1 00:00:12,960 --> 00:00:14,960 Here, let me give you a hand. 2 00:00:14,960 --> 00:00:15,960 ORCHESTRAL MUSIC 3 00:00:17,960 --> 00:00:20,960 GROANS There we go. 4 00:00:22,960 --> 00:00:23,960 Gerry! 5 00:00:23,960 --> 00:00:24,960 Stop that pelican squawking 6 00:00:24,960 --> 00:00:26,960 or I'll throw a typewriter on its head! 7 00:00:26,960 --> 00:00:28,960 Mother? Stop Larry squawking. 8 00:00:35,960 --> 00:00:38,960 Come, shoo! ORCHESTRAL MUSIC 9 00:00:48,960 --> 00:00:51,640 So I said to him, "You're very sweet, 10 00:00:51,640 --> 00:00:54,960 "but you look about 14 and only come up to my chest." 11 00:00:54,960 --> 00:00:56,960 Someone bang the exciting new gong! 12 00:00:56,960 --> 00:01:00,960 Quick, put this on. You must be joking. 13 00:01:00,960 --> 00:01:02,960 It's the big moment! 14 00:01:02,960 --> 00:01:03,960 GONG 15 00:01:03,960 --> 00:01:05,800 GONG, GONG 16 00:01:09,960 --> 00:01:11,960 SHEEP BAAS 17 00:01:11,960 --> 00:01:13,960 LUGARETZIA SPEAKS IN GREEK 18 00:01:14,960 --> 00:01:17,960 What's she saying? Too many bloody foreigners in the house. 19 00:01:17,960 --> 00:01:20,960 We are not foreign, Lugaretzia. 20 00:01:20,960 --> 00:01:22,960 You are foreign. I'm certainly not foreign. 21 00:01:22,960 --> 00:01:24,960 Cometh the cocktail hour, cometh the man. 22 00:01:24,960 --> 00:01:26,960 Have you gonged the exciting new gong? 23 00:01:26,960 --> 00:01:28,960 Yes, I did. 24 00:01:28,960 --> 00:01:30,960 Because the builders have finally left 25 00:01:30,960 --> 00:01:32,960 and the penthouse floor is ready. 26 00:01:32,960 --> 00:01:36,160 So, now we are up and running as a high-grade guesthouse, 27 00:01:36,160 --> 00:01:39,960 I will have to charge all my lodgers 28 00:01:39,960 --> 00:01:41,960 the full weekly rent of 80 drachma. 29 00:01:45,960 --> 00:01:46,960 Larry! 30 00:01:46,960 --> 00:01:50,160 Can we be your girlfriends and move into your room? 31 00:01:50,160 --> 00:01:51,960 Oh, all right. 32 00:01:54,960 --> 00:01:56,960 BOTH GIGGLE 33 00:01:56,960 --> 00:01:59,960 Well, I think it's thrilling. 34 00:01:59,960 --> 00:02:02,960 Guests, a venture to be proud of 35 00:02:02,960 --> 00:02:05,960 and a chance to heal the sadnesses of the past. 36 00:02:07,960 --> 00:02:10,960 Will you please stop growing! 37 00:03:03,960 --> 00:03:05,960 Bacon, known locally as noumboulo. 38 00:03:06,960 --> 00:03:10,960 Eggs and vegetables from the garden. And orange juice, 39 00:03:10,960 --> 00:03:12,960 enlivened with kumquat. Thank you. 40 00:03:12,960 --> 00:03:14,960 Now that I'm paying the full ticket, 41 00:03:14,960 --> 00:03:17,960 a chaser of porridge would slide down very nicely. 42 00:03:17,960 --> 00:03:19,320 But of course. 43 00:03:19,320 --> 00:03:20,960 You will explode. 44 00:03:20,960 --> 00:03:22,960 It's a risk I'm happy to take. 45 00:03:37,800 --> 00:03:38,960 Good morning, Spiro. 46 00:03:39,960 --> 00:03:41,800 Mrs Durrells. 47 00:03:47,000 --> 00:03:49,160 The postman asked me to take this to you 48 00:03:49,160 --> 00:03:51,960 because he couldn't be bothered. 49 00:03:58,960 --> 00:03:59,960 Thank you. 50 00:04:02,960 --> 00:04:05,320 It's either Margo's fashion magazines 51 00:04:05,320 --> 00:04:06,960 or Leslie's gun ones. 52 00:04:06,960 --> 00:04:08,960 Pretty or dead seems to be the choice. 53 00:04:11,960 --> 00:04:13,960 It's strange not seeing you since... 54 00:04:13,960 --> 00:04:16,960 Yes. How are your children? 55 00:04:16,960 --> 00:04:18,960 Ah... Noisy? 56 00:04:18,960 --> 00:04:19,960 And your wife? 57 00:04:19,960 --> 00:04:21,960 Pleased to be back, I think. 58 00:04:21,960 --> 00:04:23,960 SHUTTERS OPEN 59 00:04:24,960 --> 00:04:26,640 Oh, wonderful to see you, Spiro! 60 00:04:27,960 --> 00:04:30,960 SHEEP BAAS Oh, congratulations. 61 00:04:30,960 --> 00:04:33,960 Thank you, yes. It's going very well. 62 00:04:33,960 --> 00:04:35,960 I hear you're running a boardy house? 63 00:04:35,960 --> 00:04:39,960 A boarding house. Yes, well, starting. 64 00:04:39,960 --> 00:04:42,960 We only have one paying guest, Basil. 65 00:04:42,960 --> 00:04:43,960 If you hear of any lodgers, 66 00:04:43,960 --> 00:04:45,960 especially rich or barmy, do send them our way. 67 00:04:45,960 --> 00:04:48,160 That won't be necessary. 68 00:04:48,160 --> 00:04:50,960 So, goodbye. 69 00:04:50,960 --> 00:04:52,160 Goodbye. 70 00:05:02,960 --> 00:05:05,960 BANG Aw... 71 00:05:11,960 --> 00:05:13,640 You need to be friends with Spiro again. 72 00:05:13,640 --> 00:05:15,960 Can't. Look where that got me. 73 00:05:15,960 --> 00:05:18,960 Months of snivelling. I know, but apart from missing him, 74 00:05:18,960 --> 00:05:20,960 we're all really tired of having to walk everywhere. 75 00:05:20,960 --> 00:05:24,960 I am working hard and I'm not thinking about Spiro. 76 00:05:24,960 --> 00:05:25,960 Don't mention him again. BANG 77 00:05:27,960 --> 00:05:30,960 You know, Les and I both have emotional scars. 78 00:05:30,960 --> 00:05:34,960 He's obviously healing his by reverting to his more basic self. 79 00:05:34,960 --> 00:05:38,960 BANG I saw Daphne in town with her baby. 80 00:05:38,960 --> 00:05:40,480 Oh, poor Les. 81 00:05:40,480 --> 00:05:42,960 BANG Yes! 82 00:05:42,960 --> 00:05:44,960 You effing beauty! 83 00:05:44,960 --> 00:05:46,960 Not that he was ready to be a father. 84 00:05:51,960 --> 00:05:54,960 Gerry... Here. 85 00:05:54,960 --> 00:05:58,960 It's all right, I'll go in and polish the exciting new gong. 86 00:05:58,960 --> 00:05:59,960 Here. 87 00:06:02,960 --> 00:06:07,960 Now, she followed me. Followed you home, yes, yes. 88 00:06:12,960 --> 00:06:14,960 Oh, he's gorgeous! 89 00:06:17,960 --> 00:06:18,960 He's a barn owl. 90 00:06:18,960 --> 00:06:20,960 Roger can't get over the fact that he can swivel his head 91 00:06:20,960 --> 00:06:22,000 all the way around. 92 00:06:22,000 --> 00:06:24,960 Stop talking, please! I need to write. 93 00:06:24,960 --> 00:06:26,960 Well, do it in your room. Impossible. 94 00:06:26,960 --> 00:06:28,960 The girls are up there snoring... and farting. 95 00:06:29,960 --> 00:06:31,480 It's a dancer thing. 96 00:06:31,480 --> 00:06:33,960 They love to express themselves with their bodies. 97 00:06:33,960 --> 00:06:36,320 You won't let him get in the way of any of the guests, will you? 98 00:06:36,320 --> 00:06:38,320 The guest. England's worst solicitor. 99 00:06:38,320 --> 00:06:40,480 So bad that he's been sent on holiday. 100 00:06:40,480 --> 00:06:43,640 There'll be more. Well, they better be animal lovers. 101 00:06:43,640 --> 00:06:45,960 Because I'm going ahead with my plan for a proper zoo here. 102 00:06:45,960 --> 00:06:48,960 A complete animal experience 103 00:06:48,960 --> 00:06:51,960 with a breeding programme, wildlife in area enclosures 104 00:06:51,960 --> 00:06:55,960 and is now a mascot. Ulysses the owl. 105 00:06:55,960 --> 00:06:58,640 Who embodies the wisdom of the animal kingdom. 106 00:07:23,960 --> 00:07:25,960 Theo, where do you stand on nipped in waist dresses? 107 00:07:27,000 --> 00:07:28,960 It's a massive issue. 108 00:07:28,960 --> 00:07:30,960 I need to read up about it before I comment. 109 00:07:30,960 --> 00:07:34,960 Life's moving on. I feel I need new challenge. 110 00:07:45,640 --> 00:07:46,960 SIGHS 111 00:07:51,000 --> 00:07:53,960 Be very careful what you say. 112 00:07:53,960 --> 00:07:54,960 Who did your dreadful hair? 113 00:07:54,960 --> 00:07:58,160 Oh, I like its boldness. I didn't want bold. 114 00:07:58,160 --> 00:08:01,960 I wanted soft and attractive. Who did it? 115 00:08:01,960 --> 00:08:03,960 Mrs Lekhas. I think she was trained by clowns. 116 00:08:03,960 --> 00:08:05,960 The others are even worse. 117 00:08:09,960 --> 00:08:11,000 That's a worrying face. 118 00:08:11,000 --> 00:08:12,960 Can I have a few days off? 119 00:08:33,960 --> 00:08:34,960 GREEK GREETING 120 00:08:40,960 --> 00:08:41,960 Customer? 121 00:08:44,160 --> 00:08:45,480 Welcome! 122 00:08:50,960 --> 00:08:52,800 I hope you don't mind stairs. 123 00:08:53,960 --> 00:08:56,960 Now, this is newly appointed and rather swish. 124 00:09:06,960 --> 00:09:08,800 I like to be by the sea. 125 00:09:08,800 --> 00:09:10,960 How long are you thinking of residing? 126 00:09:10,960 --> 00:09:14,960 Perhaps a week? I will pay you now. 127 00:09:14,960 --> 00:09:18,800 Oh, you're not going to haggle? Are you sure you're Greek? 128 00:09:19,960 --> 00:09:23,960 In return, I am writing a book so I need to be left in peace, please. 129 00:09:23,960 --> 00:09:26,960 Oh, of course. My son, Lawrence, is a novelist. 130 00:09:26,960 --> 00:09:28,960 Ah. Don't read his books. 131 00:09:28,960 --> 00:09:31,960 He's become very smutty. All rather awkward. 132 00:09:31,960 --> 00:09:36,960 And yet, you are very proud? Yes. Yes, I am. 133 00:09:36,960 --> 00:09:39,960 Nobody wants a child who is like them. 134 00:09:39,960 --> 00:09:41,960 That is like giving more bread to the baker. 135 00:09:43,320 --> 00:09:44,960 I think we are going to get on. 136 00:09:44,960 --> 00:09:48,960 GIRLS GIGGLING LAWRENCE: My turn! My turn! 137 00:09:48,960 --> 00:09:49,960 Ignore that giggling. 138 00:09:49,960 --> 00:09:51,960 That's him with one of his girlfriends. 139 00:09:51,960 --> 00:09:55,480 And ignore any animal noises, or gunfire. 140 00:10:06,960 --> 00:10:08,960 How blessed you are. 141 00:10:08,960 --> 00:10:10,960 Two writers in the house. 142 00:10:10,960 --> 00:10:13,960 Three, if you count animal boy's scribblings. 143 00:10:13,960 --> 00:10:17,960 Mr Vangelatos is rather more modest than you about it. 144 00:10:17,960 --> 00:10:18,960 Yeah, and I bet he doesn't claim 145 00:10:18,960 --> 00:10:21,960 that each of his so-called books reinvents the wheel. 146 00:10:21,960 --> 00:10:23,640 If you think all wheels are the same, 147 00:10:23,640 --> 00:10:25,960 I'm gonna make you a car out of a bike, a tractor, 148 00:10:25,960 --> 00:10:27,960 a go-cart and a Ferris wheel. 149 00:10:27,960 --> 00:10:29,960 Perfect. And I'll drive it over your face. 150 00:10:29,960 --> 00:10:30,960 Thank you. 151 00:10:30,960 --> 00:10:34,960 You could both do with some of Mr Vang's generosity of heart. 152 00:10:36,960 --> 00:10:39,960 Why are you home early? I found my vocation. 153 00:10:39,960 --> 00:10:41,960 I'm setting up a hair and beauty salon. 154 00:10:41,960 --> 00:10:44,960 Argh, please stick to something that exercises your mind. 155 00:10:44,960 --> 00:10:47,960 Most men already think of women as brain-dead. 156 00:10:47,960 --> 00:10:50,960 Let me set you right about female emancipation, Larry. 157 00:10:50,960 --> 00:10:54,320 I'm off! It's about the right to choose. 158 00:10:54,320 --> 00:10:56,960 Not the right to stick at a boring job 159 00:10:56,960 --> 00:10:58,960 her brother thinks she should do. 160 00:11:13,160 --> 00:11:16,320 - Finally! - Lunch is served. 161 00:11:16,320 --> 00:11:18,960 DOOR KNOCK Hello. 162 00:11:18,960 --> 00:11:21,960 Well, don't let me interrupt your writing if it's flowing. 163 00:11:21,960 --> 00:11:23,960 No, it's not writing day. 164 00:11:23,960 --> 00:11:24,960 Yes... 165 00:11:24,960 --> 00:11:28,320 People don't realise we authors aren't typists, 166 00:11:28,320 --> 00:11:30,960 we're... penseurs. 167 00:11:30,960 --> 00:11:33,960 I think you're more of a penseur than me. 168 00:11:37,960 --> 00:11:41,960 So, just fill you in on us Durrells, father died when we were young 169 00:11:41,960 --> 00:11:45,640 so mother has wells of resource but she's always relied on us, 170 00:11:45,640 --> 00:11:47,960 me, to sure her up. 171 00:11:48,960 --> 00:11:51,960 Families are monstrous, of course. 172 00:11:51,960 --> 00:11:54,480 No doubt Bruegel was inspired by Christmas with his relatives. 173 00:11:59,000 --> 00:12:00,960 Do you write about your family? 174 00:12:00,960 --> 00:12:03,960 No. I should, really. 175 00:12:04,960 --> 00:12:06,960 But they don't deserve it. 176 00:12:06,960 --> 00:12:08,960 Maybe Gerry will. He's kinder than me. 177 00:12:08,960 --> 00:12:11,960 What do you write about? 178 00:12:11,960 --> 00:12:15,000 GULPS The... people. 179 00:12:15,000 --> 00:12:16,960 Right... 180 00:12:17,960 --> 00:12:19,960 What people? 181 00:12:19,960 --> 00:12:20,960 Er... 182 00:12:22,640 --> 00:12:24,960 I don't want to talk about writing. 183 00:12:24,960 --> 00:12:25,960 Hah. 184 00:12:33,160 --> 00:12:35,960 Ha. What do you think? 185 00:12:35,960 --> 00:12:37,960 My beauty boudoir. 186 00:12:39,160 --> 00:12:40,960 I'm prepared to give you free introductory 187 00:12:40,960 --> 00:12:42,960 fashion advice or a haircut. 188 00:12:42,960 --> 00:12:44,960 Mother does my hair. Yes, and look at it. 189 00:12:44,960 --> 00:12:47,960 I take my lead from the animal kingdom. 190 00:12:47,960 --> 00:12:48,960 Clearly. 191 00:12:50,000 --> 00:12:52,960 All right, fashion... 192 00:12:52,960 --> 00:12:56,960 I can make you a nice bowtie by cannibalising some old knickers. 193 00:13:00,640 --> 00:13:02,320 Les! No, don't trust you. 194 00:13:08,960 --> 00:13:11,960 So, do you own this house? Yes, of course we do. 195 00:13:11,960 --> 00:13:12,960 Gosh. 196 00:13:14,960 --> 00:13:18,960 Oh, no, I mean this house? Oh, yes. 197 00:13:18,960 --> 00:13:20,000 And a castle in Tuscany. 198 00:13:21,640 --> 00:13:22,960 No. 199 00:13:22,960 --> 00:13:24,960 We usually have to pawn something to pay the rent. 200 00:13:24,960 --> 00:13:26,960 So, hide your cuff links. 201 00:13:27,960 --> 00:13:29,960 Am I not to be joined by my co-tenant? 202 00:13:29,960 --> 00:13:31,960 No, he likes to eat in his room. 203 00:13:31,960 --> 00:13:33,960 Simply and without fuss. 204 00:13:33,960 --> 00:13:35,960 Portions befitting a single human being. 205 00:13:35,960 --> 00:13:37,960 Rather than a barbershop quartet. 206 00:13:39,960 --> 00:13:43,000 Now, do you see the mistake you've made there? 207 00:13:46,960 --> 00:13:48,960 I did mention that I gag on tomatoes. 208 00:13:53,160 --> 00:13:55,960 Someone offer to help! 209 00:13:57,960 --> 00:13:59,960 Squeeze three oranges and a kumquat into a glass, 210 00:13:59,960 --> 00:14:01,960 put it on the tray in the kitchen 211 00:14:01,960 --> 00:14:03,960 and then take it upstairs to Mr Vangelatos. 212 00:14:03,960 --> 00:14:06,320 And don't roll your eyes at me! 213 00:14:06,320 --> 00:14:07,960 Mr Vangelatos isn't a writer, you know. 214 00:14:07,960 --> 00:14:09,960 What? You sure? 215 00:14:09,960 --> 00:14:13,160 He's lying. And, he's jumpy. 216 00:14:13,160 --> 00:14:14,960 Nonsense. 217 00:14:14,960 --> 00:14:18,960 Speaking as a solicitor emeritus, one has seen these types before. 218 00:14:18,960 --> 00:14:21,960 Vagabond thieves moving from house to house... Shush! 219 00:14:22,960 --> 00:14:25,960 And his name, Lazarus Vangelatos. 220 00:14:25,960 --> 00:14:26,960 Reeks of contrivance. 221 00:14:26,960 --> 00:14:29,480 Well, I'm a trained policeman 222 00:14:29,480 --> 00:14:30,960 so I'll cunningly get the truth out of him. 223 00:14:37,960 --> 00:14:41,960 In terms of me, I'm rather saddened by my laundry. 224 00:14:41,960 --> 00:14:43,800 Could it be crisper? 225 00:14:43,800 --> 00:14:46,960 Excuse me, quick visit to the lav. 226 00:14:46,960 --> 00:14:48,960 One meal in, one out. 227 00:14:52,480 --> 00:14:53,640 SPEAKS IN GREEK 228 00:14:56,960 --> 00:14:57,960 SPEAKS IN GREEK 229 00:15:02,960 --> 00:15:03,960 Hmm... 230 00:15:22,460 --> 00:15:26,140 DOOR KNOCK LESLIE SPEAKS IN GREEK 231 00:15:26,140 --> 00:15:29,460 Supper for one? Thank you. 232 00:15:40,460 --> 00:15:41,460 So... 233 00:15:43,460 --> 00:15:45,460 What's your game? What are you up to, really, staying here? 234 00:15:45,460 --> 00:15:47,460 Hmm? 235 00:15:47,460 --> 00:15:51,460 I am just trying to make my way in this unjust world. 236 00:15:51,460 --> 00:15:53,660 As you are. 237 00:15:53,660 --> 00:15:57,460 Well, yes, I am. 238 00:15:57,460 --> 00:15:59,460 I'm sorry if I seem awkward. 239 00:16:00,460 --> 00:16:04,460 You have the gift of confidence. Thanks. 240 00:16:04,460 --> 00:16:07,460 But actually, no, not really. 241 00:16:10,460 --> 00:16:13,660 I'm horribly misunderstood by my family. 242 00:16:13,660 --> 00:16:16,460 That's very sad. 243 00:16:16,460 --> 00:16:20,460 I'm like my father was, a man of action. 244 00:16:20,460 --> 00:16:23,460 And now you're considered stupid if you like simple, honest things 245 00:16:23,460 --> 00:16:26,460 like physical work. 246 00:16:26,460 --> 00:16:28,460 And guns. 247 00:16:28,460 --> 00:16:33,460 I nearly became a father. With Daphne. 248 00:16:33,460 --> 00:16:34,460 She's so beautiful. 249 00:16:37,460 --> 00:16:42,460 She carried what I thought was my baby for six months. 250 00:16:42,460 --> 00:16:44,460 But... it was another chap's. 251 00:16:52,460 --> 00:16:56,460 Oh, um... are you all right? 252 00:16:56,460 --> 00:16:59,660 The question is, are you? 253 00:16:59,660 --> 00:17:02,460 Embrace change. 254 00:17:02,460 --> 00:17:05,460 It is painful but necessary. 255 00:17:05,460 --> 00:17:06,820 The future is yours. 256 00:17:09,460 --> 00:17:11,460 You are such a good listener. 257 00:17:11,460 --> 00:17:13,460 CHUCKLES 258 00:17:26,460 --> 00:17:28,460 Leslie! Spiro. 259 00:17:28,460 --> 00:17:30,460 Thanks for recommending The Durrell Guesthouse 260 00:17:30,460 --> 00:17:31,460 to Mr Vangelatos. 261 00:17:31,460 --> 00:17:34,460 He hid his face a bit under his hat. I hope he's not peculiar. 262 00:17:34,460 --> 00:17:38,460 No, we love him. OLD MAN SPEAKS IN GREEK 263 00:17:38,460 --> 00:17:39,980 Is he talking to us? 264 00:17:39,980 --> 00:17:42,460 He's being rude about you because you're not Greek. 265 00:17:50,460 --> 00:17:54,460 Wasn't shouting, was I? Sorry, Spiro. 266 00:18:14,660 --> 00:18:16,500 Hello. Hello. 267 00:18:16,500 --> 00:18:21,460 Do you always carry a hat stand now? 268 00:18:21,460 --> 00:18:24,460 No, I just bought it for the house. Nice. 269 00:18:33,500 --> 00:18:35,460 I haven't seen you in a while. 270 00:18:35,460 --> 00:18:38,460 No, I was in Athens with my grandmother, 271 00:18:38,460 --> 00:18:41,460 getting help with the baby. Ah, yes. 272 00:18:41,460 --> 00:18:44,460 I hear it's quite a shock no matter how prepared you are. 273 00:18:44,460 --> 00:18:46,460 Yes. 274 00:18:46,460 --> 00:18:51,460 I left my father with her for ten minutes, he's white with fear. 275 00:18:51,460 --> 00:18:55,460 It is no fun. You are the lucky one. 276 00:18:57,460 --> 00:18:59,460 Yes, aren't I? 277 00:19:05,460 --> 00:19:09,460 I uh... I built my family a new lavatory. 278 00:19:09,460 --> 00:19:11,460 Well done. 279 00:19:13,460 --> 00:19:14,460 I have dreams it's our baby 280 00:19:14,460 --> 00:19:16,460 and we're together in a little house. 281 00:19:45,460 --> 00:19:49,500 Any plans for the weekend? Yes. Um, sitting in my room. 282 00:19:49,500 --> 00:19:53,660 That's boring. Join us downstairs. 283 00:19:53,660 --> 00:19:55,460 Beards are very demode. 284 00:19:55,460 --> 00:19:59,460 Why don't I shave yours off? Oh, no! 285 00:19:59,460 --> 00:20:02,460 I am sorry, no. I need it. They're all desperately wondering 286 00:20:02,460 --> 00:20:04,460 what you're doing here. 287 00:20:04,460 --> 00:20:07,140 But as a beauty professional, I pass no judgements. 288 00:20:09,660 --> 00:20:14,460 I... made a mistake. 289 00:20:17,460 --> 00:20:20,820 Let it all out. What kind of mistake? 290 00:20:20,820 --> 00:20:22,460 A big one. 291 00:20:37,460 --> 00:20:40,980 I'm sure it's not as bad as all that. 292 00:20:40,980 --> 00:20:42,500 No, it is bad. 293 00:20:42,500 --> 00:20:46,460 But maybe I will do it again. Differently. 294 00:20:46,460 --> 00:20:48,460 Or not. Hard to say. 295 00:20:50,460 --> 00:20:53,460 Well, it's always important to forgive oneself. 296 00:20:53,460 --> 00:20:55,460 Would you like a manicure? 297 00:20:55,460 --> 00:20:58,460 You have done ghastly things to my hair, haven't you? 298 00:20:58,460 --> 00:21:00,140 Yep. 299 00:21:12,460 --> 00:21:15,460 Louisa Durrell! Oh, Superintendent. 300 00:21:15,460 --> 00:21:18,140 And is it super to see me? AWKWARD GIGGLES 301 00:21:18,140 --> 00:21:21,300 We agreed to have a drink, remember? 302 00:21:21,300 --> 00:21:23,460 You know, I don't think that was me. 303 00:21:23,460 --> 00:21:26,660 Yes, it was. When your son Leslie was in the police force. 304 00:21:26,660 --> 00:21:31,980 Ah, well, sadly, I'm too busy now running our guesthouse. 305 00:21:31,980 --> 00:21:36,460 If you have a hotel, I must visit to make sure everything is in order. 306 00:21:36,460 --> 00:21:40,460 It is. But do send one of your men over if you don't trust me. 307 00:21:40,460 --> 00:21:45,140 I will. And I will come myself. Yes, you do that. 308 00:21:45,140 --> 00:21:48,460 I hear you do not see your crooked taxi driver any more? 309 00:21:52,460 --> 00:21:54,460 CHATTER IN THE DINING ROOM 310 00:21:57,460 --> 00:21:59,460 KNOCK ON DOOR 311 00:21:59,460 --> 00:22:01,460 - Ah, the clever one. - Theo! 312 00:22:01,460 --> 00:22:03,460 Hello! Margo? 313 00:22:03,460 --> 00:22:05,460 I've come for my haircut. Ooh... 314 00:22:07,300 --> 00:22:09,460 Is that not a good idea? What? Yes. 315 00:22:09,460 --> 00:22:12,300 You have no experience. 316 00:22:12,300 --> 00:22:14,460 And how else will I ever get any? 317 00:22:14,460 --> 00:22:16,460 I don't mind the few rough edges. 318 00:22:16,460 --> 00:22:20,820 You made it downstairs. Oh, God. Did Margo do your hair? 319 00:22:20,820 --> 00:22:23,460 Yes. Margo, I'm cancelling. 320 00:22:26,460 --> 00:22:28,460 Oh! OWL SCREECHES 321 00:22:28,460 --> 00:22:30,140 Oh, it's the ruddy owl. 322 00:22:33,820 --> 00:22:36,660 Eurgh! That is... 323 00:22:36,660 --> 00:22:39,460 Regurgitated mouse, anyone? And owls are supposed to be clever? 324 00:22:39,460 --> 00:22:43,300 Owl wisdom is profounder than humans'. 325 00:22:43,300 --> 00:22:45,460 But if it's cheap tricks you're after, I can arrange that. 326 00:22:45,460 --> 00:22:47,460 Come on. OWL SCREECHES 327 00:22:47,460 --> 00:22:48,660 Come on. 328 00:23:04,460 --> 00:23:07,460 Many gentlemen. One mule. 329 00:23:09,460 --> 00:23:12,460 Did Margo do that to your hair? Yes. 330 00:23:12,460 --> 00:23:14,460 Well, let that be a lesson to us all. 331 00:23:14,460 --> 00:23:15,820 Before you attempt to flee, 332 00:23:15,820 --> 00:23:18,460 do you want to tell them or shall I? 333 00:23:18,460 --> 00:23:20,140 Theo, you're being peculiar. 334 00:23:20,140 --> 00:23:22,460 You'll get a sympathetic hearing here. 335 00:23:22,460 --> 00:23:24,140 What's going on? 336 00:23:24,140 --> 00:23:27,460 He's on a wanted poster in the police station. 337 00:23:27,460 --> 00:23:31,460 Attempted murder. I didn't try to kill anyone! 338 00:23:31,460 --> 00:23:34,460 But it's true, I wanted to hurt him badly. 339 00:23:34,460 --> 00:23:37,460 I hate violence of any kind 340 00:23:37,460 --> 00:23:38,460 but I asked my friends in Athens 341 00:23:38,460 --> 00:23:40,460 who know and they say it was a political act 342 00:23:40,460 --> 00:23:42,460 targeting a brutal fascist. 343 00:23:42,460 --> 00:23:43,460 He put friends in prison. 344 00:23:43,460 --> 00:23:48,460 I meant to shoot him in the leg, to show anger, but he bent down 345 00:23:48,460 --> 00:23:52,460 to tie his shoelace and by mistake a shot him in the... 346 00:23:56,980 --> 00:23:59,460 This part. It's the loin. 347 00:23:59,460 --> 00:24:02,460 Private parts. Testes. 348 00:24:02,460 --> 00:24:04,460 We hate Greece's drift towards fascism. 349 00:24:04,460 --> 00:24:09,460 The Nazis are polluting Europe, country by country. 350 00:24:09,460 --> 00:24:14,460 And Greece is next! Radical solutions are required! 351 00:24:14,460 --> 00:24:16,460 We must join together! 352 00:24:16,460 --> 00:24:18,460 Oh, spare me the waterworks. 353 00:24:18,460 --> 00:24:21,460 You shot a man and now you descend on us 354 00:24:21,460 --> 00:24:23,460 with some jumped up idealism 355 00:24:23,460 --> 00:24:26,460 and endanger my family. Well, how dare you! 356 00:24:26,460 --> 00:24:28,460 Now, hang on a minute... No. 357 00:24:28,460 --> 00:24:30,980 No, I have slaved away to get this place on its feet 358 00:24:30,980 --> 00:24:35,140 and now we'll be shut down and hated for harbouring a murderer. 359 00:24:35,140 --> 00:24:38,140 It wasn't murder. And he won't get a fair trial. 360 00:24:38,140 --> 00:24:41,460 I don't care. I want you to leave. 361 00:24:41,460 --> 00:24:42,460 By tomorrow. 362 00:24:59,460 --> 00:25:00,980 Look, I like him too 363 00:25:00,980 --> 00:25:03,500 but we shouldn't be hiding ruthless revolutionaries. 364 00:25:03,500 --> 00:25:06,460 You're such a copper. And you're such an arsehole. 365 00:25:07,460 --> 00:25:10,460 If he's found, he'll be incarcerated. 366 00:25:10,460 --> 00:25:12,460 Ugh, that's horrible. 367 00:25:12,460 --> 00:25:15,460 Are you thinking of castrated? 368 00:25:16,460 --> 00:25:18,460 Sorry, yes. 369 00:25:18,460 --> 00:25:20,460 Imprisoned for life or worse. 370 00:25:20,460 --> 00:25:24,460 As a family, we support the underdog. You would be saying that 371 00:25:24,460 --> 00:25:26,460 if he shot Mahatma Gandhi in the bollocks. 372 00:25:26,460 --> 00:25:29,300 What's your problem? I think you know what it is. 373 00:25:31,460 --> 00:25:33,660 CREAKING 374 00:25:33,660 --> 00:25:35,820 LAUGHTER 375 00:25:37,460 --> 00:25:38,460 Well you wanted them crisp. 376 00:25:38,460 --> 00:25:41,820 I shall be making a deduction from next week's rent 377 00:25:41,820 --> 00:25:43,460 for client mockery. 378 00:25:43,460 --> 00:25:46,820 It was an accident. I got the starch wrong. 379 00:25:46,820 --> 00:25:49,460 I tried the shirt on, I looked like a Cubist painting. 380 00:25:49,460 --> 00:25:52,460 Moving on to something less contentious... 381 00:25:52,460 --> 00:25:53,820 Good vocabulary. Thank you. 382 00:25:53,820 --> 00:25:56,460 I've been drawing up some plans for the new zoo and ah... 383 00:25:56,460 --> 00:25:58,300 TURKEY GOBBLES 384 00:26:02,460 --> 00:26:03,460 Nice barnet. LAUGHS 385 00:26:03,460 --> 00:26:04,460 What have you done to him? 386 00:26:04,460 --> 00:26:06,460 Improved his look. No, you haven't. 387 00:26:06,460 --> 00:26:08,460 Yes, she has. She has, actually. 388 00:26:08,460 --> 00:26:11,460 Well, I'm inspired by Mr Vangelatos. 389 00:26:11,460 --> 00:26:13,460 He pursued his passion and so am I. 390 00:26:13,460 --> 00:26:16,460 I agree. We should all be revolutionaries. 391 00:26:16,460 --> 00:26:18,460 Revolutionaries... 392 00:26:18,460 --> 00:26:21,460 I'll settle for a home without stupid animals. 393 00:26:21,460 --> 00:26:23,460 Shoo! TURKEY GOBBLES 394 00:26:28,460 --> 00:26:32,300 I know this seems harsh, but... No, I understand. 395 00:26:33,460 --> 00:26:35,460 So, where will you go? 396 00:26:35,460 --> 00:26:37,460 I must find a boat and escape abroad. 397 00:26:39,300 --> 00:26:40,460 I'm sorry. 398 00:26:40,460 --> 00:26:42,500 But to be honest, I'm fighting battles 399 00:26:42,500 --> 00:26:46,460 and I couldn't face another one. I will be honest, only to you. 400 00:26:46,460 --> 00:26:50,460 You're right, I am a terrible revolutionary. 401 00:26:51,460 --> 00:26:55,460 I did it all for love. Oh. 402 00:26:55,460 --> 00:26:56,820 I fell in love with a communist. 403 00:26:56,820 --> 00:26:59,980 I wanted to win her over by shooting the man 404 00:26:59,980 --> 00:27:02,460 who put her father in prison. 405 00:27:02,460 --> 00:27:06,460 That's so romantic. Sort of. No... 406 00:27:06,460 --> 00:27:10,300 She said it was an example of bourgeois sentimentality. 407 00:27:11,820 --> 00:27:13,980 I'm sorry, I... 408 00:27:13,980 --> 00:27:16,460 I cry easily when I think of who I love. 409 00:27:17,460 --> 00:27:22,500 And can never have. Me too. Till I learnt to stop. 410 00:27:25,460 --> 00:27:26,460 Look at you. 411 00:27:26,460 --> 00:27:30,460 You won't get to the bottom of the garden, let alone abroad. 412 00:27:30,460 --> 00:27:32,460 No, really, I'm as cunning as a fox. 413 00:27:40,460 --> 00:27:42,500 Good luck, son. Viva la revolution. 414 00:27:42,500 --> 00:27:44,660 Don't try anything in Dorset. He's staying. 415 00:27:44,660 --> 00:27:49,660 Oh. Until we can engineer an escape. 416 00:27:50,820 --> 00:27:52,460 You are so kind. 417 00:27:52,460 --> 00:27:54,460 You can lie low with us for a while. 418 00:27:54,460 --> 00:27:56,500 None of us will blow your cover. 419 00:28:01,460 --> 00:28:02,460 What have you done? 420 00:28:06,460 --> 00:28:09,140 I told the police superintendent that we were taking in guests. 421 00:28:09,140 --> 00:28:11,300 He's insisting on searching the premises 422 00:28:11,300 --> 00:28:13,500 with his men. When? 423 00:28:13,500 --> 00:28:15,460 Any time. LARRY GROANS 424 00:28:15,460 --> 00:28:18,460 We need a plan. We must get you away. 425 00:28:23,480 --> 00:28:25,000 Erimitis Cove is secluded. 426 00:28:25,000 --> 00:28:27,960 That's the best place to drop a boat and pick up Mr Vangelatos. 427 00:28:27,960 --> 00:28:30,960 No, what's his real name? The less we know, the better. 428 00:28:30,960 --> 00:28:33,640 Isn't that the kind of thing one says? 429 00:28:33,640 --> 00:28:34,960 I'm bored! 430 00:28:34,960 --> 00:28:36,960 Can somebody else watch out for the police now? 431 00:28:36,960 --> 00:28:38,960 Oh, well done! Very discreet! 432 00:28:38,960 --> 00:28:41,800 I'll get you a megaphone so even the deaf people 433 00:28:41,800 --> 00:28:43,960 in the neighbourhood can hear you! 434 00:28:43,960 --> 00:28:47,640 Why don't we get him off the island on the ferry, disguised as a monk? 435 00:28:47,640 --> 00:28:49,960 Too risky. The police know he's in Corfu 436 00:28:49,960 --> 00:28:51,960 and what he looks like. 437 00:28:51,960 --> 00:28:53,960 Washerwoman? 438 00:28:55,160 --> 00:28:57,800 I'm not good this, am I? 439 00:28:57,800 --> 00:28:59,960 We need a boat. 440 00:28:59,960 --> 00:29:02,000 Coffee in the northern gazebo. Oh, make your own. 441 00:29:02,000 --> 00:29:04,960 You know, I've got better things to do than flap around after you. 442 00:29:04,960 --> 00:29:07,960 There's a fugitive upstairs! Um... 443 00:29:07,960 --> 00:29:09,960 We wouldn't have needed to take in guests, 444 00:29:09,960 --> 00:29:11,960 fugitive or normal, 445 00:29:11,960 --> 00:29:14,800 if you hadn't buggered up Auntie's legacy 446 00:29:14,800 --> 00:29:16,960 like the great idle walrus you are! 447 00:29:18,960 --> 00:29:21,960 I may be a walrus but I am a paying walrus. 448 00:29:29,960 --> 00:29:31,960 Spiro! 449 00:29:31,960 --> 00:29:34,320 I have a favour to ask. Come into my office. 450 00:29:41,960 --> 00:29:44,960 I need a good boat with a motor. Why? 451 00:29:44,960 --> 00:29:46,960 To take a friend of ours away from Greece. 452 00:29:46,960 --> 00:29:49,960 Basil? You want to drown him? No. 453 00:29:49,960 --> 00:29:52,960 Well, yes, but no. A Greek friend. 454 00:29:52,960 --> 00:29:54,960 What's his name? I can't say it. 455 00:29:54,960 --> 00:29:57,960 How do you spell it? No, I can pronounce it, 456 00:29:57,960 --> 00:29:58,960 I don't want to say it. 457 00:29:58,960 --> 00:30:01,960 It's a so-called Communist fugitive. He's staying with us. 458 00:30:01,960 --> 00:30:04,960 Your Mr Vangelatos? Shush! 459 00:30:04,960 --> 00:30:06,960 The wanted guy? Yes. 460 00:30:06,960 --> 00:30:08,960 He's a good man. 461 00:30:08,960 --> 00:30:10,960 He needs to get to the nearest safe country. 462 00:30:12,960 --> 00:30:13,960 OK. 463 00:30:17,960 --> 00:30:20,000 I'm so sorry about you and Mother. 464 00:30:21,960 --> 00:30:22,960 Not as sorry as I am. 465 00:30:24,960 --> 00:30:27,960 But she's safe, well and... 466 00:30:27,960 --> 00:30:29,960 wonderful? 467 00:30:29,960 --> 00:30:32,480 Yes. She is. 468 00:30:39,960 --> 00:30:41,960 MARGO SPEAKS IN GREEK 469 00:30:41,960 --> 00:30:45,960 Hello! Beauty, haircutting. 470 00:30:49,960 --> 00:30:51,960 Hi, hi. 471 00:30:51,960 --> 00:30:54,480 Very cheap. I have my own scissors. 472 00:30:54,480 --> 00:30:56,000 And I trim pets' hair rather well. 473 00:30:56,000 --> 00:30:59,960 Have a think and come back here tomorrow to book an appointment. 474 00:31:01,000 --> 00:31:02,960 LADIES RESPOND IN GREEK 475 00:31:25,800 --> 00:31:27,960 GONG Argh! Ah, Super! 476 00:31:27,960 --> 00:31:30,800 Mr Durrell. What brings you to our house? 477 00:31:30,800 --> 00:31:32,960 I would like to visit the new guesthouse. 478 00:31:32,960 --> 00:31:33,960 To make sure everything is in order. 479 00:31:33,960 --> 00:31:38,000 Everyone, the superintendent and two nice policeman 480 00:31:38,000 --> 00:31:40,960 are going to check that everything's in order! 481 00:31:43,960 --> 00:31:45,960 Lots of people are snoozing. 482 00:31:45,960 --> 00:31:48,000 Superintendent! Leslie. 483 00:31:48,000 --> 00:31:51,320 Can I ask you one thing? Um, out here, 484 00:31:51,320 --> 00:31:53,960 because it's, it's personal. What? 485 00:31:56,000 --> 00:31:58,960 Can I have my old job back? No. 486 00:31:58,960 --> 00:32:00,960 But I'm a natural policeman. I hate injustice, 487 00:32:00,960 --> 00:32:04,000 love a uniform... SIGHS 488 00:32:05,960 --> 00:32:07,960 Ah! Superintendent. 489 00:32:07,960 --> 00:32:09,640 What a joy. 490 00:32:09,640 --> 00:32:11,960 You must sit and have tea and cake. 491 00:32:15,960 --> 00:32:18,960 All of you. I know how much you bobbies love your pastries. 492 00:32:18,960 --> 00:32:20,960 Only me. 493 00:32:20,960 --> 00:32:22,960 My men will examine the house. Go. 494 00:32:29,960 --> 00:32:31,960 I'm excited to be in your quarters. 495 00:32:33,960 --> 00:32:37,960 I need to see your search warrant. You can't come up. 496 00:32:37,960 --> 00:32:40,960 My girlfriend's naked. 497 00:32:40,960 --> 00:32:43,960 She's ferocious. Australian. 498 00:32:43,960 --> 00:32:45,960 And will scream so I'd, I'd give her a moment. 499 00:33:01,640 --> 00:33:03,960 We can do this. 500 00:33:05,640 --> 00:33:07,960 - Make sure it's tight. - Yes, yes. 501 00:33:07,960 --> 00:33:09,960 OK, come on... 502 00:33:09,960 --> 00:33:11,640 Yeah, that's it. 503 00:33:11,640 --> 00:33:13,960 Yeah. Yeah. 504 00:33:13,960 --> 00:33:15,960 There we are, we did it. 505 00:33:15,960 --> 00:33:17,960 GRUNTS 506 00:33:18,960 --> 00:33:20,960 Bugger. Oh... 507 00:33:25,960 --> 00:33:28,640 You are a pretty lady. Oh. 508 00:33:28,640 --> 00:33:30,960 I'm a handsome man. We should be lovely together. 509 00:33:30,960 --> 00:33:32,960 Oh, yes. 510 00:33:32,960 --> 00:33:35,960 You sleep alone, that is a waste. 511 00:33:35,960 --> 00:33:38,960 Well, not really, you see, I thrash about in bed. 512 00:33:38,960 --> 00:33:40,960 I thought so. 513 00:33:40,960 --> 00:33:44,960 Oh, no, not in that way! No, I've just... 514 00:33:44,960 --> 00:33:46,960 POLICEMEN ENTERING 515 00:33:46,960 --> 00:33:50,960 Hello, ah, the police. Let me show you my owl. 516 00:33:50,960 --> 00:33:52,960 Ulysses. Isn't he magnificent? 517 00:33:52,960 --> 00:33:55,000 Take your time, give him a stroke. 518 00:33:55,000 --> 00:33:57,960 OWL COUGHS 519 00:33:57,960 --> 00:33:58,960 Eurgh. 520 00:34:08,000 --> 00:34:10,960 The wise owl has gobbled the pretty mouse. 521 00:34:10,960 --> 00:34:13,960 If I wanted to be gobbled, it wouldn't be by you. 522 00:34:14,960 --> 00:34:18,960 And Spiro is not crooked, he's painfully honourable. 523 00:34:18,960 --> 00:34:20,640 I will inspect the house. 524 00:34:20,640 --> 00:34:23,960 We have information you are hiding a communist desperado. 525 00:34:27,960 --> 00:34:30,480 Grab the rope! GRUNTS 526 00:34:37,640 --> 00:34:38,960 GRUNTS 527 00:34:40,960 --> 00:34:41,960 Ah... 528 00:34:46,960 --> 00:34:49,960 - I'm not going up! - Mum, what do we do now? 529 00:34:49,960 --> 00:34:50,960 Hi. GIRL: You're not allowed here. 530 00:34:50,960 --> 00:34:54,960 POLICEMEN TALKING IN GREEK Scuse me! 531 00:34:54,960 --> 00:34:56,960 Wait! GERRY: You can't go up there! 532 00:34:56,960 --> 00:34:59,960 Go back and fold those things nicely. 533 00:34:59,960 --> 00:35:00,960 You have no warrant! 534 00:35:00,960 --> 00:35:02,960 SUSPENSEFUL GREEK STRINGS 535 00:35:08,960 --> 00:35:10,320 POLICEMEN SPEAK IN GREEK 536 00:35:13,960 --> 00:35:14,960 Oh, my God... 537 00:35:19,960 --> 00:35:21,960 No! Wait! 538 00:35:24,960 --> 00:35:26,640 No, no, no! 539 00:35:33,960 --> 00:35:37,480 We meet again, Superintendent. LARRY: No, no, no! 540 00:35:37,480 --> 00:35:39,960 We need to get something to help... Get what? 541 00:35:45,800 --> 00:35:47,960 Be careful... 542 00:35:47,960 --> 00:35:48,960 SUPERINTENDENT SPEAKS IN GREEK 543 00:35:58,960 --> 00:36:00,960 Careful, that's it! 544 00:36:03,320 --> 00:36:04,960 Argh! 545 00:36:08,960 --> 00:36:10,800 Hold tight! 546 00:36:10,800 --> 00:36:13,960 That's it, nearly there! 547 00:36:13,960 --> 00:36:16,960 Can't watch. LESLIE: I've got it, I've got it. 548 00:36:16,960 --> 00:36:19,960 I know what's happened, I heard you shouting 549 00:36:19,960 --> 00:36:22,960 about a Communist desperado. Guilty, that'll be me! 550 00:36:22,960 --> 00:36:25,160 Yep. Who'd have thought? 551 00:36:26,960 --> 00:36:29,960 Like a lot of posh Brits, I toyed with Marxism. 552 00:36:29,960 --> 00:36:31,960 Before realising it was tosh. 553 00:36:31,960 --> 00:36:33,960 That's it. 554 00:36:43,960 --> 00:36:45,960 So proud. Well done. 555 00:36:47,960 --> 00:36:50,960 Move. LESLIE: Quick! 556 00:37:19,480 --> 00:37:24,320 So, we'll wait here and hope that Spiro's found a boat. 557 00:37:35,960 --> 00:37:37,960 Emilia went back to her old lover. 558 00:37:37,960 --> 00:37:39,960 He's a better revolutionary than me. 559 00:37:39,960 --> 00:37:44,960 Aw... I shot a man, that is so bad. 560 00:37:44,960 --> 00:37:48,960 Nah... Love makes us do crazy things. 561 00:37:49,960 --> 00:37:51,160 The sweet madness. 562 00:37:52,960 --> 00:37:54,960 So this man, Spiro, is your lover? No. 563 00:37:56,800 --> 00:37:58,960 His wife would have to die first. 564 00:37:58,960 --> 00:38:01,960 Do you want me to do anything about it? 565 00:38:01,960 --> 00:38:02,960 Don't joke! 566 00:38:02,960 --> 00:38:04,960 Anyway, you'd only miss. 567 00:38:07,800 --> 00:38:09,640 You know I... 568 00:38:09,640 --> 00:38:13,480 used to confide in Spiro in a way I can't even with Larry, 569 00:38:13,480 --> 00:38:15,960 or anyone. 570 00:38:15,960 --> 00:38:16,960 So I feel adrift. 571 00:38:18,960 --> 00:38:22,800 The guesthouse was supposed to give me purpose. 572 00:38:22,800 --> 00:38:24,480 And we all need purpose, don't we? 573 00:38:24,480 --> 00:38:28,960 Keep your family safe and well, overthrow a government. 574 00:38:29,960 --> 00:38:31,960 Change the world with a novel. 575 00:38:32,960 --> 00:38:34,800 Love animals. 576 00:38:38,960 --> 00:38:41,960 You're a terribly good listener. Oh, yes, I've been told. 577 00:38:46,960 --> 00:38:48,960 Spiro is such a lovely man. 578 00:38:50,960 --> 00:38:53,960 But we can't be together. Why? 579 00:38:55,960 --> 00:38:57,960 I know he wants to be with me. 580 00:39:00,960 --> 00:39:02,960 He should be rescuing me as well as you. 581 00:39:10,960 --> 00:39:14,320 Thank you. You must talk to him again, 582 00:39:14,320 --> 00:39:16,960 for your own sanity. 583 00:39:16,960 --> 00:39:17,960 And then who knows? 584 00:39:18,960 --> 00:39:21,640 Be kinder to yourself. 585 00:39:23,800 --> 00:39:25,960 It's the classic cleft stick. 586 00:39:25,960 --> 00:39:28,960 How do you fight the authoritarian state? 587 00:39:28,960 --> 00:39:31,960 Brutally, then you're playing their game. 588 00:39:31,960 --> 00:39:33,960 I hope they haven't fallen off the cliff. 589 00:39:33,960 --> 00:39:35,960 Passively, well, then you're a de facto supporter 590 00:39:35,960 --> 00:39:37,960 and an apologist. Too many words. 591 00:39:37,960 --> 00:39:40,640 The more I think about it, the closer Vangelatos and I are. 592 00:39:40,640 --> 00:39:43,480 My novels are bullets bringing down the forces 593 00:39:43,480 --> 00:39:44,960 of literary oppression. 594 00:39:44,960 --> 00:39:46,480 That's balls! Are they really? 595 00:39:46,480 --> 00:39:48,960 But books are actually important! 596 00:39:48,960 --> 00:39:52,960 So I've recced and I don't think we're being watched. 597 00:39:52,960 --> 00:39:55,000 Larry, find Spiro, see what's happening with that boat. 598 00:39:55,000 --> 00:39:56,800 So I said, I may be a solicitor 599 00:39:56,800 --> 00:39:57,960 but if you prick us, do we not bleed? 600 00:39:57,960 --> 00:39:59,960 Basil, Lugaretzia, dancers. 601 00:39:59,960 --> 00:40:02,960 If the police arrive, tell them we have gone on a picnic. 602 00:40:02,960 --> 00:40:04,960 You don't know where. What shall I do? 603 00:40:04,960 --> 00:40:07,160 Put the owl down. Oh, no, don't do that! 604 00:40:07,160 --> 00:40:09,960 No, put the owl down. Right, with you. 605 00:40:09,960 --> 00:40:13,960 We'll go to the cove in case something's gone wrong. 606 00:40:13,960 --> 00:40:15,640 Leslie is like handsome general. 607 00:40:19,000 --> 00:40:20,960 I've not been included again, have I? 608 00:40:22,960 --> 00:40:24,960 Do you ever feel like you have outgrown your family? 609 00:40:34,320 --> 00:40:36,960 There they are. We brought food and water. 610 00:40:39,160 --> 00:40:40,960 Here, you'll need these for your journey. 611 00:40:40,960 --> 00:40:42,160 Not, not now. 612 00:40:47,960 --> 00:40:49,960 Look! Where? 613 00:40:49,960 --> 00:40:52,960 I can't see it. Kestrel. Just above the headland. 614 00:40:54,960 --> 00:40:56,960 But, there is something... 615 00:41:05,960 --> 00:41:06,960 Come on... 616 00:41:21,960 --> 00:41:23,160 Ah, just in time to say goodbye. 617 00:41:29,960 --> 00:41:32,960 Spiro, what can I say? Nothing. 618 00:41:32,960 --> 00:41:35,960 I think he's on his way to Malta. Spiro... 619 00:41:37,960 --> 00:41:40,960 Sell it! You'll need money to survive. 620 00:41:40,960 --> 00:41:42,960 The owner owes me favour. 621 00:41:44,960 --> 00:41:47,960 Goodbye. This is a sad moment. 622 00:41:47,960 --> 00:41:49,960 You bloody liar. 623 00:41:54,960 --> 00:41:57,480 I brought you a fascinating book to read on your journey. 624 00:41:57,480 --> 00:42:00,960 It's about even-toed ungulates. 625 00:42:00,960 --> 00:42:02,960 Thank you! What a treat! 626 00:42:02,960 --> 00:42:04,960 Don't get them muddled up with the odd-toed ungulates. 627 00:42:04,960 --> 00:42:06,960 Shut up, Gerry, my turn. 628 00:42:06,960 --> 00:42:09,960 It's very old but you might need it. No. 629 00:42:09,960 --> 00:42:12,960 I am a pacifist now. That's a bit of an overreaction. 630 00:42:12,960 --> 00:42:14,480 If there is war, 631 00:42:14,480 --> 00:42:16,960 we'll have to get used to these sorts of ordeals. 632 00:42:16,960 --> 00:42:19,960 Crisscrossing the Mediterranean to search for safety. 633 00:42:19,960 --> 00:42:22,960 Please come to the house in an hour. 634 00:42:30,960 --> 00:42:32,640 UPLIFTING MUSIC 635 00:42:34,000 --> 00:42:35,960 Bye! 636 00:42:49,160 --> 00:42:53,960 It's too sad being strangers. I know. 637 00:42:53,960 --> 00:42:54,960 Can we stop? 638 00:42:56,960 --> 00:42:57,960 Yes, please. 639 00:42:59,960 --> 00:43:03,960 Goodbye! Goodbye! 640 00:43:10,960 --> 00:43:12,960 How did it go? Beautifully. 641 00:43:12,960 --> 00:43:15,960 Mr Vangelatos is on his way to safety. 642 00:43:15,960 --> 00:43:18,960 As sole guest, you have my full attention, Basil. 643 00:43:18,960 --> 00:43:21,960 Well, in fact, I realise I've been a goon and a swine 644 00:43:21,960 --> 00:43:24,000 so I... we wanted to thank you. 645 00:43:24,000 --> 00:43:25,960 For putting up with us. 646 00:43:25,960 --> 00:43:28,960 Ta-da! 647 00:43:28,960 --> 00:43:30,480 Well, I'm touched. 648 00:43:30,480 --> 00:43:33,960 Ah, not you! Just your mummy. 649 00:43:33,960 --> 00:43:36,640 Now, I know some of you have your doubts 650 00:43:36,640 --> 00:43:39,960 about Ulysses' intelligence and suitability 651 00:43:39,960 --> 00:43:42,960 as a mascot of my zoo, given his history of vomiting. 652 00:43:42,960 --> 00:43:47,960 But, prepare to be disabused. Ooh, good vocabulary. 653 00:43:47,960 --> 00:43:49,960 Thank you. Come on, boy. 654 00:43:49,960 --> 00:43:52,640 Yeah... OWL SCREECHES 655 00:43:57,160 --> 00:43:59,960 Ulysses, come on... 656 00:44:00,960 --> 00:44:01,960 Hup! 657 00:44:04,960 --> 00:44:07,960 Ulysses... hup! 658 00:44:07,960 --> 00:44:11,960 Ta-da! Hmm... 659 00:44:11,960 --> 00:44:16,640 Margo, where were you? Don't worry about me. 660 00:44:16,640 --> 00:44:20,000 I've been planning my life. Did Vang make it? 661 00:44:20,000 --> 00:44:22,480 Yes, he's headed for Malta. Oh, thank God. 662 00:44:22,480 --> 00:44:25,960 As I wasn't there to wish him well, I did this for him. 663 00:44:25,960 --> 00:44:27,960 Come on, sweetheart. 664 00:44:30,960 --> 00:44:32,480 LAUGHTER 665 00:44:32,480 --> 00:44:33,960 SHEEP BAAS BASIL: Good Lord. 666 00:44:33,960 --> 00:44:36,960 I made the hair dye myself. 667 00:44:36,960 --> 00:44:40,960 Red for revolution, white for peace. Never mind that revolution crap, 668 00:44:40,960 --> 00:44:43,000 those are the colours of good old St George. 669 00:44:43,000 --> 00:44:44,960 Don't gang up. 670 00:44:44,960 --> 00:44:47,960 We love Margo. Sorry, darling. Have a bun. 671 00:44:47,960 --> 00:44:52,480 You can't fob me off this time. I'm opening a salon in Corfu Town. 672 00:44:52,480 --> 00:44:54,960 My life's about to begin. No, Margo, 673 00:44:54,960 --> 00:44:57,960 you can't make big announcements. Why not? 674 00:44:57,960 --> 00:44:59,800 Because I am. I'm moving out. 675 00:45:00,960 --> 00:45:02,960 Spiro's going to drive me up to Kalami. 676 00:45:02,960 --> 00:45:06,960 What? No! Why, where? 677 00:45:06,960 --> 00:45:09,960 It's up the coast, it's paradise, nothing to do but write. 678 00:45:09,960 --> 00:45:11,960 Despite what you may think, 679 00:45:11,960 --> 00:45:13,960 I take my art seriously. Sorry. 680 00:45:13,960 --> 00:45:16,960 Sorry. I'll write letters, 681 00:45:16,960 --> 00:45:18,480 brilliant letters. 682 00:45:24,160 --> 00:45:28,960 Oh, look, Spiro. Back the way it used to be. 683 00:45:39,480 --> 00:45:42,960 Margo's gone! We must search the island. 684 00:45:42,960 --> 00:45:45,640 There's a mad colonel staying with us and he's paying Leslie 685 00:45:45,640 --> 00:45:46,960 to take him to kill wild boar. 686 00:45:46,960 --> 00:45:47,960 So we're going to stop them. Good. 687 00:45:47,960 --> 00:45:50,960 I will come back tomorrow. Tomorrow? 688 00:45:50,960 --> 00:45:52,960 You've got a woman, haven't you? 689 00:45:52,960 --> 00:45:54,960 You have a wife you want to keep and me here 690 00:45:54,960 --> 00:45:56,320 waiting for you just in case. 691 00:45:56,320 --> 00:45:57,960 Cuddle an animal today! 692 00:45:57,960 --> 00:45:59,960 GONG 693 00:45:59,960 --> 00:46:00,960 BANG 694 00:46:00,960 --> 00:46:02,960 Subtitles by TVT