1 00:00:00,540 --> 00:00:04,490 - What's the matter with you, Leslie? - I have to live with you. What's the matter with you? 2 00:00:04,540 --> 00:00:07,740 Well, I'm not sneery and prickly and I don't smell like feet! 3 00:00:09,740 --> 00:00:13,930 Have a ruddy bath, find a ruddy job and... change your personality! 4 00:00:13,980 --> 00:00:16,690 You know what? I had more fun in that police cell than here. 5 00:00:16,740 --> 00:00:19,650 Ask yourself why, because I've given you a loving and happy home. 6 00:00:19,700 --> 00:00:21,570 Maybe I'm not the happy kind. 7 00:00:21,620 --> 00:00:24,620 Well, you're making us feel the same way. 8 00:01:12,940 --> 00:01:15,210 Adolescents are all hard work, aren't they? 9 00:01:15,260 --> 00:01:17,250 How was Larry at 18? 10 00:01:17,300 --> 00:01:21,170 Er... Like a tall, evil goblin, but sort of fun. 11 00:01:21,220 --> 00:01:26,020 Whereas Leslie, who I love, obviously, is a twit with a gun. 12 00:01:28,620 --> 00:01:30,010 Ugh. 13 00:01:30,060 --> 00:01:33,460 - What is this? - Oh, you don't want to know. 14 00:01:34,260 --> 00:01:37,250 - Oh, Margo has got a job, though. - Congratulations. 15 00:01:37,300 --> 00:01:39,290 Companion to the Countess Mavrodaki. 16 00:01:39,340 --> 00:01:42,210 Well, we all need someone to be with. 17 00:01:42,940 --> 00:01:47,730 If you mean Sven, I am tired of trying to break through his bloody shell. 18 00:01:47,780 --> 00:01:49,250 Oh, but he's so handsome. 19 00:01:49,300 --> 00:01:51,770 Yeah, and wouldn't it be nice if, just once, 20 00:01:51,820 --> 00:01:56,530 a man could look good with his shirt off and want to share some thoughts? 21 00:01:56,580 --> 00:01:58,650 Isn't love worth pursuing? 22 00:01:58,700 --> 00:02:01,370 Is this bile? 23 00:02:01,420 --> 00:02:04,450 Who knows? Patients are full of surprises. Don't change the subject. 24 00:02:04,500 --> 00:02:06,900 Yes, love is worth pursuing. 25 00:02:25,500 --> 00:02:27,090 Hey! 26 00:02:29,340 --> 00:02:32,210 Why is everyone shouting at me today? 27 00:02:35,780 --> 00:02:38,820 Look, I know this is Greece, but you're gonna have to speak English. 28 00:03:01,660 --> 00:03:03,250 Louisa. 29 00:03:03,300 --> 00:03:04,780 Sven. 30 00:03:08,740 --> 00:03:10,970 Are you busy or just being rude? 31 00:03:11,020 --> 00:03:12,490 I'm busy. 32 00:03:12,540 --> 00:03:14,850 Do you have to be so secretive? 33 00:03:14,900 --> 00:03:19,410 I've already got a son at home who is about to implode because he can't express himself. 34 00:03:19,460 --> 00:03:21,370 I just like my privacy. 35 00:03:21,420 --> 00:03:25,930 Right. I just thought we knew each other well enough to pop by and say hello. 36 00:03:25,980 --> 00:03:28,250 Well, sometimes a man is an island. 37 00:03:28,300 --> 00:03:29,890 Oh? 38 00:03:29,940 --> 00:03:32,930 It's 'no man is an island', you idiot. 39 00:03:32,980 --> 00:03:35,980 Right, well, I'll get back to my family. 40 00:03:40,420 --> 00:03:45,810 Your principal function will be to read to me, as my eyes tire easily. 41 00:03:45,860 --> 00:03:48,090 I know, mine are the same. 42 00:03:48,140 --> 00:03:50,370 Well, I hope not. 43 00:03:50,420 --> 00:03:52,300 No. Sorry. 44 00:03:53,300 --> 00:03:55,290 I was just trying to agree with you. 45 00:03:55,340 --> 00:03:59,060 My last job was a bit of a calamity, so I need this to go well. 46 00:04:01,100 --> 00:04:06,250 Demetrios used to read to me, but his voice is rather unpleasant. 47 00:04:06,300 --> 00:04:08,810 It isn't and my name is Dennis. 48 00:04:08,860 --> 00:04:12,730 He's still learning where to place the cutlery around the table. 49 00:04:12,780 --> 00:04:18,380 So I am delighted to have you here as my companion. 50 00:04:21,860 --> 00:04:23,740 Mowgli! 51 00:04:29,860 --> 00:04:31,730 Something's crawled into it. 52 00:04:31,780 --> 00:04:34,320 It's two beautiful bats. Look. 53 00:04:34,780 --> 00:04:36,530 I don't want to see bats! 54 00:04:36,580 --> 00:04:38,650 No more frigging wildlife out here. 55 00:04:38,700 --> 00:04:40,690 They've got to go somewhere. 56 00:04:40,740 --> 00:04:42,250 Outdoors? 57 00:04:42,300 --> 00:04:44,370 Where they came from? 58 00:04:48,980 --> 00:04:51,010 God! 59 00:04:51,060 --> 00:04:53,770 One collects them, the other executes them. 60 00:04:53,820 --> 00:04:55,570 I hate that turkey farmer. 61 00:04:55,620 --> 00:04:57,650 Crippenopoulos? Yes. 62 00:04:57,700 --> 00:04:59,690 Crusty. Vile. 63 00:04:59,740 --> 00:05:02,010 - Money-grabbing weasel. - Is that his name? 64 00:05:02,060 --> 00:05:03,850 Crippenopoulos? No. 65 00:05:03,900 --> 00:05:05,890 So why call him that, then? 66 00:05:05,940 --> 00:05:11,100 Because he's like the murderer Crippen. I've added the Greek suffix "opoulos" because we're in... 67 00:05:13,660 --> 00:05:16,050 Please find me some cleverer people. 68 00:05:16,100 --> 00:05:18,570 Oh, will you piss off upstairs and do your typing. 69 00:05:18,620 --> 00:05:22,290 I'm recharging my batteries, while I find out if they'll publish my novel. 70 00:05:22,340 --> 00:05:25,540 That's a story in book form, with chapters. 71 00:05:26,540 --> 00:05:29,340 I found some baby owls in the woods. 72 00:05:29,460 --> 00:05:32,330 And I've put the bats somewhere safe! 73 00:05:47,580 --> 00:05:50,580 Roger, shush. No-one likes a loud mouth. 74 00:06:02,500 --> 00:06:06,300 So, are you a pain, because your so-called girlfriend is miles away? 75 00:06:09,820 --> 00:06:13,340 Are you one, because you'll never ever get another girlfriend? 76 00:06:17,180 --> 00:06:18,580 Bog. 77 00:06:44,380 --> 00:06:46,410 Who's there? 78 00:06:47,820 --> 00:06:49,210 Leslie! 79 00:06:49,260 --> 00:06:51,540 Oh, come on! 80 00:06:56,980 --> 00:06:58,570 Get them out! 81 00:06:58,620 --> 00:06:59,960 Leslie! 82 00:07:00,860 --> 00:07:02,800 Leslie, I mean it! 83 00:07:03,220 --> 00:07:04,860 Ah! Aaah! 84 00:07:09,180 --> 00:07:10,780 Leslie! 85 00:07:11,780 --> 00:07:13,850 Help me! 86 00:07:13,900 --> 00:07:16,460 Leslie! 87 00:07:18,500 --> 00:07:20,500 Leslie! 88 00:07:26,300 --> 00:07:28,440 Here we go again. What? 89 00:07:33,220 --> 00:07:35,620 Oh, my God, he's got rabies. 90 00:07:41,380 --> 00:07:44,820 Help! Help! 91 00:07:48,300 --> 00:07:49,890 Urgh! Uhh! 92 00:07:49,940 --> 00:07:51,420 Help! 93 00:07:52,500 --> 00:07:54,090 Larry? 94 00:07:54,140 --> 00:07:56,130 Whoo! God! 95 00:07:56,180 --> 00:07:57,770 Oh, darling. Oh! 96 00:07:57,820 --> 00:08:00,330 - I want Leslie dead. - I'll deal with this. 97 00:08:00,380 --> 00:08:02,090 He's got to learn. 98 00:08:02,140 --> 00:08:03,940 What's going on? 99 00:08:05,220 --> 00:08:06,780 No. 100 00:08:07,860 --> 00:08:09,730 You've killed it. 101 00:08:10,740 --> 00:08:13,450 - It's only a bat, Gerry. - They're lovely. 102 00:08:13,500 --> 00:08:15,290 All creatures are. 103 00:08:15,340 --> 00:08:17,810 Especially the ones no-one likes. 104 00:08:17,860 --> 00:08:19,460 Oh. 105 00:08:22,460 --> 00:08:24,850 Go on, then. Take your misery out on me. 106 00:08:24,900 --> 00:08:26,490 A tent. For you to live in. 107 00:08:26,540 --> 00:08:30,060 In the garden until you start to appreciate the home and family life. 108 00:08:33,940 --> 00:08:36,740 So where are you intending to sleep? 109 00:08:44,780 --> 00:08:46,370 Don't you... 110 00:08:46,420 --> 00:08:48,290 dare. 111 00:08:48,340 --> 00:08:49,940 Get off! 112 00:09:21,540 --> 00:09:23,140 Sotos. 113 00:09:28,580 --> 00:09:30,650 - Leslie. - English. 114 00:09:33,980 --> 00:09:35,460 Erm... 115 00:09:36,820 --> 00:09:38,820 Can I stay with you? 116 00:09:54,000 --> 00:09:58,750 Lady Marchmont watched Sir Timothy's hands dancing on the piano keys. 117 00:09:58,800 --> 00:10:01,350 Even the back of his neck was handsome. 118 00:10:01,400 --> 00:10:02,720 Mm. 119 00:10:06,920 --> 00:10:09,920 - How's it coming along? - Splendidly. 120 00:10:11,320 --> 00:10:13,990 You don't get any better, do you? 121 00:10:15,960 --> 00:10:18,270 But Lady Marchmont's head was in turmoil. 122 00:10:18,320 --> 00:10:19,750 Well, it would be. 123 00:10:19,800 --> 00:10:22,870 So she asked for a cold compress and took it with her to her room, 124 00:10:22,920 --> 00:10:25,070 which tended, in any case, to be chilly. 125 00:10:25,120 --> 00:10:27,230 You're reading it like that, are you? 126 00:10:27,280 --> 00:10:29,950 Jealousy does not become you. 127 00:10:30,000 --> 00:10:32,150 Shall I bring you some easier fruit? 128 00:10:32,200 --> 00:10:34,140 You're a rude man. 129 00:10:58,480 --> 00:11:02,070 Lugaretzia, if that's Greek for "You're a dreadful mother", 130 00:11:02,120 --> 00:11:04,310 I will make you clean out the pelican. 131 00:11:04,360 --> 00:11:08,510 - Leslie is best child. - Yes. I know you think Leslie is best child. 132 00:11:08,560 --> 00:11:11,560 Now please go and ask Spiro to find him. 133 00:11:17,440 --> 00:11:21,430 Well, I've run out of good books to read, so I might as well sort you out. 134 00:11:21,480 --> 00:11:25,350 Sort me out? If you hadn't been so unkind to Leslie, he'd still be here. 135 00:11:25,400 --> 00:11:27,150 You're so shirty. 136 00:11:27,200 --> 00:11:29,190 I smell man trouble. 137 00:11:29,240 --> 00:11:30,830 If you mean Sven, 138 00:11:30,880 --> 00:11:35,590 as everybody seems so intent on shoving us together, he's clearly not interested. 139 00:11:35,640 --> 00:11:40,030 Well, he wouldn't be the first moody Swede. You're better off with a Finn. 140 00:11:40,080 --> 00:11:42,620 Well, there weren't any Finns. 141 00:11:42,880 --> 00:11:45,270 Anyway, he seems to enjoy being... 142 00:11:45,320 --> 00:11:47,310 .. strong and silent and... well... 143 00:11:47,360 --> 00:11:48,830 male. 144 00:11:48,880 --> 00:11:52,270 - So he's like Mr Darcy, in -- - Yes, I know what book Mr Darcy is in! 145 00:11:52,320 --> 00:11:53,870 Thank you. 146 00:11:53,920 --> 00:11:57,590 And for all the failings of English men, at least I understand them. 147 00:11:57,640 --> 00:11:59,630 And England. 148 00:11:59,680 --> 00:12:01,950 Smug, tweedy old England? 149 00:12:02,000 --> 00:12:03,790 Pudding Island? 150 00:12:03,840 --> 00:12:06,180 What's wrong with pudding? 151 00:12:19,880 --> 00:12:22,670 Leslie, eat. 152 00:12:22,720 --> 00:12:24,160 Thanks. 153 00:12:26,120 --> 00:12:28,990 First... run round. 154 00:12:29,040 --> 00:12:30,590 What? 155 00:12:30,640 --> 00:12:32,430 To eat, run round. 156 00:12:32,480 --> 00:12:34,470 What? Run round the shack? 157 00:12:34,520 --> 00:12:36,520 Bugger off. 158 00:13:13,760 --> 00:13:16,700 Darling, don't, supper's nearly ready. 159 00:13:17,160 --> 00:13:19,500 Listen, this is important. 160 00:13:20,840 --> 00:13:24,590 I have to get hold of better clothing or I won't get the boyfriend I want. 161 00:13:24,640 --> 00:13:26,910 The Countess has gorgeous clothes. 162 00:13:26,960 --> 00:13:30,430 A true boyfriend will love you even if you're wearing a dirty old sack. 163 00:13:30,480 --> 00:13:32,470 Mrs Durrell. 164 00:13:32,520 --> 00:13:34,270 Your son Leslie. 165 00:13:34,320 --> 00:13:38,020 - What's happened? - He is living with bad people. 166 00:13:49,200 --> 00:13:51,350 Oh, darling. 167 00:13:51,400 --> 00:13:53,390 Please come home. 168 00:13:53,440 --> 00:13:56,030 - No. You chucked me out. - I know and it was wrong. 169 00:13:56,080 --> 00:13:58,630 But you are way out of your depth with these men. 170 00:13:58,680 --> 00:14:00,670 They're my friends. 171 00:14:00,720 --> 00:14:02,830 Well, at least let me come in and tidy. 172 00:14:02,880 --> 00:14:04,680 - No. - Leslie! 173 00:14:05,520 --> 00:14:09,040 I don't know what's gone wrong between us. How can I make it better? 174 00:14:10,560 --> 00:14:11,950 I... 175 00:14:12,000 --> 00:14:14,540 I just can't seem to be happy. 176 00:14:16,200 --> 00:14:17,790 Mrs Durrell. 177 00:14:17,840 --> 00:14:20,550 - Kalispera. - Ah, good evening. Kalispera. 178 00:14:20,600 --> 00:14:25,430 - I come to arrest. - The gentlemen who live here don't seem to be at home. My son is just about to leave. 179 00:14:25,480 --> 00:14:27,910 - Yes. I want him. - What? - Why? 180 00:14:27,960 --> 00:14:30,900 But you can't do that! What's he done? 181 00:14:31,040 --> 00:14:32,630 Leslie? 182 00:14:32,680 --> 00:14:34,880 I haven't done anything! 183 00:14:37,040 --> 00:14:40,560 I miss my bat, Lugaretzia. I'm going to give him a good send-off. 184 00:14:41,800 --> 00:14:43,800 Leslie's shorts. 185 00:15:04,520 --> 00:15:05,710 Herete. 186 00:15:05,760 --> 00:15:07,190 Hello. 187 00:15:07,240 --> 00:15:08,830 My name's Margo. 188 00:15:08,880 --> 00:15:10,470 Angel. 189 00:15:10,520 --> 00:15:13,040 You know, like an angel. 190 00:15:14,160 --> 00:15:17,070 So, er, you like to watch me at work. 191 00:15:17,120 --> 00:15:19,260 Yes, I love gardening. 192 00:15:30,160 --> 00:15:34,640 - Killing turkeys is a serious crime. He's bailed for a week. - Thank you, Officer. 193 00:15:36,120 --> 00:15:37,710 It's so unfair! 194 00:15:37,760 --> 00:15:40,790 Sssh! You're only out on bail. They can arrest you again. 195 00:15:40,840 --> 00:15:43,390 It's outrageous. Why bother to respect the law? 196 00:15:43,440 --> 00:15:47,070 The farmer obviously thinks we have tons of money and we'll roll over -- 197 00:15:47,120 --> 00:15:49,830 You've always told me honesty is its own reward. 198 00:15:49,880 --> 00:15:51,870 Well, it's not true. Is it? 199 00:15:51,920 --> 00:15:53,710 Leslie, just... come home. 200 00:15:53,760 --> 00:15:55,550 Lugaretzia's beside herself. 201 00:15:55,600 --> 00:15:59,670 Larry's written you a very funny poem based on the Ballad Of Reading Gaol. 202 00:15:59,720 --> 00:16:02,030 Well, we all miss you, darling, terribly. 203 00:16:02,080 --> 00:16:04,220 Well, I don't miss you. 204 00:16:15,600 --> 00:16:18,070 Lady Margo, you are stunning. 205 00:16:19,000 --> 00:16:21,670 Yes, Angel, I am. Very much so... 206 00:16:24,520 --> 00:16:27,320 I'm... I'm sorry. I'll take it off. 207 00:16:28,840 --> 00:16:30,910 I'll have to tell the Countess. 208 00:16:30,960 --> 00:16:32,950 What? No. Why? 209 00:16:33,000 --> 00:16:35,150 The villa is her entire universe. 210 00:16:35,200 --> 00:16:37,940 She insists on knowing everything. 211 00:16:39,440 --> 00:16:41,590 Please don't dislike me. 212 00:16:41,640 --> 00:16:43,670 I don't dislike you. 213 00:16:43,720 --> 00:16:48,070 But I am the Countess's guard dog, in human form. 214 00:16:48,120 --> 00:16:50,110 You're going to have me sacked. 215 00:16:50,160 --> 00:16:52,150 She decides everything. 216 00:16:52,200 --> 00:16:55,800 That's why it's the Villa Mavrodaki. Not the Villa Dennis. 217 00:16:58,320 --> 00:17:02,670 They've charged him with threatening our local farmer, shooting, 218 00:17:02,720 --> 00:17:04,990 letting our dog savage his turkeys 219 00:17:05,040 --> 00:17:07,030 and failure to pay compensation. 220 00:17:07,080 --> 00:17:09,470 A pack of lies! Is it a pack of lies? 221 00:17:09,520 --> 00:17:11,230 Of course it is. 222 00:17:11,280 --> 00:17:13,470 But he has to appear in court next week. 223 00:17:13,520 --> 00:17:15,510 I need you two to be our lawyers. 224 00:17:15,560 --> 00:17:19,390 Is that wise? We are respectively a biologist and a taxi-driver. 225 00:17:19,440 --> 00:17:22,630 Yes, but between you, you know everything and everyone. 226 00:17:22,680 --> 00:17:25,680 I couldn't find or afford anybody else. 227 00:17:30,760 --> 00:17:33,230 I'm disappointed with you, Margo. 228 00:17:33,280 --> 00:17:35,750 But you seemed so easy-going. 229 00:17:36,800 --> 00:17:39,390 I thought you'd let me try on a dress. 230 00:17:39,440 --> 00:17:41,430 I'd let you try on mine. 231 00:17:41,480 --> 00:17:45,950 I am relieving you of your duties, for gross disobedience. 232 00:17:46,000 --> 00:17:49,100 Do let me stay. My mother would be so sad. 233 00:17:49,360 --> 00:17:51,510 I find adults very confusing. 234 00:17:51,560 --> 00:17:53,040 Go now! 235 00:18:00,680 --> 00:18:03,670 Oh, but you're so serious, my dear. 236 00:18:03,720 --> 00:18:05,670 Your face. 237 00:18:05,720 --> 00:18:07,270 Have the dress. 238 00:18:07,320 --> 00:18:09,460 I hear it becomes you. 239 00:18:10,360 --> 00:18:13,760 Now read to me. We've a whole library to get through. 240 00:18:20,000 --> 00:18:22,270 Oh... No, don't come now. 241 00:18:35,760 --> 00:18:37,750 - Well, speak. - Don't be angry. 242 00:18:37,800 --> 00:18:39,590 I come in peace. 243 00:18:39,640 --> 00:18:40,870 Oh. 244 00:18:40,920 --> 00:18:44,470 So it's OK for you to come and call on me, but not for me to come and call on you. 245 00:18:44,520 --> 00:18:46,310 I apologise. I... 246 00:18:46,360 --> 00:18:48,150 I felt unsure. 247 00:18:48,200 --> 00:18:50,600 Oh, you were feeling unsure? 248 00:18:52,960 --> 00:18:54,950 What are you doing here? 249 00:18:55,000 --> 00:18:57,000 I like it here. 250 00:18:58,040 --> 00:19:00,030 And I like you. 251 00:19:00,080 --> 00:19:02,680 So why do we argue all the time? 252 00:19:03,200 --> 00:19:06,000 Because, as a woman, you get upset. 253 00:19:06,400 --> 00:19:08,140 It's... tiring. 254 00:19:10,000 --> 00:19:13,120 Or, as a man, you don't tell me what you're thinking. 255 00:19:14,200 --> 00:19:16,940 I mean, it is like talking to fog. 256 00:19:17,640 --> 00:19:19,910 What do you want to know? 257 00:19:24,160 --> 00:19:25,950 What's stopping us? 258 00:19:26,000 --> 00:19:28,750 Is it me? Is it my... my children? 259 00:19:28,800 --> 00:19:30,120 No. 260 00:19:31,120 --> 00:19:32,790 I like children, 261 00:19:32,840 --> 00:19:34,580 your children. 262 00:19:36,280 --> 00:19:39,480 But it's true, I'm used to being on my own. 263 00:19:40,880 --> 00:19:43,480 Perhaps change makes me anxious. 264 00:19:50,720 --> 00:19:52,230 Well... 265 00:19:52,280 --> 00:19:55,480 Well, no, that was good. Well, don't stop there! 266 00:20:00,960 --> 00:20:02,960 So it is me. 267 00:20:15,600 --> 00:20:17,200 Oh. Sorry. 268 00:20:24,480 --> 00:20:26,480 Whisky inside. 269 00:20:31,360 --> 00:20:32,950 Locked. 270 00:20:33,000 --> 00:20:34,950 Oh. 271 00:20:35,000 --> 00:20:37,310 - Shoot. - Oh, should we? 272 00:20:37,360 --> 00:20:39,350 I'm supposed to be on bail. 273 00:20:39,400 --> 00:20:41,110 Let's go and play some football... 274 00:20:41,160 --> 00:20:42,670 Shoot. 275 00:20:42,720 --> 00:20:44,720 Or we shoot you. 276 00:21:23,560 --> 00:21:25,630 They're eating the queen. 277 00:21:25,680 --> 00:21:27,270 Oh. How lovely. 278 00:21:27,320 --> 00:21:29,190 This is going to be our burial area. 279 00:21:29,240 --> 00:21:31,670 I had rather expected to be buried in England. 280 00:21:31,720 --> 00:21:33,750 No. I mean, for my bat. 281 00:21:33,800 --> 00:21:35,630 Oh. 282 00:21:35,680 --> 00:21:39,380 Could you please find me a Greek Orthodox priest? 283 00:21:48,760 --> 00:21:50,710 The Countess gave me a dress! 284 00:21:50,760 --> 00:21:53,270 Your job is not job. 285 00:21:53,320 --> 00:21:54,710 This is job. 286 00:21:54,760 --> 00:21:59,150 It's actually hard work reading love stories where the most they do is breathe heavily. 287 00:21:59,200 --> 00:22:00,430 Oh...! 288 00:22:00,480 --> 00:22:02,870 I'm going to snip some pages out. 289 00:22:02,920 --> 00:22:06,270 When did anyone ever really "feel their heart skip a beat"? 290 00:22:06,320 --> 00:22:08,030 - I do. - All the time. 291 00:22:08,080 --> 00:22:10,590 You should read the posh ignoramus my novel. 292 00:22:10,640 --> 00:22:14,430 She's not an ignoramus. She has a huge library. 293 00:22:14,480 --> 00:22:17,470 Ooh, ask her to let me borrow from it. 294 00:22:17,520 --> 00:22:19,350 Oh, you're not so rude now. 295 00:22:19,400 --> 00:22:21,870 - No. - But I've run out of books to read. 296 00:22:21,920 --> 00:22:23,790 You'd better write another one then. 297 00:22:23,840 --> 00:22:27,640 I'm still waiting for the first one to be accepted. 298 00:22:30,560 --> 00:22:32,550 I don't like it when she does that. 299 00:22:32,600 --> 00:22:34,600 No. Nor do I. 300 00:22:49,560 --> 00:22:51,950 Who peed on my shoes? 301 00:22:52,000 --> 00:22:53,720 Your mother. 302 00:22:55,720 --> 00:22:57,710 These were very expensive. 303 00:22:57,760 --> 00:23:00,960 We went on a special trip to London to get them. 304 00:23:03,240 --> 00:23:06,640 I don't think we can be best friends any more. 305 00:23:19,880 --> 00:23:21,550 What do you think? 306 00:23:21,600 --> 00:23:23,150 Oh, my goodness. 307 00:23:23,200 --> 00:23:24,870 That is so beautiful. 308 00:23:24,920 --> 00:23:29,070 Wearing this, I feel like I could do anything and have any man. 309 00:23:29,120 --> 00:23:30,790 Margo! 310 00:23:36,000 --> 00:23:38,000 Oh, Leslie. 311 00:23:41,280 --> 00:23:43,670 Oh, I am so worried about you. 312 00:23:43,720 --> 00:23:45,390 Stop, I'm all right. 313 00:23:45,440 --> 00:23:47,630 What's that smell? 314 00:23:47,680 --> 00:23:49,480 My shoes. 315 00:24:40,400 --> 00:24:42,800 That little bastard Creech! 316 00:24:43,760 --> 00:24:45,430 Mrs Durrell, good morning. 317 00:24:45,480 --> 00:24:47,630 Oh. You. 318 00:24:47,680 --> 00:24:50,790 Your face looked like an overcast day in Bootle, 319 00:24:50,840 --> 00:24:53,240 the last time we met, so... 320 00:24:54,280 --> 00:24:56,590 - I'm off the drink. - Oh. 321 00:24:56,640 --> 00:24:58,630 - Oh. - Lost the beard. 322 00:24:58,680 --> 00:25:00,680 Bought a cravat. Ha! 323 00:25:01,680 --> 00:25:03,220 Thank you. 324 00:25:04,200 --> 00:25:07,030 I'm here to invite you onto my yacht. 325 00:25:07,080 --> 00:25:10,270 Sailing is one of the few things I do well. 326 00:25:10,320 --> 00:25:11,790 Oh. 327 00:25:11,840 --> 00:25:13,390 Ah. 328 00:25:13,440 --> 00:25:16,440 - Didn't he get drunk here and you nearly shot him? - Yes. 329 00:25:16,640 --> 00:25:20,640 Thank you and that reminds me why a trip out with you would be a bad idea. 330 00:25:20,720 --> 00:25:22,310 Mummy, we're starting. 331 00:25:22,360 --> 00:25:24,350 - Ooh! Lunch? - A bat funeral. 332 00:25:24,400 --> 00:25:25,760 Ah. 333 00:25:41,840 --> 00:25:44,640 This is grander than Dad's funeral. 334 00:25:45,200 --> 00:25:47,790 What was Captain Creech doing here? 335 00:25:47,840 --> 00:25:50,190 He was inviting me on his yacht. 336 00:25:50,240 --> 00:25:52,230 I said no. 337 00:25:52,280 --> 00:25:53,870 Say yes! 338 00:25:53,920 --> 00:25:55,910 Stop fretting about Les. 339 00:25:55,960 --> 00:25:57,990 He'll always be a mess. 340 00:25:58,040 --> 00:26:02,110 - Let your hair down. - You have no idea about parenting, do you? 341 00:26:02,160 --> 00:26:05,960 You're supposed to fuss. Idiot! 342 00:26:16,360 --> 00:26:19,350 And Gerry is grieving for this bat, of all things. 343 00:26:19,400 --> 00:26:22,070 Well, it's obviously a displaced sense of loss 344 00:26:22,120 --> 00:26:25,710 and not feeling connected and anxiety for his sibling. 345 00:26:25,760 --> 00:26:27,360 I know that. 346 00:26:28,440 --> 00:26:31,230 I asked Theo to encourage him in the science of it. 347 00:26:31,280 --> 00:26:32,870 Death, life... 348 00:26:32,920 --> 00:26:34,350 compost. 349 00:26:34,400 --> 00:26:36,230 Compost? 350 00:26:36,280 --> 00:26:39,270 But I'm very glad he's developing his spiritual interest, too. 351 00:26:39,320 --> 00:26:41,150 Well, maybe that's what Leslie needs. 352 00:26:41,200 --> 00:26:45,320 Oh, no. He'd take it too far. He'd be frogmarching us all to the church at gunpoint. 353 00:26:46,320 --> 00:26:48,950 Sven goes to the Greek Orthodox Church. He's a dark horse. 354 00:26:49,000 --> 00:26:51,600 I don't want to talk about him. 355 00:26:52,600 --> 00:26:56,280 He started talking. He started opening up about... 356 00:26:57,280 --> 00:27:01,280 .. liking children and, you know, and then he just walked away. 357 00:27:02,680 --> 00:27:08,430 But sod him. Because I have a captain friend who has a big boat that he's taking me out on, on Thursday. 358 00:27:08,480 --> 00:27:11,110 Well, it's good you don't want to talk about him. 359 00:27:11,160 --> 00:27:14,950 In fact, if you could get Sven to come to the harbour when I'm leaving, 360 00:27:15,000 --> 00:27:18,800 I'll get hold of a stunning dress for the occasion. 361 00:27:18,880 --> 00:27:22,580 And I can watch his face as I step off that yacht. 362 00:27:23,080 --> 00:27:25,750 Was that the flicker of interest from him? 363 00:27:25,800 --> 00:27:29,070 Or were they really totally severely in love? 364 00:27:29,120 --> 00:27:31,630 Mrs Durrell to see you, madam. 365 00:27:31,680 --> 00:27:33,270 Sorry to bother you. 366 00:27:33,320 --> 00:27:36,920 Margo left home with a sniffle and I wanted to check she's well. 367 00:27:43,120 --> 00:27:46,150 Oh, by the way, I loved the dress you gave Margo. 368 00:27:46,200 --> 00:27:48,190 You have exquisite taste. 369 00:27:48,240 --> 00:27:49,870 Thank you. 370 00:27:49,920 --> 00:27:52,590 And many, many dresses, I gather. 371 00:27:56,040 --> 00:28:00,200 The truth is, like you, I'm a widow and... well, I'm struggling. 372 00:28:01,720 --> 00:28:04,710 I was wondering if you might have a spare frock for me. 373 00:28:04,760 --> 00:28:06,190 Oh, of course. 374 00:28:06,240 --> 00:28:09,630 I'm sure we can find something for you, can't we, Demetrios? 375 00:28:09,680 --> 00:28:11,350 Dennis. 376 00:28:11,400 --> 00:28:14,270 Pack the purple gown for Mrs Durrell. 377 00:28:25,000 --> 00:28:28,790 Now I know it's rather showy, but what do you think? 378 00:28:28,840 --> 00:28:30,910 Say if it's horrible. 379 00:28:33,320 --> 00:28:34,750 Margo? 380 00:28:34,800 --> 00:28:39,510 I thought I might wear it on Creech's yacht tomorrow. For fun, you know. 381 00:28:39,560 --> 00:28:41,560 Well, yes. Why not? 382 00:28:44,480 --> 00:28:49,480 - I think you'll look nice whatever you wear. - Thank you, darling. 383 00:28:50,240 --> 00:28:53,940 He hasn't got creatures up there as well, has he? 384 00:28:59,680 --> 00:29:03,960 - I couldn't see him. - Oh, well, he can join the others under the floorboards. 385 00:29:06,600 --> 00:29:09,590 You're so generous, Theo. How can I thank you? 386 00:29:09,640 --> 00:29:13,340 The pleasure, as a fellow enthusiast, is all mine. 387 00:29:13,600 --> 00:29:16,600 The ancients embalmed their loved ones. 388 00:29:17,000 --> 00:29:20,270 We could have pickled your bat in formaldehyde. 389 00:29:20,320 --> 00:29:23,120 I think that might scare my family. 390 00:29:24,440 --> 00:29:27,070 Look, Mum, my Centre For Scientific Learning. 391 00:29:27,120 --> 00:29:29,630 You don't need to nag me about education any more. 392 00:29:29,680 --> 00:29:31,830 Excellent. And eight times seven? 393 00:29:31,880 --> 00:29:33,190 Erm... 394 00:29:33,240 --> 00:29:34,630 Is it in the 50s? 395 00:29:34,680 --> 00:29:36,950 Spot on, it's in the 50s. 396 00:29:38,160 --> 00:29:41,350 I hope you're feeling relaxed about Leslie's court case. 397 00:29:41,400 --> 00:29:42,910 Oh, hardly. 398 00:29:42,960 --> 00:29:44,950 It's a shame Leslie isn't one of us. 399 00:29:45,000 --> 00:29:48,990 My delight in molluscs saw me through a bumpy adolescence. 400 00:29:49,040 --> 00:29:52,910 I know, I keep wondering how I could have steered Leslie differently. 401 00:29:52,960 --> 00:29:55,350 Who knows? The experience may do him good. 402 00:29:55,400 --> 00:29:58,880 They say a broken leg grows back stronger than an unbroken one. 403 00:30:04,160 --> 00:30:06,630 You are wearing it on a boat? 404 00:30:06,680 --> 00:30:08,760 It's a yacht. Ooh. 405 00:30:10,960 --> 00:30:12,900 Stop staring at it. 406 00:30:29,200 --> 00:30:30,790 Oh, no. 407 00:30:30,840 --> 00:30:32,180 Really? 408 00:30:33,040 --> 00:30:35,040 That's a yacht? 409 00:30:38,840 --> 00:30:41,580 Oh, I can't let the old fool down. 410 00:30:47,120 --> 00:30:50,710 So now you're not speaking. What's the matter? 411 00:30:50,760 --> 00:30:53,390 I'm... I'm very drunk. 412 00:30:53,440 --> 00:30:54,950 What? 413 00:30:55,000 --> 00:30:56,390 Why? 414 00:30:56,440 --> 00:30:58,430 Why did you get drunk? 415 00:30:58,480 --> 00:31:02,310 The sea... It's a bloody death-trap! 416 00:31:02,360 --> 00:31:04,870 I've seen too much. 417 00:31:04,920 --> 00:31:06,910 Since I retired... 418 00:31:06,960 --> 00:31:08,900 it... it haunts me. 419 00:31:12,240 --> 00:31:14,150 Take me back to shore. 420 00:31:14,200 --> 00:31:15,870 - Right now! - No. 421 00:31:15,920 --> 00:31:17,630 I know some sea shanties -- 422 00:31:17,680 --> 00:31:20,680 You dare sing one sea shanty and I'll... 423 00:31:20,800 --> 00:31:22,790 You... give me that. 424 00:31:22,840 --> 00:31:25,190 Give me that tiller right now! 425 00:31:25,240 --> 00:31:27,510 Oh, do you know how to sail? 426 00:31:27,560 --> 00:31:29,910 No. No, I can't sail! 427 00:31:29,960 --> 00:31:33,470 But I'm a helluva lot more competent than you are at this moment! 428 00:31:33,520 --> 00:31:34,750 Ah. 429 00:31:34,800 --> 00:31:36,800 Ohh! 430 00:31:38,360 --> 00:31:40,150 - Good. - Aah! 431 00:31:40,200 --> 00:31:41,990 Help! 432 00:31:42,040 --> 00:31:44,590 - I can't swim! - You silly, silly man! 433 00:31:44,640 --> 00:31:46,240 Aah! 434 00:31:47,800 --> 00:31:49,790 You'll like this one. 435 00:31:49,840 --> 00:31:53,750 ♪ O Blodwyn was a Welsh girl, she came from Cardiff city... 436 00:31:53,800 --> 00:31:56,790 This was my chance to feel attractive. 437 00:31:56,840 --> 00:31:59,150 And not just like a bad mother! 438 00:31:59,200 --> 00:32:03,070 - ♪ .. though she only had one titty! ♪ - Thanks for nothing! 439 00:32:03,120 --> 00:32:06,670 Don't go! We're having such a nice day. 440 00:32:06,720 --> 00:32:09,830 This is terrible. Don't let Louisa see you here. 441 00:32:09,880 --> 00:32:12,620 No. I have to offer my sympathies. 442 00:32:30,720 --> 00:32:33,520 If you say anything nice, I'll cry. 443 00:32:56,800 --> 00:33:00,120 So, is nobody going to tell me how Mother's yacht trip went? 444 00:33:04,200 --> 00:33:08,270 The good news is that, if you're put in jail, you'll be with my friend Kosti. 445 00:33:08,320 --> 00:33:11,270 He's not going to jail. It's a ridiculous trumped-up charge. 446 00:33:11,320 --> 00:33:14,470 This is Corfu. Anything's possible. 447 00:33:14,520 --> 00:33:17,120 Isn't that why we like it here? 448 00:33:38,840 --> 00:33:42,990 This innocent young Englishman should not be standing here today. 449 00:33:43,040 --> 00:33:48,190 Not so innocent. Before, he was in my police cell after a drunken brawl! 450 00:33:48,240 --> 00:33:52,520 - Well, who among us has not been arrested for drunken brawling? - Exactly. 451 00:33:55,280 --> 00:33:57,630 He always carries a gun with him! 452 00:33:57,680 --> 00:34:00,680 Mr Durrell, is it true you carry guns? 453 00:34:01,760 --> 00:34:03,190 Yes. 454 00:34:03,240 --> 00:34:04,590 Why? 455 00:34:04,640 --> 00:34:08,390 Because the world is a dangerous place, Judge. 456 00:34:08,440 --> 00:34:11,560 Do you not make it more dangerous? 457 00:34:23,560 --> 00:34:26,360 In English, please. The defendant -- 458 00:34:36,360 --> 00:34:39,270 Leslie isn't gifted or nuanced, 459 00:34:39,320 --> 00:34:42,590 but he has got a kind of visceral doggedness. 460 00:34:42,640 --> 00:34:44,750 Paradoxically, he loathes dogs. 461 00:34:44,800 --> 00:34:47,870 So he wouldn't go killing turkeys with Gerry's dog. 462 00:34:47,920 --> 00:34:52,080 No. Leslie is far more likely to shoot the turkeys... 463 00:34:55,160 --> 00:34:56,900 .. on his own. 464 00:34:59,560 --> 00:35:03,470 If my client killed your turkeys, as you say, where are the carcasses? 465 00:35:09,240 --> 00:35:12,150 He disposed of them. 466 00:35:12,200 --> 00:35:15,750 You are wasting the time of the court if you have no evidence. 467 00:35:15,800 --> 00:35:17,270 Excellent point. 468 00:35:17,320 --> 00:35:18,860 Thank you. 469 00:35:24,880 --> 00:35:27,880 Leslie was living with Sotos and Fotis. 470 00:35:31,800 --> 00:35:34,800 Leslie was the one who shot off the lock. 471 00:35:37,600 --> 00:35:39,710 Order! Sit down. 472 00:35:39,760 --> 00:35:42,630 He's an armed robber. 473 00:35:47,120 --> 00:35:49,660 These are serious allegations. 474 00:35:50,560 --> 00:35:52,960 We will come back tomorrow. 475 00:35:59,920 --> 00:36:02,320 It wasn't an armed robbery. 476 00:36:03,800 --> 00:36:08,070 Except, I suppose, strictly speaking, I was armed and we did rob somewhere. 477 00:36:08,120 --> 00:36:09,790 Oh, Leslie! 478 00:36:09,840 --> 00:36:12,350 We only stole booze, we didn't shoot anybody. 479 00:36:12,400 --> 00:36:16,070 Theo says the law here is that you will go to jail if found guilty. 480 00:36:16,120 --> 00:36:19,190 Sotos and Fotis made me. I couldn't look like a coward. 481 00:36:19,240 --> 00:36:23,150 Lots of people have gone to jail for their beliefs -- Oscar Wilde, Voltaire, 482 00:36:23,200 --> 00:36:25,230 Crazy Horse, the Sioux Indian chief. 483 00:36:25,280 --> 00:36:27,670 I don't believe in stealing cheap Greek whisky. 484 00:36:27,720 --> 00:36:29,230 Stop it! 485 00:36:29,280 --> 00:36:31,270 Why did I bring us here? 486 00:36:31,320 --> 00:36:34,420 It could have happened to Leslie anywhere. 487 00:36:36,160 --> 00:36:38,160 Where are you going? 488 00:36:47,120 --> 00:36:49,060 It's about Leslie. 489 00:36:50,600 --> 00:36:52,590 I've no right to ask 490 00:36:52,640 --> 00:36:54,630 and... erm... 491 00:36:54,680 --> 00:36:57,870 .. well, you could argue that my son is no better than you, 492 00:36:57,920 --> 00:37:00,310 but he is barely an adult. 493 00:37:00,360 --> 00:37:03,630 And if you could say that he wasn't involved in the robbery, 494 00:37:03,680 --> 00:37:07,350 if you could do the noble thing and be lenient with him, then... 495 00:37:07,400 --> 00:37:09,190 well, then... 496 00:37:09,240 --> 00:37:12,740 then maybe the judge would be lenient with you. 497 00:37:14,800 --> 00:37:16,600 Maybe. 498 00:37:27,560 --> 00:37:30,660 You're probably not allowed tins, are you? 499 00:38:20,480 --> 00:38:22,680 - Kalimera. - Kalimera. 500 00:38:30,200 --> 00:38:32,790 I am dismissing this case. 501 00:38:32,840 --> 00:38:36,430 The defendant Leslie Durrell is clearly blameless. 502 00:38:36,480 --> 00:38:41,350 The plaintiff shall give to the defendant six of his best turkeys in compensation. 503 00:38:41,400 --> 00:38:44,320 Everyone is dismissed. 504 00:38:45,960 --> 00:38:51,080 Except the Durrell family and legal representatives. 505 00:38:58,080 --> 00:39:01,670 You are implicated in a more serious crime, 506 00:39:01,720 --> 00:39:04,710 the armed robbery of the storehouse. 507 00:39:04,760 --> 00:39:06,750 - Let me say this -- - No. 508 00:39:06,800 --> 00:39:09,790 However, the co-accused, Sotos and Fotis, 509 00:39:09,840 --> 00:39:12,750 now claim that they acted alone. 510 00:39:12,800 --> 00:39:15,070 For whatever reason. 511 00:39:15,120 --> 00:39:18,120 So there is no case to answer. 512 00:39:19,000 --> 00:39:23,550 But he is at the top of a slippery slope. 513 00:39:23,600 --> 00:39:25,880 Don't let him fall. 514 00:39:37,720 --> 00:39:40,470 You see? Worry, it's overrated! 515 00:39:40,520 --> 00:39:43,630 No. Apparently, worry and parenthood are inseparable. 516 00:39:43,680 --> 00:39:46,280 I am going to sleep for a week! 517 00:39:49,680 --> 00:39:53,080 Right. Everybody back to the house for supper. 518 00:39:55,040 --> 00:39:57,840 Nothing wrong with English cooking. 519 00:40:04,880 --> 00:40:06,670 Spiro, thank you. 520 00:40:06,720 --> 00:40:08,430 For your legal expertise. 521 00:40:08,480 --> 00:40:11,270 I think we know it was you who made the difference. 522 00:40:11,320 --> 00:40:13,590 I don't know what you mean. 523 00:40:13,640 --> 00:40:17,120 You sold your wedding ring to bribe those two thugs. 524 00:40:18,280 --> 00:40:20,550 Well, I offered shortbread. 525 00:40:20,600 --> 00:40:23,720 But it seems the modern criminal expects more. 526 00:40:37,120 --> 00:40:39,120 Don't ask. 527 00:40:55,640 --> 00:40:57,240 Leslie. 528 00:41:09,080 --> 00:41:11,830 Mother! My first proper wages. 529 00:41:11,880 --> 00:41:14,270 I'm going to invest in a feather boa. 530 00:41:14,320 --> 00:41:17,060 Well, everybody has to contribute. 531 00:41:17,840 --> 00:41:19,310 So... 532 00:41:19,360 --> 00:41:21,830 invest in half a feather boa. 533 00:41:22,560 --> 00:41:24,550 That is outrageous. 534 00:41:24,600 --> 00:41:26,910 How is the reclusive Countess, Margo? 535 00:41:26,960 --> 00:41:31,400 I may be missing something, but I find her rather sweet and jolly. 536 00:41:33,920 --> 00:41:35,790 - Where are you going? - I'm not telling you. 537 00:41:35,840 --> 00:41:38,830 But not the lavatory, in case you get any ideas. 538 00:41:38,880 --> 00:41:40,680 Ha ha ha. 539 00:41:52,000 --> 00:41:53,280 Oh. 540 00:41:54,040 --> 00:41:56,030 There's something I want to say. 541 00:41:56,080 --> 00:41:58,750 Gerry, I know I complain about your creatures, 542 00:41:58,800 --> 00:42:02,230 but, well, you're serious about this animal business, aren't you? 543 00:42:02,280 --> 00:42:03,960 Yes, I am. 544 00:42:09,200 --> 00:42:13,280 - Didn't we bury that? - Yes, but I changed my mind and dug it up and stuffed it. 545 00:42:13,360 --> 00:42:15,830 - Oh. - First, you remove the skin, 546 00:42:15,880 --> 00:42:19,680 then you rub non-iodised salt on it, then you take the head and you... 547 00:42:23,040 --> 00:42:25,030 I want you to have my dress. 548 00:42:25,080 --> 00:42:26,670 Oh, Margo. 549 00:42:26,720 --> 00:42:28,310 I can't. 550 00:42:28,360 --> 00:42:30,360 It's yours. 551 00:42:41,080 --> 00:42:43,080 Is it bat? 552 00:42:52,000 --> 00:42:54,630 Theo, would you like to say grace? 553 00:42:54,680 --> 00:42:56,880 Oh, yes, yes, of course. 554 00:43:03,640 --> 00:43:05,640 I added a beard. 555 00:43:14,600 --> 00:43:18,760 Lady Marchmont glimpsed Lord Tim in the distance. 556 00:43:19,840 --> 00:43:23,340 Was that the flicker of interest from him or... 557 00:43:24,320 --> 00:43:26,310 Do I have to read this? 558 00:43:26,360 --> 00:43:29,360 You do, if you want to borrow any books. 559 00:43:31,680 --> 00:43:35,270 She felt hot in places she'd never felt hot before -- 560 00:43:35,320 --> 00:43:37,460 Don't make anything up. 561 00:43:40,120 --> 00:43:43,950 .. seeking ventilation, she went onto her beloved veranda 562 00:43:44,000 --> 00:43:45,990 and played with her pooch Leonard, 563 00:43:46,040 --> 00:43:49,480 who had always provided a distraction in times of crisis. 564 00:43:54,800 --> 00:43:56,400 So... 565 00:43:58,040 --> 00:44:00,030 Leslie, what's that? 566 00:44:00,080 --> 00:44:03,200 - Hm? - Darling, behind your back. - A stick. 567 00:44:07,560 --> 00:44:09,630 Just a bit of night shooting, that's all. 568 00:44:09,680 --> 00:44:12,480 What will it take for you to learn? 569 00:44:30,360 --> 00:44:31,840 No. 570 00:44:45,400 --> 00:44:47,400 What a week. 571 00:44:48,400 --> 00:44:50,390 I'm sorry about my little wobble. 572 00:44:50,440 --> 00:44:53,240 No, I've checked. You don't wobble. 573 00:45:25,240 --> 00:45:27,240 That's better. 574 00:45:39,080 --> 00:45:41,950 However long you stare at it, they're still coming. 575 00:45:42,000 --> 00:45:44,110 It might be nice to have some visitors. 576 00:45:44,160 --> 00:45:45,870 Please be nice to us. 577 00:45:45,920 --> 00:45:48,470 This is no place to bring up a family. 578 00:45:48,520 --> 00:45:51,520 I'm not God, but "let there be light"'! 579 00:45:52,160 --> 00:45:55,600 - Aah! - What is that noise? - Larry. Stubbing his toe. 580 00:45:56,600 --> 00:45:58,070 Slow down! 581 00:45:58,120 --> 00:46:01,830 - I will always respect your honour. - Let's not worry too much about that.