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What are you doing?
4
00:00:59,600 --> 00:01:01,001
Bev, what are you doing?
5
00:01:01,035 --> 00:01:02,202
Stop.
No.
6
00:01:02,236 --> 00:01:03,737
Please.
No!
7
00:01:03,771 --> 00:01:05,572
I'm going home.
You stay.
8
00:01:05,606 --> 00:01:07,140
You're obviously
flourishing here.
9
00:01:07,174 --> 00:01:09,309
Is this because
I went surfing today?
10
00:01:09,343 --> 00:01:11,611
OK, obviously it's not
because I went surfing.
11
00:01:11,646 --> 00:01:13,580
Bev, come on, talk to me.
12
00:01:13,614 --> 00:01:15,749
Bev. Bev!
13
00:01:15,783 --> 00:01:17,817
Look, I realize L.A.
hasn't exactly been your favorite...
14
00:01:17,852 --> 00:01:20,587
This isn't about L.A.
15
00:01:20,621 --> 00:01:22,956
Front door ajar.
16
00:01:22,990 --> 00:01:24,357
Wait. Is it
about the show?
17
00:01:24,392 --> 00:01:26,126
It's one more day of shooting,
a week in post.
18
00:01:26,160 --> 00:01:27,827
Move.
19
00:01:27,862 --> 00:01:29,596
Front door ajar.
20
00:01:29,630 --> 00:01:31,164
One week. Then the work
will be done,
21
00:01:31,198 --> 00:01:33,934
and we can both leave together,
with our heads held high.
22
00:01:33,968 --> 00:01:35,201
Heads held high?
23
00:01:35,236 --> 00:01:36,836
Have you not seen our heads?
24
00:01:36,871 --> 00:01:39,272
It's all we can do to not
kick them when we walk.
25
00:01:39,307 --> 00:01:40,874
All right, look, we've
made some compromises...
26
00:01:40,908 --> 00:01:43,543
This isn't about
the fucking show.
27
00:01:43,578 --> 00:01:45,278
Front door ajar.
28
00:01:45,313 --> 00:01:47,047
Well, then what is it about?
29
00:01:47,081 --> 00:01:48,949
Front door ajar.
30
00:01:48,983 --> 00:01:50,984
Does this bitch ever shut up?!
31
00:01:51,018 --> 00:01:52,352
You know what this is about.
32
00:01:52,386 --> 00:01:54,020
What?
33
00:01:54,055 --> 00:01:57,591
Morning? Oh, my God!
Look, I'm telling you,
34
00:01:57,625 --> 00:01:59,826
I have no interest
in her at all.
35
00:01:59,860 --> 00:02:02,829
I saw you wanking to her
the other night.
36
00:02:03,998 --> 00:02:06,666
What? I... No, I...
How did...
37
00:02:06,701 --> 00:02:09,469
How did? Who did?
I... I...
38
00:02:09,503 --> 00:02:11,371
Front door ajar...
39
00:02:11,405 --> 00:02:13,239
All right!
40
00:02:13,274 --> 00:02:15,241
There may have been
a little wanking!
41
00:02:15,276 --> 00:02:17,043
But there is
nothing between us.
42
00:02:17,078 --> 00:02:19,179
I just saw you with her.
What?!
43
00:02:19,213 --> 00:02:20,914
I saw you with her just now!
44
00:02:20,948 --> 00:02:23,483
I saw you hugging her
in front of our house!
45
00:02:23,517 --> 00:02:26,386
She wasn't here! She...
46
00:02:26,420 --> 00:02:28,288
There was... She wasn't...
47
00:02:28,322 --> 00:02:30,123
Ernesto!
48
00:02:30,157 --> 00:02:32,192
Ernesto!
What?
49
00:02:32,226 --> 00:02:34,027
Please turn that off!
50
00:02:35,663 --> 00:02:37,197
I'm sorry.
Did you want me?
51
00:02:37,231 --> 00:02:38,965
I want you to turn off
the leaf blower.
52
00:02:39,000 --> 00:02:40,834
I did.
Yeah.
53
00:02:40,868 --> 00:02:43,169
Now. But before...
54
00:02:43,204 --> 00:02:44,471
Hey, Bev!
55
00:02:44,505 --> 00:02:46,139
No! No! Wait!
56
00:02:47,408 --> 00:02:49,275
Bev, stop!
57
00:02:49,310 --> 00:02:50,910
You're on the wrong side!
58
00:02:50,945 --> 00:02:53,213
No, Sean...
you're on the wrong side!
59
00:02:53,247 --> 00:02:55,215
That's not what I meant!
60
00:03:05,026 --> 00:03:06,860
Automated dialing.
61
00:03:06,894 --> 00:03:08,728
Call Bob.
Command.
62
00:03:08,763 --> 00:03:10,597
Call Bob.
63
00:03:10,631 --> 00:03:12,565
Dialing Mom.
64
00:03:12,600 --> 00:03:14,067
No, not Mom. Bob.
65
00:03:14,101 --> 00:03:16,569
Cancel.
66
00:03:16,604 --> 00:03:18,071
Cancel.
67
00:03:18,105 --> 00:03:19,873
Stop!
- Hello?
68
00:03:19,907 --> 00:03:21,941
Hey, Ma. It's Matt.
69
00:03:24,879 --> 00:03:26,680
Nothing. Just calling
to say hi.
70
00:03:39,460 --> 00:03:42,262
And the BAFTA Award
goes to...
71
00:03:42,296 --> 00:03:45,999
Sean and Beverly Lincoln
for Lyman's Boys!
72
00:03:55,009 --> 00:03:56,576
There you are!
73
00:03:56,610 --> 00:03:59,713
Oh, you bloody bastards.
You've done it again.
74
00:03:59,747 --> 00:04:01,614
And again!
75
00:04:01,649 --> 00:04:03,249
Stop doing it!
76
00:04:03,284 --> 00:04:04,517
We're so sorry.
77
00:04:04,552 --> 00:04:06,453
We promise, never again.
78
00:04:06,487 --> 00:04:08,621
Yeah, you fuckers.
That's what you said last year.
79
00:04:08,656 --> 00:04:10,657
No, no.
Honestly, I'm...
80
00:04:10,691 --> 00:04:12,325
I'm, you know,
really pleased for you.
81
00:04:12,359 --> 00:04:15,361
That's sweet.
Thank you.
82
00:04:15,396 --> 00:04:17,130
Oh, he's so not pleased.
83
00:04:17,164 --> 00:04:18,598
No, he's not.
84
00:04:18,632 --> 00:04:20,467
Well, I'm happy for us.
85
00:04:20,501 --> 00:04:23,002
I'm just... happy.
86
00:04:26,607 --> 00:04:29,342
How soon can we leave?
Don't know.
87
00:04:29,376 --> 00:04:31,678
Have we made enough people
feel bad about themselves?
88
00:04:31,712 --> 00:04:33,613
Oh, my God.
89
00:04:33,647 --> 00:04:35,248
What? Who's that?
90
00:04:35,282 --> 00:04:36,583
That's Merc Lapidus.
Who?
91
00:04:36,617 --> 00:04:37,984
Merc Lapidus.
92
00:04:38,018 --> 00:04:39,319
Repeating it doesn't help me.
93
00:04:39,353 --> 00:04:41,154
From America.
He's president of...
94
00:04:41,188 --> 00:04:42,655
Winners! Ha ha!
95
00:04:42,690 --> 00:04:43,957
Forgive me. Don't want
to interrupt.
96
00:04:43,991 --> 00:04:45,992
Merc Lapidus.
I am the president...
97
00:04:46,026 --> 00:04:48,194
Please. We know
who you are.
98
00:04:48,229 --> 00:04:49,929
Hi, Sean and Beverly...
99
00:04:49,964 --> 00:04:51,164
Ahh!
100
00:04:51,198 --> 00:04:53,199
Ha ha ha!
101
00:04:53,234 --> 00:04:55,468
And you, with the funny speech.
102
00:04:55,503 --> 00:04:56,970
Oh, that's not necess...
103
00:04:57,004 --> 00:04:58,738
Oh, all right.
Ha ha!
104
00:04:58,773 --> 00:05:00,807
You know what my fantasy is?
105
00:05:00,841 --> 00:05:02,809
I'm gonna guess.
Either shoes or nuns.
106
00:05:04,145 --> 00:05:06,679
My fantasy is,
I wake up tomorrow,
107
00:05:06,714 --> 00:05:09,048
and I've got your show
on my network.
108
00:05:09,083 --> 00:05:10,683
Well, that's very flattering.
109
00:05:10,718 --> 00:05:12,719
No, no, I'm not just
blowing smoke here.
110
00:05:12,753 --> 00:05:15,288
I love your show.
111
00:05:15,322 --> 00:05:16,656
I love it.
Seriously...
112
00:05:16,690 --> 00:05:18,324
I want to have sex
with your show.
113
00:05:18,359 --> 00:05:19,659
Well.
114
00:05:19,693 --> 00:05:21,394
I'm telling you...
an American version
115
00:05:21,428 --> 00:05:22,896
would be huge.
116
00:05:22,930 --> 00:05:25,365
It could be, like,
The Office meets...
117
00:05:25,399 --> 00:05:27,767
Our show?
Yes! Ha ha!
118
00:05:27,802 --> 00:05:30,336
But... But we'd have
to do it right.
119
00:05:30,371 --> 00:05:33,072
No farming this one out to
some shitty American writers.
120
00:05:33,107 --> 00:05:36,876
I want what's in these
amazing Britishy heads!
121
00:05:36,911 --> 00:05:39,512
What, us, come to L.A.?
122
00:05:39,547 --> 00:05:41,915
That's interesting.
Is it?
123
00:05:41,949 --> 00:05:44,184
Uh-oh. She's giving you
the wife look.
124
00:05:44,218 --> 00:05:46,286
Whoa! Now she's
giving me the wife look!
125
00:05:46,320 --> 00:05:47,320
Oh, hello.
126
00:05:48,489 --> 00:05:50,390
Have you guys tried these?
127
00:05:50,424 --> 00:05:52,959
Ohh. What are these
little berries?
128
00:05:52,993 --> 00:05:56,262
They're genius! They're, like...
magic berries.
129
00:05:56,297 --> 00:05:57,997
They're actually loganberries.
130
00:05:58,032 --> 00:05:59,165
Loganberries!
131
00:05:59,200 --> 00:06:00,667
Now I want to have sex
132
00:06:00,701 --> 00:06:02,468
with your show
and these berries.
133
00:06:02,503 --> 00:06:04,838
When I was a little girl, my
grandmother lived in Yorkshire
134
00:06:04,872 --> 00:06:06,840
and had loganberries
in her garden.
135
00:06:06,874 --> 00:06:09,509
Every summer we'd
pick the berries
136
00:06:09,543 --> 00:06:11,878
and she'd make jam.
Fuck.
137
00:06:11,912 --> 00:06:14,314
My grandmother lives in
Morristown, New Jersey,
138
00:06:14,348 --> 00:06:17,050
and hates black people.
139
00:06:17,084 --> 00:06:18,251
So, what do you say?
140
00:06:18,285 --> 00:06:20,620
Come play with us, hmm?
141
00:06:20,654 --> 00:06:22,088
I need
Lyman's Boys.
142
00:06:22,122 --> 00:06:23,790
We've got four places
on my schedule
143
00:06:23,824 --> 00:06:25,191
I could put it right now.
144
00:06:25,226 --> 00:06:26,559
This is very flattering.
145
00:06:26,594 --> 00:06:28,127
And we've all had
a bit to drink.
146
00:06:28,162 --> 00:06:29,863
No, not me.
Not in seven years.
147
00:06:29,897 --> 00:06:31,197
I'm an alcoholic.
148
00:06:31,232 --> 00:06:33,600
But evidently not anonymous.
149
00:06:35,102 --> 00:06:36,603
Come on.
150
00:06:36,637 --> 00:06:39,272
We'll get you a house, a car.
151
00:06:39,306 --> 00:06:41,241
Name it. How hard
could it be?
152
00:06:41,275 --> 00:06:42,475
You've already
written the scripts.
153
00:06:42,509 --> 00:06:43,943
It's perfect the way it is.
154
00:06:43,978 --> 00:06:45,378
You work 20 minutes a day,
155
00:06:45,412 --> 00:06:46,646
the rest of the time,
156
00:06:46,680 --> 00:06:48,114
you could screw in the pool.
157
00:06:48,148 --> 00:06:50,617
Oh, you hear that?
We'd get a pool.
158
00:06:50,651 --> 00:06:53,620
Look, if you don't want
to do it, that's fine.
159
00:06:53,654 --> 00:06:55,288
Hey, maybe you
don't like money.
160
00:06:55,322 --> 00:06:57,624
But I had to ask.
161
00:06:57,658 --> 00:07:00,059
When I had cancer...
162
00:07:00,094 --> 00:07:01,427
That's right.
163
00:07:01,462 --> 00:07:03,196
I realized two things.
164
00:07:03,230 --> 00:07:05,732
If you want something,
go for it.
165
00:07:05,766 --> 00:07:07,600
God doesn't wait for you.
166
00:07:07,635 --> 00:07:09,769
And also...
167
00:07:09,803 --> 00:07:11,971
you do not want cancer.
168
00:07:24,318 --> 00:07:26,552
You're already there, aren't you?
No.
169
00:07:26,587 --> 00:07:29,155
Yes, you are. You're having
brunch with Angelina Jolie.
170
00:07:29,189 --> 00:07:32,058
My God, you're already
starting to tan.
171
00:07:34,395 --> 00:07:36,362
Aren't you?
No.
172
00:07:44,471 --> 00:07:45,705
Thank you.
173
00:07:45,739 --> 00:07:47,707
Good night.
174
00:07:47,741 --> 00:07:49,542
Ooh!
175
00:07:51,412 --> 00:07:52,712
Jesus.
176
00:07:55,983 --> 00:07:57,383
"Come taste our berries.
177
00:07:57,418 --> 00:08:00,086
Your biggest fan,
Merc Lapidus."
178
00:08:00,120 --> 00:08:02,989
How did he do this?
We left him less than an hour ago.
179
00:08:03,023 --> 00:08:04,724
I can't believe
he even remembered
180
00:08:04,758 --> 00:08:06,326
that stupid loganberry story.
181
00:08:06,360 --> 00:08:08,895
I can't believe
he knows where we live.
182
00:08:13,267 --> 00:08:16,102
You really want
to move to L.A.?
183
00:08:16,136 --> 00:08:18,071
You're always taking
the piss out of it.
184
00:08:18,105 --> 00:08:19,639
Only because it's
never wanted me.
185
00:08:19,673 --> 00:08:21,708
I'm very petty that way.
186
00:08:21,742 --> 00:08:24,177
But why do it?
Our lives are here,
187
00:08:24,211 --> 00:08:26,279
our friends are here.
188
00:08:26,313 --> 00:08:27,714
Who would you miss?
189
00:08:31,452 --> 00:08:32,986
We need better friends.
190
00:08:34,521 --> 00:08:36,656
What I'm saying is,
if we do this,
191
00:08:36,690 --> 00:08:39,125
and we're a hit...
a hit show in the States...
192
00:08:39,159 --> 00:08:40,560
a big, stonking hit...
193
00:08:40,594 --> 00:08:41,894
it's like winning the lottery.
194
00:08:41,929 --> 00:08:43,596
We'd never have to work again.
195
00:08:43,630 --> 00:08:45,264
What would we do instead?
196
00:08:45,299 --> 00:08:48,334
All right, we need friends,
and we need hobbies.
197
00:08:48,369 --> 00:08:49,936
I don't know.
198
00:08:49,970 --> 00:08:51,904
L.A....
it's just so...
199
00:08:51,939 --> 00:08:53,439
L.A.
200
00:08:53,474 --> 00:08:56,009
Oh, come on, it's an adventure.
201
00:08:56,043 --> 00:08:58,044
I'd have to drive!
202
00:08:58,078 --> 00:09:00,646
There's that
pioneer spirit!
203
00:09:06,153 --> 00:09:08,654
You really want this?
204
00:09:08,689 --> 00:09:10,656
I think I do.
205
00:09:14,194 --> 00:09:15,695
Hooray!
206
00:09:18,799 --> 00:09:20,867
Wait, wait, wait.
I get to do the bra, too.
207
00:09:22,503 --> 00:09:24,103
You're still 14, aren't you?
208
00:09:24,138 --> 00:09:26,005
I wish I got to do this at 14.
209
00:09:27,341 --> 00:09:28,941
Wait, did you weld this?
210
00:09:38,218 --> 00:09:40,987
Now, you have to admit...
211
00:09:41,021 --> 00:09:43,723
It is fairly glorious.
212
00:09:45,325 --> 00:09:48,061
Feel that sunshine!
213
00:09:48,095 --> 00:09:49,228
Of course...
214
00:09:49,263 --> 00:09:51,397
Don't say "skin cancer"!
215
00:09:52,966 --> 00:09:54,834
Just glorious.
216
00:09:54,868 --> 00:09:59,372
♪ Oh, say, can you see... ♪
No, no. Don't. Don't.
217
00:10:03,877 --> 00:10:05,912
Oh, my.
218
00:10:05,946 --> 00:10:07,246
Fancy!
219
00:10:07,281 --> 00:10:09,916
Welcome home, darling.
220
00:10:13,420 --> 00:10:15,188
Hello. We're
the new people
221
00:10:15,222 --> 00:10:16,556
moving into...
222
00:10:16,590 --> 00:10:19,258
1675 Bel Vista Drive.
223
00:10:19,293 --> 00:10:21,394
Sean and Beverly Lincoln.
224
00:10:26,366 --> 00:10:28,234
No.
225
00:10:28,268 --> 00:10:30,203
No? Well,
we should be there.
226
00:10:30,237 --> 00:10:31,504
Were they expecting you?
227
00:10:31,538 --> 00:10:32,738
No, no, there's
no one expecting us.
228
00:10:32,773 --> 00:10:33,940
It's a house we're renting.
229
00:10:33,974 --> 00:10:35,208
Well, it's being rented for us.
230
00:10:35,242 --> 00:10:37,343
Wait, there's the housekeep.
She might be there.
231
00:10:37,377 --> 00:10:38,344
Yeah.
232
00:10:38,378 --> 00:10:39,745
One moment.
233
00:10:40,948 --> 00:10:42,315
Is this right?
234
00:10:42,349 --> 00:10:43,683
I have, uh...
235
00:10:43,717 --> 00:10:45,551
Sean and Beverly Lincoln.
236
00:10:45,586 --> 00:10:47,687
Sean and Beverly Lincoln here.
237
00:10:52,025 --> 00:10:53,593
She says they're
not home right now.
238
00:10:53,627 --> 00:10:56,229
Well, of course
they're not home!
239
00:10:56,263 --> 00:10:59,265
Because they're us.
And we're stuck here with you.
240
00:10:59,299 --> 00:11:00,733
Ma'am, there's no need
to raise your voice.
241
00:11:00,767 --> 00:11:02,468
Oh, really?
Get in the car.
242
00:11:02,503 --> 00:11:04,203
I'll be you, and we'll
see if that's true.
243
00:11:04,238 --> 00:11:05,571
Look, um, Wallace,
244
00:11:05,606 --> 00:11:07,140
I'm sure once we've moved in,
245
00:11:07,174 --> 00:11:09,075
the three of us will have a
really good laugh about this.
246
00:11:09,109 --> 00:11:11,210
But, right now, we've
been traveling for...
247
00:11:11,245 --> 00:11:12,912
14 hours.
14 hours.
248
00:11:12,946 --> 00:11:15,181
And we'd really love
to get into the house.
249
00:11:15,215 --> 00:11:16,916
Isn't there any way
you could let us do that?
250
00:11:16,950 --> 00:11:18,618
Not if you're not on the list.
251
00:11:18,652 --> 00:11:20,253
How do I know who you are?
252
00:11:20,287 --> 00:11:21,687
Oh! Has it not come up?
253
00:11:21,722 --> 00:11:23,156
We're Sean and Beverly Lincoln!
254
00:11:23,190 --> 00:11:25,224
Really not helping.
Really don't care!
255
00:11:28,595 --> 00:11:30,730
I'm sure we're on the list.
May I see it?
256
00:11:30,764 --> 00:11:33,299
No one sees the list.
No one sees the list?
257
00:11:33,333 --> 00:11:35,935
We have very high-caliber
celebrities living here.
258
00:11:35,969 --> 00:11:37,570
We have to protect
their privacy.
259
00:11:37,604 --> 00:11:39,105
Oh, for God's sake, Wallace...
260
00:11:39,139 --> 00:11:41,240
I appreciate the seriousness
with which you do your job.
261
00:11:41,275 --> 00:11:44,043
I do. But I just want
to find our names.
262
00:11:44,077 --> 00:11:45,311
Now, I promise you,
263
00:11:45,345 --> 00:11:46,946
I won't reveal any information
264
00:11:46,980 --> 00:11:48,614
about your precious
gated community
265
00:11:48,649 --> 00:11:51,751
or the secret identities
of the gated citizens.
266
00:11:51,785 --> 00:11:54,253
Now, give me the list.
267
00:11:59,526 --> 00:12:01,260
Ooh, Renée Zellweger
lives here.
268
00:12:01,295 --> 00:12:03,162
Does she?
Yeah.
269
00:12:21,448 --> 00:12:23,216
This is just for the two of us?
270
00:12:23,250 --> 00:12:25,518
Apparently so.
271
00:12:25,552 --> 00:12:28,187
Our show's not this good.
272
00:12:32,759 --> 00:12:34,961
Front door ajar.
273
00:12:38,465 --> 00:12:41,133
Front door ajar.
274
00:12:41,168 --> 00:12:43,202
She's fun.
275
00:12:43,237 --> 00:12:45,137
Front door ajar.
276
00:12:46,573 --> 00:12:49,075
Bloody hell.
277
00:12:49,109 --> 00:12:51,143
It's even bigger inside.
278
00:12:51,178 --> 00:12:54,247
And you were afraid we weren't
gonna have enough staircases.
279
00:12:54,281 --> 00:12:56,916
This is mad.
280
00:12:59,119 --> 00:13:00,353
Woy!
281
00:13:00,387 --> 00:13:01,687
Look at this.
282
00:13:01,722 --> 00:13:03,422
It's very Hollywood.
283
00:13:03,457 --> 00:13:04,790
Yeah.
284
00:13:04,825 --> 00:13:06,726
And, construction-wise,
a little disturbing.
285
00:13:06,760 --> 00:13:08,494
Ha!
286
00:13:10,564 --> 00:13:14,233
Oh, my God.
287
00:13:14,268 --> 00:13:18,004
I am never leaving this room.
288
00:13:18,038 --> 00:13:20,239
I like a bath
you can dock a barge in.
289
00:13:21,875 --> 00:13:24,010
Big enough for two.
290
00:13:24,044 --> 00:13:25,544
What, now?
291
00:13:25,579 --> 00:13:27,880
I'm feeling a bit...
dirty.
292
00:13:27,914 --> 00:13:30,016
You?
Filthy.
293
00:13:32,219 --> 00:13:34,920
Say, you want to
dock that barge?
294
00:13:34,955 --> 00:13:36,489
Oh, always a lady.
295
00:13:38,358 --> 00:13:39,358
Let's do this.
296
00:14:13,894 --> 00:14:16,228
Well, maybe some other time.
Yeah.
297
00:14:36,483 --> 00:14:38,918
Oh, and don't forget to get
your parking validated
298
00:14:38,952 --> 00:14:40,820
before you leave.
299
00:14:40,854 --> 00:14:42,755
Merc really wanted to be here,
300
00:14:42,789 --> 00:14:45,124
but he had to be in New York.
301
00:14:47,094 --> 00:14:51,030
Sean and Beverly, this is Andy
Button, our head of casting.
302
00:14:51,064 --> 00:14:54,133
Huge fan. Oh, my God.
303
00:14:54,167 --> 00:14:55,868
I've just been watching
tapes of your show.
304
00:14:55,902 --> 00:14:58,270
Beyond hysterical.
Beyond.
305
00:14:58,305 --> 00:15:00,473
And Myra Licht, head of comedy.
306
00:15:00,507 --> 00:15:02,975
It's really funny.
307
00:15:03,009 --> 00:15:06,278
There you go.
Sit, sit, sit.
308
00:15:06,313 --> 00:15:09,014
So, are you settling in?
309
00:15:09,049 --> 00:15:10,316
Some house, huh?
310
00:15:10,350 --> 00:15:11,951
Ohh!
It's insane.
311
00:15:11,985 --> 00:15:13,619
The only thing that's
missing is a moat.
312
00:15:13,653 --> 00:15:16,155
Well, get a big rating,
Merc will dig you a moat.
313
00:15:16,189 --> 00:15:18,124
She's not kidding.
314
00:15:18,158 --> 00:15:20,426
So, do you all your writers
get houses like that?
315
00:15:20,460 --> 00:15:21,460
Oh, no!
316
00:15:21,495 --> 00:15:23,062
No, no, no.
317
00:15:23,096 --> 00:15:24,964
We just finished shooting
a reality show there,
318
00:15:24,998 --> 00:15:26,432
and we had six weeks
left on the lease,
319
00:15:26,466 --> 00:15:28,434
and we needed a place
for you guys.
320
00:15:28,468 --> 00:15:31,637
If you get bored, you can
vote each other off.
321
00:15:31,671 --> 00:15:34,206
Oh, well, that would
explain the columns.
322
00:15:34,241 --> 00:15:36,208
Several of them are
made of polystyrene.
323
00:15:36,243 --> 00:15:38,978
They're probably left over
from some set.
324
00:15:39,012 --> 00:15:40,613
They use that house for
a lot of reality shows.
325
00:15:40,647 --> 00:15:42,214
They shot a season of
The Bachelor there,
326
00:15:42,249 --> 00:15:44,383
and, I think
The Apprentice L.A.
327
00:15:44,418 --> 00:15:46,485
We just had 12 girls
living there,
328
00:15:46,520 --> 00:15:48,087
competing to become
a supermodel.
329
00:15:48,121 --> 00:15:50,523
Right, the bathroom did
have a vague vomity smell.
330
00:15:50,557 --> 00:15:52,892
That would be why.
Ha ha ha!
331
00:15:52,926 --> 00:15:55,961
So, Lyman's Boys.
332
00:15:55,996 --> 00:15:57,530
Ohh! Ha ha ha!
333
00:15:57,564 --> 00:15:59,298
Let's talk about casting.
334
00:15:59,332 --> 00:16:01,367
Well, we already have
Julian committed
335
00:16:01,401 --> 00:16:02,802
to recreate the role of Lyman,
336
00:16:02,836 --> 00:16:04,670
so that's half the battle
right there.
337
00:16:04,704 --> 00:16:07,006
We love Julian!
338
00:16:07,040 --> 00:16:08,641
Comic god.
339
00:16:08,675 --> 00:16:10,242
He's hilarious.
340
00:16:10,277 --> 00:16:13,579
We just need to find a
time when he can fly over
341
00:16:13,613 --> 00:16:15,314
and audition for Merc.
342
00:16:15,348 --> 00:16:16,882
Audition?
343
00:16:16,917 --> 00:16:18,884
No one gets cast in anything
344
00:16:18,919 --> 00:16:20,419
without Merc seeing them first.
345
00:16:20,454 --> 00:16:22,288
That's mad.
346
00:16:22,322 --> 00:16:24,390
Merc loves the show.
Julian is the show.
347
00:16:24,424 --> 00:16:27,026
Why... should he
have to audition?
348
00:16:29,696 --> 00:16:32,331
Yeah, um...
349
00:16:32,365 --> 00:16:34,567
there is a chance
350
00:16:34,601 --> 00:16:38,337
Merc may not have
actually seen your show.
351
00:16:38,371 --> 00:16:40,072
What?
What?
352
00:16:40,106 --> 00:16:41,907
I'm not saying that
he hasn't seen it.
353
00:16:41,942 --> 00:16:43,843
Has he seen it?
No.
354
00:16:43,877 --> 00:16:47,613
Hang on. He told us
he loved it.
355
00:16:47,647 --> 00:16:50,015
He said he wanted
to have sex with it.
356
00:16:51,485 --> 00:16:53,018
Well, if I had a nickel
357
00:16:53,053 --> 00:16:56,055
for everything Merc would have
sex with, sight unseen...
358
00:16:56,089 --> 00:16:57,423
She'd have a lot of nickels.
359
00:16:57,457 --> 00:16:59,758
I'd be rich.
Ha ha ha!
360
00:16:59,793 --> 00:17:01,427
Then what about it did he love?
361
00:17:01,461 --> 00:17:03,796
Uh, hello? It's a hit!
362
00:17:03,830 --> 00:17:06,499
It wins awards.
It ran for four years.
363
00:17:07,701 --> 00:17:09,168
Unbelievable.
364
00:17:09,202 --> 00:17:10,870
We have all seen it,
365
00:17:10,904 --> 00:17:13,038
and we do love it.
366
00:17:13,073 --> 00:17:15,341
Major love.
Mm-hm.
367
00:17:17,077 --> 00:17:20,279
Merc's never seen the show?
368
00:17:21,848 --> 00:17:23,582
I can't...
369
00:17:23,617 --> 00:17:24,817
I mean, that's...
370
00:17:26,520 --> 00:17:27,786
Help me.
371
00:17:27,821 --> 00:17:29,321
You're articulating it
perfectly.
372
00:17:29,356 --> 00:17:33,392
Which is why he really
needs to see Julian read.
373
00:17:33,426 --> 00:17:35,528
But we've already
offered him the part.
374
00:17:35,562 --> 00:17:38,230
He gave up a play in the
West End to do this.
375
00:17:38,265 --> 00:17:39,832
I hear you, I do.
376
00:17:39,866 --> 00:17:43,369
And I am sure Merc
will just flip over him.
377
00:17:43,403 --> 00:17:46,672
I mean, my God!
It's Julian...
378
00:17:46,706 --> 00:17:48,307
Bullard.
Bullard.
379
00:17:48,341 --> 00:17:51,343
Can't Merc just watch
some tapes of the show?
380
00:17:51,378 --> 00:17:54,013
It's better if we
do it in person.
381
00:17:54,047 --> 00:17:56,815
He's not a big
TV-watcher.
382
00:17:59,286 --> 00:18:00,853
And if we say no?
383
00:18:04,558 --> 00:18:07,226
You don't want
to say no to Merc.
384
00:18:07,260 --> 00:18:08,561
Mmm.
385
00:18:08,595 --> 00:18:11,797
You really want him
on your team.
386
00:18:11,831 --> 00:18:14,300
I thought he was on our team.
387
00:18:14,334 --> 00:18:16,201
Totally. Ha!
388
00:18:16,236 --> 00:18:19,972
But if he likes Julian...
and he will...
389
00:18:20,006 --> 00:18:23,075
you're pretty much guaranteed
you're on the air.
390
00:18:23,109 --> 00:18:24,643
He already guaranteed
we were on the air.
391
00:18:24,678 --> 00:18:26,078
Absolutely!
392
00:18:26,112 --> 00:18:29,415
But, you know, nothing's in stone.
393
00:18:29,449 --> 00:18:30,883
Actually, Merc said
this was in stone.
394
00:18:30,917 --> 00:18:33,419
And it is.
But, you know...
395
00:18:33,453 --> 00:18:35,487
Clearly, we don't know.
396
00:18:35,522 --> 00:18:37,623
It's in stone, but...
397
00:18:38,925 --> 00:18:40,326
...stone... Ha ha!
398
00:18:40,360 --> 00:18:42,695
There's things
stronger than stone.
399
00:18:42,729 --> 00:18:44,496
Like what?
400
00:18:44,531 --> 00:18:46,865
Like Merc.
Yeah, Merc.
401
00:18:46,900 --> 00:18:48,968
Merc is stronger than stone.
402
00:18:52,372 --> 00:18:54,807
It's outrageous!
No, I know.
403
00:18:54,841 --> 00:18:57,376
He has to audition... the man has
played the part for four years!
404
00:18:57,410 --> 00:18:59,411
It's insane!
What are you eating?
405
00:18:59,446 --> 00:19:01,380
Nuts from the plane.
They're awful.
406
00:19:01,414 --> 00:19:03,415
Do you want some?
Sure.
407
00:19:08,955 --> 00:19:10,322
Hello, Wallace.
408
00:19:11,591 --> 00:19:13,058
And you're here to see...?
409
00:19:18,298 --> 00:19:19,965
Hmm. Heh.
410
00:19:21,868 --> 00:19:23,268
Oh, I remember this scene.
411
00:19:23,303 --> 00:19:24,570
It's rather good.
412
00:19:24,604 --> 00:19:27,006
Julian, thank you again
for doing this.
413
00:19:27,040 --> 00:19:28,974
We're horrified you even
need to go through it.
414
00:19:29,009 --> 00:19:32,945
Oh, peaches, don't give
it a second thought.
415
00:19:32,979 --> 00:19:34,813
I understand.
I'm not new.
416
00:19:34,848 --> 00:19:36,815
The King won't let us play
417
00:19:36,850 --> 00:19:39,251
until he shows everybody
how big his dick is.
418
00:19:39,285 --> 00:19:41,253
Though, you'd think
they'd have wives
419
00:19:41,287 --> 00:19:43,055
and boyfriends
for that. But no.
420
00:19:43,089 --> 00:19:44,923
Merc's here.
We can start.
421
00:19:44,958 --> 00:19:46,592
All right.
422
00:19:49,229 --> 00:19:51,797
'Ello, guv'nor! Come 'ere!
423
00:19:51,831 --> 00:19:54,366
Oh. Every time.
424
00:19:55,568 --> 00:19:58,437
So, shall I bring in Julian?
425
00:19:58,471 --> 00:19:59,805
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
426
00:20:01,574 --> 00:20:04,143
Everyone, may I introduce...
427
00:20:04,177 --> 00:20:06,278
Julian Bullard.
428
00:20:06,312 --> 00:20:08,781
Welcome, Julian.
Thanks for coming in.
429
00:20:08,815 --> 00:20:10,215
Not at all.
430
00:20:10,250 --> 00:20:12,317
You know, the last time
I had to audition
431
00:20:12,352 --> 00:20:14,653
was... '87.
432
00:20:14,688 --> 00:20:17,823
It was to do Private Lives
with Dame Judi at the National,
433
00:20:17,857 --> 00:20:20,125
so this is a bit of a treat.
434
00:20:20,160 --> 00:20:21,393
Well, we all appreciate it.
435
00:20:21,428 --> 00:20:23,996
Mm. And with whom
will I be reading?
436
00:20:24,030 --> 00:20:26,832
Me. Career highlight.
437
00:20:26,866 --> 00:20:28,867
For those who haven't
seen this episode,
438
00:20:28,902 --> 00:20:31,603
in this scene, Julian has
to tell one of the boys
439
00:20:31,638 --> 00:20:33,739
he's been asked
to leave St. Abban's.
440
00:20:33,773 --> 00:20:35,174
Oh, this is a good one!
441
00:20:36,242 --> 00:20:37,409
Wow.
442
00:20:37,444 --> 00:20:39,344
Whenever you're ready.
443
00:20:40,480 --> 00:20:42,314
Robbie...
444
00:20:42,348 --> 00:20:45,984
I'm afraid your time at
St. Abban's has come to an end.
445
00:20:46,019 --> 00:20:47,619
What? Why?
446
00:20:47,654 --> 00:20:50,189
Well, the teachers and I think
447
00:20:50,223 --> 00:20:52,224
that you would do better
at a school
448
00:20:52,258 --> 00:20:55,360
with a less academically
demanding curriculum.
449
00:20:55,395 --> 00:20:56,895
Why?
450
00:20:56,930 --> 00:20:58,831
We feel that you need
451
00:20:58,865 --> 00:21:02,935
a more intellectually
diminished environment.
452
00:21:04,504 --> 00:21:05,971
I don't understand.
453
00:21:06,005 --> 00:21:09,608
Uh, how to put this?
454
00:21:09,642 --> 00:21:11,210
You're not bright.
455
00:21:12,312 --> 00:21:13,479
I'm bright.
456
00:21:13,513 --> 00:21:15,447
No.
I'm not stupid.
457
00:21:15,482 --> 00:21:17,683
You are not not stupid.
458
00:21:19,085 --> 00:21:20,419
Was that too many "nots"?
459
00:21:20,453 --> 00:21:22,321
Maybe I'm just not working
up to my full potential.
460
00:21:22,355 --> 00:21:25,057
No, this is you
firing on all cylinders.
461
00:21:26,526 --> 00:21:28,460
But all is not bleak.
462
00:21:28,495 --> 00:21:30,763
For you, young man,
have something
463
00:21:30,797 --> 00:21:33,866
far more important
than intelligence.
464
00:21:33,900 --> 00:21:36,268
You are...
465
00:21:36,302 --> 00:21:37,903
attractive.
466
00:21:39,839 --> 00:21:41,507
There isn't a Nobel laureate
467
00:21:41,541 --> 00:21:43,842
that wouldn't happily
give 20 I.Q. points
468
00:21:43,877 --> 00:21:46,378
for those chiseled cheekbones
469
00:21:46,412 --> 00:21:48,080
and that pert little bum.
470
00:21:49,616 --> 00:21:54,486
Plus, your family is rich.
471
00:21:54,521 --> 00:21:57,890
My God. You could be running
this whole country one day.
472
00:21:57,924 --> 00:21:59,591
And I assure you,
473
00:21:59,626 --> 00:22:01,660
intelligence would only
get in your way.
474
00:22:09,536 --> 00:22:11,870
Julian, could you just
give us a minute?
475
00:22:11,905 --> 00:22:14,406
Certainly.
Thank you.
476
00:22:15,708 --> 00:22:17,409
Oh, wow.
477
00:22:17,443 --> 00:22:19,578
That was a treat.
478
00:22:19,612 --> 00:22:22,047
I gotta tell you...
he's the real deal, huh?
479
00:22:22,081 --> 00:22:23,949
Yes, he is.
480
00:22:23,983 --> 00:22:25,684
So, we're all set?
481
00:22:25,718 --> 00:22:27,553
Uh...
482
00:22:27,587 --> 00:22:29,588
hmm...
483
00:22:29,622 --> 00:22:31,757
Yes?
Well...
484
00:22:31,791 --> 00:22:33,091
is it me?
485
00:22:33,126 --> 00:22:36,028
Or does anybody else...
486
00:22:36,062 --> 00:22:38,697
feel like he comes off
a bit too English?
487
00:22:38,731 --> 00:22:40,933
Yeah, a little.
Yeah, yeah.
488
00:22:40,967 --> 00:22:43,802
Hmm. Too English.
489
00:22:43,837 --> 00:22:45,938
Possibly it's because...
490
00:22:45,972 --> 00:22:47,539
he's English?
491
00:22:47,574 --> 00:22:49,141
Yeah!
492
00:22:49,175 --> 00:22:51,643
No, no. He just...
493
00:22:51,678 --> 00:22:54,880
He sounds, uh, a little too...
494
00:22:54,914 --> 00:22:56,048
mmm, butlery.
495
00:22:56,082 --> 00:22:58,150
I mean, if we're doing
496
00:22:58,184 --> 00:23:00,085
an American version
of the show...
497
00:23:00,119 --> 00:23:01,553
Yes, but he's playing
the headmaster
498
00:23:01,588 --> 00:23:02,921
of an elite boarding school.
499
00:23:02,956 --> 00:23:04,823
The boys will be American,
500
00:23:04,858 --> 00:23:06,358
the other teachers.
501
00:23:06,392 --> 00:23:08,994
Why can't he be British?
502
00:23:09,028 --> 00:23:10,629
Oh, no, I hear you.
503
00:23:10,663 --> 00:23:12,764
But we need the audience
to like him.
504
00:23:12,799 --> 00:23:13,966
Hmm, that's true.
Oh, yeah.
505
00:23:14,000 --> 00:23:16,568
He has got to be likeable, mmm.
506
00:23:18,438 --> 00:23:20,239
I can't believe we're
actually asking you this.
507
00:23:20,273 --> 00:23:22,674
Truly, I am having
an out-of-body experience.
508
00:23:22,709 --> 00:23:24,142
I may be sick.
509
00:23:24,177 --> 00:23:27,346
Julian, we'd understand
completely if you said no,
510
00:23:27,380 --> 00:23:29,615
but could you possibly
do the scene again
511
00:23:29,649 --> 00:23:31,283
in an American accent?
512
00:23:31,317 --> 00:23:32,584
No problem.
513
00:23:32,619 --> 00:23:34,253
Really?
Yeah.
514
00:23:34,287 --> 00:23:36,021
Oh, dear ones.
515
00:23:36,055 --> 00:23:37,789
I was doing Eugene O'Neill
516
00:23:37,824 --> 00:23:39,825
and Tennessee Williams
before you were born.
517
00:23:39,859 --> 00:23:42,861
Ohh! How old are you?
518
00:23:42,896 --> 00:23:45,697
Piss off.
Ha ha!
519
00:23:48,167 --> 00:23:50,636
You all remember
Julian Bullard.
520
00:23:50,670 --> 00:23:53,739
Welcome back,
Mr. Bullard.
521
00:23:53,773 --> 00:23:56,341
Shall we do this?
522
00:23:56,376 --> 00:23:58,343
Um...
523
00:23:58,378 --> 00:23:59,878
Robbie.
524
00:23:59,913 --> 00:24:04,683
I'm afraid your time at St.
Abban's has come to an end.
525
00:24:04,717 --> 00:24:06,285
What? Why?
526
00:24:06,319 --> 00:24:08,754
Well, the teachers and I
527
00:24:08,788 --> 00:24:11,089
think you would
do better at a school
528
00:24:11,124 --> 00:24:14,359
with a less academically
demanding curriculum.
529
00:24:14,394 --> 00:24:16,028
Why?
530
00:24:16,062 --> 00:24:20,766
Well, we feel you need
a more intellectually...
531
00:24:20,800 --> 00:24:22,935
diminished environment.
532
00:24:22,969 --> 00:24:24,503
I don't understand.
533
00:24:24,537 --> 00:24:27,105
How to put this?
534
00:24:27,140 --> 00:24:29,508
You're not bright.
535
00:24:31,744 --> 00:24:33,779
I'm bright.
No.
536
00:24:33,813 --> 00:24:35,614
I'm not stupid.
537
00:24:35,648 --> 00:24:38,951
You're not not stupid.
538
00:24:38,985 --> 00:24:41,019
I'm sorry. Can I just go
back a little bit on that?
539
00:24:41,054 --> 00:24:43,121
Yeah, yeah, absolutely.
540
00:24:43,156 --> 00:24:45,123
So, um...
541
00:24:45,158 --> 00:24:49,127
Well, how to put this?
542
00:24:49,162 --> 00:24:52,130
Uh, you're not bright.
543
00:24:53,399 --> 00:24:54,666
You're... Uhh.
544
00:24:54,701 --> 00:24:57,035
You're not bright.
Um...
545
00:24:57,070 --> 00:24:59,738
You're not bright.
You're stupid.
546
00:24:59,772 --> 00:25:02,140
I'm sorry. Could...
547
00:25:02,175 --> 00:25:04,476
Could I just try
one more thing?
548
00:25:04,510 --> 00:25:06,578
Absolutely. No problem.
Yeah, anything.
549
00:25:06,612 --> 00:25:07,713
Southern, maybe?
550
00:25:07,747 --> 00:25:09,881
OK.
Um...
551
00:25:09,916 --> 00:25:12,851
Um... um...
552
00:25:12,885 --> 00:25:15,587
Uh, you're not bright.
553
00:25:15,621 --> 00:25:17,589
I'm bright.
No.
554
00:25:17,623 --> 00:25:18,924
I'm not stupid.
555
00:25:18,958 --> 00:25:21,259
You're not not stupid.
556
00:25:22,929 --> 00:25:26,164
That too many "nots" there...
557
00:25:26,199 --> 00:25:27,499
partner?
558
00:25:29,535 --> 00:25:31,436
I suppose that would be
559
00:25:31,471 --> 00:25:34,406
if I was the headmaster
of a cowboy school.
560
00:25:34,440 --> 00:25:36,908
All right.
561
00:25:36,943 --> 00:25:40,012
I believe we have seen enough.
562
00:25:40,046 --> 00:25:41,913
I know the way out.
563
00:25:41,948 --> 00:25:44,349
I have been here before.
564
00:25:44,384 --> 00:25:47,019
Thank me very much
for coming in today.
565
00:25:47,053 --> 00:25:50,288
And let's hope to heaven...
566
00:25:50,323 --> 00:25:52,691
there's a bar in the hotel.
567
00:25:57,163 --> 00:26:00,365
Is it me, or was he
just not funny?
568
00:26:05,738 --> 00:26:07,472
What just happened?
569
00:26:07,507 --> 00:26:09,808
I don't know.
And, in case you're wondering,
570
00:26:09,842 --> 00:26:11,376
I'll be wanting
at least that much.
571
00:26:14,947 --> 00:26:17,282
Bloody pillar.
572
00:26:18,818 --> 00:26:21,153
All right, all right.
573
00:26:21,187 --> 00:26:23,155
Let's look on
the positive side.
574
00:26:23,189 --> 00:26:25,424
Positive side?
Well...
575
00:26:25,458 --> 00:26:26,925
No, just once, please,
576
00:26:26,959 --> 00:26:28,727
do not try and find
a positive side!
577
00:26:28,761 --> 00:26:31,363
Because even if you can,
which I very much doubt,
578
00:26:31,397 --> 00:26:34,833
my negative is so much, much
bigger than your positive.
579
00:26:34,867 --> 00:26:38,003
My negative openly mocks
your positive.
580
00:26:38,037 --> 00:26:40,138
My negative slaps
your positive around.
581
00:26:40,173 --> 00:26:41,807
My negative
grabs your positive,
582
00:26:41,841 --> 00:26:45,077
bends it over the sofa,
and buggers it from behind.
583
00:26:47,080 --> 00:26:49,347
My positive did not enjoy that.
584
00:26:54,687 --> 00:26:56,121
Hello?
585
00:26:56,155 --> 00:26:59,324
Hi, Carol.
586
00:26:59,358 --> 00:27:00,959
Put her on that speaker thing.
587
00:27:00,993 --> 00:27:02,294
Hi, kids!
588
00:27:02,328 --> 00:27:03,595
Tough day.
589
00:27:03,629 --> 00:27:05,197
Yep.
Yes, it was.
590
00:27:05,231 --> 00:27:07,499
Yeah, we all feel terrible.
591
00:27:07,533 --> 00:27:10,035
Merc is sending you a
basket of loganberries.
592
00:27:10,069 --> 00:27:12,003
Oh, lovely.
593
00:27:12,038 --> 00:27:13,538
So, how are you two doing?
594
00:27:13,573 --> 00:27:15,440
Well, er...
595
00:27:15,475 --> 00:27:17,876
We're not feeling positive,
I can tell you that.
596
00:27:17,910 --> 00:27:18,944
I'm sure.
597
00:27:18,978 --> 00:27:20,278
Anyway...
598
00:27:20,313 --> 00:27:21,847
we should all try
and look forward.
599
00:27:21,881 --> 00:27:24,883
We still love
Lyman's Boys.
600
00:27:24,917 --> 00:27:27,953
We do!
Mm-hm.
601
00:27:27,987 --> 00:27:30,655
We just find it hard to imagine
doing it without Julian.
602
00:27:30,690 --> 00:27:32,390
I understand.
603
00:27:32,425 --> 00:27:33,925
But before we go there,
604
00:27:33,960 --> 00:27:36,528
we wanted to share
an idea with you.
605
00:27:36,562 --> 00:27:38,663
It's a different way to go,
606
00:27:38,698 --> 00:27:40,732
so keep your minds open.
607
00:27:40,766 --> 00:27:42,200
We just found out
608
00:27:42,235 --> 00:27:44,336
that there is
an actor available.
609
00:27:44,370 --> 00:27:46,304
Huge star.
610
00:27:46,339 --> 00:27:48,073
Hysterically funny.
611
00:27:48,107 --> 00:27:49,808
The audience
just loves him.
612
00:27:49,842 --> 00:27:51,743
And he's ready
to come back to TV.
613
00:27:51,777 --> 00:27:54,713
Merc thinks that he would
be perfect for this.
614
00:27:54,747 --> 00:27:56,481
Really? Who?
615
00:27:57,717 --> 00:27:59,885
Matt LeBlanc.
616
00:28:16,903 --> 00:28:19,437
What, you want me for the
old fat guy's part? Thanks.
617
00:28:19,472 --> 00:28:21,873
We don't want you.
Again, thanks.
618
00:28:21,908 --> 00:28:23,041
They loved you!
619
00:28:23,075 --> 00:28:24,843
I don't know that I love them.
620
00:28:24,877 --> 00:28:27,445
Don't let them force you to
cast anyone you don't want.
621
00:28:28,648 --> 00:28:29,848
I'm totally wrong
for it, aren't I?
622
00:28:29,882 --> 00:28:31,716
Spectacularly wrong.
623
00:28:31,751 --> 00:28:33,652
We got Matt LeBlanc!
624
00:28:33,686 --> 00:28:35,320
What?!
625
00:28:35,520 --> 00:28:45,720
Sync by honeybunny
www.addic7ed.com
625
00:28:46,305 --> 00:28:52,409
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