1 00:00:04,860 --> 00:00:07,750 Dear Aunt Hermione, I hope Belgium was good 2 00:00:07,800 --> 00:00:10,610 and this letter reaches you safely in Dijon. 3 00:00:10,760 --> 00:00:13,040 Mmmmm. Mustard! 4 00:00:14,400 --> 00:00:18,110 We are all happy. Larry is writing his third novel 5 00:00:18,160 --> 00:00:21,950 which is more than Leslie has read. And Les has a girlfriend, Daphne. 6 00:00:22,000 --> 00:00:25,950 But won't let us meet her. Margo had ditched her boyfriend, Zoltan, 7 00:00:26,000 --> 00:00:28,230 because we begged her to. 8 00:00:28,280 --> 00:00:32,680 And Gerry, as ever, prefers his animal family to his human one. 9 00:00:33,640 --> 00:00:36,790 I have given up searching for love. 10 00:00:36,840 --> 00:00:40,470 So, will all my new free time, I'm thinking of learning the harp. 11 00:00:40,520 --> 00:00:43,920 Or getting a cello between my legs. 12 00:00:46,960 --> 00:00:48,800 Time just for me. 13 00:00:50,000 --> 00:00:52,000 It is gorgeous here. 14 00:01:03,920 --> 00:01:06,600 - I can see it, Gerry. - He followed me. 15 00:01:08,000 --> 00:01:11,070 - Infuriating. - That's what you said about most of them. 16 00:01:11,120 --> 00:01:13,470 Scorpions don't follow people home. 17 00:01:13,520 --> 00:01:17,710 I have nobody. I feel like a dog without an owner. 18 00:01:17,760 --> 00:01:19,870 You are a terrific young woman, Margo. 19 00:01:19,920 --> 00:01:21,710 You don't need someone to own you. 20 00:01:21,760 --> 00:01:23,870 Thank you, lonely spinster. 21 00:01:23,920 --> 00:01:28,470 - I am neither. I'm a busy widow. - Ugh! Even worse (!) - Look at this letter! 22 00:01:28,520 --> 00:01:31,270 - Aarghhhhh! - Agh! 23 00:01:31,320 --> 00:01:34,990 I think I heard a crack. Endless sorry animals. 24 00:01:35,040 --> 00:01:37,750 - I've broken my leg! - Unlikely, darling. 25 00:01:37,800 --> 00:01:39,990 I just wrote to my aunt that we're all happy. 26 00:01:40,040 --> 00:01:43,350 - Argh! - Where's Leslie? - Oh, I'll show you. 27 00:01:43,400 --> 00:01:45,200 Arrghhhhhhh! 28 00:01:49,560 --> 00:01:53,470 Well, life hasn't showered Leslie with gifts. 29 00:01:53,520 --> 00:01:55,750 He's allowed a girlfriend. 30 00:01:55,800 --> 00:01:57,790 So, that's Daphne. 31 00:01:57,840 --> 00:02:00,710 - Hello, Daphne! - No. No. No. No. It's not her. 32 00:02:00,760 --> 00:02:05,190 He's got three girls. I found these in his secret nook. 33 00:02:05,240 --> 00:02:08,230 He's made the mistake of photographing his victims. 34 00:02:08,280 --> 00:02:11,030 - So what do you expect me to do about it? - I dunno. 35 00:02:12,640 --> 00:02:14,640 Oh. Nice cardie. 36 00:02:16,160 --> 00:02:18,360 Oh, God. They look like trouble. 37 00:03:07,000 --> 00:03:10,910 Well, tell your publisher that you won't use a pseudonym. 38 00:03:10,960 --> 00:03:12,470 I've got no choice. 39 00:03:12,520 --> 00:03:15,510 My last novel did so badly my name is commercial leprosy. 40 00:03:15,560 --> 00:03:19,190 A pseudonym is when you use a name that isn't yours because... 41 00:03:19,240 --> 00:03:23,350 I know what a pseudonym is. Don't confuse boredom with ignorance. 42 00:03:23,400 --> 00:03:26,880 - Oh, please, Margo. Get a ruddy hobby. - Evening. 43 00:03:29,080 --> 00:03:32,630 Is it true you have THREE girlfriends? 44 00:03:32,680 --> 00:03:36,350 - Yes, it is. - And do they all know about each other? 45 00:03:36,400 --> 00:03:40,350 - No, they don't. - I can't help thinking one would be simpler. 46 00:03:40,400 --> 00:03:42,710 This makes up for all the time I had no girlfriends. 47 00:03:42,760 --> 00:03:45,630 If you average it out, I have one girlfriend. 48 00:03:45,680 --> 00:03:47,790 Lots of animals mate for life. 49 00:03:47,840 --> 00:03:50,110 - Yeah, that's what I'm going for. - Me too. 50 00:03:50,160 --> 00:03:53,110 He doesn't mean they mate constantly throughout their life. 51 00:03:53,160 --> 00:03:56,870 Have only one mate their whole life. Otters, penguins, the prairie vole. 52 00:03:56,920 --> 00:03:59,310 No, I'm not a prairie vole. I'm me. 53 00:03:59,360 --> 00:04:02,590 It would be nice to meet your friends. Oh, no. No. 54 00:04:02,640 --> 00:04:04,990 - I don't want you sticking your oar in. - Hermione will. 55 00:04:05,040 --> 00:04:07,710 - She's coming back. - It's weed on you. 56 00:04:07,760 --> 00:04:10,430 She's coming back again? Why? 57 00:04:10,480 --> 00:04:14,760 Warmth. Renewal. Her friend Mr Anestis. 58 00:04:15,960 --> 00:04:19,920 In fact, she's planning to stay permanently. 59 00:04:39,360 --> 00:04:44,470 My niece Dionisia is Leslie girlfriend. Soon, he will be family. 60 00:04:44,520 --> 00:04:48,830 I'm afraid you're jumping ahead. Leslie is seeing three girls. 61 00:04:48,880 --> 00:04:50,560 - Three? - Aaghhhh! 62 00:04:52,560 --> 00:04:55,910 - Do you really think it's broken? - Yes. 63 00:04:55,960 --> 00:04:58,600 All right. I'll fetch the doctor. 64 00:05:02,040 --> 00:05:04,830 - As you insist, I've chosen a hobby. - Oh, good. 65 00:05:04,880 --> 00:05:06,750 Making sculptures out of soap. 66 00:05:06,800 --> 00:05:10,030 - What? - Well, it seems stupid but so do a lot of things. 67 00:05:10,080 --> 00:05:13,440 Like hockey and feet. And testicles. 68 00:05:18,840 --> 00:05:21,270 Is that the same flamingo? 69 00:05:21,320 --> 00:05:22,360 Yes. 70 00:05:29,320 --> 00:05:31,910 Oh, dear. Ah! Florence. 71 00:05:31,960 --> 00:05:35,790 - It's actually your husband I wanted to see. - Hold this. 72 00:05:35,840 --> 00:05:36,540 Oh. 73 00:05:42,560 --> 00:05:46,150 Little Adonis. Isn't he a sweetie? 74 00:05:46,200 --> 00:05:50,030 Fatuous bloody name! Not so much Adonis more a Dennis! 75 00:05:50,080 --> 00:05:53,040 No, he's... He's bonnie. 76 00:05:54,160 --> 00:05:56,910 Leslie was a monstrous troll of a baby. 77 00:05:56,960 --> 00:05:59,000 And he's not exactly Clark Gable now! 78 00:06:01,000 --> 00:06:03,510 Look, Florence it will get easier. 79 00:06:03,560 --> 00:06:05,720 You've waited so long for this baby. 80 00:06:07,680 --> 00:06:09,870 - So, what's happened to Larry? - Well... 81 00:06:09,920 --> 00:06:13,520 He thinks he's fractured his leg tripping over the dog. 82 00:06:16,080 --> 00:06:18,590 They kept him quiet for all of three seconds. 83 00:06:18,640 --> 00:06:20,510 These might be a bit sharp. 84 00:06:20,560 --> 00:06:25,590 Oh, boo hoo. Well, I can't help. My husband's in Kavos. 85 00:06:25,640 --> 00:06:28,550 They have a backlog of cases. Dr Frangos is working. 86 00:06:28,600 --> 00:06:30,910 I'm a better doctor than Dr Frangos. 87 00:06:30,960 --> 00:06:33,110 Larry needs an X-ray more than a doctor. 88 00:06:33,160 --> 00:06:36,390 - And where could he get one of those? - Athens. Naples. 89 00:06:36,440 --> 00:06:39,310 - Turn left out of the house. Try Istanbul. - This is ridiculous. 90 00:06:39,360 --> 00:06:44,030 Yes, it is. But Larry is no stranger to accidents and illnesses. 91 00:06:44,080 --> 00:06:46,830 - He obviously likes the attention. - You may not be interested 92 00:06:46,880 --> 00:06:48,910 in being a good parent but I am. 93 00:06:48,960 --> 00:06:50,950 So I'll try another way. 94 00:06:51,000 --> 00:06:53,270 And I'm sorry you don't think Leslie's handsome 95 00:06:53,320 --> 00:06:55,320 but he has three girlfriends. 96 00:06:57,440 --> 00:07:01,400 - Do you have any remedies for excess libido? - Childbirth. 97 00:07:20,680 --> 00:07:23,990 Mrs Durrell. Founder of a dynasty. What a pleasure. 98 00:07:24,040 --> 00:07:27,670 How delightful to find someone who isn't grumpy or cross with me. 99 00:07:27,720 --> 00:07:31,110 Oh, yes. There's lots of crossness. Even on a Greek island. 100 00:07:31,160 --> 00:07:34,110 Because they have no thermocyclops to keep them happy. 101 00:07:34,160 --> 00:07:36,110 Oh. He's in here, is he? 102 00:07:36,160 --> 00:07:38,950 Several hundred of them. It's more of a soup, really. 103 00:07:39,000 --> 00:07:42,390 Hmm. But it's Larry I'm here about. 104 00:07:42,440 --> 00:07:46,070 - He suspects he's broken his leg. - Oh, dear. 105 00:07:46,120 --> 00:07:49,390 Florence can't help and well, there's no backup. 106 00:07:49,440 --> 00:07:51,510 You have medical training. What can I do? 107 00:07:51,560 --> 00:07:54,990 I'd love to help but I didn't qualify as a doctor. 108 00:07:55,040 --> 00:07:59,640 Besides, who else will monitor the thermocyclops and other copepods? 109 00:08:00,880 --> 00:08:04,400 Well, that's one defective son. On to the next. 110 00:08:09,720 --> 00:08:12,720 - Hello, Spiros. - Mrs Durrells. 111 00:08:16,880 --> 00:08:18,870 - Home? - Yes, please. 112 00:08:18,920 --> 00:08:21,230 I would walk but I have a favour to ask. 113 00:08:21,280 --> 00:08:25,430 - Anything. - This is one occasion where I wish I had a husband. 114 00:08:25,480 --> 00:08:27,360 Or, at least, Leslie had a father. 115 00:08:29,760 --> 00:08:33,440 Would you explain to him why it's wrong to be promiscuous? 116 00:08:34,960 --> 00:08:37,710 That mating with too many ladies? 117 00:08:37,760 --> 00:08:41,350 Erm... yes. But we tend to say 'mating' only for animals. 118 00:08:41,400 --> 00:08:43,400 Hm. What would you say? 119 00:08:46,360 --> 00:08:48,680 I don't know. 120 00:08:53,000 --> 00:08:55,800 Leslie, Spiros would like a word. 121 00:09:00,440 --> 00:09:03,350 Gerry, I said no more. 122 00:09:03,400 --> 00:09:05,910 We don't have the food or the room. 123 00:09:05,960 --> 00:09:08,310 - I'm sorry, I'm going to release one. - No! 124 00:09:08,360 --> 00:09:12,200 I'm researching if their colour will change if they alter their diet. 125 00:09:25,640 --> 00:09:29,590 At your age, with the girls, I was like a cat in a mouse house. 126 00:09:29,640 --> 00:09:31,630 Happy times. 127 00:09:31,680 --> 00:09:34,710 Were yours pretty? Mine are so pretty. 128 00:09:34,760 --> 00:09:37,670 Ha-ha. Yes. One was incredibly... 129 00:09:37,720 --> 00:09:39,430 What's the word? Er... 130 00:09:39,480 --> 00:09:41,470 - Busty. - Oh, yeah. Yeah. Busty. 131 00:09:41,520 --> 00:09:44,430 - I can't tell you how busty. - Are you sure you can't? 132 00:09:46,520 --> 00:09:50,230 Enjoy it. Enjoy it while you can b... 133 00:09:50,280 --> 00:09:53,270 .. Because... erm... 134 00:09:53,320 --> 00:09:56,560 So, to recap... What are you doing? Huh? 135 00:09:57,560 --> 00:09:59,840 The love of one good woman... 136 00:10:01,320 --> 00:10:05,280 .. is nice and... 137 00:10:06,360 --> 00:10:08,670 Pelican tart, for supper. 138 00:10:08,720 --> 00:10:11,190 And Gerry will be releasing some of his pets. 139 00:10:11,240 --> 00:10:13,750 Please do the same... Leslie. 140 00:10:13,800 --> 00:10:15,800 Or I will. 141 00:10:27,420 --> 00:10:29,810 I'm buying more goats from Sven. 142 00:10:29,860 --> 00:10:32,130 Their cheese always does well. 143 00:10:32,180 --> 00:10:34,170 But we need to sell more. 144 00:10:34,220 --> 00:10:36,740 Whoa. It's boring being paupers. 145 00:10:37,300 --> 00:10:39,290 I'd love a porpoise. 146 00:10:39,340 --> 00:10:43,530 So, I'm putting you in charge of animal produce. 147 00:10:43,580 --> 00:10:47,380 That way, you'll be among animals but useful ones. 148 00:10:48,740 --> 00:10:53,210 - Still no milk from her? - No. - Look, Sven loves his goats. 149 00:10:53,260 --> 00:10:55,850 But when they come to the end of their working lives... 150 00:10:55,900 --> 00:10:58,570 We don's slaughter people who retire. 151 00:10:58,620 --> 00:11:02,170 Animals aren't people and you merrily eat meat someone has killed. 152 00:11:02,220 --> 00:11:04,530 You're right. From now on, I'm a vegetarian. 153 00:11:04,580 --> 00:11:07,570 - Gerry, I am NOT cooking two different meals. - Theo! 154 00:11:07,620 --> 00:11:11,170 Mrs Durrell, Professor Durrell... 155 00:11:11,220 --> 00:11:14,530 I've brought you a leopard spotted gecko. 156 00:11:14,580 --> 00:11:17,610 Found in a crate of Indian mangoes. 157 00:11:17,660 --> 00:11:19,650 Thank you. Look at that. 158 00:11:19,700 --> 00:11:21,690 I'll see if I can milk it. 159 00:11:21,740 --> 00:11:24,010 So we can make some money (!) 160 00:11:24,060 --> 00:11:26,330 I just wanted a word with your mother. 161 00:11:26,380 --> 00:11:27,730 Hm. 162 00:11:27,780 --> 00:11:32,250 Our chat earlier sparked a crisis of conscience in me. 163 00:11:32,300 --> 00:11:34,690 Am I more useful improving health in Corfu 164 00:11:34,740 --> 00:11:36,730 than scrutinising molluscs? 165 00:11:36,780 --> 00:11:38,770 Yes, you are. 166 00:11:38,820 --> 00:11:43,250 - Of course, molluscs are vital links in the complex chain of life. - Hm. 167 00:11:43,300 --> 00:11:46,170 I don't care. But what will you do? 168 00:11:46,220 --> 00:11:48,730 I have an idea of how to help Larry. 169 00:11:48,780 --> 00:11:52,660 - I'm going to the mainland to investigate. - Thank you, Theo. 170 00:11:53,660 --> 00:11:57,810 Across Europe Auntie strides, like the Mongol hordes. 171 00:11:57,860 --> 00:12:00,140 But wearing more talcum powder. 172 00:12:03,620 --> 00:12:06,570 - What's your sculpture of? - Wouldn't you like to know? 173 00:12:06,620 --> 00:12:11,300 Yes. I'm agog to know what you're making out of shards of old soap (!) 174 00:12:12,660 --> 00:12:14,650 Which pseudonym do you prefer? 175 00:12:14,700 --> 00:12:18,210 Hieronymous Schmoop or Tom Orange? 176 00:12:18,260 --> 00:12:21,170 It depends. Do you want to sound like a pretentious ponce 177 00:12:21,220 --> 00:12:23,210 or a simpleton? 178 00:12:23,260 --> 00:12:25,900 - Pretentious ponce. - Oh. 179 00:12:27,660 --> 00:12:31,930 - You remember which of your stable of ladies you're meeting? - Yes. 180 00:12:31,980 --> 00:12:34,940 - You can't keep all three. - Well, I can. 181 00:12:36,380 --> 00:12:38,370 Tell us why you like each one. 182 00:12:38,420 --> 00:12:41,450 Well, Daphne's so confident. 183 00:12:41,500 --> 00:12:44,330 Sometimes me and her have a right old shouting match. 184 00:12:44,380 --> 00:12:46,650 Tsanta is really gentle and kind. 185 00:12:46,700 --> 00:12:49,450 And Dionisia made us laugh so much once we wet ourselves. 186 00:12:49,500 --> 00:12:52,020 She is such fun. 187 00:12:52,700 --> 00:12:56,050 I know it's hard to find one person who gives you everything but... 188 00:12:56,100 --> 00:12:58,100 Yeah, exactly. 189 00:13:09,380 --> 00:13:11,490 You managed to get up the stairs, then? 190 00:13:11,540 --> 00:13:13,900 If you hadn't hidden the booze, I'd have danced up. 191 00:13:16,500 --> 00:13:19,370 How did I not know Leslie has been accumulating girlfriends? 192 00:13:19,420 --> 00:13:22,730 Oh, we all need secrets. I've got some absolute humdingers. 193 00:13:22,780 --> 00:13:24,770 Well, yes, but you're not Les. 194 00:13:24,820 --> 00:13:27,410 He needs special care. 195 00:13:27,460 --> 00:13:30,410 Ideally, I'd spend all day with him. Like a bodyguard. 196 00:13:30,460 --> 00:13:32,650 Five yards behind pointing out hazards. 197 00:13:32,700 --> 00:13:35,290 He has three girlfriends not three landmines! 198 00:13:35,340 --> 00:13:37,970 They're people. He's not good with people. 199 00:13:38,020 --> 00:13:40,570 He is good with things. 200 00:13:40,620 --> 00:13:43,570 Yes, he's very good with things. 201 00:13:43,620 --> 00:13:46,370 All parents have one child that they fear for. 202 00:13:46,420 --> 00:13:49,210 You know, the one who gets bitten or rejected. 203 00:13:49,260 --> 00:13:51,770 Or the one who chooses bad friends. 204 00:13:51,820 --> 00:13:53,810 Or falls off Bournemouth Pier. 205 00:13:53,860 --> 00:13:56,670 Please try not to get involved. 206 00:13:57,020 --> 00:13:58,730 Well, what am I here for? 207 00:13:58,780 --> 00:14:03,850 He's heading for disaster. It's his first ballet class all over again. 208 00:14:03,900 --> 00:14:06,930 - You're going to tell him who to pick. - Oh, I would never do that. 209 00:14:06,980 --> 00:14:09,610 What are you planning, then? 210 00:14:09,660 --> 00:14:11,940 To protect my most vulnerable child. 211 00:14:14,020 --> 00:14:18,250 I've forgiven you for acting like Jack The Lad with Leslie 212 00:14:18,300 --> 00:14:20,290 because I'm afraid I need your help again. 213 00:14:20,340 --> 00:14:24,690 Mrs Durrells, I love to help and your family gives me many chances. 214 00:14:24,740 --> 00:14:29,010 I now know the names and whereabouts of his three girlfriends. 215 00:14:29,060 --> 00:14:31,370 So we're going to go and find out what they're like. 216 00:14:31,420 --> 00:14:36,450 - Why? - Well, Leslie has a history of making bad choices. 217 00:14:36,500 --> 00:14:40,090 Well, I can't bear to watch him do it again and have his heart broken. 218 00:14:40,140 --> 00:14:44,300 I remember his first girlfriend cheated on him. 219 00:14:46,220 --> 00:14:48,210 He sobbed into my arms. 220 00:14:48,260 --> 00:14:50,970 I wanted to kill her. 221 00:14:51,020 --> 00:14:52,890 Is this his revenge? 222 00:14:52,940 --> 00:14:54,930 No. It's love of women. 223 00:14:54,980 --> 00:14:56,970 I can think of bigger sins. 224 00:15:05,620 --> 00:15:10,850 Is this the one who laughs with Leslie till they wet themselves? 225 00:15:10,900 --> 00:15:15,050 No, that's Dionisia. And once. I don't think it's a regular thing. 226 00:15:15,100 --> 00:15:17,460 - Kalimera. - Kalimera. 227 00:15:18,300 --> 00:15:20,370 - Daphne? - Yes. 228 00:15:20,420 --> 00:15:22,410 I'm your friend Leslie's mother. 229 00:15:22,460 --> 00:15:25,330 He mentioned you and we were passing. 230 00:15:25,380 --> 00:15:27,370 I wondered if you'd seen him. 231 00:15:27,420 --> 00:15:29,330 I think you come to see how I look. 232 00:15:29,380 --> 00:15:31,370 Very confident. 233 00:15:31,420 --> 00:15:34,570 Oh, no. Besides, who cares about looks? 234 00:15:34,620 --> 00:15:36,610 I do. 235 00:15:36,660 --> 00:15:39,330 Actually, I do too. 236 00:15:39,380 --> 00:15:43,130 Leslie looks strong but he's surprisingly delicate. 237 00:15:43,180 --> 00:15:45,810 No, he's not. You're wrong. 238 00:15:45,860 --> 00:15:47,890 Have you met Spiros? 239 00:15:47,940 --> 00:15:49,940 Yes. 240 00:16:05,720 --> 00:16:07,210 Aunt Hermione doesn't dawdle, does she? 241 00:16:07,260 --> 00:16:08,560 Look, she's reached Venice. 242 00:16:09,420 --> 00:16:12,690 Maybe she'll catch Cholera like Gustav von Ashenbach. 243 00:16:12,740 --> 00:16:14,810 Death In Venice. 244 00:16:14,860 --> 00:16:17,090 - It's a book. - It's a book. Of course it is. 245 00:16:17,140 --> 00:16:20,290 Look, I'll tell you why it's a bad idea to have three girlfriends. 246 00:16:20,340 --> 00:16:22,730 - Cos it's three more tha you have (!) - A... 247 00:16:22,780 --> 00:16:25,330 one day you'll call them by the other girls' name. B... 248 00:16:25,380 --> 00:16:29,250 - they'll find out you're cheating and dump you. - I haven't lied to them. 249 00:16:29,300 --> 00:16:32,010 Spoken like a cheap lawyer. C, Mother isn't happy. 250 00:16:32,060 --> 00:16:33,650 - D... - Let's do the whole alphabet. 251 00:16:33,700 --> 00:16:36,850 .. if you had one girlfriend... I know, boring... and she had two men, 252 00:16:36,900 --> 00:16:41,130 - how would you feel? And... - If you say, "E", I'll kick your bad leg. 253 00:16:41,180 --> 00:16:43,770 - Aaghhh! - R? 254 00:16:43,820 --> 00:16:46,490 Oh, I give up. Do what you want. 255 00:16:46,540 --> 00:16:49,170 Yeah, we know it hurts. 256 00:16:49,220 --> 00:16:53,210 And it says here 'a broken limb can become deformed if not set properly.' 257 00:16:54,700 --> 00:16:57,130 W-Why don't I make you a plaster cast? 258 00:16:57,180 --> 00:16:59,170 Because you're not a doctor. 259 00:16:59,220 --> 00:17:02,520 - I delivered Lugaretzia's..... granddaugther - so I practically am! 260 00:17:21,860 --> 00:17:25,010 - Yassas. - Yassas. 261 00:17:25,060 --> 00:17:28,770 - Sorry to disturb you. Are you Tsanta? - Yes, I am. 262 00:17:28,820 --> 00:17:32,820 - I am Mrs Durrell, your friend Leslie's mother. - Oh. 263 00:17:33,820 --> 00:17:37,730 What a pretty blush. Mr Halikiopoulos and I were passing. 264 00:17:37,780 --> 00:17:40,690 - Weren't we? - OK. 265 00:17:40,740 --> 00:17:45,330 Leslie said you helped out here and I've always wanted to visit this church. 266 00:17:45,380 --> 00:17:47,370 Haven't I, Spiros? 267 00:17:47,420 --> 00:17:51,290 Yes, I had to tell her, "Stop going on and on and on about it." 268 00:17:51,340 --> 00:17:53,170 I didn't go on and on about it. 269 00:17:53,220 --> 00:17:56,060 I am very pleased to meet you. 270 00:17:58,660 --> 00:18:01,050 I see why Leslie loves his mother. 271 00:18:01,100 --> 00:18:03,810 You go straight into the lead. 272 00:18:03,860 --> 00:18:06,860 - The lead? - Er... 273 00:18:13,260 --> 00:18:16,220 - Yassas. - Yassas. 274 00:18:17,940 --> 00:18:19,290 You are Dionisia? 275 00:18:19,340 --> 00:18:22,370 - Neh. - Leslie's mother. 276 00:18:22,420 --> 00:18:25,610 Mrs Durrells. He mentioned you. We were just passing. 277 00:18:25,660 --> 00:18:29,030 - ~ - She doesn't speak English. 278 00:18:29,580 --> 00:18:32,090 Oh. So how do they make each other laugh? 279 00:18:33,140 --> 00:18:34,830 ~ 280 00:18:35,380 --> 00:18:36,730 ~ 281 00:18:36,780 --> 00:18:38,780 Mind your own business. 282 00:18:40,220 --> 00:18:42,610 So what does she like about Leslie? 283 00:18:43,660 --> 00:18:44,810 ~ 284 00:18:44,860 --> 00:18:48,170 Hmmm. ~ 285 00:18:48,220 --> 00:18:50,370 He's silly. 286 00:18:50,920 --> 00:18:52,910 Kalimera. ~ 287 00:18:52,960 --> 00:18:54,820 ~ 288 00:18:56,260 --> 00:18:58,250 If anyone's silly, you're silly. 289 00:18:58,300 --> 00:19:01,770 - You want my opinion of the ladies? - I think I've made my own mind up. 290 00:19:01,820 --> 00:19:04,810 - Daphne's tough because her father is a gangster. - What?! 291 00:19:04,860 --> 00:19:07,770 - Well, why didn't you say? - You can't pick your daddy. 292 00:19:07,820 --> 00:19:12,180 Dionisia, I think, lives for now and does what comes naturally. 293 00:19:13,660 --> 00:19:16,650 Tsanta is a sweet peasant girl... 294 00:19:16,700 --> 00:19:19,970 - who keeps her knees together. - You're guessing. 295 00:19:20,020 --> 00:19:22,850 - Yes, but I knew her mother well. - Of course you did. 296 00:19:22,900 --> 00:19:26,370 I just want Leslie to find someone who'll love him 297 00:19:26,420 --> 00:19:27,970 like I loved my husband. 298 00:19:28,020 --> 00:19:30,090 So, what now? 299 00:19:30,140 --> 00:19:32,940 I talk to Leslie and tell him who he should choose. 300 00:19:34,580 --> 00:19:40,980 - You... are... family... of... Lugaretzia. - Lugaretzia. 301 00:19:49,980 --> 00:19:51,980 Stop it now. That's really mean. 302 00:20:06,980 --> 00:20:09,730 Plaster cast. Want to sign it? 303 00:20:09,780 --> 00:20:11,850 Just trying to keep it erudite. 304 00:20:11,900 --> 00:20:13,900 Who did it? 305 00:20:14,940 --> 00:20:18,540 Les. It does hurt less but it is rather heavy. 306 00:20:24,540 --> 00:20:28,570 Oh, Leslie, I dropped in on all of your girlfriends. 307 00:20:28,620 --> 00:20:30,770 So, obviously, that took quite a while. 308 00:20:30,820 --> 00:20:32,810 Why did you? 309 00:20:32,860 --> 00:20:36,890 Well, because I haven't met them. I worry about you. 310 00:20:36,940 --> 00:20:40,890 - Well, you didn't mention any of my oddities, did you? - No. 311 00:20:40,940 --> 00:20:42,930 They're all very pretty. 312 00:20:42,980 --> 00:20:46,810 And Tsanta's lovely. Choose her. 313 00:20:46,860 --> 00:20:48,770 Sorry, Lugaretzia. 314 00:20:48,820 --> 00:20:52,450 Invite Tsanta round for tea and we can all kick off our shoes 315 00:20:52,500 --> 00:20:55,090 - and get to know each other better. - No. 316 00:20:55,140 --> 00:20:57,610 Look, I'm trying to save you some heartache. 317 00:20:57,660 --> 00:21:01,130 Having three times the normal number of girlfriends cannot end well. 318 00:21:01,180 --> 00:21:04,780 Then stop interfering. I'm trying to run a tight ship and keep them happy. 319 00:21:07,620 --> 00:21:08,220 Oh. 320 00:21:11,100 --> 00:21:13,330 Don't all glower at me. 321 00:21:13,380 --> 00:21:17,370 Well, it's not gone brilliantly, has it? Now you've alienated Leslie. 322 00:21:17,420 --> 00:21:19,980 I'm getting involved. I understand women. 323 00:21:23,020 --> 00:21:25,490 Well, I wouldn't kick any of them out of bed. 324 00:21:25,540 --> 00:21:28,850 Dionisia is the best. My family. 325 00:21:28,900 --> 00:21:32,690 - She looks fun. I'm backing her. - She's just like Leslie first girlfriend. 326 00:21:32,740 --> 00:21:35,410 - Who was unfaithful to him. - Love is a whirlpool. 327 00:21:35,460 --> 00:21:36,980 Some drown. 328 00:21:37,980 --> 00:21:41,050 Tsanta's kind and her English is good. 329 00:21:41,100 --> 00:21:44,220 - Dionisia only speaks Greek. - This is Greece, no? 330 00:21:45,780 --> 00:21:48,370 - Les needs a strong woman. - No. You mean YOU do. 331 00:21:48,420 --> 00:21:51,810 You can tell Daphne doesn't take any bullshit. I'll make sure he picks her. 332 00:21:51,860 --> 00:21:54,340 How we going to do that? 333 00:22:36,680 --> 00:22:41,010 Gerry, they hate me. Get rid of them. 334 00:22:41,060 --> 00:22:43,690 Flamingoes don't like being looked in the eye. I told you. 335 00:22:43,740 --> 00:22:45,570 See them in the wild. 336 00:22:45,620 --> 00:22:47,490 Do you know why they stand on one leg? 337 00:22:47,540 --> 00:22:50,450 - For a bet? I don't know. - Nor do I. 338 00:22:50,500 --> 00:22:52,930 No one does. Not until we study them some more. 339 00:22:52,980 --> 00:22:56,170 - And it's easier here. - For once, will you listen to me? 340 00:22:56,220 --> 00:22:58,130 Leslie doesn't. Larry doesn't. And... 341 00:22:58,180 --> 00:23:00,410 Margo's got a brain like a room full of starlings. 342 00:23:00,460 --> 00:23:03,610 - I wondered where I could get some starlings. - Listen! 343 00:23:03,660 --> 00:23:06,140 No more creatures. 344 00:23:10,140 --> 00:23:14,410 - Hello, Margo. Good timing. I'm just back from Athens. - Oh, good. 345 00:23:14,460 --> 00:23:17,090 - Theo, do you have any soap? - Yes, I do. 346 00:23:17,140 --> 00:23:19,060 May I have it, please? 347 00:23:23,380 --> 00:23:25,300 I may need to wash at some point. 348 00:23:27,260 --> 00:23:30,610 Are you trying the ancient craft of soap sculpture? 349 00:23:30,660 --> 00:23:32,690 Originally from Siam, I believe. 350 00:23:32,740 --> 00:23:35,290 You really are a brainbox, aren't you? 351 00:23:35,340 --> 00:23:38,930 - What are you doing in Athens? - Can't say yet. It's very exciting. 352 00:23:38,980 --> 00:23:43,780 As exciting as a family torn apart by a choice between three women? 353 00:23:44,980 --> 00:23:48,930 Leslie's girlfriends. Apparently, it's like King Lear. 354 00:23:48,980 --> 00:23:51,410 Except Les hasn't got a kingdom to give away. 355 00:23:51,460 --> 00:23:54,410 Gosh. I wouldn't have expected that from Leslie. 356 00:23:54,460 --> 00:23:56,460 I see him more as a Bottom. 357 00:23:57,900 --> 00:24:01,380 The Shakespearean character Bottom not THE bottom. 358 00:24:02,420 --> 00:24:03,570 Oh. 359 00:24:03,620 --> 00:24:06,180 Thank you so much. 360 00:24:10,020 --> 00:24:12,260 Come on, Theo. Spit it out. 361 00:24:16,940 --> 00:24:19,810 Mrs Petridis has opened up a spare room for me. 362 00:24:31,780 --> 00:24:33,780 What do you think? 363 00:24:37,660 --> 00:24:40,690 - A photography studio? - Sort of. 364 00:24:40,740 --> 00:24:44,370 A radiography unit. X-rays. A phenomenal diagostics tool. 365 00:24:44,420 --> 00:24:47,020 People are suffering and dying needless here. 366 00:24:48,200 --> 00:24:49,710 Theo, this is... 367 00:24:50,260 --> 00:24:51,210 wonderful. 368 00:25:01,420 --> 00:25:06,330 If you need me, I'll be next door asleep in a pool of my own tears. 369 00:25:11,420 --> 00:25:13,690 Why has our neighbour got a wheelchair? 370 00:25:13,740 --> 00:25:16,420 His toes went black and had to be cut off. 371 00:25:18,660 --> 00:25:20,660 Wait. Jar. 372 00:25:23,900 --> 00:25:26,500 Come on, handsome. 373 00:25:29,300 --> 00:25:32,060 - You heard what mother said. - I have a plan. 374 00:25:40,900 --> 00:25:42,890 - Hello. Herete. - Herete. 375 00:25:43,440 --> 00:25:44,940 ~ 376 00:25:48,260 --> 00:25:49,810 ~ 377 00:25:49,860 --> 00:25:51,610 You are very pretty and nice. 378 00:25:51,660 --> 00:25:53,860 ~ 379 00:25:54,940 --> 00:25:58,210 Leslie must be with you. You are the most jolly. 380 00:25:58,260 --> 00:26:02,980 We need more fun in our family and modern fashion like yours. 381 00:26:09,980 --> 00:26:11,970 ~ 382 00:26:12,020 --> 00:26:14,060 Leslie is very funny. 383 00:26:16,620 --> 00:26:19,060 I don't think it's deliberate. 384 00:26:22,380 --> 00:26:24,380 Kalimera. 385 00:26:27,580 --> 00:26:28,970 - Daphne? - Yes. 386 00:26:29,020 --> 00:26:31,970 We're Leslie's brothers. We're just passing. 387 00:26:32,020 --> 00:26:34,010 Came along to say hello. 388 00:26:34,060 --> 00:26:36,650 Larry needs an outing every once in while or he gets grumpy. 389 00:26:36,700 --> 00:26:40,370 - I've never seen one that big. - Thank you. I hear that a lot. 390 00:26:40,420 --> 00:26:44,090 Before we chat, I am available if you prefer me to Leslie. 391 00:26:44,140 --> 00:26:45,330 No. 392 00:26:45,380 --> 00:26:47,850 Good. That was a test. 393 00:26:47,900 --> 00:26:51,210 - Why do you like Leslie? - He's a good person. 394 00:26:51,260 --> 00:26:54,810 - Leslie thinks about me. - Yes. When he has time. 395 00:26:54,860 --> 00:26:57,170 But we're here to advise you how to win Leslie over. 396 00:26:57,220 --> 00:26:59,220 I have already won him over. 397 00:26:59,460 --> 00:27:01,450 - Well... - Not quite. 398 00:27:01,500 --> 00:27:04,890 - Pretend to love guns and shooting. - And he hates books. 399 00:27:04,940 --> 00:27:07,810 Just say you don't like them. And come to tea on Sunday. 400 00:27:07,860 --> 00:27:09,900 So we think of you as Leslie's girlfriend. 401 00:27:15,060 --> 00:27:17,970 - Hello, Tsanta. - Mrs Durrells. 402 00:27:18,020 --> 00:27:20,690 - You come to see the church again? - No. 403 00:27:20,740 --> 00:27:22,730 I've come to see you. 404 00:27:22,780 --> 00:27:23,940 Oh. 405 00:27:29,500 --> 00:27:31,490 - Is Mother out? - Yes. 406 00:27:31,540 --> 00:27:34,460 Thank you, driver. 407 00:27:46,660 --> 00:27:50,450 Go on. One in, one out! 408 00:27:50,500 --> 00:27:52,500 Shoo! Shoo! Shoo! 409 00:27:53,540 --> 00:27:56,260 Go on. Shoo! Shoo! Shoo! 410 00:27:57,020 --> 00:27:58,500 Shoo! 411 00:28:02,460 --> 00:28:04,490 You know Hitler's a vegetarian, Gerry? 412 00:28:04,540 --> 00:28:09,340 - And like you, he writes books. - Hm. He sounds all right, then. 413 00:28:11,260 --> 00:28:14,210 - Your hands are filthy. - Margo's used all the soap. 414 00:28:15,540 --> 00:28:18,490 Enjoy the chicken, everyone. 415 00:28:18,540 --> 00:28:21,690 - Since Gerry's shooed ours away. - You said to get rid of some animals. 416 00:28:21,740 --> 00:28:23,900 That is hilarious. Be fair. 417 00:28:26,620 --> 00:28:28,810 Delicious (!) 418 00:28:28,860 --> 00:28:32,210 - And no one was killed. - Good day at the orifice? 419 00:28:32,260 --> 00:28:35,050 Leg still feeling good? You're most welcome. 420 00:28:35,100 --> 00:28:39,010 It's bearable thanks to the booze I managed to smuggle past the guard. 421 00:28:46,460 --> 00:28:51,090 Leslie's less strong-minded than he seems. 422 00:28:51,140 --> 00:28:54,210 He needs help and reassurance. 423 00:28:54,260 --> 00:28:57,130 And sometimes, we forget to give it. 424 00:28:57,180 --> 00:28:59,170 So you can do that. 425 00:28:59,220 --> 00:29:01,610 Because that will make him love you... even more. 426 00:29:01,660 --> 00:29:04,180 Thank you. You're very nice. 427 00:29:09,460 --> 00:29:11,410 My latest. Larry's idea. 428 00:29:11,460 --> 00:29:14,340 It's Hydra, the serpent woman with three heads. 429 00:29:15,380 --> 00:29:17,970 Hello, I'm Margo. 430 00:29:18,020 --> 00:29:21,020 Leslie's sister and emotional advisor. You must be Tsanta. 431 00:29:22,260 --> 00:29:24,530 Are you sure you like Les? He's a lot of trouble. 432 00:29:24,580 --> 00:29:26,450 No, he's not. Go away. 433 00:29:26,500 --> 00:29:30,890 - Where is Leslie? - I told him to be here at five o'clock for Sunday tea. 434 00:29:30,940 --> 00:29:33,930 - Oh, God! - It's a bit of England we've brought with us. 435 00:29:33,980 --> 00:29:35,410 That and sarcasm. 436 00:29:35,460 --> 00:29:37,450 And a fear of emotions. 437 00:29:38,700 --> 00:29:40,180 Guests for tea! 438 00:29:42,500 --> 00:29:44,700 - Excuse me. - Excuse me. 439 00:29:56,660 --> 00:30:00,370 I bring my niece for five o'clock tea like you say. 440 00:30:00,420 --> 00:30:04,570 Oh. How... lovely. 441 00:30:04,620 --> 00:30:07,140 Well, let's have it over here. 442 00:30:08,980 --> 00:30:11,170 You'll get draughty in this dress, Dionisia. 443 00:30:11,220 --> 00:30:13,650 - I'll lend you a scarf. - Ignore her. You look stunning. 444 00:30:13,700 --> 00:30:17,170 She is pretty. My family usually is not pretty. 445 00:30:17,220 --> 00:30:20,370 - I'll bring Leslie right over. - Where is he? 446 00:30:20,420 --> 00:30:23,100 Good question. I'll go and look for him. 447 00:30:25,460 --> 00:30:27,250 Where did you bring Dionisia? 448 00:30:27,300 --> 00:30:29,490 I'm just the driver. I couldn't say no. 449 00:30:30,540 --> 00:30:33,290 My leg is hot and veering to the left. 450 00:30:33,340 --> 00:30:35,340 I want this cast off NOW! 451 00:30:36,260 --> 00:30:38,650 I have tools. 452 00:30:38,700 --> 00:30:42,490 Dionisia has arrived. We have to keep her and Tsanta apart. 453 00:30:42,540 --> 00:30:44,410 - And Daphne's coming any minute. - What?! 454 00:30:44,460 --> 00:30:47,530 I didn't know you were bringing all the contestants. Daphne. 455 00:30:47,580 --> 00:30:49,690 She's the best one for Les. Give up now. 456 00:30:49,740 --> 00:30:53,050 - She's much better than the nun woman. - She's not a nun! 457 00:30:53,100 --> 00:30:55,490 It's not fair on Leslie finding them all here. 458 00:30:55,540 --> 00:30:58,810 You wanted him to choose and now's his chance. Like a beauty parade. 459 00:30:58,860 --> 00:31:00,850 Or a police line-up. 460 00:31:00,900 --> 00:31:04,050 Daphne. Well, what a surprise. 461 00:31:04,100 --> 00:31:06,850 - Hello. - Oh, it's terribly hot, isn't it? 462 00:31:06,900 --> 00:31:08,450 - No. - No. 463 00:31:08,500 --> 00:31:11,060 Even so, let's go indoors and have tea. 464 00:31:25,740 --> 00:31:28,580 - I don't know where Leslie is. - There. 465 00:31:29,900 --> 00:31:31,530 Oh. 466 00:31:31,580 --> 00:31:34,260 Er... excuse me. 467 00:31:37,020 --> 00:31:39,490 Leslie, Leslie, don't approach the house. 468 00:31:39,540 --> 00:31:41,530 Why not? 469 00:31:41,580 --> 00:31:45,250 Because Larry is one saw stroke away from having his foot lopped off. 470 00:31:45,300 --> 00:31:48,980 - Well, I wouldn't want to miss that. - No, darling... 471 00:31:52,340 --> 00:31:54,340 Why did you let Leslie...? 472 00:31:55,260 --> 00:31:58,220 Your foot's stuck. 473 00:32:04,060 --> 00:32:06,530 What's all this, then? 474 00:32:06,580 --> 00:32:08,770 - Hello, Leslie. - Hello. 475 00:32:08,820 --> 00:32:10,860 - Hello, Leslie. - Yes. 476 00:32:14,740 --> 00:32:16,650 Who are these girls? 477 00:32:16,700 --> 00:32:19,220 They're just mates. 478 00:32:20,220 --> 00:32:22,650 Daphne, old Daffers... 479 00:32:22,700 --> 00:32:25,010 I've no idea who she is. 480 00:32:25,060 --> 00:32:27,210 "Larry is a bastard." 481 00:32:27,260 --> 00:32:30,930 - Who wrote that?! - And -- Bigfoot, Bighead. 482 00:32:30,980 --> 00:32:32,530 Come on. 483 00:32:32,580 --> 00:32:36,290 - There's your pseudonym. - This family is a disgrace. 484 00:32:36,340 --> 00:32:39,130 Spiros, saw off the leg. Nobody cares! 485 00:32:39,180 --> 00:32:41,630 I'm sorry, Greek people. 486 00:32:42,780 --> 00:32:47,140 - Do I hear the language of Shakespeare? - Aunt Hermione! 487 00:32:48,620 --> 00:32:50,090 Greetings. 488 00:32:50,140 --> 00:32:52,130 Why are you always early? 489 00:32:52,180 --> 00:32:56,170 - I opted to skip Foggia. Don't shout. - Auntie. 490 00:32:56,220 --> 00:32:58,210 Thank goodness you're here. 491 00:32:58,260 --> 00:33:00,850 Please sort out my children. 492 00:33:00,900 --> 00:33:04,690 And as you can't decide which of your girlfriends you prefer, 493 00:33:04,740 --> 00:33:06,730 Aunt Hermione will do it. 494 00:33:06,780 --> 00:33:08,540 Right here. Right now. 495 00:33:24,840 --> 00:33:27,910 You see, I wouldn't dream of policing anybody's family 496 00:33:27,960 --> 00:33:32,150 or romantic life. When it comes to love, we're all beginners. 497 00:33:32,200 --> 00:33:35,750 You see, my visits here have taught me that the world 498 00:33:35,800 --> 00:33:38,670 is too lovelier place to be a dictatorship. 499 00:33:38,720 --> 00:33:41,830 Honour others, be kind. But... 500 00:33:41,880 --> 00:33:45,240 obey only the whisperings of your own soul. 501 00:33:47,040 --> 00:33:49,510 - What is that? - Oh, do you like it? 502 00:33:49,560 --> 00:33:52,960 I could do you one if you want. With fewer heads or more heads. 503 00:34:00,360 --> 00:34:03,830 Auntie, you used to be so blunt and clear about everything. 504 00:34:03,880 --> 00:34:06,070 Oh, my dear, this place has changed me. 505 00:34:06,120 --> 00:34:08,790 I'm like a dog who wonders why she spent so long barking. 506 00:34:08,840 --> 00:34:13,110 Leslie, I'm sorry your dilemma was so publicly exposed. 507 00:34:13,160 --> 00:34:17,160 But better to live excessively than not to live at all. 508 00:34:17,920 --> 00:34:20,630 Anyway, I'm glad to be among you again. 509 00:34:20,680 --> 00:34:24,190 Welcome back. We've been following your return on a map. 510 00:34:24,240 --> 00:34:27,110 Yes. It's been a long journey. 511 00:34:27,160 --> 00:34:29,790 You know, I've learnt to say, "Where the hell are we?" 512 00:34:29,840 --> 00:34:31,830 in SIX European languages. 513 00:34:31,880 --> 00:34:34,310 Ha! So I'm going for a swim. 514 00:34:34,360 --> 00:34:36,150 Sorry I shouted before. 515 00:34:36,200 --> 00:34:39,590 I just don't want to remember Corfu as the place that destroyed my leg. 516 00:34:39,640 --> 00:34:43,590 - Theo's just set up an X-Ray unit. He says Mother's inspired him. - What? 517 00:34:43,640 --> 00:34:47,510 Why didn't you tell me this before? Spiros, please take me there now. 518 00:34:47,560 --> 00:34:50,470 It's not ready yet. Theo's still working out what the knobs do. 519 00:34:50,520 --> 00:34:53,280 - Well, I'll sit and wait until he has. - I'm coming too. 520 00:34:59,760 --> 00:35:03,870 Leslie! I promise we weren't trying to humiliate you. 521 00:35:03,920 --> 00:35:05,920 What have I done? 522 00:35:10,600 --> 00:35:12,870 You are good, Leslie. 523 00:35:12,920 --> 00:35:16,190 - I'm not, though, am I? I'm horrible. - No. 524 00:35:16,240 --> 00:35:19,390 - Thank you. - But... 525 00:35:19,440 --> 00:35:22,040 I don't want to see you anymore. 526 00:35:26,320 --> 00:35:30,110 - She was the nicest of them. - That's why I brought her here. 527 00:35:30,160 --> 00:35:32,590 Leslie, I have one thing to do. 528 00:35:32,640 --> 00:35:36,070 And that's make sure four children are happy. 529 00:35:36,120 --> 00:35:38,200 I really was just trying to help you. 530 00:35:39,360 --> 00:35:42,350 I know I shouldn't have had three girlfriends but... 531 00:35:42,400 --> 00:35:45,190 Oh, I was just waiting for natural wastage 532 00:35:45,240 --> 00:35:48,510 - as they realised I'm not that special. - But you ARE, Leslie. 533 00:35:48,560 --> 00:35:51,830 - In your way. - With my plan, I'd have been left with the keenest one 534 00:35:51,880 --> 00:35:54,480 least likely to cheat on me. Now I have nobody. 535 00:35:55,440 --> 00:35:57,150 But you WILL. 536 00:35:57,200 --> 00:36:01,230 Somewhere out there, there's a girl who will cherish you, 537 00:36:01,280 --> 00:36:03,280 and love you even more than I do. 538 00:36:04,920 --> 00:36:07,750 And I will look at the two of you with joy 539 00:36:07,800 --> 00:36:09,800 and my work will be done. 540 00:36:12,720 --> 00:36:14,880 No, I'll just stay at home with you. 541 00:36:16,680 --> 00:36:18,680 Oh, Leslie. 542 00:36:19,000 --> 00:36:22,160 You are a kind, sweet boy. 543 00:36:34,320 --> 00:36:35,550 Aarrghhhhhhhh! 544 00:36:35,600 --> 00:36:38,590 - You're marking the tiles. - I can't lift it up! 545 00:36:45,520 --> 00:36:47,360 Ohhhhhh! 546 00:36:50,040 --> 00:36:53,110 - Hello. - X-Ray me, doc. 547 00:36:53,160 --> 00:36:56,830 - Give me the bad news. - The equipment's not ready. 548 00:36:56,880 --> 00:37:00,750 And I'm not a doctor. Though I did buy myself a stethoscope and mask! 549 00:37:00,800 --> 00:37:04,310 - He's not leaving until you do it. - Can you X-Ray him through concrete? 550 00:37:04,360 --> 00:37:06,910 What do you think? Huh? What do you think? 551 00:37:06,960 --> 00:37:09,350 Dr Petridis must have some special tools. 552 00:37:09,400 --> 00:37:11,830 Yes, he has. 553 00:37:11,980 --> 00:37:13,170 Ssh. Sssh. 554 00:37:13,720 --> 00:37:15,720 Here we are. 555 00:37:17,480 --> 00:37:19,430 Argh! 556 00:37:19,480 --> 00:37:20,630 Aarrghhhhhhh! 557 00:37:20,680 --> 00:37:24,350 I haven't had much sleep but I seem to be weirdly strong. 558 00:37:24,400 --> 00:37:27,640 It's OK. Have a sit down. Have a sit down. 559 00:37:28,880 --> 00:37:31,670 - My husband's away, you know. - Yes, we do. 560 00:37:31,720 --> 00:37:34,080 I can't even look after my own baby. 561 00:37:36,880 --> 00:37:41,230 - How did you do that? - I've slept so I'm more relaxed than you. 562 00:37:42,280 --> 00:37:44,290 Babies sense these things. 563 00:37:44,440 --> 00:37:45,500 Don't they? 564 00:37:50,160 --> 00:37:53,560 Can I suggest a technique I used while making my soap sculpture? 565 00:37:55,640 --> 00:37:58,070 Thank you for coming. 566 00:37:58,120 --> 00:38:00,110 I didn't need much excuse. 567 00:38:00,160 --> 00:38:02,680 Wimborne Minster has been very dank. 568 00:38:04,360 --> 00:38:06,950 Are you planning to see your Greek gentleman... 569 00:38:07,000 --> 00:38:09,910 - Mr Anestis? - Yes. 570 00:38:09,960 --> 00:38:14,870 But if I don't settle here, I also have two suitors in East Dorset. 571 00:38:14,920 --> 00:38:17,390 So I can hardly criticise Leslie. 572 00:38:17,440 --> 00:38:20,120 I've done that enough in the past. 573 00:38:21,120 --> 00:38:23,110 Look, it's obvious... now. 574 00:38:23,160 --> 00:38:27,190 I've given up my love life so I've turned my attention to my children's. 575 00:38:27,240 --> 00:38:31,670 You are a resourceful mother to a platoon of strong-minded children. 576 00:38:31,720 --> 00:38:35,790 - Enjoy them without judging them. - Judging's the only fun I get. 577 00:38:35,840 --> 00:38:37,870 You know better than me 578 00:38:37,920 --> 00:38:42,510 but good parenting isn't about meddling in your children's lives. 579 00:38:42,560 --> 00:38:44,720 It's about loving them. 580 00:38:48,760 --> 00:38:51,190 - Arrghhhh! - Ssh. Ssh. Sssh. 581 00:38:51,240 --> 00:38:53,840 - It's softening. - Try the shears again. 582 00:38:55,600 --> 00:38:58,150 Agh! Agh! Agh! Agh! Agghhhh! 583 00:38:58,200 --> 00:39:00,030 Agh! Agh! Agh! 584 00:39:00,080 --> 00:39:02,150 Agh! Aarrghhhhh! 585 00:39:02,200 --> 00:39:04,200 - Your turn. - Oh, come on, Larry. 586 00:39:06,400 --> 00:39:07,070 Aarrghhhhh! 587 00:39:11,400 --> 00:39:14,390 Come on, Larry. 588 00:39:14,440 --> 00:39:16,440 We're nearly there. 589 00:39:18,120 --> 00:39:21,150 - Aarrghhhhhh! - Come on! 590 00:39:21,200 --> 00:39:23,680 Can you wipe my face, please? 591 00:39:29,440 --> 00:39:31,710 Thank you. Thank you. 592 00:39:31,760 --> 00:39:34,240 Thank you. 593 00:39:42,640 --> 00:39:45,160 Hey, Les. Sorry about you and your women. 594 00:39:46,560 --> 00:39:49,790 At least you know it would have never worked with Tsanta. 595 00:39:49,840 --> 00:39:53,590 Because Tsanta only comes once a year. 596 00:39:53,640 --> 00:39:56,470 I hope Theo says your leg is twisted and broken 597 00:39:56,520 --> 00:40:00,230 - and you never walk again! - Sibling discord? Is this possible? 598 00:40:00,280 --> 00:40:03,350 - Sorry. - Sorry. - Well, don't mutter apologies. 599 00:40:03,400 --> 00:40:05,400 Expand, explain, share! 600 00:40:06,120 --> 00:40:09,510 I was being insensitive. It's one of my strengths. 601 00:40:09,560 --> 00:40:11,550 Good. Stop that, then, dear. 602 00:40:11,600 --> 00:40:14,470 - Leslie? - I'm just sad. 603 00:40:14,520 --> 00:40:18,430 And a bit relieved. I thought I was enjoying it but... 604 00:40:18,480 --> 00:40:20,560 having three girlfriends is like... 605 00:40:21,920 --> 00:40:24,680 .. trying to ride three bikes. 606 00:40:26,080 --> 00:40:28,550 Anyway, all will be well. 607 00:40:28,600 --> 00:40:30,590 The girls clearly like you. 608 00:40:30,640 --> 00:40:35,510 - How could they not? - Go and settle things with Daphne and Dionisia. 609 00:40:35,560 --> 00:40:39,320 Tell the one you love the most that she's the only one for you. 610 00:40:40,320 --> 00:40:42,550 Oh, Margo. 611 00:40:42,600 --> 00:40:45,830 - Time for a new hobby? - Spaghetti weaving? 612 00:40:45,880 --> 00:40:49,230 - Banana bending? - No, I'm moving on. 613 00:40:49,280 --> 00:40:52,040 I'll see you at the doctor's in an hour. I have a plan. 614 00:40:54,400 --> 00:40:56,880 Well, everyone else has had one. 615 00:41:05,600 --> 00:41:09,520 I'm sorry if I don't always appreciate your animal collecting. 616 00:41:14,200 --> 00:41:16,590 Don't they miss being with their friends? 617 00:41:16,640 --> 00:41:18,800 I'm their friend. 618 00:41:21,400 --> 00:41:22,590 Oh. 619 00:41:22,640 --> 00:41:25,640 - Don't look them in the eye. - Oh. 620 00:41:28,760 --> 00:41:31,640 It's also good advice with lawyers, of course. 621 00:41:32,280 --> 00:41:36,070 It's for him. I'll release them when I've seen if their colour changes 622 00:41:36,120 --> 00:41:38,120 according to what I feed them. 623 00:41:48,720 --> 00:41:51,880 He's doing it! He's eating from my bowl. 624 00:41:58,840 --> 00:42:00,230 Doctor Stephanides. 625 00:42:00,280 --> 00:42:03,190 As I say, I'm not actually a doctor. 626 00:42:03,240 --> 00:42:05,240 But why not? I look like one. 627 00:42:07,040 --> 00:42:10,510 Theo, you've done it. You've actually made a difference. 628 00:42:10,560 --> 00:42:13,870 I have the results of my first X-Ray... 629 00:42:13,920 --> 00:42:16,550 from one Lawrence Durrell. 630 00:42:16,600 --> 00:42:18,830 But I should only show the patient. 631 00:42:18,880 --> 00:42:20,670 - We'll tell him. - Don't worry about it. 632 00:42:20,720 --> 00:42:22,760 I don't know if you can see there. 633 00:42:23,800 --> 00:42:26,360 Oh, yes. Gosh. 634 00:42:28,920 --> 00:42:32,680 Leg. Tibia. Fibula. 635 00:42:34,560 --> 00:42:37,910 We can see clearly that Larry has broken his... 636 00:42:37,960 --> 00:42:39,950 record for how low his pain threshold is. 637 00:42:40,000 --> 00:42:42,630 I suspect he has a torn muscle. 638 00:42:43,880 --> 00:42:47,030 - He's asleep. - Oh, Florence. 639 00:42:47,080 --> 00:42:51,270 - I'm worried about you. How are you? - It's very ageing, parenting. 640 00:42:51,320 --> 00:42:53,590 Don't worry. I'm coming to work for you both 641 00:42:53,640 --> 00:42:56,270 as a radiography assistant-cum-nanny. 642 00:42:56,320 --> 00:42:57,950 That was my plan. 643 00:42:58,000 --> 00:43:01,550 I'm good with people and babies. I need to be useful for a change. 644 00:43:01,600 --> 00:43:04,870 And I like seeing men with their clothes off. 645 00:43:04,920 --> 00:43:07,470 Pay me what you can afford. Right. 646 00:43:07,520 --> 00:43:09,840 Let's organise. Hm. Right. Florence... 647 00:43:11,000 --> 00:43:13,270 .. you've got vomit on your shoulder. 648 00:43:13,320 --> 00:43:15,040 Oh. 649 00:43:16,040 --> 00:43:19,150 I don't think she's going to turn up. 650 00:43:19,200 --> 00:43:22,230 - Sorry. - Where's Aunt Hermione? 651 00:43:22,280 --> 00:43:24,310 Out for drinks with Suitor No.1. 652 00:43:24,360 --> 00:43:26,870 - We love Aunt Hermione now. - She's a good sort. 653 00:43:28,960 --> 00:43:32,230 - Hello. - Kalos ilthes. 654 00:43:32,280 --> 00:43:33,270 ~ 655 00:43:35,520 --> 00:43:36,320 Yes. 656 00:43:36,520 --> 00:43:39,480 I am... pleased... to... be... here. 657 00:43:40,960 --> 00:43:42,160 Oh. 658 00:43:46,640 --> 00:43:50,550 - Oh, gosh. - Fresh bread. From the bakery. 659 00:43:50,600 --> 00:43:53,430 - Very pretty. - Yes. 660 00:43:53,480 --> 00:43:56,710 Well, I hope you'll all enjoy your vegetarian meal. 661 00:43:56,760 --> 00:43:58,630 - Gorgeous. - Ambrosial. 662 00:43:58,680 --> 00:44:01,270 - Evening, everyone. - Evening, auntie. 663 00:44:01,320 --> 00:44:06,320 Mr Anestis sends his... Oh, what are they?.. regards. 664 00:44:09,440 --> 00:44:12,510 I know you're all desperate to know which pseudonym I chose. 665 00:44:12,560 --> 00:44:15,590 - Is it Ivor Perfectly-Goodleg? - No. It's... 666 00:44:15,640 --> 00:44:17,400 Charles Norden. 667 00:44:19,200 --> 00:44:21,070 I'll fetch the meat. 668 00:44:21,120 --> 00:44:24,680 - No, Auntie, there's isn't... - It's fine. I'm happy to get it. 669 00:44:29,000 --> 00:44:31,270 Oh. 670 00:44:31,320 --> 00:44:34,990 - Auntie reminded me last night... - I did? 671 00:44:35,040 --> 00:44:38,750 .. that all that matters is that we love each other. 672 00:44:38,800 --> 00:44:43,430 And we let each other know in whatever way we find possible. 673 00:44:43,480 --> 00:44:46,350 I do it by protecting us all with my guns. 674 00:44:46,400 --> 00:44:48,590 I'll dedicate my next book to you all. 675 00:44:48,640 --> 00:44:52,200 We'll promise we'll try not to talk to you so much in the future. 676 00:44:57,080 --> 00:44:59,070 Pass the vegetables, please. 677 00:44:59,120 --> 00:45:02,430 Auntie. Would you like tomato? 678 00:45:02,480 --> 00:45:04,670 Is there enough veg for us all? 679 00:45:04,720 --> 00:45:06,440 Don't hold back, Gerry. 680 00:45:08,160 --> 00:45:10,920 I really like his humour. 681 00:45:19,680 --> 00:45:21,670 So... 682 00:45:21,720 --> 00:45:24,160 now we are seven. 683 00:45:30,040 --> 00:45:33,190 How do you split up nicely from a girlfriend? 684 00:45:33,240 --> 00:45:36,270 We should talk about... life and how it starts. 685 00:45:36,320 --> 00:45:38,630 - Please be mine again. - No. 686 00:45:43,600 --> 00:45:45,950 Look, this is a noble sacrifice. 687 00:45:46,000 --> 00:45:49,040 - Why are we staring at a wall? - It's alive. It's called Geronimo. 688 00:45:49,880 --> 00:45:53,000 - Please look after my children... while I'm away. - I'd love to. 689 00:45:53,840 --> 00:45:56,430 Agree to marry my daughter.