1 00:00:02,000 --> 00:00:06,040 This programme contains some strong language. 2 00:00:23,280 --> 00:00:26,200 LOUD PEEING 3 00:00:34,280 --> 00:00:39,280 # Will you search through the lonely earth for me 4 00:00:39,280 --> 00:00:42,440 # Climb through the briar and bramble 5 00:00:44,800 --> 00:00:47,040 # I'll be your treasure 6 00:00:49,440 --> 00:00:51,600 # I'm waiting for you 7 00:00:53,600 --> 00:00:56,680 # I'm waiting for you... # 8 00:01:07,280 --> 00:01:08,880 Morning. 9 00:01:08,880 --> 00:01:10,720 You sleep at all? 10 00:01:10,720 --> 00:01:14,200 No, I needed a wee most of the night, but I was too scared. 11 00:01:14,200 --> 00:01:16,080 Of what? 12 00:01:16,080 --> 00:01:20,000 I don't know. Ghosts, I think, or a wolf. 13 00:01:20,000 --> 00:01:22,320 - You check the spot? - Yeah. 14 00:01:22,320 --> 00:01:24,320 - Anything? - Nah. 15 00:01:24,320 --> 00:01:27,320 There's definitely more. That's why they're watching. 16 00:01:27,320 --> 00:01:29,720 I figured it out. 17 00:01:29,720 --> 00:01:32,600 - Who's watching what? - I figured it out in the night. 18 00:01:33,800 --> 00:01:37,640 The magpies have been watching this spot for centuries. 19 00:01:37,640 --> 00:01:39,880 Successive generations of them. 20 00:01:39,880 --> 00:01:43,160 The magpies know there's more down there. 21 00:01:43,160 --> 00:01:45,880 You sound a bit mystical. 22 00:01:45,880 --> 00:01:48,680 No. Makes sense. 23 00:01:48,680 --> 00:01:51,720 - Magpies love shiny things. - Yeah, but they don't pass stories 24 00:01:51,720 --> 00:01:54,640 - to their kids and grandkids. - How do you know? 25 00:01:54,640 --> 00:01:58,080 Might be some sort of collective genetic memory. 26 00:01:58,080 --> 00:02:00,160 Do you want a cup of tea? 27 00:02:07,600 --> 00:02:10,000 How do I catch a magpie? 28 00:02:10,000 --> 00:02:11,840 Alive? 29 00:02:11,840 --> 00:02:13,200 Yeah. 30 00:02:13,200 --> 00:02:14,880 With utmost difficulty, mate. 31 00:02:14,880 --> 00:02:16,120 You reckon? 32 00:02:16,120 --> 00:02:18,760 Are you joking? What are your ideas? 33 00:02:18,760 --> 00:02:22,680 - What's top of your list of ways to catch a live magpie? - A net. 34 00:02:22,680 --> 00:02:24,440 What kind of net? 35 00:02:24,440 --> 00:02:26,800 A big one. Like a landing net. 36 00:02:26,800 --> 00:02:29,280 What, and just creep up on it? 37 00:02:29,280 --> 00:02:32,280 Sit in a hide. Put bait out. 38 00:02:33,400 --> 00:02:35,320 Good luck with that. 39 00:02:35,320 --> 00:02:39,040 What are you going to do once you've caught it? Interrogate it? 40 00:02:39,040 --> 00:02:43,640 I reckon that they're hoarding it all in one place, the gold coins. 41 00:02:43,640 --> 00:02:47,640 So if we could catch a magpie and attach a tracking device or a 42 00:02:47,640 --> 00:02:51,040 camera, get it to take another coin and we could watch where it goes. 43 00:02:52,720 --> 00:02:55,040 I think you might have a urine infection, mate. 44 00:02:55,040 --> 00:02:57,320 You held on to it for too long. 45 00:02:57,320 --> 00:02:59,000 Well, well, 46 00:02:59,000 --> 00:03:01,760 I have to try. 47 00:03:01,760 --> 00:03:04,000 You going up the club Monday? 48 00:03:04,000 --> 00:03:05,640 What's happening? 49 00:03:05,640 --> 00:03:08,720 Varde's giving a talk on the NCP hoard. 50 00:03:08,720 --> 00:03:11,760 - What's NCP stand for? - I don't know. 51 00:03:11,760 --> 00:03:13,880 National Car Parks, isn't it? 52 00:03:13,880 --> 00:03:16,800 - I might be late, I'm working. - You told me you quit your job. 53 00:03:16,800 --> 00:03:20,080 I did. I signed up again with a temping agency. 54 00:03:20,080 --> 00:03:22,680 - Weed killing on the A414. - Nice. 55 00:03:25,080 --> 00:03:28,760 I'm not in till Tuesday, so I thought I might stay here, 56 00:03:28,760 --> 00:03:30,040 guard the place. 57 00:03:31,840 --> 00:03:34,040 You avoiding your flat? 58 00:03:37,160 --> 00:03:38,800 No. 59 00:03:49,120 --> 00:03:51,880 KNOCKS ON GLASS 60 00:03:51,880 --> 00:03:55,080 Hello. Have you come about the boiler? 61 00:03:55,080 --> 00:03:57,680 Erm, I'm looking for Lance. Is he here? 62 00:03:57,680 --> 00:03:59,840 No. Is it about the boiler? 63 00:03:59,840 --> 00:04:02,960 What? No, sorry. Who are you? 64 00:04:02,960 --> 00:04:04,560 I'm Maggie. 65 00:04:04,560 --> 00:04:07,440 Lance's ex. Who are you? 66 00:04:07,440 --> 00:04:10,000 I'm Toni, Lance's...current. 67 00:04:11,440 --> 00:04:12,960 Currant? 68 00:04:12,960 --> 00:04:14,640 What, like a sultana? 69 00:04:14,640 --> 00:04:16,120 No, current, as in... 70 00:04:16,120 --> 00:04:19,480 Oh, my God! Oh, are you Lance's girlfriend? 71 00:04:19,480 --> 00:04:20,920 Oh! 72 00:04:20,920 --> 00:04:23,640 Ha! Oh, I'm so sorry! 73 00:04:23,640 --> 00:04:25,440 I thought you meant like a raisin! 74 00:04:27,840 --> 00:04:30,040 Did he not tell you? 75 00:04:30,040 --> 00:04:35,520 Oh, my God! This must look awful, me standing here in me slippers. 76 00:04:35,520 --> 00:04:38,920 No, he's just letting me stay in his daughter's room while she's away. 77 00:04:38,920 --> 00:04:40,480 Come in! 78 00:04:40,480 --> 00:04:42,480 Come in! 79 00:04:42,480 --> 00:04:44,280 Ah! 80 00:04:46,240 --> 00:04:51,000 - Kate's gone away? - Yeah, she borrowed his car. His little yellow TVR. 81 00:04:51,000 --> 00:04:53,680 While he's off camping or something. 82 00:04:53,680 --> 00:04:56,920 So, you're his girlfriend. 83 00:04:58,680 --> 00:05:00,880 Let's have a look at you. 84 00:05:02,120 --> 00:05:04,320 Ah. 85 00:05:04,320 --> 00:05:06,640 You're not how I thought you'd be. 86 00:05:06,640 --> 00:05:10,120 - I thought you'd be more like, you know... - Like what? 87 00:05:10,120 --> 00:05:12,800 Well, he used to be married to me, so someone more like, 88 00:05:12,800 --> 00:05:16,440 you know, nice clothes, bit of make-up, not so tomboyish. 89 00:05:17,600 --> 00:05:19,840 What's your name again? Trevor? 90 00:05:19,840 --> 00:05:21,760 Toni. 91 00:05:21,760 --> 00:05:23,160 Oh! Ha! 92 00:05:23,160 --> 00:05:25,360 Oh, how funny! 93 00:05:25,360 --> 00:05:29,360 No, you look cute in that. I mean, it wouldn't suit me. 94 00:05:29,360 --> 00:05:33,680 People expect me to have nice clean nails, in my line of work. 95 00:05:33,680 --> 00:05:36,400 - What's your line of work? - I'm an author. - Are you? - Yeah. 96 00:05:40,800 --> 00:05:44,480 Yeah, I've had a bit of a tidy up. Place was in a right state. 97 00:05:44,480 --> 00:05:47,360 He needs someone looking after him, that man. 98 00:05:49,360 --> 00:05:51,080 You a Scorpio? 99 00:05:51,080 --> 00:05:53,040 No. 100 00:05:54,760 --> 00:05:57,320 Do you want me to tell him you were here? 101 00:05:57,320 --> 00:05:59,200 If you want. 102 00:06:05,920 --> 00:06:08,960 - See ya. - DOOR SLAMS 103 00:06:11,160 --> 00:06:13,760 All right, Steve? These the new spares, are they? 104 00:06:13,760 --> 00:06:16,480 Yeah, they're the new ones. You fill the tanks with water? 105 00:06:16,480 --> 00:06:18,200 - Yeah, it's just water in there. - OK. 106 00:06:18,200 --> 00:06:20,840 Well, put half a bottle of that in each tank. 107 00:06:20,840 --> 00:06:23,200 Don't get it on your hands and don't breathe it in. 108 00:06:39,840 --> 00:06:41,840 - All right? - Yeah, that's all done, yeah. 109 00:06:45,240 --> 00:06:47,560 - Don't forget your, um... - Na-ha. 110 00:08:42,000 --> 00:08:45,120 - You need filling up? - Er, yeah. - Yeah, give it here. I'll do it. 111 00:08:45,120 --> 00:08:46,880 Cheers. 112 00:09:21,480 --> 00:09:24,440 SQUAWKS 113 00:09:40,800 --> 00:09:43,040 SQUAWKING 114 00:10:15,920 --> 00:10:19,440 APPLAUSE 115 00:10:27,480 --> 00:10:29,840 Thank you, Varde. 116 00:10:29,840 --> 00:10:33,200 Very interesting talk on a fascinating hoard. 117 00:10:33,200 --> 00:10:35,280 And as ever, with these things, 118 00:10:35,280 --> 00:10:37,920 it throws up more questions than it answers. 119 00:10:37,920 --> 00:10:41,600 I mean, why were so many National Cycling Proficiency badges 120 00:10:41,600 --> 00:10:43,240 buried together? 121 00:10:43,240 --> 00:10:44,680 And by whom? 122 00:10:44,680 --> 00:10:46,720 - Hell's Angels. - Lance Armstrong. 123 00:10:47,880 --> 00:10:51,320 Any other questions for Varde, before she rests her voice? 124 00:10:51,320 --> 00:10:54,280 You must be quite hoarse after that marathon. 125 00:10:54,280 --> 00:10:56,560 No questions? 126 00:10:56,560 --> 00:10:58,440 OK, moving on. Lance. 127 00:10:58,440 --> 00:11:01,640 Have you got any further, tracing your stolen coin? 128 00:11:01,640 --> 00:11:03,440 I've given up with that Teriyaki. 129 00:11:03,440 --> 00:11:06,080 I've been chasing magpies for the last two days. 130 00:11:06,080 --> 00:11:08,000 That's good. 131 00:11:08,000 --> 00:11:10,440 Birdwatching's very good for the soul. 132 00:11:10,440 --> 00:11:11,800 It's calming. 133 00:11:11,800 --> 00:11:14,280 Yeah, not this type of bird-watching, Sheila. 134 00:11:14,280 --> 00:11:17,160 This is angry bird-watching, for monetary gain. 135 00:11:17,160 --> 00:11:20,400 He wanted to catch one and strap a camera to it. 136 00:11:20,400 --> 00:11:21,680 I left a coin there, 137 00:11:21,680 --> 00:11:24,040 but they didn't touch it cos they knew it wasn't gold. 138 00:11:24,040 --> 00:11:26,960 They didn't touch it cos you were sitting next to it with a net. 139 00:11:26,960 --> 00:11:29,640 Actually, Varde had an idea about that, didn't you? 140 00:11:29,640 --> 00:11:32,080 Er, Varde was saying that magpies, you know, 141 00:11:32,080 --> 00:11:35,200 being part of the corvid family, are highly intelligent, so you 142 00:11:35,200 --> 00:11:39,480 could, given time, gain its trust and get it to take things from you. 143 00:11:39,480 --> 00:11:41,640 It's all very well you saying that, Varde. 144 00:11:41,640 --> 00:11:44,840 I haven't got the time to tame a magpie. 145 00:11:44,840 --> 00:11:48,120 We lose that land in three weeks. Honestly! 146 00:11:48,120 --> 00:11:50,040 You're all talk, sometimes! 147 00:11:50,040 --> 00:11:54,360 Are you sure you're not just using this temporary magpie obsession 148 00:11:54,360 --> 00:11:58,200 to block out the difficulties you're having in your private life? 149 00:12:00,000 --> 00:12:02,680 - I was just going to say that. - Me, too. 150 00:12:02,680 --> 00:12:05,600 It seems like you're focusing too much on magpies 151 00:12:05,600 --> 00:12:07,920 and not on your real problems. 152 00:12:13,200 --> 00:12:14,640 No. 153 00:12:14,640 --> 00:12:18,320 Anyway, I'm done with the gold coins and the magpies. 154 00:12:18,320 --> 00:12:22,440 You were right. I'm going to let that one go. 155 00:12:32,040 --> 00:12:34,480 Pint of Stella, please, mate. 156 00:12:37,640 --> 00:12:39,640 Hiya, Toni, love. 157 00:12:39,640 --> 00:12:41,120 Er, it's me. 158 00:12:41,120 --> 00:12:44,520 You haven't been returning my calls, so I was just wondering 159 00:12:44,520 --> 00:12:46,680 if everything's all right. 160 00:12:46,680 --> 00:12:50,560 Anyway, er, give us a ring when you get this message. 161 00:12:50,560 --> 00:12:53,000 Otherwise, I'll probably see you at work. 162 00:12:53,000 --> 00:12:54,480 Bye. 163 00:12:57,000 --> 00:12:58,560 Cheers, Michael. 164 00:13:02,640 --> 00:13:05,400 - Sure I can't tempt anyone to stay? - No, no. 165 00:13:05,400 --> 00:13:08,800 Got to be fresh for Bollywood class in the morning. 166 00:13:08,800 --> 00:13:12,480 - They're his favourite. - Oh, yeah? You like the old Bollywood, do you? 167 00:13:12,480 --> 00:13:14,040 Oh, yes. 168 00:13:14,040 --> 00:13:15,760 He's very good. 169 00:13:15,760 --> 00:13:18,200 He could be in the movies. 170 00:13:18,200 --> 00:13:21,840 If he dyed his moustache and learned to speak Hindi. 171 00:13:21,840 --> 00:13:23,320 Bye, all. 172 00:13:23,320 --> 00:13:25,000 - See ya. - Night. 173 00:13:26,320 --> 00:13:29,520 - You all right? You're going to stay on your own? - Yeah. 174 00:13:29,520 --> 00:13:31,360 I've got my magazine, you know. 175 00:13:31,360 --> 00:13:33,800 And I'm just going to give it another hour, 176 00:13:33,800 --> 00:13:36,240 wait for Mags to go to bed. 177 00:13:36,240 --> 00:13:38,680 Bloody hell, mate. That's no way to live. 178 00:13:38,680 --> 00:13:39,960 Won't be for long. 179 00:13:39,960 --> 00:13:42,280 I'd stay for another, but I've got to be up early. 180 00:13:42,280 --> 00:13:44,440 Pressure hosing chewing gum in Chelmsford. 181 00:13:44,440 --> 00:13:46,160 - Charming. - Cheerio. - Cheers. 182 00:14:04,360 --> 00:14:06,120 - Hi. - Hi. 183 00:14:08,200 --> 00:14:11,840 - Mm! Beer and Scout Hall! - You love it! - I do. 184 00:14:11,840 --> 00:14:13,440 How was the club? 185 00:14:13,440 --> 00:14:17,480 - Same. - I can't imagine what you have to talk about. - Do you meet weekly? 186 00:14:17,480 --> 00:14:19,040 Very weakly, sometimes. 187 00:14:19,040 --> 00:14:21,640 Usually just turns into a therapy session, if I'm honest. 188 00:14:21,640 --> 00:14:23,880 I would love to be a fly on the wall! 189 00:14:23,880 --> 00:14:26,600 - You don't have to be a fly on the wall. You can come along. - No. 190 00:14:26,600 --> 00:14:29,080 Oh, I've found a couple more flats I want to see. 191 00:14:29,080 --> 00:14:32,040 - Are you working tomorrow? - Yeah, afraid so. In Colchester. 192 00:14:32,040 --> 00:14:36,320 - Oh. - Where were you today? - Colchester, the same. - All day? 193 00:14:36,320 --> 00:14:37,480 Till four, yeah. 194 00:14:37,480 --> 00:14:40,440 Andy uncovered a portion of Roman mosaic last week, didn't you? 195 00:14:40,440 --> 00:14:43,040 I did, yeah. We were hoping there was going to be more, 196 00:14:43,040 --> 00:14:45,200 but we only turned up medieval stuff today. 197 00:14:45,200 --> 00:14:49,720 Didn't I see you on the A414? Outside Mornam? 198 00:14:49,720 --> 00:14:53,360 Pardon? No, no, I was in Colchester. 199 00:14:53,360 --> 00:14:55,800 Looked like you, at lunchtime, 200 00:14:55,800 --> 00:14:58,760 spraying the weeds on the hard shoulder. 201 00:14:58,760 --> 00:15:01,040 No, no, I don't know who that could have been. 202 00:15:01,040 --> 00:15:05,200 - Well, if it wasn't you, why would you know who it was? - Exactly. 203 00:15:05,200 --> 00:15:08,160 Yeah, could have been anyone. I'm going to hit the sack. 204 00:15:08,160 --> 00:15:10,760 - Are you coming up? - Yeah, yeah, won't be long. - Night. 205 00:15:20,360 --> 00:15:23,840 - What was that for? - For lying about Kate not taking your car. 206 00:15:23,840 --> 00:15:25,920 Oh. How did you find out? 207 00:15:28,280 --> 00:15:29,800 I came by your flat. 208 00:15:29,800 --> 00:15:32,040 - And the car wasn't there? - No. 209 00:15:32,040 --> 00:15:33,760 Was anyone else there? 210 00:15:33,760 --> 00:15:36,560 Yeah. Your ex-wife Maggie was there. 211 00:15:36,560 --> 00:15:38,920 Oh, right. Listen, I've made a mess... 212 00:15:38,920 --> 00:15:42,960 Look, could you stop throwing potatoes, just for a minute? 213 00:15:42,960 --> 00:15:47,720 - Made a mess of things. I should have told you, but I panicked. - You lied. 214 00:15:47,720 --> 00:15:50,200 I know, but I thought I was doing it for... 215 00:15:50,200 --> 00:15:53,320 Oh! Look, please, stop throwing potatoes at me. 216 00:15:53,320 --> 00:15:55,960 I know I deserve to have potatoes thrown at me, 217 00:15:55,960 --> 00:15:59,720 but it's very hard to concentrate. There's nothing going on between us. 218 00:15:59,720 --> 00:16:01,400 We're not back together. 219 00:16:01,400 --> 00:16:03,760 I never suggested there was anything going on. 220 00:16:03,760 --> 00:16:06,760 If there's one thing I know you're not, Lance, it's a cheat. 221 00:16:06,760 --> 00:16:11,320 - Oh. Well, thanks. - But you're a liar. And a coward. 222 00:16:11,320 --> 00:16:14,840 And those are two of my least favourite character traits. 223 00:16:14,840 --> 00:16:17,960 - I don't usually lie. - No, you just thought you'd try it out on me. 224 00:16:17,960 --> 00:16:21,280 You bastard! Lying is what breaks couples up. Didn't you know that? 225 00:16:21,280 --> 00:16:24,400 - I didn't think. - Another character trait I don't like. 226 00:16:24,400 --> 00:16:27,000 - That's three. - Oh, I'm an idiot. - Four. 227 00:16:32,040 --> 00:16:35,480 For months now, whenever I suggest staying at yours, you say Kate's 228 00:16:35,480 --> 00:16:38,920 there and the place isn't your own and you don't feel comfortable. 229 00:16:38,920 --> 00:16:41,200 I've never said I felt uncomfortable. 230 00:16:41,200 --> 00:16:43,280 I just wanted to spend some time with you. 231 00:16:43,280 --> 00:16:46,040 But the moment your ex turns up, you give Kate your car keys, 232 00:16:46,040 --> 00:16:49,160 say make yourself scarce, and the ex gets invited to stay. 233 00:16:49,160 --> 00:16:52,880 - I couldn't turn her away, could I? - You turn me away on a regular basis. 234 00:16:52,880 --> 00:16:56,840 - Right, I'm going to tell her. She has to go. - Do what you want. 235 00:16:56,840 --> 00:16:59,560 Mags... 236 00:16:59,560 --> 00:17:01,200 My name's Toni, for fuck's sake! 237 00:18:28,480 --> 00:18:30,640 How long have you been waiting there? 238 00:18:30,640 --> 00:18:33,560 - Two days? - No, I heard you coming. 239 00:18:33,560 --> 00:18:37,560 - You don't need to rev so hard when you're changing up. - Shut up, Dad. 240 00:18:37,560 --> 00:18:40,480 I wasn't expecting you back today. 241 00:18:40,480 --> 00:18:43,800 Came home early. That's OK, isn't it? 242 00:18:45,720 --> 00:18:49,640 - So, how was she? - She was grand. 243 00:18:49,640 --> 00:18:51,760 I love her. She smells of the '70s. 244 00:18:53,440 --> 00:18:56,040 Although I did back her into a post and broke a light. 245 00:18:59,040 --> 00:19:02,920 - I'm kidding. - Oh! You had me going there! - Actually, I'm not kidding. 246 00:19:02,920 --> 00:19:05,720 I did break a light. I don't know why I said I didn't. 247 00:19:05,720 --> 00:19:08,440 I just felt like you wanted me to say it, so I did. 248 00:19:08,440 --> 00:19:10,840 - So you have broke a light or you haven't? - I have. 249 00:19:10,840 --> 00:19:15,600 I'm sorry. One of the back ones. I'm so sorry. I will get it fixed. 250 00:19:17,800 --> 00:19:22,760 - Doesn't matter. It's only a car. - No, please, don't be heartbroken. 251 00:19:22,760 --> 00:19:24,400 I thought you'd be angry. 252 00:19:24,400 --> 00:19:26,600 I thought I'd be the one saying it's only a car. 253 00:19:26,600 --> 00:19:28,600 Yeah, it's just one more thing, really. 254 00:19:28,600 --> 00:19:30,320 They say bad luck comes in eights. 255 00:19:31,480 --> 00:19:35,680 - Did you not have a nice time without me? - Unforeseen circumstances. 256 00:19:35,680 --> 00:19:39,200 - I messed up a bit, upset Toni. - Oh, you're kidding. 257 00:19:39,200 --> 00:19:41,160 My ex-wife Maggie showed up. 258 00:19:41,160 --> 00:19:45,960 - THAT was your ex-wife? Oh, my God! I let her in the flat. - Oh, no. 259 00:19:45,960 --> 00:19:49,520 I had to let her stay anyway cos she's split up with her partner 260 00:19:49,520 --> 00:19:53,840 and she was pretty cut up, so I let her sleep in your room. 261 00:19:53,840 --> 00:19:55,240 So you didn't even see Toni. 262 00:19:56,360 --> 00:19:57,920 No. 263 00:19:59,800 --> 00:20:01,600 I'm sure you could patch it up. 264 00:20:01,600 --> 00:20:03,320 If she really means that much to you. 265 00:20:03,320 --> 00:20:05,920 Yeah, there's a Triumph specialist in Boughton. 266 00:20:05,920 --> 00:20:07,840 He's bound to have one in stock. 267 00:20:07,840 --> 00:20:11,040 - I meant Toni. - Anyway, there's no rush. 268 00:20:11,040 --> 00:20:14,640 As long as I get to him this afternoon before he shuts at four. 269 00:20:14,640 --> 00:20:17,480 Actually, you know, I'd better get on with it. 270 00:21:17,280 --> 00:21:20,120 Oh, I was thinking about what you said yesterday 271 00:21:20,120 --> 00:21:22,520 and I think I know where you might have seen me. 272 00:21:22,520 --> 00:21:25,880 We did stop off in the afternoon to survey another site. 273 00:21:25,880 --> 00:21:28,680 In Waldon. 274 00:21:28,680 --> 00:21:32,480 Yeah, I remember now. I know. Those weren't sprayers you saw us with. 275 00:21:32,480 --> 00:21:35,440 It was surveying equipment, measuring sticks. 276 00:21:35,440 --> 00:21:38,480 Oh, don't tell lies. Do you think I'm stupid? 277 00:21:38,480 --> 00:21:43,280 I know what I saw and it wasn't you being an archaeologist, 278 00:21:43,280 --> 00:21:49,120 but an agency worker spraying weedkiller on the hard shoulder. 279 00:21:49,120 --> 00:21:51,120 What's going on, Andy? 280 00:21:51,120 --> 00:21:54,720 It was just water, actually. I didn't put the weedkiller in. 281 00:21:54,720 --> 00:21:56,520 What IS going on? 282 00:22:02,240 --> 00:22:05,440 - I quit my job. - Quit or lost? - Quit. 283 00:22:05,440 --> 00:22:06,840 It was a scam. 284 00:22:06,840 --> 00:22:09,800 I did find a mosaic and I'm pretty sure there was more of it, 285 00:22:09,800 --> 00:22:13,120 but it was scraped away in the night before I had a chance to find out. 286 00:22:13,120 --> 00:22:16,080 Because anything interesting found would just delay 287 00:22:16,080 --> 00:22:18,240 construction of this office block. 288 00:22:18,240 --> 00:22:20,760 So then you quit for the right reasons. 289 00:22:20,760 --> 00:22:22,880 Thanks. 290 00:22:22,880 --> 00:22:25,840 So what makes you think my daughter wouldn't understand? 291 00:22:25,840 --> 00:22:28,040 Well, because she wants to buy a flat 292 00:22:28,040 --> 00:22:31,520 and she's worried about Stan's schooling and I think she'd 293 00:22:31,520 --> 00:22:35,120 rather I just bit my tongue for a while, until we can afford a home. 294 00:22:35,120 --> 00:22:36,720 I think you'll find that ethics 295 00:22:36,720 --> 00:22:41,280 and principles stand pretty high on my daughter's agenda. 296 00:22:41,280 --> 00:22:44,120 Yeah, I know. I didn't mean... 297 00:22:44,120 --> 00:22:47,080 I'm just very aware that, after all those years studying, 298 00:22:47,080 --> 00:22:50,840 I'm not making much of a success of being an archaeologist. 299 00:22:50,840 --> 00:22:53,520 Well, maybe you're not an archaeologist. 300 00:22:53,520 --> 00:22:55,760 Maybe you're more of a...hobbyist. 301 00:22:58,080 --> 00:23:01,200 Can't make any money from hobbies. That's why they're hobbies. 302 00:23:01,200 --> 00:23:03,640 Maybe you're not a money-maker, either. 303 00:23:03,640 --> 00:23:05,400 What a guy(!) 304 00:23:06,560 --> 00:23:08,160 Sorry for lying. 305 00:23:23,000 --> 00:23:25,520 FOOTSTEPS 306 00:23:25,520 --> 00:23:27,960 FRONT DOOR CLOSES 307 00:23:41,520 --> 00:23:46,200 SHE HUMS A TUNE 308 00:23:57,520 --> 00:23:59,200 What are you looking for? 309 00:23:59,200 --> 00:24:02,000 Oh, my God! You made me jump. 310 00:24:02,000 --> 00:24:04,360 - What are you doing, sitting there? - This is my room. 311 00:24:04,360 --> 00:24:06,720 I thought you weren't coming back till tomorrow. 312 00:24:06,720 --> 00:24:09,520 Well... 313 00:24:09,520 --> 00:24:12,480 I was just looking for Lance's TV licence. 314 00:24:12,480 --> 00:24:15,840 - Do you know where he keeps his TV licence? - It's not in there. 315 00:24:15,840 --> 00:24:18,280 - Is it not? - No. 316 00:24:19,480 --> 00:24:22,280 - You angry? - I'm a little bit angry, yeah. - Aw. 317 00:24:23,400 --> 00:24:25,680 Don't be silly. Come and have a cup of tea. 318 00:24:27,200 --> 00:24:30,520 God, you made me jump! Did you have a nice time? 319 00:24:30,520 --> 00:24:32,920 I can't believe he lent you his car. 320 00:24:32,920 --> 00:24:34,920 He never used to let me go near that thing. 321 00:24:34,920 --> 00:24:36,160 Not to drive it, anyway. 322 00:24:37,960 --> 00:24:40,760 Oh, I always hated getting in and out of that car. 323 00:24:40,760 --> 00:24:43,760 I could never do it without flashing my knickers. 324 00:24:43,760 --> 00:24:45,240 How long are you staying for? 325 00:24:45,240 --> 00:24:47,520 Not long. Just until I sort myself out. 326 00:24:47,520 --> 00:24:49,920 - You do know he's got a girlfriend, don't you? - Yeah. 327 00:24:49,920 --> 00:24:53,640 I met the current. She's a funny little thing, ain't she? 328 00:24:53,640 --> 00:24:57,200 - What are you doing here, Maggie? - Oh, dear. 329 00:24:57,200 --> 00:25:00,800 You a little bit jealous? Yeah? 330 00:25:00,800 --> 00:25:02,880 Have I upset your cushy little number? 331 00:25:02,880 --> 00:25:05,800 Cos you must have it pretty easy here, I suppose. 332 00:25:05,800 --> 00:25:07,760 Treat the place like your own. 333 00:25:07,760 --> 00:25:10,040 Cos it was a right shithole when I arrived. 334 00:25:10,040 --> 00:25:13,640 - What are you after? - I'm not after anything, love. 335 00:25:13,640 --> 00:25:16,160 You're the one taking the piss. 336 00:25:16,160 --> 00:25:18,920 I don't suppose Lance has ever told you about us, has he? 337 00:25:18,920 --> 00:25:21,200 Yeah, he told me you left him for an arsehole. 338 00:25:21,200 --> 00:25:25,000 - Did he call him an arsehole? - I think he did, yeah. - That's rude. 339 00:25:25,000 --> 00:25:27,320 So, what is it I need to know about you and my dad? 340 00:25:27,320 --> 00:25:29,080 That we still have a deep connection. 341 00:25:29,080 --> 00:25:31,480 And we'll always be there for one another. 342 00:25:31,480 --> 00:25:34,600 - He hadn't mentioned that, no. - We have a spiritual bond, 343 00:25:34,600 --> 00:25:37,640 forged at a Pagan ceremony at Avebury standing stones. 344 00:25:37,640 --> 00:25:40,000 He kept that one to himself, too. 345 00:25:40,000 --> 00:25:43,760 I know what Lance wants. I know what Lance needs. 346 00:25:49,880 --> 00:25:51,960 TEXT ALERT 347 00:26:01,160 --> 00:26:02,680 Oi! 348 00:26:02,680 --> 00:26:05,440 Lollipop! Message from the arsehole! 349 00:26:09,000 --> 00:26:12,520 I reckon about ten minutes, 15, 350 00:26:12,520 --> 00:26:16,680 for you to get your spells and your potions out of my room 351 00:26:16,680 --> 00:26:19,320 and your boney arse out of my dad's life. 352 00:26:26,120 --> 00:26:28,080 Boney arse? 353 00:26:28,080 --> 00:26:29,240 Yeah. 354 00:26:29,240 --> 00:26:30,760 Apparently. 355 00:26:30,760 --> 00:26:32,800 That's from Working Girl. 356 00:26:32,800 --> 00:26:35,280 That's what I said. 357 00:26:35,280 --> 00:26:37,120 Melanie Griffith. 358 00:26:37,120 --> 00:26:39,440 What did the text say? 359 00:26:39,440 --> 00:26:42,560 Well, she wouldn't tell me, only that it was him, you know. 360 00:26:42,560 --> 00:26:44,440 Pizza Hut manager. 361 00:26:44,440 --> 00:26:47,160 - And she's gone now, Maggie? - Yeah, again. 362 00:26:49,320 --> 00:26:51,840 Just got to patch things up with Toni. 363 00:26:53,960 --> 00:26:56,640 Connect 4. Did you bring games? 364 00:26:57,920 --> 00:27:00,160 While away the hours. 365 00:27:07,440 --> 00:27:09,080 Where did you get the Kerplunk? 366 00:27:09,080 --> 00:27:11,560 Charity shop. 367 00:27:11,560 --> 00:27:14,040 You know, there isn't a single charity shop that 368 00:27:14,040 --> 00:27:16,040 doesn't have a Kerplunk. 369 00:27:16,040 --> 00:27:19,160 You should check it out. They can't shift them. 370 00:27:19,160 --> 00:27:23,240 There's a Sue Ryder in Colchester, there's a sign in the window - 371 00:27:23,240 --> 00:27:26,200 "no Kerplunks, thank you!" 372 00:27:26,200 --> 00:27:28,760 Cos it takes too long to put the sticks back in. 373 00:27:30,640 --> 00:27:34,480 If you take the time, the rewards are obvious. 374 00:27:39,800 --> 00:27:42,720 Of course, it should really be on a level playing surface. 375 00:27:44,880 --> 00:27:46,400 Your go. 376 00:27:49,560 --> 00:27:51,960 - MARBLES RATTLE - Balls!