1 00:00:32,299 --> 00:00:35,800 35, 36, 38... 2 00:00:35,802 --> 00:00:39,304 40...42 is 2, carry 4... 3 00:00:39,306 --> 00:00:41,273 [knock on door] Oh, come in. 4 00:00:41,275 --> 00:00:45,544 MRS. TROTTER: 4. 4 is 7 is... 5 00:00:48,582 --> 00:00:49,915 Ahem. 6 00:00:49,917 --> 00:00:51,917 Choke up, chicken. Look, now you've gone 7 00:00:51,919 --> 00:00:53,585 and made me lose me place. 8 00:00:53,587 --> 00:00:55,220 I'm abject. 9 00:00:55,222 --> 00:00:57,556 Johnnie! 10 00:00:57,558 --> 00:00:58,790 Louisa. 11 00:00:58,792 --> 00:01:00,125 Well, I'm blowed. 12 00:01:00,127 --> 00:01:02,094 It's been a long time. 13 00:01:02,096 --> 00:01:03,362 How are you? 14 00:01:03,364 --> 00:01:05,197 Very well. You are, if possible, 15 00:01:05,199 --> 00:01:06,698 more beautiful than I remember. 16 00:01:06,700 --> 00:01:08,534 You did always have the gift of the gab. 17 00:01:08,536 --> 00:01:10,369 I seen you've been and got married. 18 00:01:10,371 --> 00:01:11,537 Yes, I did. 19 00:01:11,539 --> 00:01:12,871 Seems to suit you. 20 00:01:12,873 --> 00:01:14,540 Put on a bit of weight, ain't you? 21 00:01:14,542 --> 00:01:16,041 That is between me and my tailor. 22 00:01:16,043 --> 00:01:17,543 And I read in the "Gazette" 23 00:01:17,545 --> 00:01:18,877 You gave up the equerry lark. 24 00:01:18,879 --> 00:01:20,212 Couldn't stand the pace, eh? 25 00:01:20,214 --> 00:01:21,547 Not that and marriage. 26 00:01:21,549 --> 00:01:22,747 Oh, no, I should think not. 27 00:01:22,749 --> 00:01:23,748 How did himself take it, though? 28 00:01:23,750 --> 00:01:24,883 Oh, predictably. 29 00:01:24,885 --> 00:01:27,052 Roared like a lion at first. Sulked for days. 30 00:01:27,054 --> 00:01:28,554 Finally came to the wedding 31 00:01:28,556 --> 00:01:30,055 and shed tears of joy over all. 32 00:01:30,057 --> 00:01:31,223 Yeah, I expect by then he'd made up his mind 33 00:01:31,225 --> 00:01:33,058 the whole thing was his idea. 34 00:01:33,060 --> 00:01:34,393 I rather think he had. 35 00:01:34,395 --> 00:01:36,395 So now you're back with the battalion, eh? 36 00:01:36,397 --> 00:01:37,729 Second in command. 37 00:01:37,731 --> 00:01:39,064 Well, I'm blowed. 38 00:01:39,066 --> 00:01:40,566 Here, sit down. 39 00:01:40,568 --> 00:01:42,067 Oh, thank you. 40 00:01:42,069 --> 00:01:44,570 So what brings you here, then? 41 00:01:44,572 --> 00:01:46,671 Well, you know it's Ascot week. 42 00:01:46,673 --> 00:01:48,173 Oh, I sure do. 43 00:01:48,175 --> 00:01:49,575 Been fairly run off me feet, what with 44 00:01:49,577 --> 00:01:51,076 Ascot luncheons and dinners to do 45 00:01:51,078 --> 00:01:52,411 here, there, and everywhere. 46 00:01:52,413 --> 00:01:53,878 Thank God it's the last day tomorrow. 47 00:01:53,880 --> 00:01:55,247 Oh, dear. 48 00:01:55,249 --> 00:01:57,082 Why? What's it to you? 49 00:01:57,084 --> 00:01:59,084 Well, Phillida... my wife... 50 00:01:59,086 --> 00:02:01,853 was fearfully keen to do the thing properly. 51 00:02:01,855 --> 00:02:03,355 But for one reason and another, 52 00:02:03,357 --> 00:02:04,856 she's never managed to before and so... 53 00:02:04,858 --> 00:02:06,358 well, we couldn't really afford it, 54 00:02:06,360 --> 00:02:08,026 but we took a house down there. 55 00:02:08,028 --> 00:02:09,928 Oh, you're a bit lovely, ain't you? 56 00:02:09,930 --> 00:02:12,364 Oh, just a small house party. Should have been ideal. 57 00:02:12,366 --> 00:02:14,032 It's been an utter disaster. 58 00:02:14,034 --> 00:02:15,534 What, the guests not get on? 59 00:02:15,536 --> 00:02:17,536 Least of our problems, although nothing's ever right 60 00:02:17,538 --> 00:02:20,539 for Phillida's godfather, contentious old devil. 61 00:02:20,541 --> 00:02:23,041 His wife's pretty free with unsolicited advice, too. 62 00:02:23,043 --> 00:02:25,544 But...well, Phillida is inexperienced. 63 00:02:25,546 --> 00:02:27,879 And the staff we've inherited... 64 00:02:27,881 --> 00:02:30,048 they simply defy description. 65 00:02:30,050 --> 00:02:32,551 What with the rain, I think yesterday was 66 00:02:32,553 --> 00:02:35,020 the worst day we've had since we got married. 67 00:02:35,022 --> 00:02:36,188 Oh, dear. I am sorry. 68 00:02:36,190 --> 00:02:37,722 Don't see what I can do about it. 69 00:02:37,724 --> 00:02:39,224 I was rather hoping you'd help me 70 00:02:39,226 --> 00:02:40,325 to take the curse off that house. 71 00:02:40,327 --> 00:02:41,560 How? 72 00:02:41,562 --> 00:02:42,894 Well, if I could organize 73 00:02:42,896 --> 00:02:45,397 a really good dinner for the last day... 74 00:02:45,399 --> 00:02:46,898 Tomorrow? Forget it! 75 00:02:46,900 --> 00:02:49,067 I've had 7 dinners to do already this week, 76 00:02:49,069 --> 00:02:50,902 never mind about running the hotel. 77 00:02:50,904 --> 00:02:52,471 Oh, yes. I do see. 78 00:02:52,473 --> 00:02:54,473 I wouldn't have asked if Charlie Haslemere 79 00:02:54,475 --> 00:02:56,675 hadn't said you'd help if you possibly could. 80 00:02:56,677 --> 00:02:58,009 Oh, he put you up to it, did he? 81 00:02:58,011 --> 00:02:59,010 Might have known. 82 00:02:59,012 --> 00:03:00,945 No, no, no. Actually, it all started 83 00:03:00,947 --> 00:03:03,649 because the palace has offered me a sturgeon. 84 00:03:03,651 --> 00:03:06,017 I've been on the list a long time, 85 00:03:06,019 --> 00:03:07,519 and it did seem providential 86 00:03:07,521 --> 00:03:09,521 if we were going to give a very special dinner. 87 00:03:09,523 --> 00:03:10,922 Oh, yeah, couldn't go far wrong with that. 88 00:03:10,924 --> 00:03:12,524 Cook we've got could go wrong 89 00:03:12,526 --> 00:03:14,759 with sardines on toast, and has. 90 00:03:14,761 --> 00:03:17,529 Besides, as Charlie said, it's the royal fish, 91 00:03:17,531 --> 00:03:20,031 and who else could I ask to present it 92 00:03:20,033 --> 00:03:21,733 but the Queen of Cooks? 93 00:03:21,735 --> 00:03:23,735 You're a crafty couple of devils, 94 00:03:23,737 --> 00:03:24,869 ain't you? 95 00:03:24,871 --> 00:03:27,206 If I were to go down on my bended knee... 96 00:03:27,208 --> 00:03:29,374 What else would you have besides? 97 00:03:29,376 --> 00:03:31,042 Oh, I'd leave it to you. 98 00:03:31,044 --> 00:03:32,377 Bended knee, you said? 99 00:03:32,379 --> 00:03:34,379 Here, get up off of there. 100 00:03:34,381 --> 00:03:35,880 Somebody will come in. 101 00:03:35,882 --> 00:03:37,649 Not until I have your answer. 102 00:03:37,651 --> 00:03:39,551 Oh, all right. 103 00:03:39,553 --> 00:03:41,553 You're a real friend. 104 00:03:41,555 --> 00:03:43,054 I'm a snob 105 00:03:43,056 --> 00:03:45,224 on top of being a sentimental fool. 106 00:03:45,226 --> 00:03:47,058 What's the address? 107 00:03:47,060 --> 00:03:49,561 And how many will you be? 108 00:03:49,563 --> 00:03:51,563 I thought 10, all told. 109 00:03:51,565 --> 00:03:53,565 How's your cellars down there? 110 00:03:53,567 --> 00:03:55,066 Deplorable. 111 00:03:55,068 --> 00:03:58,069 Sounds to me like you've been robbed. 112 00:03:58,071 --> 00:04:00,071 So you'll want me to do the wines 113 00:04:00,073 --> 00:04:01,573 as well, will you? 114 00:04:01,575 --> 00:04:03,508 Oh, everything. I leave it all to you. 115 00:04:03,510 --> 00:04:06,010 You mean you want to get off to the races. 116 00:04:06,012 --> 00:04:07,679 Well... Oh, go on. 117 00:04:07,681 --> 00:04:09,180 Here. How big is this sturgeon? 118 00:04:09,182 --> 00:04:11,683 Do I get it picked up, or do they send it over? 119 00:04:11,685 --> 00:04:13,685 I've really no idea. 120 00:04:13,687 --> 00:04:15,186 Oh, get along with you. 121 00:04:15,188 --> 00:04:17,021 I'll telephone the bloomin' palace meself. 122 00:04:17,023 --> 00:04:18,523 You're an angel. 123 00:04:18,525 --> 00:04:20,525 Yeah, I know all about that. 124 00:04:20,527 --> 00:04:22,026 Have a nice day. 125 00:04:22,028 --> 00:04:24,630 We'll be along to sort you out tomorrow. 126 00:04:24,632 --> 00:04:26,531 [door closes] 127 00:04:26,533 --> 00:04:27,966 Oh, dear. 128 00:04:29,536 --> 00:04:31,470 Sturgeon, eh? 129 00:04:43,216 --> 00:04:45,150 Oh, well. 130 00:04:49,556 --> 00:04:50,989 Major? 131 00:04:50,991 --> 00:04:52,324 Coming. 132 00:04:56,062 --> 00:04:58,062 Good morning, Mrs. Trotter. 133 00:04:58,064 --> 00:04:59,564 Morning, Major. 134 00:04:59,566 --> 00:05:00,999 Money no object, 135 00:05:01,001 --> 00:05:02,501 what wine would you serve 136 00:05:02,503 --> 00:05:04,002 with a sturgeon? 137 00:05:04,004 --> 00:05:05,370 Sturgeon, eh? 138 00:05:05,372 --> 00:05:07,005 When is this for? 139 00:05:07,007 --> 00:05:08,173 Tomorrow. 140 00:05:08,175 --> 00:05:10,175 Dinner for the palace, I take it. 141 00:05:10,177 --> 00:05:13,011 No. It's an Ascot party, if you must know. 142 00:05:13,013 --> 00:05:15,013 Well, I think with sturgeon, 143 00:05:15,015 --> 00:05:18,016 I'd serve a Rhône wine, perhaps a Chante-Alouette. 144 00:05:18,018 --> 00:05:20,519 Of course, there's the Puligny-Montrachet '02, 145 00:05:20,521 --> 00:05:22,521 if you really want to spoil them. 146 00:05:22,523 --> 00:05:24,022 Perfect. 147 00:05:24,024 --> 00:05:25,857 Puligny-Montrachet, 1902. 148 00:05:25,859 --> 00:05:28,860 I thought you were having the day off tomorrow. 149 00:05:28,862 --> 00:05:30,195 Not anymore. 150 00:05:30,197 --> 00:05:31,530 I see. 151 00:05:31,532 --> 00:05:33,532 A very special customer. 152 00:05:33,534 --> 00:05:35,233 Pal of Charlie's. 153 00:05:35,235 --> 00:05:36,601 Oh, that explains everything. 154 00:05:36,603 --> 00:05:38,537 Well, got to help out when you can, 155 00:05:38,539 --> 00:05:40,171 or else what's the use of friends? 156 00:05:40,173 --> 00:05:41,540 Quite so. 157 00:05:41,542 --> 00:05:45,009 You don't happen to know Desmond Elleston, do you? 158 00:05:45,011 --> 00:05:47,846 I believe he's a pal of Charlie's. Why? 159 00:05:47,848 --> 00:05:49,348 He owns Vital Spark. 160 00:05:49,350 --> 00:05:51,483 Oh, bloomin' racehorse, I suppose. 161 00:05:51,485 --> 00:05:53,552 And well-fancied for the Alexandra Stakes tomorrow. 162 00:05:53,554 --> 00:05:55,620 I already got one sure-fire tip... 163 00:05:55,622 --> 00:05:57,622 Bembo for the Hardwicke... and I was thinking 164 00:05:57,624 --> 00:06:00,124 of making Vital Spark the second leg of a double. 165 00:06:00,126 --> 00:06:02,461 I wondered whether Charlie had any inside advice. 166 00:06:02,463 --> 00:06:04,631 I don't know, I'm sure. Give you mine for nothing. 167 00:06:04,631 --> 00:06:05,532 I was rather afraid you would. 168 00:06:05,532 --> 00:06:06,765 Save your money. 169 00:06:06,767 --> 00:06:08,166 You don't understand. 170 00:06:08,168 --> 00:06:11,169 The beauty of a double is that one gets multiplied odds. 171 00:06:11,171 --> 00:06:12,372 I'm thinking of the horses. 172 00:06:12,372 --> 00:06:14,307 You back them, odds are they drop down dead. 173 00:06:15,509 --> 00:06:18,243 I'm due for a run of luck. 174 00:06:18,245 --> 00:06:19,845 You have been, Major, 175 00:06:19,847 --> 00:06:21,045 ever since I've known you. 176 00:06:21,047 --> 00:06:22,048 You take my tip. 177 00:06:22,048 --> 00:06:24,918 Far as Ascot goes, you drive the bus for me tomorrow. 178 00:06:25,519 --> 00:06:27,018 Oh, very well. 179 00:06:28,288 --> 00:06:30,121 I'd better go and give her a rubdown. 180 00:06:35,829 --> 00:06:37,763 [door closes] 181 00:06:58,051 --> 00:06:59,951 I've just checked those. 182 00:06:59,953 --> 00:07:01,252 Where's Old Major Whiskers? 183 00:07:01,254 --> 00:07:03,922 I'm sure I don't know who you're talking about. 184 00:07:03,924 --> 00:07:05,256 You know perfectly well. 185 00:07:05,258 --> 00:07:07,426 What I do know, Mary, is that I was brought up 186 00:07:07,428 --> 00:07:08,927 not to make fun of my elders. 187 00:07:08,929 --> 00:07:10,429 There can't be many. 188 00:07:10,431 --> 00:07:12,431 Least of all when they're not present. 189 00:07:12,433 --> 00:07:13,932 I already told you, I've checked those! 190 00:07:13,934 --> 00:07:15,434 Well, then, you can get on 191 00:07:15,436 --> 00:07:16,935 with something else, can't you? 192 00:07:16,937 --> 00:07:18,437 And furthermore, 193 00:07:18,439 --> 00:07:19,938 I don't have to take orders from you. 194 00:07:19,940 --> 00:07:21,940 Mrs. Trotter said I'm to look after things. 195 00:07:21,942 --> 00:07:23,442 Oh, I'm not to be trusted. 196 00:07:23,444 --> 00:07:24,943 Is that it? 197 00:07:24,945 --> 00:07:26,445 I'm only doing as I'm told. 198 00:07:26,447 --> 00:07:27,946 Now, why don't you? 199 00:07:27,948 --> 00:07:29,448 Mrs. Cochrane, Mary. Lovely day. 200 00:07:29,450 --> 00:07:30,949 Where's the bus? 201 00:07:30,951 --> 00:07:32,283 Outside. 202 00:07:32,285 --> 00:07:34,285 Well, it wasn't a moment ago. 203 00:07:34,287 --> 00:07:37,456 True, but then, a moment ago, I wasn't in here. 204 00:07:37,458 --> 00:07:39,958 The one constant in life, Mary, is change. 205 00:07:39,960 --> 00:07:42,461 Did I ever tell you, Mrs. Cochrane, that my time 206 00:07:42,463 --> 00:07:44,463 in India has made me something of a philosopher? 207 00:07:44,465 --> 00:07:45,298 You did not. 208 00:07:45,298 --> 00:07:47,466 Given half a chance, he will. 209 00:07:47,468 --> 00:07:48,967 In my experience, Mary, 210 00:07:48,969 --> 00:07:52,471 bores are infinitely preferable to bullies. 211 00:07:52,473 --> 00:07:54,473 Are you calling me a bully? 212 00:07:54,475 --> 00:07:55,640 Yes. 213 00:07:55,642 --> 00:07:56,975 Hear, hear. 214 00:07:56,977 --> 00:07:59,310 Equally, madam, I would ask you not to provoke her. 215 00:07:59,312 --> 00:08:01,412 I have lived too long to have the evening of my days 216 00:08:01,414 --> 00:08:03,414 made hideous by quarrels belowstairs. 217 00:08:03,416 --> 00:08:05,249 What is more to the point, 218 00:08:05,251 --> 00:08:06,918 if you two can't find a way to rub along, 219 00:08:06,920 --> 00:08:08,587 Mrs. Trotter's going to hear about it, 220 00:08:08,589 --> 00:08:10,421 and then there really will be trouble. 221 00:08:10,423 --> 00:08:11,923 He's right. 222 00:08:11,925 --> 00:08:13,424 I'm sure I've gone out of my way to get on with her. 223 00:08:13,426 --> 00:08:15,628 Oh, 6 of one and half a dozen of the other. 224 00:08:15,929 --> 00:08:16,930 Well, all right. 225 00:08:16,930 --> 00:08:18,365 Let's get on and bottle these sauces. 226 00:08:18,365 --> 00:08:20,200 That's something we can do together. 227 00:08:20,200 --> 00:08:21,301 MAJOR: Good. 228 00:08:34,915 --> 00:08:35,446 MRS. COCHRANE: Don't you think 229 00:08:35,448 --> 00:08:37,448 we should start loading some of this, Major? 230 00:08:37,450 --> 00:08:39,350 Not until Mrs. Trotter's checked it. 231 00:08:39,352 --> 00:08:41,620 I took particular note of her instructions. 232 00:08:41,622 --> 00:08:43,890 It's nothing personal. Honest. 233 00:08:43,890 --> 00:08:46,491 Mrs. Trotter does like to check everything herself. 234 00:08:46,493 --> 00:08:48,960 Yes, I do, and you know why? 235 00:08:48,962 --> 00:08:50,962 Because if anything's wrong, you laugh, 236 00:08:50,964 --> 00:08:52,631 and it's my head that rolls. 237 00:08:52,633 --> 00:08:53,388 Right? 238 00:08:53,412 --> 00:08:55,335 Get your hat and coat on, Mrs. C. 239 00:08:55,669 --> 00:08:57,370 Everything in that box of mine, Mary? 240 00:08:57,370 --> 00:08:58,171 - Yeah. - Good. 241 00:08:58,171 --> 00:08:59,638 - What's this? - Asparagus. 242 00:08:59,640 --> 00:09:01,141 - Kept damp like I told you? - Yep. 243 00:09:01,474 --> 00:09:02,273 What are you up to? 244 00:09:02,275 --> 00:09:05,678 3 of Madeira, 3 of Imperial Tokay, and... 245 00:09:05,678 --> 00:09:06,578 half a dozen each of the others. 246 00:09:06,580 --> 00:09:07,981 Looks to me like more. 247 00:09:07,981 --> 00:09:08,782 That's the wine. 248 00:09:08,782 --> 00:09:11,249 I've also put up 2 bottles of port and 2 bottles of brandy. 249 00:09:11,518 --> 00:09:12,285 Which port? 250 00:09:12,285 --> 00:09:14,655 Quinta do Noval '69. I've decanted it already. 251 00:09:14,655 --> 00:09:15,688 Good brandy? 252 00:09:15,688 --> 00:09:18,758 A 15-year-old Exshaw. That should do them all right. 253 00:09:18,758 --> 00:09:20,794 And did you remember to cross it off the stock list? 254 00:09:20,961 --> 00:09:22,228 I have now. 255 00:09:22,329 --> 00:09:24,364 You're a bit of a quick-change artist. 256 00:09:26,699 --> 00:09:28,368 I reckon the 3 of you has done a good job. 257 00:09:28,368 --> 00:09:29,469 Better load up now. 258 00:09:31,905 --> 00:09:34,207 Are we going to need all these utensils? 259 00:09:34,207 --> 00:09:35,842 I don't know, but it's a rented house. 260 00:09:35,943 --> 00:09:38,109 There's no knowing what they may have or not have, 261 00:09:38,111 --> 00:09:40,445 so my motto is, "Get yourself covered, girl." 262 00:09:40,447 --> 00:09:42,148 And you'd better take the big fish kettle. 263 00:09:42,148 --> 00:09:43,483 They're bound not to have one of them. 264 00:09:44,451 --> 00:09:46,319 Are you going to be able to hold the fort all right, Mary? 265 00:09:46,319 --> 00:09:47,341 Yep. 266 00:09:47,365 --> 00:09:48,453 Oh, did you have a word 267 00:09:48,455 --> 00:09:49,588 with the couple in number 7? 268 00:09:49,590 --> 00:09:51,456 Oh, blimey. Nearly forgot. You were quite right. 269 00:09:51,458 --> 00:09:53,024 Couldn't begin to pay their bill. 270 00:09:53,026 --> 00:09:54,125 I knew it. 271 00:09:54,127 --> 00:09:55,794 Mind you, it was astronomical. 272 00:09:55,796 --> 00:09:58,098 It wasn't when I first spoke to you. 273 00:09:58,098 --> 00:10:01,299 Anyway, I put it on Sir George's bill. 274 00:10:01,301 --> 00:10:02,467 Well! 275 00:10:02,469 --> 00:10:03,969 Suppose he finds out? 276 00:10:03,971 --> 00:10:07,271 Sir George find out? Don't believe he can read. 277 00:10:35,836 --> 00:10:38,502 Pity to go to Ascot and miss the races. 278 00:10:38,504 --> 00:10:40,671 We got a job of work to do. 279 00:10:40,673 --> 00:10:42,173 Oh, quite. 280 00:10:42,175 --> 00:10:43,674 MRS. TROTTER: Besides, 281 00:10:43,676 --> 00:10:45,610 think of the money you're saving. 282 00:10:45,612 --> 00:10:48,113 I arranged for my modest investment 283 00:10:48,115 --> 00:10:50,248 to be handled by Starr. 284 00:10:50,250 --> 00:10:52,583 You'll never learn, will you? 285 00:10:52,585 --> 00:10:55,086 I did decide against the double. 286 00:10:55,088 --> 00:10:57,288 Just plunged on Bembo. 287 00:10:57,290 --> 00:10:58,923 Well, it's something for you 288 00:10:58,925 --> 00:11:00,691 to be halfway sensible, I suppose. 289 00:11:00,693 --> 00:11:03,361 If he romps home at 7-1, 290 00:11:03,363 --> 00:11:05,363 you will regret those words. 291 00:11:05,365 --> 00:11:07,465 I might, if he does. 292 00:11:14,975 --> 00:11:16,474 Mrs. C. Is very quiet, 293 00:11:16,476 --> 00:11:18,042 ain't she? 294 00:11:18,044 --> 00:11:20,044 Yorkshire-bred. 295 00:11:20,046 --> 00:11:22,213 Notably dour lot. 296 00:11:22,215 --> 00:11:25,884 Long on stoicism, short on words. 297 00:11:25,886 --> 00:11:27,854 But I ain't heard a word out of her 298 00:11:27,854 --> 00:11:29,656 since we left the hotel. 299 00:11:31,357 --> 00:11:33,391 Blimey, she don't half look poorly. 300 00:11:33,393 --> 00:11:34,893 Hope she's not going to be Uncle Dick 301 00:11:34,895 --> 00:11:36,494 over these goods. 302 00:11:38,198 --> 00:11:39,563 Fearful affliction. 303 00:11:39,565 --> 00:11:41,565 There's nothing I can do. 304 00:11:41,567 --> 00:11:43,567 Nor anyone. It's incurable. 305 00:11:43,569 --> 00:11:45,069 Knew a fellow once in the frontier force 306 00:11:45,071 --> 00:11:47,071 got it from mules. 307 00:11:47,073 --> 00:11:49,073 Great strapping fellow. 308 00:11:49,075 --> 00:11:53,077 Horses, camels, elephants, even...no problem. 309 00:11:53,079 --> 00:11:56,080 But mules...the mere sight of one would lay him low 310 00:11:56,082 --> 00:11:58,582 as effectively as any wily Pathan... 311 00:11:58,584 --> 00:12:00,084 Blimey. 312 00:12:00,086 --> 00:12:02,020 And with less dignity. 313 00:12:02,022 --> 00:12:04,022 How much further? 314 00:12:04,024 --> 00:12:06,590 Oh, with any luck, say half an hour. 315 00:12:06,592 --> 00:12:09,127 Oh, poor cow. 316 00:12:31,651 --> 00:12:34,285 Here, this is the front. We go round the back. 317 00:12:34,287 --> 00:12:36,120 MAJOR: What? 318 00:12:36,122 --> 00:12:38,056 Oh. Yes. 319 00:12:38,058 --> 00:12:39,891 Sorry. 320 00:12:39,893 --> 00:12:41,559 One forgets. 321 00:13:21,734 --> 00:13:23,634 We're here. 322 00:13:25,705 --> 00:13:27,471 Here you are, then. 323 00:13:29,542 --> 00:13:31,042 You'll live. 324 00:13:31,044 --> 00:13:32,543 Yes, madam. 325 00:13:32,545 --> 00:13:34,545 Oh, I'm sorry, madam. 326 00:13:34,547 --> 00:13:36,047 You'll be right as rain 327 00:13:36,049 --> 00:13:37,548 when you've had a cup of tea. 328 00:13:37,550 --> 00:13:40,218 Yes, madam. Thank you. 329 00:13:42,555 --> 00:13:44,555 No wonder they wanted a good meal. 330 00:13:44,557 --> 00:13:47,325 Yes. Not much to feast the eye on, is there? 331 00:13:47,327 --> 00:13:49,394 And no welcome on the mat. 332 00:13:49,396 --> 00:13:52,563 Oh, well. You can start bringing the things in 333 00:13:52,565 --> 00:13:54,498 soon as she feels herself. 334 00:14:01,341 --> 00:14:03,274 [bell rings] 335 00:14:08,514 --> 00:14:10,114 [knock on door] 336 00:14:10,116 --> 00:14:13,084 You have all day. I haven't. 337 00:14:16,022 --> 00:14:16,988 [knocking] 338 00:14:28,034 --> 00:14:29,133 Hello. 339 00:14:30,536 --> 00:14:32,203 Who are you? 340 00:14:32,205 --> 00:14:33,537 Kath, ma'am. 341 00:14:33,539 --> 00:14:35,539 You aren't very old, Kath, are you? 342 00:14:35,541 --> 00:14:36,874 What's your position? 343 00:14:36,876 --> 00:14:38,042 Tweeny, ma'am. 344 00:14:38,044 --> 00:14:40,044 A hard life but a merry one, eh? 345 00:14:40,046 --> 00:14:41,446 No, not so merry. 346 00:14:42,482 --> 00:14:43,547 I'm Mrs. Trotter. 347 00:14:43,549 --> 00:14:46,217 That mean anything to you? 348 00:14:46,219 --> 00:14:48,386 I'm here to do the dinner. 349 00:14:48,388 --> 00:14:51,022 I'll have to ask Mr. Sterling. 350 00:14:51,024 --> 00:14:52,723 Yeah, you do that, then. 351 00:14:52,725 --> 00:14:55,559 And tell him to get his skates on! 352 00:14:55,561 --> 00:14:57,996 [muttering] 353 00:14:57,998 --> 00:14:59,130 You feeling better? 354 00:14:59,132 --> 00:15:01,099 Quite myself again. 355 00:15:01,101 --> 00:15:02,433 You're sure, now? 356 00:15:02,435 --> 00:15:03,901 Yes, thank you, Major. 357 00:15:03,903 --> 00:15:05,936 Then shall we... 358 00:15:05,938 --> 00:15:07,905 Right. 359 00:15:09,442 --> 00:15:10,510 Mrs. Trotter? 360 00:15:10,510 --> 00:15:11,778 Mr. Sterling. Hello. 361 00:15:12,012 --> 00:15:13,079 How do you do? 362 00:15:13,079 --> 00:15:14,445 I'll be a lot better when I can get in 363 00:15:14,447 --> 00:15:16,447 to start on the dinner, if you've no objections. 364 00:15:16,449 --> 00:15:19,152 I haven't, but the kitchen staff's in an uproar. 365 00:15:19,452 --> 00:15:20,286 You're the butler here. 366 00:15:20,286 --> 00:15:22,021 Don't want to be defeated before we start. 367 00:15:22,021 --> 00:15:24,455 But you see, when the master let this house 368 00:15:24,457 --> 00:15:26,457 for the races, he sent all the staff on holiday 369 00:15:26,459 --> 00:15:28,459 excepting myself and young Kath, 370 00:15:28,461 --> 00:15:31,295 who's hardly dry behind the ears. 371 00:15:31,297 --> 00:15:32,963 This lot come from an agency, 372 00:15:32,965 --> 00:15:34,465 and from start to finish, 373 00:15:34,467 --> 00:15:35,835 they've been nothing but trouble. 374 00:15:35,968 --> 00:15:37,770 Moaning's not going to change them, is it, now? 375 00:15:38,304 --> 00:15:39,404 Come on. 376 00:15:49,982 --> 00:15:52,985 Well, you going to do the honors, Mr. Sterling? 377 00:15:52,985 --> 00:15:55,453 Oh, yes, yes. This is Mrs. Trotter. 378 00:15:55,455 --> 00:15:59,123 STERLING: Mrs. Bertram and her staff. 379 00:15:59,125 --> 00:16:01,759 What's the matter? Deaf and dumb, are you? 380 00:16:01,761 --> 00:16:03,761 We've been insulted, haven't we? 381 00:16:03,763 --> 00:16:05,596 Not by me, you haven't. Not yet. 382 00:16:05,598 --> 00:16:07,098 Bringing you down here 383 00:16:07,100 --> 00:16:08,433 without so much as a by-your-leave? 384 00:16:08,435 --> 00:16:09,600 Whose leave? Yours? 385 00:16:09,602 --> 00:16:11,102 You got some funny ideas, ain't you? 386 00:16:11,104 --> 00:16:12,370 This is my kitchen. 387 00:16:12,372 --> 00:16:14,605 And welcome, from what I've seen of it. 388 00:16:14,607 --> 00:16:16,441 Look, I don't want your job. 389 00:16:16,443 --> 00:16:17,942 I didn't particularly want to come down here 390 00:16:17,944 --> 00:16:19,043 and do this dinner. 391 00:16:19,045 --> 00:16:20,545 You touch one thing in here, 392 00:16:20,547 --> 00:16:22,113 and we give in our notice. 393 00:16:22,115 --> 00:16:23,281 MRS. TROTTER: All of you? 394 00:16:23,283 --> 00:16:24,282 MRS. BERTRAM: All of us. 395 00:16:24,284 --> 00:16:24,851 We talked it over. 396 00:16:24,851 --> 00:16:26,684 Yeah, bet I know who done most of the talking. 397 00:16:26,686 --> 00:16:28,553 I'm not going to stand here... 398 00:16:28,555 --> 00:16:29,720 you're telling me. 399 00:16:29,722 --> 00:16:32,223 Now, Sir John asked me down to do him a dinner, 400 00:16:32,225 --> 00:16:34,225 and I can see why now. 401 00:16:34,227 --> 00:16:36,394 Never mind you're a bunch of surly so-and-sos. 402 00:16:36,396 --> 00:16:37,895 The muck this place is in, 403 00:16:37,897 --> 00:16:39,363 you're not fit to serve swill. 404 00:16:39,365 --> 00:16:40,598 Don't you speak to me... 405 00:16:40,600 --> 00:16:42,100 you ain't heard nothing yet. 406 00:16:42,102 --> 00:16:43,601 Look at this place. It's a disgrace. 407 00:16:43,603 --> 00:16:45,603 How long since this been scrubbed? 408 00:16:45,605 --> 00:16:47,638 You call yourself a cook? 409 00:16:47,640 --> 00:16:49,640 My God. All your airs and graces, 410 00:16:49,642 --> 00:16:51,976 you're an insanitary slummock, that's what you are. 411 00:16:51,978 --> 00:16:54,479 Give in your notice? I can't wait that long. 412 00:16:54,481 --> 00:16:56,647 Don't want you in here a moment longer. 413 00:16:56,649 --> 00:16:57,982 Touch one thing, was it? 414 00:16:57,984 --> 00:16:59,317 Here you are, then. 415 00:16:59,319 --> 00:17:02,019 You better get off before I'm tempted to use it on you! 416 00:17:02,021 --> 00:17:04,522 I'll get off, all right. 417 00:17:04,524 --> 00:17:07,592 But I hope you make a proper mess of things! 418 00:17:10,130 --> 00:17:11,762 MRS. TROTTER: And the rest of you can suit yourselves. 419 00:17:11,764 --> 00:17:13,264 Stay, and you might learn something... 420 00:17:13,266 --> 00:17:15,433 though from the look of the place, I doubt it... 421 00:17:15,435 --> 00:17:16,202 or push off out of here. 422 00:17:16,202 --> 00:17:18,304 I don't want a bunch of layabouts under me feet, 423 00:17:18,538 --> 00:17:20,871 so make up your minds. 424 00:17:27,280 --> 00:17:29,180 Oh, madam. 425 00:17:32,952 --> 00:17:34,952 Well, 426 00:17:34,954 --> 00:17:36,454 looks like we're going to be short-handed. 427 00:17:36,456 --> 00:17:38,956 MAJOR: At least we now know where we are. 428 00:17:38,958 --> 00:17:40,458 STERLING: I'd be happier 429 00:17:40,460 --> 00:17:42,460 if her ladyship had been consulted. 430 00:17:42,462 --> 00:17:43,961 Yeah, well, she's at the races, ain't she? 431 00:17:43,963 --> 00:17:45,463 We'd stood here arguing all day, 432 00:17:45,465 --> 00:17:47,031 we'd never have got dinner. 433 00:17:47,033 --> 00:17:48,633 I get the feeling she'll be consulted 434 00:17:48,635 --> 00:17:50,301 the moment she sets her foot inside the door. 435 00:17:50,303 --> 00:17:52,203 We'll cope with that when it happens. 436 00:17:52,205 --> 00:17:54,138 What other staff have you got? 437 00:17:54,140 --> 00:17:55,473 STERLING: Only outdoor. 438 00:17:55,475 --> 00:17:56,940 Valets? Ladies' maids? 439 00:17:56,942 --> 00:17:58,643 There's Sir John's soldier servant 440 00:17:58,645 --> 00:18:00,278 and Lady Farjeon's maid. 441 00:18:00,280 --> 00:18:01,212 Between us, we've been looking after 442 00:18:01,214 --> 00:18:02,246 all the guests. 443 00:18:02,248 --> 00:18:03,581 You fetch them in here. 444 00:18:03,583 --> 00:18:04,915 STERLING: It's highly irregular. 445 00:18:04,917 --> 00:18:07,017 It's all hands to a sinking ship. 446 00:18:07,019 --> 00:18:08,752 MAJOR: Rats apart. 447 00:18:08,754 --> 00:18:10,921 Yes, I suppose so. 448 00:18:10,923 --> 00:18:12,923 Where do you want the things from the bus? 449 00:18:12,925 --> 00:18:14,925 Put them over there for the moment, 450 00:18:14,927 --> 00:18:16,427 out of the way. 451 00:18:16,429 --> 00:18:17,928 I've got to sort out 452 00:18:17,930 --> 00:18:19,197 what needs to be done. 453 00:18:19,199 --> 00:18:20,698 Here, uh... 454 00:18:20,700 --> 00:18:22,166 What's your name? Kate, is it? 455 00:18:22,168 --> 00:18:23,434 Kath, ma'am. 456 00:18:23,436 --> 00:18:25,436 Kath, here you are. 457 00:18:27,440 --> 00:18:29,675 What if I'm worse than her? I could be, you know. 458 00:18:29,709 --> 00:18:32,142 Are you going to risk it? 459 00:18:32,144 --> 00:18:33,777 Good girl. 460 00:18:33,779 --> 00:18:35,446 Then you're kitchen maid. 461 00:18:35,448 --> 00:18:37,147 There. There's one problem solved. 462 00:18:50,463 --> 00:18:52,963 Guardsman Wilson, Miss Jennett, 463 00:18:52,965 --> 00:18:54,298 Mrs. Trotter. 464 00:18:54,300 --> 00:18:55,633 MRS. TROTTER: Hello. Mrs. Cochrane. 465 00:18:55,635 --> 00:18:56,967 MRS. COCHRANE: Good day. 466 00:18:56,969 --> 00:18:58,936 MRS. TROTTER: And Major Smith-Barton. 467 00:18:58,938 --> 00:19:00,204 Sir. 468 00:19:00,206 --> 00:19:01,639 Thank you, Wilson, 469 00:19:01,641 --> 00:19:03,407 but I think, in the circumstances, 470 00:19:03,409 --> 00:19:04,508 we can dispense with the formalities. 471 00:19:04,510 --> 00:19:06,577 Sir. 472 00:19:06,579 --> 00:19:08,078 We're in a bit of a pickle, 473 00:19:08,080 --> 00:19:09,413 as I expect you've heard by now. 474 00:19:09,415 --> 00:19:10,914 Well, I had rather gathered. 475 00:19:10,916 --> 00:19:12,250 Never listen to gossip. 476 00:19:12,252 --> 00:19:13,152 Well, that must make life dull. 477 00:19:13,152 --> 00:19:14,120 Ma'am? 478 00:19:14,254 --> 00:19:15,321 Oh, never mind. 479 00:19:15,321 --> 00:19:17,289 The thing is, we can sort it out ourselves. 480 00:19:17,457 --> 00:19:18,756 Just if you was willing to lend a hand, 481 00:19:18,758 --> 00:19:20,090 we could sort it out that much quicker. 482 00:19:20,092 --> 00:19:21,925 So what do you say? 483 00:19:21,927 --> 00:19:24,163 Well, if it means Sir John and her ladyship 484 00:19:24,163 --> 00:19:25,398 having the dinner they've been hoping for, 485 00:19:25,398 --> 00:19:27,366 - I volunteer. - Oh, yes. 486 00:19:27,366 --> 00:19:28,601 They deserve a nice evening 487 00:19:28,601 --> 00:19:29,902 after all that's been going on. 488 00:19:29,902 --> 00:19:30,770 They really do. 489 00:19:30,770 --> 00:19:32,171 Slovenly lot, that other lot was. 490 00:19:32,171 --> 00:19:33,504 Well, we're lucky to have Mr. Sterling, 491 00:19:33,506 --> 00:19:34,639 him knowing the place so well. 492 00:19:34,641 --> 00:19:36,440 Can't let Kathy be the only one 493 00:19:36,442 --> 00:19:37,944 to redeem the honor of the household. 494 00:19:37,944 --> 00:19:40,646 That's the style. So...what can you do? 495 00:19:40,646 --> 00:19:41,945 I started in the still room 496 00:19:41,947 --> 00:19:43,082 at Dunster Castle. 497 00:19:43,082 --> 00:19:44,548 WILSON: I have, in my time, waited table 498 00:19:44,550 --> 00:19:45,217 in the officers mess. 499 00:19:45,217 --> 00:19:47,653 JENNETT: Trouble is, we'll have to go when they're dressing for dinner, 500 00:19:47,653 --> 00:19:49,219 just when you need us most. 501 00:19:49,221 --> 00:19:50,421 WILSON: Can't be in 2 places at once. 502 00:19:50,423 --> 00:19:51,324 You'll just have to get back down here 503 00:19:51,324 --> 00:19:52,890 as quick as you can, won't you? 504 00:19:52,892 --> 00:19:55,393 We've got resident butler, thank God. I'm Chef de Cuisine. 505 00:19:55,395 --> 00:19:57,395 Proper cook in Mrs. Cochrane. 506 00:19:57,397 --> 00:19:59,963 And Kath reckons she can cope as kitchen maid, and I agree. 507 00:19:59,965 --> 00:20:02,466 So I'm afraid it's the scullery for you. 508 00:20:02,468 --> 00:20:04,468 Oh, that's a bit of a comedown, isn't it? 509 00:20:04,470 --> 00:20:06,470 She does know her way around the kitchen better than you. 510 00:20:06,472 --> 00:20:08,071 Oh, well, I suppose I did volunteer. 511 00:20:08,073 --> 00:20:10,107 And you'll have to cope as best you can as footman. 512 00:20:10,109 --> 00:20:11,108 Ma'am. 513 00:20:11,110 --> 00:20:12,976 It all seems to be falling into place. 514 00:20:12,978 --> 00:20:14,478 MRS. TROTTER: You, too, Major. 515 00:20:14,480 --> 00:20:15,979 You're acting unpaid dogsbody. 516 00:20:15,981 --> 00:20:18,482 You can start by dealing with the wines. 517 00:20:18,484 --> 00:20:19,983 The rest of you can see what you can do 518 00:20:19,985 --> 00:20:21,485 to clean this place up. 519 00:20:21,487 --> 00:20:22,986 We'll have a look at the dining room, 520 00:20:22,988 --> 00:20:24,988 Mr. Sterling, if that's all right by you. 521 00:20:24,990 --> 00:20:27,425 STERLING: All right, Mrs. Trotter. 522 00:20:44,911 --> 00:20:47,010 So, it's 10 for dinner, right? 523 00:20:47,012 --> 00:20:49,012 So I'm given to understand. 524 00:20:49,014 --> 00:20:51,014 What's been done about flowers? 525 00:20:51,016 --> 00:20:53,517 Her ladyship hasn't ordered any that I know of. 526 00:20:53,519 --> 00:20:56,019 She'll hardly have time to do them herself. 527 00:20:56,021 --> 00:20:58,021 I better see what I can find in the garden 528 00:20:58,023 --> 00:20:59,523 when we're done here. 529 00:20:59,525 --> 00:21:01,459 Yes. Well, here are the epergnes. 530 00:21:01,461 --> 00:21:03,461 How are you for glasses? 531 00:21:03,463 --> 00:21:05,463 Oh, ample sufficiency for that number. 532 00:21:05,465 --> 00:21:07,465 Cutlery? Linen? Serviettes? 533 00:21:07,467 --> 00:21:09,400 What we've got in here... 534 00:21:15,975 --> 00:21:19,477 Her ladyship did leave a plan for the placement. 535 00:21:19,479 --> 00:21:20,978 Yeah, well, that's something 536 00:21:20,980 --> 00:21:22,747 to be thankful for. 537 00:21:26,986 --> 00:21:28,986 Oh, Kath. 538 00:21:28,988 --> 00:21:30,421 Thank you. 539 00:21:32,492 --> 00:21:33,924 Whew! 540 00:21:41,501 --> 00:21:42,933 [sighs] 541 00:21:49,776 --> 00:21:51,509 Quite like old times. 542 00:21:51,511 --> 00:21:52,676 Right? 543 00:21:52,678 --> 00:21:54,177 If it moves, salute it. 544 00:21:54,179 --> 00:21:56,013 If it doesn't move, polish it. 545 00:21:56,015 --> 00:21:57,515 Right, off you go. 546 00:21:57,517 --> 00:21:59,016 Yes, sir. 547 00:22:00,386 --> 00:22:01,220 MAJOR: By jove! 548 00:22:01,320 --> 00:22:02,453 That's a handsome fish. 549 00:22:02,455 --> 00:22:03,954 Oh, yeah. 550 00:22:03,956 --> 00:22:05,456 You've done a lovely job boning and stuffing it. 551 00:22:05,458 --> 00:22:06,891 Thank you, ma'am. 552 00:22:08,127 --> 00:22:10,127 Asparagus. Right. 553 00:22:10,129 --> 00:22:11,962 Strawberries. 554 00:22:11,964 --> 00:22:13,798 Soufflé dish. 555 00:22:13,800 --> 00:22:15,966 Got your eggs separated, have you? Good. 556 00:22:15,968 --> 00:22:17,968 You keeping your head above water, Miss Jennett? 557 00:22:17,970 --> 00:22:19,470 Oh, just about. 558 00:22:19,472 --> 00:22:21,472 It'll be worse before it gets better. 559 00:22:21,474 --> 00:22:22,807 Oh! Thanks. 560 00:22:22,809 --> 00:22:24,975 I think we're winning. Thank you, one and all. 561 00:22:24,977 --> 00:22:26,977 Time for a nice glass of wine 562 00:22:26,979 --> 00:22:28,479 before they get back from the races. 563 00:22:28,481 --> 00:22:29,914 Mr. Sterling? 564 00:22:31,050 --> 00:22:32,418 MRS. TROTTER: Oh! How did you know? 565 00:22:32,418 --> 00:22:34,120 The major gave me the hint. 566 00:22:34,120 --> 00:22:36,155 Oh, he's sound on anything that hasn't got 4 legs. 567 00:22:36,789 --> 00:22:38,989 Right. Step up. Take your glasses. 568 00:22:38,991 --> 00:22:40,157 Lovely. 569 00:22:40,159 --> 00:22:41,492 Here you are. 570 00:22:41,494 --> 00:22:42,660 Thank you. 571 00:22:42,662 --> 00:22:43,994 Thank you. 572 00:22:44,597 --> 00:22:45,496 Don't you want one? 573 00:22:45,498 --> 00:22:46,997 She's too young for Champagne. 574 00:22:46,999 --> 00:22:48,499 If she's old enough to work, 575 00:22:48,501 --> 00:22:49,502 she's old enough to drink like us. 576 00:22:49,502 --> 00:22:50,536 - Right? - Right. 577 00:22:50,536 --> 00:22:51,637 There you are. 578 00:22:51,670 --> 00:22:54,004 Don't be so mean. 579 00:22:55,074 --> 00:22:56,306 Here. Cheerio. 580 00:22:56,308 --> 00:22:57,675 Cheers. Cheers. 581 00:22:57,677 --> 00:22:59,009 [slurp] 582 00:22:59,011 --> 00:23:00,010 Mmm! 583 00:23:00,012 --> 00:23:02,145 The bubbles gone all up my nose! 584 00:23:02,147 --> 00:23:03,447 What did I say? 585 00:23:03,449 --> 00:23:04,782 Waste of good Champagne. 586 00:23:04,784 --> 00:23:05,351 Oh, I don't know. 587 00:23:05,351 --> 00:23:06,452 The girl's got to start sometime. 588 00:23:06,452 --> 00:23:08,053 MRS. TROTTER: If at first you don't succeed... 589 00:23:09,956 --> 00:23:11,288 [hiccup] 590 00:23:11,290 --> 00:23:12,957 Oh, Kath. 591 00:23:12,959 --> 00:23:14,959 WOMAN: How do you think Lady Rothschild 592 00:23:14,961 --> 00:23:16,460 managed that hat? 593 00:23:16,462 --> 00:23:18,462 And in this wind? I quite thought 594 00:23:18,464 --> 00:23:19,964 I was going to lose mine. 595 00:23:19,966 --> 00:23:21,465 I scarcely noticed against hers. 596 00:23:21,467 --> 00:23:23,467 Personally, I found it rather vulgar. 597 00:23:23,469 --> 00:23:24,969 Oh, did you? 598 00:23:24,971 --> 00:23:26,470 I thought those feathers were tremendous fun. 599 00:23:26,472 --> 00:23:27,972 I must say I did, too. 600 00:23:27,974 --> 00:23:29,473 But the colors! 601 00:23:29,475 --> 00:23:30,975 I wonder if I might have a word 602 00:23:30,977 --> 00:23:32,476 with your ladyship privately. 603 00:23:32,478 --> 00:23:33,978 Not another disaster! 604 00:23:33,980 --> 00:23:35,980 It is a matter of some urgency, I fear. 605 00:23:35,982 --> 00:23:37,481 Let's go upstairs 606 00:23:37,483 --> 00:23:38,983 and get out of these things. 607 00:23:38,985 --> 00:23:40,985 I never believe in being too accessible 608 00:23:40,987 --> 00:23:42,486 to one's staff. 609 00:23:42,488 --> 00:23:43,988 Give them distance. 610 00:23:43,990 --> 00:23:45,489 As soon as you've seen the gentlemen in, 611 00:23:45,491 --> 00:23:46,991 I'll be in the drawing room. 612 00:23:46,993 --> 00:23:48,926 My lady. 613 00:23:56,702 --> 00:23:58,201 A good day, I trust, Sir John? 614 00:23:58,203 --> 00:23:59,703 Good enough, thank you, Sterling. 615 00:23:59,705 --> 00:24:01,972 Somewhat lacking in Vital Spark. 616 00:24:01,974 --> 00:24:03,306 For pity's sake, Ross. 617 00:24:03,308 --> 00:24:04,642 If you can't afford to lose a few pounds on a horse 618 00:24:04,644 --> 00:24:05,976 without grumbling about it all the time, 619 00:24:05,978 --> 00:24:07,310 don't go racing. 620 00:24:07,312 --> 00:24:08,646 Whether I can afford it or not 621 00:24:08,648 --> 00:24:09,415 is neither here nor there. 622 00:24:09,415 --> 00:24:10,216 Let's have a drink. 623 00:24:10,216 --> 00:24:12,151 Thanks, but I want my bath! 624 00:24:12,919 --> 00:24:15,054 And preferably in boiling oil. 625 00:24:15,054 --> 00:24:15,485 Steady on. 626 00:24:15,487 --> 00:24:16,987 It's all very well, Johnnie, 627 00:24:16,989 --> 00:24:18,488 but Phillida's godfather or not, 628 00:24:18,490 --> 00:24:20,490 if he makes one more insinuation about Desmond's horse, 629 00:24:20,492 --> 00:24:22,492 I'm warning you, there'll be trouble. 630 00:24:22,494 --> 00:24:23,395 Don't worry. 631 00:24:23,395 --> 00:24:24,897 I'll keep him off the subject. 632 00:24:25,097 --> 00:24:26,997 Did Mrs. Trotter arrive all right? 633 00:24:26,999 --> 00:24:27,766 Yes, Sir John. 634 00:24:27,766 --> 00:24:28,701 Oh, where is she? 635 00:24:28,701 --> 00:24:30,970 At the present time, she's in the dining room, my lord. 636 00:24:30,970 --> 00:24:31,971 Come on. 637 00:24:35,708 --> 00:24:36,974 Louisa! 638 00:24:36,976 --> 00:24:38,308 Charlie! 639 00:24:38,310 --> 00:24:39,476 Johnnie. 640 00:24:39,478 --> 00:24:41,478 Well, you've worked the oracle again. 641 00:24:41,480 --> 00:24:42,980 It looks truly wonderful. 642 00:24:42,982 --> 00:24:44,281 Oh, well. 643 00:24:44,283 --> 00:24:45,315 Pleased you're pleased. 644 00:24:45,317 --> 00:24:47,317 Wilson, what the devil are you doing here? 645 00:24:47,319 --> 00:24:48,819 I asked him to give me a hand. 646 00:24:48,821 --> 00:24:50,320 I've laid out your clothes, sir, 647 00:24:50,322 --> 00:24:51,822 and the other gentlemen's as well. 648 00:24:51,824 --> 00:24:53,323 Well, that's all very well. 649 00:24:53,325 --> 00:24:54,727 You can manage without him for a bit, 650 00:24:54,727 --> 00:24:56,061 and I can't, see? That's all... 651 00:24:56,295 --> 00:24:56,929 Oh. 652 00:24:56,929 --> 00:24:58,829 Sir. Permission to carry on, sir. 653 00:24:58,831 --> 00:25:00,330 Well, yes, I suppose so, 654 00:25:00,332 --> 00:25:01,567 though why it's necessary 655 00:25:01,567 --> 00:25:02,835 when we have a perfectly good footman... 656 00:25:02,835 --> 00:25:03,969 that's all you know. 657 00:25:03,969 --> 00:25:06,303 Louisa has her own way of doing things. 658 00:25:06,305 --> 00:25:07,304 Evidently. 659 00:25:07,306 --> 00:25:08,472 Learned in the school 660 00:25:08,474 --> 00:25:09,640 of hard knocks. 661 00:25:09,642 --> 00:25:10,975 Oh, Louisa! 662 00:25:10,977 --> 00:25:12,476 Keep your hands off the grapes, 663 00:25:12,478 --> 00:25:13,811 Charlie Haslemere. 664 00:25:13,813 --> 00:25:15,881 You know I can't abide to have me fruit picked over. 665 00:25:15,881 --> 00:25:17,681 The port seems to have stood the journey rather well. 666 00:25:17,683 --> 00:25:18,849 Hello, Charlie. 667 00:25:18,851 --> 00:25:19,718 Good lord, Major. 668 00:25:19,718 --> 00:25:21,020 Don't tell me she roped you in, as well. 669 00:25:21,020 --> 00:25:22,686 Always like to lend a hand, you know. 670 00:25:22,688 --> 00:25:24,187 Oh, do you know Johnnie Farjeon? 671 00:25:24,189 --> 00:25:25,689 Major Smith-Barton. 672 00:25:25,691 --> 00:25:27,691 I don't believe I've had the pleasure. 673 00:25:27,693 --> 00:25:29,192 How do you do, sir? 674 00:25:29,194 --> 00:25:30,360 Oh, pretty well, pretty well. 675 00:25:30,362 --> 00:25:31,528 Will you have a drink? 676 00:25:31,530 --> 00:25:34,031 Oh...not while I'm working, thank you. 677 00:25:34,033 --> 00:25:35,532 Then perhaps you will join us in a glass 678 00:25:35,534 --> 00:25:36,867 after dinner. 679 00:25:36,869 --> 00:25:37,968 After dinner, he'll be helping me 680 00:25:37,970 --> 00:25:39,572 to pack up and get back to the hotel. 681 00:25:39,572 --> 00:25:41,173 Louisa, you're a slave driver! 682 00:25:41,173 --> 00:25:42,307 PHILLIDA: Johnnie! Johnnie! 683 00:25:42,374 --> 00:25:44,141 Excuse me. Coming. 684 00:25:44,143 --> 00:25:45,475 Oh, there you are. 685 00:25:45,477 --> 00:25:47,477 I want you to meet Mrs. Trotter. 686 00:25:47,479 --> 00:25:49,479 Yes, I think it's high time I did, 687 00:25:49,481 --> 00:25:51,448 judging by what Sterling's just told me! 688 00:25:51,450 --> 00:25:53,984 CHARLIE: You'd better have that drink after all, Major. 689 00:25:53,986 --> 00:25:55,318 Perhaps I will. 690 00:25:55,320 --> 00:25:57,320 JOHNNIE: Jolly good. Come along, then. 691 00:25:57,322 --> 00:25:59,322 And you can fall out, as well. 692 00:25:59,324 --> 00:26:00,423 Ma'am. 693 00:26:05,364 --> 00:26:06,465 Mrs. Trotter, 694 00:26:06,465 --> 00:26:08,431 have you quite taken leave of your senses? 695 00:26:08,433 --> 00:26:09,967 Oh, I hope not. 696 00:26:09,969 --> 00:26:11,969 I understood that you were to come down here 697 00:26:11,971 --> 00:26:12,938 to provide dinner tonight. 698 00:26:12,938 --> 00:26:13,739 That's right. 699 00:26:13,739 --> 00:26:16,175 According to my husband, it was a special favor. 700 00:26:16,175 --> 00:26:17,109 Right again. 701 00:26:17,109 --> 00:26:19,211 Well, no doubt you mean well. 702 00:26:20,146 --> 00:26:22,514 If you knew how I was looking forward to it! 703 00:26:22,881 --> 00:26:23,847 But I come back here and find 704 00:26:23,849 --> 00:26:25,849 you haven't been in the house 5 minutes 705 00:26:25,851 --> 00:26:27,851 before half the staff have simply walked out. 706 00:26:27,853 --> 00:26:29,953 You were better off without them. 707 00:26:29,955 --> 00:26:31,955 Well, I suppose we're better off with my maid 708 00:26:31,957 --> 00:26:33,957 and my husband's soldier servant working for you 709 00:26:33,959 --> 00:26:36,193 instead of doing the jobs they're supposed to do. 710 00:26:36,195 --> 00:26:38,162 As a matter of fact, you are just now. 711 00:26:38,164 --> 00:26:39,663 I know just how you feel, 712 00:26:39,665 --> 00:26:41,165 but if I'd had that bunch of weary willies 713 00:26:41,167 --> 00:26:42,399 under me feet, we'd never have got dinner. 714 00:26:42,401 --> 00:26:43,901 Weren't worth the time of day. 715 00:26:43,903 --> 00:26:45,402 Robbing you blind, I shouldn't wonder. 716 00:26:45,404 --> 00:26:48,739 You don't seem to realize, we have a houseful of guests. 717 00:26:48,741 --> 00:26:49,973 Well, you finish tomorrow, don't you? 718 00:26:49,975 --> 00:26:52,209 Somebody has to give them breakfast. 719 00:26:52,211 --> 00:26:53,711 Oh, if that's all you're worried about, 720 00:26:53,713 --> 00:26:55,212 I'll see to that. 721 00:26:55,214 --> 00:26:56,714 I'll leave it all so Kath and Sterling 722 00:26:56,716 --> 00:26:58,515 have only to warm it up and serve it. 723 00:26:58,517 --> 00:26:59,717 Can you really? 724 00:26:59,719 --> 00:27:01,151 Of course I can. Won't take me 2 ticks. 725 00:27:01,153 --> 00:27:02,652 Now, in fact, I'll have it all done 726 00:27:02,654 --> 00:27:04,154 by the time dinner's washed up. 727 00:27:04,156 --> 00:27:06,389 Well, in that case... 728 00:27:10,462 --> 00:27:12,963 How do you like me flowers? 729 00:27:12,965 --> 00:27:14,464 They're lovely! 730 00:27:14,466 --> 00:27:15,966 Yeah, well, 731 00:27:15,968 --> 00:27:18,468 I like to do me own flowers. 732 00:27:18,470 --> 00:27:20,971 You've seen a menu, have you? 733 00:27:20,973 --> 00:27:21,972 No. 734 00:27:21,974 --> 00:27:23,140 Here you are, then. 735 00:27:23,142 --> 00:27:24,808 It's a bit late to change it, 736 00:27:24,810 --> 00:27:26,309 but we'll try if you fancy anything 737 00:27:26,311 --> 00:27:27,577 in particular. 738 00:27:27,579 --> 00:27:29,079 Oh. 739 00:27:29,081 --> 00:27:31,414 I don't see how it could be bettered. 740 00:27:31,416 --> 00:27:33,416 Oh. Well, that is nice. 741 00:27:33,418 --> 00:27:35,418 Well, we knew you'd had a spot of bother 742 00:27:35,420 --> 00:27:37,420 one way and another, so we wanted 743 00:27:37,422 --> 00:27:39,422 to do you something special. 744 00:27:39,424 --> 00:27:40,924 Ain't been married long, have you? 745 00:27:40,926 --> 00:27:42,059 No. 746 00:27:42,061 --> 00:27:44,061 He's a lovely fellow you got there. 747 00:27:44,063 --> 00:27:45,028 I think so. 748 00:27:45,030 --> 00:27:46,997 And he ain't done so badly himself, 749 00:27:46,999 --> 00:27:48,498 as long as he don't get 750 00:27:48,500 --> 00:27:50,000 the sharp edge of your tongue too often. 751 00:27:50,002 --> 00:27:51,168 Oh! 752 00:27:51,170 --> 00:27:53,570 You really are an amazing woman, Mrs. Trotter. 753 00:27:53,572 --> 00:27:55,072 Just so's you have an amazing evening, 754 00:27:55,074 --> 00:27:56,240 Lady Farjeon. 755 00:27:56,242 --> 00:27:57,741 I think we shall. 756 00:27:57,743 --> 00:27:59,743 I really think we shall. 757 00:27:59,745 --> 00:28:02,112 Well, that's all right, then. 758 00:28:05,551 --> 00:28:06,997 Peace reigns in the dining room, 759 00:28:06,997 --> 00:28:07,920 you'll be pleased to hear. 760 00:28:07,953 --> 00:28:09,853 I'd better get back and decant the claret. 761 00:28:09,855 --> 00:28:10,956 Oh, there's bags of time. 762 00:28:10,956 --> 00:28:12,391 The second gong hasn't even gone yet. 763 00:28:12,391 --> 00:28:13,225 Have another drink. 764 00:28:13,592 --> 00:28:14,560 Oh, thank you. 765 00:28:15,227 --> 00:28:16,393 The major was asking who won the Hardwicke. 766 00:28:16,395 --> 00:28:17,560 I couldn't remember. 767 00:28:17,562 --> 00:28:18,728 Oh, Bembo. 768 00:28:18,730 --> 00:28:19,398 MAJOR: Oh, good! 769 00:28:19,464 --> 00:28:20,800 Waltzed it, 7-1. 770 00:28:20,800 --> 00:28:21,767 Very good. 771 00:28:21,767 --> 00:28:22,601 Did you back him? 772 00:28:22,601 --> 00:28:23,802 In a modest way. 773 00:28:24,236 --> 00:28:25,637 Either of you two do any good? 774 00:28:25,637 --> 00:28:26,705 Oh, so-so. 775 00:28:26,705 --> 00:28:27,806 I broke even, I suppose. 776 00:28:27,806 --> 00:28:28,686 I'd have done a lot better 777 00:28:28,686 --> 00:28:30,976 if there hadn't been such an upset in the Alexandra Plate. 778 00:28:31,143 --> 00:28:32,578 - Oh? - Vital Spark. 779 00:28:32,578 --> 00:28:34,111 Desmond Elleston's horse? 780 00:28:34,113 --> 00:28:35,279 Joint favorite. Well-fancied. 781 00:28:35,281 --> 00:28:37,583 I nearly made him the second leg of a double. 782 00:28:37,583 --> 00:28:38,550 Well, count your blessings. 783 00:28:39,018 --> 00:28:39,851 What happened? 784 00:28:39,851 --> 00:28:41,553 Simply faded in the last furlong. 785 00:28:41,553 --> 00:28:43,520 That's surprising. Oh, thank you. 786 00:28:43,522 --> 00:28:45,689 On form, he should have stayed the distance easy. 787 00:28:45,691 --> 00:28:47,024 I don't understand it. 788 00:28:47,026 --> 00:28:48,525 Nor did Phillida's godfather. 789 00:28:48,527 --> 00:28:50,027 He keeps hinting 790 00:28:50,029 --> 00:28:51,195 there was something funny about it. 791 00:28:51,197 --> 00:28:52,362 Mind you, he lost a packet. 792 00:28:52,364 --> 00:28:53,530 Well, he's rich as Croesus. 793 00:28:53,532 --> 00:28:55,532 Doesn't mean to say he likes to lose it. 794 00:28:55,534 --> 00:28:56,435 That's how he stays rich. 795 00:28:56,435 --> 00:28:58,604 True. Ha ha! Very. 796 00:28:58,838 --> 00:29:01,338 You better keep him off it because... 797 00:29:01,340 --> 00:29:02,472 You've made your point. 798 00:29:05,311 --> 00:29:08,411 [bong bong bong bong] 799 00:29:09,982 --> 00:29:11,348 [bong] 800 00:29:11,350 --> 00:29:12,916 [bong] 801 00:29:15,988 --> 00:29:17,487 Oh, ma'am! 802 00:29:17,489 --> 00:29:18,989 Yeah? What's your problem? 803 00:29:18,991 --> 00:29:20,490 It's Mrs. Cochrane! 804 00:29:20,492 --> 00:29:21,992 What's wrong with her? 805 00:29:21,994 --> 00:29:24,427 She says come quick. Please, ma'am. 806 00:29:33,739 --> 00:29:34,738 What's wrong? 807 00:29:34,740 --> 00:29:36,240 The gelatine won't set, ma'am. 808 00:29:36,242 --> 00:29:37,741 It's too warm. Of course it is. 809 00:29:37,743 --> 00:29:38,909 Flaming June, isn't it? 810 00:29:38,911 --> 00:29:39,910 Where's your ice? 811 00:29:39,912 --> 00:29:40,911 There's no ice. 812 00:29:40,913 --> 00:29:41,912 What do you mean, there's no ice? 813 00:29:41,914 --> 00:29:42,913 Regrettably, the iceman failed 814 00:29:42,915 --> 00:29:43,914 to deliver this afternoon. 815 00:29:43,916 --> 00:29:45,082 Ain't you got a refrigerator? 816 00:29:45,084 --> 00:29:46,250 Not as such. 817 00:29:46,252 --> 00:29:47,484 Oh, God, what a dump! 818 00:29:47,486 --> 00:29:48,618 What am I to do? 819 00:29:48,620 --> 00:29:50,520 I'm bound to say it's the first time 820 00:29:50,522 --> 00:29:52,022 I've ever known him let us down. 821 00:29:52,024 --> 00:29:54,024 Do you mean he came yesterday? 822 00:29:54,026 --> 00:29:55,025 Oh, yes, indeed. 823 00:29:55,027 --> 00:29:56,493 Then where's your icebox? 824 00:29:56,495 --> 00:29:57,660 Through here. 825 00:29:57,662 --> 00:29:58,929 God's truth! 826 00:30:03,035 --> 00:30:05,035 How much ice do you want? 827 00:30:05,037 --> 00:30:07,037 It's pretty near full the lining. 828 00:30:07,039 --> 00:30:09,039 I never thought of that. 829 00:30:09,041 --> 00:30:11,041 God give me strength. 830 00:30:11,043 --> 00:30:12,976 Here, give me your cloth. 831 00:30:14,546 --> 00:30:16,479 Yeah. 832 00:30:18,050 --> 00:30:20,317 Here you go. 833 00:30:21,887 --> 00:30:24,054 Where's your rolling pin? 834 00:30:24,056 --> 00:30:25,155 All right. 835 00:30:27,059 --> 00:30:29,059 There you are. 836 00:30:29,061 --> 00:30:32,562 Now you stir your gelatine over that, 837 00:30:32,564 --> 00:30:35,565 and you don't let it get too solid. 838 00:30:35,567 --> 00:30:37,334 No, Mrs. Trotter, I won't. 839 00:31:01,526 --> 00:31:03,460 [dishes rattling] 840 00:31:14,573 --> 00:31:16,039 [sighs] 841 00:31:16,041 --> 00:31:18,475 Put that somewhere safe, will you? 842 00:31:30,555 --> 00:31:32,555 Oh, yeah. There's something, like. 843 00:31:32,557 --> 00:31:34,557 It's a proper picture, isn't it? 844 00:31:34,559 --> 00:31:36,559 Yeah. In fact, that's what it's all about. 845 00:31:36,561 --> 00:31:38,228 First job I ever had, 846 00:31:38,230 --> 00:31:40,563 know what the chef there said to me? 847 00:31:40,565 --> 00:31:42,065 He said... 848 00:31:42,067 --> 00:31:43,566 [with French accent] "After the smell, 849 00:31:43,568 --> 00:31:46,403 the taste, the tongue, and then the eyes." 850 00:31:46,405 --> 00:31:47,904 I never forgot that. 851 00:31:47,906 --> 00:31:49,873 You want to be a cook, do you? 852 00:31:49,875 --> 00:31:52,075 You have to really want to, you know. 853 00:31:52,077 --> 00:31:53,576 I do. I want it more than anything else 854 00:31:53,578 --> 00:31:54,878 in the whole world. 855 00:31:54,880 --> 00:31:57,114 Do you want to be the best cook in England? 856 00:31:57,116 --> 00:31:59,116 Yeah, well, wanting's half of it, 857 00:31:59,118 --> 00:32:01,018 and working at it's the other. 858 00:32:01,020 --> 00:32:03,420 Eyes on the stars, feet on the ground. 859 00:32:03,422 --> 00:32:05,522 Get back to work, then. 860 00:32:05,524 --> 00:32:07,457 Yes, ma'am. Thank you, ma'am. 861 00:32:10,029 --> 00:32:12,029 God! Fair took me breath away. 862 00:32:12,031 --> 00:32:14,031 It was like talking to meself 863 00:32:14,033 --> 00:32:15,532 for a minute back there. 864 00:32:15,534 --> 00:32:17,034 [bell ringing] 865 00:32:17,036 --> 00:32:19,536 That will be the first of the dinner guests. 866 00:32:19,538 --> 00:32:21,471 Yeah, well, we're ready when you are. 867 00:32:23,075 --> 00:32:24,574 If I don't get an apology... 868 00:32:24,576 --> 00:32:25,575 you won't! 869 00:32:25,577 --> 00:32:26,743 You haven't a shred of evidence 870 00:32:26,745 --> 00:32:27,744 for what you're saying! 871 00:32:27,746 --> 00:32:28,778 I have it on the best authority! 872 00:32:28,780 --> 00:32:30,547 Make some excuse, that's all. 873 00:32:30,549 --> 00:32:31,881 How long will you be? 874 00:32:31,883 --> 00:32:33,050 God knows. 875 00:32:33,052 --> 00:32:34,217 But, Johnnie, if you aren't there 876 00:32:34,219 --> 00:32:35,385 to greet the other guests, 877 00:32:35,387 --> 00:32:36,553 they'll think it extremely odd. 878 00:32:36,555 --> 00:32:37,720 It's nothing to what they'll think 879 00:32:37,722 --> 00:32:39,556 if I can't calm these two down. 880 00:32:39,558 --> 00:32:41,058 Please keep your voices down! 881 00:32:41,060 --> 00:32:42,559 Show in the other guests. 882 00:32:42,561 --> 00:32:44,061 Then ask Mrs. Trotter to put back dinner 883 00:32:44,063 --> 00:32:45,062 by half an hour. 884 00:32:45,064 --> 00:32:46,563 Very good, my lady. 885 00:32:46,565 --> 00:32:48,498 [argument continues] 886 00:32:50,069 --> 00:32:51,568 MAN: Ah, there you are! 887 00:32:51,570 --> 00:32:53,070 We were beginning to get worried 888 00:32:53,072 --> 00:32:54,571 we'd come on the wrong night. 889 00:32:54,573 --> 00:32:56,073 STERLING: Not at all, sir. 890 00:32:56,075 --> 00:32:58,075 Well, that's a relief, what? 891 00:32:58,077 --> 00:33:00,077 [argument continues] 892 00:33:00,079 --> 00:33:01,511 Warm tonight. 893 00:33:01,513 --> 00:33:03,012 A trifle, sir. 894 00:33:03,014 --> 00:33:04,681 Thunder in the air. 895 00:33:04,683 --> 00:33:07,250 Rain later, I shouldn't wonder. 896 00:33:07,252 --> 00:33:08,952 [brisk stirring] 897 00:33:10,522 --> 00:33:12,689 You can get the water on for the asparagus. 898 00:33:12,691 --> 00:33:13,957 Yes, ma'am. 899 00:33:20,532 --> 00:33:22,466 There we are. 900 00:33:26,538 --> 00:33:28,037 All right. 901 00:33:28,039 --> 00:33:30,039 Soufflé into the oven, Mrs. C. 902 00:33:30,041 --> 00:33:31,040 Right. 903 00:33:31,042 --> 00:33:33,477 Open that door for me, will you? 904 00:33:37,048 --> 00:33:38,915 Thank you. 905 00:33:38,917 --> 00:33:40,550 Let's have a look at you, Wilson. 906 00:33:40,552 --> 00:33:42,051 Yeah, you'll do. 907 00:33:42,053 --> 00:33:43,052 Get your gloves on. 908 00:33:43,054 --> 00:33:44,053 Get along to the dining room. 909 00:33:44,055 --> 00:33:46,055 I'll get the consommé into the tureen 910 00:33:46,057 --> 00:33:47,557 soon as they announce dinner. 911 00:33:47,559 --> 00:33:48,858 I'll bring it along to you. 912 00:33:48,860 --> 00:33:49,892 Sir. 913 00:33:49,894 --> 00:33:52,562 Her ladyship's compliments, Mrs. Trotter, 914 00:33:52,564 --> 00:33:56,499 and will you put dinner back half an hour? 915 00:33:56,501 --> 00:33:58,067 Oh, my God. The soufflé. 916 00:33:58,069 --> 00:33:59,436 I'll get it out. 917 00:33:59,438 --> 00:34:00,470 Don't you dare! 918 00:34:00,472 --> 00:34:02,171 You touch that oven door, you'll ruin it! 919 00:34:02,173 --> 00:34:03,506 Can't be done. 920 00:34:03,508 --> 00:34:05,174 STERLING: I'm only passing on orders. 921 00:34:05,176 --> 00:34:06,375 But why? 922 00:34:06,377 --> 00:34:08,511 Mr. Ross and his lordship are having an argument. 923 00:34:08,513 --> 00:34:09,512 What about? 924 00:34:09,514 --> 00:34:11,714 All I can say is that it's heated 925 00:34:11,716 --> 00:34:13,483 and serious enough to stop Sir John 926 00:34:13,485 --> 00:34:15,685 from greeting his other guests. 927 00:34:15,687 --> 00:34:17,019 Where are they? 928 00:34:17,021 --> 00:34:18,521 In the smoking room. 929 00:34:18,523 --> 00:34:20,523 Right. Don't you touch that soufflé. 930 00:34:20,525 --> 00:34:22,024 And you separate some more eggs 931 00:34:22,026 --> 00:34:23,526 in case we need to make another. 932 00:34:23,528 --> 00:34:24,527 Check the dining room. 933 00:34:24,529 --> 00:34:27,029 I'll be back before you know I've gone. 934 00:34:27,031 --> 00:34:29,899 What can she do? 935 00:34:29,901 --> 00:34:33,703 Murder, if her dinner's spoiled. 936 00:34:33,705 --> 00:34:35,204 You repeat that to another living soul, 937 00:34:35,206 --> 00:34:37,039 and I'll take you through the courts! 938 00:34:37,041 --> 00:34:38,541 Can you afford to? 939 00:34:38,543 --> 00:34:40,042 Not only that, but if it's published, 940 00:34:40,044 --> 00:34:41,544 I'll take your rotten scandal sheet 941 00:34:41,546 --> 00:34:43,045 and shove it down your throat! 942 00:34:43,047 --> 00:34:44,046 What? No horsewhips? 943 00:34:44,048 --> 00:34:45,715 Damn you! For God's sake. 944 00:34:45,717 --> 00:34:46,716 ROSS: Thank you, but I'm perfectly capable 945 00:34:46,718 --> 00:34:47,717 of taking care of myself. 946 00:34:47,719 --> 00:34:49,218 Doesn't sound to me as if either of you 947 00:34:49,220 --> 00:34:50,720 is capable of anything, 948 00:34:50,722 --> 00:34:52,154 least of all a bit of common sense. 949 00:34:52,156 --> 00:34:53,322 Louisa, just keep out of this. 950 00:34:53,324 --> 00:34:54,323 It's none of your business. 951 00:34:54,325 --> 00:34:55,324 Stupid slanging match. 952 00:34:55,326 --> 00:34:56,325 Can't you hear yourselves? 953 00:34:56,327 --> 00:34:58,060 May I ask who you are, madam?! 954 00:34:58,062 --> 00:35:01,297 This is Mrs. Trotter of the Bentinck Hotel. 955 00:35:01,299 --> 00:35:04,000 Considerable personality and a distinctive hostelry, 956 00:35:04,002 --> 00:35:05,502 or so I'm told. 957 00:35:05,504 --> 00:35:08,270 In other circumstances, I'd be pleased to meet you, 958 00:35:08,272 --> 00:35:10,507 but I fail to understand how our differences 959 00:35:10,509 --> 00:35:12,509 could possibly concern you or your hotel. 960 00:35:12,511 --> 00:35:14,410 I'm here to do the dinner. 961 00:35:14,412 --> 00:35:15,912 I promise not to interfere. 962 00:35:15,914 --> 00:35:17,413 You have. Any minute now it's going to spoil, 963 00:35:17,415 --> 00:35:19,916 and having put meself out, 964 00:35:19,918 --> 00:35:21,083 I don't intend that that should happen... 965 00:35:21,085 --> 00:35:22,251 not on account of a couple of men 966 00:35:22,253 --> 00:35:23,319 shouting the odds! 967 00:35:23,321 --> 00:35:26,756 I really must go and greet our other guests. 968 00:35:26,758 --> 00:35:27,924 Now, come on. You're grown up. 969 00:35:27,926 --> 00:35:29,926 Behave like it. 970 00:35:29,928 --> 00:35:31,427 What's it all about, anyway? 971 00:35:31,429 --> 00:35:33,930 Mr. Ross has accused a friend of mine, 972 00:35:33,932 --> 00:35:35,431 Desmond Elleston, of cheating, Louisa. 973 00:35:35,433 --> 00:35:36,933 He says he had it 974 00:35:36,935 --> 00:35:38,334 from a racing journalist who knows. 975 00:35:38,336 --> 00:35:39,569 Oh, crikey. Newspapers again. 976 00:35:39,571 --> 00:35:42,038 I happen to have one among my interests... 977 00:35:42,040 --> 00:35:44,007 not that it's any business of yours. 978 00:35:44,009 --> 00:35:45,508 Don't talk to me about newspapers. 979 00:35:45,510 --> 00:35:47,010 If they can't find muck to print, 980 00:35:47,012 --> 00:35:48,011 they have to invent it. 981 00:35:48,013 --> 00:35:49,979 We print what people ought to know. 982 00:35:49,981 --> 00:35:51,915 Ought? You're not God, are you? 983 00:35:51,917 --> 00:35:53,115 Is this really helpful? 984 00:35:53,117 --> 00:35:54,283 What did this scribbler friend 985 00:35:54,285 --> 00:35:55,618 of yours say, anyway? 986 00:35:55,620 --> 00:35:57,620 That Desmond Elleston gave orders that his horse 987 00:35:57,622 --> 00:35:59,622 shouldn't win the Alexandra Plate this afternoon. 988 00:35:59,624 --> 00:36:00,723 MRS. TROTTER: Wasn't that the big race? 989 00:36:00,725 --> 00:36:01,891 Worth 1,500 pounds. 990 00:36:01,893 --> 00:36:03,159 Why would he want to throw that away? 991 00:36:03,161 --> 00:36:05,161 To lengthen the odds on the next race 992 00:36:05,163 --> 00:36:07,931 he has Vital Spark entered for at Goodwood. 993 00:36:07,933 --> 00:36:09,933 It simply isn't true, Louisa. 994 00:36:09,935 --> 00:36:11,434 How can you be so sure? 995 00:36:11,436 --> 00:36:13,436 - It's unthinkable. - Why? 996 00:36:13,438 --> 00:36:14,938 Well, it's unthinkable! 997 00:36:14,940 --> 00:36:16,639 I mean, I've known him all my life! 998 00:36:16,641 --> 00:36:17,674 Really. 999 00:36:17,676 --> 00:36:20,009 Isn't this damn thing settled yet? 1000 00:36:20,011 --> 00:36:21,510 No, it's not. 1001 00:36:27,185 --> 00:36:29,518 Well, it's all going on up there. 1002 00:36:29,520 --> 00:36:30,687 What is? 1003 00:36:30,689 --> 00:36:33,355 A racing row, as far as I can make out, sir. 1004 00:36:33,357 --> 00:36:34,857 For someone that doesn't hold 1005 00:36:34,859 --> 00:36:36,358 with gossip, you spend a lot 1006 00:36:36,360 --> 00:36:38,196 of time with your ear at keyholes. 1007 00:36:38,697 --> 00:36:40,198 I thought you'd like to know. 1008 00:36:40,299 --> 00:36:42,865 Fruitful source of contention, racing. 1009 00:36:42,867 --> 00:36:44,366 All I know is, 1010 00:36:44,368 --> 00:36:45,534 if that soufflé's overcooked, 1011 00:36:45,536 --> 00:36:46,903 it'll be like leather. 1012 00:36:48,707 --> 00:36:49,772 Hmm. 1013 00:36:49,774 --> 00:36:51,474 Just because you lost a bet... 1014 00:36:51,476 --> 00:36:53,209 No, Charlie. You malign me! 1015 00:36:53,211 --> 00:36:55,211 We're not talking about someone 1016 00:36:55,213 --> 00:36:57,046 who diddled one of his rich friends at cards. 1017 00:36:57,048 --> 00:36:58,547 If I'm right, 1018 00:36:58,549 --> 00:37:00,216 Elleston's cheated a lot of hopefuls today 1019 00:37:00,218 --> 00:37:02,819 in order that he can cheat a lot more at Goodwood. 1020 00:37:02,821 --> 00:37:05,023 I think that's the sort of fraud that ought... 1021 00:37:05,023 --> 00:37:07,323 yes, ought, Mrs. Trotter...be exposed. 1022 00:37:07,325 --> 00:37:08,825 I didn't mean to upset your evening, 1023 00:37:08,827 --> 00:37:10,326 and I didn't realize 1024 00:37:10,328 --> 00:37:11,196 that Elleston was a friend of yours. 1025 00:37:11,196 --> 00:37:12,664 If he's done what I say he's done, 1026 00:37:12,664 --> 00:37:14,432 he doesn't deserve to be. 1027 00:37:15,500 --> 00:37:16,766 Charles. 1028 00:37:24,776 --> 00:37:26,342 [door closes] 1029 00:37:26,344 --> 00:37:28,513 You're not just out to cause trouble, are you? 1030 00:37:29,314 --> 00:37:30,780 No. 1031 00:37:30,782 --> 00:37:33,482 Charlie, if the king gets to hear about this, 1032 00:37:33,484 --> 00:37:35,484 there will be the very devil to pay. 1033 00:37:35,486 --> 00:37:37,486 Don't tell me. Tell your wife's godfather. 1034 00:37:37,488 --> 00:37:38,988 We've simply got to sort it out 1035 00:37:38,990 --> 00:37:39,989 among ourselves. 1036 00:37:39,991 --> 00:37:41,993 Please, Johnnie, I'm at my wits' end. 1037 00:37:41,993 --> 00:37:44,129 We must announce dinner. 1038 00:37:44,497 --> 00:37:45,995 Oh, all right. 1039 00:37:45,997 --> 00:37:48,430 Just one more moment, my dear. 1040 00:37:52,004 --> 00:37:53,836 Look here. If there's any way 1041 00:37:53,838 --> 00:37:56,238 we can settle this privately... 1042 00:37:56,240 --> 00:37:58,074 All roads lead to rome. 1043 00:37:58,076 --> 00:38:00,509 You're neither of you going to give in 1044 00:38:00,511 --> 00:38:02,278 till you know who's right. Right? 1045 00:38:02,280 --> 00:38:03,412 No. 1046 00:38:03,414 --> 00:38:04,547 No. 1047 00:38:04,549 --> 00:38:05,948 Then find out. 1048 00:38:05,950 --> 00:38:07,616 An unofficial inquiry? 1049 00:38:07,618 --> 00:38:09,118 Desmond would never agree. 1050 00:38:09,120 --> 00:38:10,619 Rather than have his name in the papers, 1051 00:38:10,621 --> 00:38:12,789 he'd be glad to. I know I would. 1052 00:38:12,791 --> 00:38:13,625 Is he down here? 1053 00:38:13,625 --> 00:38:15,059 He's staying with the Westmacotts. 1054 00:38:15,059 --> 00:38:16,461 I'll telephone. 1055 00:38:17,461 --> 00:38:20,064 We'll need an independent arbiter. 1056 00:38:20,666 --> 00:38:21,864 MRS. TROTTER: What about the major? 1057 00:38:21,866 --> 00:38:23,568 - Yes, of course. - The Major? 1058 00:38:23,735 --> 00:38:24,801 He's a pal of mine. 1059 00:38:24,803 --> 00:38:27,203 He's one-time steward of Calcutta races. 1060 00:38:27,205 --> 00:38:29,271 MRS. TROTTER: So what do you say? 1061 00:38:32,977 --> 00:38:35,377 Rotten end to a bad week. 1062 00:38:35,379 --> 00:38:36,879 What about that soufflé? 1063 00:38:36,881 --> 00:38:38,380 Much longer, 1064 00:38:38,382 --> 00:38:40,983 and the sturgeon's going to spoil, too. 1065 00:38:40,985 --> 00:38:42,484 Oh, dear! 1066 00:38:42,486 --> 00:38:44,286 STERLING: Never say die. 1067 00:38:44,288 --> 00:38:46,488 An admirable sentiment, Sterling, 1068 00:38:46,490 --> 00:38:49,058 but hardly helpful in the circumstances. 1069 00:38:50,995 --> 00:38:52,161 We're off! 1070 00:38:52,163 --> 00:38:53,896 Consommé, Mrs. C. 1071 00:38:53,898 --> 00:38:55,567 Right. Wilson, Sterling, get down to the dining room, 1072 00:38:55,567 --> 00:38:56,668 ready to serve. 1073 00:38:57,401 --> 00:38:58,901 You can take along the consommé, Major, 1074 00:38:58,903 --> 00:38:59,771 soon as it's ready. 1075 00:39:03,241 --> 00:39:04,273 What was it all about? 1076 00:39:04,275 --> 00:39:05,608 Racing row. 1077 00:39:05,610 --> 00:39:06,943 Which you solved? 1078 00:39:06,945 --> 00:39:08,746 No. I dropped you in it. 1079 00:39:08,780 --> 00:39:10,780 You're going to conduct an unofficial inquiry 1080 00:39:10,782 --> 00:39:12,150 soon as the owner gets over here. 1081 00:39:12,684 --> 00:39:14,185 In that case, I'd better eat now. 1082 00:39:14,185 --> 00:39:16,588 Uh-uh! You cut along with that consommé. 1083 00:39:16,655 --> 00:39:17,889 There you are. 1084 00:39:18,957 --> 00:39:20,123 Which horse? 1085 00:39:20,125 --> 00:39:22,458 Vital Spark in the Alexandra Plate. 1086 00:39:22,460 --> 00:39:24,460 MAJOR: I rather saw it coming. 1087 00:39:24,462 --> 00:39:25,962 Kath! Look what you're doing! 1088 00:39:25,964 --> 00:39:26,963 I'm sorry. 1089 00:39:26,965 --> 00:39:28,166 No time for daydreaming 1090 00:39:28,166 --> 00:39:29,534 if you want to be best cook in England. 1091 00:39:29,534 --> 00:39:30,702 No, ma'am. Sorry, ma'am. 1092 00:39:30,702 --> 00:39:32,504 Mrs. Cochrane, let's get that sturgeon out. 1093 00:39:32,504 --> 00:39:33,304 Right. 1094 00:39:46,418 --> 00:39:47,984 Oh! 1095 00:39:47,986 --> 00:39:49,585 Phillida, how very original 1096 00:39:49,587 --> 00:39:51,320 to serve unhulled strawberries. 1097 00:39:51,322 --> 00:39:52,922 Myself, I find it 1098 00:39:52,924 --> 00:39:53,990 a shade perverse. 1099 00:39:53,992 --> 00:39:55,825 Oh, but it's all the rage. 1100 00:39:55,827 --> 00:39:57,160 A l'anglaise? 1101 00:39:57,162 --> 00:39:58,360 I daresay. 1102 00:39:58,362 --> 00:40:00,362 With individual bowls 1103 00:40:00,364 --> 00:40:01,864 of cream and sugar, 1104 00:40:01,866 --> 00:40:03,666 - isn't that so? - Yes. 1105 00:40:03,668 --> 00:40:05,634 MAN: Invented by Samuel Smiles... 1106 00:40:05,636 --> 00:40:08,004 self-help, don't you know? 1107 00:40:08,006 --> 00:40:10,506 Why, Aubrey, what a wag you are! 1108 00:40:10,508 --> 00:40:12,041 Very droll. 1109 00:40:12,043 --> 00:40:13,943 AUBREY: One tries. 1110 00:40:20,518 --> 00:40:22,518 How's it going in there? 1111 00:40:22,520 --> 00:40:25,521 Reasonably jolly, I gather...for a morgue. 1112 00:40:25,523 --> 00:40:27,690 For a dinner party, less so. 1113 00:40:27,692 --> 00:40:30,026 Should I go and sort them out? 1114 00:40:30,028 --> 00:40:32,428 For once, I think perhaps not. 1115 00:40:33,698 --> 00:40:35,631 Well, perhaps you're right. 1116 00:40:37,535 --> 00:40:39,035 You see now 1117 00:40:39,037 --> 00:40:41,037 how the hulls come in handy, Mrs. Ross. 1118 00:40:41,039 --> 00:40:42,205 Yes, thank you. 1119 00:40:42,207 --> 00:40:43,706 I do grasp the idea. 1120 00:40:43,708 --> 00:40:45,374 Don't grasp the idea. 1121 00:40:45,376 --> 00:40:47,043 Grasp the hulls, what? 1122 00:40:47,045 --> 00:40:48,211 What? 1123 00:40:48,213 --> 00:40:49,545 Joke. 1124 00:40:49,547 --> 00:40:50,713 Oh. 1125 00:40:50,715 --> 00:40:52,081 Oh! 1126 00:40:52,083 --> 00:40:53,549 Ha ha ha! 1127 00:40:53,551 --> 00:40:55,551 AUBREY: Well, it wasn't that funny. 1128 00:40:55,553 --> 00:40:56,719 No. 1129 00:40:56,721 --> 00:40:57,820 No. 1130 00:40:57,822 --> 00:41:00,056 AUBREY: How was the racing? 1131 00:41:00,058 --> 00:41:01,490 Oh, I'm sorry? 1132 00:41:01,492 --> 00:41:02,992 Aubrey was asking 1133 00:41:02,994 --> 00:41:04,493 about today's racing. 1134 00:41:04,495 --> 00:41:05,862 How was it? 1135 00:41:05,864 --> 00:41:07,029 It was interesting. 1136 00:41:07,031 --> 00:41:08,164 Yes. 1137 00:41:08,166 --> 00:41:10,166 Mrs. Ross: I'd say interesting was the word. 1138 00:41:10,168 --> 00:41:11,300 AUBREY: Good. 1139 00:41:11,302 --> 00:41:12,902 [whispering] 1140 00:41:12,904 --> 00:41:14,904 WOMAN: At least the weather was lovely, 1141 00:41:14,906 --> 00:41:16,005 apart from the wind. 1142 00:41:16,007 --> 00:41:17,240 AUBREY: That's good. 1143 00:41:17,242 --> 00:41:19,308 And there were some amazing hats. 1144 00:41:19,310 --> 00:41:20,843 MRS. ROSS: Truly amazing. 1145 00:41:20,845 --> 00:41:22,711 Jolly good! 1146 00:41:22,713 --> 00:41:23,880 Excuse me, 1147 00:41:23,882 --> 00:41:25,181 but Charlie and Sidney Ross 1148 00:41:25,183 --> 00:41:27,016 are wanted on urgent business. 1149 00:41:27,018 --> 00:41:28,184 Extraordinary! 1150 00:41:28,186 --> 00:41:29,952 I'm sure we'll excuse them. 1151 00:41:29,954 --> 00:41:31,187 MRS. ROSS: Why, yes. 1152 00:41:31,189 --> 00:41:32,121 Of course. 1153 00:41:34,525 --> 00:41:37,193 JOHNNIE: Have you been following the Lemoine case? 1154 00:41:37,195 --> 00:41:38,527 PHILLIDA: In Paris? 1155 00:41:38,529 --> 00:41:40,029 AUBREY: Can't say I have. 1156 00:41:40,031 --> 00:41:41,230 WOMAN: Do tell. 1157 00:41:41,232 --> 00:41:42,231 Well, apparently 1158 00:41:42,233 --> 00:41:43,399 this fellow took 60,000 pounds 1159 00:41:43,401 --> 00:41:44,566 off some South African businessman 1160 00:41:44,568 --> 00:41:45,734 for a process for making diamonds 1161 00:41:45,736 --> 00:41:47,236 out of chemicals... 1162 00:41:47,238 --> 00:41:49,405 a feat which he performed naked. 1163 00:41:49,407 --> 00:41:50,706 PHILLIDA: On 2 occasions. 1164 00:41:50,708 --> 00:41:51,874 What a perfect scream! 1165 00:41:51,876 --> 00:41:53,042 Needless to say, 1166 00:41:53,044 --> 00:41:54,210 the formula didn't work 1167 00:41:54,212 --> 00:41:55,878 for anyone else, but by the time 1168 00:41:55,880 --> 00:41:56,381 that was discovered, 1169 00:41:56,381 --> 00:41:57,315 he had fled the country. 1170 00:41:57,315 --> 00:42:00,116 AUBREY: I say! 1171 00:42:01,620 --> 00:42:03,620 There were perfectly good stewards at the meeting. 1172 00:42:03,622 --> 00:42:05,121 They didn't have the information 1173 00:42:05,123 --> 00:42:06,623 I have since acquired. 1174 00:42:06,625 --> 00:42:08,124 You must have had a very big bet 1175 00:42:08,126 --> 00:42:09,492 to be so diligent. 1176 00:42:09,494 --> 00:42:10,994 Let's not impugn anyone's motives, 1177 00:42:10,996 --> 00:42:12,194 Mr. Elleston. 1178 00:42:12,196 --> 00:42:14,497 I have been accused of the basest possible conduct. 1179 00:42:14,499 --> 00:42:15,999 CHARLIE: But you welcome the chance 1180 00:42:16,001 --> 00:42:17,500 to come here and refute it. 1181 00:42:17,502 --> 00:42:18,668 Given the alternative. 1182 00:42:18,670 --> 00:42:20,169 Yes. Well, let's get on and do 1183 00:42:20,171 --> 00:42:21,105 as was agreed, gentlemen. 1184 00:42:21,172 --> 00:42:23,172 Thank you. 1185 00:42:23,174 --> 00:42:24,507 Do you yourself think 1186 00:42:24,509 --> 00:42:26,175 that Vital Spark's performance 1187 00:42:26,177 --> 00:42:27,610 came up to expectations? 1188 00:42:27,612 --> 00:42:29,078 No. 1189 00:42:29,080 --> 00:42:30,579 As a result of which, 1190 00:42:30,581 --> 00:42:32,448 his odds for Goodwood have lengthened. 1191 00:42:32,450 --> 00:42:33,449 Possibly. 1192 00:42:33,451 --> 00:42:34,450 It's an established fact. 1193 00:42:34,452 --> 00:42:35,618 The bookies are offering 12-1. 1194 00:42:35,620 --> 00:42:37,020 CHARLIE: But you deny any connection 1195 00:42:37,022 --> 00:42:38,021 between the 2 things. 1196 00:42:38,023 --> 00:42:39,055 Absolutely. 1197 00:42:39,057 --> 00:42:41,192 How do you account for the horse's poor showing today? 1198 00:42:42,193 --> 00:42:44,527 Racehorses are not machines, you know, Major. 1199 00:42:44,529 --> 00:42:45,695 Mr. Elleston, 1200 00:42:45,697 --> 00:42:46,863 that is a distinction 1201 00:42:46,865 --> 00:42:48,031 I made before you were born 1202 00:42:48,033 --> 00:42:49,365 or thought of. 1203 00:42:49,367 --> 00:42:50,700 Yes. I'm sorry, Major. 1204 00:42:50,702 --> 00:42:52,035 To answer the question... 1205 00:42:52,037 --> 00:42:54,537 I think Brenton called on him too soon. 1206 00:42:54,539 --> 00:42:56,039 You blame the jockey? 1207 00:42:56,041 --> 00:42:57,439 Perhaps we should have him here. 1208 00:42:57,441 --> 00:42:59,441 Uh, no. No. He rode to orders. 1209 00:42:59,443 --> 00:43:01,878 We were worried about Torpoint all along, 1210 00:43:01,880 --> 00:43:03,880 and Brenton's orders were to get ahead of him 1211 00:43:03,882 --> 00:43:04,981 the moment he could. 1212 00:43:04,983 --> 00:43:05,350 Which he did, 1213 00:43:05,350 --> 00:43:06,884 and then led the race for the first 6 furlongs. 1214 00:43:06,884 --> 00:43:08,586 Which I hadn't allowed for. 1215 00:43:08,820 --> 00:43:11,622 Vital Spark is a horse that loves to race. 1216 00:43:11,690 --> 00:43:13,189 Only he had no one to race against 1217 00:43:13,191 --> 00:43:14,557 once he took the lead. 1218 00:43:14,559 --> 00:43:16,559 MAJOR: Is that what you're saying? 1219 00:43:16,561 --> 00:43:18,061 Well, he certainly seemed to have lost interest 1220 00:43:18,063 --> 00:43:20,063 by the time he was challenged. 1221 00:43:20,065 --> 00:43:21,998 Brenton simply couldn't pull him together. 1222 00:43:22,000 --> 00:43:23,733 It was bad judgment, if you like. 1223 00:43:23,735 --> 00:43:24,934 That's hindsight. 1224 00:43:24,936 --> 00:43:26,435 But to say I deliberately tried to influence 1225 00:43:26,437 --> 00:43:27,937 the course of a race! 1226 00:43:27,939 --> 00:43:31,174 If you only knew how much I needed that prize money. 1227 00:43:31,176 --> 00:43:32,474 I do. 1228 00:43:32,476 --> 00:43:33,642 Don't make too much of it. 1229 00:43:33,644 --> 00:43:36,012 No. I mean, I've been living 1230 00:43:36,014 --> 00:43:37,914 from hand to mouth for years, you know. 1231 00:43:37,916 --> 00:43:39,415 Mr. Ross' point is 1232 00:43:39,417 --> 00:43:40,917 that you now stand to win a fortune 1233 00:43:40,919 --> 00:43:43,086 if Vital Spark wins at Goodwood. 1234 00:43:43,088 --> 00:43:46,089 Major, I might just be that farsighted. 1235 00:43:46,091 --> 00:43:49,625 Unfortunately, my creditors aren't. 1236 00:43:49,627 --> 00:43:52,095 Ha ha ha! 1237 00:43:52,097 --> 00:43:53,262 The kidneys and the kedgeree 1238 00:43:53,264 --> 00:43:54,430 only need to be warmed through 1239 00:43:54,432 --> 00:43:55,598 and put in the chafing dish 1240 00:43:55,600 --> 00:43:56,766 along the sideboard. 1241 00:43:57,402 --> 00:43:59,570 There's eggs and bacon, toast, tea, and coffee. 1242 00:43:59,637 --> 00:44:00,269 You can manage that, can't you? 1243 00:44:00,271 --> 00:44:01,370 I reckon so. 1244 00:44:01,372 --> 00:44:02,872 Then Bob's your uncle. 1245 00:44:02,874 --> 00:44:05,307 STERLING: Here, leave a few! 1246 00:44:05,309 --> 00:44:06,475 How's the party? 1247 00:44:06,477 --> 00:44:08,477 Well, there's 2 parties, isn't there? 1248 00:44:08,479 --> 00:44:09,478 What, still? 1249 00:44:09,480 --> 00:44:10,980 MRS. COCHRANE: How much longer? 1250 00:44:10,982 --> 00:44:12,481 Mum. 1251 00:44:12,483 --> 00:44:13,983 What is it? 1252 00:44:13,985 --> 00:44:17,319 This isn't going to mean trouble for Fred, is it? 1253 00:44:17,321 --> 00:44:18,487 Fred? 1254 00:44:18,489 --> 00:44:19,655 My brother. 1255 00:44:19,657 --> 00:44:20,990 Well, why should it? 1256 00:44:20,992 --> 00:44:22,458 I don't know. 1257 00:44:22,460 --> 00:44:23,993 He's a lad, see, 1258 00:44:23,995 --> 00:44:27,296 at the racing stables where Vital Spark's trained. 1259 00:44:27,298 --> 00:44:29,498 Not that I've gambled, so to speak of, 1260 00:44:29,500 --> 00:44:31,500 but he gives me a tip now and then 1261 00:44:31,502 --> 00:44:33,335 when he's onto something good. 1262 00:44:33,337 --> 00:44:35,738 Well, last week he wrote me a letter. 1263 00:44:35,740 --> 00:44:37,140 What letter? 1264 00:44:37,142 --> 00:44:39,508 To say to save my money on Vital Spark today 1265 00:44:39,510 --> 00:44:42,011 and have a real good go on him at Goodwood 1266 00:44:42,013 --> 00:44:44,480 and to keep it to myself so it don't spoil the odds. 1267 00:44:44,482 --> 00:44:46,282 Where is it, this letter? 1268 00:44:46,284 --> 00:44:48,684 I don't want to get him into trouble. 1269 00:44:48,686 --> 00:44:50,686 Nor me, and I don't want a pal of mine 1270 00:44:50,688 --> 00:44:52,023 to get into trouble, neither. 1271 00:44:52,023 --> 00:44:54,791 Now, you go and get it. There's a good girl. 1272 00:45:01,465 --> 00:45:04,466 Not my favorite dish, humble pie, 1273 00:45:04,468 --> 00:45:07,636 but I owe you an unqualified apology. 1274 00:45:07,638 --> 00:45:09,471 Think no more of it. 1275 00:45:09,473 --> 00:45:11,473 It's jolly decent of you, Desmond, 1276 00:45:11,475 --> 00:45:12,975 to take it like this. 1277 00:45:12,977 --> 00:45:15,012 I'm glad that we could settle it among ourselves. 1278 00:45:15,079 --> 00:45:16,581 I'd say this calls for a drink. 1279 00:45:16,581 --> 00:45:18,115 I really think we ought to get back to the others. 1280 00:45:18,482 --> 00:45:19,982 I'll just have a quick drink with Desmond 1281 00:45:19,984 --> 00:45:21,483 and the major and then join you. 1282 00:45:21,485 --> 00:45:23,152 Very well. Elleston. 1283 00:45:23,154 --> 00:45:24,153 Ross. 1284 00:45:24,155 --> 00:45:25,154 Major. 1285 00:45:25,156 --> 00:45:27,156 I ought to be getting back, too. 1286 00:45:27,158 --> 00:45:28,657 I'll shield you from Louisa's wrath. 1287 00:45:28,659 --> 00:45:30,259 Never fear. 1288 00:45:32,831 --> 00:45:34,330 Mrs. Trotter. 1289 00:45:36,334 --> 00:45:37,900 Over, is it? 1290 00:45:37,902 --> 00:45:40,402 Yes, and you saved me 1291 00:45:40,404 --> 00:45:42,004 from making a fool of myself. 1292 00:45:42,006 --> 00:45:44,006 I'm very grateful. 1293 00:45:44,008 --> 00:45:46,008 Oh. That's handsome of you. 1294 00:45:46,010 --> 00:45:47,509 And I'm sure Mr. Elleston 1295 00:45:47,511 --> 00:45:49,178 will want to thank you, too. 1296 00:45:49,180 --> 00:45:50,179 Good night. 1297 00:45:56,187 --> 00:45:58,687 CHARLIE: Louisa, can I introduce you 1298 00:45:58,689 --> 00:46:00,189 to Mr. Desmond Elleston? 1299 00:46:00,191 --> 00:46:01,657 Mrs. Trotter. 1300 00:46:01,659 --> 00:46:02,859 Delighted. 1301 00:46:02,861 --> 00:46:05,361 CHARLIE: Well, you not only redeemed our stay, 1302 00:46:05,363 --> 00:46:07,363 you saved us from a thumping scandal. 1303 00:46:07,365 --> 00:46:08,865 I did, didn't I? 1304 00:46:08,867 --> 00:46:10,867 Major, perhaps you'd load the bus, 1305 00:46:10,869 --> 00:46:12,969 if you wouldn't mind. 1306 00:46:12,971 --> 00:46:14,971 Uh... Right away. 1307 00:46:14,973 --> 00:46:16,973 Charlie. Elleston. 1308 00:46:16,975 --> 00:46:18,474 ELLESTON: Major. 1309 00:46:18,476 --> 00:46:21,043 CHARLIE: Night, old boy. 1310 00:46:21,045 --> 00:46:22,544 Charming fellow. Yes. 1311 00:46:22,546 --> 00:46:24,480 Shame you had to pack him off like that. 1312 00:46:24,482 --> 00:46:26,482 Well, I'll get him back, shall I? 1313 00:46:26,484 --> 00:46:28,150 Him and anyone else you want to know 1314 00:46:28,152 --> 00:46:29,986 about your pal here being a crook. 1315 00:46:29,988 --> 00:46:31,420 My dear Mrs. Tro... 1316 00:46:31,422 --> 00:46:33,155 Now, don't you try and soft-talk me! 1317 00:46:33,157 --> 00:46:35,824 I've got a letter proves exactly what you planned to do 1318 00:46:35,826 --> 00:46:37,493 and that the whole stables knew. 1319 00:46:37,495 --> 00:46:38,861 I don't believe it. 1320 00:46:38,863 --> 00:46:41,297 You will if I give it to Mr. Ross to print. 1321 00:46:41,299 --> 00:46:43,366 What have I ever done to you? 1322 00:46:43,368 --> 00:46:46,369 Nothing, but you took a lot of little people 1323 00:46:46,371 --> 00:46:49,505 this afternoon, and I don't hold with that. 1324 00:46:49,507 --> 00:46:51,507 Can't make you pay them back, 1325 00:46:51,509 --> 00:46:54,877 but I can see you don't profit by it no more. 1326 00:46:54,879 --> 00:46:57,380 If it wasn't that it'd make Lord Haslemere here look a fool 1327 00:46:57,382 --> 00:46:59,882 and upset the Farjeons, I'd give Mr. Ross that letter now. 1328 00:46:59,884 --> 00:47:02,318 As it is, you run Vital Spark at Goodwood, 1329 00:47:02,320 --> 00:47:04,120 and I swear I will. 1330 00:47:04,122 --> 00:47:05,221 You're bluffing. 1331 00:47:05,223 --> 00:47:06,622 Call it. 1332 00:47:06,624 --> 00:47:08,891 You realize I shall go bankrupt. 1333 00:47:08,893 --> 00:47:11,060 That could be the least of your worries. 1334 00:47:11,062 --> 00:47:12,962 Be drummed out society the other way. 1335 00:47:12,964 --> 00:47:14,630 You'll never get back, neither. 1336 00:47:14,632 --> 00:47:16,465 Louisa, what on earth is this all about? 1337 00:47:16,467 --> 00:47:17,633 It isn't true, Desmond? 1338 00:47:17,635 --> 00:47:19,135 Oh, Charlie! 1339 00:47:19,137 --> 00:47:21,637 If you hadn't made such a song and dance 1340 00:47:21,639 --> 00:47:24,140 about the whole thing, it would have blown over. 1341 00:47:24,142 --> 00:47:25,707 Of course it's true, 1342 00:47:25,709 --> 00:47:28,710 and I'm finished, thanks to you... 1343 00:47:28,712 --> 00:47:31,647 And Medusa here. 1344 00:47:39,757 --> 00:47:43,159 I'd have gone on oath that that man... 1345 00:47:43,161 --> 00:47:44,593 Yeah. Well... 1346 00:47:46,164 --> 00:47:48,664 That's what keeps us together, isn't it... 1347 00:47:48,666 --> 00:47:50,666 both of us being such rotten judges 1348 00:47:50,668 --> 00:47:52,501 of character? 1349 00:47:52,503 --> 00:47:54,503 I don't know. 1350 00:47:54,505 --> 00:47:56,505 I just don't know. 1351 00:47:57,876 --> 00:47:58,997 Bear up. 1352 00:47:59,277 --> 00:48:01,946 Someday one of our geese is going to turn out to be a swan. 1353 00:48:01,946 --> 00:48:04,048 It's bound to... law of averages. 1354 00:48:12,823 --> 00:48:14,290 I was just coming to say good-bye 1355 00:48:14,292 --> 00:48:15,960 and thank you. 1356 00:48:16,594 --> 00:48:17,126 That's all right. 1357 00:48:17,128 --> 00:48:18,627 I won't say the evening didn't have 1358 00:48:18,629 --> 00:48:20,129 its sticky moments, 1359 00:48:20,131 --> 00:48:21,630 but the meal was delicious, 1360 00:48:21,632 --> 00:48:23,966 and Ross tells me you averted a scandal. 1361 00:48:23,968 --> 00:48:25,468 Yeah. I did, didn't I? 1362 00:48:25,470 --> 00:48:26,702 I'm very grateful. 1363 00:48:26,704 --> 00:48:28,704 My wife would be here, too, but we have been 1364 00:48:28,706 --> 00:48:30,706 playing truant rather a lot this evening. 1365 00:48:30,708 --> 00:48:31,375 Yeah. I know. 1366 00:48:31,375 --> 00:48:32,910 In fact, I must go and rout out Charlie. 1367 00:48:32,910 --> 00:48:35,980 Yeah, well, I'd give him a minute if I was you. 1368 00:48:36,747 --> 00:48:39,250 The fact is, he got it all wrong. 1369 00:48:39,984 --> 00:48:41,484 Oh, my God. 1370 00:48:41,486 --> 00:48:43,986 I'm only telling you 'cause he's going to feel it. 1371 00:48:43,988 --> 00:48:46,489 But don't worry. It's all sorted out now. 1372 00:48:46,491 --> 00:48:49,492 No need for anyone but you and me and him to know. 1373 00:48:49,494 --> 00:48:51,994 Thank you again. 1374 00:48:51,996 --> 00:48:54,930 Give me regards to Lady Farjeon. 1375 00:49:07,978 --> 00:49:10,446 MAJOR: Yes. Well, I think that's all. 1376 00:49:10,448 --> 00:49:12,048 Thank you for your help. 1377 00:49:12,050 --> 00:49:14,116 Let's get out of here, my lot. 1378 00:49:14,118 --> 00:49:16,118 JENNETT: Good-bye, Mrs. Cochrane. 1379 00:49:16,120 --> 00:49:17,453 Thanks ever so much. 1380 00:49:17,455 --> 00:49:18,787 Good-bye, Major. 1381 00:49:18,789 --> 00:49:20,789 Well, I won't say it's been fun, 1382 00:49:20,791 --> 00:49:22,624 but we've had our moments. 1383 00:49:22,626 --> 00:49:24,626 Hope you ain't ruined your hands, 1384 00:49:24,628 --> 00:49:25,627 Miss Jennett. 1385 00:49:25,629 --> 00:49:26,962 Oh, they'll recover. 1386 00:49:26,964 --> 00:49:27,963 Ta-ta, Wilson. 1387 00:49:27,965 --> 00:49:29,965 You'd make a first-rate footman 1388 00:49:29,967 --> 00:49:31,967 if you didn't stamp about so. 1389 00:49:31,969 --> 00:49:33,635 Best regards, Mr. Sterling. 1390 00:49:33,637 --> 00:49:34,970 Mutual, Mrs. Trotter. 1391 00:49:34,972 --> 00:49:37,306 Well, we'd better get on upstairs. 1392 00:49:37,308 --> 00:49:38,407 Good-bye. 1393 00:49:38,409 --> 00:49:39,741 Ta-ta. 1394 00:49:44,982 --> 00:49:46,982 Here, Kath. 1395 00:49:46,984 --> 00:49:48,484 I don't poach, 1396 00:49:48,486 --> 00:49:50,486 but you should ever fancy chancing 1397 00:49:50,488 --> 00:49:52,754 your arm in London, you look me up, eh? 1398 00:49:52,756 --> 00:49:54,256 Bentinck Hotel, 1399 00:49:54,258 --> 00:49:55,757 Duke Street, St. James'. 1400 00:49:55,759 --> 00:49:57,759 Thank you, mum. Thanks ever so much. 1401 00:49:57,761 --> 00:49:59,261 Don't let it go to your head 1402 00:49:59,263 --> 00:50:00,963 and spoil breakfast, will you? 1403 00:50:00,965 --> 00:50:02,465 No, ma'am. 1404 00:50:02,467 --> 00:50:04,467 And, uh, I'd burn that 1405 00:50:04,469 --> 00:50:06,469 if I was you. 1406 00:50:06,471 --> 00:50:09,472 Mind how you go! 1407 00:50:09,474 --> 00:50:11,474 [door closes]