1 00:00:03,973 --> 00:00:05,971 WOMAN CRIES OUT IN PAIN 2 00:00:09,010 --> 00:00:11,973 UNDER HER BREATH: Ah agle mou, Spirithona. 3 00:00:12,008 --> 00:00:14,931 - Oh, parcel. - Ah. 4 00:00:14,966 --> 00:00:17,964 Riches from my tailor, Mr Jakeways. 5 00:00:21,962 --> 00:00:24,765 I saw Daphne with her baby, for the first time. 6 00:00:24,800 --> 00:00:25,924 Oh, darling. 7 00:00:25,959 --> 00:00:30,921 I want my own family. I'm 20, that's a good age to start. 8 00:00:30,956 --> 00:00:33,919 It isn't really. You can't even vote, 9 00:00:33,954 --> 00:00:35,918 and you've got... well, how much money? 10 00:00:35,953 --> 00:00:39,916 - In financial terms? - No, in bananas. 11 00:00:39,951 --> 00:00:41,950 Well, as a man in my prime, I'm ready. 12 00:00:42,949 --> 00:00:44,913 Bulls start at the age of one. 13 00:00:44,948 --> 00:00:46,912 Well, you're not a bull, you help run a guesthouse. 14 00:00:46,947 --> 00:00:48,910 And I need you here, while Larry's gone. 15 00:00:48,945 --> 00:00:51,909 And Margo say she will leave soon. 16 00:00:51,944 --> 00:00:53,907 What? Well, that's absurd. 17 00:00:53,942 --> 00:00:57,905 That's like releasing a dotty kitten into the jungle. 18 00:00:57,940 --> 00:01:00,903 And that's why she wants to go, because you think she's a clot. 19 00:01:00,938 --> 00:01:02,902 I don't think she's a clot! 20 00:01:02,937 --> 00:01:07,899 She's just not ready for the real world of normal human interaction. 21 00:01:07,934 --> 00:01:09,933 Oh! Ah! 22 00:01:11,931 --> 00:01:14,895 - Lugaretzia, please, go home. - I go home. 23 00:01:14,930 --> 00:01:18,927 Go home and rest your bad back or your bottom or whatever it is. 24 00:01:20,926 --> 00:01:24,889 - What do you think? - Does Mr Toad know you have his clothes? 25 00:01:24,924 --> 00:01:28,726 Louisa, I love your cruelty. 26 00:01:28,761 --> 00:01:30,885 Well, that's good, there's plenty more where that came from. 27 00:01:30,920 --> 00:01:32,884 CAR APPROACHES 28 00:01:32,919 --> 00:01:34,918 - CAR HORN - Oh. 29 00:01:35,917 --> 00:01:38,081 - Martin crapped on me. - Oh. - My fault. 30 00:01:38,116 --> 00:01:40,914 PIG SQUEALS 31 00:01:46,910 --> 00:01:48,909 You must be Mrs Durrells. 32 00:01:50,948 --> 00:01:55,870 - You come highly recommended. - Ah, well, how nice. 33 00:01:55,905 --> 00:01:58,868 - Durrell, in fact. - Do you have a room for me? 34 00:01:58,903 --> 00:02:01,901 I do. The penthouse on the top floor. 35 00:02:03,900 --> 00:02:06,863 What is this, a ruddy zoo? 36 00:02:06,898 --> 00:02:08,862 Yes, I suppose it is. 37 00:02:08,897 --> 00:02:11,935 Don't get romantic with him. He's not your type. 38 00:03:02,225 --> 00:03:05,828 The Colonel loves guns, so you two will get on well, Leslie. 39 00:03:05,863 --> 00:03:08,061 In fact, I've moved on from shooting. 40 00:03:11,859 --> 00:03:12,823 Although that is quite something. 41 00:03:12,858 --> 00:03:16,536 Margo's gone. Sorry about the poo. 42 00:03:20,853 --> 00:03:23,817 'Dear Mother, I know you'd try to make me stay, 43 00:03:23,852 --> 00:03:25,815 'so I've been smuggling out my possessions. 44 00:03:25,850 --> 00:03:28,814 'I'll be at a secret location in Corfu. 45 00:03:28,849 --> 00:03:30,812 'I'll be in touch when settled.' 46 00:03:30,847 --> 00:03:32,846 - Where's Margo gone? - She won't say. 47 00:03:33,846 --> 00:03:36,809 Well, this is terrible. We must search the island. 48 00:03:36,844 --> 00:03:40,806 No! We all run off when we're nippers. 49 00:03:40,841 --> 00:03:42,805 - How old is she? - 18. 50 00:03:42,840 --> 00:03:45,803 - Well, it's time she left then. - Yes, it'll be all right. 51 00:03:45,838 --> 00:03:48,322 - Do her good. - Your job's done. 52 00:03:48,357 --> 00:03:53,639 What do all you men know? I'm... sad as a mother, 53 00:03:53,674 --> 00:03:55,872 as a woman, frankly, I'm feeling outnumbered. 54 00:04:03,827 --> 00:04:06,471 Then I went over the top in Wipers... 55 00:04:06,506 --> 00:04:07,790 - and... - LAUGHS 56 00:04:07,825 --> 00:04:10,024 - ..copped a Blighty. - What? 57 00:04:11,503 --> 00:04:13,786 He fought at Ypres and was invalided home. 58 00:04:13,821 --> 00:04:16,785 Still got a crotch full of shrapnel. 59 00:04:16,820 --> 00:04:19,783 I can't have magnets in the house. 60 00:04:19,818 --> 00:04:21,782 Louisa doesn't want to hear the word "crotch". 61 00:04:21,817 --> 00:04:24,780 No, it's fine, I am familiar with the concept. 62 00:04:24,815 --> 00:04:27,778 Well, don't let me harp on about the war. 63 00:04:27,813 --> 00:04:28,777 Or should I? 64 00:04:28,812 --> 00:04:29,777 No. 65 00:04:29,812 --> 00:04:32,775 The time I got a bayonet up my jacksie in the Bosphorus, anyone? 66 00:04:32,810 --> 00:04:36,773 - I thought you liked war. - Nobody sane likes war. 67 00:04:36,808 --> 00:04:39,451 I believe in protecting one's loved ones, 68 00:04:39,486 --> 00:04:41,770 if one's lucky enough to have any. 69 00:04:41,805 --> 00:04:44,768 Well, the Hun are up to their old tricks. 70 00:04:44,803 --> 00:04:46,767 Clearly, I didn't kill enough last time. 71 00:04:46,802 --> 00:04:49,445 Austria's gone, who's next? 72 00:04:49,480 --> 00:04:51,764 I've decided there won't be a new war. 73 00:04:51,798 --> 00:04:53,762 Good girl. 74 00:04:53,797 --> 00:04:55,761 Little bit over familiar. 75 00:04:55,796 --> 00:04:57,760 I've been here for months, I've earned it. 76 00:04:57,795 --> 00:05:00,758 We have a super rapport. 77 00:05:00,793 --> 00:05:03,956 Anyway, I've recently left the army 78 00:05:03,991 --> 00:05:07,754 and I'd rather like to try my hand at hunting. 79 00:05:07,789 --> 00:05:10,752 - Oh no, don't do that. - Why not? 80 00:05:10,787 --> 00:05:13,750 Only an idiot would kill an animal for fun. 81 00:05:13,785 --> 00:05:15,749 And I'm sure you're not an idiot. 82 00:05:15,784 --> 00:05:17,783 Gerry, don't be rude to our paying guests. 83 00:05:22,780 --> 00:05:26,977 Your family, is it me, or is it slightly falling apart? 84 00:05:44,766 --> 00:05:47,410 I love it here, Theo, thanks for letting me stay. 85 00:05:47,445 --> 00:05:48,764 No, it's good for me. 86 00:05:50,763 --> 00:05:53,726 I'm a creature of routine, which is terrible. 87 00:05:53,761 --> 00:05:56,085 Me and my perfectly symmetrical room. 88 00:05:56,120 --> 00:05:57,724 Break it up! 89 00:05:57,759 --> 00:06:00,722 But let me tell your mother you're here. 90 00:06:00,757 --> 00:06:02,721 - She's anxious. - No, don't you dare. 91 00:06:02,756 --> 00:06:06,918 Oh, I bought these yesterday in the market. 92 00:06:06,953 --> 00:06:09,716 They'll help me inspire my new beauty business. 93 00:06:09,751 --> 00:06:11,750 Let's take this old codger down. 94 00:06:15,748 --> 00:06:17,427 Isn't it gorgeous? 95 00:06:18,746 --> 00:06:20,910 You don't mind, do you? 96 00:06:20,945 --> 00:06:22,743 Thanks, Theo. 97 00:06:37,734 --> 00:06:39,733 FOOTSTEPS APPROACHING 98 00:06:41,732 --> 00:06:45,695 I hear you're a gun wallah. Let's go hunting. 99 00:06:45,730 --> 00:06:47,533 No, I've left that behind me. 100 00:06:47,568 --> 00:06:49,692 I want a solid career so I can have a family and... 101 00:06:49,727 --> 00:06:51,691 I'll pay you handsomely. 102 00:06:51,726 --> 00:06:55,729 Now, what's the big game on Corfu? 103 00:06:55,763 --> 00:06:58,687 Well, the biggest prize is wild boar, but they're hard to find. 104 00:06:58,722 --> 00:07:00,686 Good! You sort that out then. 105 00:07:00,720 --> 00:07:03,719 And I'll have my money back if it's a washout. 106 00:07:15,711 --> 00:07:17,675 KNOCK 107 00:07:17,710 --> 00:07:20,229 - Yeah. - DOOR OPENS 108 00:07:21,548 --> 00:07:22,672 Evening. 109 00:07:22,707 --> 00:07:25,670 Did you know that insects don't have circulatory blood systems? 110 00:07:25,705 --> 00:07:27,189 Right. 111 00:07:27,224 --> 00:07:30,188 Their organs bathe in chambers of blood, 112 00:07:30,223 --> 00:07:32,666 it's usually green or yellow. 113 00:07:32,701 --> 00:07:35,699 I... need to confide in someone. 114 00:07:37,698 --> 00:07:39,697 - Leslie's downstairs. - No, he'd be useless. 115 00:07:41,696 --> 00:07:43,694 - The Colonel's... - I'd rather die. 116 00:07:44,694 --> 00:07:47,657 - Mother's somewhere. - It's her I want to talk about. 117 00:07:47,692 --> 00:07:49,656 Because I'm... finding, 118 00:07:49,691 --> 00:07:52,689 to my surprise, that I... 119 00:07:54,048 --> 00:07:55,687 ..well... 120 00:07:56,687 --> 00:07:57,686 I love her. 121 00:08:01,684 --> 00:08:03,687 - I love her, too. - Not the way I love her. 122 00:08:03,722 --> 00:08:05,681 Like a burning... 123 00:08:06,681 --> 00:08:08,679 ..house. 124 00:08:10,678 --> 00:08:12,642 When locusts fail to find a mate 125 00:08:12,677 --> 00:08:14,641 they travel, often for thousands of miles... 126 00:08:14,676 --> 00:08:17,639 Can we, for once, not relate everything to creepy crawlies? 127 00:08:17,674 --> 00:08:20,672 Based on your knowledge of your mum... 128 00:08:22,671 --> 00:08:26,668 ..d'you have any hints or tips re unlocking her heart? 129 00:08:30,666 --> 00:08:34,664 - You haven't a hope in hell. Sorry. - Well... 130 00:08:38,661 --> 00:08:40,660 There's a challenge. 131 00:08:43,658 --> 00:08:45,622 'Dear Ma and the sibling horde, 132 00:08:45,657 --> 00:08:47,621 'I'm perched up here in the North 133 00:08:47,656 --> 00:08:50,139 'which cascades serenity 134 00:08:50,174 --> 00:08:52,618 'when I'm not hammering sentences into being.' 135 00:08:52,653 --> 00:08:56,650 Oh, Larry. Please relax, it's me. 136 00:08:57,650 --> 00:09:00,613 - 'How are the kids?' - That's better. 137 00:09:00,648 --> 00:09:03,611 'I miss them, and you, of course. 138 00:09:03,646 --> 00:09:07,609 'My dancer girls have left to prance professionally in Athens, 139 00:09:07,644 --> 00:09:10,642 'but I am writing like a hungry fish. Are you happy? 140 00:09:11,641 --> 00:09:15,604 'Knowing you, and I do, you will concede only, 141 00:09:15,639 --> 00:09:19,477 '"Partly happy with risk of scattered doubts, heavy at times."' 142 00:09:22,675 --> 00:09:25,598 Larry's letters make me sad too. 143 00:09:25,633 --> 00:09:27,597 But that's because they're gibberish. 144 00:09:27,632 --> 00:09:32,114 I miss him. And Margo, of course, as one misses a.... 145 00:09:32,149 --> 00:09:34,273 ..dotty kitten who's run off into the jungle 146 00:09:34,308 --> 00:09:37,626 - even though she's not ready for the real world or... - All right. 147 00:09:38,625 --> 00:09:42,428 But over the years, I've grown used to confiding in Larry. 148 00:09:42,463 --> 00:09:46,585 And Spiros, although he and I are rebuilding our friendship 149 00:09:46,620 --> 00:09:48,619 - since, well, you know... - Yes. 150 00:09:51,617 --> 00:09:55,580 Well, I'm mature, and financially secure 151 00:09:55,615 --> 00:09:57,578 now I'm running the Colonel's hunts. 152 00:09:57,613 --> 00:09:59,577 You don't need Larry or Spiros. 153 00:09:59,612 --> 00:10:03,255 I'm your confidant now. Guiding your every move. 154 00:10:03,290 --> 00:10:05,609 Your worries are at an end. 155 00:10:18,601 --> 00:10:19,600 Sorry. 156 00:10:37,629 --> 00:10:41,552 - Spiros, have you seen Margo anywhere? - No. 157 00:10:41,587 --> 00:10:44,585 You worry too much. You should stop that. 158 00:10:45,584 --> 00:10:47,548 Spiros, things don't seem to be getting back 159 00:10:47,583 --> 00:10:50,546 - to how they were between us. - No, you're tense. 160 00:10:50,581 --> 00:10:53,545 Well, yes, I am, because I, I... 161 00:10:53,580 --> 00:10:58,542 You are alone in the house with lots of men. It's not healthy. 162 00:10:58,577 --> 00:11:01,540 I will have as many men in the house as I need to pay the bills. 163 00:11:01,575 --> 00:11:05,537 Lying around in hammocks in their underwear if they wish. 164 00:11:05,572 --> 00:11:09,535 I'm just saying, make it clear you're not interested in them. 165 00:11:09,570 --> 00:11:12,568 I'm not interested in them! 166 00:11:13,568 --> 00:11:17,210 Drop in any time and see for yourself. 167 00:11:17,245 --> 00:11:19,404 I may do that. 168 00:11:31,077 --> 00:11:35,359 My husband is away a lot, and not reliable, 169 00:11:35,394 --> 00:11:37,553 but we are trying to make a good marriage. 170 00:11:38,552 --> 00:11:40,551 I'm going to love having a baby. 171 00:11:41,910 --> 00:11:44,909 - Do you have a girlfriend? - No, I'm waiting for you. 172 00:11:46,548 --> 00:11:49,511 That's not fair. For you or anyone. 173 00:11:49,546 --> 00:11:51,545 Maybe, who knows. 174 00:11:53,543 --> 00:11:55,542 She likes you. 175 00:11:56,542 --> 00:11:59,505 But you can leave her and go home and sleep. 176 00:11:59,540 --> 00:12:01,504 I'll babysit if you want a rest. 177 00:12:01,539 --> 00:12:05,501 You would? My father says men do not look after babies. 178 00:12:05,536 --> 00:12:08,499 Well, I'm the new kind of man. Who's sensitive to women, 179 00:12:08,534 --> 00:12:10,498 whilst remaining manly in the extreme. 180 00:12:10,533 --> 00:12:12,497 Leslie Durrell. 181 00:12:12,532 --> 00:12:15,495 - Oh, Mr Likourgos. - What are you doing these days? 182 00:12:15,530 --> 00:12:18,493 I have an exciting new venture, organising hunting trips. 183 00:12:18,528 --> 00:12:20,492 Where is the best place to hunt wild boar? 184 00:12:20,527 --> 00:12:24,490 The woods at Evropouli. I own the hunting licence. 185 00:12:24,525 --> 00:12:28,487 - You can shoot wild boar there. - Oh, thank you. 186 00:12:28,522 --> 00:12:29,522 For you, not expensive. 187 00:12:33,519 --> 00:12:36,038 Fine. How much? 188 00:12:51,029 --> 00:12:53,472 - Might I... - SCREAMS 189 00:12:53,507 --> 00:12:55,151 Apologies. 190 00:12:55,186 --> 00:12:57,505 Erm... Might I help? 191 00:12:59,503 --> 00:13:01,502 Yes, you can wash up. 192 00:13:04,500 --> 00:13:06,499 - There you are. - Oh! 193 00:13:07,499 --> 00:13:10,462 My tailor, Mr Jakeways, would faint 194 00:13:10,497 --> 00:13:12,496 if he saw me mixing textures like this. 195 00:13:14,854 --> 00:13:17,458 I've never actually done this before. 196 00:13:17,493 --> 00:13:19,456 Oh, it's great fun. 197 00:13:19,491 --> 00:13:21,455 If you're very good, you can build a new lavatory pit. 198 00:13:21,490 --> 00:13:23,489 Ha-ha. 199 00:13:26,487 --> 00:13:27,487 Are you all right? 200 00:13:31,484 --> 00:13:35,806 Do you think my family is falling apart, as the Colonel said? 201 00:13:35,841 --> 00:13:40,644 No! I mean I know... one's left and one's missing 202 00:13:40,679 --> 00:13:43,442 and the other two hate each other, but, er... 203 00:13:43,477 --> 00:13:46,475 So, Louisa... 204 00:13:47,474 --> 00:13:50,438 - Mm. - What are your... 205 00:13:50,473 --> 00:13:52,471 Oh, look, I've made it clean. 206 00:13:57,468 --> 00:14:00,432 - What are your favourite things? - Why do you ask? 207 00:14:00,467 --> 00:14:02,465 No reason. Come on! 208 00:14:04,464 --> 00:14:07,502 Erm... Dancing. 209 00:14:09,461 --> 00:14:12,784 Er, bridge, seafood... ooh! 210 00:14:12,819 --> 00:14:15,423 Dandie Dinmont dogs, 211 00:14:15,457 --> 00:14:17,421 - my children being happy... - That's enough. 212 00:14:17,456 --> 00:14:20,454 Shh. 213 00:14:32,447 --> 00:14:34,446 My copepods! 214 00:14:41,442 --> 00:14:45,444 Honestly, Theo, why are people so selfish and insensitive? 215 00:14:45,479 --> 00:14:48,403 It's not deliberate. We are just different. 216 00:14:48,438 --> 00:14:51,401 - You don't know what I'm talking about. - Oh, I see. 217 00:14:51,436 --> 00:14:54,434 Our new guest, Colonel Ribbidane, has... 218 00:14:56,113 --> 00:14:58,631 - Have you got guests? - No, no. 219 00:15:00,430 --> 00:15:03,393 So this preposterous Colonel arrives with his war chest, 220 00:15:03,428 --> 00:15:06,072 and he and Leslie are planning to slaughter wild boar. 221 00:15:06,107 --> 00:15:09,070 Well, tell Leslie how strongly you feel. 222 00:15:09,105 --> 00:15:12,388 He's so much more thoughtful these days. 223 00:15:12,423 --> 00:15:14,387 What's this? 224 00:15:14,422 --> 00:15:19,419 I'm.... experimenting with more colour in my wardrobe. 225 00:15:20,618 --> 00:15:23,416 You've got a woman, haven't you? 226 00:15:25,415 --> 00:15:29,378 Yes, I have. But don't tell anyone. 227 00:15:29,413 --> 00:15:31,931 Honestly, Theo, it's about time, we were all wondering. 228 00:15:33,410 --> 00:15:35,374 Who is it? Is she young? 229 00:15:35,409 --> 00:15:37,408 Is she a scientist, but a sexy one? 230 00:15:45,403 --> 00:15:47,402 It's Margo. 231 00:15:50,400 --> 00:15:53,363 Yes, it's Margo. She's only staying here. 232 00:15:53,398 --> 00:15:55,402 - Well, I know that. - But don't tell your mother. 233 00:15:55,437 --> 00:15:58,395 Margo is desperate to discover more about herself. 234 00:15:59,594 --> 00:16:02,393 I miss her, but she's not easy to live with, is she? 235 00:16:16,744 --> 00:16:19,547 Colonel, I've secured the perfect private woodland 236 00:16:19,582 --> 00:16:22,381 - for hunting wild boar. - Good man. 237 00:16:24,380 --> 00:16:25,379 Sit. 238 00:16:27,378 --> 00:16:33,054 Now, when I'm shooting with a man I like to know what makes him tick. 239 00:16:34,373 --> 00:16:35,538 Answer? 240 00:16:35,573 --> 00:16:38,696 Well, I, er, like to think I'm a decent sort. 241 00:16:38,731 --> 00:16:42,334 I hold this place together... with my mother. 242 00:16:42,369 --> 00:16:47,331 What's this I hear about you pining for some girl and a baby? 243 00:16:47,366 --> 00:16:49,329 - Well, yes... - I've nothing against the dainty sex. 244 00:16:49,364 --> 00:16:51,328 I've been married at least once and they did their best, 245 00:16:51,363 --> 00:16:55,326 but if we're going hunting together, let's keep it... 246 00:16:55,361 --> 00:16:57,325 red blooded. 247 00:16:57,360 --> 00:17:01,357 Don't worry, when the time comes, I'll be cocked and ready to go. 248 00:17:03,356 --> 00:17:05,355 A word, please. 249 00:17:06,354 --> 00:17:07,354 Excuse me. 250 00:17:12,350 --> 00:17:15,314 - Please don't go hunting. - Oh, don't be so sentimental. 251 00:17:15,349 --> 00:17:18,312 Compared to how animals kill each other, shooting them is humane. 252 00:17:18,347 --> 00:17:22,309 Cornering animals and executing them is not humane. 253 00:17:22,344 --> 00:17:24,183 It's a wood, there are no corners. 254 00:17:25,343 --> 00:17:27,701 Gerry, this is work. The Colonel's paying me. 255 00:17:30,340 --> 00:17:31,304 All right, I'll save up 256 00:17:31,339 --> 00:17:33,303 and I'll match what he's paying you. How much is it? 257 00:17:33,338 --> 00:17:36,336 £25. For one week. 258 00:17:41,333 --> 00:17:45,136 I'm going to put a wave in your hair like Jean Harlow. 259 00:17:45,171 --> 00:17:46,295 Why? 260 00:17:46,330 --> 00:17:49,133 We owe it to the world to be as beautiful as possible. 261 00:17:49,168 --> 00:17:51,292 In case you're worried I'm just a silly girl, 262 00:17:51,327 --> 00:17:53,291 I worked at Theo's x-ray unit for two years. 263 00:17:53,326 --> 00:17:55,809 So I know what I'm doing. 264 00:17:55,844 --> 00:17:59,322 The curling tongs need to be nice and warm to put a wave in your hair. 265 00:18:00,361 --> 00:18:02,680 DOOR OPENS 266 00:18:06,318 --> 00:18:07,997 Sorry I'm late. 267 00:18:09,316 --> 00:18:13,279 Mr Stephanides is my salon assistant for the day. 268 00:18:13,314 --> 00:18:16,277 One can't have enough strings to one's bow, can one? 269 00:18:16,312 --> 00:18:19,275 WHISPERING 270 00:18:19,310 --> 00:18:21,274 Is there a difficulty? 271 00:18:21,309 --> 00:18:23,273 We were wondering whether your hair is so lovely 272 00:18:23,308 --> 00:18:25,306 we should leave it as it is. 273 00:18:34,301 --> 00:18:35,300 Oh! 274 00:18:37,299 --> 00:18:40,622 Or treat this visit as an initial consultation 275 00:18:40,657 --> 00:18:44,295 - and do some research and reconvene. - What a good idea. 276 00:18:47,293 --> 00:18:50,256 Herete, Galini. 277 00:18:50,291 --> 00:18:52,290 - Gerry, pos eisai? - Kala, efharisto. 278 00:18:55,288 --> 00:18:57,252 - Something bad is happening. - Really? 279 00:18:57,287 --> 00:19:00,250 And there comes a time when we need to stand up for what we believe in. 280 00:19:00,285 --> 00:19:01,250 Yes. 281 00:19:01,285 --> 00:19:03,248 What do we believe in? 282 00:19:03,283 --> 00:19:05,247 There's a mad Colonel staying with us 283 00:19:05,282 --> 00:19:08,245 and he's paying Leslie to take him to kill wild boar. 284 00:19:08,280 --> 00:19:09,764 - That's terrible. - Exactly. 285 00:19:09,799 --> 00:19:12,243 - So we're going to stop them. - Good. 286 00:19:12,278 --> 00:19:14,242 Well, I am. 287 00:19:14,277 --> 00:19:16,241 You probably better stay back and watch me take the bullet. 288 00:19:16,276 --> 00:19:19,274 No, we die together. 289 00:19:28,268 --> 00:19:30,232 Leslie! 290 00:19:30,267 --> 00:19:33,230 Household items and provisions for your hunting expedition. 291 00:19:33,265 --> 00:19:35,229 Ah, thank you, Spiros. 292 00:19:35,264 --> 00:19:38,227 I hear you plan to hunt in the woods with Mr Likourgos. 293 00:19:38,262 --> 00:19:40,226 Yes, it's good for wild boar. 294 00:19:40,261 --> 00:19:43,224 - Well, in fact, it isn't. - What? 295 00:19:43,259 --> 00:19:46,222 Mr Likourgos is pulling a fast one. 296 00:19:46,257 --> 00:19:49,221 - Where does that saying come from? - Er, I don't know. 297 00:19:49,256 --> 00:19:50,220 What do you mean? 298 00:19:50,255 --> 00:19:53,218 There are no wild boars in that forest... 299 00:19:53,253 --> 00:19:56,576 or anywhere for miles. And he doesn't own the licence, 300 00:19:56,611 --> 00:19:59,250 - it's common land. - Argh! 301 00:20:07,245 --> 00:20:10,243 - Mrs Durrells. - Mr Hakiaopulos. 302 00:20:11,242 --> 00:20:13,566 Keen to check I'm not flirting with all my menfolk? 303 00:20:13,601 --> 00:20:15,725 Of course not. 304 00:20:15,760 --> 00:20:21,201 I saw your Basil in town, buying a big gift, probably for you. 305 00:20:21,236 --> 00:20:23,200 Knowing Basil, it'll be for him. 306 00:20:23,235 --> 00:20:26,198 - Anyone seen my swimming hat? - You need a hat to swim? 307 00:20:26,233 --> 00:20:28,592 Oh! You're looking good enough to scoff. 308 00:20:30,231 --> 00:20:31,555 He's never said anything like that before. 309 00:20:31,590 --> 00:20:33,229 Uh-huh. 310 00:20:34,428 --> 00:20:36,192 I loved our chat yesterday. 311 00:20:36,227 --> 00:20:40,225 Thank you for opening up to me so deliciously. 312 00:20:44,222 --> 00:20:47,420 Now you see why I wonder? Have they tried to seduce you? 313 00:20:49,219 --> 00:20:51,183 No. And that's not fair, 314 00:20:51,218 --> 00:20:53,182 Spiros, after all we've been through. 315 00:20:53,217 --> 00:20:55,181 And it's me who should be jealous. 316 00:20:55,216 --> 00:20:57,214 You're the one with a full bed to go home to. 317 00:21:18,042 --> 00:21:19,201 What's wrong? 318 00:21:20,201 --> 00:21:22,844 - Nothing. - Don't "nothing" me. 319 00:21:22,879 --> 00:21:24,163 You confide in me, remember? 320 00:21:24,198 --> 00:21:27,196 I'm the new Larry, but less pretentious. Come on. 321 00:21:31,194 --> 00:21:35,191 Spiros is jealous and what's the point as we can't be together? 322 00:21:37,190 --> 00:21:40,153 Well, that's why he's jealous. 323 00:21:40,188 --> 00:21:43,152 Well, in my experience, throwing oneself into hard, vigorous work 324 00:21:43,187 --> 00:21:46,150 - can help conquer heartache. - What do you think I've been doing? 325 00:21:46,185 --> 00:21:49,148 I have the hands of an ancient farmer. 326 00:21:49,183 --> 00:21:51,147 Good, you've taken that advice. 327 00:21:51,182 --> 00:21:54,825 Now, what about winning Spiros over, hm? 328 00:21:54,860 --> 00:21:57,143 Spiros is a faithful husband, 329 00:21:57,178 --> 00:21:59,177 as is right and proper. 330 00:22:00,176 --> 00:22:02,015 And rare and regrettable. 331 00:22:03,175 --> 00:22:07,172 Would his wife perhaps step aside if you were to make a good enough case? 332 00:22:08,172 --> 00:22:10,170 No, Leslie. 333 00:22:12,169 --> 00:22:15,132 No to that, fair enough. 334 00:22:15,167 --> 00:22:17,131 Well, if all three of you are unhappy 335 00:22:17,166 --> 00:22:20,164 - why not agree on some compromise? - And how would that work? 336 00:22:21,164 --> 00:22:22,163 Hm... 337 00:22:23,162 --> 00:22:26,126 I'm glad you value compromise. 338 00:22:26,161 --> 00:22:29,124 Please call off the hunt tomorrow, for Gerry's sake... 339 00:22:29,159 --> 00:22:32,122 No! I'm going to bloody do this 340 00:22:32,157 --> 00:22:34,156 and it's going to be a success. 341 00:22:51,146 --> 00:22:52,110 So I said to my mother, 342 00:22:52,145 --> 00:22:55,108 "you've never really taken me seriously, have you?" 343 00:22:55,143 --> 00:22:57,107 That is hard for a mother to hear. 344 00:22:57,142 --> 00:23:01,105 In fact, I've always enjoyed not being taken seriously, 345 00:23:01,139 --> 00:23:03,138 but as you get older, it becomes a bit unseemly. 346 00:23:05,497 --> 00:23:07,136 Now don't shout at me. 347 00:23:19,968 --> 00:23:21,092 I look nice. 348 00:23:21,127 --> 00:23:23,771 You do. 349 00:23:23,806 --> 00:23:27,089 - So how long will this last? - The wave? 350 00:23:27,124 --> 00:23:30,926 Not long. But next time I can put in a permanent one. 351 00:23:30,961 --> 00:23:35,084 - How do you do that? - Chemicals and a lot of bravery. 352 00:23:35,119 --> 00:23:37,118 If I get it wrong, all your hair falls out. 353 00:23:39,117 --> 00:23:40,116 I trust you. 354 00:23:57,625 --> 00:23:59,104 Come here. 355 00:24:01,103 --> 00:24:04,066 - Sit! Sit! - PIG SQUEALS 356 00:24:04,101 --> 00:24:06,100 Argh! Martin, come here. 357 00:24:10,098 --> 00:24:11,097 Come on, you'll look good in this. 358 00:24:12,296 --> 00:24:14,135 Here! 359 00:24:18,093 --> 00:24:21,091 PIG SQUEALS 360 00:24:26,088 --> 00:24:28,087 Oh, for God's sake. 361 00:24:49,074 --> 00:24:52,037 - Ah, morning, can I have a word? - Just off to see Galini. - Stop! 362 00:24:52,072 --> 00:24:54,036 Two things. 363 00:24:54,071 --> 00:24:58,234 If you try to interfere in the shooting, you may die, 364 00:24:58,269 --> 00:25:01,032 which would, on balance, be a waste. 365 00:25:01,067 --> 00:25:02,071 And? 366 00:25:02,106 --> 00:25:05,030 Do people know where Margo is and they're not telling me 367 00:25:05,065 --> 00:25:06,424 out of some urge to protect her? 368 00:25:07,743 --> 00:25:10,027 Well, I've protected her all her life 369 00:25:10,061 --> 00:25:12,025 - and I am the best at it. - Yes, you are. 370 00:25:12,060 --> 00:25:14,024 FOOTSTEPS 371 00:25:14,059 --> 00:25:16,063 - Thank you. - Where are you off to? 372 00:25:16,098 --> 00:25:18,701 Hunting. 373 00:25:18,736 --> 00:25:20,060 Oh. 374 00:25:20,095 --> 00:25:23,254 - Are you in a pickle of some sort? - Do you really want to know? 375 00:25:26,052 --> 00:25:28,016 No, no. 376 00:25:28,051 --> 00:25:31,014 So, we're after wild boar. 377 00:25:31,049 --> 00:25:35,011 I'm new to the hunting game, unless you count Germans. 378 00:25:35,046 --> 00:25:39,044 - Let's not. - And Turks. 379 00:25:41,043 --> 00:25:42,847 I'll get on then. 380 00:25:42,882 --> 00:25:44,880 Solid plan! Solid plan! 381 00:25:52,036 --> 00:25:54,999 - Hello, Leslie. - Daphne. And Katina, how nice. 382 00:25:55,034 --> 00:25:57,997 - I have a favour to ask. - Yeah, before you do... 383 00:25:58,032 --> 00:25:59,996 Your father's cheated me. 384 00:26:00,031 --> 00:26:01,995 I paid him to let us hunt wild boar 385 00:26:02,030 --> 00:26:03,994 and it seems there aren't any and I didn't need to. 386 00:26:04,029 --> 00:26:07,991 - Otherwise, brilliant. - I'm so sorry, I didn't know. 387 00:26:08,026 --> 00:26:10,990 - You said you may be able to babysit. - I'd love to. 388 00:26:11,025 --> 00:26:13,988 - Thank you, I have so many things to do. - Woah, woah, now? 389 00:26:14,023 --> 00:26:15,987 I'm about to leave on a wild boar hunt. 390 00:26:16,022 --> 00:26:18,345 - But you said there are no wild boar there. - Shh! 391 00:26:18,380 --> 00:26:19,984 I have a plan to get round that, 392 00:26:20,019 --> 00:26:22,018 by creating the illusion of a wild boar, see? 393 00:26:23,017 --> 00:26:23,982 Perhaps nobody is honest. 394 00:26:24,017 --> 00:26:26,980 Look, I'll help any other time, but this hunt is so important to me. 395 00:26:27,015 --> 00:26:28,979 Larry's left so I'm the man of the house now 396 00:26:29,014 --> 00:26:32,012 and for the first time I can, erm, really, erm... 397 00:26:33,051 --> 00:26:35,975 All right, my mother can look after you until I get back. 398 00:26:36,009 --> 00:26:37,973 Can't she, eh? 399 00:26:38,008 --> 00:26:39,652 - Everything you need is in there. - OK. 400 00:26:39,687 --> 00:26:41,971 - I will come back tomorrow. - Tomorrow? 401 00:26:42,006 --> 00:26:45,684 Please. I need a break or I go mad. 402 00:26:48,002 --> 00:26:49,002 BABY CRIES 403 00:27:01,994 --> 00:27:03,993 Oh, hello. 404 00:27:06,511 --> 00:27:11,793 - Theo, I'm sorry... - No, no, no, I am. 405 00:27:11,828 --> 00:27:14,311 But the truth is, I'm so used to living on my own. 406 00:27:14,346 --> 00:27:16,950 Oh, no, you've hated having me here. 407 00:27:16,985 --> 00:27:19,468 No, you're a delight, you're my friend. 408 00:27:19,503 --> 00:27:22,981 But for me, a disorderly house creates a disorderly mind. 409 00:27:23,980 --> 00:27:26,979 But I'm fine now the furniture is symmetrical. 410 00:27:35,973 --> 00:27:38,457 I know now what I need to do. 411 00:27:38,492 --> 00:27:40,935 Please, tell your mother where you are. 412 00:27:40,970 --> 00:27:42,934 Not yet. 413 00:27:42,969 --> 00:27:44,968 I'm getting a taste for independence. 414 00:27:45,967 --> 00:27:48,930 You'd have been proud of me, I waved Mrs Mavrokondas's hair 415 00:27:48,965 --> 00:27:51,804 - without killing her. - I am proud of you. 416 00:27:56,161 --> 00:27:59,959 Basil, I need your help with my hunting expedition. 417 00:28:00,958 --> 00:28:04,441 Oh, I knew there was something - you mustn't go hunting, 418 00:28:04,476 --> 00:28:07,954 - your mother asked me to stop it. - Tough, we're going. But... 419 00:28:09,953 --> 00:28:12,916 ..would you go ahead, hide in the foliage 420 00:28:12,951 --> 00:28:15,914 and make a noise like a wild boar, please? 421 00:28:15,949 --> 00:28:17,953 I fear that could end in tears. 422 00:28:17,988 --> 00:28:20,911 No, no, it won't. It'll be a laugh! 423 00:28:20,946 --> 00:28:22,945 Day out in the woods, up a tree. 424 00:28:24,624 --> 00:28:26,942 - Why do you need wild boar noises? - Shh! 425 00:28:28,941 --> 00:28:31,904 Because there are no wild boars, it turns out, 426 00:28:31,939 --> 00:28:34,903 so the Colonel will demand his money back. 427 00:28:34,938 --> 00:28:37,936 My sympathies. Still no. 428 00:28:39,935 --> 00:28:41,898 If you help me, I'll show you how to impress Mother. 429 00:28:41,933 --> 00:28:45,896 I've already taken steps to win her over. 430 00:28:45,931 --> 00:28:48,929 Well, I can more or less guarantee success, because I'm her confidant. 431 00:28:51,607 --> 00:28:52,892 What noise do wild boar make? 432 00:28:52,927 --> 00:28:55,890 If I remember correctly, it's something like... 433 00:28:55,925 --> 00:28:57,924 - IMITATES WILD BOAR SQUEAL - But louder. 434 00:28:58,923 --> 00:29:01,247 IMITATES WILD BOAR SQUEAL 435 00:29:01,282 --> 00:29:04,884 Wow, yeah. Oh, that's a nasty cough. 436 00:29:04,919 --> 00:29:05,919 - It's a bit of a... a tickle. - Tickle. 437 00:29:07,918 --> 00:29:11,880 Delivery for you. What are we waiting for? 438 00:29:11,915 --> 00:29:15,433 - I just need my mother to come home before we leave. - Why? 439 00:29:30,904 --> 00:29:34,866 - Welcome home! - Thank you, no need to welcome me. 440 00:29:34,901 --> 00:29:36,865 I, er, have something to say. 441 00:29:36,900 --> 00:29:40,863 Over the months I've been here, you may have observed my journey 442 00:29:40,898 --> 00:29:43,861 from somewhat prissy guest to dogged admirer. 443 00:29:43,896 --> 00:29:46,859 You're going quite fast, can I just gently slow you down 444 00:29:46,894 --> 00:29:48,858 and ask you to shut your eyes. 445 00:29:48,893 --> 00:29:52,056 Why? The last time I did that, Gerry put a lizard down my blouse. 446 00:29:52,091 --> 00:29:54,534 Yes, I won't do that. 447 00:29:54,569 --> 00:29:58,567 Though it sounds like massive fun. Erm, ready then? 448 00:30:03,884 --> 00:30:07,047 So, here... er, stop. 449 00:30:07,082 --> 00:30:10,845 Keep them shut. As a symbol of our connection, 450 00:30:10,880 --> 00:30:14,877 is this gift which I now give you. 451 00:30:18,875 --> 00:30:20,074 And, open. 452 00:30:33,386 --> 00:30:36,829 Obviously, it lacks water, but I'll... 453 00:30:36,864 --> 00:30:38,863 divert a stream when I have a moment. 454 00:30:39,862 --> 00:30:41,506 - Basil, why have you...? - Say nothing. 455 00:30:41,541 --> 00:30:43,860 Please excuse me, I'm needed in a wood. 456 00:30:44,859 --> 00:30:46,898 Enjoy your gift. 457 00:30:53,854 --> 00:30:55,817 - Whose is that? - Daphne's. 458 00:30:55,852 --> 00:30:57,851 Oh, Leslie. 459 00:30:59,850 --> 00:31:02,848 - Oh, a... a letter from Larry. - Oh, thank you, darling. 460 00:31:06,886 --> 00:31:10,808 - Why has Basil bought us a bridge? - Yes, that did seem odd. 461 00:31:10,843 --> 00:31:12,807 'Dear Mother. 462 00:31:12,842 --> 00:31:15,805 'Enchante to hear that Margo's nesting with Theo. 463 00:31:15,840 --> 00:31:17,804 - 'Is that a secret?' - Hah! 464 00:31:17,839 --> 00:31:20,802 Erm, can you babysit Daphne's baby while I'm hunting? 465 00:31:20,837 --> 00:31:22,801 Oh, no, darling, I have to go back to town. 466 00:31:22,836 --> 00:31:25,799 - Oh, well... - This is much better. 467 00:31:25,834 --> 00:31:28,832 You stay here and be Daddy, as you said you wanted to. 468 00:31:33,829 --> 00:31:35,828 What the hell am I going to do with you? 469 00:31:39,666 --> 00:31:42,789 - Lovely day for it. - I'm not talking to you! 470 00:31:42,824 --> 00:31:43,823 Fine. 471 00:32:02,812 --> 00:32:04,776 You'd have been court-martialled for that in a war. 472 00:32:04,811 --> 00:32:07,774 - Highly unprofessional. - I've said I'm sorry. 473 00:32:07,809 --> 00:32:09,613 RUSTLING NOISE 474 00:32:09,648 --> 00:32:10,772 GUNFIRE 475 00:32:10,807 --> 00:32:12,771 BABY SCREAMS AND CRIES 476 00:32:12,806 --> 00:32:15,844 - Don't make me shoot the baby. - That's not funny. 477 00:32:18,802 --> 00:32:20,801 - Please shush. - CRYING CONTINUES 478 00:32:21,800 --> 00:32:23,799 - Shh. - Shh! 479 00:32:25,838 --> 00:32:28,476 Let's just clog your ears up. 480 00:32:33,313 --> 00:32:34,792 IMITATES WILD BOAR 481 00:32:37,791 --> 00:32:39,754 Th... that's a wild boar. 482 00:32:39,789 --> 00:32:41,753 How exciting, I told you I'd find you some. 483 00:32:41,788 --> 00:32:42,753 Isn't it coming from up a tree? 484 00:32:42,788 --> 00:32:47,625 Hardly, they can't climb trees. You're thinking of a squirrel. 485 00:32:48,784 --> 00:32:49,783 GUNFIRE 486 00:32:51,822 --> 00:32:53,746 This way. 487 00:32:53,781 --> 00:32:55,745 Are you sure about this? 488 00:32:55,780 --> 00:32:57,779 We could get shot and killed. 489 00:32:58,778 --> 00:32:59,777 Are YOU sure about it? 490 00:33:08,772 --> 00:33:09,771 KNOCK 491 00:33:15,288 --> 00:33:17,731 Hello. How nice... 492 00:33:17,766 --> 00:33:20,730 It's all right, Theo, I know. 493 00:33:20,765 --> 00:33:22,728 I did try to persuade Margo to tell you. 494 00:33:22,763 --> 00:33:24,727 Well, you should have asked me, 495 00:33:24,762 --> 00:33:27,760 I have a range of techniques for calling Margo to heel. 496 00:33:31,758 --> 00:33:32,757 Oh... 497 00:33:37,754 --> 00:33:40,718 I was forgetting what you looked like. 498 00:33:40,753 --> 00:33:44,235 After a week? What kind of mother are you? 499 00:33:44,270 --> 00:33:46,429 I don't know. 500 00:33:47,748 --> 00:33:49,747 BABY CRYING 501 00:33:51,746 --> 00:33:53,745 Oh, God, this is horrible. 502 00:33:57,742 --> 00:34:00,740 Let's hope this is the last of your stinking effluent. 503 00:34:13,733 --> 00:34:15,571 IMITATES WILD BOAR 504 00:34:17,730 --> 00:34:19,729 BASIL IMITATING WILD BOAR 505 00:34:20,728 --> 00:34:22,727 LOUD GONG AND TAMBOURINE 506 00:34:24,726 --> 00:34:27,689 - Shoo, scat. - Pavste! - REPEATED GONG 507 00:34:27,724 --> 00:34:29,688 - Hunting is wrong! - Stop this cruelty! 508 00:34:29,723 --> 00:34:32,686 Drop your guns and cuddle an animal today! 509 00:34:32,721 --> 00:34:34,720 GUNSHOT 510 00:34:35,719 --> 00:34:37,883 How dare you! My mother loves that gong! 511 00:34:37,918 --> 00:34:39,682 Well, you're wasting your bloody breath 512 00:34:39,717 --> 00:34:42,680 because there are no wild boar in these woods anyway! 513 00:34:42,715 --> 00:34:44,679 Probably because they've all been gunned down. 514 00:34:44,714 --> 00:34:46,678 They need protecting! 515 00:34:46,713 --> 00:34:50,710 In fact, there are wild boar here, because we heard the bastards. 516 00:34:54,708 --> 00:34:56,707 SHRIEKS 517 00:35:13,696 --> 00:35:16,660 I will see you... in court. 518 00:35:16,695 --> 00:35:19,693 Look, I was just trying to give you good value for money! 519 00:35:20,692 --> 00:35:22,656 You think I'm a buffoon, do you? 520 00:35:22,691 --> 00:35:24,655 - You must be. - No. 521 00:35:24,690 --> 00:35:26,653 Killing isn't a sport, it's a sickness! 522 00:35:26,688 --> 00:35:28,687 Gerry! 523 00:35:39,681 --> 00:35:42,644 - 'Fire!' - BATTLEFIELD SOUNDS 524 00:35:42,679 --> 00:35:44,678 'Fire your weapon! 525 00:35:47,676 --> 00:35:51,713 'For God's sake, do something, man! Fire! 526 00:35:53,672 --> 00:35:56,635 'Colonel! Colonel! 527 00:35:56,670 --> 00:35:58,869 'Colonel!' 528 00:36:06,664 --> 00:36:08,663 You could have killed my brother! 529 00:36:29,650 --> 00:36:32,134 Margo, I love you and I miss you. 530 00:36:32,169 --> 00:36:35,612 And I need you at home, as a... as a daughter 531 00:36:35,647 --> 00:36:38,610 - and frankly as a woman. - You've got Lugaretzia. 532 00:36:38,645 --> 00:36:41,608 Oh, she's off with her bad back or her bottom 533 00:36:41,643 --> 00:36:43,607 or whatever it is this time. 534 00:36:43,642 --> 00:36:45,606 Have I been so terrible? 535 00:36:45,641 --> 00:36:50,603 No! But you're very... dominant. 536 00:36:50,638 --> 00:36:52,601 No, I'm not! 537 00:36:52,636 --> 00:36:53,601 You'd never come to me for advice, 538 00:36:53,636 --> 00:36:56,599 because you only really listen to Larry. 539 00:36:56,634 --> 00:36:58,598 - You only miss me now I'm gone. - Oh, Margo. 540 00:36:58,633 --> 00:37:01,596 - Anyway, I've bothered Theo enough. - No, no, no, no. 541 00:37:01,631 --> 00:37:04,594 - So I'm moving out. - Oh, thank you, darling... 542 00:37:04,629 --> 00:37:08,592 - And I'm going to England. - No... Why? 543 00:37:08,627 --> 00:37:10,591 I haven't been there for years. 544 00:37:10,626 --> 00:37:12,949 I need to train properly in beauty, 545 00:37:12,984 --> 00:37:15,588 I just need to do something brave. 546 00:37:15,623 --> 00:37:19,585 Well, you'll soon discover there's no place like home. 547 00:37:19,620 --> 00:37:22,583 But where is home? I love Corfu, 548 00:37:22,618 --> 00:37:24,782 but you turned us into nomads when you brought us here. 549 00:37:24,817 --> 00:37:26,976 Home is... 550 00:37:28,615 --> 00:37:32,612 - ...where I am. - You see? That's you being dominant. 551 00:37:34,611 --> 00:37:38,129 - How long will you be gone? - I don't know. 552 00:37:45,604 --> 00:37:47,603 Theo, you can keep my lovely pictures. 553 00:38:17,585 --> 00:38:20,548 I'm sorry it wasn't a huge success. If you want your money back... 554 00:38:20,583 --> 00:38:24,581 You stopped me committing murder. I'm hardly going to expect a refund. 555 00:38:25,580 --> 00:38:28,543 I know what it's like, haunting flashbacks to the battlefield. 556 00:38:28,578 --> 00:38:31,542 - They're hard to shake off. - Where did you serve? 557 00:38:31,577 --> 00:38:34,575 Yeovil College for trainee solicitors. 558 00:38:35,574 --> 00:38:37,538 Not all of the lads made it. 559 00:38:37,573 --> 00:38:40,536 Well, thank goodness you're all safe. 560 00:38:40,571 --> 00:38:43,534 - Galini and I stopped the slaughter. - LESLIE: No, you didn't. 561 00:38:43,569 --> 00:38:46,533 - He shot your gong. - It's still perfectly sound. 562 00:38:46,568 --> 00:38:49,571 - Oh, really? Does THIS sound sound? - WARPED GONG SOUNDS 563 00:38:49,606 --> 00:38:51,530 - You are so self-righteous. - Oh, am I? 564 00:38:51,565 --> 00:38:54,208 - And what does that make you? - Why don't you tell me? 565 00:38:54,243 --> 00:38:55,527 Shut up! 566 00:38:55,562 --> 00:39:00,524 Are you going to ask me how am? In this house of men? 567 00:39:00,559 --> 00:39:02,523 - As my family disintegrates? - What? 568 00:39:02,558 --> 00:39:04,557 - Who's disintegrating? - How are you? 569 00:39:09,913 --> 00:39:11,877 KNOCK 570 00:39:11,912 --> 00:39:14,551 - Yes? - It's a man. 571 00:39:15,550 --> 00:39:18,548 - Would you prefer to rendezvous on the landing? - No. 572 00:39:20,547 --> 00:39:22,546 Sorry to penetrate your bolt-hole. 573 00:39:24,065 --> 00:39:29,027 I'm worried I wasn't very clear, when I gave you the bridge. 574 00:39:29,062 --> 00:39:31,505 Yes, what was that all about? 575 00:39:31,540 --> 00:39:34,703 I asked you what you liked 576 00:39:34,738 --> 00:39:37,537 and you said "a bridge". 577 00:39:39,536 --> 00:39:44,338 No, I said I like, "er, bridge". 578 00:39:44,373 --> 00:39:48,530 The card game. My husband and I used to play. 579 00:39:49,529 --> 00:39:51,528 Oh, bugger. 580 00:39:53,527 --> 00:39:55,011 Do you like bridges? 581 00:39:55,046 --> 00:39:58,489 Well, I'm glad they exist, for crossing water. 582 00:39:58,524 --> 00:40:00,488 Anyway... 583 00:40:00,523 --> 00:40:04,685 the bridge is merely a metaphor, in wood, 584 00:40:04,720 --> 00:40:10,002 - of my love for you. - Oh. 585 00:40:10,037 --> 00:40:15,998 Your warmth and beauty illuminate every room you enter. 586 00:40:16,033 --> 00:40:18,477 I came for a fortnight's holiday 587 00:40:18,512 --> 00:40:24,473 and months later, I am still here, waiting and wanting. 588 00:40:24,508 --> 00:40:28,866 So, how about it, you and me? 589 00:40:30,505 --> 00:40:33,543 No, I have no romantic feelings for you. 590 00:40:34,542 --> 00:40:36,541 We are related after all. 591 00:40:41,498 --> 00:40:43,497 - It's very distant. - Not distant enough. 592 00:40:45,496 --> 00:40:47,494 - I don't think you should sit on my bed. - Right, sorry. 593 00:40:50,852 --> 00:40:54,455 And of course, there is Spiros. 594 00:40:54,490 --> 00:40:58,493 Why eat boiled beef when there's hot souvlaki on the menu? 595 00:40:58,528 --> 00:41:00,452 He's not on the menu. 596 00:41:00,487 --> 00:41:03,969 Well, I'll leave tomorrow. 597 00:41:04,004 --> 00:41:07,447 No, look, Basil, stay. 598 00:41:07,482 --> 00:41:11,445 Stop having English clothes sent over, 599 00:41:11,480 --> 00:41:14,483 relax, find someone nice here. 600 00:41:14,518 --> 00:41:16,477 Who isn't me. 601 00:41:21,474 --> 00:41:23,153 CAR HORN 602 00:41:25,671 --> 00:41:28,435 - Ladies. - Thanks, Spiros! 603 00:41:28,470 --> 00:41:31,468 - Pleasure. - You're a darling! - You're welcome. 604 00:41:34,466 --> 00:41:36,465 - Mrs D! - Swim with us! 605 00:41:39,463 --> 00:41:40,467 - SCREAM - Look at the sea! 606 00:41:40,502 --> 00:41:42,461 Oh, it's so good to be back. 607 00:41:49,457 --> 00:41:51,940 You want me to apologise for caring about you? 608 00:41:51,975 --> 00:41:53,420 This isn't caring. 609 00:41:53,454 --> 00:41:55,418 This is having your cake and eating it. 610 00:41:55,453 --> 00:41:57,417 - What does that mean? - It means, 611 00:41:57,452 --> 00:41:59,616 you have a wife you want to keep 612 00:41:59,651 --> 00:42:02,449 and me here waiting for you, just in case. 613 00:42:04,448 --> 00:42:05,487 I'm sorry... 614 00:42:07,446 --> 00:42:08,965 That's not fair. 615 00:42:09,965 --> 00:42:13,442 But we've tried to be normal together and we just can't do it. 616 00:42:15,121 --> 00:42:16,441 I know. 617 00:42:18,439 --> 00:42:20,438 I'm sorry. 618 00:42:48,421 --> 00:42:51,384 Leslie's busy putting the baby down to sleep, 619 00:42:51,419 --> 00:42:53,418 but I'm here if you want a deputy confidant. 620 00:42:54,418 --> 00:42:56,416 Thank you. 621 00:42:59,415 --> 00:43:01,413 LAUGHING AND SCREAMING 622 00:43:02,413 --> 00:43:05,411 They're swimming naked, aren't they? 623 00:43:07,770 --> 00:43:09,374 Er, I think I will stay on. 624 00:43:09,409 --> 00:43:12,372 I'll just take the dancers their towels... 625 00:43:12,407 --> 00:43:15,370 They'll dry... in the sun. 626 00:43:15,405 --> 00:43:17,404 Go on, in you go. 627 00:43:20,402 --> 00:43:25,364 Oh, Lugaretzia, what an absolute pleasure to see you. 628 00:43:25,399 --> 00:43:27,363 You also. 629 00:43:27,398 --> 00:43:30,361 And how is your bad back or bottom or wherever it is? 630 00:43:30,396 --> 00:43:33,394 - Ah, less bad, thank you. - Good. 631 00:43:36,392 --> 00:43:39,355 - There are naked ladies in the sea! - I know. 632 00:43:39,390 --> 00:43:40,715 What can you do? 633 00:43:40,750 --> 00:43:43,353 Yeah, we danced for our supper in Athens. 634 00:43:43,388 --> 00:43:45,032 And we're joining Larry up the coast. 635 00:43:45,067 --> 00:43:47,351 He's promised to give us a huge welcome. 636 00:43:47,386 --> 00:43:51,348 Oh, I bet he has. Well, tell him we'll visit soon. 637 00:43:51,383 --> 00:43:53,347 - DOOR OPENS - Theo told me you're missing 638 00:43:53,382 --> 00:43:55,346 - female company. - Aw! 639 00:43:55,381 --> 00:43:57,345 Thank you, Florence. 640 00:43:57,380 --> 00:44:00,343 Yes, it's been like a working men's club here. 641 00:44:00,378 --> 00:44:02,342 Come in and spread a little daintiness. 642 00:44:02,376 --> 00:44:05,340 Oh, you seem to be doing all right. 643 00:44:05,375 --> 00:44:07,338 Still, we're here now. I bring wine 644 00:44:07,373 --> 00:44:10,337 and surgery gossip involving sexually transmitted diseases. 645 00:44:10,372 --> 00:44:12,370 - Oh! - THEY LAUGH 646 00:44:14,369 --> 00:44:18,332 I'll, er, I'll be making my farewells, Mrs Durrell. 647 00:44:18,367 --> 00:44:20,331 Oh, I'm sorry, Colonel. Why? 648 00:44:20,366 --> 00:44:23,329 Well, I feel I need a new challenge in my life, 649 00:44:23,364 --> 00:44:25,328 one that doesn't involve firearms. 650 00:44:25,363 --> 00:44:27,846 Well, you could stay and... 651 00:44:27,881 --> 00:44:30,360 go for walks or read books. 652 00:44:31,359 --> 00:44:34,002 Anyway, I'll leave my guns for Leslie. 653 00:44:34,037 --> 00:44:36,361 He's a fine lad, despite his baby fetish. 654 00:44:36,396 --> 00:44:39,319 - Ah, here's Daphne. - Aw, hi! 655 00:44:39,354 --> 00:44:41,353 - COLONEL CLEARS HIS THROAT - Afti pali? 656 00:44:42,712 --> 00:44:45,355 So many women. Where's Margo? 657 00:44:45,390 --> 00:44:48,314 Margo is going to try England. 658 00:44:48,349 --> 00:44:51,312 Oh, good for her! 659 00:44:51,347 --> 00:44:54,025 Yes. Good for her. 660 00:45:04,339 --> 00:45:07,302 So is that you done for children? 661 00:45:07,337 --> 00:45:09,301 Ugh, yeah, they're a nightmare. 662 00:45:09,336 --> 00:45:12,299 Listen, I know I haven't been a good confidant to you so far. 663 00:45:12,334 --> 00:45:14,298 Well, I'll need you later to shore me up. 664 00:45:14,333 --> 00:45:17,296 I can't see Spiros any more and Margo's going away. 665 00:45:17,331 --> 00:45:18,975 No, I won't make sense later, 666 00:45:19,010 --> 00:45:22,328 I'm off to get slaughtered with Basil and the Colonel. Bye! 667 00:45:26,326 --> 00:45:29,329 At last. This is so lovely! 668 00:45:29,364 --> 00:45:32,322 - Isn't it! - Yes, go on. 669 00:45:37,319 --> 00:45:39,283 Do we need some men? 670 00:45:39,318 --> 00:45:42,121 Might be nice. 671 00:45:42,156 --> 00:45:44,315 - THEY LAUGH - ALL: Yamas! 672 00:45:50,311 --> 00:45:52,275 - Hello, Aunty, Uncle. - What? 673 00:45:52,310 --> 00:45:54,314 My daughter Maud's governess had to leave suddenly 674 00:45:54,349 --> 00:45:56,273 and I was wondering if you could take over. 675 00:45:56,308 --> 00:46:00,270 - Let's all go and visit Larry. - Ah! 676 00:46:00,305 --> 00:46:01,270 Captain Creech! 677 00:46:01,305 --> 00:46:03,268 - Pull up a bottom. - We're leaving. 678 00:46:03,303 --> 00:46:05,627 I don't think you have met my wife. 679 00:46:05,662 --> 00:46:07,821 How nice to finally meet you.