1 00:00:30,031 --> 00:00:33,032 MERRIMAN: Oh, God help us. 2 00:00:33,034 --> 00:00:34,699 Did you hear Miss Norah screaming? 3 00:00:34,701 --> 00:00:36,535 And Mrs. Trotter yelling. 4 00:00:36,537 --> 00:00:38,870 Well! And the swearing. 5 00:00:38,872 --> 00:00:40,539 You've never heard nothing like it. 6 00:00:40,541 --> 00:00:42,974 I heard it all, Mary. I just told you. 7 00:00:42,976 --> 00:00:44,709 "Get out! Clear out!" she was yelling. 8 00:00:44,711 --> 00:00:46,045 Only not so ladylike. 9 00:00:46,047 --> 00:00:48,213 "Out! Out! Out! You're no husband of mine no more." 10 00:00:48,215 --> 00:00:49,714 I heard. I heard. 11 00:00:49,716 --> 00:00:51,550 "And take your bitch of a sister..." 12 00:00:51,552 --> 00:00:52,717 Sorry for the language, 13 00:00:52,719 --> 00:00:54,053 but I'm only reporting the facts... 14 00:00:54,055 --> 00:00:56,055 "And take your bitch of a sister with you," she said. 15 00:00:56,057 --> 00:00:57,222 Yes, I heard. 16 00:00:57,224 --> 00:00:59,724 Ooh, you've never heard nothing like it. 17 00:00:59,726 --> 00:01:00,825 Mr. Merriman? 18 00:01:00,827 --> 00:01:01,993 Well, what now? 19 00:01:01,995 --> 00:01:03,828 When Mr. Trotter shouted, 20 00:01:03,830 --> 00:01:05,997 "How can you run the hotel without us?" 21 00:01:05,999 --> 00:01:08,333 She said, "The hotel can go to hell." 22 00:01:08,335 --> 00:01:10,335 Yes, I heard. 23 00:01:10,337 --> 00:01:13,338 Well, I was wondering about that, really. 24 00:01:13,340 --> 00:01:15,840 I wondered about it for the rest of the night. 25 00:01:15,842 --> 00:01:17,842 Mr. Merriman, what would happen to us? 26 00:01:17,844 --> 00:01:19,644 We'd be out in the street. 27 00:01:19,646 --> 00:01:21,180 We would indeed. 28 00:01:21,182 --> 00:01:22,514 Well? 29 00:01:22,516 --> 00:01:23,682 Well what? 30 00:01:23,684 --> 00:01:25,016 Well, what would happen then? 31 00:01:25,018 --> 00:01:26,351 Well, we'd be out on the street. 32 00:01:26,353 --> 00:01:28,353 Street's full of people out on the street. 33 00:01:28,355 --> 00:01:29,688 Oh, Mr. Merriman, I... 34 00:01:29,690 --> 00:01:31,356 Now, if I was a clairvoyant, miss, 35 00:01:31,358 --> 00:01:33,358 I'd never have become a headwaiter in the first place. 36 00:01:33,360 --> 00:01:35,194 Well, you won't be that for much longer. 37 00:01:35,196 --> 00:01:36,361 Oh, thank you. 38 00:01:36,363 --> 00:01:38,029 Even if I found new employment, you wouldn't. 39 00:01:38,031 --> 00:01:39,698 You're too old. You're very old. 40 00:01:39,700 --> 00:01:41,366 There aren't many who are older. 41 00:01:41,368 --> 00:01:42,534 Thank you again. 42 00:01:42,536 --> 00:01:44,035 I'll take her a cup of tea. 43 00:01:44,037 --> 00:01:45,204 Oh, let her sleep. 44 00:01:45,206 --> 00:01:47,639 She's been up half the night swearing. 45 00:01:49,276 --> 00:01:51,042 4, 9. 46 00:01:51,044 --> 00:01:54,546 Carry the 1, which makes it... 47 00:01:54,548 --> 00:01:56,381 For crying out loud. 48 00:01:56,383 --> 00:01:59,050 22, 25... 49 00:01:59,052 --> 00:02:00,219 2 is... 50 00:02:00,221 --> 00:02:03,188 God help us. 51 00:02:03,190 --> 00:02:04,990 2 and... 52 00:02:04,992 --> 00:02:08,494 Morning, Mary; Merriman. 53 00:02:08,496 --> 00:02:09,661 Good morning, ma'am. 54 00:02:09,663 --> 00:02:11,330 You're up early, ma'am. 55 00:02:11,332 --> 00:02:13,665 Tea in the pot. Help yourself. 56 00:02:13,667 --> 00:02:15,667 Thank you. Good morning. 57 00:02:15,669 --> 00:02:17,669 Both sleep soundly, did you? 58 00:02:17,671 --> 00:02:18,837 Undisturbed? 59 00:02:18,839 --> 00:02:19,904 Yes, ma'am. 60 00:02:19,906 --> 00:02:21,406 Yes, ma'am. 61 00:02:21,408 --> 00:02:23,208 Both deaf as doorposts, then, are you? 62 00:02:23,210 --> 00:02:24,510 Yes, ma'am. 63 00:02:24,512 --> 00:02:26,011 Sit down. I can't talk too loud. 64 00:02:26,013 --> 00:02:28,180 Me voice had a busy night. 65 00:02:31,352 --> 00:02:32,518 LOUISA: Now, then, 66 00:02:32,520 --> 00:02:35,187 while you was both snoring in your beds 67 00:02:35,189 --> 00:02:36,988 like good Christians... 68 00:02:36,990 --> 00:02:38,690 or standing listening at your doors 69 00:02:38,692 --> 00:02:40,192 like hotel staff usually do... 70 00:02:40,194 --> 00:02:41,527 whichever the case may be, 71 00:02:41,529 --> 00:02:43,529 there was a bit of a barney 72 00:02:43,531 --> 00:02:45,197 which ended with my husband 73 00:02:45,199 --> 00:02:47,199 and his dear sister deciding to leave, 74 00:02:47,201 --> 00:02:49,768 for good, by the scruffs of their bleeding necks. 75 00:02:49,770 --> 00:02:51,703 Anyway, that was last night. 76 00:02:51,705 --> 00:02:52,871 It's been and gone, 77 00:02:52,873 --> 00:02:54,206 so we won't worry about it no more... 78 00:02:54,208 --> 00:02:55,707 especially since we got today to worry about 79 00:02:55,709 --> 00:02:58,210 and tomorrow and every day after that. 80 00:02:58,212 --> 00:03:00,212 Well, that's your hors d'oeuvre. 81 00:03:00,214 --> 00:03:03,649 The main course is a bit harder to swallow. 82 00:03:03,651 --> 00:03:05,984 I'm closing the hotel. 83 00:03:05,986 --> 00:03:07,986 Eh? 84 00:03:07,988 --> 00:03:10,522 Yes, ma'am. Thank you, ma'am. 85 00:03:10,524 --> 00:03:12,658 See these? 86 00:03:12,660 --> 00:03:16,495 Bills, all 2,819 pounds' worth. 87 00:03:16,497 --> 00:03:18,330 Run up in a few short months 88 00:03:18,332 --> 00:03:19,498 by my husband... 89 00:03:19,500 --> 00:03:20,999 former husband as of now... 90 00:03:21,001 --> 00:03:22,501 and his cow of a sister. 91 00:03:22,503 --> 00:03:23,669 You wouldn't think 92 00:03:23,671 --> 00:03:25,170 it was humanly possible, would you? 93 00:03:25,172 --> 00:03:26,338 No, ma'am. 94 00:03:26,340 --> 00:03:27,673 Well, seems it is. 95 00:03:27,675 --> 00:03:29,341 So if you accidentally heard 96 00:03:29,343 --> 00:03:31,009 some ripe language last night, 97 00:03:31,011 --> 00:03:32,678 you know the reason why. 98 00:03:32,680 --> 00:03:34,012 And all I've got to do now 99 00:03:34,014 --> 00:03:35,880 is pay it off... every penny. 100 00:03:35,882 --> 00:03:38,016 But, ma'am, if you're closing the hotel, 101 00:03:38,018 --> 00:03:39,918 how can you pay? I mean, what can you... 102 00:03:39,920 --> 00:03:42,187 work...just work, I suppose, damn hard; 103 00:03:42,189 --> 00:03:44,690 harder than I've ever worked in me life, 104 00:03:44,692 --> 00:03:46,024 with tea and toast for dinner 105 00:03:46,026 --> 00:03:48,059 and me next new dress the day it's all paid off. 106 00:03:48,061 --> 00:03:50,195 But, ma'am, you've got friends; people of means. 107 00:03:50,197 --> 00:03:52,397 Won't any of them offer to assist in your... 108 00:03:52,399 --> 00:03:54,199 yes, I should think they most certainly will. 109 00:03:54,201 --> 00:03:55,701 MARY: Oh, thank God, ma'am. 110 00:03:55,703 --> 00:03:57,035 And when they do, I just say no. 111 00:03:57,037 --> 00:03:58,704 I turn them down flat, don't I? 112 00:03:58,706 --> 00:03:59,871 Will you, ma'am? 113 00:03:59,873 --> 00:04:01,306 LOUISA: Yeah. There's not much point 114 00:04:01,308 --> 00:04:02,807 in swapping one debt for another. 115 00:04:02,809 --> 00:04:04,309 But I'm talking about friends, ma'am. 116 00:04:04,311 --> 00:04:05,977 That's right. So am I. 117 00:04:05,979 --> 00:04:07,646 It just can't be done, Mrs. Trotter. 118 00:04:07,648 --> 00:04:09,314 Nearly 3,000 pounds? 119 00:04:09,316 --> 00:04:11,316 I never knew there were that many pounds, 120 00:04:11,318 --> 00:04:12,651 even in England. 121 00:04:12,653 --> 00:04:15,654 24 pound a year I get per annum. 122 00:04:15,656 --> 00:04:17,989 It'd take me all my life; longer. 123 00:04:17,991 --> 00:04:19,991 I'd be older than Mr. Merriman. 124 00:04:19,993 --> 00:04:22,160 I still don't know how we're gonna do it. 125 00:04:22,162 --> 00:04:23,495 What we'll have to do is... 126 00:04:23,497 --> 00:04:24,663 LOUISA: We? 127 00:04:24,665 --> 00:04:25,897 Us. 128 00:04:25,899 --> 00:04:27,332 Well, me and you, ma'am, anyway. 129 00:04:27,334 --> 00:04:28,833 I didn't think of you staying on, Mary... 130 00:04:28,835 --> 00:04:30,001 either of you. 131 00:04:30,003 --> 00:04:32,504 Well, I got nowhere else to go. 132 00:04:32,506 --> 00:04:35,006 Anyway, I'd like to help if I could. 133 00:04:35,008 --> 00:04:37,008 Thank you, Mary. 134 00:04:37,010 --> 00:04:39,844 So you shall, then. So you shall. 135 00:04:39,846 --> 00:04:41,012 MARY: Good. 136 00:04:41,014 --> 00:04:42,347 I still don't know what doing. 137 00:04:42,349 --> 00:04:43,682 Help you do what? 138 00:04:43,684 --> 00:04:45,016 Well, now, you've seen the ladies 139 00:04:45,018 --> 00:04:47,319 promenading up and down in the street outside 140 00:04:47,321 --> 00:04:49,521 every night, all night. 141 00:04:49,523 --> 00:04:50,889 Streetwalkers? 142 00:04:50,891 --> 00:04:52,023 Tarts, yeah. 143 00:04:52,025 --> 00:04:53,358 Well, they sell the only commodity 144 00:04:53,360 --> 00:04:54,693 they've got to sell, don't they? 145 00:04:54,695 --> 00:04:56,928 Right. We'll do the same. 146 00:04:56,930 --> 00:04:58,196 Oh, ma'am, I... 147 00:04:58,198 --> 00:04:59,864 I...I don't think I could. 148 00:04:59,866 --> 00:05:01,900 I mean, well, I've always been a... 149 00:05:01,902 --> 00:05:04,369 we'll sell our only commodity. 150 00:05:04,371 --> 00:05:05,804 That's what I'm saying, ma'am. 151 00:05:05,806 --> 00:05:07,105 I don't think I could. 152 00:05:07,107 --> 00:05:08,640 Mary! 153 00:05:08,642 --> 00:05:10,442 Who's the best cook in London? 154 00:05:10,444 --> 00:05:11,976 Cook? Cook. 155 00:05:11,978 --> 00:05:13,044 You are, ma'am. 156 00:05:13,046 --> 00:05:15,480 We'll cook all the hours God sends us 157 00:05:15,482 --> 00:05:18,216 for anyone who wants us to and pay the right price. 158 00:05:18,218 --> 00:05:20,084 If they want a French banquet, they get a French banquet. 159 00:05:20,086 --> 00:05:21,986 They want fish and chips, they get fish and chips. 160 00:05:21,988 --> 00:05:25,657 And we'll earn the money... all 2,819 pounds. 161 00:05:25,659 --> 00:05:27,826 Even 2,820. 162 00:05:27,828 --> 00:05:31,496 And all without so much as even lifting your petticoats, Mary. 163 00:05:31,498 --> 00:05:32,997 Do you still want to stay? 164 00:05:32,999 --> 00:05:34,165 I suppose so. 165 00:05:34,167 --> 00:05:35,900 If you think we can, yes, please, ma'am. 166 00:05:35,902 --> 00:05:37,669 Good girl. You, too, Merriman? 167 00:05:37,671 --> 00:05:40,004 Oh, well, ma'am, there are one or two difficulties. 168 00:05:40,006 --> 00:05:41,172 As you know, I'm... 169 00:05:41,174 --> 00:05:42,841 stop being so awkward, you old misery. 170 00:05:42,843 --> 00:05:43,975 Course you'll stay. 171 00:05:43,977 --> 00:05:45,009 What? 172 00:05:45,011 --> 00:05:47,278 Who else is barmy enough to have you? 173 00:06:10,804 --> 00:06:12,136 Morning, Alf. Morning, ma'am. 174 00:06:12,138 --> 00:06:13,304 Got me stuff ready, then? 175 00:06:13,306 --> 00:06:14,473 Yes, ma'am. 176 00:06:14,475 --> 00:06:16,408 Good. Give it to Johnny. Ta. 177 00:06:44,971 --> 00:06:45,937 Morning. 178 00:07:03,857 --> 00:07:06,291 Oh, no. I thought I was too bleeding happy. 179 00:07:06,293 --> 00:07:07,626 Here we go again. 180 00:07:07,628 --> 00:07:08,960 Here we go again. 181 00:07:08,962 --> 00:07:10,629 That will do, snotty-nose. 182 00:07:10,631 --> 00:07:11,797 You said it. 183 00:07:11,799 --> 00:07:13,799 It's my privilege. I'm the gaffer. 184 00:07:13,801 --> 00:07:14,900 Come on. 185 00:07:24,144 --> 00:07:25,644 Good morning. 186 00:07:25,646 --> 00:07:27,312 Have mercy on the merchandise, 187 00:07:27,314 --> 00:07:28,580 Mrs. Trotter. 188 00:07:28,582 --> 00:07:30,181 That's done you no harm, has it? 189 00:07:30,183 --> 00:07:31,316 Now, what harm's 190 00:07:31,318 --> 00:07:32,818 that poor old chicken done you? 191 00:07:32,820 --> 00:07:35,487 Get no chance to, Ben Smythe. Won't be me eating it. 192 00:07:35,489 --> 00:07:37,155 Here, tell me, Mrs. Trotter. 193 00:07:37,157 --> 00:07:39,157 Why don't you never come after we've opened 194 00:07:39,159 --> 00:07:40,525 like everyone else does? 195 00:07:40,527 --> 00:07:42,160 No one comes every day at this time, 196 00:07:42,162 --> 00:07:43,328 heralding the bleeding dawn. 197 00:07:43,330 --> 00:07:44,496 I do. 198 00:07:44,498 --> 00:07:45,997 Oh, granted, you do, yeah. 199 00:07:45,999 --> 00:07:47,666 Here, come to think of it, 200 00:07:47,668 --> 00:07:49,167 I haven't seen you for a few days. 201 00:07:49,169 --> 00:07:50,502 I thought perhaps you'd been coming 202 00:07:50,504 --> 00:07:51,736 before I'd even got here. 203 00:07:51,738 --> 00:07:53,338 Tell me, Ben, if they're not fresh now, 204 00:07:53,340 --> 00:07:55,206 what are they gonna be like when you do open? 205 00:07:55,208 --> 00:07:56,741 Not fresh?! 206 00:07:56,743 --> 00:07:58,443 Put your cap over your ears, Jamie. 207 00:07:58,445 --> 00:07:59,978 I think he's gonna start blinding. 208 00:07:59,980 --> 00:08:02,280 They're the freshest in the market, bar none. 209 00:08:02,282 --> 00:08:03,448 Oh, yeah? 210 00:08:03,450 --> 00:08:05,216 Here, you like a bargain, don't you? 211 00:08:05,218 --> 00:08:06,384 I'm listening. 212 00:08:06,386 --> 00:08:07,786 How about a quick kiss and a cuddle 213 00:08:07,788 --> 00:08:09,087 round the back of the next stall? 214 00:08:09,089 --> 00:08:10,455 And while we're round there, 215 00:08:10,457 --> 00:08:11,957 I'll nick you the finest cauliflower 216 00:08:11,959 --> 00:08:13,291 this side of the Bermondsey Flower Show. 217 00:08:13,293 --> 00:08:15,293 Nobody kisses and cuddles this time of the morning, 218 00:08:15,295 --> 00:08:16,995 at least not for a bleeding cauliflower. 219 00:08:22,369 --> 00:08:24,135 How much are the quail? 220 00:08:24,137 --> 00:08:26,137 A tanner... cheapest in the market. 221 00:08:26,139 --> 00:08:27,606 Tanner for two, eh? 222 00:08:27,608 --> 00:08:29,307 For one. 223 00:08:29,309 --> 00:08:31,543 Here, tomorrow morning, fetch the police. 224 00:08:33,981 --> 00:08:36,147 The cheapest and the freshest? 225 00:08:36,149 --> 00:08:37,816 That bird, an hour ago, 226 00:08:37,818 --> 00:08:39,818 was looking forward to a long and happy life. 227 00:08:39,820 --> 00:08:41,219 Poor sod. Whoa! 228 00:08:41,221 --> 00:08:42,487 Oh, God. 229 00:08:42,489 --> 00:08:44,489 For a minute, I thought it was still alive and kicking. 230 00:08:44,491 --> 00:08:45,824 I'll give you 4 pence. 231 00:08:45,826 --> 00:08:46,858 4 pence? 232 00:08:46,860 --> 00:08:48,059 4 pence. 233 00:08:48,061 --> 00:08:49,160 Mrs. Trotter, 234 00:08:49,162 --> 00:08:51,496 I've got a wife and God knows how many kids. 235 00:08:51,498 --> 00:08:52,564 I lose count. 236 00:08:52,566 --> 00:08:54,098 4 pence, Ben. 237 00:08:56,670 --> 00:08:58,003 Get 'em ready, Jamie. 238 00:08:58,005 --> 00:08:59,938 She's got that look on her face again. 239 00:09:01,441 --> 00:09:03,107 Thank you, Ben. You're a gentleman. 240 00:09:03,109 --> 00:09:04,776 I'll take half a dozen. 241 00:09:04,778 --> 00:09:06,110 And the best cauliflower 242 00:09:06,112 --> 00:09:07,445 from the Bermondsey Flower Show 243 00:09:07,447 --> 00:09:08,647 from the back of the next stall, 244 00:09:08,649 --> 00:09:10,381 and I'll stop here while you get it. 245 00:09:15,121 --> 00:09:17,622 Have you gone barmy, Mrs. Trotter? 246 00:09:17,624 --> 00:09:19,290 Or do you think I have? I mean, which is it? 247 00:09:19,292 --> 00:09:20,458 All I said... 248 00:09:20,460 --> 00:09:21,960 I know damn well what you said. 249 00:09:21,962 --> 00:09:23,294 You want me to buy from you 250 00:09:23,296 --> 00:09:25,129 when you're already up to the eyebrows in debt 251 00:09:25,131 --> 00:09:26,297 with what you bought from me. 252 00:09:26,299 --> 00:09:28,099 I know I am. That's why I'm suggesting it. 253 00:09:28,101 --> 00:09:31,135 In fact, I'll tell you how much you're in debt 254 00:09:31,137 --> 00:09:32,503 just to prove I'm not barmy. 255 00:09:32,505 --> 00:09:36,140 I can tell you how much: 28 pounds, 7 shillings. 256 00:09:36,142 --> 00:09:37,976 One moment, young woman. 257 00:09:37,978 --> 00:09:41,279 Have patience for one moment. 258 00:09:43,984 --> 00:09:45,316 28 pounds, 7 shillings. 259 00:09:45,318 --> 00:09:46,651 Right. Thank you. 260 00:09:46,653 --> 00:09:48,653 Now, in the absence of an apology, 261 00:09:48,655 --> 00:09:50,488 perhaps you'd be so good as to give me a hearing. 262 00:09:50,490 --> 00:09:51,656 Mrs. Trotter... 263 00:09:51,658 --> 00:09:53,324 All I'm suggesting is a way to pay it off, 264 00:09:53,326 --> 00:09:55,860 since I can't pay it off with money. 265 00:09:55,862 --> 00:09:57,696 Oh, I see. 266 00:09:57,698 --> 00:09:58,997 No money changes hands. 267 00:09:58,999 --> 00:10:00,164 What I sell you, 268 00:10:00,166 --> 00:10:01,499 you just knock off me bill. 269 00:10:01,501 --> 00:10:03,501 Oh, you do get excited, don't you? 270 00:10:03,503 --> 00:10:05,670 No wonder you've got gout. 271 00:10:05,672 --> 00:10:09,207 Now, how much do you charge your customers for quail? 272 00:10:09,209 --> 00:10:11,175 Half a crown, cooked. 273 00:10:11,177 --> 00:10:13,511 Hmm. Make a nice profit there, don't you? 274 00:10:13,513 --> 00:10:14,846 We do have overheads. 275 00:10:14,848 --> 00:10:16,347 How does this sound to you? 276 00:10:16,349 --> 00:10:18,349 Two bob cooked, shilling raw. 277 00:10:18,351 --> 00:10:20,785 What? Two shillings, cooked by you? 278 00:10:20,787 --> 00:10:22,020 So if you charge two and a penny, 279 00:10:22,022 --> 00:10:23,354 you're still making a profit, aren't you? 280 00:10:23,356 --> 00:10:24,889 All you have to do is hand them over the counter. 281 00:10:24,891 --> 00:10:26,357 And you'd be doing the cooking? 282 00:10:26,359 --> 00:10:27,692 With me own clever hands. 283 00:10:27,694 --> 00:10:29,360 Taste better than yours, won't they? 284 00:10:29,362 --> 00:10:30,762 How many can I have? 285 00:10:30,764 --> 00:10:31,863 Half a dozen. 286 00:10:31,865 --> 00:10:33,197 You can have them by teatime. 287 00:10:33,199 --> 00:10:35,199 You'll charge two and bloody 7, won't you? 288 00:10:35,201 --> 00:10:37,102 WOMAN: Young man, you don't understand. 289 00:10:37,104 --> 00:10:38,202 We've none left. 290 00:10:38,204 --> 00:10:39,537 What do you mean, you've none left? 291 00:10:39,539 --> 00:10:41,039 It's just that we've none left, Mrs. Caradine. 292 00:10:41,041 --> 00:10:42,206 I'm sorry. 293 00:10:42,208 --> 00:10:44,042 What good is sorry, young man? 294 00:10:44,044 --> 00:10:46,044 How many mouths do I feed with sorry? 295 00:10:46,046 --> 00:10:47,612 I demand to see the manager. 296 00:10:47,614 --> 00:10:49,047 "I demand to see the manager." 297 00:10:49,049 --> 00:10:51,215 It's beginning to sound like a musical chorus. 298 00:10:51,217 --> 00:10:53,018 Trouble? Every day. 299 00:10:53,020 --> 00:10:56,220 Uh, Mr. Mather... 300 00:10:56,222 --> 00:10:57,555 It's Lord Ealing's housekeeper. 301 00:10:57,557 --> 00:10:58,723 If she wasn't in, 302 00:10:58,725 --> 00:11:00,224 she'd be somebody else in, wouldn't she? 303 00:11:00,226 --> 00:11:01,325 She's going potty 304 00:11:01,327 --> 00:11:02,661 'cause we've sold out of veal and ham pies. 305 00:11:02,663 --> 00:11:04,495 I'm a regular customer. Tell him. 306 00:11:04,497 --> 00:11:07,431 Yes, Mrs. Caradine, and most highly valued. 307 00:11:09,402 --> 00:11:11,670 I'm so very sorry, madam, 308 00:11:11,672 --> 00:11:13,404 but we're always sold out by this time. 309 00:11:13,406 --> 00:11:14,673 We just can't make enough... 310 00:11:14,675 --> 00:11:15,974 It's every day the same. 311 00:11:15,976 --> 00:11:18,176 Well, yes, madam. That's what I'm saying. 312 00:11:18,178 --> 00:11:19,678 Well, it's not good enough, is it? 313 00:11:19,680 --> 00:11:21,179 Perhaps if you could call earlier. 314 00:11:21,181 --> 00:11:23,014 Perhaps if you could save me some. 315 00:11:23,016 --> 00:11:24,348 Oh, I'm sorry, madam, 316 00:11:24,350 --> 00:11:26,017 but that's what everyone asks me to do. 317 00:11:26,019 --> 00:11:28,619 There's nothing more to be said, then, is there? 318 00:11:28,621 --> 00:11:30,021 I apologize. 319 00:11:30,023 --> 00:11:31,189 [sighs] 320 00:11:31,191 --> 00:11:32,523 Will that be all, then, madam? 321 00:11:32,525 --> 00:11:34,192 Have to be, won't it? 322 00:11:34,194 --> 00:11:35,459 Excuse me. 323 00:11:37,197 --> 00:11:39,564 That's, uh, the turkey, a ham, 324 00:11:39,566 --> 00:11:41,866 the sausages, and the figs. 325 00:11:41,868 --> 00:11:43,367 That'll be 34 and sixpence. 326 00:11:43,369 --> 00:11:45,704 The driver will deliver within the hour. 327 00:11:45,706 --> 00:11:47,872 So half a dozen quail, two bob each, 328 00:11:47,874 --> 00:11:49,708 is 12 shillings off me bill, right? 329 00:11:49,710 --> 00:11:51,142 Uh, yes. Yes. Agreed. 330 00:11:51,144 --> 00:11:53,578 Not the most satisfied of customers, eh? 331 00:11:53,580 --> 00:11:56,715 Oh, I'm in the wrong trade for that. 332 00:11:56,717 --> 00:11:58,216 I'd have to be a magician. 333 00:11:58,218 --> 00:11:59,718 Why don't you be, then? 334 00:11:59,720 --> 00:12:00,852 Eh? 335 00:12:00,854 --> 00:12:02,153 You could have veal and ham pies 336 00:12:02,155 --> 00:12:03,822 coming out of Mrs. Caradine's hat... 337 00:12:03,824 --> 00:12:05,590 and her bloomers, too, by way of an encore. 338 00:12:05,592 --> 00:12:07,158 What are you talking about? 339 00:12:07,160 --> 00:12:08,492 Pies... veal and ham pies; 340 00:12:08,494 --> 00:12:10,161 pork pies; what you like. 341 00:12:10,163 --> 00:12:11,662 You're not selling those as well? 342 00:12:11,664 --> 00:12:12,997 As many as you like. 343 00:12:12,999 --> 00:12:14,498 I buy the veal, the pork, the ham. 344 00:12:14,500 --> 00:12:15,666 I bake the pies. 345 00:12:15,668 --> 00:12:17,668 All you do Mr. Mather is smile at your customers; 346 00:12:17,670 --> 00:12:19,003 knock 'em off me bill. 347 00:12:19,005 --> 00:12:20,371 Well, I'd need hundreds. 348 00:12:20,373 --> 00:12:22,640 Hundreds you shall have. Thousands'd be better. 349 00:12:24,344 --> 00:12:25,509 How much a pie? 350 00:12:25,511 --> 00:12:26,677 What weight? 351 00:12:26,679 --> 00:12:29,280 Oh, a pound, say... veal and ham. 352 00:12:29,282 --> 00:12:30,815 11 pence, ha'penny. 353 00:12:30,817 --> 00:12:32,250 9 pence. 354 00:12:32,252 --> 00:12:35,253 I can't go a farthing under 11 pence, ha'penny. 355 00:12:35,255 --> 00:12:38,156 And I can't go a farthing over 9 pence. 356 00:12:38,158 --> 00:12:39,858 Good day, then, Mr. Mather. 357 00:12:39,860 --> 00:12:41,525 The quail will be ready as arranged 358 00:12:41,527 --> 00:12:44,362 if Mr. Ellis has time to collect them. 359 00:12:44,364 --> 00:12:45,363 10 pence, farthing. 360 00:12:47,700 --> 00:12:48,867 Done. 361 00:12:48,869 --> 00:12:50,368 10 pence, ha'penny. 362 00:12:50,370 --> 00:12:51,702 You said done. 363 00:12:51,704 --> 00:12:53,037 Mr. Mather, 364 00:12:53,039 --> 00:12:55,373 we're not just talking about ordinary pies. 365 00:12:55,375 --> 00:12:58,509 We're talking about Louisa Trotter's pies. 366 00:12:58,511 --> 00:13:00,044 Hmm. 367 00:13:00,046 --> 00:13:01,612 10 pence, ha'penny, then. 368 00:13:01,614 --> 00:13:04,582 Oh, Mr. Mather, you do strike a hard bargain. 369 00:13:07,988 --> 00:13:10,955 ♪ Ta-ra-ra Boom-de-ay ♪ 370 00:13:10,957 --> 00:13:12,790 ♪ Ta-ra-ra Boom-de-ay ♪ 371 00:13:12,792 --> 00:13:14,192 ♪ Ta-ra-ra ♪ 372 00:13:14,194 --> 00:13:16,094 [sighs, then sniffs] 373 00:13:17,264 --> 00:13:19,630 ♪ Ta-ra-ra Boom-de-ay ♪ 374 00:13:19,632 --> 00:13:22,133 ♪ Ta-ra-ra Boom-de-ay ♪ 375 00:13:22,135 --> 00:13:24,068 [humming] 376 00:13:28,375 --> 00:13:31,009 ♪ Ta-ra-ra Boom-de-ay ♪ 377 00:13:31,011 --> 00:13:32,977 ♪ Ta-ra-ra Boom-de-ay ♪ 378 00:13:32,979 --> 00:13:34,045 ♪ Ta-ra-ra ♪ 379 00:13:38,051 --> 00:13:40,351 that's what I said, Mr. Merriman. 380 00:13:40,353 --> 00:13:41,685 What? In her sitting room? 381 00:13:41,687 --> 00:13:42,853 That's right. 382 00:13:42,855 --> 00:13:44,022 Then the small wardrobe 383 00:13:44,024 --> 00:13:45,356 and the tallboy likewise... 384 00:13:45,358 --> 00:13:46,690 all her bedroom stuff. 385 00:13:46,692 --> 00:13:48,026 Into the sitting room? 386 00:13:48,028 --> 00:13:49,360 Into the sitting room. 387 00:13:49,362 --> 00:13:51,195 Can you give me one sane reason why? 388 00:13:51,197 --> 00:13:53,031 Yes...because she said so. 389 00:13:53,033 --> 00:13:55,033 I should leave you to handle the rest, 390 00:13:55,035 --> 00:13:56,534 'cause I should be in the kitchen. 391 00:13:56,536 --> 00:13:58,536 I'm only a woman. You're a man. 392 00:13:58,538 --> 00:14:01,472 I'm an old man, Mary... a very old man. 393 00:14:01,474 --> 00:14:04,142 I should be lying on a bed at this time of day, 394 00:14:04,144 --> 00:14:05,977 not carting it up and down stairs. 395 00:14:05,979 --> 00:14:07,478 Well, you did have a sitdown halfway 396 00:14:07,480 --> 00:14:08,813 to get your breath back. 397 00:14:08,815 --> 00:14:11,482 Yes. Well, I'm a waiter, not a furniture remover. 398 00:14:11,484 --> 00:14:13,818 Well, that must have been in a previous life... 399 00:14:13,820 --> 00:14:15,253 two months ago. 400 00:14:23,663 --> 00:14:25,096 MERRIMAN: Excuse me, ma'am. 401 00:14:26,666 --> 00:14:27,999 Excuse me, ma'am. 402 00:14:28,001 --> 00:14:29,334 Yeah? What is it? 403 00:14:29,336 --> 00:14:31,336 Your bedroom furniture's been removed 404 00:14:31,338 --> 00:14:33,338 to your sitting room, as instructed. 405 00:14:33,340 --> 00:14:34,572 Yeah? What of it? 406 00:14:34,574 --> 00:14:36,040 Which means your bedroom has no furniture in it 407 00:14:36,042 --> 00:14:38,343 and your sitting room has your sitting room furniture 408 00:14:38,345 --> 00:14:40,345 and your bedroom furniture in it. 409 00:14:40,347 --> 00:14:43,348 Merriman, if I sleep downstairs, 410 00:14:43,350 --> 00:14:45,350 I can spend more time in the kitchen. 411 00:14:45,352 --> 00:14:46,684 And the more time I spend in the kitchen, 412 00:14:46,686 --> 00:14:48,186 the sooner I can get back to sleeping 413 00:14:48,188 --> 00:14:49,687 in me bedroom. 414 00:14:49,689 --> 00:14:51,356 Sunk in yet, has it? 415 00:14:51,358 --> 00:14:52,523 Hey? 416 00:14:52,525 --> 00:14:53,691 Sunk in? 417 00:14:53,693 --> 00:14:55,193 No. Well, it wouldn't, would it? 418 00:14:55,195 --> 00:14:56,527 You're not a woman. 419 00:14:56,529 --> 00:14:58,863 Are you taking a little holiday, Mary? 420 00:14:58,865 --> 00:15:00,231 Oh, sorry, ma'am. 421 00:15:06,639 --> 00:15:08,473 MERRIMAN: Ma'am? Excuse me, ma'am. 422 00:15:08,475 --> 00:15:09,740 Yeah? What is it? 423 00:15:09,742 --> 00:15:11,142 It's your parents, ma'am... 424 00:15:11,144 --> 00:15:12,310 Mr. And Mrs. Leyton. 425 00:15:12,312 --> 00:15:13,478 What? Here? 426 00:15:13,480 --> 00:15:14,645 In the hall. 427 00:15:14,647 --> 00:15:16,247 Ooh, blimey. 428 00:15:18,651 --> 00:15:20,651 Mary, make a pot of tea, luv... 429 00:15:20,653 --> 00:15:22,320 tea and biscuits. 430 00:15:22,322 --> 00:15:24,889 Dump 'em in my room. There's a dear. 431 00:15:24,891 --> 00:15:28,993 He's such a good husband, Louisa...or was. 432 00:15:28,995 --> 00:15:30,328 He adores you. 433 00:15:30,330 --> 00:15:32,663 Yeah. Makes it all the worse, doesn't it? 434 00:15:32,665 --> 00:15:35,333 He should never have come sniveling to you. 435 00:15:35,335 --> 00:15:37,335 I think it was his sister's idea. 436 00:15:37,337 --> 00:15:39,003 Yeah. Everything's his sister's idea. 437 00:15:39,005 --> 00:15:40,838 Did she tell him to tell you 438 00:15:40,840 --> 00:15:42,340 what a bitch I am? 439 00:15:42,342 --> 00:15:45,343 MRS. LEYTON: He just seemed to apologize, mostly. 440 00:15:45,345 --> 00:15:47,678 Louisa, you can't pay it all off. 441 00:15:47,680 --> 00:15:49,347 You can't do the impossible... 442 00:15:49,349 --> 00:15:50,681 not on your own. 443 00:15:50,683 --> 00:15:52,183 I'm not on me own, am I? 444 00:15:52,185 --> 00:15:53,518 I don't count servants. 445 00:15:53,520 --> 00:15:54,618 Well, I do. 446 00:15:56,523 --> 00:15:58,189 Hasn't, um... 447 00:15:58,191 --> 00:15:59,857 Hasn't he offered to help? 448 00:15:59,859 --> 00:16:00,958 He? 449 00:16:00,960 --> 00:16:03,961 You know, your, um, old friend. 450 00:16:03,963 --> 00:16:05,129 Who's that, then? 451 00:16:05,131 --> 00:16:06,464 The king, girl. 452 00:16:06,466 --> 00:16:07,965 If Edward knew the trouble... 453 00:16:07,967 --> 00:16:09,133 his majesty. 454 00:16:09,135 --> 00:16:10,301 Oh, his majesty. 455 00:16:10,303 --> 00:16:11,502 Surely, if he knew the trouble you was in... 456 00:16:11,504 --> 00:16:13,137 Yeah, he's offered. He's written to me... 457 00:16:13,139 --> 00:16:15,005 well, his equerry has... 2 or 3 times. 458 00:16:15,007 --> 00:16:16,140 Oh, there you are. 459 00:16:16,142 --> 00:16:17,442 Then everything's all right. I told you, Vi. 460 00:16:17,444 --> 00:16:19,977 Mum, dad, I want no one's help. 461 00:16:19,979 --> 00:16:21,645 If he hadn't helped me in the first place, 462 00:16:21,647 --> 00:16:23,647 I wouldn't need help now. 463 00:16:23,649 --> 00:16:26,384 Anyway, needing's different from wanting. 464 00:16:26,386 --> 00:16:27,651 I'll be beholden to no one. 465 00:16:27,653 --> 00:16:28,719 Louisa... 466 00:16:28,721 --> 00:16:29,820 And don't you start 467 00:16:29,822 --> 00:16:30,988 putting your hand in your pocket, dad. 468 00:16:30,990 --> 00:16:32,156 You can't afford it, 469 00:16:32,158 --> 00:16:33,724 and I wouldn't take it from you anyhow. 470 00:16:33,726 --> 00:16:34,825 No. 471 00:16:34,827 --> 00:16:36,827 Yeah, well, we, um... 472 00:16:36,829 --> 00:16:38,629 We thought you'd want to be independent. 473 00:16:38,631 --> 00:16:39,797 You always were. 474 00:16:39,799 --> 00:16:41,832 Yes, but we still wanted to come and see you... 475 00:16:41,834 --> 00:16:45,002 you know, it being Christmas eve and everything... 476 00:16:45,004 --> 00:16:47,671 to, well, because... 477 00:16:47,673 --> 00:16:49,340 Because we were worried about you. 478 00:16:49,342 --> 00:16:51,842 That's it. We was worried how you was keeping, 479 00:16:51,844 --> 00:16:54,212 since we hadn't heard from you for so long... 480 00:16:54,214 --> 00:16:55,846 you know, ages and ages. 481 00:16:55,848 --> 00:16:57,515 Yeah, I know. I'm sorry, mum. 482 00:16:57,517 --> 00:16:58,849 I've been up to me eyes in it. 483 00:16:58,851 --> 00:17:00,851 I will write, you know, like I used to... 484 00:17:00,853 --> 00:17:03,121 Ages and ages and ages. 485 00:17:03,123 --> 00:17:05,456 Months, and not a dicky-bird. 486 00:17:05,458 --> 00:17:07,458 We used to look forward to your little letters 487 00:17:07,460 --> 00:17:09,893 coming so regular. 488 00:17:09,895 --> 00:17:12,363 Well, I mean apart from the money inside. 489 00:17:12,365 --> 00:17:13,697 Oh, that apart. 490 00:17:13,699 --> 00:17:15,133 Oh, heavens above, no. 491 00:17:15,135 --> 00:17:16,800 I mean the letters themselves 492 00:17:16,802 --> 00:17:20,138 and all your news and... 493 00:17:20,140 --> 00:17:24,142 Whether you was having a nice time. 494 00:17:24,144 --> 00:17:27,978 Mmm. What lovely shortbread. Do you make it yourself? 495 00:17:27,980 --> 00:17:29,147 Yeah, of course. 496 00:17:29,149 --> 00:17:30,814 Of course she did. Perfect. 497 00:17:30,816 --> 00:17:32,483 Do you want another cup of tea, dad? 498 00:17:32,485 --> 00:17:33,984 Oh, yeah. 499 00:17:33,986 --> 00:17:35,253 Ta. 500 00:17:38,991 --> 00:17:40,491 Louisa... 501 00:17:40,493 --> 00:17:42,660 I may be wrong, but, um, 502 00:17:42,662 --> 00:17:44,662 if the king's offered you help, 503 00:17:44,664 --> 00:17:46,330 I mean, well, isn't it really, 504 00:17:46,332 --> 00:17:48,065 you know, only common courtesy to... 505 00:17:48,067 --> 00:17:49,833 here you are. Oh. 506 00:17:49,835 --> 00:17:51,335 I've got a little Christmas box 507 00:17:51,337 --> 00:17:52,670 for you, by the way. 508 00:17:52,672 --> 00:17:53,837 For us? 509 00:17:53,839 --> 00:17:55,005 Yeah. It's nothing much... 510 00:17:55,007 --> 00:17:56,106 just a few quid. 511 00:17:56,108 --> 00:17:58,176 Now, we couldn't take money from you, Louisa... 512 00:17:58,178 --> 00:17:59,677 not when you're working so hard to... 513 00:17:59,679 --> 00:18:01,111 All the hours God sends. 514 00:18:01,113 --> 00:18:02,613 That wouldn't be right on our part. 515 00:18:02,615 --> 00:18:04,448 No, not when you're trying to save. 516 00:18:04,450 --> 00:18:06,450 I've been saving it for you. 517 00:18:06,452 --> 00:18:09,453 Well... 518 00:18:09,455 --> 00:18:12,122 Thank you, Louisa. You're a... 519 00:18:12,124 --> 00:18:13,457 You're a good girl. 520 00:18:13,459 --> 00:18:14,792 Thoughtful. 521 00:18:14,794 --> 00:18:16,126 Always were. 522 00:18:16,128 --> 00:18:17,295 Excuse me, ma'am, 523 00:18:17,297 --> 00:18:18,962 but whatever it is has been simmering now 524 00:18:18,964 --> 00:18:20,298 for a good 15 minutes, and... 525 00:18:20,300 --> 00:18:22,300 Oh, yes. Thanks Mary. Right away. 526 00:18:22,302 --> 00:18:25,303 Well, we won't impose on you if you're busy, Louisa, 527 00:18:25,305 --> 00:18:29,640 but we just had to come, you know, have a nice chat. 528 00:18:29,642 --> 00:18:30,908 Louisa? 529 00:18:30,910 --> 00:18:33,143 How long have you had your bed in here, then? 530 00:18:33,145 --> 00:18:34,812 Oh, a few months. 531 00:18:34,814 --> 00:18:38,416 Good idea. Make sure you get plenty of rest. 532 00:18:45,124 --> 00:18:46,824 LOUISA: Dinner for 8: 533 00:18:46,826 --> 00:18:49,660 Lieutenant General Dennises, Knightsbridge. 534 00:18:49,662 --> 00:18:51,161 Melons glaces. 535 00:18:51,163 --> 00:18:52,330 Yeah. 536 00:18:52,332 --> 00:18:53,497 Consommé de volaille. 537 00:18:53,499 --> 00:18:54,665 Um... Here. 538 00:18:54,667 --> 00:18:55,833 Oh, sorry. Yeah. 539 00:18:55,835 --> 00:18:57,000 Saumon grillé 540 00:18:57,002 --> 00:18:58,502 Grilled salmon? Yes. 541 00:18:58,504 --> 00:19:00,003 Yeah. Tartar sauce? 542 00:19:00,005 --> 00:19:01,272 Yes, of course. 543 00:19:01,274 --> 00:19:02,940 Côtelettes de mouton 544 00:19:02,942 --> 00:19:04,442 Uh, yeah. 545 00:19:04,444 --> 00:19:06,110 Soufflé de caillerie? 546 00:19:06,112 --> 00:19:08,779 Ma'am, here are 3 more commissions... 547 00:19:08,781 --> 00:19:11,014 well, inquiries, that is. 548 00:19:11,016 --> 00:19:14,485 The Duchess of Launde, January 2, luncheon for 12; 549 00:19:14,487 --> 00:19:18,456 Lady Blackwater, also January 2, supper for 4; 550 00:19:18,458 --> 00:19:22,126 Mrs. Lionel Watson, January 5, dinner for 8. 551 00:19:22,128 --> 00:19:23,628 Accept. Which? 552 00:19:23,630 --> 00:19:24,962 All of them; all 3. 553 00:19:24,964 --> 00:19:26,297 I don't think you can, ma'am. 554 00:19:26,299 --> 00:19:28,966 Already on January 5, you're doing a luncheon for 12. 555 00:19:28,968 --> 00:19:30,468 Accept them. We'll manage. 556 00:19:30,470 --> 00:19:32,002 [Mary crying] 557 00:19:33,939 --> 00:19:35,239 It's all right, Merriman. 558 00:19:38,645 --> 00:19:39,977 Go and rest, Mary. 559 00:19:39,979 --> 00:19:41,312 How, ma'am? 560 00:19:41,314 --> 00:19:42,980 There's the pans to scour, 561 00:19:42,982 --> 00:19:45,316 the fish to clean, the vegetables to do, 562 00:19:45,318 --> 00:19:46,984 and there's nothing's even started yet. 563 00:19:46,986 --> 00:19:48,653 Go on. Go and rest. 564 00:19:48,655 --> 00:19:50,988 You can have 40 winks... well, 39. 565 00:19:50,990 --> 00:19:53,491 You don't rest. You never rest. 566 00:19:53,493 --> 00:19:56,160 Oh, don't be simple. It's me I'm working for. 567 00:19:56,162 --> 00:19:57,495 I know what I'll get out of it 568 00:19:57,497 --> 00:19:58,829 when it's all over. 569 00:19:58,831 --> 00:20:00,164 What do you get out of it, eh? 570 00:20:00,166 --> 00:20:01,832 Well, I'll have been a help. 571 00:20:01,834 --> 00:20:03,834 Without me, you mightn't have done it so quick. 572 00:20:03,836 --> 00:20:06,170 No, I wouldn't have done it at all... 573 00:20:06,172 --> 00:20:08,172 if I ever do, that is. 574 00:20:08,174 --> 00:20:09,573 I'm all right now. 575 00:20:09,575 --> 00:20:11,342 Are you sure? Yeah. 576 00:20:11,344 --> 00:20:13,177 Well, you could have had 10 minutes. 577 00:20:13,179 --> 00:20:15,212 Oh, I could have done the fish in that time. 578 00:20:15,214 --> 00:20:18,015 Mary, ordinary people call it fish. 579 00:20:18,017 --> 00:20:19,350 We're not ordinary. 580 00:20:19,352 --> 00:20:21,419 Fish have names where we come from. 581 00:20:21,421 --> 00:20:22,586 Salmon, then. 582 00:20:22,588 --> 00:20:23,621 Saumon. 583 00:20:23,623 --> 00:20:24,822 Saumon. 584 00:20:28,695 --> 00:20:30,661 Oy, Mary? 585 00:20:30,663 --> 00:20:32,630 Merry Christmas. 586 00:20:32,632 --> 00:20:34,665 Merry Christmas, ma'am. 587 00:21:02,662 --> 00:21:04,662 Is she very, very poorly, doctor? 588 00:21:04,664 --> 00:21:06,497 Well, I don't think Cruickshank's Salts 589 00:21:06,499 --> 00:21:07,665 would ever want her 590 00:21:07,667 --> 00:21:09,667 as an advertisement for glowing health... 591 00:21:09,669 --> 00:21:11,669 working herself to exhaustion, 592 00:21:11,671 --> 00:21:14,037 barely eating, barely sleeping. 593 00:21:14,039 --> 00:21:16,507 How long has this suicidal business been going on? 594 00:21:16,509 --> 00:21:17,675 All winter. 595 00:21:17,677 --> 00:21:19,577 Will she soon be better, sir, do you think? 596 00:21:19,579 --> 00:21:21,345 Only with plenty of rest 597 00:21:21,347 --> 00:21:23,681 and regular meals and no work. 598 00:21:23,683 --> 00:21:26,517 And the same applies to you, by the look of you. 599 00:21:26,519 --> 00:21:28,519 Oh, I get more rest than she does. 600 00:21:28,521 --> 00:21:30,354 She has the mental worry as well, you see. 601 00:21:30,356 --> 00:21:31,689 My auntie Gwyn says that 602 00:21:31,691 --> 00:21:33,256 that aggravates the sickness even worse. 603 00:21:33,258 --> 00:21:34,358 Oh, does she? 604 00:21:34,360 --> 00:21:35,559 Oh, yes, sir, in her opinion. 605 00:21:35,561 --> 00:21:36,694 I'm most grateful. 606 00:21:36,696 --> 00:21:39,029 Now, it's up to you, young lady, 607 00:21:39,031 --> 00:21:41,365 to see that Mrs. Trotter eats properly 608 00:21:41,367 --> 00:21:43,400 and rests properly from now on. 609 00:21:43,402 --> 00:21:45,202 Those are strict orders. 610 00:21:45,204 --> 00:21:48,372 And it's your responsibility to see that she obeys. 611 00:21:48,374 --> 00:21:50,708 Yes, sir. I'll try, sir. 612 00:21:50,710 --> 00:21:52,376 A kitchen maid is only allowed to give orders 613 00:21:52,378 --> 00:21:53,878 to a scullery maid as a rule... 614 00:21:53,880 --> 00:21:55,245 only we haven't got a scullery maid. 615 00:21:55,247 --> 00:21:57,047 She shouldn't get up at all tomorrow... 616 00:21:57,049 --> 00:21:59,049 not for two days at least. 617 00:21:59,051 --> 00:22:00,217 Very good, sir. 618 00:22:00,219 --> 00:22:01,318 LOUISA: Mary? 619 00:22:01,320 --> 00:22:02,419 Oh. 620 00:22:05,658 --> 00:22:06,824 All this palaver, 621 00:22:06,826 --> 00:22:08,826 I forgot to put the brandy 622 00:22:08,828 --> 00:22:10,661 in the chicken liver pates. 623 00:22:10,663 --> 00:22:12,997 Bring me the livers and a cheap bottle. 624 00:22:12,999 --> 00:22:14,264 I'll mix them in here. 625 00:22:14,266 --> 00:22:16,000 No, ma'am. 626 00:22:16,002 --> 00:22:18,335 What the hell do you mean, no? 627 00:22:18,337 --> 00:22:20,738 I mean no. 628 00:22:20,740 --> 00:22:24,008 Duckie, doctors are only doctors. 629 00:22:24,010 --> 00:22:26,010 They're not emperors of India 630 00:22:26,012 --> 00:22:28,445 and defenders of the bleeding faith. 631 00:22:28,447 --> 00:22:29,680 The answer's still no. 632 00:22:29,682 --> 00:22:32,349 I'd like that to be understood, please. 633 00:22:32,351 --> 00:22:34,351 Thank you. 634 00:22:34,353 --> 00:22:36,286 [whispering] well done, nurse. 635 00:22:38,691 --> 00:22:40,691 Mr. Merriman? 636 00:22:40,693 --> 00:22:42,026 Mr. Merriman! 637 00:22:42,028 --> 00:22:43,694 I'm reading the paper. 638 00:22:43,696 --> 00:22:46,363 When I read, I read. I don't talk. 639 00:22:46,365 --> 00:22:48,866 What is it that I'm in sometimes, 640 00:22:48,868 --> 00:22:50,200 when I don't know what to do 641 00:22:50,202 --> 00:22:51,535 and you say I'm in something? 642 00:22:51,537 --> 00:22:53,203 I'm in a certain word. 643 00:22:53,205 --> 00:22:54,371 Quandary. 644 00:22:54,373 --> 00:22:56,040 Oh, that's it. Quandary. 645 00:22:56,042 --> 00:22:57,708 Well, I'm in one again. 646 00:22:57,710 --> 00:22:58,876 Good. 647 00:22:58,878 --> 00:23:00,210 Before she got took poorly, 648 00:23:00,212 --> 00:23:01,645 she'd be up and about by now. 649 00:23:01,647 --> 00:23:03,146 But on the other hand, the doctor said 650 00:23:03,148 --> 00:23:04,782 she's to stay in bed all day. 651 00:23:04,784 --> 00:23:06,817 So the quandary is, should I take her 652 00:23:06,819 --> 00:23:08,151 her morning pot of tea or not? 653 00:23:08,153 --> 00:23:09,653 That's the quandary in question. 654 00:23:09,655 --> 00:23:11,989 Mary, I'm trying to read the newspaper... 655 00:23:11,991 --> 00:23:13,657 yesterday's newspaper. 656 00:23:13,659 --> 00:23:16,159 The time we have to get up in this establishment, 657 00:23:16,161 --> 00:23:17,828 there's no such thing as today's. 658 00:23:17,830 --> 00:23:20,831 Mr. Merriman, if she rests and convalesces 659 00:23:20,833 --> 00:23:23,500 and does less cooking and earns less money, 660 00:23:23,502 --> 00:23:25,335 well, it's all over, isn't it? 661 00:23:25,337 --> 00:23:27,004 We will be on the street. 662 00:23:27,006 --> 00:23:29,339 One of the attributes of old age is wisdom. 663 00:23:29,341 --> 00:23:30,507 In my wisdom, 664 00:23:30,509 --> 00:23:32,009 I said you were both mad at the time, 665 00:23:32,011 --> 00:23:33,176 and I was right. 666 00:23:33,178 --> 00:23:34,344 You said no such thing. 667 00:23:34,346 --> 00:23:36,013 Well, I thought it. 668 00:23:36,015 --> 00:23:38,348 Well, I'll take her the tea, 669 00:23:38,350 --> 00:23:40,350 and if she's sleeping, I'll bring it back. 670 00:23:40,352 --> 00:23:41,451 Yeah. 671 00:23:58,037 --> 00:24:00,604 Mr. Merriman! Mr. Merriman! 672 00:24:37,009 --> 00:24:38,275 Morning to you. 673 00:24:42,281 --> 00:24:44,014 LOUISA: 21... 674 00:24:44,016 --> 00:24:48,518 22, 23, 24... 675 00:24:48,520 --> 00:24:53,623 25, 26, 27, 28... 676 00:25:17,649 --> 00:25:20,084 I know you, don't I? 677 00:25:22,154 --> 00:25:23,987 I don't think so. 678 00:25:23,989 --> 00:25:26,056 So if you wouldn't mind... 679 00:25:26,058 --> 00:25:27,758 It's Louisa. 680 00:25:27,760 --> 00:25:29,492 Is it? Well, I don't know you 681 00:25:29,494 --> 00:25:31,161 from Adam and Eve nor the serpent. 682 00:25:31,163 --> 00:25:33,463 So shift your carcass and let me get on. 683 00:25:33,465 --> 00:25:34,832 Louisa, stop it. 684 00:25:34,834 --> 00:25:37,067 You know who I am, all right. 685 00:25:37,069 --> 00:25:39,002 I was wondering if there's any chance 686 00:25:39,004 --> 00:25:40,670 of a lift to Piccadilly Circus. 687 00:25:40,672 --> 00:25:42,339 Please, Mr. Tyrrell, 688 00:25:42,341 --> 00:25:45,375 get on your way and let me get on mine, eh? 689 00:25:45,377 --> 00:25:46,676 Mr. Tyrrell? 690 00:25:46,678 --> 00:25:49,213 It was Mr. Charlie the first time we met. 691 00:25:49,215 --> 00:25:50,513 As I remember it, 692 00:25:50,515 --> 00:25:52,515 you're a rogue, vagabond, rake, 693 00:25:52,517 --> 00:25:55,185 and seducer of innocent young kitchen maids. 694 00:25:55,187 --> 00:25:59,356 Attempted seducer; failed seducer. 695 00:25:59,358 --> 00:26:01,625 It was the second time we met 696 00:26:01,627 --> 00:26:02,860 you called me Mr. Charlie. 697 00:26:02,862 --> 00:26:05,129 How are you, Louisa? 698 00:26:05,131 --> 00:26:06,296 I'm well. 699 00:26:06,298 --> 00:26:08,398 Now can I get on with me business? 700 00:26:08,400 --> 00:26:09,666 And your husband? 701 00:26:09,668 --> 00:26:11,468 He ain't me husband no more. 702 00:26:11,470 --> 00:26:12,636 I see. 703 00:26:12,638 --> 00:26:15,205 See what? What is there to see? 704 00:26:15,207 --> 00:26:17,474 Louisa, what on earth are you doing 705 00:26:17,476 --> 00:26:18,809 at this time of the morning 706 00:26:18,811 --> 00:26:20,043 pushing a barrow? 707 00:26:20,045 --> 00:26:23,147 In the first place, I'm minding me own business. 708 00:26:23,149 --> 00:26:24,648 In the second place, whatever I'm doing 709 00:26:24,650 --> 00:26:26,917 is a damn sight more respectable than you... 710 00:26:26,919 --> 00:26:29,319 stood here, this time of the morning, 711 00:26:29,321 --> 00:26:31,989 St. James, in your evening suit. 712 00:26:31,991 --> 00:26:34,124 I don't think you are well, actually. 713 00:26:34,126 --> 00:26:35,759 You don't look well. 714 00:26:38,164 --> 00:26:39,830 Where can I call on you? 715 00:26:39,832 --> 00:26:41,165 Why? Do you want to or something? 716 00:26:41,167 --> 00:26:42,499 Of course I do. 717 00:26:42,501 --> 00:26:44,501 Bentinck Hotel, if you like. 718 00:26:44,503 --> 00:26:46,503 There ain't no guests anymore. 719 00:26:46,505 --> 00:26:47,838 Ain't an hotel anymore. 720 00:26:47,840 --> 00:26:49,339 You can do what you like. 721 00:26:49,341 --> 00:26:50,507 You won't object? 722 00:26:50,509 --> 00:26:52,509 Up to you, isn't it? 723 00:26:52,511 --> 00:26:55,012 Louisa, we are old friends. 724 00:26:55,014 --> 00:26:56,513 Good morning. 725 00:26:56,515 --> 00:26:58,682 Are you sure you're all right? 726 00:26:58,684 --> 00:27:01,151 I told you I was, didn't I? 727 00:27:04,456 --> 00:27:05,522 [drops stick] 728 00:27:07,293 --> 00:27:08,625 Louisa, are you all right? 729 00:27:08,627 --> 00:27:09,793 Yeah. Yeah, I'm all right. 730 00:27:09,795 --> 00:27:10,961 We'd better get you home. 731 00:27:10,963 --> 00:27:12,896 No, no, Mr. Charlie. I'll be all right. 732 00:27:52,838 --> 00:27:54,104 It's all right, Louisa. 733 00:28:31,143 --> 00:28:33,676 [nurse speaking indistinctly] 734 00:29:07,279 --> 00:29:08,979 Mary. 735 00:29:08,981 --> 00:29:11,781 I...couldn't think what to bring you 736 00:29:11,783 --> 00:29:14,284 without spending your money. 737 00:29:14,286 --> 00:29:16,286 I was in a quandary. 738 00:29:16,288 --> 00:29:18,455 I brought quail in aspic. 739 00:29:32,637 --> 00:29:35,472 Mr. Tyrrell said it was horrible... 740 00:29:35,474 --> 00:29:37,307 Collapsing in the street. 741 00:29:37,309 --> 00:29:38,775 He thought you was dying. 742 00:29:38,777 --> 00:29:40,143 And if you are, ma'am, 743 00:29:40,145 --> 00:29:42,479 I don't think you must expect us to feel sorry. 744 00:29:42,481 --> 00:29:44,647 You was supposed to stay in bed. 745 00:29:44,649 --> 00:29:46,149 We did our best. 746 00:29:46,151 --> 00:29:48,651 Mr. Tyrrell? 747 00:29:48,653 --> 00:29:50,153 Pardon, ma'am? 748 00:29:50,155 --> 00:29:53,690 When did you see Mr. Tyrrell? 749 00:29:53,692 --> 00:29:56,159 He's called at the hotel every day since it happened 750 00:29:56,161 --> 00:29:58,161 to tell us how you were, 751 00:29:58,163 --> 00:30:00,364 but he wouldn't let me come till today. 752 00:30:02,001 --> 00:30:05,168 Oh, Mr. Merriman's notified Viscount Stanley 753 00:30:05,170 --> 00:30:06,836 and the honorable George Campbell 754 00:30:06,838 --> 00:30:08,838 that they'll have to whistle for their dinners; 755 00:30:08,840 --> 00:30:11,174 that everything's been canceled. 756 00:30:11,176 --> 00:30:13,110 They wished you better. 757 00:30:15,180 --> 00:30:17,680 I heard Mr. Merriman praying last night. 758 00:30:17,682 --> 00:30:20,683 That's something I've never heard him do before. 759 00:30:20,685 --> 00:30:23,286 Perhaps it was for [indistinct]. 760 00:30:24,856 --> 00:30:26,023 [sniffling] 761 00:30:26,025 --> 00:30:27,357 Don't cry, Mary. 762 00:30:27,359 --> 00:30:28,691 I'm not. 763 00:30:28,693 --> 00:30:30,360 Now, you will try and get well 764 00:30:30,362 --> 00:30:31,861 this time, won't you, ma'am? 765 00:30:31,863 --> 00:30:33,296 The kitchen can wait. 766 00:30:34,866 --> 00:30:36,533 The kitchen can blow itself up, 767 00:30:36,535 --> 00:30:38,701 for all I care. 768 00:30:38,703 --> 00:30:41,204 I'm gonna pack the whole thing in. 769 00:30:41,206 --> 00:30:42,872 To hell with my debts. 770 00:30:42,874 --> 00:30:45,808 All I want to do now is die in peace. 771 00:30:47,379 --> 00:30:49,379 If you don't pay your debts, ma'am, 772 00:30:49,381 --> 00:30:51,381 they'll throw you out of the hotel. 773 00:30:51,383 --> 00:30:53,050 You'll have nowhere to live. 774 00:30:53,052 --> 00:30:54,717 Well, that won't matter much 775 00:30:54,719 --> 00:30:56,319 if I'm dead, will it? 776 00:31:01,326 --> 00:31:02,659 We tried. 777 00:31:02,661 --> 00:31:05,662 That's supposed to be the most important thing. 778 00:31:05,664 --> 00:31:07,664 It's supposed to be. 779 00:31:07,666 --> 00:31:09,766 And we failed. 780 00:31:11,470 --> 00:31:14,438 Anyway... It don't matter. 781 00:31:16,508 --> 00:31:17,740 What's it matter? 782 00:31:17,742 --> 00:31:19,943 Some people don't even get bread. 783 00:31:21,513 --> 00:31:23,012 Most people. 784 00:31:23,014 --> 00:31:26,015 Saw a lot of them like that when I was a girl. 785 00:31:26,017 --> 00:31:28,351 I thought if I didn't see them no more, 786 00:31:28,353 --> 00:31:30,353 they wouldn't be there. 787 00:31:30,355 --> 00:31:32,355 But I have. 788 00:31:32,357 --> 00:31:34,224 They are. 789 00:31:38,730 --> 00:31:41,465 I don't know what to say to cheer you up, girl. 790 00:31:43,034 --> 00:31:45,535 Nothing, I suppose. 791 00:31:45,537 --> 00:31:47,304 There is nothing. 792 00:31:55,614 --> 00:31:57,046 Hello, Mary. 793 00:31:57,048 --> 00:31:59,048 I think she's sleeping, sir. 794 00:31:59,050 --> 00:32:00,383 How is she today? 795 00:32:00,385 --> 00:32:02,752 She's never been like this...never. 796 00:32:21,673 --> 00:32:22,939 Louisa? 797 00:32:25,177 --> 00:32:27,177 Charlie. 798 00:32:27,179 --> 00:32:30,680 Twice in 3 days? Must be a nightmare. 799 00:32:30,682 --> 00:32:34,684 5 days. It happened 5 days ago. 800 00:32:34,686 --> 00:32:37,620 Oh, sleep me life away here. 801 00:32:41,026 --> 00:32:43,026 Ta. Who'd you get them for? 802 00:32:43,028 --> 00:32:45,295 The first pretty woman I bumped into. 803 00:33:02,314 --> 00:33:05,315 Louisa, I've been doing some thinking. 804 00:33:05,317 --> 00:33:06,649 Well, the answer's no. 805 00:33:06,651 --> 00:33:08,985 Oh, I know that. Mary told me. 806 00:33:08,987 --> 00:33:10,653 Oh, she did, did she? 807 00:33:10,655 --> 00:33:12,322 She'd repeat it like a catechism. 808 00:33:12,324 --> 00:33:13,990 Yeah, you seem to tell each other a lot, 809 00:33:13,992 --> 00:33:15,158 you and Mary. 810 00:33:15,160 --> 00:33:16,826 It's always about me, I notice. 811 00:33:16,828 --> 00:33:18,261 Nothing better to do? 812 00:33:20,332 --> 00:33:23,333 What you been thinking about, then? 813 00:33:23,335 --> 00:33:26,002 I'm sorry this is how it's ended, 814 00:33:26,004 --> 00:33:28,671 but I think you were right to do what you did... 815 00:33:28,673 --> 00:33:31,341 making yourself responsible for the debts. 816 00:33:31,343 --> 00:33:34,010 Yeah? You're about the only one that does. 817 00:33:34,012 --> 00:33:37,514 Of course. I'm the only one that understands you. 818 00:33:37,516 --> 00:33:41,784 And me. I understand me. I was a bloody fool. 819 00:33:45,690 --> 00:33:48,024 How's Lord Haslemere these days? 820 00:33:48,026 --> 00:33:49,192 Father? 821 00:33:49,194 --> 00:33:51,694 Oh, still taking long, athletic walks 822 00:33:51,696 --> 00:33:53,029 around his Yorkshire estates... 823 00:33:53,031 --> 00:33:54,364 keeping as fit as he can, 824 00:33:54,366 --> 00:33:56,366 because he thinks I'm waiting for him to die. 825 00:33:56,368 --> 00:33:57,534 Are you? 826 00:33:57,536 --> 00:33:59,536 He'll live forever. 827 00:33:59,538 --> 00:34:00,803 No. 828 00:34:00,805 --> 00:34:02,805 No, I enjoy myself, 829 00:34:02,807 --> 00:34:05,808 occupy myself enjoying the pleasures of London. 830 00:34:05,810 --> 00:34:07,477 They don't keep me fit. 831 00:34:07,479 --> 00:34:11,481 They keep me happy... fairly happy. 832 00:34:11,483 --> 00:34:13,816 You've not changed, have you? 833 00:34:13,818 --> 00:34:16,919 Not in one single respect. 834 00:34:22,661 --> 00:34:24,327 It isn't altogether true 835 00:34:24,329 --> 00:34:27,330 that I enjoy the pleasures of London... 836 00:34:27,332 --> 00:34:30,333 Not as much as I should and could. 837 00:34:30,335 --> 00:34:32,669 I seem to wander from the house of one friend 838 00:34:32,671 --> 00:34:35,672 to the house of the next in circles, 839 00:34:35,674 --> 00:34:37,607 like a fairground Johnny. 840 00:34:39,178 --> 00:34:41,010 Such a nice, posh house 841 00:34:41,012 --> 00:34:43,346 you was gonna have and all. 842 00:34:43,348 --> 00:34:46,683 Carriages, servants, big plays. 843 00:34:46,685 --> 00:34:48,351 You've done nothing, have you? 844 00:34:48,353 --> 00:34:51,354 Which isn't to say I'm not going to. 845 00:34:51,356 --> 00:34:53,022 Same old Charlie. 846 00:34:53,024 --> 00:34:55,692 Louisa, how much would the lease cost on your hotel? 847 00:34:55,694 --> 00:34:56,859 Why? 848 00:34:56,861 --> 00:34:58,027 How much? 849 00:34:58,029 --> 00:35:00,363 1,500 pounds. 850 00:35:00,365 --> 00:35:01,964 I'll buy it. 851 00:35:01,966 --> 00:35:03,300 Who for? 852 00:35:03,302 --> 00:35:04,967 It'll give me what I need, won't it? 853 00:35:04,969 --> 00:35:06,969 Premises; a home in London; 854 00:35:06,971 --> 00:35:08,638 a suite of rooms furnished to my own taste 855 00:35:08,640 --> 00:35:09,972 that I can regard as home; 856 00:35:09,974 --> 00:35:11,974 where I can invite my friends for a change. 857 00:35:11,976 --> 00:35:13,976 No. I don't want charity. 858 00:35:13,978 --> 00:35:15,912 It isn't, for God's sake. 859 00:35:17,482 --> 00:35:19,148 If you don't want to sell, all right. 860 00:35:19,150 --> 00:35:20,317 I'll buy another 861 00:35:20,319 --> 00:35:21,651 or something like that somewhere. 862 00:35:21,653 --> 00:35:23,653 You do that, then. The answer's no. 863 00:35:23,655 --> 00:35:24,987 Please yourself. 864 00:35:24,989 --> 00:35:26,256 I always do. 865 00:35:28,159 --> 00:35:29,759 Evidently. 866 00:35:31,663 --> 00:35:33,162 Would you mind pushing off now? 867 00:35:33,164 --> 00:35:35,632 Visiting time's over... yours, anyway. 868 00:35:39,170 --> 00:35:41,838 You're stupid as well as stubborn, aren't you? 869 00:35:41,840 --> 00:35:43,273 I never knew that. 870 00:35:47,178 --> 00:35:50,179 Look, I want no one's help. 871 00:35:50,181 --> 00:35:53,683 It was being helped that got me where I am now... 872 00:35:53,685 --> 00:35:55,184 at death's door. 873 00:35:55,186 --> 00:35:56,686 Death's door? 874 00:35:56,688 --> 00:35:59,021 You'll live as long as my father. 875 00:35:59,023 --> 00:36:01,458 It's to help me, woman. 876 00:36:01,460 --> 00:36:03,460 Admittedly, I'd be an investment for you, 877 00:36:03,462 --> 00:36:05,295 but so would you be for me... 878 00:36:05,297 --> 00:36:06,796 which, as far as I'm concerned, 879 00:36:06,798 --> 00:36:08,231 is a damn sight more to the point. 880 00:36:09,968 --> 00:36:11,067 Well? 881 00:36:17,142 --> 00:36:19,643 Would I be expected to cook for you... 882 00:36:19,645 --> 00:36:21,844 for you and your friends? 883 00:36:21,846 --> 00:36:23,146 If you were agreeable, 884 00:36:23,148 --> 00:36:25,214 that's precisely what I'd expect. 885 00:36:25,216 --> 00:36:26,650 Well, how, Charlie, lying here? 886 00:36:26,652 --> 00:36:28,918 The only one I'm gonna be cooking for is St. Peter. 887 00:36:28,920 --> 00:36:31,321 Oh, when you're recovered; when it's convenient. 888 00:36:31,323 --> 00:36:32,722 Say, within a month. 889 00:36:34,326 --> 00:36:35,492 A month? 890 00:36:35,494 --> 00:36:36,660 Less? 891 00:36:36,662 --> 00:36:38,828 I'm not a bleeding pit pony. 892 00:36:38,830 --> 00:36:42,332 But you'd have no debts left, would you, blockhead? 893 00:36:42,334 --> 00:36:44,701 It'd be less work for a damn sight more money. 894 00:36:44,703 --> 00:36:47,170 How many months or years do you think it would take 895 00:36:47,172 --> 00:36:49,005 slaving away in that black hole of a kitchen 896 00:36:49,007 --> 00:36:50,340 to earn 1,500 quid? 897 00:36:50,342 --> 00:36:52,275 Think, woman. 898 00:36:53,845 --> 00:36:56,513 Ooh, it's a rum sort of hotel, isn't it? 899 00:36:56,515 --> 00:36:58,515 One guest, one suite of rooms, 900 00:36:58,517 --> 00:36:59,616 and no furniture? 901 00:37:01,620 --> 00:37:04,621 No. The thing's impossible. 902 00:37:04,623 --> 00:37:06,389 It's out of the question. 903 00:37:08,860 --> 00:37:10,727 MAN: 18 guineas, then. 904 00:37:10,729 --> 00:37:12,462 Do I hear 19? 905 00:37:12,464 --> 00:37:15,131 For this superb hooded porter's chair, 906 00:37:15,133 --> 00:37:17,133 do I hear 19 guineas, gentlemen? 907 00:37:17,135 --> 00:37:18,468 Does he? Up to you. 908 00:37:18,470 --> 00:37:20,303 Ooh, it's ever so expensive, isn't it? 909 00:37:20,305 --> 00:37:22,205 I don't remember when I last spent tuppence. 910 00:37:22,207 --> 00:37:24,240 Oh, come along, gentlemen. Do I hear 19 guineas? 911 00:37:24,242 --> 00:37:25,809 Oh, it is nice, though. 912 00:37:25,811 --> 00:37:27,310 I don't know. What do you think? 913 00:37:27,312 --> 00:37:28,812 19's too dear, isn't it? 914 00:37:28,814 --> 00:37:29,879 Yes, it is. 915 00:37:29,881 --> 00:37:32,549 Going for 18 guineas, then. Going... 916 00:37:32,551 --> 00:37:34,183 But not if you really want it. 917 00:37:34,185 --> 00:37:35,218 19! 918 00:37:35,220 --> 00:37:36,319 Thank you, madam. 919 00:37:36,321 --> 00:37:38,020 Any advance on 19? 920 00:37:38,022 --> 00:37:39,989 That's me last bid. I'm not going no higher. 921 00:37:39,991 --> 00:37:41,491 MAN: 20! 21! 922 00:37:41,493 --> 00:37:43,493 AUCTIONEER: 21. Do I hear 22? 923 00:37:43,495 --> 00:37:45,261 Ooh, I bloody well hope not. 924 00:37:45,263 --> 00:37:47,163 Going for 21, then. 925 00:37:47,165 --> 00:37:49,432 Going, going, and gone. 926 00:37:49,434 --> 00:37:51,835 Oh, Charlie. Oh! 927 00:37:51,837 --> 00:37:53,169 Here, let's go now. 928 00:37:53,171 --> 00:37:55,171 I've got me chairs, me dining table, 929 00:37:55,173 --> 00:37:56,840 me hall table, me pictures, 930 00:37:56,842 --> 00:37:58,174 me beautiful hooded chair. 931 00:37:58,176 --> 00:37:59,509 All I need now is a couple more hotels 932 00:37:59,511 --> 00:38:00,943 to put them in. 933 00:38:00,945 --> 00:38:02,612 AUCTIONEER: And now we come to lot 24, gentlemen... 934 00:38:02,614 --> 00:38:03,780 wait a second. 935 00:38:03,782 --> 00:38:05,281 Lady and gentlemen. 936 00:38:05,283 --> 00:38:09,285 Grand piano, handiwork of Mr. Steinway. 937 00:38:09,287 --> 00:38:11,621 Beautiful to look upon and, I have no doubt, 938 00:38:11,623 --> 00:38:13,122 equally beautiful to listen to. 939 00:38:13,124 --> 00:38:14,290 Yes? 940 00:38:14,292 --> 00:38:15,458 I don't want a piano. 941 00:38:15,460 --> 00:38:16,626 Not for you. For me. 942 00:38:16,628 --> 00:38:18,294 Now, who's going to start the bidding at, 943 00:38:18,296 --> 00:38:20,263 shall we say, 25 guineas? 944 00:38:20,265 --> 00:38:21,297 Thank you, sir. 945 00:38:21,299 --> 00:38:22,432 26. 946 00:38:22,434 --> 00:38:24,200 You don't even play. 947 00:38:24,202 --> 00:38:25,802 I can learn, can't I? 948 00:38:30,141 --> 00:38:31,574 LOUISA: Morning, George. 949 00:38:40,819 --> 00:38:43,319 Well, what do you think? 950 00:38:43,321 --> 00:38:45,321 Looks like a tart's bedroom. 951 00:38:45,323 --> 00:38:47,323 Oh, I wouldn't say that. 952 00:38:47,325 --> 00:38:48,991 Well, you should know. 953 00:39:07,779 --> 00:39:08,945 [sighs] 954 00:39:08,947 --> 00:39:11,948 How many quail have you cost me, then? 955 00:39:11,950 --> 00:39:13,883 Bloody hundreds. 956 00:39:18,790 --> 00:39:21,557 God knows how many pork pies. 957 00:39:30,401 --> 00:39:32,334 [piano playing] 958 00:39:39,811 --> 00:39:40,910 [knock on door] 959 00:39:42,147 --> 00:39:44,147 If you're delivering furniture, come in. 960 00:39:44,149 --> 00:39:46,582 If you're not, why aren't you? 961 00:39:49,320 --> 00:39:50,987 Make yourself at home. 962 00:39:50,989 --> 00:39:52,488 Thank you. What a mess. 963 00:39:52,490 --> 00:39:53,990 What do I sit on... the piano? 964 00:39:53,992 --> 00:39:55,324 Not but it'd sound much better 965 00:39:55,326 --> 00:39:56,659 than it did when I come in. 966 00:39:56,661 --> 00:39:57,994 I thought I was doing rather well. 967 00:39:57,996 --> 00:40:00,663 Louisa, did we buy any wardrobes at all? 968 00:40:00,665 --> 00:40:02,131 Yeah. They're coming tomorrow. 969 00:40:02,133 --> 00:40:03,499 Typical. My man's bringing 970 00:40:03,501 --> 00:40:05,501 all my clothes this afternoon. 971 00:40:05,503 --> 00:40:06,836 Louisa, why is it 972 00:40:06,838 --> 00:40:08,838 that my rooms are still in this mess 973 00:40:08,840 --> 00:40:11,174 when you've done up the entire hotel? 974 00:40:11,176 --> 00:40:12,842 I don't know how you do it. 975 00:40:12,844 --> 00:40:14,343 Yeah. I think I get carried away. 976 00:40:14,345 --> 00:40:15,678 I've noticed that before. 977 00:40:15,680 --> 00:40:17,346 No going back now. 978 00:40:17,348 --> 00:40:18,681 No, I suppose not. 979 00:40:18,683 --> 00:40:19,849 Happy? 980 00:40:19,851 --> 00:40:21,017 Worried. 981 00:40:21,019 --> 00:40:22,185 Worried, but happy? 982 00:40:22,187 --> 00:40:24,353 Worried, but worried. I think I must be barmy. 983 00:40:24,355 --> 00:40:26,856 When I decided to open a suite of rooms for you, 984 00:40:26,858 --> 00:40:28,191 well, I think I was just delirious. 985 00:40:28,193 --> 00:40:30,193 Then, being me, what do I go and do next? 986 00:40:30,195 --> 00:40:31,360 Open all the rooms; 987 00:40:31,362 --> 00:40:33,029 open the whole bleeding hotel. 988 00:40:33,031 --> 00:40:35,698 That's not delirious. That's plain barmy. 989 00:40:35,700 --> 00:40:38,367 Oh, Charlie, I'm right back at the beginning again... 990 00:40:38,369 --> 00:40:40,369 all the slaving and sweating to pay off me debts. 991 00:40:40,371 --> 00:40:42,371 What am I doing but landing meself in more of them? 992 00:40:42,373 --> 00:40:43,539 Hell of a sight more. 993 00:40:43,541 --> 00:40:46,209 But you're getting an entire new hotel, woman. 994 00:40:46,211 --> 00:40:48,711 Louisa, how many times do I have to explain? 995 00:40:48,713 --> 00:40:50,046 Yeah, but what if it fails? 996 00:40:50,048 --> 00:40:51,214 It won't. It might. 997 00:40:51,216 --> 00:40:52,715 No. 998 00:40:52,717 --> 00:40:55,651 It's what you wanted. You won't let it fail. 999 00:40:57,722 --> 00:40:59,055 It's all you've ever wanted 1000 00:40:59,057 --> 00:41:00,656 from life, isn't it? 1001 00:41:00,658 --> 00:41:03,159 Yeah. You know it is. 1002 00:41:03,161 --> 00:41:04,827 Absolutely all? 1003 00:41:04,829 --> 00:41:06,162 An hotel, nothing more? 1004 00:41:06,164 --> 00:41:07,496 Well, and its guests... 1005 00:41:07,498 --> 00:41:09,999 especially if they're anything like me first... 1006 00:41:10,001 --> 00:41:11,667 and they appreciate me cooking. 1007 00:41:11,669 --> 00:41:12,835 Yeah, that's all. 1008 00:41:12,837 --> 00:41:14,003 And no husbands? 1009 00:41:14,005 --> 00:41:16,339 No, certainly no husbands. 1010 00:41:16,341 --> 00:41:18,007 No lovers? 1011 00:41:18,009 --> 00:41:21,010 Most certainly no husbands. 1012 00:41:21,012 --> 00:41:23,012 Anyway, I'm gonna be slaving away in the kitchen 1013 00:41:23,014 --> 00:41:24,613 for your bleeding lovers. 1014 00:41:26,684 --> 00:41:28,017 What about you, Charlie? 1015 00:41:28,019 --> 00:41:29,518 Apart from the regiment of women 1016 00:41:29,520 --> 00:41:31,187 I'm gonna be cooking for, 1017 00:41:31,189 --> 00:41:33,689 what do you want out of life, eh? 1018 00:41:33,691 --> 00:41:35,358 You could have had the pick of society. 1019 00:41:35,360 --> 00:41:37,026 You know that, don't you? 1020 00:41:37,028 --> 00:41:39,028 Here, you forget I already have had. 1021 00:41:39,030 --> 00:41:41,697 Well, the pick of society picked me. 1022 00:41:41,699 --> 00:41:43,366 Well, is it your piano? 1023 00:41:43,368 --> 00:41:45,368 Is that what you want... be a great pianist? 1024 00:41:45,370 --> 00:41:46,702 I'll surprise you. 1025 00:41:46,704 --> 00:41:48,537 I'll learn to play one day. 1026 00:41:48,539 --> 00:41:50,539 It's always "One day," eh, Charlie? 1027 00:41:50,541 --> 00:41:52,141 Ah, there's plenty of time. 1028 00:41:53,711 --> 00:41:55,278 There's never plenty of time, luv. 1029 00:41:57,882 --> 00:41:59,448 Not for things that matter. 1030 00:42:01,085 --> 00:42:02,484 For example, 1031 00:42:02,486 --> 00:42:04,486 tell you what I've got for your dinner: 1032 00:42:04,488 --> 00:42:06,822 melon followed by turbot followed by roast beef 1033 00:42:06,824 --> 00:42:08,424 followed by cherries in brandy. 1034 00:42:08,426 --> 00:42:09,591 Tempting? 1035 00:42:14,865 --> 00:42:17,866 Well, I only hope she knows what she's doing. 1036 00:42:17,868 --> 00:42:21,337 I said, I only hope she knows what she's doing! 1037 00:42:21,339 --> 00:42:22,504 Mr. Merriman! 1038 00:42:22,506 --> 00:42:24,673 You only hope she knows what she's doing. 1039 00:42:24,675 --> 00:42:25,841 Yes. 1040 00:42:25,843 --> 00:42:26,943 So do I. 1041 00:42:28,512 --> 00:42:29,678 Who? 1042 00:42:29,680 --> 00:42:31,013 Mrs. Trotter. 1043 00:42:31,015 --> 00:42:32,681 I agree. 1044 00:42:32,683 --> 00:42:34,016 She never has yet. 1045 00:42:34,018 --> 00:42:36,018 She's too young to start now. 1046 00:42:36,020 --> 00:42:38,020 He's not what he seems, though, Mr. Merriman. 1047 00:42:38,022 --> 00:42:39,188 Good. 1048 00:42:39,190 --> 00:42:40,522 Who? 1049 00:42:40,524 --> 00:42:41,690 Mr. Tyrrell. 1050 00:42:41,692 --> 00:42:43,192 He's no gentleman, really. 1051 00:42:43,194 --> 00:42:44,360 Oh? 1052 00:42:44,362 --> 00:42:45,694 I know what he gets up to. 1053 00:42:45,696 --> 00:42:47,363 I was the tweeny maid at Lord Henry. 1054 00:42:47,365 --> 00:42:48,697 Lord Henry's his uncle. 1055 00:42:48,699 --> 00:42:50,699 And what does he get up to? 1056 00:42:50,701 --> 00:42:52,734 Oh, what doesn't he get up to? 1057 00:42:52,736 --> 00:42:54,370 Mary, when I want lessons in Welsh, 1058 00:42:54,372 --> 00:42:55,537 I'll ask for them. 1059 00:42:55,539 --> 00:42:56,705 Speak English. 1060 00:42:56,707 --> 00:42:58,140 Why is Mr. Tyrrell no gentleman? 1061 00:42:58,142 --> 00:43:00,209 No female servant was safe. 1062 00:43:00,211 --> 00:43:02,811 For every poor girl who made his bed every day, 1063 00:43:02,813 --> 00:43:03,980 there was always one 1064 00:43:03,982 --> 00:43:05,481 helping him to unmake it every night, 1065 00:43:05,483 --> 00:43:06,983 and every night a different one. 1066 00:43:06,985 --> 00:43:08,650 Well, then, he is a gentleman. 1067 00:43:08,652 --> 00:43:09,818 Huh? 1068 00:43:09,820 --> 00:43:12,321 That's what gentlemen are like...all gentlemen. 1069 00:43:12,323 --> 00:43:14,290 That's what makes them gentlemen. Understand? 1070 00:43:14,292 --> 00:43:15,824 No. 1071 00:43:15,826 --> 00:43:18,594 Well, have patience. You will. 1072 00:43:20,164 --> 00:43:22,164 [doorbell ringing] 1073 00:43:22,166 --> 00:43:25,334 Well, just one moment, then, mister, uh... 1074 00:43:25,336 --> 00:43:26,735 mister...what was it? 1075 00:43:26,737 --> 00:43:29,338 Starr. Mr. Starr. 1076 00:43:29,340 --> 00:43:30,839 Two rs. 1077 00:43:30,841 --> 00:43:33,842 Oh, yes. Yes, I see. 1078 00:43:33,844 --> 00:43:36,412 The...the dog's with you, is he? 1079 00:43:36,414 --> 00:43:37,413 Day and night. 1080 00:43:38,916 --> 00:43:40,716 Yes. 1081 00:43:43,354 --> 00:43:44,853 [knock on door] 1082 00:43:44,855 --> 00:43:46,188 Come in. 1083 00:43:46,190 --> 00:43:47,256 [door opens] 1084 00:43:47,258 --> 00:43:50,192 There's a Mr. Starr to see you, ma'am. 1085 00:43:50,194 --> 00:43:51,860 Says he has an appointment. 1086 00:43:51,862 --> 00:43:53,695 He appears to have what is described 1087 00:43:53,697 --> 00:43:55,031 as a dog with him, ma'am. 1088 00:43:55,033 --> 00:43:56,365 His name is Fred, ma'am. 1089 00:43:56,367 --> 00:43:57,699 What? 1090 00:43:57,701 --> 00:44:00,636 We're here re your advertisement in the "Times," madam, 1091 00:44:00,638 --> 00:44:03,305 re application for the position re hall porter. 1092 00:44:03,307 --> 00:44:04,640 Oh, yeah, right. 1093 00:44:04,642 --> 00:44:06,409 Uh, thank you, Merriman. 1094 00:44:07,978 --> 00:44:09,311 Come in, Mr. Starr. 1095 00:44:09,313 --> 00:44:10,479 Was it Starr? 1096 00:44:10,481 --> 00:44:14,150 It was, ma'am, and is... with two rs. 1097 00:44:14,152 --> 00:44:16,585 Do sit down... both of you. 1098 00:44:16,587 --> 00:44:18,254 Thank you, Mrs. Trotter. 1099 00:44:20,658 --> 00:44:22,925 Now stay, boy. Stay. 1100 00:44:24,828 --> 00:44:27,163 And no arguments. 1101 00:44:27,165 --> 00:44:29,665 Well, now, where shall I start? 1102 00:44:29,667 --> 00:44:31,667 I'm not that sure where to start. 1103 00:44:31,669 --> 00:44:33,335 I'm not all that used to interviewing. 1104 00:44:33,337 --> 00:44:35,604 That's perfectly all right, madam. We are. 1105 00:44:38,676 --> 00:44:41,343 Well, I think we might begin by establishing, 1106 00:44:41,345 --> 00:44:43,712 what exactly is the remuneration you have in mind? 1107 00:44:43,714 --> 00:44:45,181 Oh, yes. That's right. 1108 00:44:45,183 --> 00:44:47,349 30 quid a year, all found, 1109 00:44:47,351 --> 00:44:48,517 plus tips, of course. 1110 00:44:48,519 --> 00:44:49,685 Of course. 1111 00:44:49,687 --> 00:44:50,852 Which, in the case of hall porter, 1112 00:44:50,854 --> 00:44:52,020 are extremely... 1113 00:44:52,022 --> 00:44:54,823 indeed they are. Correct, Fred? 1114 00:44:54,825 --> 00:44:56,024 Correct. 1115 00:44:56,026 --> 00:44:58,094 Proceed, ma'am. 1116 00:44:58,096 --> 00:45:00,362 Well, now... 1117 00:45:00,364 --> 00:45:01,464 As you'll understand, 1118 00:45:01,466 --> 00:45:03,466 it's a highly responsible position, 1119 00:45:03,468 --> 00:45:05,134 hall porter, and... 1120 00:45:05,136 --> 00:45:07,203 And you would wish for a man of experience. 1121 00:45:07,205 --> 00:45:08,971 Experience, yes. 1122 00:45:08,973 --> 00:45:10,973 What I'm looking for is a man of experience. 1123 00:45:10,975 --> 00:45:12,641 Good. Look no further, ma'am. 1124 00:45:12,643 --> 00:45:14,977 A man with excellent references, I imagine. 1125 00:45:14,979 --> 00:45:16,145 Yes. 1126 00:45:16,147 --> 00:45:17,913 Have you references, Mr. Starr? 1127 00:45:17,915 --> 00:45:19,315 The very best, Mrs. Trotter. 1128 00:45:19,317 --> 00:45:20,649 I am my references. 1129 00:45:20,651 --> 00:45:23,419 Yes, Fred? Yes, indeed. 1130 00:45:23,421 --> 00:45:26,322 Oh. Uh, the experience you talk about. 1131 00:45:26,324 --> 00:45:27,823 Where have you worked previous? 1132 00:45:27,825 --> 00:45:28,957 Here and there, madam. 1133 00:45:28,959 --> 00:45:30,559 I see. Doing what? 1134 00:45:30,561 --> 00:45:31,594 This and that. 1135 00:45:31,596 --> 00:45:33,162 Oh. 1136 00:45:33,164 --> 00:45:35,164 You seem a military sort of gentleman. 1137 00:45:35,166 --> 00:45:36,698 Did you fight in the Boer War? 1138 00:45:38,669 --> 00:45:40,503 Very possibly. 1139 00:45:40,505 --> 00:45:41,837 Oh. 1140 00:45:41,839 --> 00:45:43,839 Well, I'd say you did... 1141 00:45:43,841 --> 00:45:45,274 And won. 1142 00:45:48,746 --> 00:45:50,012 Well, now... 1143 00:45:50,014 --> 00:45:51,680 Well, now, Fred and I would be grateful 1144 00:45:51,682 --> 00:45:53,949 if you'd be as frank with us, madam, as we have with you. 1145 00:45:53,951 --> 00:45:55,851 And what we'd like to know are: 1146 00:45:55,853 --> 00:45:59,355 1, the number of guests to whom we are to be of service; 1147 00:45:59,357 --> 00:46:01,457 2, whether Fred, of course, will be welcome. 1148 00:46:01,459 --> 00:46:03,459 No Fred, no yours truly. 1149 00:46:03,461 --> 00:46:06,162 Correct, Fred? Correct. 1150 00:46:06,164 --> 00:46:08,631 3, the number and character 1151 00:46:08,633 --> 00:46:10,633 of the remainder of the staff; 1152 00:46:10,635 --> 00:46:13,669 4, what arrangements could be made satisfactory to... 1153 00:46:15,306 --> 00:46:17,306 Come on, Katie. 1154 00:46:17,308 --> 00:46:19,875 At least it's nice and warm in here. 1155 00:46:19,877 --> 00:46:22,811 Uh, can I help you ladies? 1156 00:46:22,813 --> 00:46:24,480 Oh, I doubt it, pal, 1157 00:46:24,482 --> 00:46:26,815 but it wouldn't cost that much to try. 1158 00:46:26,817 --> 00:46:28,817 Well, this is the new hotel, isn't it? 1159 00:46:28,819 --> 00:46:31,153 Well, yes, or will be in a day or two. 1160 00:46:31,155 --> 00:46:34,323 Oh. Not yet, then? 1161 00:46:34,325 --> 00:46:36,158 Well, no, we're not open yet. 1162 00:46:36,160 --> 00:46:38,327 Oh. We was hoping for a bit of trade, 1163 00:46:38,329 --> 00:46:39,995 if you'd any gentlemen staying. 1164 00:46:39,997 --> 00:46:41,096 MARY: Out! 1165 00:46:41,098 --> 00:46:42,665 Go on, both of you. Skedaddle. 1166 00:46:42,667 --> 00:46:44,667 Hey, who the hell are you talking to, 1167 00:46:44,669 --> 00:46:45,834 little bloody skivvy? 1168 00:46:45,836 --> 00:46:47,002 You, so get out, 1169 00:46:47,004 --> 00:46:48,671 and shut the door behind you. 1170 00:46:48,673 --> 00:46:50,673 This is gonna be a hotel, isn't it? 1171 00:46:50,675 --> 00:46:51,973 Not to your kind. 1172 00:46:51,975 --> 00:46:53,509 Oh, they're all our kind, dear. 1173 00:46:53,511 --> 00:46:55,611 How long have you been down from the mountain, then? 1174 00:46:55,613 --> 00:46:56,679 Go on. Get out. 1175 00:46:56,681 --> 00:46:58,180 Mr. Merriman, help me get them out. 1176 00:46:58,182 --> 00:47:00,115 What's going on out here, for God's sake? 1177 00:47:00,117 --> 00:47:02,784 It was two ladies, sort of, ma'am. 1178 00:47:02,786 --> 00:47:04,453 They wanted to know if they could... 1179 00:47:04,455 --> 00:47:05,954 Oh, a couple of tarts, ma'am. 1180 00:47:05,956 --> 00:47:07,956 They had the effrontery to want to... 1181 00:47:07,958 --> 00:47:09,258 Anyway, I chucked them out, ma'am. 1182 00:47:09,260 --> 00:47:10,626 No bones broken, then? 1183 00:47:10,628 --> 00:47:11,793 MARY: No, ma'am. 1184 00:47:11,795 --> 00:47:13,128 That's all right, then. 1185 00:47:13,130 --> 00:47:15,130 Mary, Mr. Starr. 1186 00:47:15,132 --> 00:47:17,299 Mr. Starr is gonna join us as hall porter. 1187 00:47:17,301 --> 00:47:18,467 And Fred. 1188 00:47:18,469 --> 00:47:19,801 And Fred. 1189 00:47:19,803 --> 00:47:21,837 Mr. Merriman you already know. 1190 00:47:21,839 --> 00:47:23,138 Yes. 1191 00:47:23,140 --> 00:47:24,440 Hello. 1192 00:47:24,442 --> 00:47:26,308 Pleased to make your acquaintance, miss. 1193 00:47:26,310 --> 00:47:28,977 So we'll see you as arranged, then, Starr. 1194 00:47:28,979 --> 00:47:30,479 At your service, ma'am. 1195 00:47:32,650 --> 00:47:34,650 And a pleasure to be so. 1196 00:47:34,652 --> 00:47:35,751 Go on, Fred. 1197 00:47:39,323 --> 00:47:40,989 He's, uh... 1198 00:47:40,991 --> 00:47:42,991 He's what you had in mind, would you say, ma'am? 1199 00:47:42,993 --> 00:47:44,993 I don't know. I don't know nothing about him. 1200 00:47:44,995 --> 00:47:46,161 He interviewed me. 1201 00:47:46,163 --> 00:47:47,829 But you engaged him. 1202 00:47:47,831 --> 00:47:50,165 Yeah. I think that's why I engaged him. 1203 00:47:50,167 --> 00:47:51,833 I like mysteries. 1204 00:47:51,835 --> 00:47:53,502 Oh, Mary, one little thing. 1205 00:47:53,504 --> 00:47:54,670 Yes, ma'am? 1206 00:47:54,672 --> 00:47:56,338 When you chuck ladies out in the future, 1207 00:47:56,340 --> 00:47:57,673 do it gently, eh? Nicely. 1208 00:47:57,675 --> 00:47:58,840 What ladies, ma'am? 1209 00:47:58,842 --> 00:48:00,008 That'll do, Mary. 1210 00:48:00,010 --> 00:48:01,277 They were streetwalkers, ma'am. 1211 00:48:01,279 --> 00:48:03,945 Which is another word for working girls, Mary, 1212 00:48:03,947 --> 00:48:05,113 same as us. 1213 00:48:05,115 --> 00:48:07,549 I've told you before, you mustn't be a snob. 1214 00:48:10,621 --> 00:48:11,953 Do you like my new cap? 1215 00:48:11,955 --> 00:48:13,455 Oh, I wish we wasn't opening today. 1216 00:48:13,457 --> 00:48:14,956 Wish we was opening next week. 1217 00:48:14,958 --> 00:48:16,124 You look beautiful. 1218 00:48:16,126 --> 00:48:18,126 Tomorrow, even; this afternoon. 1219 00:48:18,128 --> 00:48:19,762 Oh, hell, Mary, what do you think? 1220 00:48:19,764 --> 00:48:20,962 That you look very beautiful. 1221 00:48:20,964 --> 00:48:22,130 I don't mean that. 1222 00:48:22,132 --> 00:48:23,465 I know you don't. 1223 00:48:23,467 --> 00:48:24,633 Thanks. 1224 00:48:24,635 --> 00:48:26,635 In fact, thanks for everything. 1225 00:48:26,637 --> 00:48:27,803 Ready? 1226 00:48:27,805 --> 00:48:29,137 Ready. Good luck, ma'am. 1227 00:48:29,139 --> 00:48:30,906 Thanks. You deserve it. 1228 00:48:38,148 --> 00:48:39,315 LOUISA: Good morning, 1229 00:48:39,317 --> 00:48:41,317 staff of the Bentinck Hotel... 1230 00:48:41,319 --> 00:48:42,651 and Fred. 1231 00:48:42,653 --> 00:48:44,152 TOGETHER: Good morning, ma'am. 1232 00:48:44,154 --> 00:48:45,821 Well, if you was expecting 1233 00:48:45,823 --> 00:48:46,988 a grand speech, 1234 00:48:46,990 --> 00:48:48,156 I'm afraid that was it... 1235 00:48:48,158 --> 00:48:49,325 except perhaps to say 1236 00:48:49,327 --> 00:48:50,492 God save the king. 1237 00:48:50,494 --> 00:48:51,993 TOGETHER: God save the king. 1238 00:48:51,995 --> 00:48:53,329 And God save the Bentinck 1239 00:48:53,331 --> 00:48:54,663 while he's about it. 1240 00:48:54,665 --> 00:48:55,997 Righto, Starr, open the door, 1241 00:48:55,999 --> 00:48:57,666 with doodah and fanfare of trumpets. 1242 00:48:57,668 --> 00:48:58,834 STARR: Ma'am. 1243 00:48:58,836 --> 00:49:01,236 [loud pop] 1244 00:49:01,238 --> 00:49:05,441 Oh, looks suspiciously like a jeroboam of champagne to me. 1245 00:49:05,443 --> 00:49:06,942 LOUISA: Cherry-bum of champagne. 1246 00:49:06,944 --> 00:49:08,109 Yes, a cherry-bum. 1247 00:49:08,111 --> 00:49:09,445 Louisa, where are the glasses? 1248 00:49:09,447 --> 00:49:10,779 I'd be delighted for you all to join me. 1249 00:49:10,781 --> 00:49:12,113 Oh, thank you, Mr. Tyrrell. 1250 00:49:12,115 --> 00:49:13,482 Come on, everyone. My room. 1251 00:49:13,484 --> 00:49:14,950 Surely not the staff, ma'am. 1252 00:49:14,952 --> 00:49:16,618 Especially the staff, Starr. 1253 00:49:16,620 --> 00:49:18,286 Champagne, 10:30 in the morning? 1254 00:49:18,288 --> 00:49:20,288 I'm ashamed of meself, I'm happy to say. 1255 00:49:20,290 --> 00:49:22,591 Come on. 1256 00:49:22,593 --> 00:49:24,292 Oh! Cold out there, by God. 1257 00:49:24,294 --> 00:49:25,961 Hey, you, come here. 1258 00:49:25,963 --> 00:49:27,095 Yes, sir? 1259 00:49:27,097 --> 00:49:28,630 Never mind the "Yes, sir." 1260 00:49:28,632 --> 00:49:30,466 I've got a cabful of luggage out there. 1261 00:49:30,468 --> 00:49:31,967 Bring it in here, and damn sharpish. 1262 00:49:31,969 --> 00:49:34,269 Yes, sir. At once, sir. 1263 00:49:34,271 --> 00:49:35,637 Just a moment, Starr. 1264 00:49:35,639 --> 00:49:37,639 For what purpose, may I ask? 1265 00:49:37,641 --> 00:49:39,140 For what purpose? 1266 00:49:39,142 --> 00:49:41,377 This is a hotel, isn't it, hmm? 1267 00:49:41,379 --> 00:49:42,644 Well, I want a room... 1268 00:49:42,646 --> 00:49:44,312 the biggest and the best you've got, 1269 00:49:44,314 --> 00:49:45,647 and a damn sight less impudence from you. 1270 00:49:45,649 --> 00:49:47,649 I don't think I caught your name, did I? 1271 00:49:47,651 --> 00:49:48,817 Oh, didn't you, now? 1272 00:49:48,819 --> 00:49:49,985 No, I didn't. 1273 00:49:49,987 --> 00:49:51,487 Oh. Then I suggest "Sir" will do from you. 1274 00:49:51,489 --> 00:49:52,855 Is "Sir" your title? 1275 00:49:52,857 --> 00:49:56,492 It is the custom, madam, for customers. 1276 00:49:56,494 --> 00:49:58,326 Atkinson... Mr. Josiah Atkinson, 1277 00:49:58,328 --> 00:49:59,661 proprietor of the Atkinson 1278 00:49:59,663 --> 00:50:00,996 Coal Mining Company, Northamptonshire. 1279 00:50:00,998 --> 00:50:02,130 I want a room befitting that position. 1280 00:50:02,132 --> 00:50:03,499 You mean in the coal cellar? 1281 00:50:03,501 --> 00:50:04,666 What? 1282 00:50:04,668 --> 00:50:06,468 I don't think we have any rooms available. 1283 00:50:06,470 --> 00:50:08,069 Good morning. 1284 00:50:08,071 --> 00:50:09,337 Madam, we've plenty of rooms available... 1285 00:50:09,339 --> 00:50:10,506 almost all of them. 1286 00:50:10,508 --> 00:50:12,007 Yeah, but not for the likes of jumped-up 1287 00:50:12,009 --> 00:50:13,709 little snotty-noses like Mr. Atkinson. 1288 00:50:13,711 --> 00:50:15,844 If you'd care to try an ordinary hotel, 1289 00:50:15,846 --> 00:50:18,179 I'm sure they'd be happy to oblige. 1290 00:50:18,181 --> 00:50:20,181 Scarper, Josh. Sling your hook. 1291 00:50:20,183 --> 00:50:21,417 Well, I don't understand. 1292 00:50:21,419 --> 00:50:23,351 That'll be all, Starr, if you catch me meaning. 1293 00:50:23,353 --> 00:50:25,020 Certainly, ma'am. 1294 00:50:25,022 --> 00:50:26,187 ATKINSON: Wait. 1295 00:50:26,189 --> 00:50:27,523 STARR: Good morning, sir. 1296 00:50:27,525 --> 00:50:28,924 [Atkinson speaking indistinctly] 1297 00:50:28,926 --> 00:50:30,358 STARR: Oops. Mind the step. 1298 00:50:30,360 --> 00:50:31,527 Lovely. 1299 00:50:31,529 --> 00:50:32,861 Right. Come on, everyone, 1300 00:50:32,863 --> 00:50:34,162 while the bubbly's still fizzing; 1301 00:50:34,164 --> 00:50:35,363 before he drinks the lot. 1302 00:50:35,365 --> 00:50:36,698 He was a wealthy man, ma'am. 1303 00:50:36,700 --> 00:50:38,534 I don't think so, dear. All he had was money. 1304 00:50:38,536 --> 00:50:39,868 Ma'am, you're always telling me 1305 00:50:39,870 --> 00:50:41,036 I mustn't be a snob. 1306 00:50:41,038 --> 00:50:42,203 And so you mustn't. 1307 00:50:42,205 --> 00:50:43,371 And I should know. I am one. 1308 00:50:43,373 --> 00:50:45,106 Oh, I don't understand. 1309 00:50:45,108 --> 00:50:46,207 Understand what, barmy? 1310 00:50:46,209 --> 00:50:47,242 What you're doing. 1311 00:50:47,244 --> 00:50:50,479 Doing? I'm starting as I mean to go on. 1312 00:50:50,481 --> 00:50:53,381 LOUISA: Right. Where's me glasses? 1313 00:50:53,383 --> 00:50:55,317 [all talking at once]