --> 00:25:09,560 Antiquisearchers. 478 00:25:11,720 --> 00:25:13,600 - FARMER BISHOP: - Hey, there! 479 00:25:13,600 --> 00:25:17,040 Don't worry, they won't bite. They're only being friendly. 480 00:25:18,600 --> 00:25:20,280 Here he is. 481 00:25:20,280 --> 00:25:23,280 I've been looking for you chaps. I've found this for you. 482 00:25:23,280 --> 00:25:25,360 - Larry, this is Sophie. - Hi. 483 00:25:25,360 --> 00:25:27,560 Pleasure. Pleasure. 484 00:25:27,560 --> 00:25:29,600 This is what I was telling you about. 485 00:25:29,600 --> 00:25:31,200 Old Man Adam found these 486 00:25:31,200 --> 00:25:33,480 when he was ploughing, God knows how many years ago. 487 00:25:33,480 --> 00:25:34,920 30, 40 years ago...? 488 00:25:36,000 --> 00:25:37,480 They're probably nothing. 489 00:25:40,760 --> 00:25:44,240 You're right there, Larry. Probably worthless. 490 00:25:44,240 --> 00:25:45,880 Well, you're welcome to have them. 491 00:25:45,880 --> 00:25:49,600 Oh, no, no, no. You keep hold of them. 492 00:25:49,600 --> 00:25:53,000 - Any idea where they were ploughed up? - I'm not exactly sure, 493 00:25:53,000 --> 00:25:54,720 but it wasn't in the paddock. 494 00:25:56,360 --> 00:25:58,080 Don't go diggin' around down there. 495 00:25:58,080 --> 00:26:00,120 Not allowed in the paddock. 496 00:26:00,120 --> 00:26:01,240 Right you are, Larry. 497 00:26:03,160 --> 00:26:06,000 What do you think this is made of? Brass? 498 00:26:09,840 --> 00:26:13,400 Could be brass, Larry... Could be brass. 499 00:26:17,800 --> 00:26:19,560 Come on, girls. Come on. 500 00:26:20,600 --> 00:26:22,480 - HE WHISTLES - Come on. 501 00:26:29,960 --> 00:26:32,640 - We gotta tell him. - Tell him what? 502 00:26:32,640 --> 00:26:35,720 - You know damn well, what. That was gold. - So? 503 00:26:35,720 --> 00:26:38,240 We have a responsibility to report it. 504 00:26:38,240 --> 00:26:41,400 Wrong. We don't have a responsibility to do anything. 505 00:26:42,600 --> 00:26:43,920 It's nothing to do with us. 506 00:26:48,320 --> 00:26:51,640 Listen, you tell him what those things are 507 00:26:51,640 --> 00:26:54,120 and he'll be on the phone to the Eastern Daily press 508 00:26:54,120 --> 00:26:57,800 and this whole place will be crawling with stubble surfers 509 00:26:57,800 --> 00:27:00,280 faster than you can say Staffordshire Hoard. 510 00:27:05,000 --> 00:27:08,360 Have plenty of time to report to our local Finds Liaison Officer 511 00:27:08,360 --> 00:27:10,560 when we actually find something. 512 00:27:10,560 --> 00:27:13,280 This could be a site of real importance! 513 00:27:13,280 --> 00:27:15,040 Let's hope so. 514 00:27:15,040 --> 00:27:19,680 Look, I'm not trying to do anything illegal or underhand. 515 00:27:19,680 --> 00:27:21,480 We didn't find those things. 516 00:27:21,480 --> 00:27:24,400 Old Man Adam did, over 40 years ago. 517 00:27:24,400 --> 00:27:27,120 So, when we do find something, well, we'll... 518 00:27:27,120 --> 00:27:29,240 We'll go through the proper channels. 519 00:27:29,240 --> 00:27:31,320 Declare it, all above board. 520 00:27:31,320 --> 00:27:35,040 But let's find it first. All right? 521 00:27:35,040 --> 00:27:37,400 BEEPING 522 00:27:37,400 --> 00:27:38,760 Told you. See? 523 00:27:41,680 --> 00:27:42,800 Venerable Bede... 524 00:27:45,000 --> 00:27:46,200 Full of shit. 525 00:28:00,280 --> 00:28:02,560 RAPID BEEPING 526 00:28:05,760 --> 00:28:07,600 Aha! 527 00:28:10,680 --> 00:28:12,880 - What is it? - What you got? 528 00:28:15,760 --> 00:28:16,880 Ford Mustang.