1
00:00:03,144 --> 00:00:05,063
My brother thought you were great.
2
00:00:05,064 --> 00:00:08,263
I think your brother
is very nice,
3
00:00:08,264 --> 00:00:12,663
but I'm not doing anything till I'm
certain what's happening with erm...
4
00:00:12,664 --> 00:00:14,343
me and Sean.
5
00:00:14,344 --> 00:00:17,263
I love you, you know that,
6
00:00:17,264 --> 00:00:18,984
but I can't...
7
00:00:21,864 --> 00:00:23,743
I can't do this any more.
8
00:00:23,744 --> 00:00:28,103
Contains strong language.
9
00:00:28,104 --> 00:00:29,743
Hi. Jesus! Fuck!
10
00:00:29,744 --> 00:00:33,023
I was hoping you wouldn't come home
yet. The cookies aren't ready.
11
00:00:33,024 --> 00:00:37,023
Get the fuck out of my house,
you crazy Looney Tunes freak!
12
00:00:37,024 --> 00:00:38,464
Oh! My cookies.
13
00:00:40,542 --> 00:01:26,228
Subtitles by MemoryOnSmells
http://UKsubtitles.ru
14
00:01:26,317 --> 00:01:28,636
So, we just wanted to check in.
15
00:01:28,637 --> 00:01:31,476
Get your take on how you think
the show is going.
16
00:01:31,477 --> 00:01:33,756
Oh, phew. We were afraid
you were cancelling us.
17
00:01:33,757 --> 00:01:35,876
God! No!
18
00:01:35,877 --> 00:01:38,477
We'd never cancel you in person.
19
00:01:39,717 --> 00:01:41,716
That's good to know.
20
00:01:41,717 --> 00:01:43,316
So, how do you think it's going?
21
00:01:43,317 --> 00:01:47,716
Oh, come on. You don't really care
what we think.
22
00:01:47,717 --> 00:01:50,157
You're just asking
so we can get to what you think.
23
00:01:50,158 --> 00:01:52,637
She's feisty today. Today?!
24
00:01:54,077 --> 00:01:56,356
So, how do you think it's going?
25
00:01:56,357 --> 00:01:59,396
Well, terrific. I think
it's going terrific.
26
00:01:59,397 --> 00:02:02,516
The scripts are strong,
the boys are scoring great.
27
00:02:02,517 --> 00:02:05,597
So why do I feel like
there's a big "but" coming?
28
00:02:07,717 --> 00:02:10,196
A bit "butt"?! Actually...
29
00:02:10,197 --> 00:02:12,156
Sorry?
30
00:02:12,157 --> 00:02:18,436
It's just... we're feeling like
maybe Matt isn't quite as...
31
00:02:18,437 --> 00:02:21,476
slender as he used to be.
32
00:02:21,477 --> 00:02:23,876
Slender? He's a chunk!
Stop!
33
00:02:23,877 --> 00:02:26,876
It just seems like
in the last few episodes,
34
00:02:26,877 --> 00:02:28,917
he's maybe looking a little...
35
00:02:30,157 --> 00:02:32,436
I'm going to stick with "chunk".
36
00:02:32,437 --> 00:02:34,596
You know what we're saying.
37
00:02:34,597 --> 00:02:37,356
Uh, he may have put on
a pound or two.
38
00:02:37,357 --> 00:02:39,156
Has he?
39
00:02:39,157 --> 00:02:41,556
Sean doesn't notice these things.
I don't.
40
00:02:41,557 --> 00:02:43,796
It may just be this is Matt's way
41
00:02:43,797 --> 00:02:45,956
of dealing with his part
getting cut down.
42
00:02:45,957 --> 00:02:48,756
Given that he's in the show less,
does it even really matter?
43
00:02:48,757 --> 00:02:51,637
Well, clearly yeah, because it's
giving him more time to eat.
44
00:02:52,957 --> 00:02:55,356
So, who cares? We did this show
in the UK
45
00:02:55,357 --> 00:02:57,476
with a much, much bigger man.
46
00:02:57,477 --> 00:02:58,836
It certainly works.
47
00:02:58,837 --> 00:03:01,996
Look, I have no problem with fat.
Fat people are funny.
48
00:03:01,997 --> 00:03:03,996
John Candy. Chris Farley.
49
00:03:03,997 --> 00:03:06,436
That fat guy in Laurel and Hardy.
Yeah.
50
00:03:06,437 --> 00:03:10,756
It's just that all those people
started off fat.
51
00:03:10,757 --> 00:03:12,956
You can't start out sexy
and then get fat.
52
00:03:12,957 --> 00:03:15,276
Not on TV!
53
00:03:15,277 --> 00:03:17,276
With your ratings
being where they are...
54
00:03:17,277 --> 00:03:19,796
It's the last thing we need.
55
00:03:19,797 --> 00:03:21,756
Yeah, we need Hot Matt.
56
00:03:21,757 --> 00:03:23,357
Not Fat Matt.
57
00:03:31,277 --> 00:03:34,156
Mm, smells amazing!
58
00:03:34,157 --> 00:03:36,556
Who knew you could do this?
59
00:03:36,557 --> 00:03:39,236
Oh, I've been cooking
since I was like five.
60
00:03:39,237 --> 00:03:42,436
My mom worked, so I was kind of
the chef of the house.
61
00:03:42,437 --> 00:03:44,996
You really are a man
of many talents.
62
00:03:44,997 --> 00:03:48,397
All right, open your mouth. Oh, we're
going to play that game, are we?
63
00:03:49,637 --> 00:03:51,437
Come on, open.
64
00:03:55,117 --> 00:03:57,276
Oh my God!
65
00:03:57,277 --> 00:03:58,996
Oh my God!
66
00:03:58,997 --> 00:04:01,036
This is like Italy-good.
67
00:04:01,037 --> 00:04:04,476
And that would be?
68
00:04:04,477 --> 00:04:07,636
My focaccia. Oh, come on!
It's easy.
69
00:04:07,637 --> 00:04:10,876
Unbelievable.
How could your wife leave you?
70
00:04:10,877 --> 00:04:12,356
I cheated on her.
71
00:04:12,357 --> 00:04:13,556
Ah.
72
00:04:13,557 --> 00:04:17,676
Speaking of...
73
00:04:17,677 --> 00:04:18,956
Hey.
74
00:04:18,957 --> 00:04:23,036
Hey. Guess who dropped by the boys'
school this afternoon?
75
00:04:23,037 --> 00:04:25,196
Er, can we do this later?
76
00:04:25,197 --> 00:04:26,477
No. Come on, guess!
77
00:04:26,478 --> 00:04:28,316
I give up. Who?
78
00:04:28,317 --> 00:04:30,756
How about your fucking stalker?!
79
00:04:30,757 --> 00:04:32,196
Oh shit!
80
00:04:32,197 --> 00:04:33,516
A-ha, that's right.
81
00:04:33,517 --> 00:04:36,196
Your little nut bundle showed up
at the boys' school
82
00:04:36,197 --> 00:04:38,236
cos she thought you were
picking them up today.
83
00:04:38,237 --> 00:04:40,396
She's really got to get
her schedule straight.
84
00:04:40,397 --> 00:04:41,596
Go, you idiot!
85
00:04:41,597 --> 00:04:43,556
So what happened?
86
00:04:43,557 --> 00:04:45,357
I called the police
is what happened.
87
00:04:45,358 --> 00:04:47,116
You better do something about her.
88
00:04:47,117 --> 00:04:49,676
Well, what do you want me to do?
I got a restraining order.
89
00:04:49,677 --> 00:04:51,756
So restrain her!
90
00:04:51,757 --> 00:04:54,316
Cos if that fucking lunatic
comes near my kids again,
91
00:04:54,317 --> 00:04:55,437
I swear to God...
92
00:04:55,438 --> 00:04:58,396
All right, OK.
I'll call my security guy.
93
00:04:58,397 --> 00:05:00,716
Yeah, cos he's doing
such a good job so far!
94
00:05:00,717 --> 00:05:02,757
It's green, asshole!
95
00:05:04,000 --> 00:05:10,074
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96
00:05:15,837 --> 00:05:17,116
Hey there.
97
00:05:17,117 --> 00:05:18,476
Well, look who's back.
98
00:05:18,477 --> 00:05:21,076
Just driving ET to work.
99
00:05:21,077 --> 00:05:22,196
Shut up!
100
00:05:22,197 --> 00:05:23,876
Morning.
101
00:05:23,877 --> 00:05:27,796
She's afraid some paparazzi will get
a picture of her with her, uh...
102
00:05:27,797 --> 00:05:29,796
So she lies down in the back.
103
00:05:29,797 --> 00:05:31,597
I like to pretend
I'm kidnapping her.
104
00:05:31,598 --> 00:05:33,356
You ARE a good brother.
105
00:05:33,357 --> 00:05:36,836
It's on my way to work,
so it's not that big a deal.
And where is work?
106
00:05:36,837 --> 00:05:38,596
Oh, right now, Beverly Hills.
107
00:05:38,597 --> 00:05:39,836
Oh?
108
00:05:39,837 --> 00:05:40,957
I paint houses.
109
00:05:40,958 --> 00:05:43,756
Really? Yeah, really.
110
00:05:43,757 --> 00:05:45,276
Someone not in show business...
111
00:05:45,277 --> 00:05:47,197
I don't think my brain
can process that.
112
00:05:47,198 --> 00:05:49,276
Yeah. There's not a lot of us.
113
00:05:49,277 --> 00:05:52,876
It's basically me, two gardeners
and a plumber.
114
00:05:52,877 --> 00:05:55,596
Although the plumber's working
on a screenplay, so...
115
00:05:55,597 --> 00:05:57,236
Oh, there you are.
116
00:05:57,237 --> 00:05:59,796
Oh, Sean, this is Morning's brother,
Rob.
117
00:05:59,797 --> 00:06:02,236
Oh, hello. I didn't know
Morning had a brother.
118
00:06:02,237 --> 00:06:04,676
Oh, she kind of keeps me under
wraps.
119
00:06:04,677 --> 00:06:07,396
You know, since I'm aging
in human years.
120
00:06:07,397 --> 00:06:10,836
Right. I like your truck.
Aw, thanks.
121
00:06:10,837 --> 00:06:13,916
I drove a truck one summer.
Loved it.
122
00:06:13,917 --> 00:06:15,757
You mean that ice cream truck?
123
00:06:16,997 --> 00:06:19,237
Still a truck. With popsicles.
124
00:06:20,477 --> 00:06:23,556
Still a truck. Yeah.
125
00:06:23,557 --> 00:06:26,396
Matt's in his dressing room.
We should get this over with.
126
00:06:26,397 --> 00:06:28,476
Oh, God!
127
00:06:28,477 --> 00:06:31,516
I wouldn't want to keep you
from whatever "Oh, God" is.
128
00:06:31,517 --> 00:06:33,116
You do not want to know.
129
00:06:33,117 --> 00:06:34,716
There's always painting houses.
130
00:06:34,717 --> 00:06:35,957
Sounding better by the minute.
131
00:06:35,958 --> 00:06:37,596
Have fun.
132
00:06:37,597 --> 00:06:38,957
Ha-ha!
133
00:06:41,197 --> 00:06:43,876
He seems nice. Uh-huh.
134
00:06:43,877 --> 00:06:46,077
I like his truck.
135
00:06:47,517 --> 00:06:51,756
Please understand what we're about
to tell you is not coming from us.
136
00:06:51,757 --> 00:06:52,876
Especially me.
137
00:06:52,877 --> 00:06:55,196
From either of us. Yeah.
138
00:06:55,197 --> 00:06:56,716
OK.
139
00:06:56,717 --> 00:06:59,636
This is the network talking.
We are merely the messengers here.
140
00:06:59,637 --> 00:07:01,637
Yeah, don't shoot the messengers.
141
00:07:04,157 --> 00:07:06,757
All right, you guys
are freaking me out. What?
142
00:07:13,717 --> 00:07:16,236
The network feels...
143
00:07:16,237 --> 00:07:20,036
They feel that you
144
00:07:20,037 --> 00:07:23,197
may have put on
a little bit of weight.
145
00:07:30,037 --> 00:07:32,316
Are you fucking kidding me?!
146
00:07:32,317 --> 00:07:33,757
We are fucking not.
147
00:07:37,517 --> 00:07:40,196
Wow!
148
00:07:40,197 --> 00:07:45,036
OK, first of all, I haven't gained
one pound since I started this show.
149
00:07:45,037 --> 00:07:47,436
Thank you.
They're all going on about,
150
00:07:47,437 --> 00:07:49,397
"He's gained so much weight",
and I'm like,
151
00:07:49,398 --> 00:07:51,276
"I'm sorry, I just don't see it".
152
00:07:51,277 --> 00:07:53,517
He says everyone's going on about
this. Does that include you?
153
00:07:55,797 --> 00:07:58,796
I was not the one who said "chunk".
154
00:07:58,797 --> 00:08:01,716
I may have said you gained a little.
155
00:08:01,717 --> 00:08:04,196
Which I haven't. Obviously.
156
00:08:04,197 --> 00:08:05,556
I stand corrected.
157
00:08:05,557 --> 00:08:07,636
But you think I look like I have?
158
00:08:07,637 --> 00:08:09,956
I think you're an enormously
attractive man...
159
00:08:09,957 --> 00:08:12,556
See, and I'm just hearing the word
"enormous".
160
00:08:12,557 --> 00:08:15,396
I'm not the one who sees the problem
here. I think you look great.
161
00:08:15,397 --> 00:08:18,757
Hello, who's the only one in this
room who's slept with you?
162
00:08:21,837 --> 00:08:24,916
Right. Like we all
weren't thinking it!
163
00:08:24,917 --> 00:08:27,275
I wasn't. Who would think that?
Why would I even...?
164
00:08:27,276 --> 00:08:28,917
What's that got to do with anything?
165
00:08:31,157 --> 00:08:32,476
Oh.
166
00:08:32,477 --> 00:08:35,076
Well then, so who called me
a "chunk"? It wasn't me.
167
00:08:35,077 --> 00:08:36,916
Yes! We all know it wasn't you!
168
00:08:36,917 --> 00:08:38,716
Was it that prick Merc?
169
00:08:38,717 --> 00:08:39,837
It was that prick Merc.
170
00:08:42,517 --> 00:08:45,117
If anything, I'd say
you'd lost weight.
171
00:08:52,597 --> 00:08:55,317
I didn't know you smoke.
Not since the '70s.
172
00:08:56,917 --> 00:09:00,236
But since I went Smurf-face, it's
like, "Who gives a shit?" Whatever.
173
00:09:00,237 --> 00:09:02,036
How about you?
174
00:09:02,037 --> 00:09:03,676
No, I gave up.
175
00:09:03,677 --> 00:09:05,077
Good for you. Can I have one? Sure.
176
00:09:09,517 --> 00:09:11,996
So my brother asked about you again.
177
00:09:11,997 --> 00:09:14,836
He called you "fetching".
178
00:09:14,837 --> 00:09:16,316
Like a dog with a stick?
179
00:09:16,317 --> 00:09:19,917
Like he really likes you. Hmm.
180
00:09:21,437 --> 00:09:23,476
That's very nice.
181
00:09:23,477 --> 00:09:26,997
Come on. He's a great guy.
Let him take you to dinner.
182
00:09:32,157 --> 00:09:34,076
Well, it does appear to be my day
183
00:09:34,077 --> 00:09:36,756
for doing things I said
I wouldn't do.
184
00:09:36,757 --> 00:09:38,997
Yay, that's great!
I'll have him call you.
185
00:09:44,637 --> 00:09:48,356
This is nice - we should
hang out more.
186
00:09:48,357 --> 00:09:50,476
Hmm, you fellated my husband.
187
00:09:50,477 --> 00:09:52,396
I what?
188
00:09:52,397 --> 00:09:55,637
Oh. Yeah. OK.
189
00:09:59,997 --> 00:10:01,876
'It's such bullshit!'
190
00:10:01,877 --> 00:10:04,596
Believe me, I am with you 100%.
Yeah, I get that.
191
00:10:04,597 --> 00:10:08,917
I'm embarrassed for them, frankly.
I mean, who are they to judge you?
192
00:10:12,077 --> 00:10:13,596
What?
193
00:10:13,597 --> 00:10:14,637
Nothing.
194
00:10:17,517 --> 00:10:20,036
Eat it. Have it. It looks nice.
195
00:10:20,037 --> 00:10:21,996
Why wouldn't you...?
196
00:10:21,997 --> 00:10:23,756
It's a doughnut.
197
00:10:23,757 --> 00:10:25,956
Just a doughnut, have two.
198
00:10:25,957 --> 00:10:28,716
It's a doughnut. Have it.
199
00:10:28,717 --> 00:10:30,757
What? You deserve it. You...
200
00:10:38,837 --> 00:10:40,317
Fat fuck!
201
00:10:44,797 --> 00:10:46,996
Is that jam in your ear?
202
00:10:46,997 --> 00:10:50,677
Oh, it might be. Might very well be.
Picture up!
203
00:10:55,237 --> 00:10:59,356
Am I crazy, or are we seeing the
shadow of his,
204
00:10:59,357 --> 00:11:01,036
erm...
205
00:11:01,037 --> 00:11:02,997
What?
206
00:11:03,957 --> 00:11:06,037
His, erm, crotchal area.
207
00:11:09,197 --> 00:11:12,636
I don't think that's what...
Oh yes, it is.
208
00:11:12,637 --> 00:11:14,236
Are you guys seeing it too?
209
00:11:14,237 --> 00:11:16,516
I didn't at first.
210
00:11:16,517 --> 00:11:18,636
Now I can't look away.
211
00:11:18,637 --> 00:11:21,316
It's like trying not to look
at an eclipse.
212
00:11:21,317 --> 00:11:23,476
Yeah, but that can't be his...
213
00:11:23,477 --> 00:11:25,797
Right? I mean it's just too...
214
00:11:27,237 --> 00:11:29,716
Erm...
215
00:11:29,717 --> 00:11:32,157
It's not beyond the realm
of possibility.
216
00:11:34,317 --> 00:11:36,636
OK, Matt.
217
00:11:36,637 --> 00:11:38,637
It would be all right if he just...
218
00:11:39,917 --> 00:11:42,356
moves it to the other side.
219
00:11:42,357 --> 00:11:44,076
Who's going to tell him that?!
220
00:11:44,077 --> 00:11:46,197
Don't look at me - he'll probably
throw it at me.
221
00:11:48,077 --> 00:11:51,036
Look, no, no, no, no.
222
00:11:51,037 --> 00:11:53,477
I have had too many hideous tasks
for one day.
223
00:11:57,077 --> 00:12:01,757
You're the director. Direct... it.
224
00:12:03,917 --> 00:12:05,277
Here goes.
225
00:12:12,477 --> 00:12:15,396
Hey... Sure.
226
00:12:15,397 --> 00:12:16,597
What's up?
227
00:12:18,637 --> 00:12:20,477
I was just noticing on the monitor,
228
00:12:20,478 --> 00:12:23,317
erm, your pants...
229
00:13:21,997 --> 00:13:23,557
Where are you?
230
00:13:24,797 --> 00:13:26,636
I'm here.
231
00:13:26,637 --> 00:13:29,596
Hmm. Not really.
232
00:13:29,597 --> 00:13:31,996
What's wrong?
233
00:13:31,997 --> 00:13:33,796
Nothing.
234
00:13:33,797 --> 00:13:37,796
For a good actor,
you're a terrible liar.
235
00:13:37,797 --> 00:13:39,517
You think I'm a good actor?
SHE LAUGHS
236
00:13:39,518 --> 00:13:42,636
Did you even hear the rest
of that sentence?
237
00:13:42,637 --> 00:13:46,877
Yeah. "For a good actor"...
something.
238
00:13:51,957 --> 00:13:53,397
Come on.
239
00:13:55,597 --> 00:13:56,637
It's your fucking husband.
240
00:13:56,638 --> 00:13:59,357
What?
241
00:14:00,597 --> 00:14:01,837
He, he thinks I'm fat!
242
00:14:01,838 --> 00:14:03,796
You're kidding.
243
00:14:03,797 --> 00:14:06,716
No. He said I'm a "chunk".
244
00:14:06,717 --> 00:14:12,156
That's insane! Talk about a really
big pot calling the kettle...
245
00:14:12,157 --> 00:14:14,436
Whoa, whoa, whoa. I'm a kettle?
246
00:14:14,437 --> 00:14:17,716
No! You are so not a kettle.
247
00:14:17,717 --> 00:14:22,636
Don't do that. You look amazing.
248
00:14:22,637 --> 00:14:26,956
Erm, I don't know how to tell you
this, but...
249
00:14:26,957 --> 00:14:31,196
Yeah, yeah, yeah. I have hands.
I can feel.
250
00:14:31,197 --> 00:14:33,837
You feel like you look - amazing.
251
00:14:35,837 --> 00:14:38,516
Yeah? Hmm.
252
00:14:38,517 --> 00:14:43,316
Do - not - listen to him.
253
00:14:43,317 --> 00:14:46,317
You're perfect,
just the way you are.
254
00:14:47,357 --> 00:14:49,717
Mm-wah!
255
00:14:51,877 --> 00:14:53,276
Wow!
256
00:14:53,277 --> 00:14:54,517
What?
257
00:14:56,197 --> 00:14:57,756
Because I kissed your belly?
258
00:14:57,757 --> 00:15:00,757
Oh, so it's a belly?!
Oh, my God!
259
00:15:01,917 --> 00:15:04,516
You know who has a belly?
260
00:15:04,517 --> 00:15:06,236
Santa has a belly!
261
00:15:06,237 --> 00:15:08,156
Stop it. You are not fat.
262
00:15:08,157 --> 00:15:11,636
I'm sure that's what Mrs Claus says!
Don't do this. What?
263
00:15:11,637 --> 00:15:14,156
If I wanted to fight, I could have
stayed with my husband.
264
00:15:14,157 --> 00:15:15,956
Who's fighting?
265
00:15:15,957 --> 00:15:19,117
Fine. But if you want me to go,
my driver's right outside.
266
00:15:21,837 --> 00:15:23,516
No.
267
00:15:23,517 --> 00:15:27,717
No. Let's just talk
about something else.
268
00:15:29,077 --> 00:15:30,917
We don't have to talk.
269
00:15:35,837 --> 00:15:37,477
Mm.
270
00:15:41,917 --> 00:15:45,796
They had a whole fucking meeting
about it at the network.
271
00:15:45,797 --> 00:15:48,196
They have fucking meetings
about everything.
272
00:15:48,197 --> 00:15:51,436
They have fucking meetings
about fucking meetings!
273
00:15:51,437 --> 00:15:55,356
You have got to stop this.
You're gorgeous, end of story.
274
00:15:55,357 --> 00:15:59,276
OK, I got to go back to you're
really not the best person to judge.
275
00:15:59,277 --> 00:16:03,036
All right, let's say
you are a "chunk"...
276
00:16:03,037 --> 00:16:06,556
Let's say you're a big fat "chunk".
So what?
277
00:16:06,557 --> 00:16:08,356
So what?!
278
00:16:08,357 --> 00:16:11,036
Do you think if I could see,
I wouldn't still be here?
279
00:16:11,037 --> 00:16:13,836
No, you're right -
you married the pot.
280
00:16:13,837 --> 00:16:15,836
And you weren't even blind yet.
281
00:16:15,837 --> 00:16:17,757
You know what -
I don't like you like this.
282
00:16:17,758 --> 00:16:21,236
Like what? Fat?! Call me
when you're ready to be a person.
283
00:16:21,237 --> 00:16:23,236
Will do.
284
00:16:23,237 --> 00:16:26,836
Soon as I can get my fat fingers
to push the buttons on the phone!
285
00:16:26,837 --> 00:16:28,237
Ho-ho-ho!
286
00:16:34,517 --> 00:16:36,276
Hello?
287
00:16:36,277 --> 00:16:38,236
Why did I agree to do this?
288
00:16:38,237 --> 00:16:39,916
Hi, honey.
289
00:16:39,917 --> 00:16:41,197
A date. A date?!
290
00:16:41,198 --> 00:16:43,476
I haven't been on a date
in ten years,
291
00:16:43,477 --> 00:16:44,837
and even then I was shit at it.
292
00:16:44,838 --> 00:16:46,276
You'll be fine.
293
00:16:46,277 --> 00:16:48,636
You wouldn't say that
if you'd ever dated me.
294
00:16:48,637 --> 00:16:51,876
I'm serious. I am awful at it.
295
00:16:51,877 --> 00:16:55,316
The minute it's a "date", I become
this whole other person.
296
00:16:55,317 --> 00:16:57,396
I feel judged. I judge myself.
297
00:16:57,397 --> 00:17:01,796
I sweat. A normal sentence becomes
a cluster-fuck of words.
298
00:17:01,797 --> 00:17:04,516
All right, relax. It's just a date.
299
00:17:04,517 --> 00:17:07,796
They're going to give you alcohol.
They're going to give you food.
300
00:17:07,797 --> 00:17:11,916
In two hours, you're done.
It's like a flight to Omaha.
301
00:17:11,917 --> 00:17:15,036
Only, when it's over,
you're not in Omaha.
302
00:17:15,037 --> 00:17:16,636
I wish I was in Omaha.
303
00:17:16,637 --> 00:17:18,436
Stop freaking yourself out, OK?
304
00:17:18,437 --> 00:17:22,156
It's not like you have
to sleep with him.
305
00:17:22,157 --> 00:17:24,156
I wasn't even thinking about that.
306
00:17:24,157 --> 00:17:27,797
Are you serious? Then why are you
putting yourself through this?
307
00:17:38,797 --> 00:17:40,996
So, you look really nice.
308
00:17:40,997 --> 00:17:43,676
Oh, I don't, but thank you.
309
00:17:43,677 --> 00:17:46,996
Yes, you do. And you're welcome.
310
00:17:46,997 --> 00:17:49,996
Oh, well, it's new.
311
00:17:49,997 --> 00:17:52,677
In the shop, it looked black.
Turns out it's swamp.
312
00:17:53,877 --> 00:17:56,877
Ooh! Olives.
313
00:17:59,837 --> 00:18:01,317
Oh, too spicy?
314
00:18:02,757 --> 00:18:04,277
Sorry, I should have warned you.
315
00:18:05,757 --> 00:18:07,837
No. They're delicious.
316
00:18:11,637 --> 00:18:13,556
You OK?
317
00:18:13,557 --> 00:18:18,676
I'm great. This is fun.
318
00:18:18,677 --> 00:18:21,837
So, house painting?
Bet you've got some stories.
319
00:18:29,997 --> 00:18:31,756
You CAN spit it out.
320
00:18:31,757 --> 00:18:32,916
Uh-uh.
321
00:18:32,917 --> 00:18:34,876
Why don't I move those?
322
00:18:34,877 --> 00:18:36,756
Mm-hm. Mm.
323
00:18:36,757 --> 00:18:39,357
Bev?
324
00:18:40,517 --> 00:18:42,956
Oh, Christ!
325
00:18:42,957 --> 00:18:44,996
How small is this world?
326
00:18:44,997 --> 00:18:46,956
Much too small!
327
00:18:46,957 --> 00:18:51,116
Andrew, Rob. Rob, Andrew. Hey.
328
00:18:51,117 --> 00:18:53,996
Andrew was our PA. Now he's a
big-time screen writer.
329
00:18:53,997 --> 00:18:55,197
Oh. And director.
330
00:18:55,198 --> 00:18:58,196
Yes. Right.
331
00:18:58,197 --> 00:18:59,396
Olive?
332
00:18:59,397 --> 00:19:02,676
Oh, that's very kind, but no,
I don't want to fill up.
333
00:19:02,677 --> 00:19:04,876
Big dinner here.
334
00:19:04,877 --> 00:19:07,237
So where's Sean?
335
00:19:12,397 --> 00:19:14,436
Erm, I don't know, actually.
336
00:19:14,437 --> 00:19:16,477
What?
337
00:19:19,237 --> 00:19:22,836
No! Oh no, oh God! You're kidding me!
338
00:19:22,837 --> 00:19:25,037
No! No way!
339
00:19:26,877 --> 00:19:28,277
Oh, I'm so sorry.
340
00:19:29,317 --> 00:19:30,916
It's all really fine.
341
00:19:30,917 --> 00:19:33,756
No, it's not.
If you two can't make it,
342
00:19:33,757 --> 00:19:35,077
what hope is there for the rest
of us?
343
00:19:36,757 --> 00:19:40,756
Anyway... Oh, right, I should,
I should get out of here.
344
00:19:40,757 --> 00:19:44,317
This is getting cold.
I've got Keanu waiting in the car.
345
00:19:47,917 --> 00:19:49,037
Nice to see you.
346
00:19:49,038 --> 00:19:50,317
Again.
347
00:19:53,157 --> 00:19:54,837
Go, Andrew. Go!
348
00:20:00,117 --> 00:20:01,837
No.
349
00:20:12,277 --> 00:20:16,396
Hello? Are you near a computer?
Why? Just go to your computer.
350
00:20:16,397 --> 00:20:21,156
I've sent you a link.
Am I going to hate this?
351
00:20:21,157 --> 00:20:22,437
Not as much as Matt.
352
00:20:25,877 --> 00:20:28,716
Oh, Christ!
353
00:20:28,717 --> 00:20:31,156
And plaid? What is he thinking?!
354
00:20:31,157 --> 00:20:33,077
Let's just hope he doesn't see this.
355
00:21:20,157 --> 00:21:22,397
This hummus is wonderful.
356
00:21:23,397 --> 00:21:26,036
It's not too... hummus-y.
357
00:21:26,037 --> 00:21:30,157
You know how sometimes hummus
can just have too much...
358
00:21:31,477 --> 00:21:34,356
Hummus-ness?
359
00:21:34,357 --> 00:21:36,236
Ha, yes.
360
00:21:36,237 --> 00:21:39,716
But this has got some other flavour
going on. Hmm, basil.
361
00:21:39,717 --> 00:21:41,596
"Baysil".
362
00:21:41,597 --> 00:21:46,796
Well, "baysil", basil.
"Tomayto", tomato.
363
00:21:46,797 --> 00:21:49,837
"Aluminum", aluminium.
Language is funny.
364
00:21:52,957 --> 00:21:54,676
Oh God, sorry. I'll shut it off.
365
00:21:54,677 --> 00:21:58,436
The phone, I mean.
Me, I can't seem to.
366
00:21:58,437 --> 00:22:01,076
Hello? Not what I meant to do.
No, it's fine.
367
00:22:01,077 --> 00:22:04,317
Erm, let me take you off speaker.
OK?
368
00:22:05,517 --> 00:22:06,917
Wait, I'm trying.
369
00:22:08,317 --> 00:22:09,756
Never mind.
370
00:22:09,757 --> 00:22:12,156
Just go to your computer.
371
00:22:12,157 --> 00:22:15,196
Actually, I'm not home.
Where are you?
372
00:22:15,197 --> 00:22:16,317
At a restaurant.
373
00:22:16,318 --> 00:22:19,156
Oh, is Carol there?
Carol, you're going to love this.
374
00:22:19,157 --> 00:22:22,596
No, I'm not with Carol.
Can we speak later?
375
00:22:22,597 --> 00:22:25,636
Who are you with?
376
00:22:25,637 --> 00:22:28,356
I, erm, I'm...
377
00:22:28,357 --> 00:22:30,717
I'm actually... on... a...
378
00:22:34,477 --> 00:22:35,597
date.
379
00:22:42,437 --> 00:22:44,357
Hello?
380
00:22:46,437 --> 00:22:47,637
Right.
381
00:22:48,957 --> 00:22:50,557
We can discuss this tomorrow.
382
00:22:51,757 --> 00:22:54,876
No need. All good.
383
00:22:54,877 --> 00:22:58,357
Push on, have fun.
384
00:23:06,077 --> 00:23:10,957
Enjoy sex more because of nerve
endings, or something like that.
385
00:23:16,317 --> 00:23:18,677
I was sitting on my bike one time...
386
00:23:20,997 --> 00:23:23,716
I'd say 90, 95.
387
00:23:23,717 --> 00:23:28,396
Going down to 14 in the middle
of the night. That's pretty fun.
388
00:23:28,397 --> 00:23:31,716
A little dangerous, but it's
definitely exciting.
389
00:23:31,717 --> 00:23:33,357
But it was worth it.
390
00:24:19,517 --> 00:24:21,116
Hey.
391
00:24:21,117 --> 00:24:22,477
It's me.
392
00:24:24,317 --> 00:24:26,037
Call me when you get this.
393
00:24:29,077 --> 00:24:31,317
I'm sorry I've been such a prick.
394
00:24:33,637 --> 00:24:35,317
I really need to see you.
395
00:24:46,357 --> 00:24:49,716
You all right? I'm fine.
396
00:24:49,717 --> 00:24:51,917
I assume that was your, your ex?
397
00:24:53,877 --> 00:24:57,916
Not even ex, we're...
398
00:24:57,917 --> 00:24:59,876
estranged.
399
00:24:59,877 --> 00:25:03,876
And that was definitely the
"estrangest" part of this so far.
400
00:25:03,877 --> 00:25:05,116
Not really.
401
00:25:05,117 --> 00:25:08,156
I mean, keep in mind, he
has been the one all along
402
00:25:08,157 --> 00:25:11,516
who's been saying, "We're done,
it's over, move on".
403
00:25:11,517 --> 00:25:14,796
So what did he expect?
That I'd sit in my cave and pine?
404
00:25:14,797 --> 00:25:17,076
Which, by the way,
I have done my share of.
405
00:25:17,077 --> 00:25:19,796
Not in an actual cave, of course.
406
00:25:19,797 --> 00:25:21,917
At a certain point, one has to...
407
00:25:26,197 --> 00:25:27,836
What?
408
00:25:27,837 --> 00:25:29,277
I've just had a small epiphany.
409
00:25:29,278 --> 00:25:30,597
OK.
410
00:25:32,597 --> 00:25:35,316
In the grand scope
of human existence,
411
00:25:35,317 --> 00:25:39,596
I believe I may just be
the worst date ever.
412
00:25:39,597 --> 00:25:41,076
Hmm...
413
00:25:41,077 --> 00:25:45,836
Even with the caveat that this is my
first one of these in over a decade,
414
00:25:45,837 --> 00:25:49,916
still, I'm a person who lives in
the world. I get it.
415
00:25:49,917 --> 00:25:53,836
If you want to leave right now, you
would so be within your rights...
416
00:25:53,837 --> 00:25:55,795
Stop. I'm serious. I'll just glance
over here at the olives,
417
00:25:55,796 --> 00:25:57,077
and you can slip away.
418
00:25:57,078 --> 00:26:01,156
You're not stopping. Sorry.
419
00:26:01,157 --> 00:26:03,916
I'm really your first date
in ten years?
420
00:26:03,917 --> 00:26:06,597
Yup, that's right. You won
that golden ticket.
421
00:26:08,517 --> 00:26:10,836
OK, here's what we're going to do.
422
00:26:10,837 --> 00:26:14,956
Tonight never happened.
Oh, it happened!
423
00:26:14,957 --> 00:26:17,956
No, no, no. No, you are getting
a total do-over.
424
00:26:17,957 --> 00:26:20,076
Tomorrow night, we're
going to try this again.
425
00:26:20,077 --> 00:26:22,397
You don't have to do that.
I know.
426
00:26:23,957 --> 00:26:26,276
You're incredibly kind.
427
00:26:26,277 --> 00:26:29,236
No, it's an educated bet.
428
00:26:29,237 --> 00:26:31,557
I'm thinking you might be worth it.
429
00:26:33,637 --> 00:26:37,877
Well, I'm probably not,
but thank you.
430
00:26:48,077 --> 00:26:49,357
Is your arm in the hummus?
It is, yes.
431
00:27:08,557 --> 00:27:12,636
I came as soon as I got your
message. I love you so much!
432
00:27:12,637 --> 00:27:14,037
I know.
433
00:27:24,298 --> 00:27:53,329
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434
00:27:54,305 --> 00:28:00,749
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