1 00:00:02,000 --> 00:00:05,080 This programme contains some strong language 2 00:00:05,080 --> 00:00:06,560 What you got? 3 00:00:06,560 --> 00:00:07,880 Bloody hell. 4 00:00:07,880 --> 00:00:09,720 - Is that? - Blimey, mate. 5 00:00:10,720 --> 00:00:12,000 Let me see. 6 00:00:13,320 --> 00:00:15,040 That is beautiful. 7 00:00:15,040 --> 00:00:16,480 ANDY LAUGHS 8 00:00:16,480 --> 00:00:18,640 Is that what I think it is? 9 00:00:18,640 --> 00:00:20,120 It's ruddy spearhead, mate. 10 00:00:20,120 --> 00:00:21,760 It's in incredible condition. 11 00:00:21,760 --> 00:00:23,320 Medieval? 12 00:00:23,320 --> 00:00:25,520 Well, earlier, I'd say, I don't know. 13 00:00:25,520 --> 00:00:27,720 - Could it be Roman? - Unbelievable. 14 00:00:27,720 --> 00:00:29,120 You got some water to clean it? 15 00:00:29,120 --> 00:00:30,760 Er... 16 00:00:30,760 --> 00:00:32,720 Well, there's a water tank over there. 17 00:00:43,760 --> 00:00:46,000 HE LAUGHS 18 00:01:06,120 --> 00:01:08,280 No, I knew there was something fishy going on. 19 00:01:08,280 --> 00:01:10,320 You bloody liar. You nearly wet yourself. 20 00:01:10,320 --> 00:01:12,280 You said it was in incredible condition. 21 00:01:12,280 --> 00:01:16,160 Well, exactly. It was the condition told me something was wrong. 22 00:01:16,160 --> 00:01:17,520 There was no age to it. 23 00:01:17,520 --> 00:01:19,240 God, I wish I hadn't seen the railings, 24 00:01:19,240 --> 00:01:20,920 then I'd still have a spearhead. 25 00:01:20,920 --> 00:01:25,040 Well, now you know how it feels to have your treasure snatched 26 00:01:25,040 --> 00:01:28,640 away so cruelly from right under your nose. 27 00:01:28,640 --> 00:01:30,080 Feels like crap. 28 00:01:31,680 --> 00:01:33,520 Wait a minute. 29 00:01:33,520 --> 00:01:35,520 It's the same, isn't it? 30 00:01:35,520 --> 00:01:38,680 - What's the same as what? - The same as me losing my gold coin. 31 00:01:38,680 --> 00:01:40,280 Not even nearly the same. 32 00:01:40,280 --> 00:01:42,640 That's a sign, a clue. 33 00:01:42,640 --> 00:01:45,120 Are you building up to one of your bits of mystic wisdom? 34 00:01:46,800 --> 00:01:49,640 There's something about karma going on. 35 00:01:51,360 --> 00:01:54,360 Not going to get in any book of quotations with that, mate. 36 00:01:54,360 --> 00:01:55,880 ANDY EXHALES 37 00:02:00,880 --> 00:02:03,840 The thing is, we have to redress the balance. 38 00:02:03,840 --> 00:02:06,080 Get our own back on those idiots. 39 00:02:07,680 --> 00:02:09,720 It's all a question of karma. 40 00:02:09,720 --> 00:02:12,560 When I think about karma I see it as a good thing. 41 00:02:12,560 --> 00:02:15,880 Like if you do something nice something nice will happen to you. 42 00:02:15,880 --> 00:02:17,720 But you see it as a tool for revenge. 43 00:02:18,720 --> 00:02:20,680 Well, what do you suggest? 44 00:02:20,680 --> 00:02:23,720 Just let them on the land, for God's sake. Let everyone in. 45 00:02:23,720 --> 00:02:25,200 Get a band. Have a festival. 46 00:02:25,200 --> 00:02:28,760 You lose the farm in a few days anyway, don't you? 47 00:02:28,760 --> 00:02:31,280 Yeah, but what if one of them finds my hoard? 48 00:02:31,280 --> 00:02:33,680 Then at least it will have been found. 49 00:02:33,680 --> 00:02:37,160 Anyway, I thought you said his detector was an antique. 50 00:02:37,160 --> 00:02:40,000 It is. It's a twat's detector. 51 00:02:40,000 --> 00:02:42,640 There you go again, being mean. 52 00:02:42,640 --> 00:02:44,400 Stop being a bully. 53 00:02:44,400 --> 00:02:46,840 Just play nicely with the other detectorists 54 00:02:46,840 --> 00:02:49,360 and then nice things will start to happen. 55 00:02:51,280 --> 00:02:53,840 Woohoo! My very own ship! 56 00:02:55,040 --> 00:02:58,400 - It's a boat. - No. I've upgraded it. Today it's a ship. 57 00:02:58,400 --> 00:02:59,440 Come on, Dad. 58 00:03:01,960 --> 00:03:03,320 Here. 59 00:03:07,360 --> 00:03:08,880 Here you are. 60 00:03:08,880 --> 00:03:10,880 I don't know if I, er... 61 00:03:10,880 --> 00:03:13,600 Oh, Dad, please just have a glass of wine. 62 00:03:13,600 --> 00:03:15,320 Yeah. 63 00:03:15,320 --> 00:03:17,560 Water looks a bit choppy today. 64 00:03:18,840 --> 00:03:22,080 It's like a mirror, what are you talking about? It'll be fine. 65 00:03:24,680 --> 00:03:26,320 Here. 66 00:03:33,280 --> 00:03:34,880 - Cheers! - Cheers! - GLASSES CLINK 67 00:03:36,320 --> 00:03:38,040 Cheers. 68 00:03:38,040 --> 00:03:39,480 See, it's not so bad, is it? 69 00:03:39,480 --> 00:03:41,480 No. Not so bad. 70 00:03:48,640 --> 00:03:50,320 Look at these two, Mum. 71 00:03:50,320 --> 00:03:52,080 BECKY LAUGHS 72 00:03:53,640 --> 00:03:55,280 Do you see what they're making? 73 00:03:55,280 --> 00:03:56,400 A house. 74 00:03:56,400 --> 00:03:58,480 Well, it's the house we went to see. 75 00:03:58,480 --> 00:04:01,000 He can't stop thinking about it. 76 00:04:01,000 --> 00:04:02,960 He needs a place of his own. 77 00:04:02,960 --> 00:04:04,360 I know. 78 00:04:04,360 --> 00:04:08,160 He's been making homes for hedgehogs and putting up bat boxes. 79 00:04:08,160 --> 00:04:10,760 Some sort of nesting instinct kicking in. 80 00:04:13,040 --> 00:04:14,600 When's the auction? 81 00:04:14,600 --> 00:04:16,120 Sunday. 82 00:04:16,120 --> 00:04:18,480 - Are you thinking of going along? - I don't know what else to do. 83 00:04:18,480 --> 00:04:21,080 He's got it in his head we're going to win it. 84 00:04:21,080 --> 00:04:23,960 I'm worried when we don't it's going to hit him hard. 85 00:04:34,760 --> 00:04:36,200 This is a big moment for me, 86 00:04:36,200 --> 00:04:39,040 because as you all know I have been working on this 87 00:04:39,040 --> 00:04:40,320 for a long time. 88 00:04:40,320 --> 00:04:42,080 And there were moments on the journey 89 00:04:42,080 --> 00:04:45,920 when I was quite despairing of ever getting this far. 90 00:04:45,920 --> 00:04:49,160 And there is only one person to thank for getting me through those 91 00:04:49,160 --> 00:04:53,480 dark days and that is, of course, my own darling Sheila, without whom... 92 00:04:53,480 --> 00:04:55,840 Oh, come on, Terry, just show us, never mind the speeches. 93 00:04:55,840 --> 00:04:57,360 We all know how great Sheila is. 94 00:04:57,360 --> 00:04:59,640 Yeah, come on, have you got her there? Let's have a look. 95 00:04:59,640 --> 00:05:03,280 Let me just explain that this only the proof copy. 96 00:05:03,280 --> 00:05:05,920 The actual finished product will have a much better... 97 00:05:05,920 --> 00:05:07,680 Just show us! 98 00:05:07,680 --> 00:05:10,040 Terry Cloth, Terry Cloth, Terry Cloth! 99 00:05:10,040 --> 00:05:11,840 THEY ALL CHANT 100 00:05:11,840 --> 00:05:14,080 Yeah, yeah. All right, all right, all right, all right. 101 00:05:14,080 --> 00:05:15,560 Ladies and gentlemen, I give you 102 00:05:15,560 --> 00:05:20,360 Common Buttons of North West Essex by Terence Seymour. 103 00:05:20,360 --> 00:05:22,280 CHEERING AND APPLAUSE 104 00:05:22,280 --> 00:05:23,640 ANDY WHISTLES 105 00:05:23,640 --> 00:05:25,560 Woo! 106 00:05:25,560 --> 00:05:29,600 I'm not expecting to make the New York Times best seller list, obviously. 107 00:05:29,600 --> 00:05:31,200 Would be nice, but, erm... 108 00:05:31,200 --> 00:05:33,760 Well, the Co-op on Emsdale Road say they're 109 00:05:33,760 --> 00:05:38,000 going to stock a few copies, so we'll take it from there, see how it goes. 110 00:05:38,000 --> 00:05:40,160 What's the print run on this, Terry? 111 00:05:40,160 --> 00:05:41,800 An initial print run of 45. 112 00:05:42,880 --> 00:05:44,360 - Thousand? - No, 45. 113 00:05:44,360 --> 00:05:46,160 So, there'll be one for each of you 114 00:05:46,160 --> 00:05:48,720 and a bunch left over the for the general public. 115 00:05:48,720 --> 00:05:50,720 - Will you sign mine? - Certainly will, young Hugh. 116 00:05:50,720 --> 00:05:53,400 In fact I'll probably sign all the first editions. 117 00:05:53,400 --> 00:05:56,240 Could you leave mine blank then? It'll be worth more. 118 00:05:56,240 --> 00:05:58,120 He could be the next JK Rowling. 119 00:05:59,560 --> 00:06:03,280 Well, I doubt it'll spawn a movie franchise and a theme park, darling. 120 00:06:04,480 --> 00:06:05,960 Button World. 121 00:06:05,960 --> 00:06:07,320 I'd go. 122 00:06:07,320 --> 00:06:09,720 Mmm. Yeah, it does sound like a good day out, admittedly. 123 00:06:09,720 --> 00:06:13,160 Speaking of a good day out, Lance and I have got a proposition. 124 00:06:13,160 --> 00:06:15,920 You know we're losing our permission on Monday, well 125 00:06:15,920 --> 00:06:17,480 we've decided it's time to open it up. 126 00:06:17,480 --> 00:06:20,320 Get everyone down there for the last day and blitz the place. 127 00:06:20,320 --> 00:06:22,520 See what there is to be found before it's covered over. 128 00:06:22,520 --> 00:06:25,960 About bloody time. What, you think there's still more to find? 129 00:06:25,960 --> 00:06:28,360 Who knows, Terry, but we could do with your help. 130 00:06:28,360 --> 00:06:30,560 Well, it's going to be a nice day on Sunday. 131 00:06:30,560 --> 00:06:32,200 It is. Yeah. 132 00:06:32,200 --> 00:06:35,440 And guess what I took delivery of this very morning? 133 00:06:35,440 --> 00:06:38,640 - What? - Brand spanking new gazebo. 134 00:06:38,640 --> 00:06:41,200 - How big? - Three metres by nine. 135 00:06:42,200 --> 00:06:44,080 - Phew! - Bring it along, Terrilium, 136 00:06:44,080 --> 00:06:46,640 and we can stick the finds table underneath. 137 00:06:46,640 --> 00:06:48,280 You could shift a few books. 138 00:06:48,280 --> 00:06:50,520 Well, you heard the man. These boys need our help. 139 00:06:50,520 --> 00:06:52,120 Full turnout, no excuses. 140 00:06:52,120 --> 00:06:53,640 There is just one thing. 141 00:06:55,040 --> 00:06:56,680 We may not be the only ones there. 142 00:07:18,320 --> 00:07:20,040 Bloody hell. This is grim. 143 00:07:21,920 --> 00:07:25,400 We-e-elly, welly, well, well, well. 144 00:07:26,800 --> 00:07:29,160 Look who's come crawling back. 145 00:07:29,160 --> 00:07:30,360 I can't do this. 146 00:07:30,360 --> 00:07:31,400 Wait. 147 00:07:33,160 --> 00:07:37,920 Look who it is. It's the Danebury Metal Detecting Club. 148 00:07:37,920 --> 00:07:39,640 HE LAUGHS 149 00:07:39,640 --> 00:07:41,720 - That is our name. - I know. 150 00:07:43,200 --> 00:07:46,320 You were saying it like you were making up some funny name for us. 151 00:07:46,320 --> 00:07:49,720 Oh, if I were to make up a funny name for you it would be a 152 00:07:49,720 --> 00:07:52,360 hell of a lot funnier than that, believe you me. 153 00:07:52,360 --> 00:07:53,840 Would it? 154 00:07:53,840 --> 00:07:55,240 Oh, yes. 155 00:07:56,400 --> 00:07:59,400 You said you could get a preservation order put on that tree. 156 00:07:59,400 --> 00:08:01,200 Mmm, well that's the trick, isn't it? 157 00:08:01,200 --> 00:08:03,280 Tree preservation orders don't just... 158 00:08:04,920 --> 00:08:08,200 ..materialise. We have made quite clear our demands. 159 00:08:08,200 --> 00:08:10,360 Nice to see you apply the same ethics to your bat 160 00:08:10,360 --> 00:08:13,040 conservation as you do to your metal detecting. 161 00:08:13,040 --> 00:08:15,760 You're not interested in bats. 162 00:08:15,760 --> 00:08:17,560 Why do you want to save that tree? 163 00:08:17,560 --> 00:08:20,560 And what have you found in that field that you're guarding it 164 00:08:20,560 --> 00:08:21,680 so closely? 165 00:08:21,680 --> 00:08:23,400 Well, if you help us we'll tell you. 166 00:08:24,840 --> 00:08:26,280 We can detect on the field? 167 00:08:26,280 --> 00:08:28,680 For one day. The last day before we lose it. 168 00:08:30,000 --> 00:08:32,360 The entire field, just the two of us, for the whole day? 169 00:08:32,360 --> 00:08:34,360 Now, that we cannot agree to. 170 00:08:34,360 --> 00:08:38,240 This time we're going to do it properly. No more sneaking about. 171 00:08:39,280 --> 00:08:42,560 We're going to hold a rally with a 5 entrance fee, and at the end 172 00:08:42,560 --> 00:08:46,640 of the day we'll donate that money to your bat conservation charity. 173 00:08:47,680 --> 00:08:49,280 If you can save that tree. 174 00:08:50,680 --> 00:08:52,600 - What, a proper organised rally? - Yeah. 175 00:08:52,600 --> 00:08:55,240 That's the deal, and we'll get the County Finds Liaison Officer 176 00:08:55,240 --> 00:08:57,720 down to record everything so it's all above board. 177 00:08:57,720 --> 00:09:00,600 Take it or leave it. That's our final offer. 178 00:09:00,600 --> 00:09:04,080 Will there be a barbecue? I heard sometimes they have a barbecue. 179 00:09:04,080 --> 00:09:05,720 Er... Well... 180 00:09:05,720 --> 00:09:08,960 Yeah, if the weather's nice. 181 00:09:08,960 --> 00:09:11,480 And will there be a...gazebo? 182 00:09:13,160 --> 00:09:15,360 There will be a gazebo, yeah. Terry's got a new gazebo. 183 00:09:15,360 --> 00:09:19,240 A new one? Well, we can maybe come down early and help set that up. 184 00:09:21,080 --> 00:09:22,480 You could if you wanted. 185 00:09:22,480 --> 00:09:24,320 The thing is, er... 186 00:09:25,480 --> 00:09:27,600 - We're not, um... - We haven't got. 187 00:09:27,600 --> 00:09:28,720 What is it? 188 00:09:30,440 --> 00:09:33,480 We're not currently members of the National Council 189 00:09:33,480 --> 00:09:35,440 for Metal Detecting. 190 00:09:35,440 --> 00:09:37,720 Oh. I see. 191 00:09:39,000 --> 00:09:42,320 It's been tough the last few years with... 192 00:09:42,320 --> 00:09:44,480 After the, er, the troubles... 193 00:09:45,640 --> 00:09:47,840 ..it's been very difficult to get references. 194 00:09:49,280 --> 00:09:53,520 Well, I guess we could make you honorary DMDC members for the day? 195 00:09:53,520 --> 00:09:55,000 Mmm. Don't see why not. 196 00:09:57,200 --> 00:10:00,400 Oh! Well, that would be nice. 197 00:10:00,400 --> 00:10:02,120 I mean, that sounds good. 198 00:10:02,120 --> 00:10:03,760 - HE COUGHS - Paul, can you...? 199 00:10:06,360 --> 00:10:08,640 Oh, do you, do you need a little tissue? 200 00:10:08,640 --> 00:10:10,120 Yes, please. 201 00:10:11,280 --> 00:10:12,720 Help yourself. 202 00:10:14,000 --> 00:10:15,160 Yes, thanks. 203 00:10:25,160 --> 00:10:26,880 And definitely no-one can touch it? 204 00:10:26,880 --> 00:10:30,360 Not for six months. By which time you'll have bats in your boxes. 205 00:10:31,720 --> 00:10:34,320 You said there was going to be a rally. 206 00:10:34,320 --> 00:10:36,040 Is there still going to be a rally? 207 00:10:38,160 --> 00:10:39,640 Here they come. 208 00:10:43,120 --> 00:10:45,000 APPROACHING ENGINES 209 00:11:05,480 --> 00:11:07,120 I'll see you in a minute, darling. 210 00:11:13,600 --> 00:11:15,240 I hear you're good with gazebos? 211 00:11:17,000 --> 00:11:19,520 Well, it's been a while. 212 00:11:19,520 --> 00:11:22,440 No matter. We can always use a hand. 213 00:11:22,440 --> 00:11:24,640 Hurry up, now, we've got a gazebo to erect. 214 00:11:24,640 --> 00:11:27,160 And we don't have all day to do it. 215 00:11:32,000 --> 00:11:33,640 And strut joint E to strut B... 216 00:11:42,320 --> 00:11:44,240 Up. 217 00:11:44,240 --> 00:11:46,320 ALL GRUNT 218 00:11:47,680 --> 00:11:49,240 Steady! 219 00:12:19,360 --> 00:12:20,720 Lance. 220 00:12:20,720 --> 00:12:23,240 Oh! Thank you, Sheila. 221 00:12:51,200 --> 00:12:55,240 Glorious day to be here, as we say farewell to a long loved 222 00:12:55,240 --> 00:12:59,960 and, I understand, recently productive permission. 223 00:12:59,960 --> 00:13:04,080 Thank you to Lance and Andy for opening it up for us all. 224 00:13:04,080 --> 00:13:07,600 And welcome to our new friends, Paul and Phil. 225 00:13:08,760 --> 00:13:12,000 APPLAUSE 226 00:13:12,000 --> 00:13:14,240 Chaps, what can you tell us? 227 00:13:14,240 --> 00:13:17,240 Thank you, Terrilee. 228 00:13:17,240 --> 00:13:20,680 Well, folks, we think we've got a Roman burial, 229 00:13:20,680 --> 00:13:22,440 or the remains thereof. 230 00:13:22,440 --> 00:13:25,480 We found parts of a cremation urn, 231 00:13:25,480 --> 00:13:29,960 parts of another pot and various contemporary artefacts, including 232 00:13:29,960 --> 00:13:35,280 the infamous gold Septimius Severus, which was found on this very spot. 233 00:13:35,280 --> 00:13:39,520 Yeah, mainly concentrated in this area here, up this end, 234 00:13:39,520 --> 00:13:43,400 but Roman coming up all over this field and beyond, so... 235 00:13:43,400 --> 00:13:46,520 So, loads of land to choose from, ladies and gents. 236 00:13:46,520 --> 00:13:50,520 Coils to the soil, have a great day's detecting. 237 00:13:50,520 --> 00:13:51,880 CHEERING 238 00:14:02,880 --> 00:14:05,520 Guys, guys, can we spread out a bit? 239 00:14:08,360 --> 00:14:09,680 Guys? 240 00:14:09,680 --> 00:14:11,520 GUYS! 241 00:14:11,520 --> 00:14:13,560 GUYS! Look... 242 00:14:13,560 --> 00:14:17,040 Can we all spread out a bit? Look at yourselves. Come on. 243 00:14:17,040 --> 00:14:21,160 Move out a bit. Come on. Shoo! Go on. Yee-ha! Go on! 244 00:14:22,360 --> 00:14:25,360 Yee-ha! Go on, get out! 245 00:14:51,960 --> 00:14:55,440 Ah. I knew you wouldn't be able to resist. 246 00:14:55,440 --> 00:14:57,600 I thought I'd better come and see what it's all about, 247 00:14:57,600 --> 00:14:59,640 find out what I'm sharing you with. 248 00:14:59,640 --> 00:15:05,120 Well, prepare to be transported into a world of wonder and adventure. 249 00:15:05,120 --> 00:15:07,120 Righto! Have you found anything? 250 00:15:07,120 --> 00:15:09,160 Hey, Toni, how's it going? 251 00:15:09,160 --> 00:15:12,360 Mate, I've left my stuff up by the tree, I'll be back in an hour. 252 00:15:12,360 --> 00:15:14,080 - Don't find anything. - Where are you going? 253 00:15:14,080 --> 00:15:17,120 Just nipping off to buy a house. You need anything? 254 00:15:17,120 --> 00:15:19,160 Uh, no, you're OK. Cheers. 255 00:15:20,760 --> 00:15:24,920 Oh! Decide on your price and stick to it. 256 00:15:40,160 --> 00:15:43,000 So, with the money from your car that's 15 grand, we've got, tops? 257 00:15:43,000 --> 00:15:44,520 Yep. 258 00:15:44,520 --> 00:15:46,280 All right. We'll just see how it goes. 259 00:15:46,280 --> 00:15:47,880 If we get it, we get it. If not... 260 00:15:49,080 --> 00:15:50,560 - Yeah. - Let me do the bidding. 261 00:15:50,560 --> 00:15:52,880 - Really? - Yeah, I know how to do it. 262 00:15:52,880 --> 00:15:55,160 You hold up the card to raise the bid a 1,000 263 00:15:55,160 --> 00:15:57,000 and then you do that to raise it 500. 264 00:15:58,760 --> 00:16:00,640 You think you can handle it? 265 00:16:00,640 --> 00:16:03,120 I don't mean to brag, darling, but I've been watching these 266 00:16:03,120 --> 00:16:05,240 programmes for years while you've been at work. 267 00:16:05,240 --> 00:16:06,720 I think I know what I'm doing. 268 00:16:20,600 --> 00:16:22,360 - Have you got the card? - What card? 269 00:16:22,360 --> 00:16:24,720 The card with the number on that you wave to bid. 270 00:16:24,720 --> 00:16:25,920 Where do we get the card? 271 00:16:25,920 --> 00:16:27,520 I don't think we need that card. 272 00:16:27,520 --> 00:16:30,200 Are you sure? The ones on YouTube usually have a card. 273 00:16:54,840 --> 00:16:56,520 They've all got cards, I knew it. 274 00:16:57,800 --> 00:17:01,320 Excuse me, are we supposed to have a card with a number on it? 275 00:17:01,320 --> 00:17:02,360 To wave? 276 00:17:11,960 --> 00:17:15,720 Lot 3, bid up set stock property 6565663H, 1930s 277 00:17:15,720 --> 00:17:17,000 mini terraced cottagette. 278 00:17:17,000 --> 00:17:19,200 - What was that? - Shh. Ours is the one after this. 279 00:17:19,200 --> 00:17:21,800 Just watch and see how they do it.. 280 00:17:21,800 --> 00:17:24,440 A lot of excitement in the room, a lot of excitement on the phones. 281 00:17:24,440 --> 00:17:27,120 And, so, twin contracts of ownership, rental guidelines, 282 00:17:27,120 --> 00:17:29,160 pertaining of potential under clauses pending. 283 00:17:29,160 --> 00:17:31,480 Agents charges come under Section 17, Part 3 but merges 284 00:17:31,480 --> 00:17:34,440 and contractors can waive the severance in person within 21 days. 285 00:17:34,440 --> 00:17:36,520 So, what have we got? Start me over if you like? 286 00:17:36,520 --> 00:17:38,200 There, now there? 287 00:17:38,200 --> 00:17:39,400 What's he saying? 288 00:17:39,400 --> 00:17:40,840 Get me going. Where you going to be? 289 00:17:40,840 --> 00:17:42,280 Am I going to find you? 290 00:17:42,280 --> 00:17:45,440 Can you feel my eye? Draw it to you. Make me an opener? 291 00:17:47,600 --> 00:17:49,640 Somebody? 45 I have, thank you very much, sir. 292 00:17:49,640 --> 00:17:51,280 Do I see a 46? 46 I see. Do I see 47? 293 00:17:51,280 --> 00:17:53,040 May I say 48? 48 for you now. Is it 49? 294 00:17:53,040 --> 00:17:55,280 49, 49, 49, 49, 49. No, do I have 49? 295 00:17:55,280 --> 00:17:56,400 49, I have, 50? 296 00:17:56,400 --> 00:17:58,920 50 I'm bid. Fresh bid. Do I have 51? 51 I have, 51, 52, 297 00:17:58,920 --> 00:18:00,280 53, 54, 55, 298 00:18:00,280 --> 00:18:02,920 56, 57. 57, 57, I'm selling at 57,000. 299 00:18:02,920 --> 00:18:06,120 One, twice, three times, sold. Thank you. 300 00:18:06,120 --> 00:18:07,160 Moving on. 301 00:18:09,240 --> 00:18:12,960 What even was that? Jesus. It's not like this on Property Lottery. 302 00:18:17,560 --> 00:18:19,160 INSISTENT BEEPING 303 00:18:20,400 --> 00:18:21,560 HE BLOWS 304 00:18:29,760 --> 00:18:31,400 Nice button. 305 00:18:33,160 --> 00:18:36,920 Welsh Guards. 2nd Infantry. 306 00:18:48,480 --> 00:18:50,360 Next I have a bid locked stock trot 307 00:18:50,360 --> 00:18:52,760 4412D, Totterdown cottage. 308 00:18:52,760 --> 00:18:54,120 Oh, this is it, this is us. 309 00:18:54,120 --> 00:18:57,600 Is it? I don't understand a word he's saying, I honestly don't. 310 00:18:57,600 --> 00:18:59,480 Keep calm, concentrate. 311 00:18:59,480 --> 00:19:01,400 Customer starting block? Put it up? 312 00:19:02,800 --> 00:19:04,720 You hear tick, tick, ticking. 313 00:19:04,720 --> 00:19:07,240 Are you forward, are you aft? 314 00:19:07,240 --> 00:19:10,040 Thank you very much, 15,000 I'm bid. Do I hear 16,000 anywhere? 315 00:19:10,040 --> 00:19:13,440 No? No 16? 15,000 then, any more? 316 00:19:13,440 --> 00:19:15,800 No more bids at 15,000? 15 and a half. 317 00:19:15,800 --> 00:19:18,480 Fresh bid. Thank you very much. Now, do I hear 16? 16 I have. 318 00:19:18,480 --> 00:19:19,840 Do we hear 17, sir? 319 00:19:19,840 --> 00:19:21,760 16 and a half, sir? Very well. 320 00:19:21,760 --> 00:19:26,400 I'm selling at 16,000 for the first, second and third time. 321 00:19:26,400 --> 00:19:28,960 And fresh bid, 17,000 at the back of the room there. 322 00:19:28,960 --> 00:19:30,840 Thank you very much, madam. 18, do I hear 18? 323 00:19:30,840 --> 00:19:32,600 18, 19, 20, 324 00:19:32,600 --> 00:19:35,760 21, 22, 23, 24. 325 00:19:35,760 --> 00:19:39,440 Do I hear 25? 25? No, the bid is 24,000 at the back of the room. 326 00:19:39,440 --> 00:19:41,040 Any advance on 24,000? 327 00:19:41,040 --> 00:19:44,560 Selling once, twice and 30,000, a fresh bid on the phone there. 328 00:19:44,560 --> 00:19:46,800 Do we hear 35, madam? 35 I have. 329 00:19:46,800 --> 00:19:48,560 Oh, 40 on the phone. And 45 I have. 330 00:19:48,560 --> 00:19:50,520 50 on the phone. Do I hear 55, madam? 331 00:19:50,520 --> 00:19:52,400 Thank you very much. All out on the phone. 332 00:19:52,400 --> 00:19:55,040 Any more bids in the room before I sell to this lady 333 00:19:55,040 --> 00:19:56,960 at the back of the room for 55,000? 334 00:19:56,960 --> 00:20:00,080 Selling, once, twice, three times and sold. 335 00:20:00,080 --> 00:20:02,160 Thank you very much. And moving on. 336 00:20:05,120 --> 00:20:06,240 What have you done? 337 00:20:06,240 --> 00:20:07,640 It's all right. 338 00:20:07,640 --> 00:20:09,440 They'll send people round. 339 00:20:09,440 --> 00:20:11,840 - They'll take us down. - It's all right, Andy. 340 00:20:11,840 --> 00:20:13,360 - We'll go to prison. - Andy. 341 00:20:13,360 --> 00:20:14,600 You'll go to prison. 342 00:20:14,600 --> 00:20:17,640 My mum's going to lend us the money. I've got it here. 343 00:20:17,640 --> 00:20:18,960 THEY BREATHE HEAVILY 344 00:20:18,960 --> 00:20:22,280 Well, why didn't you fucking tell me? I nearly passed out. 345 00:20:22,280 --> 00:20:24,680 It's ours, Andy. We won it. 346 00:20:24,680 --> 00:20:26,080 BECKY LAUGHS 347 00:20:26,080 --> 00:20:27,800 - I can't feel my legs. - Oh! 348 00:21:07,800 --> 00:21:09,960 Come on then, I dare you. 349 00:21:09,960 --> 00:21:12,080 Let's swap for an hour. 350 00:21:13,280 --> 00:21:14,600 Huh! All right. 351 00:21:17,360 --> 00:21:19,920 Now, you're going to have to be careful, cos this is going to be 352 00:21:19,920 --> 00:21:23,360 like a Formula 1 racing car, you're not going to be used to the power. 353 00:21:23,360 --> 00:21:26,240 Honestly, look at this ridiculous thing. 354 00:21:26,240 --> 00:21:28,320 I mean, it does everything for you. 355 00:21:28,320 --> 00:21:30,360 You don't feel like you have any control. 356 00:21:30,360 --> 00:21:33,080 Hang on, hang on, hang on. Where do you shovel in the coal? 357 00:21:33,080 --> 00:21:35,400 I'm assuming this is steam driven? 358 00:21:35,400 --> 00:21:37,640 And what's this? You've got spoons mode? 359 00:21:38,880 --> 00:21:40,120 It's a bit specific, isn't it? 360 00:21:40,120 --> 00:21:43,280 Well, not if you're searching in an old cutlery dump, it isn't. 361 00:21:43,280 --> 00:21:46,800 See, the Arado, it's, it's sleek, elegant, minimalist. 362 00:21:46,800 --> 00:21:49,640 This is vulgar like, like a monster truck. 363 00:21:49,640 --> 00:21:50,880 What year is this? 364 00:21:52,400 --> 00:21:55,120 It's an original. 1978. 365 00:21:55,120 --> 00:21:57,120 - Is it really? - Mm-hmm. 366 00:21:57,120 --> 00:21:59,880 Is it? Oh. Same as my Triumph. 367 00:21:59,880 --> 00:22:01,520 Yeah. 368 00:22:01,520 --> 00:22:03,280 Ah! Ha-ha! 369 00:22:03,280 --> 00:22:05,080 HE INHALES 370 00:22:05,080 --> 00:22:07,800 Mmm, yeah, there it is. 371 00:22:10,280 --> 00:22:13,200 1978, well I never. 372 00:22:13,200 --> 00:22:15,040 Unmistakable. A good year? 373 00:22:16,280 --> 00:22:17,400 It'll be 40 soon. 374 00:22:17,400 --> 00:22:19,280 The big 4-0. 375 00:22:19,280 --> 00:22:20,320 Here. 376 00:22:21,440 --> 00:22:25,000 I, er... I might have to take a little photograph of 'em together later. 377 00:22:26,240 --> 00:22:28,800 I like the way your mind ticks. 378 00:22:28,800 --> 00:22:30,280 ART LAUGHS 379 00:22:42,120 --> 00:22:43,480 SHE BLOWS 380 00:23:19,520 --> 00:23:21,840 - How are your legs? - Yeah, still a bit trembly. 381 00:23:21,840 --> 00:23:23,160 BECKY LAUGHS 382 00:23:24,640 --> 00:23:27,120 Oh, there's Toni looking bored, you go. 383 00:23:27,120 --> 00:23:29,800 - I love you. - I love you! 384 00:23:29,800 --> 00:23:32,680 Hurry up and find some gold, we've never been skinter. 385 00:23:42,320 --> 00:23:43,640 Hey, mate! 386 00:23:45,040 --> 00:23:46,880 - MUFFLED: - Mate, I'm a home o... 387 00:23:48,960 --> 00:23:51,600 What, mate? All I got was - you're a homo. 388 00:23:51,600 --> 00:23:53,640 Home OWNER. I'm a home owner. 389 00:23:53,640 --> 00:23:56,000 No way, mate? You won it? 390 00:23:56,000 --> 00:23:57,360 Bloody won it. 391 00:23:57,360 --> 00:23:59,480 Oh, congratulations. With 12 grand? 392 00:23:59,480 --> 00:24:01,280 Well, no, we, we had to go over. 393 00:24:01,280 --> 00:24:03,040 Ah. Who did the bidding, you? 394 00:24:03,040 --> 00:24:04,800 Yeah, yeah, me, yeah. 395 00:24:04,800 --> 00:24:07,760 - With the little card? - All of that, you know. 396 00:24:07,760 --> 00:24:08,960 THEY LAUGH 397 00:24:08,960 --> 00:24:10,760 Well, nice one, mate, congratulations. 398 00:24:12,000 --> 00:24:14,400 Hang on a sec, what's going on? What's that? 399 00:24:14,400 --> 00:24:16,440 Oh, yeah, I'm trying it out. My idea. 400 00:24:16,440 --> 00:24:18,280 You know what, it's not half bad. 401 00:24:19,360 --> 00:24:23,400 That's embarrassing. Leave you alone for a couple of hours. 402 00:24:23,400 --> 00:24:25,080 Simple, but effective. 403 00:24:37,760 --> 00:24:39,960 Well, a good day, all. 404 00:24:41,240 --> 00:24:44,480 No gold, unfortunately, despite the earlier false alarm. 405 00:24:44,480 --> 00:24:46,320 Yes, sorry, shouldn't have done that dance. 406 00:24:46,320 --> 00:24:48,680 Oh-ho. I am all for dancing, Paul, 407 00:24:48,680 --> 00:24:50,800 as any of these people will tell you. 408 00:24:50,800 --> 00:24:53,920 But in the field we only dance for gold. 409 00:24:53,920 --> 00:24:56,120 I didn't expect everybody to run towards me like that. 410 00:24:56,120 --> 00:24:57,160 TERRY LAUGHS 411 00:24:57,160 --> 00:24:58,680 No, as I say, no gold, 412 00:24:58,680 --> 00:25:01,960 and I feel we've found all there is to be found. 413 00:25:01,960 --> 00:25:05,000 And if there was a grave here, I think, unfortunately, 414 00:25:05,000 --> 00:25:07,800 it has been lost to time and the plough. 415 00:25:07,800 --> 00:25:13,000 And with that, I suggest we all retire to the Two Brewers, 416 00:25:13,000 --> 00:25:15,960 where the first round is most definitely on me. 417 00:25:15,960 --> 00:25:17,720 APPLAUSE 418 00:25:17,720 --> 00:25:19,680 Come on then. Race you. 419 00:25:21,280 --> 00:25:22,880 Are you coming? 420 00:25:24,080 --> 00:25:26,600 Yeah. I was just going to, erm... 421 00:25:29,080 --> 00:25:30,120 Ah... 422 00:25:31,240 --> 00:25:32,600 Do you need a moment alone? 423 00:25:33,640 --> 00:25:35,000 - Do you mind? - Would you mind? 424 00:25:45,480 --> 00:25:47,920 So, that's it then? Wasn't meant to be? 425 00:25:49,760 --> 00:25:51,600 Nope, not this time. 426 00:25:53,440 --> 00:25:54,760 What do we do now? 427 00:25:56,160 --> 00:25:58,880 Find a new permission. Carry on, mate. 428 00:25:58,880 --> 00:26:00,240 Got to keep searching. 429 00:26:01,640 --> 00:26:02,880 I don't know why we do it. 430 00:26:04,040 --> 00:26:06,040 No? I do. 431 00:26:07,640 --> 00:26:09,200 I thought you probably would. 432 00:26:09,200 --> 00:26:10,840 Time travel. 433 00:26:10,840 --> 00:26:12,680 Go on. 434 00:26:14,880 --> 00:26:19,080 Metal detecting is the closest you'll get to time travel. 435 00:26:19,080 --> 00:26:23,560 See, archaeologists, they gather up the facts, 436 00:26:23,560 --> 00:26:27,000 piece the jigsaw together, work out how we lived 437 00:26:27,000 --> 00:26:29,880 and find the buildings we lived in, but what we do is... 438 00:26:31,800 --> 00:26:33,120 That's different. 439 00:26:34,640 --> 00:26:39,520 We unearth the scattered memories, mine for stories, 440 00:26:39,520 --> 00:26:41,400 fill in the personality. 441 00:26:44,520 --> 00:26:46,040 Detectorists. 442 00:26:47,440 --> 00:26:48,800 We're time travellers. 443 00:26:51,480 --> 00:26:54,320 Yeah, all right. I'll give you that one. 444 00:26:57,040 --> 00:26:58,080 Pub? 445 00:26:59,160 --> 00:27:00,600 Go on, then. 446 00:27:09,560 --> 00:27:11,280 ENGINE TURNS OVER 447 00:27:11,280 --> 00:27:13,200 MUSIC: Detectorists by Johnny Flynn 448 00:27:13,200 --> 00:27:16,880 # Will you search the lonely Earth for me 449 00:27:18,200 --> 00:27:23,040 # Climb through the briar and bramble 450 00:27:23,040 --> 00:27:26,480 # I'll be your treasure... # 451 00:27:26,480 --> 00:27:28,920 COINS FALL AND JINGLE 452 00:27:33,120 --> 00:27:37,360 # I felt the touch of the kings and the breath of the wind 453 00:27:37,360 --> 00:27:40,280 # I knew the call of all the song birds 454 00:27:40,280 --> 00:27:43,680 # They sang all the wrong words 455 00:27:45,880 --> 00:27:48,720 # I'm waiting for you 456 00:27:50,440 --> 00:27:53,360 # I'm waiting for you 457 00:27:56,440 --> 00:28:01,040 # Mm-mm-mm-mm 458 00:28:01,040 --> 00:28:04,440 # Mm-mm-mm-mm 459 00:28:07,200 --> 00:28:11,320 # Would you drift all the rolling fields for me 460 00:28:11,320 --> 00:28:14,680 # Hoard me in the highest bough 461 00:28:16,880 --> 00:28:20,480 # I'll be your treasure 462 00:28:27,280 --> 00:28:31,840 # But in history's rhyme there's a place and a time 463 00:28:31,840 --> 00:28:37,040 # And a truth to the gold that the folds cannot hold 464 00:28:39,840 --> 00:28:42,240 # I'm waiting for you 465 00:28:44,280 --> 00:28:47,280 # I'm waiting for you. #