1 00:00:02,960 --> 00:00:05,640 METAL DETECTOR BEEPS 2 00:00:12,000 --> 00:00:14,040 Found anything? 3 00:00:14,040 --> 00:00:16,960 Not sure. It's a good signal though. 4 00:00:48,960 --> 00:00:50,120 What you got? 5 00:00:53,640 --> 00:00:54,760 Nothing. 6 00:01:05,120 --> 00:01:09,160 # Will you search through the lonely Earth for me? 7 00:01:09,160 --> 00:01:13,760 # Climb through the briar and brambles? 8 00:01:13,760 --> 00:01:17,720 # I'll be your treasure 9 00:01:19,040 --> 00:01:21,480 # I'm waiting for you 10 00:01:23,360 --> 00:01:26,200 # I'm waiting for you. # 11 00:01:26,200 --> 00:01:30,560 Oh, this is hopeless. I'm not getting anything. 12 00:01:30,560 --> 00:01:32,600 We don't even know if we're in the right field. 13 00:01:32,600 --> 00:01:34,320 Patience, grasshopper. 14 00:01:34,320 --> 00:01:35,880 If only Bishop could remember 15 00:01:35,880 --> 00:01:38,520 - roughly where they ploughed up the gold. - Mate... 16 00:01:39,760 --> 00:01:40,800 What? 17 00:01:41,840 --> 00:01:43,040 Keep it down. 18 00:01:43,040 --> 00:01:45,640 What, you think the Antiquisearchers have bugged the field? 19 00:01:45,640 --> 00:01:47,600 Well, I wouldn't put it past them. 20 00:01:47,600 --> 00:01:50,400 - Various gold artefacts were ploughed up... - What are you doing? 21 00:01:50,400 --> 00:01:52,480 ..on this farm several decades ago 22 00:01:52,480 --> 00:01:56,000 and we think it's the site of an important Saxon ship burial! 23 00:01:56,000 --> 00:01:57,600 What are you doing, idiot? 24 00:01:57,600 --> 00:01:59,760 Mate, there's no-one within a mile and a half. 25 00:02:01,200 --> 00:02:05,960 Oh, something, anything, just to let us know we're on the right track. 26 00:02:08,840 --> 00:02:12,080 METAL DETECTOR BEEPING 27 00:02:12,080 --> 00:02:13,120 What you got? 28 00:02:16,160 --> 00:02:17,800 20p. 29 00:02:17,800 --> 00:02:19,080 Don't knock it, mate. 30 00:02:31,000 --> 00:02:32,040 Cheers. 31 00:02:40,520 --> 00:02:42,760 - Oh, cheers. - That didn't go down at all well. 32 00:02:51,920 --> 00:02:53,760 Thought you were a vegetarian? 33 00:02:53,760 --> 00:02:54,840 I am. 34 00:02:54,840 --> 00:02:57,560 What you doing eating pork scratchings then? 35 00:02:57,560 --> 00:03:00,440 - They're just crisps. They're just pork flavour. - No, they're not. 36 00:03:01,680 --> 00:03:03,600 - They're pig skin. - Shut up. 37 00:03:03,600 --> 00:03:07,920 Pork scratchings are fried pig skin, mate. Look at the ingredients. 38 00:03:07,920 --> 00:03:10,160 They can't sell packets of fried pig skin. 39 00:03:10,160 --> 00:03:11,880 Shit! 40 00:03:11,880 --> 00:03:14,680 - How long's this been going on? - It's always been so. 41 00:03:14,680 --> 00:03:15,960 Nobody ever told me. 42 00:03:17,760 --> 00:03:20,040 So you still up for the open mic on Thursday? 43 00:03:20,040 --> 00:03:22,040 I'm up for it if you are. 44 00:03:22,040 --> 00:03:24,000 Yeah. I think so. 45 00:03:24,000 --> 00:03:26,040 How you getting on with playing and standing up? 46 00:03:26,040 --> 00:03:29,840 Not happening, mate. I'm thinking about making it my gimmick. 47 00:03:29,840 --> 00:03:31,360 What do you mean? 48 00:03:31,360 --> 00:03:33,080 Well, Sandy Shaw performed barefoot, 49 00:03:33,080 --> 00:03:35,440 Nick Drake performed with his back to the audience, 50 00:03:35,440 --> 00:03:36,880 I can perform cross-legged. 51 00:03:38,040 --> 00:03:40,840 - Sounds a bit pretentious. - No, it's not pretentious, is it? 52 00:03:40,840 --> 00:03:44,040 It's not an affectation because I can't actually do it standing up. 53 00:03:47,720 --> 00:03:49,280 What are they doing here? 54 00:03:49,280 --> 00:03:50,520 This isn't their pub. 55 00:03:52,680 --> 00:03:54,040 Afternoon, ladies. 56 00:03:54,040 --> 00:03:55,800 - Infantile. - Are you? 57 00:03:55,800 --> 00:03:57,800 I'm not playing that game. 58 00:03:57,800 --> 00:03:59,760 You're brave coming here. 59 00:03:59,760 --> 00:04:04,720 We hear some interesting artefacts were found on Bishop's farm. 60 00:04:04,720 --> 00:04:07,480 - Don't know what you're talking about. - Oh, I think you do. 61 00:04:07,480 --> 00:04:08,920 We haven't found anything, 62 00:04:08,920 --> 00:04:12,160 unless you consider drinks cans and barbed wire interesting. 63 00:04:12,160 --> 00:04:15,280 I wouldn't expect you two personally to have found anything. 64 00:04:17,640 --> 00:04:22,880 I'm referring to various items of a possible historical interest 65 00:04:22,880 --> 00:04:25,000 that were shown to you by farmer Bishop. 66 00:04:26,920 --> 00:04:29,040 Nope, sorry, you've lost us. 67 00:04:29,040 --> 00:04:31,200 Whether or not you found the items, 68 00:04:31,200 --> 00:04:33,720 you have a responsibility to report anything 69 00:04:33,720 --> 00:04:37,200 that could be considered treasure trove to the district coroner. 70 00:04:37,200 --> 00:04:38,800 No, we don't. 71 00:04:38,800 --> 00:04:41,520 Oh, so you do know what I'm talking about. 72 00:04:41,520 --> 00:04:43,080 No, we don't. 73 00:04:46,920 --> 00:04:50,000 You have 14 days to report the finds, 74 00:04:50,000 --> 00:04:54,280 otherwise I shall alert the relevant authorities myself. 75 00:04:54,280 --> 00:04:56,600 Actually, 12 days now. 76 00:04:56,600 --> 00:04:59,000 - Christ, he can speak. - Is he allowed to talk? 77 00:04:59,000 --> 00:05:02,280 You're in trouble now, mate. You wait till he gets you home. 78 00:05:02,280 --> 00:05:05,360 Come along, Paul. These amateurs are beneath us. 79 00:05:05,360 --> 00:05:07,360 Oh, you'd like that, wouldn't you? 80 00:05:10,240 --> 00:05:13,040 Always have to have the last word, don't you? Hmm? 81 00:05:17,040 --> 00:05:18,080 No. 82 00:05:22,600 --> 00:05:24,120 His name actually is Paul. 83 00:05:25,360 --> 00:05:28,160 How did they find out? Bishop must have told them. 84 00:05:28,160 --> 00:05:30,960 Maybe you're right, maybe they bugged the field. 85 00:05:30,960 --> 00:05:32,280 What we going to do? 86 00:05:32,280 --> 00:05:36,040 That site's too important to lose. We have to defend it. 87 00:05:38,000 --> 00:05:40,600 We have to get the full might of the DMDC on our side. 88 00:05:40,600 --> 00:05:42,520 - All seven of them. - Exactly. 89 00:05:42,520 --> 00:05:44,400 Blitz the place. 90 00:05:44,400 --> 00:05:46,880 Let's go and talk to Terry, mobilise the troops. 91 00:05:51,320 --> 00:05:54,720 TWINKLY MUSIC 92 00:06:05,440 --> 00:06:06,640 Somebody's coming. 93 00:06:07,960 --> 00:06:09,240 What's that, love? 94 00:06:11,640 --> 00:06:13,600 Somebody's coming. 95 00:06:13,600 --> 00:06:14,800 Who? 96 00:06:14,800 --> 00:06:18,160 Two. One short, one thin. 97 00:06:18,160 --> 00:06:19,320 Righto. 98 00:06:20,680 --> 00:06:23,000 - DOORBELL - Oh, they're here. 99 00:06:33,200 --> 00:06:34,680 Evening, Terence. 100 00:06:34,680 --> 00:06:37,240 Hello, Lance. Hello, Andy. What can I do you for? 101 00:06:41,800 --> 00:06:44,320 - Oh, it's you. Hello. - Oh, hello, Sheila. - Hello, Sheila. 102 00:06:45,440 --> 00:06:48,080 - Would you like some lemonade? - Oh, no, thanks, Sheila. 103 00:06:49,760 --> 00:06:51,640 It's fresh. 104 00:06:51,640 --> 00:06:53,800 I'll have some, Sheila, thank you. 105 00:06:53,800 --> 00:06:55,600 Oh, go on, then, yeah. That'll be nice. 106 00:06:55,600 --> 00:06:57,200 Yes, please, darling. Lovely. 107 00:07:02,400 --> 00:07:04,080 New acquisition, Terry? 108 00:07:04,080 --> 00:07:06,840 Oh, no. No, just reordering. 109 00:07:06,840 --> 00:07:10,360 I thought I'd try them in denomination rather than date order. 110 00:07:10,360 --> 00:07:11,520 Oh, interesting. 111 00:07:11,520 --> 00:07:14,520 Obviously ordered chronologically within a denomination. 112 00:07:14,520 --> 00:07:15,720 Obviously. 113 00:07:18,160 --> 00:07:20,920 THEY CHUCKLE 114 00:07:20,920 --> 00:07:23,920 So...to what do I owe the honour? 115 00:07:23,920 --> 00:07:25,120 It's Bishop's farm. 116 00:07:25,120 --> 00:07:27,240 Is he standing in your way? He is, isn't he? 117 00:07:27,240 --> 00:07:28,840 Well, it's hardly surprising. 118 00:07:28,840 --> 00:07:31,320 I mean, if I had buried my wife in a shallow grave, 119 00:07:31,320 --> 00:07:33,600 the last people I'd be inviting onto my property 120 00:07:33,600 --> 00:07:35,000 would be men with spades. 121 00:07:35,000 --> 00:07:36,560 No, no, we've got the permission. 122 00:07:36,560 --> 00:07:39,360 - Really? - Yeah, he was delighted. Pretty much giving us free rein. 123 00:07:39,360 --> 00:07:41,800 It's what he's told us about the place. 124 00:07:41,800 --> 00:07:45,760 - What's he told you? - Well, there's already been a dig at the farm, 125 00:07:45,760 --> 00:07:48,200 but it was years ago, before the war. 126 00:07:48,200 --> 00:07:50,400 Dug a couple of trenches and then never returned. 127 00:07:50,400 --> 00:07:54,520 But then he showed us some things that had been ploughed up. 128 00:07:54,520 --> 00:07:56,040 What sort of things? 129 00:07:56,040 --> 00:08:00,680 Well...important things. Beautiful things. 130 00:08:00,680 --> 00:08:02,360 Gold and garnets. 131 00:08:03,840 --> 00:08:06,960 - Go on. - The other lot are sniffing around. - Antiquisearchers. 132 00:08:06,960 --> 00:08:08,360 Are they? 133 00:08:08,360 --> 00:08:10,640 - They've got wind of it, have they? - Apparently so. 134 00:08:10,640 --> 00:08:14,200 So we need the club, the full weight of the club, behind us. 135 00:08:14,200 --> 00:08:16,600 - All seven of us. - What's he like, Bishop? 136 00:08:16,600 --> 00:08:19,280 - Mad as a frog, just like you said. - And has he mentioned the wife? 137 00:08:19,280 --> 00:08:22,760 He's mentioned her to me but he was in some sort of trance. 138 00:08:22,760 --> 00:08:24,320 What's he up to? 139 00:08:24,320 --> 00:08:25,440 He's up to something. 140 00:08:26,600 --> 00:08:29,600 And he's definitely given you permission to search the land? 141 00:08:29,600 --> 00:08:30,680 All except one field. 142 00:08:32,040 --> 00:08:34,440 Well, that's where she is. 143 00:08:34,440 --> 00:08:35,520 We need to get up there. 144 00:08:35,520 --> 00:08:37,520 Need to get over there soon, no time to lose. 145 00:08:37,520 --> 00:08:39,920 - When then? - I can't tomorrow, I've got an essay to write. 146 00:08:39,920 --> 00:08:41,800 - Well, I'm busy the day after. - Wednesday? 147 00:08:41,800 --> 00:08:43,760 - We need to rehearse for the gig. - You have a gig? 148 00:08:43,760 --> 00:08:45,840 Open mic, White Horse. You should come. 149 00:08:45,840 --> 00:08:48,160 - Sounds good. Thursday? - That's the day of the gig. 150 00:08:48,160 --> 00:08:50,560 - Can't do Thursday then. The day after? - Perfect. 151 00:08:50,560 --> 00:08:52,720 All right, it's set. 152 00:08:52,720 --> 00:08:54,360 Oh, thanks, love. 153 00:08:54,360 --> 00:08:56,400 - Thanks, Sheila. - I thank you. 154 00:08:58,040 --> 00:08:59,840 The DMDC. 155 00:08:59,840 --> 00:09:00,920 - DMDC. - DMDC. 156 00:09:09,600 --> 00:09:12,160 Wow. That's lemony. 157 00:09:12,160 --> 00:09:14,720 Gosh, it really is, isn't it? 158 00:09:14,720 --> 00:09:17,120 Well done, love. It's delicious. 159 00:09:43,160 --> 00:09:44,240 Hello? 160 00:09:45,160 --> 00:09:48,600 Hello. Mags, it's me, Lance. 161 00:09:48,600 --> 00:09:50,720 Oh, hello, love. Won't be a second. 162 00:09:52,880 --> 00:09:54,440 Hello, love. You all right? 163 00:09:54,440 --> 00:09:55,600 Yeah, good, you? 164 00:09:55,600 --> 00:09:58,840 Yeah, good, I was... I was just out the back. 165 00:09:58,840 --> 00:10:00,880 I brought you this back. 166 00:10:00,880 --> 00:10:02,920 - Oh, is that mine? - Yeah, it's your favourite. 167 00:10:04,040 --> 00:10:06,040 Oh, yeah. Thanks, love. 168 00:10:07,240 --> 00:10:09,920 - So are you still on for tomorrow? - What's tomorrow? 169 00:10:09,920 --> 00:10:12,920 - Music night, White Horse. - Yeah? Who's playing? 170 00:10:12,920 --> 00:10:14,920 I am. I told you. 171 00:10:14,920 --> 00:10:17,480 - Me and Andy are doing one of my songs. - Oh, yeah, you said. 172 00:10:18,640 --> 00:10:22,000 Oh, I thought that was next Thursday. Is that this Thursday? 173 00:10:22,000 --> 00:10:24,200 Yeah, it's tomorrow. You said you could come. 174 00:10:24,200 --> 00:10:25,960 I'll have to see what Tony's doing. 175 00:10:25,960 --> 00:10:28,320 Oh, forget... Don't worry about Tony. 176 00:10:28,320 --> 00:10:30,640 I mean, if he can't make it, you should come on your own. 177 00:10:30,640 --> 00:10:33,200 All right, I'll see what Tony's doing. What time's it start? 178 00:10:33,200 --> 00:10:35,840 7:30 start, I think, but I'll text you. 179 00:10:35,840 --> 00:10:38,520 Who was it, Maggie? Said we should have closed up. 180 00:10:41,440 --> 00:10:43,360 - Oh, hello, Lance. - Tony. 181 00:10:43,360 --> 00:10:46,120 Lance just invited us to a music night tomorrow night. 182 00:10:46,120 --> 00:10:48,920 - We're not doing anything, are we? - I told you about it last week. 183 00:10:48,920 --> 00:10:51,360 - Don't think so, sounds good. - Great. 184 00:10:51,360 --> 00:10:53,640 We better carry on with our thing, Maggie. 185 00:10:54,880 --> 00:10:56,960 Moving those boxes. 186 00:10:56,960 --> 00:10:58,720 Just coming. 187 00:10:58,720 --> 00:11:01,120 Oh, Lance, could you just flip the closed sign over 188 00:11:01,120 --> 00:11:02,320 on your way out, please? 189 00:11:02,320 --> 00:11:05,440 - Yeah, OK. I'll see you tomorrow night. - What's tomorrow night? 190 00:11:05,440 --> 00:11:07,120 The White Horse. 191 00:11:07,120 --> 00:11:09,360 Oh, yeah, yeah. I'll see you there. 192 00:11:10,720 --> 00:11:12,000 See you, Lance. 193 00:11:21,200 --> 00:11:25,640 # You were my new age girl 194 00:11:25,640 --> 00:11:28,920 # You're the shine of the pearl You're the light of the fair 195 00:11:28,920 --> 00:11:31,960 # You're the tilt-a-whirl... 196 00:11:33,000 --> 00:11:34,960 # Tilt-a-whirl.... # 197 00:11:34,960 --> 00:11:36,000 Oh, no. 198 00:11:37,000 --> 00:11:38,880 Tilt-a! 199 00:11:38,880 --> 00:11:41,360 - Whirl. - What is a tilt-a-whirl? 200 00:11:41,360 --> 00:11:44,360 - It's a fairground ride. Like a waltzer. - Right. 201 00:11:49,120 --> 00:11:51,400 Come on, mate. I think it's sounding good. 202 00:11:51,400 --> 00:11:53,240 I don't even think this was a good idea. 203 00:11:53,240 --> 00:11:56,760 Hey, I'm looking forward to it. 204 00:11:56,760 --> 00:11:57,840 So is Becky. 205 00:12:00,640 --> 00:12:03,480 Don't come. I don't want you to come. 206 00:12:03,480 --> 00:12:07,120 OK. And explain to me why I shouldn't be offended by that. 207 00:12:07,120 --> 00:12:09,840 It's going to be awful. I want to spare you the pain. 208 00:12:09,840 --> 00:12:12,080 - Oh, dear. - And it will cause you pain. 209 00:12:13,080 --> 00:12:15,160 You were so adamant. 210 00:12:15,160 --> 00:12:18,160 I've set the class an easy homework so I can have the night off marking. 211 00:12:18,160 --> 00:12:21,160 I bought you this as a way of saying please, don't come. 212 00:12:21,160 --> 00:12:23,080 Oh. 213 00:12:23,080 --> 00:12:24,200 Cheers. 214 00:12:24,200 --> 00:12:26,680 Honestly, it's going to be dreadful. You'll go off me. 215 00:12:26,680 --> 00:12:29,480 You'll see me up there on stage and you'll think, "What a prick. 216 00:12:29,480 --> 00:12:30,720 "What am I doing with him?" 217 00:12:30,720 --> 00:12:33,000 You're making it sound better and better. 218 00:12:33,000 --> 00:12:35,440 This is a spectacle I don't want to miss. 219 00:12:35,440 --> 00:12:36,760 (Please.) 220 00:12:38,400 --> 00:12:41,200 Will you give me a private performance another time? 221 00:12:41,200 --> 00:12:43,320 Absolutely. Naked, if you want. 222 00:12:43,320 --> 00:12:46,400 - No, clothed is fine. - Just not in front of a crowd. 223 00:12:46,400 --> 00:12:47,960 You're expecting a crowd? 224 00:12:47,960 --> 00:12:51,560 - Oh, God, yeah. At least a crowd, probably more. - Oh. 225 00:12:51,560 --> 00:12:53,520 HE MOANS 226 00:12:57,160 --> 00:12:58,320 Becks coming? 227 00:12:58,320 --> 00:13:04,000 No, she... No, she really wanted to, but she's got marking to do. 228 00:13:04,000 --> 00:13:06,440 So, yeah, it's a shame. 229 00:13:25,080 --> 00:13:27,120 How about Maggie? 230 00:13:27,120 --> 00:13:29,080 - Eh? - Maggie? 231 00:13:29,080 --> 00:13:31,720 - What about her? - Did you invite her? 232 00:13:31,720 --> 00:13:33,560 Can't remember. May have done. 233 00:13:34,640 --> 00:13:36,400 Who you looking for? 234 00:13:36,400 --> 00:13:37,800 Just seeing who's here. 235 00:13:39,960 --> 00:13:41,880 You haven't met Tony, have you? 236 00:13:41,880 --> 00:13:43,600 - Maggie's new bloke? - Don't think so. 237 00:13:43,600 --> 00:13:46,000 - Massive knob. - Has he? 238 00:13:46,000 --> 00:13:48,400 No, he is one. Not he's got one. 239 00:13:48,400 --> 00:13:51,080 I've got no idea how big his knob is. 240 00:13:51,080 --> 00:13:53,200 - I imagine it's probably tiny. - Probably. 241 00:13:55,680 --> 00:13:57,560 No, she'll turn up, and if she doesn't, 242 00:13:57,560 --> 00:13:59,560 it'll just be a nice, low-profile thing, 243 00:13:59,560 --> 00:14:01,280 practice run for the stadium tour. 244 00:14:03,680 --> 00:14:05,520 I may have put it on Facebook. 245 00:14:05,520 --> 00:14:07,400 Oh, balls, when? 246 00:14:07,400 --> 00:14:10,000 - Other night when I was feeling confident. - Nice. 247 00:14:11,880 --> 00:14:12,920 - Shit. - What? 248 00:14:13,960 --> 00:14:16,280 - Simon and Garfunkel. - More of them. 249 00:14:17,560 --> 00:14:19,920 Is this pub an Antiquisearchers stronghold? 250 00:14:19,920 --> 00:14:21,440 I don't know, where do they meet? 251 00:14:21,440 --> 00:14:22,880 WI on a Thursday. 252 00:14:24,000 --> 00:14:25,280 Bollocks. 253 00:14:25,280 --> 00:14:27,200 Oh, well. What are they going to do? 254 00:14:30,040 --> 00:14:32,000 Spotted. 255 00:14:32,000 --> 00:14:34,120 Right, that's settled, we're not doing the song. 256 00:14:34,120 --> 00:14:36,000 Deal. We'll get a drink. 257 00:14:36,000 --> 00:14:38,840 - Otherwise they've won. What are you having? - Pint, please. 258 00:14:48,000 --> 00:14:50,360 - Hiya. - Oh, hi, Sophe. 259 00:14:50,360 --> 00:14:52,880 - Andy, hello. - Who are you saying hello to? 260 00:14:52,880 --> 00:14:54,360 You, who do you think? 261 00:14:54,360 --> 00:14:57,120 Oh. You got Lance's message then? 262 00:14:57,120 --> 00:14:58,200 What message? 263 00:14:58,200 --> 00:14:59,760 On Facebook. 264 00:14:59,760 --> 00:15:01,680 Oh, yeah, yeah, thought I'd come down. 265 00:15:01,680 --> 00:15:05,120 Cool, I don't actually know if we're going to be doing it after all. 266 00:15:05,120 --> 00:15:06,520 - What? - The song. 267 00:15:07,600 --> 00:15:08,920 Oh, really? Why not? 268 00:15:08,920 --> 00:15:11,880 Turns out this place is an Antiquisearchers bastion. 269 00:15:11,880 --> 00:15:15,040 They're all around. A wretched hive of scum and villainy. 270 00:15:16,520 --> 00:15:17,680 We must be cautious. 271 00:15:18,680 --> 00:15:19,760 What are you drinking? 272 00:15:19,760 --> 00:15:22,320 - A pint, please. Where are you sitting? - Down there. 273 00:15:33,440 --> 00:15:35,320 Oh, blimey. Hello, everyone. 274 00:15:36,720 --> 00:15:38,320 I did put it on Facebook. 275 00:15:38,320 --> 00:15:39,720 Oh, that's blown it. 276 00:15:39,720 --> 00:15:41,840 I guess we're doing the song after all. 277 00:15:41,840 --> 00:15:45,240 - We're looking forward to it, aren't we, love? - Yes. - What's it called? 278 00:15:45,240 --> 00:15:47,480 Er... Wait and see. 279 00:15:47,480 --> 00:15:51,720 Is it a sad song? I love sad songs. 280 00:15:51,720 --> 00:15:53,600 Is it, Lance? 281 00:15:53,600 --> 00:15:54,920 Is it a sad song? 282 00:15:54,920 --> 00:15:56,200 No, not especially. 283 00:15:57,920 --> 00:16:00,080 Is it about your ex-wife? 284 00:16:00,080 --> 00:16:01,680 No, why'd you say that? 285 00:16:01,680 --> 00:16:03,640 Because of the way you keep going on about her. 286 00:16:03,640 --> 00:16:05,640 - I do not. - Is she coming tonight? 287 00:16:05,640 --> 00:16:07,360 I don't know. Does anyone want a drink? 288 00:16:07,360 --> 00:16:09,920 I'll get them. Pint? 289 00:16:09,920 --> 00:16:11,880 Pint? Pintosh? 290 00:16:13,880 --> 00:16:16,000 Coke? 291 00:16:16,000 --> 00:16:17,800 Sheila, what are you having? 292 00:16:17,800 --> 00:16:18,840 Pina Colada. 293 00:16:20,880 --> 00:16:23,040 I'm not sure they'll have that at the White Horse. 294 00:16:23,040 --> 00:16:24,720 I'll check. But if they don't? 295 00:16:24,720 --> 00:16:26,480 - Snowball. - Snowball, got it. 296 00:17:07,400 --> 00:17:14,120 Cheers, everybody who have come here to folk it up at the White Horse. 297 00:17:14,120 --> 00:17:17,240 First up, Johnny Piper. 298 00:17:17,240 --> 00:17:20,120 APPLAUSE 299 00:17:24,440 --> 00:17:25,560 Hey. 300 00:17:36,520 --> 00:17:41,440 # Would you search the lonely Earth for me? 301 00:17:41,440 --> 00:17:44,240 # Climb through the briar and bramble? 302 00:17:46,080 --> 00:17:49,640 # I'll be your treasure 303 00:17:56,400 --> 00:18:00,880 # I felt the touch of the kings and the breath of the wind 304 00:18:00,880 --> 00:18:03,600 # I knew the call of all the songbirds 305 00:18:03,600 --> 00:18:06,200 # They sang all the wrong words 306 00:18:09,280 --> 00:18:13,920 # I'm waiting for you 307 00:18:13,920 --> 00:18:17,280 # I'm waiting for you... # 308 00:18:41,040 --> 00:18:43,200 APPLAUSE 309 00:18:43,200 --> 00:18:45,440 Is she here? I can't see her. 310 00:18:47,080 --> 00:18:49,080 Thank you, Johnny, lovely stuff, 311 00:18:49,080 --> 00:18:52,200 and moving right along, 312 00:18:52,200 --> 00:18:55,440 please welcome Lance Stater and Andy Stone. 313 00:18:55,440 --> 00:18:57,680 DMDC CHEERING 314 00:19:30,600 --> 00:19:31,760 This is New Age Girl. 315 00:19:47,960 --> 00:19:51,440 # Back when the sky was clear and blue 316 00:19:54,760 --> 00:19:57,840 # I met a girl who looked like you 317 00:20:01,480 --> 00:20:06,040 # But when she opened her arms I fell clean through 318 00:20:08,120 --> 00:20:11,320 # And now I don't know what to do 319 00:20:13,240 --> 00:20:18,080 # Because you were my new age girl 320 00:20:18,080 --> 00:20:22,320 # You're the shine in the pearl You're the lights of the fair 321 00:20:22,320 --> 00:20:24,600 # You're the tilt-a-whirl 322 00:20:26,760 --> 00:20:30,320 # And when I fell, I paid the price 323 00:20:33,680 --> 00:20:38,520 # You found a man who took a slice of your love 324 00:20:40,160 --> 00:20:44,880 # He erected a circle of stones around your heart 325 00:20:46,680 --> 00:20:52,440 # And like a tear and share he tore us apart 326 00:20:52,440 --> 00:20:57,560 # Because you were my new age girl 327 00:20:57,560 --> 00:20:59,560 # You're the shine in the pearl 328 00:20:59,560 --> 00:21:04,560 # You're the lights of the fair You're the tilt-a-whirl 329 00:21:04,560 --> 00:21:08,160 # You're the sun, you're the moon 330 00:21:08,160 --> 00:21:12,880 # You're the light in the room 331 00:21:12,880 --> 00:21:16,120 # You were my new age girl. # 332 00:21:19,680 --> 00:21:21,960 APPLAUSE AND CHEERING 333 00:21:27,560 --> 00:21:29,080 - Double whisky? - Yes, please. 334 00:21:34,000 --> 00:21:36,480 Right, you'll have to take a ten minute break 335 00:21:36,480 --> 00:21:38,360 while the next act parks the van. 336 00:21:42,040 --> 00:21:43,240 That was good. 337 00:21:43,240 --> 00:21:45,120 - Shut up. - It was. 338 00:21:45,120 --> 00:21:47,280 Well, it was better than I thought it was going to be 339 00:21:47,280 --> 00:21:49,920 - but that's not really saying very much. - I liked it. 340 00:21:49,920 --> 00:21:52,280 Why was Lance on a toadstool? Has he got piles? 341 00:21:52,280 --> 00:21:54,680 No, he can't play unless he's sitting cross-legged. 342 00:21:54,680 --> 00:21:55,840 Seriously? 343 00:21:56,880 --> 00:21:58,000 That is brilliant. 344 00:22:02,080 --> 00:22:03,640 Hello? 345 00:22:03,640 --> 00:22:05,680 Hello. 346 00:22:05,680 --> 00:22:06,840 Hi. 347 00:22:06,840 --> 00:22:08,800 - You came down? - Yup. 348 00:22:08,800 --> 00:22:11,200 I was bored and that wine you bought was a bit shit. 349 00:22:12,280 --> 00:22:13,560 This is Sophie. 350 00:22:13,560 --> 00:22:15,120 Hello, Sophie. 351 00:22:15,120 --> 00:22:16,720 - Sophie, this is... - Becky. 352 00:22:16,720 --> 00:22:18,360 Becky. This is Becky. 353 00:22:19,440 --> 00:22:20,720 Hi, Becky. 354 00:22:24,240 --> 00:22:26,280 Well, this is nice. 355 00:22:26,280 --> 00:22:28,440 Sit down, I'll get you a drink. What are you having? 356 00:22:28,440 --> 00:22:31,520 - Just an orange juice, thanks. - Great. Really? Sit down. 357 00:22:31,520 --> 00:22:32,640 I'll get it. 358 00:22:41,400 --> 00:22:43,080 - Maggie didn't turn up. - Becky's here. 359 00:22:45,480 --> 00:22:48,280 Oh, yeah. Hello, Becks. You all right? 360 00:22:48,280 --> 00:22:52,720 Yeah, good thanks, Lance. Second thoughts, I'm going to head off. 361 00:22:52,720 --> 00:22:55,920 - Oh, OK, I'll see you at home. - Yeah. 362 00:22:55,920 --> 00:22:57,680 - Bye, Lance. - Cheers. 363 00:23:14,320 --> 00:23:15,360 She was nice. 364 00:23:16,360 --> 00:23:17,880 Oh, shit. 365 00:23:23,280 --> 00:23:24,320 Becks! 366 00:23:26,680 --> 00:23:28,440 Becks! 367 00:23:28,440 --> 00:23:30,440 - Who the hell is she? - Just someone from the club. 368 00:23:30,440 --> 00:23:32,600 Just someone from the club who you hold hands with? 369 00:23:32,600 --> 00:23:33,920 We weren't holding hands. 370 00:23:33,920 --> 00:23:36,520 She was holding my hand for moral support. 371 00:23:36,520 --> 00:23:38,400 - How old is she? - I don't know. 372 00:23:38,400 --> 00:23:40,040 - Yes, you do. - 23. 373 00:23:40,040 --> 00:23:41,320 Brilliant. 374 00:23:41,320 --> 00:23:42,840 - Thanks. - There's nothing going on. 375 00:23:42,840 --> 00:23:45,480 - Really? Then why didn't you want me to come tonight? - I told you. 376 00:23:45,480 --> 00:23:48,800 - Because I thought it was going to be crap. - And was it? 377 00:23:48,800 --> 00:23:50,760 Actually it was OK, we were quite pleased. 378 00:23:53,080 --> 00:23:56,760 You're pathetic. You're having a pathetic, little midlife crisis. 379 00:23:56,760 --> 00:23:58,400 Go on, leave me for a younger woman 380 00:23:58,400 --> 00:24:01,640 and get a pair of leather trousers and a motorbike while you're at it. 381 00:24:11,640 --> 00:24:13,200 What would you get? 382 00:24:13,200 --> 00:24:15,160 A Triumph Bonneville, probably. 383 00:24:15,160 --> 00:24:16,800 Or a Kawasaki. 384 00:24:16,800 --> 00:24:18,320 She calm down eventually? 385 00:24:18,320 --> 00:24:20,280 Sort of. 386 00:24:20,280 --> 00:24:22,080 You spoken to Maggie? 387 00:24:22,080 --> 00:24:23,440 Yeah. 388 00:24:23,440 --> 00:24:24,600 Why didn't she come? 389 00:24:25,760 --> 00:24:28,760 She had no recollection of me ever mentioning it. 390 00:24:28,760 --> 00:24:30,120 Oh, well. 391 00:24:30,120 --> 00:24:31,600 Here he is. 392 00:24:31,600 --> 00:24:32,720 Hello, Terry. 393 00:24:32,720 --> 00:24:36,400 Hello, chaps. Sorry, I'm a bit late. Flamenco class. 394 00:24:37,640 --> 00:24:38,840 Has to be done. 395 00:24:38,840 --> 00:24:41,520 So here we are. Bishop's farm. 396 00:24:42,880 --> 00:24:44,640 Thought I'd never see the day. 397 00:24:44,640 --> 00:24:45,760 Anyone else coming? 398 00:24:45,760 --> 00:24:48,640 No, no, no. There's plenty of time to get them involved later on. 399 00:24:48,640 --> 00:24:50,680 I thought we could do a bit ourselves, you know. 400 00:24:50,680 --> 00:24:52,280 - Have a bit of a recce. - Really? 401 00:24:53,800 --> 00:24:55,560 Is he around? 402 00:24:55,560 --> 00:24:58,000 - Bishop? I haven't seen him. - Oh. 403 00:24:58,000 --> 00:25:00,120 And which is the field he told you to stay out of? 404 00:25:00,120 --> 00:25:02,000 The paddock on the Birchwood Road. 405 00:25:02,000 --> 00:25:03,640 Told us not to go digging down there. 406 00:25:03,640 --> 00:25:05,720 Right, that's where we want to start then. 407 00:25:05,720 --> 00:25:07,800 Really? We sort of gave him our word. 408 00:25:11,360 --> 00:25:15,680 What is under there that he doesn't want people digging up, eh? 409 00:25:15,680 --> 00:25:17,800 That is where she is. 410 00:25:17,800 --> 00:25:21,360 If he comes along, challenges me, I'll just plead ignorance. 411 00:25:21,360 --> 00:25:22,480 Here. 412 00:25:24,680 --> 00:25:26,240 You let me know if you find anything. 413 00:25:26,240 --> 00:25:29,440 - Press that button to speak, let it go to listen. - Will do. 414 00:25:29,440 --> 00:25:32,400 And always say "over" at the end of a transmission. 415 00:25:32,400 --> 00:25:34,200 - Copy that. - Ten four. 416 00:25:38,920 --> 00:25:40,960 He's on a different mission. 417 00:25:40,960 --> 00:25:43,960 Thinks he's back on the force, the glory days. 418 00:25:43,960 --> 00:25:47,560 Wants to find Mrs Bishop. Crack a cold case. 419 00:25:47,560 --> 00:25:48,680 Over. 420 00:26:35,320 --> 00:26:38,440 So he's got five 421 00:26:38,440 --> 00:26:42,240 on the life and works of PG Wodehouse. 422 00:26:42,240 --> 00:26:44,680 Onto the general knowledge round. 423 00:26:44,680 --> 00:26:46,520 First question - 424 00:26:46,520 --> 00:26:51,560 What flightless bird is an unofficial symbol of New Zealand? 425 00:26:51,560 --> 00:26:57,200 Matey answers kangaroo. I mean, where do I start? 426 00:26:57,200 --> 00:26:59,360 - Don't have to. - No, I shouldn't have to. 427 00:27:04,480 --> 00:27:06,800 They're not biting. Shall we call it a day? 428 00:27:06,800 --> 00:27:07,920 Suppose. 429 00:27:12,920 --> 00:27:15,200 Come in, Terry, over. 430 00:27:15,200 --> 00:27:16,920 Go ahead, over. 431 00:27:16,920 --> 00:27:18,600 We're thinking of calling it a day. 432 00:27:28,080 --> 00:27:29,120 Over. 433 00:27:30,280 --> 00:27:35,000 Right you are. I've got a target here, it's quite big and quite deep. 434 00:27:35,000 --> 00:27:37,320 It's probably a pipe or a gate post, 435 00:27:37,320 --> 00:27:40,160 but I'm going to throw down a sondage and check it out anyway. 436 00:27:40,160 --> 00:27:41,480 Over. 437 00:27:41,480 --> 00:27:43,840 Well, we'll give it about ten minutes 438 00:27:43,840 --> 00:27:45,880 then we'll head down to that pub on the corner? 439 00:27:46,960 --> 00:27:48,200 Over. 440 00:27:48,200 --> 00:27:50,240 See you in there. Over and out. 441 00:28:02,280 --> 00:28:03,760 EXPLOSION 442 00:28:09,680 --> 00:28:10,800 Shit.