1 00:00:02,000 --> 00:00:04,120 - TV: - 'It was when he checked the hole again - 2 00:00:04,120 --> 00:00:07,560 'the metal detector gave another beep - that Kevin Beale's fortune 3 00:00:07,560 --> 00:00:10,080 'was about to change. 'Well, he's here with us now. 4 00:00:10,080 --> 00:00:12,600 'Um, Kevin what happened next? 5 00:00:12,600 --> 00:00:16,560 'Well, I dug down again and found a gold coin, Roman. 6 00:00:16,560 --> 00:00:19,040 - 'It was very exciting. - And it didn't end there, did it? 7 00:00:19,040 --> 00:00:20,560 'No, it didn't, Chris. 8 00:00:20,560 --> 00:00:23,000 'I checked the hole again and another beep, 9 00:00:23,000 --> 00:00:24,320 'another gold coin. 10 00:00:24,320 --> 00:00:27,360 'Fantastic. Well, I can tell you that, in fact, Kevin ended up 11 00:00:27,360 --> 00:00:31,520 'unearthing 350 silver and gold Roman coins 12 00:00:31,520 --> 00:00:34,160 'worth in the region of a million pounds. 13 00:00:34,160 --> 00:00:35,680 'What's happening to the money? 14 00:00:35,680 --> 00:00:39,480 'Oh. Well, the British Museum bought the coins, 15 00:00:39,480 --> 00:00:42,320 'and then I'm splitting it with myself and the land owner. 16 00:00:42,320 --> 00:00:44,840 'Now, am I right in thinking that you're very, very new 17 00:00:44,840 --> 00:00:47,240 'to this hobby of metal detecting? 18 00:00:47,240 --> 00:00:50,600 'Yes, indeed. Yes, it's actually only the second time I've been out. 19 00:00:50,600 --> 00:00:53,360 'I would imagine, after this, you're pretty hooked on it all. 20 00:00:53,360 --> 00:00:55,240 - 'Absolutely, yes. - 'Really got the bug. 21 00:00:55,240 --> 00:00:56,880 'Before you go, I must ask you this, 22 00:00:56,880 --> 00:01:00,440 'is it true that when metal detectors find gold, 23 00:01:00,440 --> 00:01:03,880 'they do a bit of a celebratory gold dance? 24 00:01:03,880 --> 00:01:05,640 'Yes. Yes, they do, yes. 25 00:01:05,640 --> 00:01:08,160 'It'd be great if we could see it. Can you do it? 26 00:01:08,160 --> 00:01:10,840 'I don't...I don't think so. 27 00:01:10,840 --> 00:01:13,200 'All right. OK, well, maybe another time. 28 00:01:13,200 --> 00:01:14,840 'Thank you very much, Kevin.' 29 00:01:14,840 --> 00:01:20,480 This programme contains some strong language. 30 00:01:20,480 --> 00:01:21,840 Fucking bastard. 31 00:01:29,920 --> 00:01:34,880 # Will you search through the lonely earth for me? 32 00:01:34,880 --> 00:01:39,000 # Climb through the briar and bramble? 33 00:01:39,000 --> 00:01:44,520 # I'll be your treasure 34 00:01:44,520 --> 00:01:48,640 # I'm waiting for you 35 00:01:48,640 --> 00:01:52,600 # I'm waiting for you. # 36 00:01:58,720 --> 00:02:01,320 I haven't been to a job interview in years. 37 00:02:01,320 --> 00:02:03,600 In fact, I've never been to a job interview. 38 00:02:03,600 --> 00:02:05,840 I suppose I should just be myself? 39 00:02:05,840 --> 00:02:07,160 You joking? 40 00:02:07,160 --> 00:02:09,920 Don't do that, mate, that won't help. 41 00:02:09,920 --> 00:02:11,080 Who shall I be then? 42 00:02:11,080 --> 00:02:13,320 Someone else. Someone better. 43 00:02:13,320 --> 00:02:15,280 Cheers. 44 00:02:15,280 --> 00:02:16,840 Try to be a bit more... 45 00:02:19,200 --> 00:02:20,520 What's that? 46 00:02:20,520 --> 00:02:24,120 Sparky! A bit less... 47 00:02:24,120 --> 00:02:27,040 - What's that? - Morose. 48 00:02:27,040 --> 00:02:29,200 Bloody hell, it's going to be a disaster. 49 00:02:29,200 --> 00:02:31,600 Told you Becky's handed in her notice at work? 50 00:02:31,600 --> 00:02:33,160 Three times. 51 00:02:33,160 --> 00:02:35,000 If I don't get this job, we'll be homeless. 52 00:02:35,000 --> 00:02:36,880 We'll have to move in with her mum. 53 00:02:36,880 --> 00:02:39,800 That'll be nice. That's bound to go smoothly. 54 00:02:39,800 --> 00:02:40,840 I know. 55 00:02:43,080 --> 00:02:45,360 So you been doing any reading up? 56 00:02:45,360 --> 00:02:48,480 As much as I can, there's not much information out there. 57 00:02:48,480 --> 00:02:52,360 Oh, they play a lot of bridge in Botswana. 58 00:02:52,360 --> 00:02:54,920 Apparently a national sport. 59 00:02:54,920 --> 00:02:57,600 Right, well, that's useful. That'll come in handy(!) 60 00:02:57,600 --> 00:03:01,600 And there's a big death metal scene, mention the band Crack Dust. 61 00:03:01,600 --> 00:03:03,440 Right, so bridge and Crack Dust. 62 00:03:04,680 --> 00:03:05,840 Job's yours. 63 00:03:08,720 --> 00:03:11,040 - You seen Kate? - No. 64 00:03:12,200 --> 00:03:14,080 Coming to the flat on Wednesday. 65 00:03:15,400 --> 00:03:16,640 Big day. 66 00:03:18,240 --> 00:03:19,920 What you worried about? 67 00:03:19,920 --> 00:03:20,960 Well... 68 00:03:22,160 --> 00:03:25,760 She'll be seeing me in my natural habitat, won't she? 69 00:03:25,760 --> 00:03:27,360 The real me. 70 00:03:27,360 --> 00:03:29,920 Want to make a good impression. 71 00:03:29,920 --> 00:03:32,280 Hide the signed Linda Lusardi photo. 72 00:03:32,280 --> 00:03:33,400 It's already gone. 73 00:03:37,240 --> 00:03:40,560 Can't believe you've got a grown-up daughter. 74 00:03:40,560 --> 00:03:42,720 Did she call you Lance or Dad? 75 00:03:42,720 --> 00:03:46,200 Well, she's skilfully avoided calling me anything up to now. 76 00:03:47,640 --> 00:03:51,680 Obviously, I'd like her to call me Dad, but, you know... 77 00:03:51,680 --> 00:03:53,200 I've got to give her space. 78 00:03:54,560 --> 00:03:57,960 I can't imagine it, out of the blue like that. 79 00:03:57,960 --> 00:04:01,240 Well, it's not out the blue for me, is it? 80 00:04:01,240 --> 00:04:04,480 I've been thinking about this for the last 20 years. 81 00:04:04,480 --> 00:04:07,480 How it'll pan out, good or bad. 82 00:04:10,200 --> 00:04:13,360 Just hope it's one of the good ones and I don't muck it up. 83 00:04:17,240 --> 00:04:19,280 BEEPS What you got? 84 00:04:22,680 --> 00:04:24,880 Some sort of brooch. 85 00:04:24,880 --> 00:04:25,920 Hm. 86 00:04:27,280 --> 00:04:28,440 Nice condition. 87 00:04:29,640 --> 00:04:31,880 It's got the enamelling and... 88 00:04:31,880 --> 00:04:34,520 and the original pin on the back. 89 00:04:34,520 --> 00:04:38,160 - Yeah? - Yeah. Hang on, there's an inscription... 90 00:04:39,560 --> 00:04:41,160 in Latin! 91 00:04:41,160 --> 00:04:42,280 What's it say? 92 00:04:43,800 --> 00:04:45,720 Status quo. 93 00:04:57,480 --> 00:05:01,240 RADIO PLAYS 80S POP MUSIC 94 00:05:02,560 --> 00:05:05,520 Did you see that guy who found a Roman hoard in Warwickshire? 95 00:05:05,520 --> 00:05:06,640 No. 96 00:05:06,640 --> 00:05:08,440 A million pounds, they reckon. 97 00:05:08,440 --> 00:05:09,760 Whatever. 98 00:05:09,760 --> 00:05:12,440 - And it was his first time detecting. - Second, whatever. 99 00:05:12,440 --> 00:05:15,000 SHE LAUGHS MOCKINGLY 100 00:05:15,000 --> 00:05:16,840 You did see it! 101 00:05:16,840 --> 00:05:18,680 Are you jealous? 102 00:05:18,680 --> 00:05:19,800 No, why should I be? 103 00:05:19,800 --> 00:05:23,120 You are, you're jealous. 104 00:05:23,120 --> 00:05:26,400 God, I can't stand it when other people find good things. 105 00:05:26,400 --> 00:05:29,240 Can't turn on the news these days without hearing somebody else 106 00:05:29,240 --> 00:05:31,320 has stumbled upon a hoard of ancient treasure. 107 00:05:31,320 --> 00:05:33,280 Some of them aren't even looking. 108 00:05:33,280 --> 00:05:36,080 Everyone else is sliding around in Roman coins. 109 00:05:36,080 --> 00:05:38,840 I can't even watch Time Team any more because I'm jealous of them. 110 00:05:40,800 --> 00:05:42,840 Well, you'd be safe in Africa. 111 00:05:42,840 --> 00:05:45,600 They don't have Time Team in Botswana. 112 00:05:45,600 --> 00:05:47,480 I need to get the job first. 113 00:05:47,480 --> 00:05:49,400 To be honest, Becks, I'm bricking it. 114 00:05:49,400 --> 00:05:51,240 You'll be fine. 115 00:05:51,240 --> 00:05:52,280 And if I'm not? 116 00:05:53,720 --> 00:05:57,720 Maybe I can retract my notice and carry on working. 117 00:06:00,480 --> 00:06:03,400 They'll probably just ask you about your CV and 118 00:06:03,400 --> 00:06:05,080 see if you've got any questions. 119 00:06:05,080 --> 00:06:07,040 I don't have a CV. 120 00:06:07,040 --> 00:06:09,920 Oh. I wrote you a CV. 121 00:06:09,920 --> 00:06:11,160 Did you? 122 00:06:11,160 --> 00:06:14,640 Yeah. So you might want to make yourself familiar with that. 123 00:06:17,280 --> 00:06:18,440 I can't ride a horse. 124 00:06:18,440 --> 00:06:22,080 Well, they're not going to ask you to ride a horse, are they? 125 00:06:22,080 --> 00:06:24,160 They're not going to have a horse with them. 126 00:06:24,160 --> 00:06:27,880 - Why did you put I could ride a horse? - Forget about the horse! 127 00:06:27,880 --> 00:06:30,880 And this palaeontology course that I attended on the Jurassic coast? 128 00:06:30,880 --> 00:06:32,440 - Yeah? - It wasn't so much a course. 129 00:06:32,440 --> 00:06:34,240 - You got qualifications. - It was a badge... 130 00:06:34,240 --> 00:06:35,840 - You learned a lot. - ..for Cubs. 131 00:06:37,800 --> 00:06:39,800 Well, to be honest, I was struggling. 132 00:06:39,800 --> 00:06:42,760 Oh, well, I'm feeling so much better about this now. 133 00:06:42,760 --> 00:06:45,160 Relax, you'll be great! 134 00:06:45,160 --> 00:06:48,640 No, I'm all right. I'm going to give it my best shot, for all of us. 135 00:06:51,320 --> 00:06:54,480 I've heard you talk so passionately about archaeology, 136 00:06:54,480 --> 00:06:57,960 they will see that passion if you let them, and I'm sure 137 00:06:57,960 --> 00:07:00,160 that'll make up for your lack of experience. 138 00:07:00,160 --> 00:07:01,880 Yeah, definitely. 139 00:07:01,880 --> 00:07:04,720 You're so ready for something like this, Andy. 140 00:07:04,720 --> 00:07:05,880 We both are. 141 00:07:06,920 --> 00:07:10,520 It's time to make decisions, get our lives kick-started, 142 00:07:10,520 --> 00:07:13,840 to really grab life by the horns, don't you think? 143 00:07:15,960 --> 00:07:17,080 Andy? 144 00:07:17,080 --> 00:07:18,400 Yeah? 145 00:07:18,400 --> 00:07:19,880 Are you listening? 146 00:07:19,880 --> 00:07:22,920 Sorry, I can't decide whether to wash the salad or not. 147 00:07:22,920 --> 00:07:24,000 Ugh! 148 00:07:24,000 --> 00:07:25,600 Do you think I should wash the salad? 149 00:07:28,480 --> 00:07:29,680 Do you know what? 150 00:07:31,040 --> 00:07:34,400 That's a decision you're going to have to make for yourself. 151 00:07:34,400 --> 00:07:37,440 Pardon? Was that a yes or a no? 152 00:07:42,320 --> 00:07:44,560 'Of sentimental value, yes. We're thinking...' 153 00:07:50,880 --> 00:07:52,000 How's your tea? 154 00:07:52,000 --> 00:07:53,400 Really horrible. 155 00:07:53,400 --> 00:07:54,440 Yeah? 156 00:07:55,560 --> 00:07:57,160 Really horrible. 157 00:07:57,160 --> 00:08:00,200 It's got a flavour I can't quite put my finger on. 158 00:08:00,200 --> 00:08:01,600 I can't describe it. 159 00:08:01,600 --> 00:08:04,320 Sorry, it's the kettle. 160 00:08:04,320 --> 00:08:06,360 - I use it for... - Please don't tell me. 161 00:08:06,360 --> 00:08:07,760 HE LAUGHS 162 00:08:09,240 --> 00:08:12,280 I was thinking about those guys that came into the pub. 163 00:08:12,280 --> 00:08:13,760 - Dirt Sharks. - Yeah? 164 00:08:13,760 --> 00:08:16,800 What do you think they were after? Do you think they know something? 165 00:08:16,800 --> 00:08:20,600 No, they're idiots, they're just being nosey. 166 00:08:20,600 --> 00:08:22,920 I was wondering if I should go see them. 167 00:08:22,920 --> 00:08:24,800 Honestly, they're always hanging about, 168 00:08:24,800 --> 00:08:27,440 they're just afraid they're missing out on something. 169 00:08:27,440 --> 00:08:30,880 Yeah, but I feel a bit rude. Wouldn't mind to say sorry. 170 00:08:30,880 --> 00:08:33,600 - Do you know where I can call them? - No. 171 00:08:33,600 --> 00:08:36,000 But they meet at the WI on a Thursday night. 172 00:08:41,000 --> 00:08:42,720 Have you got a detector? 173 00:08:42,720 --> 00:08:45,680 Yeah, I got one second-hand. 174 00:08:45,680 --> 00:08:47,040 It's a really good one. 175 00:08:47,040 --> 00:08:49,040 Yeah, got a good deal. 176 00:08:49,040 --> 00:08:50,920 Do you know how to use it? 177 00:08:50,920 --> 00:08:52,160 I'll figure it out. 178 00:09:03,480 --> 00:09:06,000 So what are you going to do once you find the plane? 179 00:09:06,000 --> 00:09:10,560 - You going to go home? - Well, no. Actually, I was thinking of taking 180 00:09:10,560 --> 00:09:12,880 - the detector on a tour of duty. - Where? 181 00:09:12,880 --> 00:09:16,680 Don't know, just drive around, maybe visit some historic sites. 182 00:09:16,680 --> 00:09:18,520 Oh, that sounds nice. 183 00:09:19,920 --> 00:09:21,920 Come with me. 184 00:09:21,920 --> 00:09:24,800 - Really? - You got plans for the summer? 185 00:09:24,800 --> 00:09:27,080 - Not really. - Come with me, then. 186 00:09:28,840 --> 00:09:29,920 OK. 187 00:09:35,360 --> 00:09:38,720 - No, you give it to him. - You found it, I'm not touching it. 188 00:09:38,720 --> 00:09:41,120 I'm not very good with authority figures. 189 00:09:41,120 --> 00:09:42,280 The mayor has no authority 190 00:09:42,280 --> 00:09:44,920 unless he's wearing his necklace, so don't hand that over 191 00:09:44,920 --> 00:09:47,720 until he gives you permission to detect on his land. 192 00:09:47,720 --> 00:09:50,520 We're doing this for the club. We're on a mission. 193 00:10:01,320 --> 00:10:05,040 I can't get the image of the mayor out of my head...in the woods. 194 00:10:05,040 --> 00:10:08,800 I know, try not to think about it. Try to imagine him fully clothed. 195 00:10:10,920 --> 00:10:11,960 Yes? 196 00:10:13,160 --> 00:10:15,440 Um... Hello, sir. 197 00:10:15,440 --> 00:10:17,880 We're...we're the detectorists. 198 00:10:17,880 --> 00:10:18,960 The what? 199 00:10:18,960 --> 00:10:21,880 Metal detectors, we found your necklace. 200 00:10:26,400 --> 00:10:30,120 - WHISPERS: - It's called a chain of office, you took your bloody time. 201 00:10:30,120 --> 00:10:31,240 Is it all there? 202 00:10:31,240 --> 00:10:35,120 It might need some fixing, I think some of the links are broken. 203 00:10:35,120 --> 00:10:37,920 It must have been flung off with quite some abandon. 204 00:10:37,920 --> 00:10:39,400 It got caught on a branch. 205 00:10:39,400 --> 00:10:41,120 That's right... 206 00:10:41,120 --> 00:10:45,040 Good. Well, I'll phone Terry about the reward. 207 00:10:45,040 --> 00:10:46,400 Actually, Your Worship, 208 00:10:46,400 --> 00:10:48,840 instead of a reward, we were wondering 209 00:10:48,840 --> 00:10:52,680 whether or not you might grant us permission to detect on your land. 210 00:10:52,680 --> 00:10:56,320 No, absolutely not, out of the question. 211 00:10:56,320 --> 00:10:57,440 Oh. 212 00:10:57,440 --> 00:10:59,440 No, nothing to find there. 213 00:10:59,440 --> 00:11:01,120 No, no. 214 00:11:01,120 --> 00:11:04,000 - Well, we won't take up any more of your time. - Good. 215 00:11:04,000 --> 00:11:06,760 Oh, there's just one more thing. 216 00:11:08,560 --> 00:11:11,600 - What? - Well, it's just that the local papers have been in contact asking 217 00:11:11,600 --> 00:11:14,360 if we have any interesting stories, and we thought they'd be very 218 00:11:14,360 --> 00:11:18,240 interested to hear about your necklace and...where you lost it. 219 00:11:18,240 --> 00:11:21,360 It could get a lot of attention, or could go global, 220 00:11:21,360 --> 00:11:23,760 or make the local TV news. 221 00:11:23,760 --> 00:11:25,760 Terry said they like a quirky story. 222 00:11:25,760 --> 00:11:28,280 Especially one with a happy ending. 223 00:11:28,280 --> 00:11:30,120 LAUGHS: So to speak. 224 00:11:33,720 --> 00:11:34,920 I see. 225 00:11:36,880 --> 00:11:38,760 Well, Terry's idea, was this? 226 00:11:39,880 --> 00:11:41,520 Always knew Terry was bent. 227 00:11:41,520 --> 00:11:44,040 Even when he was in the Force, he didn't play by the rules. 228 00:11:44,040 --> 00:11:45,080 And this... 229 00:11:46,440 --> 00:11:48,600 There is a word for this. 230 00:11:48,600 --> 00:11:49,760 Is there? 231 00:11:51,560 --> 00:11:52,600 Hm. 232 00:11:59,880 --> 00:12:02,600 Fine. Have your permission. 233 00:12:04,240 --> 00:12:06,640 I know what you're up to, I've been warned about you. 234 00:12:06,640 --> 00:12:07,720 Have you? 235 00:12:07,720 --> 00:12:09,720 But he's one step ahead of you, you know. 236 00:12:09,720 --> 00:12:10,760 Who is? 237 00:12:14,200 --> 00:12:15,400 Well, thank you! 238 00:12:16,440 --> 00:12:19,080 You might want to give that a wipe. 239 00:12:19,080 --> 00:12:21,560 RUSS GROANS 240 00:12:37,400 --> 00:12:40,440 Hello, I've got an interview at 10.30, Andrew Stone. 241 00:12:41,680 --> 00:12:44,160 They're running about half an hour behind, you OK to wait? 242 00:12:44,160 --> 00:12:46,280 - Yeah, sure. - Take a seat. - Thank you. 243 00:13:24,760 --> 00:13:26,800 - I'm just going to get some fresh air. - OK. 244 00:13:55,160 --> 00:13:56,200 Morning. 245 00:14:14,480 --> 00:14:16,080 - Andrew Stone? - Yes. 246 00:14:16,080 --> 00:14:19,120 Sorry to keep you waiting, do you want to come through? 247 00:14:24,400 --> 00:14:25,760 Come in, come in. 248 00:14:30,200 --> 00:14:32,640 I'm Robert Kingsnorth and this is Dr Tendai 249 00:14:32,640 --> 00:14:35,320 from the University of Gaborone. Have a seat. 250 00:14:36,960 --> 00:14:40,120 Dr Tendai is overseeing the excavation at Toutswemogala. 251 00:14:40,120 --> 00:14:41,160 Right, yes. 252 00:14:43,880 --> 00:14:45,000 Is there another...? 253 00:14:45,000 --> 00:14:46,880 No, that's it, I'm afraid. 254 00:14:46,880 --> 00:14:47,920 Right. 255 00:14:50,680 --> 00:14:52,520 - Nearly qualified, I see. - Yes. 256 00:14:56,080 --> 00:14:58,760 Not much experience in the field. 257 00:14:58,760 --> 00:14:59,920 No, not yet. 258 00:15:00,920 --> 00:15:01,960 Right. 259 00:15:03,840 --> 00:15:05,920 How much do you know about Botswana? 260 00:15:06,920 --> 00:15:07,960 Um... 261 00:15:09,200 --> 00:15:12,120 I believe that bridge is very popular. 262 00:15:16,080 --> 00:15:17,120 The card game. 263 00:15:19,720 --> 00:15:22,320 I meant archaeology in Botswana. 264 00:15:22,320 --> 00:15:23,880 Yes. 265 00:15:23,880 --> 00:15:25,120 Sounds fascinating. 266 00:15:26,640 --> 00:15:28,280 What does? 267 00:15:28,280 --> 00:15:29,520 Archaeology. 268 00:15:30,920 --> 00:15:31,960 Yes. 269 00:15:33,040 --> 00:15:35,760 How much have you studied the Iron Age? 270 00:15:35,760 --> 00:15:38,640 Well, I wrote a thesis on the Sterling hoard. 271 00:15:38,640 --> 00:15:40,480 Sterling hoard, the gold torcs? 272 00:15:40,480 --> 00:15:41,600 That's right, yeah. 273 00:15:41,600 --> 00:15:43,560 Found by a metal detector. 274 00:15:43,560 --> 00:15:44,880 Yes. 275 00:15:44,880 --> 00:15:47,080 What are you views on metal detectors? 276 00:15:50,000 --> 00:15:51,520 Um... 277 00:15:51,520 --> 00:15:55,120 I think as long as they stick to a strict code of conduct, 278 00:15:55,120 --> 00:15:57,080 then metal detectors... 279 00:15:57,080 --> 00:16:00,640 people using metal detectors provide a valuable service and recover 280 00:16:00,640 --> 00:16:03,840 a lot of archaeology that would otherwise be lost to the plough. 281 00:16:03,840 --> 00:16:07,320 I mean, hobbyists get a very bad press, but the vast majority are 282 00:16:07,320 --> 00:16:09,680 law-abiding experts in their field 283 00:16:09,680 --> 00:16:11,920 and absolutely passionate about history. 284 00:16:11,920 --> 00:16:15,400 You're not a metal detector, are you, Mr Stone? 285 00:16:16,760 --> 00:16:17,880 Detectorist. 286 00:16:19,000 --> 00:16:20,040 No. 287 00:16:21,800 --> 00:16:25,320 Oh, God, and then I asked him if he was into death metal! 288 00:16:25,320 --> 00:16:28,560 Curse Lance and his pub quiz trivia. 289 00:16:28,560 --> 00:16:31,160 I know, but, baby, it was awful. 290 00:16:31,160 --> 00:16:32,840 When I shook their hands at the end, 291 00:16:32,840 --> 00:16:35,280 they recoiled because mine was so cold and clammy. 292 00:16:35,280 --> 00:16:37,720 I mean, they physically recoiled. 293 00:16:37,720 --> 00:16:40,120 Hang on, babes, hang on a second. Dr Tendai? 294 00:16:40,120 --> 00:16:41,680 - Yes? - Um... 295 00:16:41,680 --> 00:16:44,680 Sorry, I just wanted to say, I wasn't picking up cigarette butts. 296 00:16:44,680 --> 00:16:45,920 Excuse me? 297 00:16:45,920 --> 00:16:49,680 Earlier when you saw me, I wasn't picking up cigarette butts. 298 00:16:49,680 --> 00:16:52,480 - Oh. - Clay pipes. 299 00:16:52,480 --> 00:16:54,200 Pardon? 300 00:16:54,200 --> 00:16:57,000 I saw just bits of clay pipe in the flower bed, I... 301 00:16:58,840 --> 00:16:59,960 What are they? 302 00:16:59,960 --> 00:17:05,280 Broken bits of pipe, you know, that people used to...smoke. 303 00:17:06,440 --> 00:17:07,720 How old are they? 304 00:17:07,720 --> 00:17:09,720 Well, these ones are Victorian, 305 00:17:09,720 --> 00:17:14,640 - but that one's early 18th, maybe late 17th century. - Hm. 306 00:17:14,640 --> 00:17:16,080 How can you tell? 307 00:17:16,080 --> 00:17:19,000 The older ones are thicker and they had a much smaller bulb 308 00:17:19,000 --> 00:17:20,800 because tobacco was so expensive. 309 00:17:20,800 --> 00:17:23,960 OK. And you found these just here? 310 00:17:23,960 --> 00:17:25,280 Yeah, just... Yeah. 311 00:17:26,960 --> 00:17:28,760 Can I keep these? 312 00:17:28,760 --> 00:17:30,160 Yeah. 313 00:17:30,160 --> 00:17:31,720 Thanks. Bye. 314 00:17:31,720 --> 00:17:32,760 Bye-bye. 315 00:17:32,760 --> 00:17:34,240 Oh! 316 00:17:34,240 --> 00:17:36,840 What was the name of the band you said you like? 317 00:17:37,880 --> 00:17:39,000 Crack Dust. 318 00:17:39,000 --> 00:17:40,920 Crack Dust. 319 00:17:42,080 --> 00:17:43,240 I'll check them out. 320 00:17:47,000 --> 00:17:50,160 - SHE LAUGHS HYSTERICALLY - Oh, God! 321 00:17:50,160 --> 00:17:51,920 A maverick, yeah? 322 00:17:51,920 --> 00:17:54,360 He didn't actually use the word maverick, no. 323 00:17:54,360 --> 00:17:57,080 He said you never did play by the rules. 324 00:17:57,080 --> 00:18:00,040 Yeah, he's basically saying I was a maverick. 325 00:18:00,040 --> 00:18:03,440 Sometimes you've got to throw away the rule book and go with a hunch. 326 00:18:03,440 --> 00:18:06,600 I wasn't in the business of bureaucracy and red tape. 327 00:18:06,600 --> 00:18:09,160 I was in the business of catching criminals. 328 00:18:10,600 --> 00:18:12,600 That was back when I had my Cortina. 329 00:18:13,680 --> 00:18:15,480 Eh, Sheila? 330 00:18:15,480 --> 00:18:16,600 What's that, love? 331 00:18:16,600 --> 00:18:18,920 The old Cortina. 332 00:18:18,920 --> 00:18:21,520 Oh, yes! 333 00:18:21,520 --> 00:18:22,960 And your leather jacket. 334 00:18:22,960 --> 00:18:25,480 HE CHUCKLES NOSTALGICALLY 335 00:18:25,480 --> 00:18:26,760 Right. 336 00:18:26,760 --> 00:18:31,080 I don't know how many of you heard that, but we've got some good news. 337 00:18:31,080 --> 00:18:33,720 Thanks to the brave efforts of Russell and Hugh, 338 00:18:33,720 --> 00:18:37,480 we now have permission to detect on the mayor's land. 339 00:18:37,480 --> 00:18:40,200 Whoa. Has that land ever been searched before? 340 00:18:40,200 --> 00:18:42,240 Never. Virgin land. 341 00:18:42,240 --> 00:18:43,280 How many acres? 342 00:18:43,280 --> 00:18:44,320 500. 343 00:18:44,320 --> 00:18:45,560 Get in! 344 00:18:45,560 --> 00:18:46,880 So the rally's on? 345 00:18:46,880 --> 00:18:48,400 Can't think of any reason why not. 346 00:18:48,400 --> 00:18:51,560 Well, hang on, aren't we forgetting something? 347 00:18:51,560 --> 00:18:54,680 This was about finding Peter's grandfather and the crash site. 348 00:18:54,680 --> 00:18:57,360 Well, it's funny you should mention that. 349 00:18:57,360 --> 00:18:58,760 Has anyone seen Peter? 350 00:18:58,760 --> 00:19:00,120 Yeah, I saw him this morning. 351 00:19:00,120 --> 00:19:02,720 RUSS CHUCKLES TIMIDLY 352 00:19:02,720 --> 00:19:05,200 - Is he coming this evening? - Said he was. 353 00:19:05,200 --> 00:19:08,520 Because I have in my hand a piece of paper 354 00:19:08,520 --> 00:19:10,360 that needs some explaining. 355 00:19:10,360 --> 00:19:11,600 What's that, Tel-boy? 356 00:19:11,600 --> 00:19:14,720 This is the license to excavate the crash site 357 00:19:14,720 --> 00:19:17,240 - from the Ministry of Defence. - Bloody hell, that was quick. 358 00:19:17,240 --> 00:19:20,520 Exactly. Why? 359 00:19:20,520 --> 00:19:24,720 Because they have got a full record of the crash, 360 00:19:24,720 --> 00:19:30,200 and there is no mention of any human remains being onboard. 361 00:19:30,200 --> 00:19:32,000 What, it's already been excavated? 362 00:19:32,000 --> 00:19:36,720 No. No-one's touched the plane. There was no need. 363 00:19:36,720 --> 00:19:38,680 The crewmen all parachuted to safety 364 00:19:38,680 --> 00:19:40,160 and were captured two days later 365 00:19:40,160 --> 00:19:43,320 trying to steal a boat from South Woodham Ferrers. 366 00:19:43,320 --> 00:19:44,840 So what I want to know is... 367 00:19:44,840 --> 00:19:47,040 - What's he up to? - What's he looking for? 368 00:19:47,040 --> 00:19:48,120 Gold. 369 00:19:51,520 --> 00:19:52,640 What's that, Varde? 370 00:19:52,640 --> 00:19:55,960 Well, there's always rumours on the internet, conspiracy theories, 371 00:19:55,960 --> 00:19:58,360 most of which are completely spurious. 372 00:19:58,360 --> 00:20:02,720 But one persistent story is of a German bomber carrying gold bullion 373 00:20:02,720 --> 00:20:05,480 that's supposed to have crashed in Essex in 1941. 374 00:20:05,480 --> 00:20:08,080 There's no real evidence that it ever existed, but the more 375 00:20:08,080 --> 00:20:10,880 the theories are repeated, the more credence they have and... 376 00:20:10,880 --> 00:20:13,320 Yeah, all, right Varde, let someone else get a word in. 377 00:20:14,840 --> 00:20:17,320 Who else has heard this gold bullion story? 378 00:20:19,280 --> 00:20:21,200 So, hang on, is he lying? 379 00:20:21,200 --> 00:20:22,760 Is he a treasure hunter? 380 00:20:22,760 --> 00:20:25,200 No! It's rubbish. 381 00:20:25,200 --> 00:20:27,080 Varde just said it's completely untrue. 382 00:20:27,080 --> 00:20:30,400 No, she didn't say it was untrue, she said there was no real evidence. 383 00:20:30,400 --> 00:20:31,440 Didn't you, Varde? 384 00:20:32,640 --> 00:20:35,120 You lot are obsessed with gold. 385 00:20:35,120 --> 00:20:36,320 Here we go. 386 00:20:36,320 --> 00:20:38,680 Come to think of it, the mayor was acting suspiciously, 387 00:20:38,680 --> 00:20:41,480 like he knew something we didn't. 388 00:20:41,480 --> 00:20:43,240 So is that it? 389 00:20:43,240 --> 00:20:45,160 Are we being taken for a ride? 390 00:20:48,960 --> 00:20:50,280 Um, hello? 391 00:20:50,280 --> 00:20:51,880 So! 392 00:20:51,880 --> 00:20:55,520 You don't want us to disturb your grandfather, do you? 393 00:20:55,520 --> 00:20:56,760 What's that, Terry? 394 00:20:56,760 --> 00:21:00,280 Your grandfather, want him to be left in peace? 395 00:21:00,280 --> 00:21:01,800 Yes, that's right. 396 00:21:01,800 --> 00:21:04,960 Why is that? Been watching the telly? 397 00:21:04,960 --> 00:21:07,600 - Sorry, I... - I don't think he knows, Terry. 398 00:21:07,600 --> 00:21:10,400 What, there's a spot of Sudoku, doesn't want to be disturbed? 399 00:21:10,400 --> 00:21:13,080 - What are you talking about? - Terry, I don't think he knows. 400 00:21:13,080 --> 00:21:15,160 - What? - Knows what? 401 00:21:15,160 --> 00:21:16,960 That your grandfather... 402 00:21:16,960 --> 00:21:19,040 Didn't die in the plane crash? 403 00:21:20,600 --> 00:21:21,640 What? 404 00:21:23,720 --> 00:21:27,200 Oh. OK, well, um... 405 00:21:27,200 --> 00:21:29,080 Congratulations, 406 00:21:29,080 --> 00:21:30,800 your grandfather isn't dead. 407 00:21:33,120 --> 00:21:35,760 Well, of course he may be...by now. 408 00:21:35,760 --> 00:21:38,600 But he didn't perish in an air crash. 409 00:21:40,120 --> 00:21:42,520 Not this one anyway. 410 00:21:42,520 --> 00:21:46,560 This is a cause for celebration! 411 00:21:46,560 --> 00:21:49,560 Oh, is it, Sheila? Anyone else in the mood for a party? 412 00:21:50,760 --> 00:21:53,360 This isn't necessarily good news for me. 413 00:21:53,360 --> 00:21:55,840 If my grandfather survived the war, that means he made 414 00:21:55,840 --> 00:21:58,360 the conscious decision not to come home to his family. 415 00:21:58,360 --> 00:22:01,160 No. Yeah. Right. 416 00:22:01,160 --> 00:22:02,280 Didn't think of that. 417 00:22:02,280 --> 00:22:03,440 Hm. 418 00:22:03,440 --> 00:22:04,760 Anyway! 419 00:22:04,760 --> 00:22:07,320 Means we need to get the plane now...for the rally. 420 00:22:11,200 --> 00:22:13,920 - Peter, he didn't realise. - I know, I know. God, 421 00:22:13,920 --> 00:22:17,320 but I came asking for help and it's turning into some stupid circus. 422 00:22:17,320 --> 00:22:19,400 He didn't know he was going to discover that. 423 00:22:19,400 --> 00:22:21,680 I know, but I need to figure out what I want to do, OK? 424 00:22:21,680 --> 00:22:23,440 I need to think. 425 00:22:23,440 --> 00:22:24,920 Well, do you want me to come? 426 00:22:24,920 --> 00:22:26,360 No, I'll call. 427 00:22:37,240 --> 00:22:38,560 You're a what? 428 00:22:38,560 --> 00:22:40,920 A detectorist. 429 00:22:40,920 --> 00:22:43,760 Are you on some sort of register? HE CHUCKLES 430 00:22:43,760 --> 00:22:45,640 It's a hobby. 431 00:22:45,640 --> 00:22:47,680 We go out looking for...for metals. 432 00:22:49,520 --> 00:22:51,280 Buried metals. 433 00:22:51,280 --> 00:22:53,200 - Gold and stuff. - Treasure. 434 00:22:53,200 --> 00:22:55,960 - Well, we wouldn't put it like that. - Pirate treasure. 435 00:22:55,960 --> 00:22:57,480 No. Pirate treasure, no. 436 00:22:58,520 --> 00:22:59,720 Have you found any? 437 00:22:59,720 --> 00:23:01,360 - What, gold? - Yeah. 438 00:23:01,360 --> 00:23:03,200 No. 439 00:23:03,200 --> 00:23:05,440 OK, what's the best thing you have found? 440 00:23:05,440 --> 00:23:06,960 Let's, um... 441 00:23:06,960 --> 00:23:08,200 Why don't we...? 442 00:23:09,520 --> 00:23:11,120 I've got a surprise for you. 443 00:23:13,040 --> 00:23:14,760 I've been meaning to give you this. 444 00:23:19,600 --> 00:23:21,720 I bought it for you when you were born. 445 00:23:23,160 --> 00:23:25,000 Or when I thought you were born. 446 00:23:26,960 --> 00:23:29,040 It's a bit late, I've been saving it. 447 00:23:30,520 --> 00:23:32,280 Oh... 448 00:23:32,280 --> 00:23:34,200 Thank you. 449 00:23:34,200 --> 00:23:36,600 I think you might have appreciated it more back then. 450 00:23:36,600 --> 00:23:40,400 No. No, I like it, thanks. 451 00:23:40,400 --> 00:23:43,880 And here, this is for... 452 00:23:43,880 --> 00:23:45,600 for Christmas that same year. 453 00:23:47,400 --> 00:23:49,640 It's not much, I was a bit skint. 454 00:23:49,640 --> 00:23:51,360 Wow. Oh! 455 00:23:52,720 --> 00:23:55,640 I just can't believe you've saved them all these years. 456 00:23:55,640 --> 00:23:57,920 Oh, that's not it. 457 00:23:58,960 --> 00:24:00,000 Here's... 458 00:24:01,720 --> 00:24:04,200 This is for your first birthday. 459 00:24:04,200 --> 00:24:05,800 And this is for your second. 460 00:24:07,240 --> 00:24:08,280 And... 461 00:24:09,840 --> 00:24:11,680 ..this is for 462 00:24:11,680 --> 00:24:14,760 Christmas those years. 463 00:24:15,880 --> 00:24:18,720 - And here... - OK, wait, wait. Lance. - This is for your third birthday. 464 00:24:18,720 --> 00:24:20,920 - And here's your fourth. - OK, slow down a bit. Lance. 465 00:24:20,920 --> 00:24:22,080 Lance wait, wait. 466 00:24:22,080 --> 00:24:26,400 You've bought me a birthday and a Christmas present ever year. 467 00:24:26,400 --> 00:24:27,440 Yes. 468 00:24:28,800 --> 00:24:30,960 That...that's over 40 presents. 469 00:24:32,760 --> 00:24:34,640 Yes. 470 00:24:34,640 --> 00:24:37,440 Lance, this is amazing, but I'm freaking out a bit. 471 00:24:37,440 --> 00:24:38,800 What do you mean? 472 00:24:38,800 --> 00:24:42,360 I... Oh, I don't think I even own 40 things. 473 00:24:42,360 --> 00:24:44,640 Oh, fine. 474 00:24:44,640 --> 00:24:47,400 Well, open this at least. 475 00:24:47,400 --> 00:24:48,600 The presents can wait. 476 00:24:54,760 --> 00:24:56,320 - What is it? - Open it. 477 00:25:03,320 --> 00:25:05,160 It's your child maintenance. 478 00:25:05,160 --> 00:25:09,440 I put it aside every month till you were 18. 479 00:25:09,440 --> 00:25:12,400 It's been gathering interest ever since. 480 00:25:12,400 --> 00:25:14,840 I can't accept that. 481 00:25:14,840 --> 00:25:17,960 What do you mean? No, it's yours already. It's always been yours. 482 00:25:17,960 --> 00:25:20,240 I'm not giving you anything you didn't already own, 483 00:25:20,240 --> 00:25:22,480 - you just didn't know about it. - No, Lance I just ... 484 00:25:22,480 --> 00:25:24,480 - No, no call me Dad. - No! 485 00:25:24,480 --> 00:25:26,000 I can't yet, I'm sorry. Um... 486 00:25:26,000 --> 00:25:28,800 This is all just a bit much. I'm going to go. I'm sorry. 487 00:25:28,800 --> 00:25:32,440 No, no, you don't have to. You're not supposed to go yet. 488 00:25:32,440 --> 00:25:35,480 No, but... I've got all the... 489 00:25:46,320 --> 00:25:49,480 'Postman's coming. You might hear about that job today.' 490 00:25:49,480 --> 00:25:51,880 Yeah, I wouldn't hold your breath. 491 00:25:51,880 --> 00:25:54,480 Should've seen the beards on the other applicants. 492 00:25:54,480 --> 00:25:58,360 'A beard and BO doth not an archaeologist make.' 493 00:25:58,360 --> 00:26:00,920 Sure goes a long way towards fitting in, though. 494 00:26:12,400 --> 00:26:14,720 - Is that it? - No. 495 00:26:14,720 --> 00:26:17,080 It's a magazine subscription thing. 496 00:26:19,520 --> 00:26:23,080 Have a nice day with Daddy. Say hello to Uncle Lance. 497 00:26:23,080 --> 00:26:25,400 Don't listen to any of their bullshit. 498 00:26:25,400 --> 00:26:26,680 We don't talk bullshit. 499 00:26:26,680 --> 00:26:28,400 Yes, you do. 500 00:26:28,400 --> 00:26:31,120 We talk about all manner of philosophical issues. 501 00:26:31,120 --> 00:26:35,440 Arts, religion, science, you name it. 502 00:26:35,440 --> 00:26:36,600 Life. 503 00:26:38,920 --> 00:26:41,000 Did you hear about old Rod McClin? 504 00:26:41,000 --> 00:26:43,760 - What about him? - Dead, mate. 505 00:26:43,760 --> 00:26:45,400 How? 506 00:26:45,400 --> 00:26:48,000 Fell in a vat of boiling soup. 507 00:26:48,000 --> 00:26:50,080 - What? - Well, 508 00:26:50,080 --> 00:26:52,840 he was working over at Billingsgate Foods 509 00:26:52,840 --> 00:26:54,800 in charge of the soup, 510 00:26:54,800 --> 00:26:55,840 fell in. 511 00:26:55,840 --> 00:26:57,360 Bloody hell! 512 00:26:57,360 --> 00:26:59,560 Ah, I know. Grim. 513 00:27:05,720 --> 00:27:07,000 Do you know what flavour? 514 00:27:08,600 --> 00:27:10,360 Dunno. 515 00:27:10,360 --> 00:27:13,360 For some reason, I'm imagining tomato. 516 00:27:13,360 --> 00:27:15,000 Yeah. Me too. 517 00:27:16,440 --> 00:27:18,760 He was a legend, Rod McClin. 518 00:27:20,080 --> 00:27:22,240 Didn't people say he had metal detector shoes 519 00:27:22,240 --> 00:27:24,520 so he was constantly detecting? 520 00:27:24,520 --> 00:27:27,360 There's lots of stories about old Rod. 521 00:27:28,520 --> 00:27:31,560 Yeah, he used to go detecting at the end of each day for loose 522 00:27:31,560 --> 00:27:33,320 change on Wimbledon Common. 523 00:27:33,320 --> 00:27:36,920 ANDY SNICKERS 524 00:27:36,920 --> 00:27:38,440 What? 525 00:27:38,440 --> 00:27:39,560 Wimbledon Common. 526 00:27:40,600 --> 00:27:42,280 What about it? 527 00:27:42,280 --> 00:27:43,560 Well, it's not real. 528 00:27:43,560 --> 00:27:45,360 Not real? 529 00:27:46,840 --> 00:27:49,440 No, it's fictitious. It's made up for the Wombles. 530 00:27:49,440 --> 00:27:51,720 No, it wasn't. 531 00:27:51,720 --> 00:27:53,200 Yes, it was. 532 00:27:53,200 --> 00:27:55,000 # Underground, overground 533 00:27:55,000 --> 00:27:56,760 - # Wombling free... # - No, no. 534 00:27:56,760 --> 00:27:59,280 I know the Wombles lived there, 535 00:27:59,280 --> 00:28:01,560 but that doesn't mean it's not a real place. 536 00:28:01,560 --> 00:28:03,040 You believe in Wombles? 537 00:28:03,040 --> 00:28:04,840 Course I don't. 538 00:28:04,840 --> 00:28:09,160 Look, the fictitious Wombles lived fictitiously 539 00:28:09,160 --> 00:28:12,120 on the real-life Wimbledon Common. 540 00:28:12,120 --> 00:28:14,160 - Really? - Google it. 541 00:28:23,400 --> 00:28:24,440 No signal. 542 00:28:25,560 --> 00:28:26,720 Google it later.