1 00:00:12,312 --> 00:00:13,680 All right. 2 00:00:13,747 --> 00:00:16,282 How's it going, YouTube? 3 00:00:16,349 --> 00:00:18,608 I'm Pete, and I'm standing outside. 4 00:00:18,718 --> 00:00:20,253 Ruth's Alternative Caring, 5 00:00:20,421 --> 00:00:24,457 Southern California's finest and friendliest marijuana dispensary. 6 00:00:24,666 --> 00:00:25,788 Come on inside 7 00:00:25,884 --> 00:00:28,787 'cause if we sell this stuff outside, we go to prison. 8 00:00:32,442 --> 00:00:34,644 I'm Ruth Whitefeather Feldman. 9 00:00:34,921 --> 00:00:37,390 Cannabis lawyer, cannabis activist, 10 00:00:37,415 --> 00:00:39,851 and just before I opened the door, cannabis user. 11 00:00:41,457 --> 00:00:45,478 I've devoted my entire life to spreading the gospel of marijuana, 12 00:00:45,762 --> 00:00:47,746 the miraculous plant that has the power 13 00:00:47,832 --> 00:00:49,967 to heal the sick, calm the afflicted, 14 00:00:50,145 --> 00:00:53,815 and usher in a golden age of people not being such dicks all the time. 15 00:00:55,543 --> 00:00:57,223 Okay, then I'll just walk right in. 16 00:00:57,566 --> 00:00:59,935 Oh, no, not so fast, new patient. 17 00:01:00,173 --> 00:01:02,843 First of all, in accordance with state law, 18 00:01:03,275 --> 00:01:06,779 you must check in with our friendly security guard, Carter. 19 00:01:07,604 --> 00:01:11,174 Hello. May I see your ID and medical recommendation? 20 00:01:13,588 --> 00:01:14,793 Thank you. 21 00:01:15,182 --> 00:01:17,350 Don't worry, that's just a Taser gun. 22 00:01:17,692 --> 00:01:19,927 You've never had to use that thing, right, Carter? 23 00:01:20,735 --> 00:01:22,207 Had to? No. 24 00:01:25,908 --> 00:01:27,238 You are good. 25 00:01:30,368 --> 00:01:31,684 Follow me. 26 00:01:35,161 --> 00:01:37,809 Here at Ruth's, our greatest resource... 27 00:01:38,046 --> 00:01:40,582 aside from having a shitload of weed... 28 00:01:42,158 --> 00:01:45,856 is our staff of highly-trained, compassionate budtenders. 29 00:01:45,989 --> 00:01:48,408 You've already met Pete, our in-house grower, 30 00:01:48,514 --> 00:01:52,451 and three-time winner of the San Bernardino Cannabis Cup. 31 00:01:53,105 --> 00:01:55,223 It was an honor just to be nominated. 32 00:01:57,043 --> 00:02:00,186 I'm also pleased to work alongside Jenny. 33 00:02:00,472 --> 00:02:03,275 Hey, I'm your toking Asian. 34 00:02:05,685 --> 00:02:06,986 - Olivia. - Hi. 35 00:02:07,412 --> 00:02:08,996 Wait, let me try that again. 36 00:02:09,455 --> 00:02:10,668 Hi. 37 00:02:12,352 --> 00:02:13,574 Nailed it. 38 00:02:14,534 --> 00:02:16,236 And Travis, my son. 39 00:02:16,422 --> 00:02:17,457 And partner. 40 00:02:17,529 --> 00:02:18,546 On behalf of all of us, 41 00:02:18,571 --> 00:02:22,742 I look forward to helping you meet and exceed your marijuana goals. 42 00:02:22,918 --> 00:02:25,420 And that's a promise. 43 00:02:25,876 --> 00:02:29,513 Travis here recently came onboard after a trip to the dark side. 44 00:02:31,831 --> 00:02:33,293 I got an MBA. 45 00:02:35,860 --> 00:02:37,829 So, if you're serious about healing... 46 00:02:38,212 --> 00:02:40,848 or just thinking about being serious about healing... 47 00:02:43,036 --> 00:02:46,407 come on down to my place, Ruth's Alternative Caring. 48 00:02:46,510 --> 00:02:48,245 'Cause when it comes to cannabis... 49 00:02:48,857 --> 00:02:51,894 There is no alternative. 50 00:02:57,363 --> 00:02:58,581 So, now what? 51 00:02:58,945 --> 00:03:02,415 - Now we have an online presence. - Hey, we already got our first comment. 52 00:03:02,773 --> 00:03:04,307 I'll do the honors. 53 00:03:05,047 --> 00:03:07,083 "Why is her son black?" 54 00:03:16,707 --> 00:03:20,480 synced & corrected by PopcornAWH www.MY-SUBS.com. 55 00:04:05,615 --> 00:04:07,818 Hi. Hi. I don't know how this works. 56 00:04:07,865 --> 00:04:11,351 I haven't bought marijuana since 1991, right before a Spin Doctors concert. 57 00:04:11,417 --> 00:04:13,586 Actually... my friend Denise bought the pot. 58 00:04:13,653 --> 00:04:15,288 Denise Palmeri, nice girl. 59 00:04:15,355 --> 00:04:17,896 - I believe she ended up at Duke. - Ma'am... 60 00:04:18,896 --> 00:04:22,295 - ID and medical recommendation. - Yeah... Yeah, of course. I got my... 61 00:04:22,362 --> 00:04:24,764 I got my driver's license and my doctor's note, 62 00:04:24,831 --> 00:04:27,467 although he didn't seem like much of a doctor. 63 00:04:27,533 --> 00:04:28,584 I mean... 64 00:04:28,633 --> 00:04:31,703 I mean, the guy was wearing sandals. 65 00:04:33,747 --> 00:04:34,967 So did Jesus. 66 00:04:37,508 --> 00:04:39,710 Hello, I'm Ruth. How can I healp you? 67 00:04:40,842 --> 00:04:42,282 I'm... I'm sorry? 68 00:04:42,348 --> 00:04:45,263 Healp. It's a combination of "help" and "heal." 69 00:04:45,518 --> 00:04:49,162 Um, you know, like cronut or Labradoodle. 70 00:04:50,210 --> 00:04:51,744 I'm trying to make it a thing. 71 00:04:53,998 --> 00:04:56,296 Okay. Hi, Ruth. I'm Maria. 72 00:04:56,431 --> 00:04:57,888 - It's nice to meet you. - Yeah. 73 00:04:58,064 --> 00:05:00,224 - This is your first time? - Yes. Well, I... 74 00:05:00,633 --> 00:05:02,635 Except 1991's Spin Doctors with... 75 00:05:02,660 --> 00:05:03,756 With Denise. 76 00:05:03,802 --> 00:05:05,224 - I was telling about Denise. - Shh. Shh. 77 00:05:05,248 --> 00:05:06,639 Tell me about your life now. 78 00:05:06,706 --> 00:05:08,808 Oh, my life now. Oh, yeah. Of course, great. 79 00:05:08,920 --> 00:05:11,444 I'm... I'm a stay-at-home mother of two. 80 00:05:11,511 --> 00:05:13,045 I'm happily married. 81 00:05:13,155 --> 00:05:14,990 Well, I... Eh. 82 00:05:16,248 --> 00:05:17,889 Happy-ish. I just reached a point in my life 83 00:05:17,913 --> 00:05:19,548 where I need to calm down, like... 84 00:05:19,719 --> 00:05:23,323 Like right now. Like, I am this close to driving the minivan into the lake. 85 00:05:25,775 --> 00:05:26,951 I understand. 86 00:05:27,327 --> 00:05:28,701 Maria, you're not alone. 87 00:05:29,105 --> 00:05:31,874 In fact, you'll be happy to know that you're a stereotype. 88 00:05:34,367 --> 00:05:36,836 I've seen mothers like you come in here all the time. 89 00:05:37,045 --> 00:05:39,972 You're anxious, you're stressed, you're overwhelmed. 90 00:05:40,039 --> 00:05:41,908 Your kids, you love them, right? 91 00:05:42,210 --> 00:05:45,113 But let's face it, they're bottomless pits of need. 92 00:05:47,226 --> 00:05:48,761 I'm right here, Mom. 93 00:05:50,834 --> 00:05:52,021 That's my pit. 94 00:05:54,475 --> 00:05:57,544 It sounds like you're looking for something anti-anxiety. 95 00:05:57,991 --> 00:05:59,827 Uh, are you free to medicate now? 96 00:05:59,916 --> 00:06:01,013 Get high? 97 00:06:01,127 --> 00:06:02,248 I guess. 98 00:06:02,309 --> 00:06:04,300 I just thought maybe I'd wait till tonight 99 00:06:04,371 --> 00:06:06,084 when my husband and kids are asleep. 100 00:06:06,263 --> 00:06:10,404 Oh, Maria, smoking cannabis isn't about withdrawing from your family. 101 00:06:10,542 --> 00:06:12,795 It's about altering your perception of them. 102 00:06:14,407 --> 00:06:15,615 So they're tolerable. 103 00:06:16,301 --> 00:06:17,636 Again... 104 00:06:17,697 --> 00:06:18,903 right here. 105 00:06:20,329 --> 00:06:22,459 See? I'm not bothered at all by that. 106 00:06:30,922 --> 00:06:32,231 What do you think? 107 00:06:32,332 --> 00:06:33,810 On a scale of one to... 108 00:06:35,461 --> 00:06:36,740 Uh, your choice. 109 00:06:38,498 --> 00:06:40,767 It's hard to quantify numerically. It's... 110 00:06:41,244 --> 00:06:42,379 It's more of a feeling. 111 00:06:42,435 --> 00:06:43,631 What's the feeling? 112 00:06:44,504 --> 00:06:45,685 Seven. 113 00:06:47,874 --> 00:06:49,092 Out of 10? 114 00:06:49,168 --> 00:06:51,136 I don't know. I just know it's really good. 115 00:06:52,349 --> 00:06:54,747 I'm not interested in growing "really good" weed. 116 00:06:54,814 --> 00:06:56,310 Anybody can do that. 117 00:06:56,383 --> 00:06:57,650 God could do that. 118 00:06:58,451 --> 00:07:00,686 What I'm after is the Omega strain. 119 00:07:01,148 --> 00:07:03,284 Pot that doesn't just make you high... 120 00:07:03,971 --> 00:07:05,572 but makes you whole. 121 00:07:07,917 --> 00:07:09,568 Sorry, I wasn't listening. 122 00:07:13,417 --> 00:07:14,646 Oh, damn. 123 00:07:16,278 --> 00:07:20,467 Hey, Mom. I can't talk long, I'm in class. 124 00:07:21,570 --> 00:07:23,538 Yes, medical school is great. 125 00:07:23,988 --> 00:07:25,201 Now? 126 00:07:25,757 --> 00:07:28,146 Now, I'm dissecting a cadaver. 127 00:07:29,549 --> 00:07:31,131 Scalpel, please. 128 00:07:32,485 --> 00:07:35,201 No, it's a Caucasian cadaver. 129 00:07:35,655 --> 00:07:37,623 Yes, they are a fat people. 130 00:07:37,939 --> 00:07:40,904 Yes, they do take a lot of dope, but I'm staying away from all that. 131 00:07:41,194 --> 00:07:44,920 You would be very proud of me. Almost as if I were a male child. 132 00:07:45,912 --> 00:07:49,235 Gotta go. Say hi to Dad. Bye maternal figure! 133 00:07:49,541 --> 00:07:50,888 Bye, Mom. 134 00:07:51,893 --> 00:07:53,099 Here you go. 135 00:07:53,840 --> 00:07:54,841 What's this? 136 00:07:54,907 --> 00:07:57,510 You asked for a scalpel. All I have is an X-Acto knife. 137 00:07:58,580 --> 00:08:00,240 Oh. Thank you. 138 00:08:00,505 --> 00:08:02,580 Your parents okay with you working here? 139 00:08:02,691 --> 00:08:04,278 'Cause most of mine are. 140 00:08:04,904 --> 00:08:06,490 Yeah. Of course they are. 141 00:08:06,814 --> 00:08:09,083 Think I'd lie to them about what I do for a living? 142 00:08:09,529 --> 00:08:10,756 How could I keep that up 143 00:08:10,823 --> 00:08:13,779 without having a nervous breakdown? Use your head, Pete. 144 00:08:16,847 --> 00:08:18,181 Oh, paranoia. 145 00:08:19,137 --> 00:08:20,972 Why can't I breed you out? 146 00:08:31,755 --> 00:08:33,397 Can we talk or are you too high? 147 00:08:34,607 --> 00:08:35,982 Just business high. 148 00:08:37,116 --> 00:08:38,615 Come on in. 149 00:08:39,245 --> 00:08:41,747 Did you have a chance to read my franchise proposal? 150 00:08:41,920 --> 00:08:43,197 I did have a chance. 151 00:08:43,222 --> 00:08:45,190 And, in hindsight, I wish I'd taken it. 152 00:08:49,896 --> 00:08:51,201 Well, take a look. 153 00:08:51,325 --> 00:08:52,760 Your name is in the title. 154 00:08:53,427 --> 00:08:55,101 "Ruth's Alternative Caring: 155 00:08:55,471 --> 00:08:58,774 A Business Plan for Making Compassion Competitive." 156 00:08:59,005 --> 00:09:01,874 Wow, that's great. I'm so proud of you. I love you. 157 00:09:04,662 --> 00:09:07,154 Mom, this is a blueprint for the future. 158 00:09:07,742 --> 00:09:10,467 Recreational is now legal in California. 159 00:09:10,550 --> 00:09:11,918 The gold rush is on. 160 00:09:11,984 --> 00:09:15,121 And pretty soon somebody's gonna become the Walmart of cannabis. 161 00:09:15,881 --> 00:09:17,114 Why not us? 162 00:09:18,253 --> 00:09:19,888 'Cause Walmart is evil. 163 00:09:22,216 --> 00:09:23,489 You shop there. 164 00:09:25,147 --> 00:09:26,882 Only when I'm buying in bulk. 165 00:09:29,154 --> 00:09:30,432 It's bulk evil. 166 00:09:33,639 --> 00:09:35,608 I thought we agreed that once I graduated, 167 00:09:35,675 --> 00:09:37,710 I'd be an active partner in this shop. 168 00:09:38,144 --> 00:09:40,112 Yes, and you are. 169 00:09:40,516 --> 00:09:44,453 You already made me do that whole YouTube thing. 170 00:09:45,017 --> 00:09:46,185 I mean, what's next? 171 00:09:46,245 --> 00:09:50,015 You want me to stand outside, dressed like a joint, twirling a sign? 172 00:09:51,379 --> 00:09:53,081 Not you. I was thinking Pete. 173 00:09:55,309 --> 00:09:57,778 You remind me of your father, back in the day. 174 00:09:58,021 --> 00:10:00,323 Ambitious, determined... 175 00:10:01,037 --> 00:10:02,772 thirsty for young white women. 176 00:10:04,927 --> 00:10:08,341 Hey. You were one of those young white women. 177 00:10:09,354 --> 00:10:11,489 Must it always be about race with you? 178 00:10:12,612 --> 00:10:15,147 Mom, I had offers to work for a lot of big companies, 179 00:10:15,214 --> 00:10:17,467 but I came back here to help you. You know why? 180 00:10:17,617 --> 00:10:19,919 'Cause Exxon makes you piss in a cup once a month? 181 00:10:21,754 --> 00:10:23,923 No, I came back because I believe in you... 182 00:10:24,443 --> 00:10:27,093 and your legacy, and the future of the cannabis industry. 183 00:10:27,275 --> 00:10:30,078 Ugh. I hate that word, "industry." 184 00:10:30,750 --> 00:10:33,152 Travis, I don't wanna run this place like an industry. 185 00:10:33,515 --> 00:10:35,917 I think of it more like a safe haven. 186 00:10:36,186 --> 00:10:39,456 It's a sanctuary, it's a place where... Where the sick are healed. 187 00:10:39,872 --> 00:10:42,074 Great. Why can't we do that in a thousand stores? 188 00:10:42,404 --> 00:10:44,710 Put one in every town, right next to every Pizza Hut. 189 00:10:44,908 --> 00:10:46,217 Oy. 190 00:10:46,387 --> 00:10:48,256 Oh, that's another word I hate, "hut." 191 00:10:50,083 --> 00:10:52,953 What schmuck wants pizza from a hut? 192 00:10:53,943 --> 00:10:55,311 Mom, please. 193 00:10:55,567 --> 00:10:56,613 Focus. 194 00:10:56,638 --> 00:10:58,673 Okay. You want focus? 195 00:11:00,048 --> 00:11:02,851 This is not what I spent my life fighting for. 196 00:11:04,709 --> 00:11:06,849 That's a Pottery Barn catalog. 197 00:11:08,211 --> 00:11:11,280 What shmuck wants to buy pottery from a barn? 198 00:11:15,708 --> 00:11:16,920 I'm sorry. 199 00:11:17,577 --> 00:11:20,246 This is not what I fought for all my life. 200 00:11:20,615 --> 00:11:23,006 So, if all you care about is selling out, 201 00:11:23,031 --> 00:11:25,264 making a lot of money like your father... 202 00:11:25,709 --> 00:11:27,544 why don't you go work for him? 203 00:11:28,169 --> 00:11:29,396 Maybe I will. 204 00:11:34,537 --> 00:11:37,696 Oh, I wanna get up and fix this, but I can't fucking move. 205 00:11:44,298 --> 00:11:48,052 When you've grown marijuana since 1873, 206 00:11:48,412 --> 00:11:50,976 you learn a few things about pride, 207 00:11:51,043 --> 00:11:52,478 about standards, 208 00:11:52,580 --> 00:11:55,149 about only growing the highest-quality plants, 209 00:11:55,986 --> 00:11:59,123 watered by pure Rocky Mountain streams. 210 00:12:00,039 --> 00:12:04,110 Some say Americans can't grow good marijuana anymore. 211 00:12:05,156 --> 00:12:06,341 We say, 212 00:12:06,669 --> 00:12:08,537 "Where you been, rabbi?" 213 00:12:09,029 --> 00:12:11,431 Kush, the banquet weed. 214 00:12:17,002 --> 00:12:18,838 Hey, look. Look, I'm on the... 215 00:12:19,271 --> 00:12:22,074 I'm on the security cam. Hey. Hey. 216 00:12:22,508 --> 00:12:23,638 Hey. Oh, my... 217 00:12:23,701 --> 00:12:26,187 Hey. Hey. Stick them up. Hey, stick them up. 218 00:12:26,212 --> 00:12:28,380 I'm just joking, I'm just joking. All good. 219 00:12:28,693 --> 00:12:30,273 Oh, my God, that is so fun. 220 00:12:30,298 --> 00:12:33,235 That is so much better than the shit my kids watch. 221 00:12:34,273 --> 00:12:36,509 Did you ever see Caillou? 222 00:12:38,703 --> 00:12:39,981 I lived it. 223 00:12:41,200 --> 00:12:42,635 So, what'd you do before this? 224 00:12:42,660 --> 00:12:43,660 I was in the Army. 225 00:12:43,685 --> 00:12:45,453 - Oh, where? - Iraq. 226 00:12:45,931 --> 00:12:47,133 Oh. 227 00:12:49,606 --> 00:12:51,141 Our side, I hope. Heh. 228 00:12:53,335 --> 00:12:55,470 Excuse me, just gonna... Excuse me for a second. 229 00:12:57,510 --> 00:13:00,246 Maria, how's your medication working? You feeling healped? 230 00:13:00,312 --> 00:13:03,282 Well, at first I was very happy, but now I'm a little sad. 231 00:13:03,349 --> 00:13:04,783 Oh, no. What's going on? 232 00:13:04,850 --> 00:13:08,921 I thought he was surly because he's black, but it turns out it was war. 233 00:13:11,224 --> 00:13:14,646 Okay, it's important to remember that marijuana doesn't mask your emotions. 234 00:13:14,732 --> 00:13:17,342 - If anything, it amplifies... - Holy shit, a chair. 235 00:13:17,420 --> 00:13:19,656 You better believe I'm sitting in that thing. 236 00:13:24,335 --> 00:13:25,936 How you doing, Carter? 237 00:13:26,842 --> 00:13:28,139 She asked me where I served, 238 00:13:28,209 --> 00:13:29,334 - I told her. - Yeah. 239 00:13:29,373 --> 00:13:31,474 Don't worry about that. If you ever wanna talk, 240 00:13:31,569 --> 00:13:32,881 my door's always open. 241 00:13:32,978 --> 00:13:34,847 - Got it. - And it goes without saying, 242 00:13:34,914 --> 00:13:36,815 if you need any product, on the house. 243 00:13:37,022 --> 00:13:38,748 No, thank you. I don't smoke. 244 00:13:39,235 --> 00:13:42,038 Never? Why, I find that really hard to believe. 245 00:13:42,275 --> 00:13:45,045 I'm not saying that I don't get curious about it sometimes, 246 00:13:45,136 --> 00:13:47,435 but then I see people like her... 247 00:13:52,919 --> 00:13:54,450 And then it passes. 248 00:13:56,033 --> 00:13:59,103 Okay, well, if you ever need me, I'm here for you. 249 00:13:59,673 --> 00:14:01,701 Yes, ma'am. Thank you. Do not worry. 250 00:14:03,795 --> 00:14:05,146 Do not... 251 00:14:06,037 --> 00:14:07,046 worry. 252 00:14:07,112 --> 00:14:08,948 Post-traumatic. 253 00:14:09,014 --> 00:14:10,412 As in "later". 254 00:14:10,950 --> 00:14:12,218 After the return. 255 00:14:12,974 --> 00:14:13,986 Recurrence. 256 00:14:14,053 --> 00:14:15,187 Mocking time. 257 00:14:15,254 --> 00:14:16,589 Invading distance. 258 00:14:16,855 --> 00:14:18,891 Home and safety no deterrents. 259 00:14:19,058 --> 00:14:20,960 Rippling through the bombed-out crater. 260 00:14:21,026 --> 00:14:22,962 Of a mind that lacks resistance. 261 00:14:23,121 --> 00:14:25,357 In a man who lacks insurance. 262 00:14:25,658 --> 00:14:27,060 Awe his symptom. 263 00:14:27,132 --> 00:14:28,267 Shock his illness. 264 00:14:28,793 --> 00:14:30,862 Shaken beyond all endurance. 265 00:14:31,186 --> 00:14:33,922 Shrapnel shooting through his stillness. 266 00:14:34,473 --> 00:14:36,075 Scanning his periphery. 267 00:14:36,336 --> 00:14:38,271 For targets only he can see. 268 00:14:38,914 --> 00:14:40,949 He pulls the pins of memory. 269 00:14:41,441 --> 00:14:45,044 And finds in each an IED. 270 00:14:45,301 --> 00:14:47,403 A brother in a band alone. 271 00:14:47,765 --> 00:14:53,304 With his unknown unknown unknown 272 00:14:57,461 --> 00:14:58,645 I'm fine. 273 00:15:05,776 --> 00:15:07,256 G'day, ladies. 274 00:15:08,093 --> 00:15:09,451 Working up a thirst? 275 00:15:10,525 --> 00:15:12,694 May I offer you a bevvy? 276 00:15:16,004 --> 00:15:17,412 That's right. 277 00:15:18,150 --> 00:15:19,150 Sip it slow. 278 00:15:20,419 --> 00:15:22,087 Take it down to the roots. 279 00:15:23,555 --> 00:15:25,391 Pete, you're talking Australian again. 280 00:15:27,964 --> 00:15:29,043 Am I? 281 00:15:29,502 --> 00:15:30,645 Crikey. 282 00:15:32,197 --> 00:15:34,566 It's so weird that I do that. 283 00:15:36,352 --> 00:15:38,012 - You want? - Thank you. 284 00:15:39,117 --> 00:15:41,895 - Must be nice to have Travis back. - Eh. 285 00:15:44,786 --> 00:15:46,922 He's got all these business ideas for the store. 286 00:15:46,979 --> 00:15:50,282 I'm your boss, I think it's crazy and stupid, but what are your thoughts? 287 00:15:51,873 --> 00:15:56,144 Well... I really don't think of my thoughts as mine. 288 00:15:56,536 --> 00:15:57,684 You know? 289 00:15:57,838 --> 00:15:59,439 They come, they go. 290 00:16:00,326 --> 00:16:02,529 Sometimes they wonder what urine tastes like. 291 00:16:04,658 --> 00:16:05,801 Salty. 292 00:16:08,233 --> 00:16:12,645 Well, the times are changing, Pete. You know, back in the day... 293 00:16:12,895 --> 00:16:14,473 marijuana was a cause. 294 00:16:15,489 --> 00:16:17,391 It was a symbol of defiance. 295 00:16:17,542 --> 00:16:18,844 Now it's just a commodity. 296 00:16:19,887 --> 00:16:22,681 Hey, you ever see my Woo in Rage speech? 297 00:16:22,927 --> 00:16:24,051 Yeah. 298 00:16:24,126 --> 00:16:25,301 Wait. 299 00:16:25,417 --> 00:16:26,559 No. 300 00:16:27,670 --> 00:16:29,645 Oh, 1972. 301 00:16:29,867 --> 00:16:32,470 First ever HEMP Day March on Washington, D.C. 302 00:16:32,725 --> 00:16:35,761 That's HEMP, as in Help End Marijuana Prohibition. 303 00:16:35,911 --> 00:16:38,739 But also hemp as in... hemp, 304 00:16:38,827 --> 00:16:40,825 - so, there's a double meaning. - Yeah. 305 00:16:40,957 --> 00:16:42,239 No fooling you. 306 00:16:44,986 --> 00:16:46,420 Listen up, Tricky Dick. 307 00:16:46,864 --> 00:16:50,509 We're here today because we smoke grass. 308 00:16:52,321 --> 00:16:55,791 And we're tired of being arrested for smoking grass. 309 00:16:57,474 --> 00:16:59,276 And we're tired of the war. 310 00:17:00,599 --> 00:17:02,401 But we like grass. 311 00:17:04,012 --> 00:17:06,058 That's right. We "woo." 312 00:17:06,225 --> 00:17:07,526 Woo! 313 00:17:07,710 --> 00:17:09,378 We "woo" in anger. 314 00:17:09,445 --> 00:17:10,738 Woo! 315 00:17:10,926 --> 00:17:12,794 We "woo" for justice. 316 00:17:14,500 --> 00:17:17,436 We "woo" for those who have had their freedom taken away 317 00:17:17,628 --> 00:17:19,897 and can no longer "woo" for themselves. 318 00:17:22,508 --> 00:17:24,700 It's hard to believe I got so worked up 319 00:17:24,781 --> 00:17:27,684 over what I now realize was really shitty pot. 320 00:17:33,194 --> 00:17:35,329 I honestly don't think she's capable of change. 321 00:17:35,377 --> 00:17:38,113 I think there's some damage up here from all the healping. 322 00:17:40,249 --> 00:17:42,985 What's it with you Jewish guys and your mommy issues? 323 00:17:44,467 --> 00:17:45,635 I'm only half-Jewish. 324 00:17:45,973 --> 00:17:48,734 Believe me, it's not as easy as Drake makes it look. 325 00:17:51,093 --> 00:17:53,095 I'm sorry. Has it been tough being you? 326 00:17:53,519 --> 00:17:54,658 Are you kidding me? 327 00:17:54,705 --> 00:17:57,709 My father was a Black Panther who became a corporate lawyer 328 00:17:57,776 --> 00:18:00,446 for a big pharmaceutical company, and my mother, well... 329 00:18:02,260 --> 00:18:04,629 I mean, you've met that batshit nonsense. 330 00:18:05,521 --> 00:18:06,856 I happen to like your mom. 331 00:18:07,836 --> 00:18:09,986 Sure. She's great. 332 00:18:10,289 --> 00:18:11,549 She's a legend. 333 00:18:11,774 --> 00:18:15,211 But she's also the reason I've had acid reflux since I was 6 years old. 334 00:18:16,519 --> 00:18:19,255 So, I'm guessing it's the lower half of you that's Jewish? 335 00:18:25,469 --> 00:18:26,937 So, what's your sad story? 336 00:18:28,107 --> 00:18:31,611 I don't have one. I grew up in a lovely little town in Iowa. 337 00:18:31,700 --> 00:18:34,503 Everybody knew everybody. No one locked their doors. 338 00:18:34,789 --> 00:18:36,041 Then why'd you leave? 339 00:18:36,134 --> 00:18:38,203 'Cause people kept walking in and taking shit. 340 00:18:40,278 --> 00:18:42,470 The whole town was hooked on meth and crack. 341 00:18:43,085 --> 00:18:45,654 Drugs are a big problem in that part of the country, right? 342 00:18:48,263 --> 00:18:50,599 Do you not see the hypocrisy in what you just did? 343 00:18:51,163 --> 00:18:55,334 Oh, come on, you can't equate marijuana with meth and crack. 344 00:18:55,400 --> 00:18:58,237 I mean, that's like apples and meth and crack. 345 00:19:00,467 --> 00:19:02,736 If you feel that way, why are you working here? 346 00:19:03,541 --> 00:19:05,177 Have you been watching? I'm not. 347 00:19:05,244 --> 00:19:06,994 I've been on break since ten. 348 00:19:10,267 --> 00:19:12,134 You're not who I thought you were. 349 00:19:12,425 --> 00:19:15,061 - Neither are you. - Who did you think I was? 350 00:19:17,222 --> 00:19:19,291 Let's save that for another time. 351 00:19:25,549 --> 00:19:27,589 - Okay, then. - Yes. 352 00:19:34,478 --> 00:19:35,496 In a couple hours, 353 00:19:35,521 --> 00:19:37,723 I'll think of the perfect thing to say right now. 354 00:19:42,963 --> 00:19:45,317 Have you ordered a pizza? Has it not arrived yet? 355 00:19:45,486 --> 00:19:48,187 You could be entitled to punitive and compensatory damages 356 00:19:48,253 --> 00:19:49,688 up to $5 million. 357 00:19:49,922 --> 00:19:53,825 At Young and High, we specialize in cases of extreme snack delay. 358 00:19:54,025 --> 00:19:56,562 Our attorneys have a combined 60 years' experience 359 00:19:56,628 --> 00:19:58,924 in helping victims of Dilatory Foodstuff Syndrome 360 00:19:59,031 --> 00:20:01,633 get the restitution and justice they deserve. 361 00:20:01,967 --> 00:20:04,670 And we don't get a slice unless you do. 362 00:20:07,239 --> 00:20:08,353 Oh, God, that's good. 363 00:20:08,400 --> 00:20:10,475 Call the attorneys at Young and High right now. 364 00:20:10,542 --> 00:20:13,612 Because after all, it's been 45 minutes. Am I right? What the fuck? 365 00:20:13,749 --> 00:20:15,017 Call now. 366 00:20:16,577 --> 00:20:17,889 No, Dad, 367 00:20:17,914 --> 00:20:20,280 gynecology won't turn me into a lesbian. 368 00:20:24,256 --> 00:20:26,033 Hey, boss. You got a second? 369 00:20:26,110 --> 00:20:28,963 Boss? Come on, we're a couple of liberated women. 370 00:20:29,133 --> 00:20:30,463 Call me sir. 371 00:20:34,667 --> 00:20:35,828 What you reading? 372 00:20:35,883 --> 00:20:37,251 The Power of Now. 373 00:20:37,908 --> 00:20:39,289 I can finish it later. 374 00:20:43,172 --> 00:20:44,289 What's up? 375 00:20:44,362 --> 00:20:45,641 I hope I'm not out of line, 376 00:20:45,719 --> 00:20:48,855 but I wanted to put in my two cents about Travis' business plan. 377 00:20:49,263 --> 00:20:50,898 Well, I'm happy to talk to you, but... 378 00:20:51,784 --> 00:20:54,454 as I said to Travis... fuck that shit. 379 00:20:58,757 --> 00:21:00,626 Can't fault your logic. Um... 380 00:21:00,840 --> 00:21:03,977 But just so you know, he really did put a lot of work into it. 381 00:21:04,271 --> 00:21:06,117 You know, it means a lot to him. 382 00:21:11,138 --> 00:21:13,140 Are you and my son a thing? 383 00:21:14,043 --> 00:21:15,234 What? 384 00:21:16,117 --> 00:21:17,245 No, we're not. 385 00:21:17,309 --> 00:21:18,680 You sure? 386 00:21:19,086 --> 00:21:20,579 - You two are not a thing? - No. 387 00:21:20,711 --> 00:21:22,281 No, we're not. 388 00:21:22,347 --> 00:21:25,149 We're two separate things. We keep our things separate. 389 00:21:27,453 --> 00:21:29,149 Okay, but, uh... 390 00:21:29,669 --> 00:21:30,922 FYI... 391 00:21:32,003 --> 00:21:33,538 it's true what they say. 392 00:21:33,849 --> 00:21:36,452 Once you go half-black, you never... 393 00:21:42,753 --> 00:21:45,227 Actually, I don't know what happens after that. 394 00:21:46,972 --> 00:21:48,258 Okay. Look, I don't... 395 00:21:48,289 --> 00:21:50,209 I don't really have a stake in this, I'm just... 396 00:21:50,509 --> 00:21:54,258 Ugh. I don't know, I'm suggesting that you give him a chance. 397 00:21:54,346 --> 00:21:55,914 You know, acknowledge his efforts. 398 00:21:55,981 --> 00:21:59,785 Oh, you millennials, you're always asking for validation. 399 00:21:59,999 --> 00:22:02,235 Everybody gets a quidditch trophy. 400 00:22:06,061 --> 00:22:08,172 Does Travis know you're here? 401 00:22:08,241 --> 00:22:10,243 No, and, uh, please, don't tell him. 402 00:22:11,000 --> 00:22:12,875 Okay, so, this is what we're gonna do. 403 00:22:12,954 --> 00:22:15,490 I'll talk to him, you know, do the mother thing... 404 00:22:16,287 --> 00:22:17,855 and you'll start dating him. 405 00:22:18,172 --> 00:22:19,407 What? 406 00:22:19,832 --> 00:22:22,668 Well, Olivia, the other way around doesn't make sense. 407 00:22:24,175 --> 00:22:26,711 And to tell you the truth, you'd really be good for him. 408 00:22:27,904 --> 00:22:29,157 Okay. 409 00:22:29,347 --> 00:22:30,969 Well, that's... I mean... 410 00:22:31,373 --> 00:22:32,711 Who knows? 411 00:22:35,590 --> 00:22:36,985 Thank you. 412 00:22:37,355 --> 00:22:39,024 But who knows? 413 00:22:43,286 --> 00:22:44,555 Oh, I know. 414 00:22:53,038 --> 00:22:55,807 Hi, I'm Travis Feldman, from Ruth's Alternative Caring, 415 00:22:55,874 --> 00:22:59,478 and welcome to the first installment of Strain O' the Day. 416 00:22:59,718 --> 00:23:01,140 - Pete? - Travis. 417 00:23:01,758 --> 00:23:02,897 No, you go. 418 00:23:02,966 --> 00:23:04,532 Oh, okay. 419 00:23:04,758 --> 00:23:07,761 Today we have the very popular Blue Dream. 420 00:23:07,786 --> 00:23:12,457 But this one is an artisanal grow just in from Humboldt County. Take a look. 421 00:23:15,927 --> 00:23:18,730 As you can see, it has terpy nugs and trichomes 422 00:23:18,797 --> 00:23:22,534 that are capitate-stalked rather than bulbous or capitate-sessile. 423 00:23:24,590 --> 00:23:25,828 As you can see. 424 00:23:26,555 --> 00:23:30,108 Our Strain O' the Day offers a truly expansive and cerebral experience. 425 00:23:30,393 --> 00:23:32,328 Perfect for an early afternoon session. 426 00:23:32,511 --> 00:23:33,961 One, one-thirty. 427 00:23:35,447 --> 00:23:37,883 Probably 1:15 would be the best time for this strain. 428 00:23:38,102 --> 00:23:40,719 I could totally see myself smoking this at 1:15. 429 00:23:41,041 --> 00:23:43,243 So, come on down to Ruth's Alternative Caring, 430 00:23:43,358 --> 00:23:45,328 because when it comes to healing... 431 00:23:45,900 --> 00:23:47,133 See you soon. 432 00:23:50,863 --> 00:23:52,680 Thank you. Happy medicating. 433 00:23:56,001 --> 00:23:57,242 Travis. 434 00:23:57,502 --> 00:24:00,266 I want you to know I'm still opposed to this document 435 00:24:00,390 --> 00:24:02,025 and everything it represents. 436 00:24:02,510 --> 00:24:03,687 But... 437 00:24:03,900 --> 00:24:05,335 I admire your initiative... 438 00:24:05,702 --> 00:24:08,102 and therefore, I've decided to actually read it. 439 00:24:09,897 --> 00:24:11,732 - Stoned? - You have my word. 440 00:24:13,954 --> 00:24:15,289 Did Olivia talk to you? 441 00:24:16,026 --> 00:24:17,492 Absolutely not. 442 00:24:18,012 --> 00:24:19,383 If anything, she didn't. 443 00:24:22,461 --> 00:24:25,931 Ruth, I... I just wanna thank you. I'm ready to go out into the world, and... 444 00:24:25,997 --> 00:24:28,767 And be a mother to my children, a wife to my husband. 445 00:24:28,792 --> 00:24:29,867 I mean, who knows? 446 00:24:29,907 --> 00:24:31,903 The mister might even get a handy tonight. 447 00:24:34,331 --> 00:24:35,999 That's so nice. 448 00:24:38,434 --> 00:24:41,370 Here, have some cannabis massage oil, on the house. 449 00:24:41,847 --> 00:24:43,125 Will it make him high? 450 00:24:43,240 --> 00:24:44,508 Just his penis. 451 00:24:47,485 --> 00:24:48,649 You see, Travis? 452 00:24:48,735 --> 00:24:52,891 Nothing will ever replace the intimacy of person-to-person interaction. 453 00:24:53,032 --> 00:24:56,561 And all I wanna do is get more people in here for you to interact with. 454 00:24:56,828 --> 00:24:58,830 Travis, you have to understand, 455 00:24:58,897 --> 00:25:02,539 I've spent my entire life fighting the Man. 456 00:25:02,977 --> 00:25:05,646 The last thing I wanna do is become the Man. 457 00:25:05,704 --> 00:25:06,805 Why? 458 00:25:06,872 --> 00:25:08,711 You know there'll always be a Man. 459 00:25:09,541 --> 00:25:11,063 Why can't he be us? 460 00:25:12,510 --> 00:25:14,412 Because then who would I be mad at? 461 00:25:16,583 --> 00:25:17,992 Well, no one. 462 00:25:18,223 --> 00:25:19,539 You'd be happy. 463 00:25:20,585 --> 00:25:21,992 I don't understand. 464 00:25:23,150 --> 00:25:24,946 Let me try it a different way. 465 00:25:25,938 --> 00:25:27,594 If you became the Man... 466 00:25:27,909 --> 00:25:29,577 you wouldn't be the Man... 467 00:25:30,070 --> 00:25:31,905 'cause you'd be the Woman. 468 00:25:32,682 --> 00:25:34,500 I mean, think about it. A woman... 469 00:25:35,550 --> 00:25:37,785 but with the power of a man. 470 00:25:40,014 --> 00:25:42,916 Jesus Christ, that's just offensive. 471 00:25:44,406 --> 00:25:46,500 Yeah, uh-huh, I heard it when I said it. 472 00:25:47,622 --> 00:25:50,424 Look, all I'm asking for you is to just trust me a little. 473 00:25:51,403 --> 00:25:52,742 I can do a little. 474 00:25:53,771 --> 00:25:54,946 Thanks. 475 00:25:55,279 --> 00:25:56,359 I love you. 476 00:25:56,393 --> 00:25:57,500 I love you, too. 477 00:25:57,589 --> 00:25:58,742 Come here. 478 00:26:01,780 --> 00:26:03,726 I think you could bang Olivia. 479 00:27:03,126 --> 00:27:04,444 No, no, no.