1
00:00:05,844 --> 00:00:09,583
I want your show on my network.
What, us come to LA?
2
00:00:09,665 --> 00:00:10,985
Let's talk about casting.
3
00:00:10,986 --> 00:00:14,584
Well, we already have Julian
committed to recreate
the role of Lyman.
4
00:00:14,585 --> 00:00:16,504
We got Matt LeBlanc!
5
00:00:16,505 --> 00:00:17,784
Yeah!
6
00:00:17,785 --> 00:00:20,184
You want me
for the old fat guy's part? Thanks!
7
00:00:20,185 --> 00:00:22,704
WE don't want you.
Again, thanks!
8
00:00:22,705 --> 00:00:25,544
Matt's been telling me
about the changes for his character.
9
00:00:25,545 --> 00:00:27,784
I love that he's a coach.
We can call it Pucks!
10
00:00:27,785 --> 00:00:29,544
Did I mention I hate this show?
11
00:00:29,545 --> 00:00:31,584
I believe it's come up.
12
00:00:31,585 --> 00:00:36,504
You're much more attractive than
she is. You are. She's all plastic.
13
00:00:36,505 --> 00:00:37,984
Those boobs...
14
00:00:37,985 --> 00:00:40,064
Yuk.
15
00:00:40,065 --> 00:00:44,024
You are a brilliant,
brilliant writer.
16
00:00:44,025 --> 00:00:45,864
You know what this is about!
17
00:00:45,865 --> 00:00:48,184
Morning? Oh, my God!
18
00:00:48,185 --> 00:00:50,344
Look, I have no
interest in her at all!
19
00:00:50,345 --> 00:00:53,384
Bev, stop! You're on the wrong side!
20
00:00:53,385 --> 00:00:55,704
No, Sean, YOU'RE on the wrong side!
21
00:00:55,705 --> 00:00:57,545
That's not what I meant!
22
00:01:03,265 --> 00:01:04,784
Did you shag my wife?
23
00:01:04,785 --> 00:01:08,784
She totally started it, OK.
She was driving on the wrong
side of the street.
24
00:01:08,785 --> 00:01:10,105
So you fucked her?!
25
00:01:12,825 --> 00:01:15,824
The thought that I was with him
physically disgusts me.
26
00:01:15,825 --> 00:01:18,464
I'm actually nauseated, it makes me
want to vomit. All right!
27
00:01:18,465 --> 00:01:21,984
Not to get too melodramatic,
but I think...
28
00:01:21,985 --> 00:01:23,704
you've broken my heart.
29
00:01:23,705 --> 00:01:25,384
'We're a hit!'
30
00:01:25,385 --> 00:01:26,824
What?
31
00:01:26,825 --> 00:01:30,064
The test audiences loved Pucks!
What are you saying?
32
00:01:30,065 --> 00:01:34,305
I'm saying unpack those bloody bags,
you've got some telly to make!
33
00:01:36,785 --> 00:01:38,225
Woo hoo!
34
00:01:40,107 --> 00:02:23,581
Subtitles by MemoryOnSmells
http://UKsubtitles.ru
35
00:02:25,985 --> 00:02:27,464
C'mon, what's going on?
36
00:02:27,465 --> 00:02:28,864
Nothing, I'm fine.
37
00:02:28,865 --> 00:02:32,704
Hey, listen, I'm not just your coach,
I'm also your friend.
38
00:02:32,705 --> 00:02:34,664
His dads are getting separated.
39
00:02:34,665 --> 00:02:38,465
The gay dads? Right!
Not his two straight dads.
40
00:02:39,905 --> 00:02:41,384
OK...
41
00:02:41,385 --> 00:02:44,864
One of my dads had an affair with
a woman and now he's saying he's bi.
42
00:02:44,865 --> 00:02:47,744
But my other dad says
it's just a mid-life crisis.
43
00:02:47,745 --> 00:02:53,464
Oh, and the woman he had the affair
with is the surrogate whose
egg they used to make... me.
44
00:02:53,465 --> 00:02:55,225
Thoughts, Coach?
45
00:02:57,000 --> 00:03:03,074
For Important Kodi Updates and the Chance to Win an
NVIDIA Shield TV - Visit www.tvaddons.co/december
46
00:03:05,625 --> 00:03:06,665
Cut!
47
00:03:10,785 --> 00:03:13,344
Nice work today, everyone.
48
00:03:13,345 --> 00:03:14,945
Check the gate.
49
00:03:17,425 --> 00:03:18,624
Not bad.
50
00:03:18,625 --> 00:03:21,344
I think that worked. The new
boys are pretty good. Hmm...
51
00:03:21,345 --> 00:03:23,944
What? The one with the hair.
52
00:03:23,945 --> 00:03:24,984
Stoke.
53
00:03:24,985 --> 00:03:28,744
Stoke! What kind of a parent
names their child Stoke?
54
00:03:28,745 --> 00:03:29,864
I know.
55
00:03:29,865 --> 00:03:34,024
It's like saying you'd better be
attractive, or it's all going
to be ironic from here on in.
56
00:03:34,025 --> 00:03:37,264
Well, as an actor,
he's lucky he's cute.
57
00:03:37,265 --> 00:03:39,745
Wait. Go like this...
God, you've got a lot of teeth.
58
00:03:39,746 --> 00:03:42,905
Right there. What?
You've got a thing.
59
00:03:44,185 --> 00:03:47,664
Hmm, poppy seed. Must be
from my bagel this morning.
60
00:03:47,665 --> 00:03:49,985
So that's been there all day,
why didn't you tell me?!
61
00:03:49,986 --> 00:03:53,344
I just told you. Yeah, now,
after everyone's already seen it!
62
00:03:53,345 --> 00:03:55,065
OK, put it back!
63
00:03:56,825 --> 00:03:57,864
Night. Night.
64
00:03:57,865 --> 00:03:59,464
Good job today. Thank you.
65
00:03:59,465 --> 00:04:00,505
Yeah, nice work.
66
00:04:04,105 --> 00:04:06,984
Nice underpants. Thanks.
67
00:04:06,985 --> 00:04:09,904
Hey, do you guys ever drink coffee?
68
00:04:09,905 --> 00:04:12,704
Cos this company sent me,
like, a dozen free coffee makers.
69
00:04:12,705 --> 00:04:13,744
Why?
70
00:04:13,745 --> 00:04:16,025
I don't know. Who cares?
They're free, you want one?
71
00:04:16,026 --> 00:04:18,144
Oh, I'm all right.
No thanks. Thank you.
72
00:04:18,145 --> 00:04:20,584
So today went well?
Absolutely.
73
00:04:20,585 --> 00:04:22,865
You guys are happy? Very. Night.
74
00:04:24,145 --> 00:04:25,864
Night.
75
00:04:25,865 --> 00:04:28,065
I'll take a coffee maker.
Did I ask you?
76
00:04:35,145 --> 00:04:36,985
What are you thinking about
for tonight?
77
00:04:36,986 --> 00:04:40,544
I thought I'd have another
go at that third scene.
78
00:04:40,545 --> 00:04:43,144
Well, if you want to run it by me,
I'll be home.
79
00:04:43,145 --> 00:04:44,224
Flossing.
80
00:04:44,225 --> 00:04:46,744
Right, well, have a nice night.
81
00:04:46,745 --> 00:04:49,185
You too. See you tomorrow.
82
00:05:10,825 --> 00:05:12,504
Hey!
83
00:05:12,505 --> 00:05:13,984
You all right?
84
00:05:13,985 --> 00:05:15,704
I'm great.
85
00:05:15,705 --> 00:05:17,545
Don't look great.
86
00:05:19,545 --> 00:05:22,384
Merc and I went ring shopping.
87
00:05:22,385 --> 00:05:23,504
Oh my God!
88
00:05:23,505 --> 00:05:24,545
For his wife.
89
00:05:26,745 --> 00:05:29,464
He took you
ring shopping for his wife?!
90
00:05:29,465 --> 00:05:30,544
Mm-hm.
91
00:05:30,545 --> 00:05:32,384
That sounds cruel, even for him.
92
00:05:32,385 --> 00:05:36,024
It's their anniversary,
and he knows he has terrible taste,
93
00:05:36,025 --> 00:05:39,344
so he wanted me along to help him
buy something pretty.
94
00:05:39,345 --> 00:05:40,944
Oh, honey...
95
00:05:40,945 --> 00:05:43,024
He's so good to her.
96
00:05:43,025 --> 00:05:44,825
Well...
97
00:05:46,865 --> 00:05:49,944
I found this really gorgeous ring.
98
00:05:49,945 --> 00:05:53,744
And all the time I'm thinking,
"The woman is blind!
99
00:05:53,745 --> 00:05:58,184
"Buy ME a fucking ring
and give her one of her old ones!
100
00:05:58,185 --> 00:05:59,544
"How will she know?!"
101
00:05:59,545 --> 00:06:02,504
And then I feel guilty
for thinking that, like,
102
00:06:02,505 --> 00:06:05,785
"Oh, I am this terrible person."
103
00:06:06,785 --> 00:06:10,424
Really?
We're gonna pull at THAT thread?
104
00:06:10,425 --> 00:06:13,704
Sorry. No, I'M sorry.
105
00:06:13,705 --> 00:06:15,665
Tonight's supposed to be about you.
106
00:06:15,666 --> 00:06:17,064
OK, OK.
107
00:06:17,065 --> 00:06:20,264
I'm here now.
108
00:06:20,265 --> 00:06:22,784
I'm great! Let's celebrate.
109
00:06:22,785 --> 00:06:25,544
Here is to Pucks!
110
00:06:25,545 --> 00:06:29,385
Big premiere tomorrow night. Woo-hoo.
Woo-hoo.
111
00:06:32,065 --> 00:06:34,144
I've got to read a script later.
112
00:06:34,145 --> 00:06:35,465
Want to make it hilarious?
113
00:06:40,025 --> 00:06:41,704
Ooh, what's this?
114
00:06:41,705 --> 00:06:43,544
It's for Sean...
115
00:06:43,545 --> 00:06:46,664
And now you're thinking everyone's
getting presents but you.
116
00:06:46,665 --> 00:06:48,824
I didn't say it out loud.
117
00:06:48,825 --> 00:06:53,305
It's his birthday.
Our first one apart.
118
00:06:54,865 --> 00:06:58,104
So, that'll be fun!
119
00:06:58,105 --> 00:06:59,385
Aah. What d'you get him?
120
00:06:59,386 --> 00:07:03,184
A watch. It's a vintage Breitling
he's always wanted.
121
00:07:03,185 --> 00:07:04,824
So he'll love that.
122
00:07:04,825 --> 00:07:09,464
Or, he'll think it's way
over the top and I'll come off
as desperate and needy.
123
00:07:09,465 --> 00:07:11,184
Or that.
124
00:07:11,185 --> 00:07:14,544
I hate this. This is my husband!
125
00:07:14,545 --> 00:07:19,785
Now it's like he's some boy who
may or may not still like me.
126
00:07:21,665 --> 00:07:23,904
Oh, fuck it!
127
00:07:23,905 --> 00:07:25,585
Speaking from my own relationships,
128
00:07:25,586 --> 00:07:28,464
a little "needy"
isn't always a bad thing.
129
00:07:28,465 --> 00:07:32,864
Really? I mean even though you might
come off as kind of pathetic,
130
00:07:32,865 --> 00:07:34,824
on a deeper level,
131
00:07:34,825 --> 00:07:39,304
by being able to judge you,
it allows him to feel empowered,
132
00:07:39,305 --> 00:07:43,984
and a lot of men need that.
So, it makes them love you more.
133
00:07:43,985 --> 00:07:48,104
So basically, if I'm ever
feeling like the craziest
person on the planet,
134
00:07:48,105 --> 00:07:49,785
I should just have dinner with you.
135
00:07:49,786 --> 00:07:52,665
That's what I'm here for.
136
00:07:59,625 --> 00:08:02,384
We're not even on the air yet
and they're fucking killing us!
137
00:08:02,385 --> 00:08:04,264
There's not one good one.
138
00:08:04,265 --> 00:08:05,345
So stop reading them.
139
00:08:05,346 --> 00:08:07,064
Jesus! What? The New York Post...
140
00:08:07,065 --> 00:08:09,184
"Pucks! Sucks!"
141
00:08:09,185 --> 00:08:11,824
Well, we just handed him that one.
142
00:08:11,825 --> 00:08:14,064
What, that's the headline?
"Pucks! Sucks!"?
143
00:08:14,065 --> 00:08:16,304
Right. Then he goes on to say
we're not clever.
144
00:08:16,305 --> 00:08:19,144
Please. Stop.
Do not do this to yourself.
145
00:08:19,145 --> 00:08:22,264
Entertainment Weekly -
"LeBlanc shoots a Le Blank."
146
00:08:22,265 --> 00:08:26,104
Well, at least someone
gave it some thought.
147
00:08:26,105 --> 00:08:30,424
"It's hard to imagine how this show
lasted four seasons in the UK."
148
00:08:30,425 --> 00:08:33,744
Because it wasn't this show,
arsehole!
149
00:08:33,745 --> 00:08:34,945
Did you want me?
150
00:08:35,945 --> 00:08:37,864
What?
151
00:08:37,865 --> 00:08:39,144
No.
152
00:08:39,145 --> 00:08:41,024
OK.
153
00:08:41,025 --> 00:08:44,224
Oh wait, wait, here we go.
Huffington Post.
154
00:08:44,225 --> 00:08:47,104
"I was totally prepared to hate
tonight's new comedy Pucks!
155
00:08:47,105 --> 00:08:49,905
"Well the good news is,
I was prepared."
156
00:08:51,265 --> 00:08:53,024
Oh.
157
00:08:53,025 --> 00:08:54,544
Why do they hate us?
158
00:08:54,545 --> 00:08:56,065
Because they're idiots!
159
00:08:56,985 --> 00:08:59,144
No!
160
00:08:59,145 --> 00:09:02,104
So much rage. Why?
It's just a little TV show.
161
00:09:02,105 --> 00:09:04,824
It's not like we're punching Elmo,
it's just a show!
162
00:09:04,825 --> 00:09:07,344
Thank you! It's light, it's funny.
Absolutely.
163
00:09:07,345 --> 00:09:12,384
I mean, it's not brilliant...
No. But is it "an exhausting
rehash of '90s sitcom cliches
164
00:09:12,385 --> 00:09:16,625
"with Matt LeBlanc digging
into his old bag of tricks
and coming up short"?
165
00:09:19,905 --> 00:09:21,104
Hmmm.
166
00:09:21,105 --> 00:09:22,664
Why d'you have to read that one?
167
00:09:22,665 --> 00:09:25,024
It's like they can
see into our souls.
168
00:09:25,025 --> 00:09:26,385
I know.
169
00:09:27,425 --> 00:09:32,424
Maybe we are "an uninspired
placeholder until something
actually funny comes along."
170
00:09:32,425 --> 00:09:33,944
You've started memorising them?
171
00:09:33,945 --> 00:09:36,344
Only the really, really bad ones.
172
00:09:36,345 --> 00:09:38,265
Why did we do this?
173
00:09:39,505 --> 00:09:41,785
Why didn't we just stay at home?
174
00:09:46,105 --> 00:09:49,904
Right. Well, we should get
to the writers' room.
175
00:09:49,905 --> 00:09:51,224
Absolutely. Let's do it.
176
00:09:51,225 --> 00:09:53,984
Probably best not telling anyone
else about the reviews.
177
00:09:53,985 --> 00:09:57,065
Right, because we're the only ones
with the magic box.
178
00:10:10,825 --> 00:10:13,984
Oooh! I see this guy's got you
working the concessions stand.
179
00:10:13,985 --> 00:10:16,944
She's great.
Just don't ask her to make change.
180
00:10:16,945 --> 00:10:18,824
Here you go.
181
00:10:18,825 --> 00:10:20,024
Thanks.
182
00:10:20,025 --> 00:10:24,025
Hi, kids. Big night. Very exciting!
183
00:10:25,585 --> 00:10:27,144
Hello, you!
184
00:10:27,145 --> 00:10:28,584
Popcorn?
185
00:10:28,585 --> 00:10:29,824
Absolutely.
186
00:10:29,825 --> 00:10:30,985
Butter?
187
00:10:32,425 --> 00:10:34,145
Sure.
188
00:10:43,105 --> 00:10:44,984
Here you go.
189
00:10:44,985 --> 00:10:49,064
Yum. So, I saw your name
in the paper today.
190
00:10:49,065 --> 00:10:51,064
For that big "save the bees" thing?
191
00:10:51,065 --> 00:10:52,544
Oh, it's so important.
192
00:10:52,545 --> 00:10:56,864
In the last five years
the worldwide honeybee population
has just been decimated.
193
00:10:56,865 --> 00:11:01,184
And people don't realise
how essential they are for
pollinating our fruits and
vegetables.
194
00:11:01,185 --> 00:11:05,424
And now 50 per cent
of the hives are gone.
195
00:11:05,425 --> 00:11:08,145
It's called "colony collapse
disorder." Stop it!
196
00:11:09,825 --> 00:11:12,104
Well, hopefully we can.
197
00:11:12,105 --> 00:11:13,225
Yes.
198
00:11:14,745 --> 00:11:15,944
Hey!
199
00:11:15,945 --> 00:11:17,664
Our star has arrived.
200
00:11:17,665 --> 00:11:19,944
Hello Matt. Popcorn?
201
00:11:19,945 --> 00:11:23,704
Sure. And by the way, thanks so much,
you guys, for doing this.
202
00:11:23,705 --> 00:11:25,304
Very cool.
203
00:11:25,305 --> 00:11:29,105
Are you kidding? How could I not?
Come on, Matt LeBlanc's first show
since Friends?
204
00:11:30,665 --> 00:11:32,464
OK...
205
00:11:32,465 --> 00:11:33,865
Hey, come and see my new set-up.
206
00:11:36,265 --> 00:11:39,384
Just so you know, this is huge.
207
00:11:39,385 --> 00:11:41,864
He's never screened
a show at his house before.
208
00:11:41,865 --> 00:11:44,024
That's how much he believes in this.
209
00:11:44,025 --> 00:11:47,224
Maybe we should all...
lower our expectations a bit.
210
00:11:47,225 --> 00:11:50,424
I mean, have you read the reviews?
211
00:11:50,425 --> 00:11:54,864
Oh, please!
No one cares about TV reviews.
212
00:11:54,865 --> 00:11:58,904
They hated most of the crap
we've got on the air
and people still watch it.
213
00:11:58,905 --> 00:12:00,465
Oh to be that crap.
214
00:12:02,145 --> 00:12:04,024
Curtain going up. Grab a seat.
215
00:12:04,025 --> 00:12:09,944
'Sometimes you score
and sometimes life just Pucks!
216
00:12:09,945 --> 00:12:14,665
'Matt LeBlanc returns in the
hilarious premiere of Pucks! Next.'
217
00:12:23,905 --> 00:12:25,264
I need a book.
218
00:12:25,265 --> 00:12:27,865
Er, can you be less specific?!
219
00:12:29,585 --> 00:12:32,464
I don't know, I'm looking
for something with pages...
220
00:12:32,465 --> 00:12:33,785
OK, fine, I don't need a book.
221
00:12:35,025 --> 00:12:37,224
'Hey, I read books.'
222
00:12:37,225 --> 00:12:41,424
'You do realise that the swimsuit
issue of a sports magazine
doesn't count as a book?'
223
00:12:41,425 --> 00:12:44,384
'Oh, so now you get to
decide what's a book?
224
00:12:44,385 --> 00:12:47,224
'Anyway, I've called you.'
225
00:12:47,225 --> 00:12:49,304
I know. I left you
three messages.'
226
00:12:49,305 --> 00:12:50,665
'Four.'
227
00:12:52,105 --> 00:12:54,264
'Really? Four?'
228
00:12:54,265 --> 00:12:57,864
'Yeah, and I didn't call you back
four times. We're even.'
229
00:12:57,865 --> 00:12:59,864
'You're so mean.'
230
00:12:59,865 --> 00:13:01,184
It's Matt.
231
00:13:01,185 --> 00:13:02,505
'No, just trying to be clear.'
232
00:13:02,506 --> 00:13:03,624
I know.
233
00:13:03,625 --> 00:13:06,784
'I'm not going out with a guy who's
life centres around a hockey puck.'
Hmm!
234
00:13:06,785 --> 00:13:08,864
Well, maybe
if you spent a little time with me,
235
00:13:08,865 --> 00:13:12,104
you'd see there's more to me
than just my puck.
236
00:13:12,105 --> 00:13:14,904
'Come on, go out with me once, I
promise, my puck won't even come up.'
237
00:13:14,905 --> 00:13:18,224
'Really? Because it seems like
it's probably a puck that
comes up a lot.'
238
00:13:18,225 --> 00:13:20,705
'I'm telling you there's more
to me than just my puck.'
239
00:13:20,706 --> 00:13:24,825
And yet, at the end of the day,
I think your puck is pretty much
what you're all about.
240
00:13:26,745 --> 00:13:29,064
You do realise
that if I die right now,
241
00:13:29,065 --> 00:13:31,785
this is the last conversation
I'll ever hear.
242
00:13:32,825 --> 00:13:34,785
Ha ha! Oh yeah!
243
00:13:43,505 --> 00:13:44,625
How great was that?
244
00:13:44,626 --> 00:13:48,264
Really great! Seriously,
I'm ready to watch it again!
245
00:13:48,265 --> 00:13:50,225
Have I mentioned how much
I love this show?
246
00:13:50,226 --> 00:13:51,304
Yeah!
247
00:13:51,305 --> 00:13:54,584
Everybody, there's coffee
and dessert upstairs.
248
00:13:54,585 --> 00:13:56,384
Oh great, that sounds good.
249
00:13:56,385 --> 00:13:59,545
Oh, you've got some
butter on your pants. What? Oh shit!
250
00:14:01,785 --> 00:14:02,425
Yup, that's butter.
251
00:14:02,426 --> 00:14:04,304
Where's bread when you need it?
252
00:14:04,305 --> 00:14:07,905
OK. OK.
253
00:14:15,825 --> 00:14:19,184
Hey. Hey, hey.
254
00:14:19,185 --> 00:14:22,344
Listen, I know you're still pissed
at me and everything,
255
00:14:22,345 --> 00:14:25,344
but you will not believe
what just happened.
256
00:14:25,345 --> 00:14:28,104
I'm not still pissed. No? No.
257
00:14:28,105 --> 00:14:31,104
Cos that implies there'll come
a time when I'm not pissed.
258
00:14:31,105 --> 00:14:32,824
I will ALWAYS be pissed.
259
00:14:32,825 --> 00:14:36,944
With you, I am in a constant state
of pissed.
260
00:14:36,945 --> 00:14:39,384
Yeah, yeah, OK, but... No. No but.
261
00:14:39,385 --> 00:14:42,144
But... No! No but.
262
00:14:42,145 --> 00:14:43,784
Whatever you've got to say,
263
00:14:43,785 --> 00:14:45,505
I don't want to hear it.
264
00:14:46,785 --> 00:14:49,104
I'm not your friend.
265
00:14:49,105 --> 00:14:51,384
You want to talk about the show,
fine.
266
00:14:51,385 --> 00:14:54,545
But anything beyond work...
Anything...
267
00:14:56,145 --> 00:14:58,744
Well, this is kind of work-related.
268
00:14:58,745 --> 00:15:00,105
Is it?
269
00:15:02,545 --> 00:15:05,825
I was watching the show
when it happened?
270
00:15:10,825 --> 00:15:12,065
Ahh!
271
00:15:27,425 --> 00:15:30,144
We totally did it.
Unbelievable. Unbelievable.
272
00:15:30,145 --> 00:15:32,384
It's, like,
beyond what I ever...
273
00:15:32,385 --> 00:15:34,824
Hey, there she is! Woo-hoo!
274
00:15:34,825 --> 00:15:37,784
Are you all right? I'm fine. That'll
teach me to walk into a room!
275
00:15:37,785 --> 00:15:40,744
Sorry, everyone's just very excited
about the ratings.
276
00:15:40,745 --> 00:15:42,744
Really? We did well?
277
00:15:42,745 --> 00:15:44,904
We got a 5.6 with a 13 share
278
00:15:44,905 --> 00:15:47,704
and a 3.8 in the 18-33 demo.
279
00:15:47,705 --> 00:15:49,184
Wow!
280
00:15:49,185 --> 00:15:51,744
I have no idea what this boy
just said. They're good.
281
00:15:51,745 --> 00:15:53,784
Are you serious? Really good.
282
00:15:53,785 --> 00:15:56,984
Yeah. Take that,
Myron Blum of the Boston Herald,
283
00:15:56,985 --> 00:15:58,984
with your, "I don't know
who this show is for."
284
00:15:58,985 --> 00:16:01,984
It's for everyone but you, cockface!
285
00:16:01,985 --> 00:16:05,144
I thought you said
you didn't read them.
286
00:16:05,145 --> 00:16:07,585
So, congratulations, everyone.
Yeah, nicely done.
287
00:16:07,586 --> 00:16:09,944
Hey.
288
00:16:09,945 --> 00:16:12,304
How about that? Mm-hm.
289
00:16:12,305 --> 00:16:15,264
Does this mean
they'll let us go home early?
290
00:16:15,265 --> 00:16:18,184
Who's "they"? We're "they".
291
00:16:18,185 --> 00:16:19,624
So...?
292
00:16:19,625 --> 00:16:21,744
No.
293
00:16:21,745 --> 00:16:24,984
OK, people, back to work.
Thank you.
294
00:16:24,985 --> 00:16:27,264
Right. I'll see you later. Jesus!
295
00:16:27,265 --> 00:16:29,504
Number one new show of the night.
296
00:16:29,505 --> 00:16:31,865
This is going to kill Schwimmer.
297
00:16:36,145 --> 00:16:38,344
5.6 with a 13 share!
298
00:16:38,345 --> 00:16:40,265
And a 3.8 in the demo!
Say it again!
299
00:16:40,266 --> 00:16:43,184
3.8. Oooh!
300
00:16:43,185 --> 00:16:45,544
98% retention.
301
00:16:45,545 --> 00:16:47,065
Oh! Yes!
302
00:16:48,505 --> 00:16:50,105
Hi. Is he in?
303
00:17:08,385 --> 00:17:10,024
I know. I mean...
304
00:17:10,025 --> 00:17:12,904
It's insane. You realise
more people saw our show last night
305
00:17:12,905 --> 00:17:16,144
than probably every episode
of Lyman's Boys put together?
306
00:17:16,145 --> 00:17:17,464
Seriously? Yeah.
307
00:17:17,465 --> 00:17:20,945
You've got to say this about
Americans - there's a lot of them.
308
00:17:25,145 --> 00:17:26,984
What are you doing?
309
00:17:26,985 --> 00:17:30,105
I marked one two days ago. I just
want to see how long it sits here.
310
00:17:32,345 --> 00:17:34,424
So, disappointed?
311
00:17:34,425 --> 00:17:39,744
At what? I can't imagine a big hit
was what you were wishing for.
312
00:17:39,745 --> 00:17:41,304
It's not true.
313
00:17:41,305 --> 00:17:42,745
Right! It's not.
314
00:17:44,345 --> 00:17:46,424
It's still here!
315
00:17:46,425 --> 00:17:48,905
You're telling me
there wasn't a part of you hoping
316
00:17:48,906 --> 00:17:52,385
this whole thing would bomb and we
could go home? How wrong you are.
317
00:17:55,025 --> 00:17:57,544
Look, you have made it very clear
that when we get home
318
00:17:57,545 --> 00:17:59,264
we're finished, we're nothing.
319
00:17:59,265 --> 00:18:01,384
Right now, at least we have this.
320
00:18:01,385 --> 00:18:03,385
Why would I wish
for that to go away?
321
00:18:08,985 --> 00:18:11,425
Rehearsal's up!
322
00:18:28,865 --> 00:18:31,984
Hey. Can I ask you something?
Er, could you give us a sec?
323
00:18:31,985 --> 00:18:33,624
What's up?
324
00:18:33,625 --> 00:18:36,144
In this scene, I know the guys
are lying to me, right? Right.
325
00:18:36,145 --> 00:18:39,584
But you don't want to give too much
away so you can surprise them later.
326
00:18:39,585 --> 00:18:42,944
That's what I thought.
Oh, and um, also,
327
00:18:42,945 --> 00:18:46,305
Jamie Lapidus gave me a hand-job
during the show last night.
328
00:18:47,825 --> 00:18:49,624
I had to tell you.
329
00:18:49,625 --> 00:18:53,224
Oh, yeah, who better to share
the news with you had sex
with someone else's wife?!
330
00:18:53,225 --> 00:18:54,985
Well, first of all, just a hand-job.
331
00:18:54,986 --> 00:18:56,744
With her husband three seats away!
332
00:18:56,745 --> 00:18:59,544
I know!
My God, you're proud of this?! No.
333
00:18:59,545 --> 00:19:01,864
But I gotta say, getting jerked-off
334
00:19:01,865 --> 00:19:03,743
while you're watching yourself on TV?
335
00:19:03,744 --> 00:19:05,625
Actors work their whole lives
for that.
336
00:19:15,185 --> 00:19:16,864
Who else knows about this? Nobody.
337
00:19:16,865 --> 00:19:19,624
Good. Keep it that way.
The last thing our little show needs
338
00:19:19,625 --> 00:19:22,664
is for Merc Lapidus to find out
that you are fucking his wife.
339
00:19:22,665 --> 00:19:26,544
Again, not fucking.
I'm not sure he'll appreciate
the bloody distinction!
340
00:19:26,545 --> 00:19:29,944
What's the matter with you?
That woman is married to your boss!
341
00:19:29,945 --> 00:19:32,265
And while we're on the subject,
what is it with you
342
00:19:32,266 --> 00:19:34,624
and other people's wives?!
It's pathological!
343
00:19:34,625 --> 00:19:38,104
Are there no other women
in the world who aren't the spouses
344
00:19:38,105 --> 00:19:39,744
of people you know?! It...
345
00:19:39,745 --> 00:19:41,105
What?
346
00:19:42,185 --> 00:19:43,665
I've missed this.
347
00:19:52,585 --> 00:19:54,904
Mm, this one better than this one.
348
00:19:54,905 --> 00:19:56,904
Hey.
349
00:19:56,905 --> 00:20:00,544
You know that cool Prada jacket
that you said my character
would never wear?
350
00:20:00,545 --> 00:20:01,664
Mm-hm.
351
00:20:01,665 --> 00:20:04,224
I figured out where it would work.
Where? My house.
352
00:20:04,225 --> 00:20:07,305
Annie, could you grab that for me?
OK.
353
00:20:08,505 --> 00:20:11,464
Well, good, because who's more
deserving of free clothes
354
00:20:11,465 --> 00:20:12,544
than you?
355
00:20:12,545 --> 00:20:14,425
You can take stuff. What do you want?
356
00:20:14,426 --> 00:20:18,424
Or I could go to a shop,
like a normal person.
357
00:20:18,425 --> 00:20:23,705
Yeah, someone who turns down
free shit - NOT a normal person.
358
00:20:27,945 --> 00:20:32,384
So, listen, this thing with Sean
being pissed off. Yeah?
359
00:20:32,385 --> 00:20:34,345
How long do you think
that's going to last?
360
00:20:34,346 --> 00:20:38,384
It's just weird not being able
to talk to him about stuff.
361
00:20:38,385 --> 00:20:41,944
Yes, this must be very hard
for you!
362
00:20:41,945 --> 00:20:43,224
It is.
363
00:20:43,225 --> 00:20:44,865
Ah, that's great, thanks.
364
00:20:45,905 --> 00:20:47,784
Er...
365
00:20:47,785 --> 00:20:49,784
There was a hat?
366
00:20:49,785 --> 00:20:51,025
Sure.
367
00:20:53,105 --> 00:20:56,024
Look, I'm not saying he doesn't
have a right to be mad, I get it,
368
00:20:56,025 --> 00:20:58,984
but at what point is it,
like, "All right, already"?
369
00:20:58,985 --> 00:21:01,584
"All right, already"?!
You know what I mean.
370
00:21:01,585 --> 00:21:05,184
He swears he'll never get over it,
but I just...
371
00:21:05,185 --> 00:21:08,624
I have to believe it's not true.
I just, I have to.
372
00:21:08,625 --> 00:21:10,264
Yeah. I hear you.
373
00:21:10,265 --> 00:21:11,904
I certainly can't blame him.
374
00:21:11,905 --> 00:21:14,744
When I look back at what I did,
it's like I'm looking at this
375
00:21:14,745 --> 00:21:17,544
whole other person doing these
inexplicable things
376
00:21:17,545 --> 00:21:19,864
with the absolutely last person
on God's Earth
377
00:21:19,865 --> 00:21:22,224
I'd ever want to do them with.
378
00:21:22,225 --> 00:21:23,664
You're welcome.
379
00:21:23,665 --> 00:21:25,584
And now here we are,
380
00:21:25,585 --> 00:21:30,665
and I may have lost the only thing
I ever actually cared about.
381
00:21:32,345 --> 00:21:36,184
Well, if there's anything I can do...
382
00:21:36,185 --> 00:21:38,785
You could stop wearing
that fucking cologne!
383
00:21:47,305 --> 00:21:48,904
How we doing on the hat?
384
00:21:48,905 --> 00:21:50,664
Hey, did you guys see this?
385
00:21:50,665 --> 00:21:54,024
Our ratings went up
in the nationals.
386
00:21:54,025 --> 00:21:57,024
Wow! Do you have any idea
what you're looking at?
387
00:21:57,025 --> 00:21:58,504
No.
388
00:21:58,505 --> 00:22:01,864
I can't believe I came THIS close
to not taking this show. Really?
389
00:22:01,865 --> 00:22:03,305
Yeah. I got two offers this year.
390
00:22:03,306 --> 00:22:08,064
This one, and they wanted me for
the kid in that talking dog show.
There's a talking dog show?
391
00:22:08,065 --> 00:22:11,064
Over at ABC. It starts next week.
Actually it's opposite us. Any good?
392
00:22:11,065 --> 00:22:12,784
Dude, it's a talking dog show.
393
00:22:12,785 --> 00:22:16,024
Yeah, dude! So, like,
I wasn't sure which one to pick.
394
00:22:16,025 --> 00:22:19,584
My wife was really pushing me
to take the other one. Er, your wife?
395
00:22:19,585 --> 00:22:21,984
Well, not officially, yet.
396
00:22:21,985 --> 00:22:25,024
Have to wait till my divorce
comes through.
397
00:22:25,025 --> 00:22:27,384
This would be your second marriage?
398
00:22:27,385 --> 00:22:29,624
Technically.
I don't even count the first one.
399
00:22:29,625 --> 00:22:31,505
It was just a big fucking mess.
400
00:22:33,145 --> 00:22:35,984
We got married really young.
I assume as embryos.
401
00:22:35,985 --> 00:22:37,144
I'm 27.
402
00:22:37,145 --> 00:22:40,624
You're not! Kevin's 29.
Stoke's going to be 31.
403
00:22:40,625 --> 00:22:43,424
Very strange high school we're
running! Hey, the kids on Glee
404
00:22:43,425 --> 00:22:46,144
are, like, in their fifties.
Excuse me.
405
00:22:46,145 --> 00:22:48,625
Are we close to shooting?
Yeah, but they need you guys
406
00:22:48,626 --> 00:22:50,585
over in the locker room set.
407
00:22:52,505 --> 00:22:55,184
Oh, I've got to walk.
408
00:22:55,185 --> 00:22:56,905
It's awful!
409
00:22:58,185 --> 00:23:00,304
♪ Happy birthday to you
410
00:23:00,305 --> 00:23:03,384
♪ Happy birthday to you
411
00:23:03,385 --> 00:23:05,424
♪ Happy birthday, dear Sean
412
00:23:05,425 --> 00:23:07,225
♪ Happy birthday to you. ♪
413
00:23:10,065 --> 00:23:12,024
Did you do this?
414
00:23:12,025 --> 00:23:13,785
Actually, no. It's from Matt.
415
00:23:17,025 --> 00:23:18,225
OK.
416
00:23:27,505 --> 00:23:29,464
Congrats. Thank you.
417
00:23:29,465 --> 00:23:31,784
Happy birthday. Oh wow!
418
00:23:31,785 --> 00:23:34,305
Ah. Congratulations.
419
00:23:38,225 --> 00:23:40,744
Hey! Hey, birthday boy.
All right, man.
420
00:23:40,745 --> 00:23:43,505
Nice one. Right, come on. Dig in.
421
00:23:46,105 --> 00:23:47,745
Ho-ho!
422
00:23:48,945 --> 00:23:51,584
'Sean and Beverly's office.'
423
00:23:51,585 --> 00:23:54,065
Carol Rance on two!
424
00:23:55,225 --> 00:23:56,865
Thank you.
425
00:23:58,305 --> 00:24:01,184
Hi, Carol. 'Hold for Carol, please.'
426
00:24:01,185 --> 00:24:03,105
Wendy, could you come here, please?
427
00:24:04,665 --> 00:24:05,904
Yeah.
428
00:24:05,905 --> 00:24:09,344
Would it be possible, when the
person's not actually on the line,
429
00:24:09,345 --> 00:24:11,904
you could alert me to that fact
so that I don't...
430
00:24:11,905 --> 00:24:13,585
'Hi, you!' There she is.
431
00:24:14,905 --> 00:24:16,584
Hi, Carol. What's up?
432
00:24:16,585 --> 00:24:18,664
'I'm taking you out
for Sean's birthday.'
433
00:24:18,665 --> 00:24:24,185
You should not be alone.
Aw, that's sweet. Merc cancel again?
434
00:24:26,385 --> 00:24:29,344
He forgot he had a thing
at his kid's school.
435
00:24:29,345 --> 00:24:32,384
'Sometimes I wonder why
I even shave my legs.
436
00:24:32,385 --> 00:24:34,184
'So, how did Sean like the watch?'
437
00:24:34,185 --> 00:24:36,984
I didn't want to put him on the spot
when I gave it to him,
438
00:24:36,985 --> 00:24:40,185
so I had a PA put it in his car.
439
00:24:41,785 --> 00:24:43,585
Yeah, so what?!
440
00:24:59,345 --> 00:25:00,664
Hey!
441
00:25:00,665 --> 00:25:02,824
Hey, look at you. Very impressive.
442
00:25:02,825 --> 00:25:05,824
Please. I had two pieces
of your fucking birthday cake!
443
00:25:05,825 --> 00:25:07,624
I need to run to, like, Cleveland.
444
00:25:07,625 --> 00:25:11,064
Say what you want about bulimia...
Please, don't finish that sentence.
445
00:25:11,065 --> 00:25:13,944
I promise, once we're sure
we're not getting cancelled,
446
00:25:13,945 --> 00:25:15,784
I'll start packing on the pounds.
447
00:25:15,785 --> 00:25:20,544
Till then... We're doing a little
better than not getting cancelled.
You saw those numbers today.
448
00:25:20,545 --> 00:25:22,024
No, I know. Still.
449
00:25:22,025 --> 00:25:23,984
What? The ratings were...
450
00:25:23,985 --> 00:25:26,544
No, they were great,
but that's just people sampling it.
451
00:25:26,545 --> 00:25:28,544
Let's wait till next week and see.
452
00:25:28,545 --> 00:25:30,345
Well, you're a big ball
of positivity.
453
00:25:30,346 --> 00:25:33,504
Hey, I once did this Fox show about
these three girls living together.
454
00:25:33,505 --> 00:25:35,145
I was the one with the smaller tits.
455
00:25:35,146 --> 00:25:38,064
Interesting concept. Yeah.
456
00:25:38,065 --> 00:25:41,224
We had the highest number of any
new series premiering that season.
457
00:25:41,225 --> 00:25:44,544
Week two, not so much.
Week three, ooh.
458
00:25:44,545 --> 00:25:46,824
They kept dropping and dropping.
459
00:25:46,825 --> 00:25:48,744
They pulled the plug after six.
460
00:25:48,745 --> 00:25:52,064
Wow! Now I won't even decorate
my dressing room
461
00:25:52,065 --> 00:25:56,864
until we're picked up for the back
nine. Just because you start out
strong doesn't mean that...
462
00:25:56,865 --> 00:25:58,824
What? What are you doing?
463
00:25:58,825 --> 00:26:01,825
I'm just saying. It's my birthday.
464
00:26:02,905 --> 00:26:05,864
Oh, shit! I am an asshole!
It's all good.
465
00:26:05,865 --> 00:26:09,864
The ratings will NEVER come down!
I thought you were a better actress
than that.
466
00:26:09,865 --> 00:26:12,585
Obviously you haven't
read my reviews for this show.
467
00:26:13,785 --> 00:26:17,064
So what are you doing
for the birthday?
Oh, birthdays are no big deal.
468
00:26:17,065 --> 00:26:20,544
So nothing? I'm fine, I've got
some scripts to look over and...
469
00:26:20,545 --> 00:26:23,024
Fuck that! We're going to celebrate.
470
00:26:23,025 --> 00:26:25,785
Well, I appreciate it,
but I really...
471
00:26:29,865 --> 00:26:31,224
And that was...?
472
00:26:31,225 --> 00:26:32,905
Birthday present?
473
00:26:33,945 --> 00:26:36,784
Well, as gifts go,
it was very thoughtful.
474
00:26:36,785 --> 00:26:38,945
It also comes in large.
475
00:26:49,185 --> 00:26:53,424
I don't know why I feel obliged
to ask this, but your boyfriend...?
476
00:26:53,425 --> 00:26:57,184
What boyfriend?
You told me you had a boyfriend.
477
00:26:57,185 --> 00:27:00,345
Oh. Maybe I am a good actress.
478
00:27:20,153 --> 00:27:46,334
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478
00:27:47,305 --> 00:27:53,409
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