1 00:00:02,000 --> 00:00:05,840 This programme contains some strong language. 2 00:00:08,800 --> 00:00:11,600 Did you hear about old Bob Cromer? 3 00:00:11,600 --> 00:00:14,000 - What about him? - Exhumed, mate. 4 00:00:14,000 --> 00:00:16,960 - What? - Grave robbed. 5 00:00:16,960 --> 00:00:18,480 By who?! 6 00:00:18,480 --> 00:00:21,120 Nobody knows. Night hawks. 7 00:00:22,480 --> 00:00:26,160 Rumour has it he was buried with some of his best finds. 8 00:00:26,160 --> 00:00:30,360 James I guinea, medieval posy ring, that Viking torc. 9 00:00:32,440 --> 00:00:34,960 They came in the night and dug him up. 10 00:00:34,960 --> 00:00:36,440 Unbelievable. 11 00:00:36,440 --> 00:00:39,520 - The things some people'll do for gold. - Yeah. 12 00:00:45,760 --> 00:00:47,280 Poor old Bob. 13 00:00:47,280 --> 00:00:50,280 Bet he never thought he'd end up on that end of a detector. 14 00:00:59,360 --> 00:01:04,480 # Will you search through the lonely earth for me? 15 00:01:04,480 --> 00:01:09,160 # Climb through the briar and bramble 16 00:01:09,160 --> 00:01:14,160 # I'll be your treasure 17 00:01:14,160 --> 00:01:18,760 # I'm waiting for you 18 00:01:18,760 --> 00:01:22,040 # I'm waiting for you... # 19 00:01:28,040 --> 00:01:31,000 BIRDSONG 20 00:01:34,000 --> 00:01:35,640 No... 21 00:01:35,640 --> 00:01:38,880 The idea of what is considered beautiful 22 00:01:38,880 --> 00:01:40,200 changes through time. 23 00:01:41,400 --> 00:01:43,200 Like... 24 00:01:43,200 --> 00:01:46,120 Well, back in the Tudor period, 25 00:01:46,120 --> 00:01:49,440 you might've been considered really attractive. 26 00:01:49,440 --> 00:01:53,720 You know, scrawny, a bit of beard and the hair. 27 00:01:55,160 --> 00:01:56,840 Stick a ruff around your neck, 28 00:01:56,840 --> 00:01:59,160 you could've been one of Lizzie I's favourites. 29 00:01:59,160 --> 00:02:01,320 Right, and how far back in time would you have to go 30 00:02:01,320 --> 00:02:03,720 before YOU were considered attractive? 31 00:02:03,720 --> 00:02:05,960 Oh, no, no, no, I... 32 00:02:05,960 --> 00:02:07,960 My time is right around the corner. 33 00:02:09,880 --> 00:02:12,440 Within the next couple of years, I reckon. 34 00:02:16,960 --> 00:02:19,760 METAL DETECTOR BEEPS 35 00:02:25,000 --> 00:02:27,160 I'm going to call it a day and head into town. 36 00:02:27,160 --> 00:02:28,880 I said I'd drop by the library. 37 00:02:28,880 --> 00:02:31,440 Sophie's meeting Peter to research that plane crash. 38 00:02:31,440 --> 00:02:33,760 I can't get into it. 39 00:02:33,760 --> 00:02:35,960 It's not old enough. 40 00:02:35,960 --> 00:02:38,760 If it hasn't been forgotten, I'm not interested. 41 00:02:40,360 --> 00:02:43,520 - I'm on a different quest. - Oh, yeah. What's that, then? 42 00:02:43,520 --> 00:02:44,880 Oh, I dunno. 43 00:02:46,240 --> 00:02:49,840 My heart has followed all my days something I cannot name. 44 00:02:51,360 --> 00:02:53,320 Blimey. 45 00:02:53,320 --> 00:02:57,040 Yeah, I won't be able to rest until I've danced the gold dance. 46 00:02:57,040 --> 00:02:58,560 You're not coming, then? 47 00:02:58,560 --> 00:03:01,480 - No, got plans. - Oh, yeah, what you doin'? 48 00:03:03,120 --> 00:03:07,000 Um? Oh, er, I gotta pop into Screwfix. 49 00:03:09,920 --> 00:03:10,960 What you got? 50 00:03:12,160 --> 00:03:14,000 Boat. 51 00:03:14,000 --> 00:03:15,760 - What, a boat? - Hmm? 52 00:03:15,760 --> 00:03:18,640 No, B-O-A-T - Bit Off A Tractor. 53 00:03:18,640 --> 00:03:19,920 HE SNORTS 54 00:03:22,440 --> 00:03:24,200 What, haven't you heard that one? 55 00:03:24,200 --> 00:03:26,120 Course I haven't. You just made it up. 56 00:03:26,120 --> 00:03:29,000 Oh, it's an old one, that is, like POACH. 57 00:03:30,960 --> 00:03:32,080 Go on. 58 00:03:32,080 --> 00:03:34,200 Part Of A Combine Harvester? 59 00:03:34,200 --> 00:03:35,480 Bullshit. 60 00:03:45,720 --> 00:03:46,920 - Hi. - Hello. 61 00:03:46,920 --> 00:03:49,200 - How are you? - Good. 62 00:03:49,200 --> 00:03:51,960 Um, listen, thank you for helping me out with this. 63 00:03:51,960 --> 00:03:53,400 It's all right. 64 00:03:53,400 --> 00:03:56,600 - I'm a sucker for a bit of research. - You're a what? 65 00:03:56,600 --> 00:03:59,080 - Doesn't matter. - THEY LAUGH 66 00:03:59,080 --> 00:04:03,520 - Are any of the others coming down? - I don't think so. - That's good. - Yeah? 67 00:04:03,520 --> 00:04:07,440 - Yeah, they were all so enthusiastic, especially the main guy. - Terry. 68 00:04:07,440 --> 00:04:10,360 - I'm worried they'll be disappointed. - How come? 69 00:04:10,360 --> 00:04:12,240 Well, even if we find the crash site, 70 00:04:12,240 --> 00:04:14,960 - I don't think there'll be much left of the plane. - Oh. 71 00:04:14,960 --> 00:04:18,800 We're used to not finding very much at the DMDC, that's what we do best. 72 00:04:18,800 --> 00:04:20,080 HE LAUGHS 73 00:04:21,080 --> 00:04:23,000 MUSIC POUNDS INSIDE 74 00:04:23,000 --> 00:04:26,040 DAVID ESSEX: # Flying high 75 00:04:26,040 --> 00:04:30,840 # I've got a lot of love inside 76 00:04:30,840 --> 00:04:34,840 # Is there love enough now to get me through? 77 00:04:34,840 --> 00:04:40,560 # Yeah, I know now where I'm going to 78 00:04:40,560 --> 00:04:44,400 # Not to lose now, but to win 79 00:04:44,400 --> 00:04:49,200 # Tell me, how do I begin? 80 00:04:51,160 --> 00:04:53,960 # I've a dream 81 00:04:53,960 --> 00:04:57,800 # Silver dream machine... # 82 00:05:03,120 --> 00:05:04,160 Me? 83 00:05:05,800 --> 00:05:06,960 I'm in fruit and veg. 84 00:05:09,640 --> 00:05:11,760 I'm in fruit and vegetables. 85 00:05:13,000 --> 00:05:18,280 Did you know...90% of onions are consumed in their country of origin? 86 00:05:18,280 --> 00:05:19,560 Hmm. 87 00:05:21,000 --> 00:05:24,640 There's hardly any international trade in onions. 88 00:05:24,640 --> 00:05:26,600 What, this old thing? 89 00:05:26,600 --> 00:05:27,880 HE LAUGHS 90 00:05:27,880 --> 00:05:30,720 Oh, thank you. Well, I've had it for years. 91 00:05:33,720 --> 00:05:35,280 Do I drive? 92 00:05:35,280 --> 00:05:37,080 Well, you, er... 93 00:05:37,080 --> 00:05:41,120 You might have seen that yellow car parked up outside? The, er...? 94 00:05:42,560 --> 00:05:44,400 Yes. 95 00:05:44,400 --> 00:05:46,240 TR7. 96 00:05:46,240 --> 00:05:48,600 Do you know about them? 97 00:05:48,600 --> 00:05:52,280 Well, I've, er, I've actually done quite a lot of work on her. 98 00:05:52,280 --> 00:05:54,080 Re-sprayed her Aztec Yellow, 99 00:05:54,080 --> 00:05:56,360 whereas the original would've been... 100 00:05:57,640 --> 00:05:59,360 That's right. 101 00:05:59,360 --> 00:06:00,800 ..Mimosa Yellow. 102 00:06:02,480 --> 00:06:03,520 And you, er...? 103 00:06:05,400 --> 00:06:06,560 Do you have a car? 104 00:06:08,520 --> 00:06:09,560 Really? 105 00:06:11,520 --> 00:06:13,360 What, the one in, er... 106 00:06:13,360 --> 00:06:14,920 Back To The Future? 107 00:06:17,200 --> 00:06:19,040 I've given myself a year off. 108 00:06:19,040 --> 00:06:21,960 I was fed up with my job, so I jacked it in 109 00:06:21,960 --> 00:06:23,840 and I'm travelling for a year. 110 00:06:23,840 --> 00:06:26,480 I wrote a list of things I want to achieve in this year 111 00:06:26,480 --> 00:06:29,680 and one of those things was to find my grandfather's resting place 112 00:06:29,680 --> 00:06:32,960 - and lay a wreath. - That's really nice. 113 00:06:32,960 --> 00:06:35,080 I've been wanting to for a long time. 114 00:06:35,080 --> 00:06:37,560 This year is the year for getting things done. 115 00:06:37,560 --> 00:06:41,120 So what else is on your list? Don't say bungee jumping. 116 00:06:41,120 --> 00:06:43,320 - Catch a big fish. - OK. 117 00:06:43,320 --> 00:06:45,000 Fall in love. 118 00:06:45,000 --> 00:06:48,400 - Wait, isn't that on everybody's list all of the time? - Is it? 119 00:06:48,400 --> 00:06:51,400 I don't know. Wasn't on mine for a long time. 120 00:06:51,400 --> 00:06:52,800 But I'm ready now. 121 00:06:52,800 --> 00:06:55,560 I'm going to make a concerted effort. 122 00:06:55,560 --> 00:06:58,200 Right, yeah, cos that's usually how it happens(!) 123 00:06:58,200 --> 00:07:01,440 - Yeah? - Yeah, sure! I mean, you decide to fall in love, 124 00:07:01,440 --> 00:07:04,320 you try really hard and then you fall in love(!) 125 00:07:04,320 --> 00:07:08,720 - You're being sarcastic. - Yeah! - Well done, very clever. - Thank you! 126 00:07:08,720 --> 00:07:10,000 HE LAUGHS 127 00:07:10,000 --> 00:07:13,720 So what qualities are you looking for in your new love? 128 00:07:13,720 --> 00:07:15,240 - Sarcasm. - Hmm! 129 00:07:17,600 --> 00:07:20,880 As discussed, the summer fair is going to be Dickens-themed 130 00:07:20,880 --> 00:07:24,840 and I'd like all attending staff in Victorian dress, if you would. 131 00:07:24,840 --> 00:07:27,720 Um, this costume hire company has a nice range. 132 00:07:27,720 --> 00:07:29,960 Expensive, but worth it. 133 00:07:29,960 --> 00:07:31,800 As I'm sure you're all aware, last year, 134 00:07:31,800 --> 00:07:36,040 Oakfield Lane Primary School raised 5,000 at their annual fete 135 00:07:36,040 --> 00:07:39,720 and I'm determined we're going to beat that. 136 00:07:39,720 --> 00:07:43,080 Um...could I ask you all 137 00:07:43,080 --> 00:07:45,680 not to double park outside the front of the school? 138 00:07:45,680 --> 00:07:48,920 Mr Dale had to get to Asda yesterday and he couldn't get out. 139 00:07:48,920 --> 00:07:50,920 Well, where are we supposed to go, then?! 140 00:07:50,920 --> 00:07:55,040 I'm having to park further and further away and walk the rest. 141 00:07:55,040 --> 00:07:57,760 You only live a mile away, Janet. 142 00:07:57,760 --> 00:07:59,200 Exactly! 143 00:07:59,200 --> 00:08:01,960 It's hardly worth me driving in at all. 144 00:08:01,960 --> 00:08:04,520 We need to sort out some more parking spaces. 145 00:08:22,400 --> 00:08:23,840 Hi. 146 00:08:23,840 --> 00:08:25,240 Hey, Lance. 147 00:08:25,240 --> 00:08:28,320 - It's Andy. - Oh, yeah, Lance is the other guy. 148 00:08:28,320 --> 00:08:32,640 - Funny little guy. - Funny little guy? - Yeah, you know. 149 00:08:32,640 --> 00:08:34,280 HE LAUGHS Hmm. 150 00:08:34,280 --> 00:08:36,560 - How's it going? - Good, good. 151 00:08:36,560 --> 00:08:39,760 We found a newspaper article and Sophie's gone to get coffee. 152 00:08:39,760 --> 00:08:41,720 - Oh, great. Can I see? - Yeah. 153 00:08:43,440 --> 00:08:46,240 This is from the morning after the crash, there's no photo 154 00:08:46,240 --> 00:08:49,560 and they just said it was near Henbury - nothing more specific. 155 00:08:49,560 --> 00:08:52,880 But it does say that the plane came straight down nose-first 156 00:08:52,880 --> 00:08:55,400 and pretty much buried itself in the ground. 157 00:08:55,400 --> 00:08:58,640 - And does it mention the crew? - Um... 158 00:08:58,640 --> 00:09:00,640 No, I don't think so. 159 00:09:00,640 --> 00:09:03,400 Right, well, I found a list of their names online. 160 00:09:03,400 --> 00:09:05,600 It doesn't say what happened to them, but it does say 161 00:09:05,600 --> 00:09:08,160 that they're all accounted for, which I don't understand. 162 00:09:08,160 --> 00:09:10,440 - Which was your grandfather? - Let me see. 163 00:09:12,160 --> 00:09:15,200 Yeah, here - Reinfrit Schneider. 164 00:09:15,200 --> 00:09:16,840 Forward gunner. 165 00:09:16,840 --> 00:09:17,880 Right. 166 00:09:19,720 --> 00:09:21,080 Here's Sophie. 167 00:09:21,080 --> 00:09:24,640 Andy! I thought you said you might not be able to make it? 168 00:09:24,640 --> 00:09:26,480 Yeah, but I managed to. 169 00:09:28,000 --> 00:09:29,040 Great. 170 00:09:30,680 --> 00:09:32,280 Can I...? 171 00:09:32,280 --> 00:09:33,320 Yeah, yeah. 172 00:09:36,200 --> 00:09:37,760 So... 173 00:09:37,760 --> 00:09:39,600 Peter showed me the article. 174 00:09:39,600 --> 00:09:43,240 Yeah. I'm hopin' other papers might have photographs of the crash site, 175 00:09:43,240 --> 00:09:45,080 - so we should carry on looking. - Yeah. 176 00:09:47,360 --> 00:09:50,560 - It's quite a lot to go through, actually. - Right. 177 00:09:53,400 --> 00:09:55,960 Shall we just crack on with that, then, or did you want to...? 178 00:09:57,440 --> 00:10:01,400 Oh, no, yeah, I'll... I'll let you crack on with that. 179 00:10:01,400 --> 00:10:03,640 I've got some shopping to do, so.... 180 00:10:05,960 --> 00:10:08,080 - See you later. - Yep, see ya. 181 00:10:08,080 --> 00:10:10,520 - Cheers. - Cheers, Lance. 182 00:10:10,520 --> 00:10:11,760 It's Andy. 183 00:10:12,920 --> 00:10:13,960 Andy. 184 00:10:17,280 --> 00:10:20,240 The residents of Whitehall Lodge are complaining that the parents 185 00:10:20,240 --> 00:10:22,880 are parking their cars in the residents-only parking bays. 186 00:10:22,880 --> 00:10:26,320 We must make sure that the parents know they're not allowed to do that. 187 00:10:26,320 --> 00:10:30,160 Similarly, parents are parking on the yellow zigzag lines 188 00:10:30,160 --> 00:10:32,520 in front of the school and we must make sure they know 189 00:10:32,520 --> 00:10:36,240 they can't do that, even if they're just dropping off. 190 00:10:36,240 --> 00:10:39,440 SHE SIGHS: Er, any other business? 191 00:10:39,440 --> 00:10:44,200 - Frances? - Are we allowed to park on Meadow View Road? 192 00:10:44,200 --> 00:10:47,720 It's just it doesn't say anywhere it's residents-only. 193 00:10:47,720 --> 00:10:51,200 But they're claiming the same parking restrictions stretch around 194 00:10:51,200 --> 00:10:56,520 from Church Road, even though there aren't any, um...signs. 195 00:10:56,520 --> 00:10:58,480 - JANET: - Well, if there aren't any signs, 196 00:10:58,480 --> 00:11:01,720 - it means there aren't any parking restrictions! - Right. 197 00:11:03,240 --> 00:11:06,000 - So can I park there? - No! 198 00:11:06,000 --> 00:11:07,360 Becky? 199 00:11:08,480 --> 00:11:10,600 Sorry, I have to go. 200 00:11:14,280 --> 00:11:16,320 MOBILE PHONE RINGS 201 00:11:18,280 --> 00:11:19,680 Hey. 202 00:11:19,680 --> 00:11:22,600 I've just walked out of a stupid staff meeting! 203 00:11:22,600 --> 00:11:25,160 Cos they're all a bunch of small-minded idiots, who can only 204 00:11:25,160 --> 00:11:28,000 talk about how bloody difficult it is to park their fucking cars! 205 00:11:28,000 --> 00:11:31,000 Bloody hell, you sound furious. Are you all right? 206 00:11:31,000 --> 00:11:32,960 Hang on, hang on a second, Becks. 207 00:11:43,280 --> 00:11:46,560 - SHE SIGHS: - It made me realise, Andy, I really need to get out of here. 208 00:11:46,560 --> 00:11:49,040 I want to talk to you some more about this VSO thing. 209 00:11:49,040 --> 00:11:50,920 'I think we should do it, the three of us. 210 00:11:50,920 --> 00:11:54,080 'You should hear Martin talking about it - it sounds wonderful.' 211 00:11:55,680 --> 00:11:57,240 'Andy? 212 00:11:57,240 --> 00:11:59,400 'Andy?' 213 00:11:59,400 --> 00:12:03,400 Sorry, I got distracted. I'll see you at home. 214 00:12:03,400 --> 00:12:04,920 SHE SIGHS DEEPLY 215 00:12:04,920 --> 00:12:08,840 MEXICAN MUSIC PLAYS, SOFT CHATTER 216 00:12:11,080 --> 00:12:13,120 MOBILE PHONE VIBRATES 217 00:12:15,240 --> 00:12:17,200 - Er, I'd better take this. - Mm-hmm. 218 00:12:19,720 --> 00:12:20,960 Hello? 219 00:12:20,960 --> 00:12:22,840 All right, it's me. Where are you? 220 00:12:22,840 --> 00:12:24,560 Oh... 221 00:12:24,560 --> 00:12:27,280 I told you - Screwfix. 222 00:12:27,280 --> 00:12:29,400 Oh, yeah. I forgot. 223 00:12:29,400 --> 00:12:31,600 Have they got a mariachi band playing? 224 00:12:31,600 --> 00:12:34,160 - MEXICAN MUSIC CONTINUES - Oh, yeah, I know... 225 00:12:34,160 --> 00:12:36,800 They're having a Mexican afternoon. 226 00:12:38,040 --> 00:12:39,840 Er, no, I just... 227 00:12:39,840 --> 00:12:43,880 I forgot to ask whether you're going to the club. 228 00:12:43,880 --> 00:12:45,160 All right. 229 00:12:45,160 --> 00:12:46,680 I'll see you there. 230 00:12:46,680 --> 00:12:49,840 Oh, can you get me some masonry nails? 231 00:12:49,840 --> 00:12:51,520 Galvanised. 232 00:12:51,520 --> 00:12:54,560 Yeah, OK. Mmm. 233 00:12:54,560 --> 00:12:57,160 I better go - they're bringing out the pinata. 234 00:12:59,960 --> 00:13:01,280 Adios. 235 00:13:22,440 --> 00:13:24,520 Hello? 236 00:13:24,520 --> 00:13:26,200 I'm in here. 237 00:13:27,360 --> 00:13:28,640 All right, sweary! 238 00:13:30,040 --> 00:13:31,440 Was I swearing a lot? 239 00:13:31,440 --> 00:13:33,640 Yeah, an unnecessary amount, I'd say. 240 00:13:33,640 --> 00:13:36,920 Oh, God! I was just about to break! 241 00:13:36,920 --> 00:13:40,440 I'd had all that I could take of their petty parking problems 242 00:13:40,440 --> 00:13:42,560 and their fete, for goodness' sake! 243 00:13:42,560 --> 00:13:43,840 Are you rapping? 244 00:13:43,840 --> 00:13:45,480 No, I think it was just a fluke. 245 00:13:45,480 --> 00:13:46,720 Say something else. 246 00:13:46,720 --> 00:13:48,200 I want a change, Andy! 247 00:13:48,200 --> 00:13:49,680 I want to get out of that school 248 00:13:49,680 --> 00:13:52,080 and try something else, go somewhere else. 249 00:13:52,080 --> 00:13:55,240 - No, none of that really rhymed. - I wasn't trying to rhyme. 250 00:13:55,240 --> 00:13:57,000 Oh, sorry, what were you saying? 251 00:13:57,000 --> 00:13:58,720 - Doesn't matter. - BABY FUSSES 252 00:13:58,720 --> 00:14:02,280 They can't fire you, can they, for storming out of a staff meeting? 253 00:14:02,280 --> 00:14:04,320 I didn't storm, I just left. 254 00:14:04,320 --> 00:14:07,080 We'd really be up shit creek if you lost your job. 255 00:14:08,320 --> 00:14:10,880 - I want to show you this. - Don't hand in your notice just yet. 256 00:14:11,920 --> 00:14:13,680 Oh, you'll never guess what I saw. 257 00:14:13,680 --> 00:14:16,640 Looks like Lance has taken our advice to try internet dating. 258 00:14:16,640 --> 00:14:18,200 I saw him holding hands with a girl, 259 00:14:18,200 --> 00:14:20,240 when he said he was going to the DIY shop. 260 00:14:20,240 --> 00:14:21,960 Yeah, nobody we know? 261 00:14:21,960 --> 00:14:24,960 - No, really young, much younger than him. - How young? 262 00:14:24,960 --> 00:14:26,760 Twenties. 263 00:14:26,760 --> 00:14:29,360 They were in a cafe. He didn't see me. 264 00:14:29,360 --> 00:14:31,880 And they were...holding hands? 265 00:14:31,880 --> 00:14:34,480 Well, yeah, touching hands, flirting. 266 00:14:34,480 --> 00:14:36,200 He was adamant he wasn't going to try it, 267 00:14:36,200 --> 00:14:38,480 but I don't know how else he could've met her so fast. 268 00:14:38,480 --> 00:14:40,400 Why don't you just ask him? 269 00:14:40,400 --> 00:14:42,120 Nah, he can tell me when he's ready. 270 00:14:43,120 --> 00:14:45,280 What's that? What's that? 271 00:14:45,280 --> 00:14:47,000 That's a denarius. 272 00:14:47,000 --> 00:14:50,440 Can you say "silver denarius of Marcus Aurelius"? 273 00:14:52,720 --> 00:14:53,840 Nah. 274 00:14:56,680 --> 00:14:59,960 Here it is. It seems it came down so straight and so fast 275 00:14:59,960 --> 00:15:02,200 that the hole sort of filled itself in afterwards. 276 00:15:02,200 --> 00:15:04,480 Always fill in your holes. 277 00:15:04,480 --> 00:15:06,600 Bad taste, Russell. 278 00:15:06,600 --> 00:15:08,080 It was so deep, they just left it. 279 00:15:08,080 --> 00:15:09,880 It looks like it's never been disturbed. 280 00:15:09,880 --> 00:15:11,640 And look - this tower. 281 00:15:11,640 --> 00:15:13,000 Yeah, that's St Giles. 282 00:15:13,000 --> 00:15:15,120 I can see this tower from where I park my camper. 283 00:15:15,120 --> 00:15:16,960 Well, that's where we should start. 284 00:15:16,960 --> 00:15:19,080 Can you tell where this photo was taken from? 285 00:15:19,080 --> 00:15:20,520 It's hard to tell. 286 00:15:20,520 --> 00:15:22,440 Yeah, you can only see the top of the church. 287 00:15:22,440 --> 00:15:25,120 We should get down there and have a look. 288 00:15:25,120 --> 00:15:27,560 Listen, Terry, um... if we find the site, 289 00:15:27,560 --> 00:15:32,000 I'll need to apply for a licence of Ministry of Defence to dig it. 290 00:15:32,000 --> 00:15:35,000 I was wondering if the DMDC could do that on my behalf? 291 00:15:35,000 --> 00:15:37,040 It might look better coming from a club. 292 00:15:37,040 --> 00:15:38,880 No problem at all, mate. 293 00:15:38,880 --> 00:15:40,720 And here's an idea. 294 00:15:40,720 --> 00:15:42,840 What if, when we locate the wreckage, 295 00:15:42,840 --> 00:15:45,800 we have the annual rally on the site, eh? 296 00:15:45,800 --> 00:15:49,400 Get everyone down, more the merrier, barbecue - make a day of it! 297 00:15:49,400 --> 00:15:52,320 - Can I keep some of the wreckage? - Well, I don't know about that, Hugh. 298 00:15:52,320 --> 00:15:53,760 I'll bring a wheelbarrow. 299 00:15:53,760 --> 00:15:57,160 Hang on a second, guys, this is not what I had in mind, um... 300 00:15:57,160 --> 00:15:59,120 I want to find the site, pay my respects, 301 00:15:59,120 --> 00:16:02,520 - I don't necessarily want lots of people there. - We'll cordon it off. 302 00:16:02,520 --> 00:16:05,120 DOOR SQUEAKS OPEN 303 00:16:06,640 --> 00:16:08,360 Hello? 304 00:16:08,360 --> 00:16:09,600 Mr Mayor? 305 00:16:12,360 --> 00:16:14,760 Er, could I have a word, Terry? 306 00:16:14,760 --> 00:16:16,280 Certainly, Mr Mayor. 307 00:16:17,440 --> 00:16:19,320 Well, this is an honour, sir. 308 00:16:19,320 --> 00:16:21,320 How may I be of assistance? 309 00:16:21,320 --> 00:16:23,200 Er... 310 00:16:23,200 --> 00:16:26,600 After a bit of a favour, actually, from you metal detectors. 311 00:16:26,600 --> 00:16:28,520 Detectorists. 312 00:16:28,520 --> 00:16:32,240 - Beg your pardon? - Doesn't matter. - Ah. Um, damnedest thing - 313 00:16:32,240 --> 00:16:35,360 I...seem to have mislaid my ceremonial chain of office 314 00:16:35,360 --> 00:16:37,600 and I thought maybe you could find it for me. 315 00:16:37,600 --> 00:16:41,800 Absolutely, no problem at all, sir. I'll get a team on it straight away. 316 00:16:41,800 --> 00:16:45,000 - Russell? - No, no, no, no need to. Silly to involve him... 317 00:16:45,000 --> 00:16:48,640 Russell runs our new jewellery retrieval service. 318 00:16:48,640 --> 00:16:51,480 - The mayor here has lost his chain of office. - His what? 319 00:16:51,480 --> 00:16:53,840 It's a ceremonial chain. You know, it shouldn't be 320 00:16:53,840 --> 00:16:56,520 too difficult to find - big chunky thing. 321 00:16:56,520 --> 00:17:00,040 - I'll get Hugh. - No, no, no, no need to... - Hugh! 322 00:17:00,040 --> 00:17:02,440 The mayor's lost his necklace. 323 00:17:02,440 --> 00:17:05,680 Hugh runs the jewellery retrieval service with Russell. 324 00:17:05,680 --> 00:17:07,360 They've had a lot of success. 325 00:17:07,360 --> 00:17:10,640 - Had quite a few stories in the local paper, you may have seen them. - No. 326 00:17:10,640 --> 00:17:13,160 - I have a scrapbook, if you want to see it? - No. 327 00:17:13,160 --> 00:17:15,040 - Oh. - Thank you. 328 00:17:15,040 --> 00:17:18,520 I don't want to make a big fuss. Silly to involve too many people. 329 00:17:18,520 --> 00:17:19,960 So where did you say you lost it? 330 00:17:19,960 --> 00:17:23,640 Ah, somewhere in the long grass, or in the bushes, 331 00:17:23,640 --> 00:17:26,680 up near the car park by Barnfather Woods. 332 00:17:28,640 --> 00:17:31,080 The car park near Barnfather Woods? 333 00:17:31,080 --> 00:17:34,360 Yes, you know, the one up...up...there. 334 00:17:34,360 --> 00:17:36,400 The place where all the cars go after dark? 335 00:17:36,400 --> 00:17:39,080 I have no idea what happens there after dark. 336 00:17:39,080 --> 00:17:43,400 I was, er, walking my dog and, er, it got caught on a branch and, er, 337 00:17:43,400 --> 00:17:45,920 pinged off into the undergrowth. 338 00:17:45,920 --> 00:17:47,960 Right, well, we'd better get up there, then. 339 00:17:47,960 --> 00:17:51,400 - In the bushes, on the left-hand side of the car park. - OK. - Yeah. 340 00:17:51,400 --> 00:17:52,560 As soon as you can. 341 00:17:54,920 --> 00:17:57,040 Um, if we do manage to find it... 342 00:17:58,440 --> 00:18:02,000 - Yes? - All right to call the local papers down? 343 00:18:02,000 --> 00:18:03,840 - Take a photo? - For the scrapbook. 344 00:18:03,840 --> 00:18:05,600 No. No. 345 00:18:05,600 --> 00:18:09,320 You see, because, um... Cos that wouldn't do at all. 346 00:18:09,320 --> 00:18:14,040 I...I was going to make an anonymous donation to the club if you found it 347 00:18:14,040 --> 00:18:18,240 and I don't like to boast about my charity work, 348 00:18:18,240 --> 00:18:23,920 so any publicity might prevent me from making such...a donation. 349 00:18:23,920 --> 00:18:25,440 Do you see? 350 00:18:25,440 --> 00:18:27,400 Yes, I think so. 351 00:18:27,400 --> 00:18:28,840 Fantastic. 352 00:18:29,880 --> 00:18:30,920 There we are. 353 00:18:42,680 --> 00:18:44,800 BIRDSONG 354 00:18:52,520 --> 00:18:56,320 You ever thought about what kind of dance you'd do if you found gold? 355 00:18:56,320 --> 00:18:59,520 Oh, no. It's bad luck to practise beforehand. 356 00:18:59,520 --> 00:19:01,400 It has to be spontaneous. 357 00:19:01,400 --> 00:19:03,000 Yep. 358 00:19:03,000 --> 00:19:06,040 Yeah, I've...I've no idea what'll come out on the day, 359 00:19:06,040 --> 00:19:09,400 - but I imagine it'll be exuberant. - Not too exuberant, though. 360 00:19:09,400 --> 00:19:12,120 - Remember what happened to Derek Hoof. - Oh, yeah. 361 00:19:12,120 --> 00:19:15,120 - Dislocated a hip. - It wasn't even gold in the end, was it? 362 00:19:15,120 --> 00:19:17,000 - Milk bottle top. - Embarrassing. 363 00:19:34,800 --> 00:19:37,440 - Hi. - Mornin'. - Wotcha. - All right? 364 00:19:37,440 --> 00:19:39,120 Ooh! 365 00:19:39,120 --> 00:19:41,920 Ooh, so...this is it? 366 00:19:41,920 --> 00:19:44,280 The famous metal detector? 367 00:19:44,280 --> 00:19:46,240 It's the CTX, yeah. 368 00:19:46,240 --> 00:19:48,160 She's one of the first in the country. 369 00:19:48,160 --> 00:19:51,200 I've souped her up a bit. Fitted her with a larger coil. 370 00:19:51,200 --> 00:19:54,920 - I might give her another coat of wax midway through the season. - Oh. 371 00:19:54,920 --> 00:19:55,960 How does it work? 372 00:19:56,960 --> 00:20:00,280 - What's the on button? - Well, no, I don't really like to switch her on 373 00:20:00,280 --> 00:20:02,960 so close to the car, overhead power cables. 374 00:20:02,960 --> 00:20:04,840 - It might overload... - Look at me! - BEEPING 375 00:20:04,840 --> 00:20:07,520 - I'm going to find some treasure. - You won't find anything here! 376 00:20:07,520 --> 00:20:10,880 - You haven't got it on the right... No! - Hey! - You haven't got it on... 377 00:20:10,880 --> 00:20:12,920 It made some noise, guys, I found something. 378 00:20:12,920 --> 00:20:16,120 It's on the wrong setting. It'll be a drinks can, so close to the road! 379 00:20:16,120 --> 00:20:19,360 - It's just going to be modern litter. - Give me a spade. This is great! 380 00:20:19,360 --> 00:20:21,880 - Come on, you don't want to dig it up now. - What's the reading? 381 00:20:21,880 --> 00:20:23,800 - BEEPING - 35, is that good? 382 00:20:25,120 --> 00:20:28,800 - No, it's iffy, you know, it doesn't mean anything. - 35? 383 00:20:28,800 --> 00:20:30,640 - Give me the spade. - Well... 384 00:20:30,640 --> 00:20:34,480 Well, dig it up, if you like, but you're wasting your time. 385 00:20:39,600 --> 00:20:43,240 - I tell you what, maybe we should... - No way, man, this is my treasure. 386 00:20:52,520 --> 00:20:53,760 Coke can. 387 00:20:53,760 --> 00:20:55,200 - Told you, didn't I? - Yeah, you did. 388 00:20:55,200 --> 00:20:57,360 - I said it was a drinks can, didn't I? - Unbelievable. 389 00:20:57,360 --> 00:20:58,840 And you didn't listen. 390 00:20:58,840 --> 00:21:00,640 - Unbelievable. - Ridiculous. 391 00:21:00,640 --> 00:21:03,760 - It's always the virgins. - Yeah. - It's always the same. 392 00:21:03,760 --> 00:21:06,600 Ones who go out on a first time think they know best. 393 00:21:06,600 --> 00:21:09,040 - Would he listen? - What was it? A drinks can! 394 00:21:09,040 --> 00:21:11,720 - It was only ever going to be junk. - Ha! 395 00:21:11,720 --> 00:21:13,800 Is it true what Sophie's told me - 396 00:21:13,800 --> 00:21:16,920 - that Terry got blown up by a bomb last year? - Afraid so. 397 00:21:16,920 --> 00:21:19,800 - Threw him 40 foot in the air, he reckons. - I'd have never believed 398 00:21:19,800 --> 00:21:23,000 the world of metal detecting was so full of danger and peril. 399 00:21:23,000 --> 00:21:26,560 - Believe it, baby. - Extreme sport. - Fast and furious. 400 00:21:26,560 --> 00:21:31,040 Speaking of which, hold on to your hats, ladies and gents, 401 00:21:31,040 --> 00:21:33,440 there's a Saxon round tower and church. 402 00:21:35,000 --> 00:21:36,240 Boom. 403 00:21:42,000 --> 00:21:43,240 Not much to go on. 404 00:21:43,240 --> 00:21:46,520 We can walk in a big circle around it and look out for features. 405 00:21:46,520 --> 00:21:47,800 Yeah, all right. 406 00:21:47,800 --> 00:21:49,600 Call if you find anything. 407 00:21:49,600 --> 00:21:52,400 Oh...OK. 408 00:21:52,400 --> 00:21:56,960 Well, this is our permission anyway, so wanna do a couple of hours? 409 00:21:56,960 --> 00:21:58,560 - Go on, then. - See you in a bit. 410 00:22:04,520 --> 00:22:06,040 I thought you were going to pass out 411 00:22:06,040 --> 00:22:07,480 when he grabbed your detector. 412 00:22:09,160 --> 00:22:11,760 Well, do you have a strum on Bob Dylan's guitar 413 00:22:11,760 --> 00:22:13,600 - without asking him? - No. 414 00:22:13,600 --> 00:22:15,240 No! 415 00:22:15,240 --> 00:22:17,200 A man's detector's like his... 416 00:22:17,200 --> 00:22:19,720 - His what? - Woman. - HE LAUGHS: Woman?! 417 00:22:21,280 --> 00:22:23,040 You know what I mean. 418 00:22:23,040 --> 00:22:26,120 - You don't touch another man's detector. - Or his woman. 419 00:22:27,800 --> 00:22:28,840 Exactly. 420 00:22:35,960 --> 00:22:40,400 - HE LAUGHS - Did you see the look on his face? 421 00:22:40,400 --> 00:22:42,240 I thought he was going to cry. 422 00:22:42,240 --> 00:22:45,200 - You shouldn't have taken his detector. - I couldn't help it. 423 00:22:45,200 --> 00:22:47,600 You don't mess with Lance's metal detectors. 424 00:22:47,600 --> 00:22:49,680 He's got more than one? 425 00:22:49,680 --> 00:22:52,680 Legend has it, he has a false bookcase that pulls back 426 00:22:52,680 --> 00:22:54,880 to reveal a secret cabinet full of them. 427 00:22:54,880 --> 00:22:57,520 - HE WHEEZES: - Yeah? - That's what they say. 428 00:22:57,520 --> 00:23:00,160 So weird! Why do you hang out with them? 429 00:23:00,160 --> 00:23:03,600 - They're not weird. - Yeah, they are! They're freaks! 430 00:23:03,600 --> 00:23:05,880 You're relatively normal compared to them. 431 00:23:05,880 --> 00:23:07,760 I like them. They're my friends. 432 00:23:24,440 --> 00:23:27,800 I'm not too keen on Terry's idea of holding the rally at the crash site. 433 00:23:29,160 --> 00:23:31,320 It's supposed to be a special moment. 434 00:23:31,320 --> 00:23:35,640 Oh, he means well. It's just, once he's got an idea in his head... 435 00:23:35,640 --> 00:23:39,520 Could you...speak with him, try to make him change his mind? 436 00:23:39,520 --> 00:23:41,400 I can try. 437 00:23:41,400 --> 00:23:42,440 Thanks. 438 00:23:47,400 --> 00:23:49,520 I didn't mean to insult your friends. 439 00:23:50,600 --> 00:23:52,440 You're forgiven. 440 00:23:52,440 --> 00:23:53,640 They ARE weird. 441 00:23:53,640 --> 00:23:55,520 - That's why I like them. - HE LAUGHS 442 00:23:59,960 --> 00:24:02,240 Oh...God! 443 00:24:05,640 --> 00:24:06,920 Who are they? 444 00:24:08,080 --> 00:24:10,600 - SHE SIGHS - They look like... 445 00:24:10,600 --> 00:24:12,600 Simon and Garfunkel. 446 00:24:15,160 --> 00:24:16,960 Opal Fruits. 447 00:24:16,960 --> 00:24:18,080 Yeah. 448 00:24:18,080 --> 00:24:19,320 TOFFOs? 449 00:24:19,320 --> 00:24:20,800 TOFFOs, good one. 450 00:24:24,680 --> 00:24:26,600 - Spangles? - Lazy! 451 00:24:26,600 --> 00:24:27,960 Yeah, sorry. 452 00:24:32,960 --> 00:24:36,640 So, Becky said she saw you with someone, in town. 453 00:24:36,640 --> 00:24:39,760 - Oh, yeah? Who? - I dunno, a woman. 454 00:24:40,880 --> 00:24:42,640 Hmm. 455 00:24:42,640 --> 00:24:43,880 When? 456 00:24:43,880 --> 00:24:45,600 Tuesday, I think, afternoon. 457 00:24:46,960 --> 00:24:49,200 I dunno, er... 458 00:24:49,200 --> 00:24:51,600 Maybe it's the old lady from downstairs. 459 00:24:51,600 --> 00:24:53,240 No, I think it was someone younger. 460 00:24:53,240 --> 00:24:55,480 Well, Mrs Morris looks young for her age. 461 00:24:55,480 --> 00:24:57,560 - Well, how old is she? - 93. 462 00:24:57,560 --> 00:24:59,200 Definitely someone younger. 463 00:24:59,200 --> 00:25:00,760 TEXT ALERT 464 00:25:03,320 --> 00:25:04,920 Message from Sophie. 465 00:25:04,920 --> 00:25:08,600 "S&G alert - heading your way." 466 00:25:08,600 --> 00:25:10,280 What's an S&G alert? 467 00:25:14,920 --> 00:25:16,280 Hello there! 468 00:25:17,480 --> 00:25:18,880 Old friends. 469 00:25:21,280 --> 00:25:22,320 Indeed. 470 00:25:24,000 --> 00:25:25,520 Been a long time, hasn't it? 471 00:25:25,520 --> 00:25:26,640 It has. 472 00:25:26,640 --> 00:25:28,800 A lot of water under the bridge. 473 00:25:28,800 --> 00:25:30,600 - Troubled water. - Pardon? 474 00:25:30,600 --> 00:25:33,800 Troubled water, that the bridge is over. 475 00:25:36,680 --> 00:25:39,240 We just bumped into Sophie and her boyfriend. 476 00:25:39,240 --> 00:25:41,920 - I don't think they're a couple. - Ooh, did I touch a nerve? 477 00:25:41,920 --> 00:25:43,520 No. 478 00:25:43,520 --> 00:25:46,000 They told us about the plane crash. 479 00:25:46,000 --> 00:25:48,280 - They told you? - He did, yeah. 480 00:25:48,280 --> 00:25:53,880 Plane crash, grandad. Mmm, very moving story. 481 00:25:53,880 --> 00:25:57,640 - What you getting at? - But is that the real reason, hmm? 482 00:25:57,640 --> 00:25:59,120 Or is there something else? 483 00:25:59,120 --> 00:26:01,960 Something you're hoping you might find? 484 00:26:01,960 --> 00:26:04,160 - The first one. - Really? - Really. 485 00:26:05,160 --> 00:26:08,040 You don't need metal detectors to lay a wreath. 486 00:26:08,040 --> 00:26:10,120 Oh, wise words. 487 00:26:10,120 --> 00:26:12,240 - HE LAUGHS: - Mm-hm! 488 00:26:12,240 --> 00:26:15,160 We wanted to see you, actually, to thank you. 489 00:26:15,160 --> 00:26:19,360 - We have formed a brand-new club. - Is that so? - Yes. 490 00:26:19,360 --> 00:26:21,760 You did us a big favour when you absorbed 491 00:26:21,760 --> 00:26:25,440 some of our less-committed members, allowed us to streamline. 492 00:26:25,440 --> 00:26:27,720 We are now a highly efficient unit 493 00:26:27,720 --> 00:26:30,680 comprising a dozen or so elite detectorists. 494 00:26:30,680 --> 00:26:33,360 - What you called? - The Dirt Sharks. 495 00:26:33,360 --> 00:26:36,040 - Ew! Really? - Yuck! 496 00:26:36,040 --> 00:26:38,760 And what's wrong with the Dirt Sharks? 497 00:26:38,760 --> 00:26:40,560 Sounds a bit, you know... 498 00:26:40,560 --> 00:26:41,800 Aggressive. 499 00:26:41,800 --> 00:26:43,120 Invasive. 500 00:26:43,120 --> 00:26:44,200 I don't think so. 501 00:26:44,200 --> 00:26:46,120 - Predatory. - Predatory, yes. 502 00:26:46,120 --> 00:26:48,880 Sharks are highly efficient hunters. 503 00:26:48,880 --> 00:26:52,960 And you, with your metal detectors, are like sharks swimming, 504 00:26:52,960 --> 00:26:55,600 not through water, but through dirt, 505 00:26:55,600 --> 00:26:57,840 and hunting for metal instead of food? 506 00:26:59,360 --> 00:27:00,640 Yeah, exactly. 507 00:27:01,800 --> 00:27:04,080 - Oh, yeah, that's good, that is. - Yeah, it works. 508 00:27:04,080 --> 00:27:05,960 - It's good. - Well done. - Yeah. 509 00:27:05,960 --> 00:27:09,120 So what, are you, er, looking to share our permissions, 510 00:27:09,120 --> 00:27:11,720 cos, um, you got two hopes of that - 511 00:27:11,720 --> 00:27:13,360 Bob and no. 512 00:27:13,360 --> 00:27:14,800 - HE SNORTS: - It's amazing! 513 00:27:14,800 --> 00:27:18,560 Why is it I understand so very little of what you say? 514 00:27:18,560 --> 00:27:20,520 Cos you're as thick as two short plonks. 515 00:27:20,520 --> 00:27:21,960 - Planks. - You're welcome. 516 00:27:25,440 --> 00:27:26,480 Come on, Paul. 517 00:27:28,400 --> 00:27:29,640 Don't. 518 00:27:31,240 --> 00:27:33,320 What a mallet! 519 00:27:33,320 --> 00:27:36,360 Why are they here? What do they think they know? 520 00:27:37,680 --> 00:27:39,520 Phone Sophie. 521 00:27:39,520 --> 00:27:43,280 Make sure Peter knows not to say anything else. 522 00:27:43,280 --> 00:27:45,160 Tell him to keep schtum. 523 00:27:45,160 --> 00:27:46,920 The sound of silence.