What you doing?
I need some stuff for Jamie. What stuff?
Milk.
You got milk. And diapers, okay? He ran out..
No, he didn't. What are you doing, Louise? You trying to get me killed?
Please. I just I need to go out for a little while.
And I told you no!
I need you here.
I need you.
I hate you for doing this to us, Vinnie.
I swear to God, I hate you!
Good, Louise, real good. Now, you want to shut off the waterworks?
We had a date last night, Vinnie?
What happened?
I'm getting the money, I just don't have it yet.
Break his legs.
No! I'll get the money! Claude, I swear I'll have it tomorrow, man!
Vinnie,let's be honest with ourselves.
A little punk like you will never have ten grand.
Shouldn't have been at that crap table in the first place.
So. Tomorrow you bring me the money or you're dead.
No, Claude!
I could get it.The envelope, man.
On the TV. Check the envelope, you'll see.
The envelope.
So this is how you're going to pay me back.
You're going to use your kid.
Vinnie, I was feeling sorry for you. Now I'm not.
So. Tomorrow you bring me the money or you're dead.
Louise... Louise!
Damn it, Louise!
The Mountie. Have you guys seen the Mountie?
You have an appointment?
Where is he?
Try the coffee shop.
Okay.
I'm not talking just about a haircut here, Fraser, we're talking about a change in lifestyle.
There's something wrong with your life, Ray?
No, there's something wrong with my hair, and that reflects on my life.
Your hair is who you are, Fraser. It makes a statement.
Oh, I see.
Coffee?Please.
What does it say?
What?Your hair. What's it saying?
At the moment?
Yeah.Well, let's see.
It's uh...straight and slicked back, so I guess it's got that 'mess with me and you're dead' style, good for the job.
The contouring around the ears?
That's unexpected.
Uh, that says...
'watch out, this guy might be dangerous.'
And then the feathering around the back? Well, that's a nod to the female demographic.
So what's it saying?
It's saying 'deadly and dangerous but not afraid to cry.
Really?
What does my hair say?
Oh, that's not hair, Fraser, that's a pelt. Oh.
Thank you.
Thank you. Thank you kindly.
You know, I just have this feeling that something's missing.
Pardon me.
Oh sir, uh...
It's to be expected, Ray. I mean, after all, as a man ages--
Well, what are you saying? You saying I'm thinning?
No, no, no. I'm not saying you're thinning, I'm saying-You want to see thinning? I'm gonna show you thinning.
Hey, there, you need a hand?
That's okay, sir.
It's gone, Fraser!
What's gone, Ray? That thing, that 'je ne sais quoi.'
It's just a bald spot, Ray.
Oh, two minutes ago I'm thinning, now it's a bald spot?!
I'm sorry, Ray, but I thought you realized.
Where? Where? At the back? Is it bad? How bad...
Fraser, there's a baby in my car.
Yes, there is, Ray.
There certainly is.
Due South
1x09 - A Cop A Mountie And A Baby
Isn't he cute.
I mean, call me old-fashioned, but I think there's nothing as attractive as a man with baby formula on his sleeve.
Oh please!
Oh could you, uh, would you mind...
Anything else I can get you?
Yes, actually. If you could just uh... Oh, sorry.
Thank you.
This is pathetic!
I know, but he seems to be enjoying it. Not him, you!
Okay. Diaper-changing time. Any volunteers?
I didn't think so.
Come on let's dig us up a social worker.
Oh, you think that's wise, Ray? I mean, the mother comes looking for him--
What mother? The kid was abandoned.
Well not according to this.Look.
Blankets, cloth diapers, extra clothing.The food is all homemade and in reusable jars.
This mother cares about her child very much.
Oh yeah. That's why she left him in the back of a parked car.
I don't think she planned to, Ray. I think she's desperate and she needs our help.
How do you know that?
I think she saw us in here but couldn't attract our attention.
And she has to live nearby,she couldn't have run very far with all of this in her arms.
Oh come on,Fraser. Moot point.
Procedure is you find an abandoned kid, you call a social worker and tag, she's it.
Then he goes to a holding center.
Is that like an orphanage?
No. It's a very modern facility where they hold the kid 'til they can place him in a foster home.
An orphanage! No, it's not an orphanage.
hat if the mother wants the child back?
Well then,there'll be an investigation. If it turns out there was extenuating circumstances. Maybe.
I see.
Oh come on, Fraser, don't give me that big-eyed Mountie look!
It's police procedure. Now give me the kid.
Give me the kid!
Diefenbaker, no, you heard him. It's procedure.
He has a philosophical objection. You understand.
So, what, the wolf has a thing about family values?
Well, most wolves do.
Surely you've heard of stories of wolves raising children that were abandoned in the wilderness?
Those are not historical accounts, Fraser, those are Disney movies.
Myth springs from truth, Ray.
Most wolves form very strong loyalties and will kill to defend them.
I know. I've experienced it.
Really?
Oh, it's all right. He knows you. Just keep your hands where he can see them.
And make the puffin face.
I am not gonna make the puffin face.
- Make the puffin face. I don't even know what a puffin is.
- Oh, you look ridiculous. No, I don't.
Oh yes, you do.
So this is the...
It looks better on the inside.
I'm sure it does.
Fraser, It's not a workhouse. They don't put kids on treadmills here.
No, no, no. of course not.
We'll be right back.
They seem happy enough.
Hi, how are you?
Are you my daddy?
Uh, no kid, I'm not.Well-fed, too.
You're my daddy?
No. No, kid, I'm not, but I'm sure he'll be along soon enough, okay?.
Oh yes. Very soon.
Ray?
Six o'clock !
What?
You got 'til six o'clock to find the kid's mother. After that he hits the treadmill.
Well, I thought you said that they didn't have a--
Never mind that. C'mon. Get in the car.
Thank you kindly.
- How much you get? Five big ones.
He's good. Real good.
You're sure? She could be blonde or brunette.Uh-uh.Sorry.
But cloth diapers? How do you prevent them from leaking?
Sphagnum moss. It's an old Inuit method.
Naturally anti-bacterial, holds three times it's weight in liquid.
Really?Mm-hmm.
Benny, you want to save the survival tips for later?Oh, of course, Ray.
Just make sure that you check for bugs.
All right. That's three parks,two toy stores and a 'mommy and me' class.I think we've done our duty by the little tyke.
Oh, oh, Ray. Would you mind? I think he's got gas.
Oh come on, Fraser. No, no. I changed him. Fair's fair.
Look, we are getting nowhere, okay? We need a better description than hair color, race and possible matching dimples.
Oh no!Fraser!
Fraser, give me something.Give me a rag. Give me a hat, give me the hat!
-Leave it. Leave it. -Hey, this is Armani.
It's interesting.
No, it's not interesting, it's vomit. There's interesting and then there's vomit.Now get it off me!
Ray, this isn't formula.
It's curdled.
And I don't think it's cow's milk, the curdles are too small.
Well, who cares what it is? Just get me to a dry cleaner, will ya?
Where's the nearest Dairy Mart?
Yep, it's vomit all right.
Yes, but do you recognize the curds?
I don't know. It's a little chewed up.
Maybe if you let it harden.
On suede? What are you, a sadist?
Perhaps an educated guess.
Well if it came out of the child's stomach, I'd say goat's milk.
Smaller curd, easier on the tummy.
You have anybody who special orders?
Oh yeah, a few. Some have allergies, some just buy it for their kids.
How many?
Yeah?
Things have been kinda tough,you know,
with me out of work and Louise worried about how we're gonna take care of Jamie.
I guess she just snapped.
The doctor said she was just depressed after the baby.
All she needed was a few weeks and she'd get over it, but-
Where is she now?
Oh, she's out looking for Jamie.
I mean we both were, right? But then I came back.
I thought maybe somebody would call.
No, I know. We ran into each other outside the coffee shop.
Yeah. Sorry about that.I was pretty freaked out and Louise,she was even worse.
I mean she practically fell apart when she realized what she did.
She's crazy about this kid. She...She... I've never seen her cry like that, right?
I say to her, I say, 'It's okay.
You just made a mistake.'
You can understand a mistake, can't you, Detective?
Do you have any identification?
The Mountie. Have you seen him anywhere?
Maybe. You his girlfriend?
No. Did he have a baby with him?
Oh, you got him babysitting for you, huh?
Please, can you just tell me if you've seen, him?
You live on Hastings?Yeah.
Then you better hurry.
Babysitting. Why didn't I think of that?
All right. Father's driver's license matches the baby's birth certificate. I'm happy.
Do you have any family photographs?
Benny, it's the kid's father. Everything matches up.It's okay.
He kinda looked like Kermit the Frog at first,but that's him.
Diefenbaker, this is the baby's father.
Well, uh, thank you for your patience.
Really?
You don't know what this means to Louise and me.
We won't forget ya.
Just don't leave the baby unattended again.
Ah, I don't know. My mother never left me alone,
and if she did there was always somebody there to look after me.
Diefenbaker!
Oh, great. We've got a jealous wolf now?
What is it?
Oh, come on! He's already passed the sniff test. What more do you want?
Maybe I wasn't specific enough. Maybe I didn't ask the right questions.
Oh what's he supposed to be? Some kind of lupine lie detector now?
Pacifier. What?
He threw the baby's pacifier onto the ground.
You take the front.
Diefenbaker!
You!
My baby!
What did you do with him?
Are you Louise? Yes, yes! I gave you my baby.
So, um, where is he?
His father. I--
Oh my God.
He's gonna sell him.
He's gonna sell Jamie!
1974 white Chevy convertible. Illinois plate Robert-John-David-eight-zero-nine...
No, no, do not apprehend. He's got a kid with him...
Just get me a location.
At first I thought he was letting off steam.
He was out of work,nothing to do but stare at the four walls,
so he would go out at night and bet a little...Lose mostly.
And he would pick up a day of work here and there so I thought it was just a few bucks.
Until his unemployment checks started to disappear.
How much did he lose?
He wouldn't tell me.
But the man, the one who threatened him... He said ten thousand dollars.
Musta been some roll.
Yeah, well if you ask me, I think they saw him coming.
And the baby?
It was so stupid! I thought he was just talking crazy like he does sometimes when things get bad,
but I never thought that he would--
There was this man who came by the neighborhood,
and he said he worked for this lawyer who specialized in helping people like us.
People who couldn't take care of their kids.
I told him to go to hell, but Vinnie...
All that he could see was how much he cost us.
Doctor's bills, grocery money.
I couldn't work, so that was Jamie's fault too.
And Vinnie. He was just... he was just so angry all the time.
He wouldn't even hold him.
His own kid.
He's not-he's not a bad guy.
He didn't used to be.
We'll find him.
Look, if you want us to arrest him, you're gonna have to swear out a complaint.
Is that what you want?
They-they say that you believe in people.
That you're the only one in the neighborhood without locks on his doors.
Yes, well that's not entirely intentional.
Someone stole 'em.
This attorney. Do you remember his name?
Morisot and Associates, attorneys at law, hold please.Morisot and Associates, attorneys at law. How can I help you?
...She's in a meeting... Would you like to leave another message?
...Thank you.
Look it's been thirty minutes now. Could I just go in and drop off the--
You got a chair? Yeah.
You got a magazine? Uh-huh, but I just want--Sit!
You got a mouthpiece named Morisot here?
It all depends what flatfoot is asking.
You know, Ray, this may not be best--
I'll tell you what, Millie. You get Morisot out here, or I hold a seminar on black market baby-selling in your lobby.
Magazine?
Okay, how many of you folks are here to arrange for adoptions!
Ray, we have no evidence--
Fraser, look, this is how it works, okay? A sleezeball lawyer rents a fancy office,
and poor suckers like these thinks he's legit.
Next thing you know, he's buying and selling babies like rugs in the Casbah.
Excuse me, ma'am, do you know what could happen to a little tyke in a place like this?
We just came to use the restroom.
I'm Miss Morisot. Can I help you, Detective?
Yeah, you can turn that baby over to me, or I could slap a pair of handcuffs on ya.
Perhaps you should step in.
Perhaps we should.
This will take just a minute.
Now just what the hell is this all about?
Miss Morisot, we have reason to believe that
that child has been put up for adoption without the full knowledge and agreement of both of its parents.
Which makes you a fraud, a kidnapper, and not a very nice person.
Detective, I can't decide if you are naturally offensive, or just naturally ignorant.
In either case, it might behoove you to check your facts before shooting your mouth off.
How much did she offer you, Vinnie? Forty, fifty grand for that kid?
Can't you do something? Get him out of here!
I hate to burst your bubble, Detective, but this is a completely legal adoption.
Any compensation the parents may or may not receive is fully allowable under Illinois law.
Oh, come on! Louise Webber doesn't even know her kid's being sold off!
Louise Webber sat at this table six weeks ago and signed these application papers in my presence.
You will notice that they are witnessed,
notarized and the appropriate copies have been filed with Illinois State Adoption Board.
The mother knew?
Of course she knew.
I'm a respected attorney, Constable, not some back-street baby-snatcher.
I make my living from people who trust me and make referrals.
That should be obvious.
I'm out of here. You deal with this.
You signed an agreement, Vinnie.
I'll be there.
What?
Goat's milk.
What?
He drinks goat's milk. You're almost out.
Vinnie!
You didn't tell them, did you?
I thought that maybe they wouldn't help us.
Nobody is going to help us.
We're in too deep. That's why we gotta do this.
But Jamie...needs us too.
It'll be better for him.
You should see these people, Louise. They got money. Heaps of it. He's some big corporate guy. He's got his own plane!
What are you and I gonna offer this kid except a whole lot of nothing?
You never tried, Vinnie. Not once. You were just too busy thinking about yourself.
Yeah. It's always me.Everything's my fault.
You signed those papers, Louise! Nobody put a gun to your head.
We both did something really stupid, but that doesn't mean that we can't change our minds.
Look, the lawyer said--
Both of us got to back out, not just you. I can't afford that.
I back out, I'm dead!.
Vinnie, please.
Think about what you're doing!
I got no choice, okay?Fine!
You give him to me!
Give me my baby! Vinnie.
Vinnie, don't!Please!
Vinnie.Don't.
No! No!
It's over.
Not quite.
He never listens.
I'll get the car.
.
room 6.
Do you know how hard it is to find goat's milk at a 7-11?
If it wasn't for the Armenian at the cash register--
Thanks, Ray.
You're breaking your heart over someone else's kid. It's not a smart move.
No, you're probably right.
You know what you're going to say?
You'll think of something.
Come on, get out of here!
Get out of here!
All right, I'm calling the pound.
What the hell is wrong with you?
I'd steer the conversation away from dog pounds if I were you.
Not surprisingly, he lacks perspective on the subject. May I?
What are you doing here?
I got some things for your son. You might want to warm this up.
I got milk. Now you want to get your wolf away from my kid?
Oh well, that's - that's going to be difficult.
Why, is he nuts or something?
No, no, no, no. It's just that he rarely does anything that I ask him.
We've tried to work through it. God knows I have done my part, but it's something we can't seem to get past.
This-this is nuts, man.
I know. I know. I know.
It's a conundrum.
But he does seem intent on staying,
so if I were to hazard a guess, I would say that he must have a reason.
The wolf.Apparently.Mmm.
Did you do anything to make him think you need him?
Oh come on, man. What do I need with a wolf?
Now that, that's an interesting question.
According to the textbooks, the wolf is a hunter, an animal of prey.
The Inuit. The Inuit take a very different view of it.
The Inuit?
People of the North.
They have their own idea of why the wolf was created.
You interested?
In the beginning of this legend, there was a man and woman.
And nothing else on Earth walked or swam or flew.
And so the woman dug a big hole in the ground and she started fishing in it.
And she pulled out all of the animals. And the last animal she pulled out was the caribou.
Thought this was about wolves, man.
Oh, they'll be along in a minute.Ah.
And so the woman set the caribou free and ordered it to multiply and soon the land was full of them.
And the people lived well, and they were happy.
But the hunters... The hunters only killed those caribou that were big and strong,
and soon all that was left were the weak and the sick.
And The People began to starve.
So the woman had to make magic again, and this time she called Amorak, Spirit of the Wolf,
to winnow out the weak and the sick so the herd would once again be strong.
The People realized that the caribou and the wolf were one.
For although the caribou feeds the wolf, it is the wolf that keeps the caribou strong.
So, what are you saying? The wolf's gonna eat me?
Perhaps.
Inuit story? - Yep.
Let's hope it works.
Get off me.Get off me!
Oh my God.Oh my God!
Uh. Okay. Okay. All right. It's okay. It's okay.
Come on, Daddy's here.
Yeah. Okay, yeah.
That's my boy.
It's gonna be okay.
And you're gonna like it.
When I was a kid I always wanted to live in a big house with a backyard, and you know what?
I bet you'll even gonna have a tree-house.
Things can't always be the way you want 'em to.
And sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do.You better learn that.
You can kid yourself sometimes.
But when you do, it catches up to you.
So don't say your old man never taught you anything.
Need a lift, Vinnie?
Easy man,
watch the kid!
they'll get their money first.
I just want to say goodbye.
Cheer up. You're gonna be a free man soon.
So we're just gonna sit this one out?
You can't solve peoples problems for them, Ray.
Well, at least he'll have a new home and parents.
He's probably better off.
Oh great, so now he changes his mind, with guns and criminals?!
Shoot him please!
In the back?
Unless you can think of a better angle. Yes.
Vinnie!Damn!
Get him!
Okay, we saved his life for fifteen seconds. Now what?
You take the big one, I'll take the bigger one.
Fraser, There's three of them. Can't I just shoot 'em?
Not unless you want to blow up 32 tons of jet fuel.
No!
Give me the kid, Vinnie.
I'm not doing it, man.
Of course you are. Even the lowest creature is blessed with a survival instinct.
Come on, Vinnie. Give me the kid.
No way, man. You want to take me out, go ahead, but you're not getting my kid.
It's your choice.
Are you going to call him off?
Diefenbaker. Off.
He never listens.
It's true.
Let's go home.
You take our kid! You scare the hell out of me!
You got a lot to make up for, man.
- Thank you. - You're welcome.
She's a little upset.
Louise!Can't we talk about this?
I think she was nearsighted.
Who?
The chick with the bike.
Oh, you mean at the coffee shop. - Yeah.
Ah. Well, she's probably too young for you, Ray.
Oh, no, no. It's not her.
It's just that she didn't notice my 'je ne sais quoi.'
From the French, meaning 'I don't know what'?
Yeah.
Have you ever considered that maybe you've just replaced it with something else?
Really? What?
- Yeah, that's it. - What?
I'd rather not say.
Come on, Fraser.
No, Ray, it's your hair. You know, it wouldn't be right.
No, no, we're partners, man! You got to be brutally honest with me.
All right.
In one phrase?
Je ne sais quoi.
End
due South by wmn001 ^@@^