1
00:00:04,217 --> 00:00:09,366
Can we speak later? Who're you with?
I'm er actually on...
2
00:00:11,289 --> 00:00:13,449
a... date.
3
00:00:13,604 --> 00:00:16,683
It's not just that people
don't like Pucks!
4
00:00:16,684 --> 00:00:18,723
The dog show is killing us.
5
00:00:18,724 --> 00:00:21,443
We had that cock-sucking dog,
how did we let it go?!
6
00:00:21,444 --> 00:00:24,243
You said, "If anyone wants to pay
for that piece of shit,
7
00:00:24,244 --> 00:00:25,404
"let them have it."
8
00:00:25,405 --> 00:00:27,363
Sounds like me.
9
00:00:27,364 --> 00:00:30,003
Guess who dropped by
the boys' school this afternoon?
10
00:00:30,004 --> 00:00:33,403
I give up. How about
your fucking stalker!
11
00:00:33,404 --> 00:00:34,803
Oh shit!
12
00:00:34,804 --> 00:00:38,443
That fucking lunatic comes near my
kids again, I swear to God...
13
00:00:38,444 --> 00:00:40,683
I came as soon as I got your message.
14
00:00:40,684 --> 00:00:42,923
I love you so much!
15
00:00:42,924 --> 00:00:44,644
I know.
16
00:00:48,977 --> 00:01:34,281
Subtitles by MemoryOnSmells
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17
00:01:36,000 --> 00:01:42,074
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18
00:01:50,164 --> 00:01:55,164
Aaah, fuck!
19
00:01:57,684 --> 00:01:59,904
Does this smell bad?
20
00:01:59,950 --> 00:02:01,029
Oh! Yes!
21
00:02:01,030 --> 00:02:02,108
Have you seen this?
22
00:02:02,109 --> 00:02:03,470
No. Should I throw it out?
23
00:02:03,471 --> 00:02:05,109
Yes! Look!
24
00:02:05,110 --> 00:02:06,350
What am I looking at?
25
00:02:06,351 --> 00:02:08,350
Nikke Finke, Deadline Hollywood.
Top story.
26
00:02:08,351 --> 00:02:12,429
"Who let the dog out? Merc Lapidus."
Awww.
27
00:02:12,430 --> 00:02:15,869
"It's no secret that
a certain talking canine
28
00:02:15,870 --> 00:02:19,149
"has become the number one
new comedy of the television season.
29
00:02:19,150 --> 00:02:21,789
"But what's less well-known
is that the ABC laugher
30
00:02:21,790 --> 00:02:24,869
"was originally developed
by a rival network."
31
00:02:24,870 --> 00:02:26,349
Uhhhh...
32
00:02:26,350 --> 00:02:28,829
"And it was network prexy,
Merc Lapidus,
33
00:02:28,830 --> 00:02:31,629
"who not only had the wisdom
to pass on the barking mega-hit,
34
00:02:31,630 --> 00:02:34,189
"but then compounded
the bone-headed move
35
00:02:34,190 --> 00:02:37,429
"by letting the project
be sold to a rival network.
36
00:02:37,430 --> 00:02:40,869
"Inside sources tell me that
Lapidus can't be long for the job,
37
00:02:40,870 --> 00:02:44,509
"especially
if you're counting in dog years."
38
00:02:44,510 --> 00:02:47,790
Aww. Hmm.
39
00:02:49,190 --> 00:02:50,990
Morning. Morning!
40
00:03:05,110 --> 00:03:06,509
So...
41
00:03:06,510 --> 00:03:07,910
So, so, so.
42
00:03:09,670 --> 00:03:12,469
Sorry to disturb you last night
during your er...
43
00:03:12,470 --> 00:03:14,349
date.
44
00:03:14,350 --> 00:03:17,390
That's all right. No worries!
45
00:03:18,790 --> 00:03:20,189
Ah, good. Phew!
46
00:03:20,190 --> 00:03:21,589
How was it?
47
00:03:21,590 --> 00:03:23,190
The "date"?
48
00:03:24,510 --> 00:03:25,949
Fine.
49
00:03:25,950 --> 00:03:28,470
Oh, brilliant! Good, good.
50
00:03:31,870 --> 00:03:34,389
Would you like to talk about it?
No, no!
51
00:03:34,390 --> 00:03:36,229
Noooo!
52
00:03:36,230 --> 00:03:38,349
All right.
53
00:03:45,510 --> 00:03:47,469
Although... Yeah.
54
00:03:47,470 --> 00:03:49,829
I was wondering, erm...
55
00:03:49,830 --> 00:03:53,029
the "date," was with...?
56
00:03:53,030 --> 00:03:56,029
Rob. Morning's brother. Ah-ha!
57
00:03:56,030 --> 00:03:58,830
Ah, keeping it in the family.
Smart! Good!
58
00:04:00,070 --> 00:04:01,829
He seems nice.
59
00:04:01,830 --> 00:04:03,710
Mmm.
60
00:04:05,390 --> 00:04:06,830
Where did you go on the...
61
00:04:08,670 --> 00:04:09,749
"date"?
62
00:04:09,750 --> 00:04:13,709
Oh, just to this
neighbourhood tapas place.
63
00:04:13,710 --> 00:04:14,910
Tapas!
64
00:04:16,110 --> 00:04:17,150
Tapas!
65
00:04:18,270 --> 00:04:19,349
Tapas!
66
00:04:19,350 --> 00:04:22,150
Spanish... little plates.
67
00:04:23,750 --> 00:04:26,829
OK. Speaking as someone
who knows you fairly well,
68
00:04:26,830 --> 00:04:29,629
I'm thinking
you're going to get weirder
69
00:04:29,630 --> 00:04:31,470
before you get less weird.
70
00:04:32,470 --> 00:04:34,789
Er, you may want to step away.
71
00:04:34,790 --> 00:04:36,350
Good idea. Good idea.
72
00:04:37,670 --> 00:04:40,230
Good call!
73
00:04:43,830 --> 00:04:46,149
Tapas!
74
00:04:46,150 --> 00:04:48,510
Tapas!
75
00:05:00,550 --> 00:05:02,750
Anybody read anything good
in the paper today?
76
00:05:07,910 --> 00:05:08,989
Yeah, laugh.
77
00:05:08,990 --> 00:05:11,869
FYI, you all get buried
in the pyramid with me.
78
00:05:15,630 --> 00:05:18,829
OK, so we need you to sign off
on our sweeps promos.
79
00:05:18,830 --> 00:05:22,749
Also, we should review
the status of the development slate.
80
00:05:22,750 --> 00:05:24,589
Yeah, yeah, before that,
81
00:05:24,590 --> 00:05:27,469
I'd like to know,
where's our vampire show?
82
00:05:27,470 --> 00:05:28,829
Our... our, what?
83
00:05:28,830 --> 00:05:30,428
Well, am I the only one who's noticed
84
00:05:30,429 --> 00:05:32,188
that everybody's got vampires
but us?
85
00:05:32,189 --> 00:05:33,430
Not just vampires.
86
00:05:33,431 --> 00:05:35,589
AMC's got their fucking zombies!
87
00:05:35,590 --> 00:05:38,389
And we've got, what?
88
00:05:38,390 --> 00:05:40,629
Well, we've been trying to stick
to your mandate
89
00:05:40,630 --> 00:05:43,869
to only do dramas
"ripped from the headlines."
90
00:05:43,870 --> 00:05:45,710
Not a lot of zombies
in the headlines.
91
00:05:47,910 --> 00:05:49,110
But let us get the word out.
92
00:05:49,111 --> 00:05:51,389
We'll call some agents,
93
00:05:51,390 --> 00:05:53,508
get some pitches in...
I don't have time for that!
94
00:05:53,509 --> 00:05:55,388
I'll have New York
calling any minute now.
95
00:05:55,389 --> 00:05:56,590
I need something that says,
96
00:05:56,591 --> 00:05:59,389
"Hey, forget that
talking dog shit storm over there!
97
00:05:59,390 --> 00:06:01,629
"Look over here! Werewolves!"
98
00:06:01,630 --> 00:06:04,109
MTV's got werewolves.
99
00:06:04,110 --> 00:06:05,590
So not werewolves! Help me here!
100
00:06:05,591 --> 00:06:09,389
Well, first of all, we already have
some terrific projects
101
00:06:09,390 --> 00:06:11,109
you can get them excited about.
102
00:06:11,110 --> 00:06:12,910
Have you read
Beyond The Roses yet?
103
00:06:12,911 --> 00:06:14,509
What's Beyond The Roses?
104
00:06:14,510 --> 00:06:16,629
It's on your desk. It's that book.
105
00:06:16,630 --> 00:06:18,269
A book?!
106
00:06:18,270 --> 00:06:20,309
We already talked about it.
107
00:06:20,310 --> 00:06:24,829
It's that bestseller
about the family in the '60s.
108
00:06:24,830 --> 00:06:26,989
It's a beautifully nuanced portrait.
109
00:06:26,990 --> 00:06:28,749
Oh, wow! A nuanced portrait!
110
00:06:28,750 --> 00:06:32,589
Look at HBO, they're up the ass
with nuanced portraits!
111
00:06:32,590 --> 00:06:34,229
What are the people watching?
112
00:06:34,230 --> 00:06:36,109
Their fucking vampires!
113
00:06:36,110 --> 00:06:37,469
Where are MY vampires?!
114
00:06:37,470 --> 00:06:40,269
I want ideas and I want them now!
115
00:06:40,270 --> 00:06:42,589
Go! Er...
116
00:06:42,590 --> 00:06:43,870
Something with mummies!
117
00:06:43,871 --> 00:06:45,389
Mummies? Too slow!
118
00:06:45,390 --> 00:06:48,069
Leprechauns? Nothing scarier
than a fucking rainbow!
119
00:06:48,070 --> 00:06:50,669
Um... sss..er...
120
00:06:50,670 --> 00:06:52,509
come back to me?
121
00:06:52,510 --> 00:06:53,749
Oh, Jesus!
122
00:06:53,750 --> 00:06:56,229
Dragons?
123
00:06:56,230 --> 00:06:57,589
Goblins?
124
00:06:57,590 --> 00:06:58,790
Um, keep going.
125
00:06:58,791 --> 00:07:01,189
Shape shifters? Lizard men?
Gypsies!
126
00:07:01,190 --> 00:07:03,189
There's probably
a more constructive way...
127
00:07:03,190 --> 00:07:05,749
Ogres, trolls, warlocks... pixies!
128
00:07:05,750 --> 00:07:08,669
Mutants! Cyborgs! Succubi!
129
00:07:08,670 --> 00:07:10,549
SUCCUBI!
130
00:07:10,550 --> 00:07:12,749
HUGE rats!
131
00:07:12,750 --> 00:07:13,990
Harpies! Mermen!
132
00:07:13,991 --> 00:07:15,309
Gypsies!
133
00:07:15,310 --> 00:07:16,470
Gypsies are real.
134
00:07:16,471 --> 00:07:19,350
I don't think so.
135
00:07:30,550 --> 00:07:33,069
I..er...
136
00:07:33,070 --> 00:07:35,349
I wanted to apologise
for my behaviour earlier.
137
00:07:35,350 --> 00:07:36,749
Oh, no need!
138
00:07:36,750 --> 00:07:37,989
Mmm...
139
00:07:37,990 --> 00:07:40,469
It's a very strange time
for both of us.
140
00:07:40,470 --> 00:07:42,549
I'm the one who's saying
there's no going back.
141
00:07:42,550 --> 00:07:44,269
So you dating is something
142
00:07:44,270 --> 00:07:46,309
I should have seen coming.
143
00:07:46,310 --> 00:07:48,389
I'm sorry I reacted so poorly.
144
00:07:48,390 --> 00:07:51,669
It's as much my fault
as it is yours. No, no, no.
145
00:07:51,670 --> 00:07:54,349
No, I should have warned you
before I went.
146
00:07:54,350 --> 00:07:56,629
Right.
147
00:07:56,630 --> 00:07:57,989
Yeah.
148
00:07:57,990 --> 00:07:59,310
Or just turned your phone off.
149
00:07:59,311 --> 00:08:01,509
Absolutely!
150
00:08:01,510 --> 00:08:03,590
Good advice for next time!
151
00:08:07,270 --> 00:08:08,709
What?
152
00:08:08,710 --> 00:08:10,590
Nothing.
153
00:08:16,110 --> 00:08:18,429
Funnily enough... erm...
154
00:08:18,430 --> 00:08:21,469
doesn't "funnily" sound like
it shouldn't be a word?
155
00:08:21,470 --> 00:08:24,589
It's a word.
156
00:08:24,590 --> 00:08:26,470
I know. But it sounds like
I made it up!
157
00:08:26,471 --> 00:08:28,429
"Funnily!"
158
00:08:28,430 --> 00:08:30,589
Seems like it should
involve a funnel!
159
00:08:30,590 --> 00:08:32,909
Anyway, FUNNILY,
160
00:08:32,910 --> 00:08:35,709
I hadn't really thought about
a next time.
161
00:08:35,710 --> 00:08:37,430
Is there a next time in the offing?
162
00:08:37,431 --> 00:08:40,469
Well, FUNNILY...
163
00:08:40,470 --> 00:08:42,949
We're seeing each other
again tonight.
164
00:08:42,950 --> 00:08:46,109
Tonight?!
165
00:08:46,110 --> 00:08:48,469
I...I hadn't seen that coming!
166
00:08:48,470 --> 00:08:50,269
Do you need to step away again?
167
00:08:50,270 --> 00:08:51,750
I think I do!
168
00:08:57,190 --> 00:08:59,389
Ooh... "Funnily!"
169
00:08:59,390 --> 00:09:02,189
Hi, honey! It's Carol Rance.
170
00:09:02,190 --> 00:09:03,510
Crazy left-field question,
171
00:09:03,511 --> 00:09:07,469
would JJ have any interest in
developing a show about gargoyles?
172
00:09:09,470 --> 00:09:11,749
Elliot Salad on two.
173
00:09:11,750 --> 00:09:13,069
For me?
174
00:09:13,070 --> 00:09:14,869
Mmm-hmm.
175
00:09:14,870 --> 00:09:16,228
Sweetie, I'm so, so sorry.
176
00:09:16,229 --> 00:09:17,470
I have to call you back.
177
00:09:17,471 --> 00:09:19,750
It's New York.
178
00:09:21,350 --> 00:09:23,349
Elliot, hi!
179
00:09:23,350 --> 00:09:25,189
'Hello, pretty lady!'
180
00:09:25,190 --> 00:09:27,349
'So how are things in New York?
181
00:09:27,350 --> 00:09:29,189
'I saw you had almost 70 degrees!'
182
00:09:29,190 --> 00:09:31,389
And they say there's
no global warming!
183
00:09:31,390 --> 00:09:33,869
There's no global warming.
Thank you!
184
00:09:33,870 --> 00:09:35,030
It's ridiculous!
185
00:09:35,031 --> 00:09:37,549
People, hello?! It's called weather!
186
00:09:37,550 --> 00:09:39,789
So what's up?
187
00:09:39,790 --> 00:09:43,829
'I actually just landed in LA.'
Oh, wow! Welcome.
188
00:09:43,830 --> 00:09:45,070
'I was wondering, '
189
00:09:45,071 --> 00:09:47,509
do you think we could meet
for a drink tonight?
190
00:09:47,510 --> 00:09:48,909
Yeah, absolutely.
191
00:09:48,910 --> 00:09:51,669
Let me just make sure Merc's free,
but I can't imagine he would...
192
00:09:51,670 --> 00:09:52,989
'No, no.'
193
00:09:52,990 --> 00:09:54,830
No Merc. Just you.
194
00:09:56,030 --> 00:09:57,789
Uh, sure. All right.
195
00:09:57,790 --> 00:10:00,029
Is everything OK?
196
00:10:00,030 --> 00:10:01,909
'Couldn't be better.'
197
00:10:01,910 --> 00:10:04,949
Well, great. Great.
198
00:10:04,950 --> 00:10:08,029
Oh, and maybe don't mention to him
that we're getting together.
199
00:10:10,350 --> 00:10:13,349
Great, yeah, totally.
200
00:10:13,350 --> 00:10:15,710
See you then. Bye-bye.
201
00:10:24,070 --> 00:10:26,630
It's open!
202
00:10:32,310 --> 00:10:33,990
Oh, hey, Facebook friend!
203
00:10:35,470 --> 00:10:38,029
Hey... you!
204
00:10:38,030 --> 00:10:40,349
Or should I say, ex-Facebook friend?
205
00:10:40,350 --> 00:10:41,590
I miss your status!
206
00:10:41,591 --> 00:10:44,910
Aw, that's... sweet.
207
00:10:46,350 --> 00:10:49,669
If you'll just
excuse me for a moment?
208
00:10:49,670 --> 00:10:51,870
A moment.
209
00:11:00,310 --> 00:11:02,309
I need security! Wait!
210
00:11:02,310 --> 00:11:03,869
Don't go in there! Why not?
211
00:11:03,870 --> 00:11:07,469
She's in there. Um, er, you know...
212
00:11:07,470 --> 00:11:08,750
Yeah, I know. You know?
213
00:11:08,751 --> 00:11:11,509
She came in with me today.
Never mind. She came in with you?
214
00:11:11,510 --> 00:11:13,869
Yeah. It's cool. I'm guessing
it's many things.
215
00:11:13,870 --> 00:11:15,830
Cool is probably the one thing
it's not.
216
00:11:15,831 --> 00:11:18,869
What's going on? Apparently, it's
Bring Your Stalker To Work Day.
217
00:11:18,870 --> 00:11:21,550
What? He's got Labia in there!
What?!
218
00:11:22,750 --> 00:11:25,510
Last night I got really hammered.
219
00:11:26,910 --> 00:11:28,989
And I was feeling kind of depressed.
220
00:11:28,990 --> 00:11:30,989
So I don't know,
I guess I called her.
221
00:11:30,990 --> 00:11:32,830
You guess?
Why do you even have her number?
222
00:11:32,831 --> 00:11:35,309
From the last time I called her?
Unbelievable!
223
00:11:35,310 --> 00:11:37,790
I know. Even as I was dialling,
I'm like, "Don't do this!
224
00:11:37,791 --> 00:11:41,149
"You know it's only going
to bite you in the ass!"
225
00:11:41,150 --> 00:11:42,470
What? She bit you in the arse?
226
00:11:42,471 --> 00:11:43,989
A little bit.
227
00:11:43,990 --> 00:11:45,989
OK, fine, I get it!
228
00:11:45,990 --> 00:11:48,749
You're not supposed
to screw your stalker!
229
00:11:48,750 --> 00:11:52,069
You brought her to work! I'm not
going to leave her in my house!
230
00:11:52,070 --> 00:11:54,430
Oh, of course not!
Where are you going to put her next?
231
00:11:54,431 --> 00:11:55,829
I'm open to suggestions.
232
00:11:55,830 --> 00:11:58,829
Well, if you put her in your car,
remember to crack open a window.
233
00:11:58,830 --> 00:12:00,590
A LOT of stalkers
have died that way.
234
00:12:00,591 --> 00:12:02,469
Look, don't worry about it.
235
00:12:02,470 --> 00:12:05,189
Have you thought this through
at all?
236
00:12:05,190 --> 00:12:07,189
What about Diane?
237
00:12:07,190 --> 00:12:09,829
Oh, shit! Diane!
238
00:12:09,830 --> 00:12:10,910
Oh, please, please!
239
00:12:10,911 --> 00:12:13,509
Please may I be there when you
try to explain this to her?
240
00:12:13,510 --> 00:12:15,269
"Darling, don't worry!
241
00:12:15,270 --> 00:12:17,670
"She's not a maniac any more,
I fucked it out of her!"
242
00:12:17,671 --> 00:12:19,189
Yeah, yeah, I hear you.
243
00:12:19,190 --> 00:12:21,070
All right,
I've got to get rid of her.
244
00:12:21,071 --> 00:12:23,669
That won't be hard now!
All right, OK! It's fucked up!
245
00:12:23,670 --> 00:12:25,309
It's not fucked up!
246
00:12:25,310 --> 00:12:27,029
YOU... FUCKED... IT... UP!
247
00:12:27,030 --> 00:12:28,629
Your shrink was right.
248
00:12:28,630 --> 00:12:30,989
You really do have
an inability to appreciate
249
00:12:30,990 --> 00:12:32,509
the consequences of your actions.
250
00:12:32,510 --> 00:12:35,109
When did he tell you that?
When he was destroying our lives.
251
00:12:35,110 --> 00:12:38,550
Ah, yes! Good times.
252
00:12:41,150 --> 00:12:43,269
Oh, my God! I know.
253
00:12:43,270 --> 00:12:45,789
He is the most self-sabotaging
person I have ever met!
254
00:12:45,790 --> 00:12:47,750
And we know some pretty
fucked-up people!
255
00:12:47,751 --> 00:12:50,069
It's like watching a car wreck.
256
00:12:50,070 --> 00:12:51,670
Only he's driving both cars.
257
00:12:53,430 --> 00:12:55,549
Somebody named Rob called.
258
00:12:55,550 --> 00:12:57,669
About tonight.
259
00:12:57,670 --> 00:12:58,790
Er...
260
00:13:00,790 --> 00:13:02,589
you can tell me later.
261
00:13:02,590 --> 00:13:03,670
How much later?
262
00:13:03,671 --> 00:13:06,110
I was kind of hoping
to get out of here early.
263
00:13:07,470 --> 00:13:09,428
All right. All right,
I can leave early?
264
00:13:09,429 --> 00:13:11,230
Or all right, you want the message?
265
00:13:11,231 --> 00:13:13,469
Just give me the message and go.
266
00:13:13,470 --> 00:13:15,269
OK, he said to tell you,
267
00:13:15,270 --> 00:13:17,629
same time as last night,
268
00:13:17,630 --> 00:13:19,310
same restaurant.
269
00:13:20,790 --> 00:13:22,069
Thank you.
270
00:13:22,070 --> 00:13:23,749
So I can go?
271
00:13:23,750 --> 00:13:24,910
Fine!
272
00:13:31,910 --> 00:13:33,910
So...
273
00:13:36,830 --> 00:13:39,749
I think I may take off as well.
274
00:13:39,750 --> 00:13:41,069
How about you?
275
00:13:41,070 --> 00:13:43,429
Er, I... I've got some stuff to do.
276
00:13:43,430 --> 00:13:45,389
You know, emails.
277
00:13:45,390 --> 00:13:46,830
Get organized for tomorrow.
278
00:13:46,831 --> 00:13:49,789
All right, well, have a nice evening.
279
00:13:49,790 --> 00:13:52,189
You too.
280
00:13:52,190 --> 00:13:54,749
I promise I will
have my phone off tonight!
281
00:13:54,750 --> 00:13:56,669
And I will not be calling!
282
00:13:56,670 --> 00:13:59,230
Very good!
283
00:14:04,510 --> 00:14:06,670
See you tomorrow. Absolutely!
284
00:14:19,950 --> 00:14:23,109
I have to ask, are you actually
typing something, or just pretending?
285
00:14:23,110 --> 00:14:24,309
Pretending.
286
00:14:24,310 --> 00:14:26,389
Right. Night.
287
00:14:26,390 --> 00:14:27,830
Night.
288
00:14:39,190 --> 00:14:40,749
Look, we need to talk.
289
00:14:40,750 --> 00:14:44,629
Nooo! I just got here!
290
00:14:44,630 --> 00:14:46,390
Labia, listen to me.
291
00:14:49,230 --> 00:14:51,749
I shouldn't have called you.
It was wrong.
292
00:14:51,750 --> 00:14:52,869
No! Yes! No!
293
00:14:52,870 --> 00:14:55,749
Yes! This is over.
294
00:14:55,750 --> 00:14:58,189
We're done, that's it!
295
00:14:58,190 --> 00:15:00,790
You really have to go. Now!
296
00:15:02,830 --> 00:15:04,309
OK.
297
00:15:04,310 --> 00:15:06,469
Yeah?
298
00:15:06,470 --> 00:15:08,629
Well, if that's what
you really want.
299
00:15:08,630 --> 00:15:10,949
I mean, really, really,
really, really?
300
00:15:10,950 --> 00:15:12,469
It really is, really.
301
00:15:12,470 --> 00:15:13,949
All right.
302
00:15:13,950 --> 00:15:15,789
Then I'll go.
303
00:15:15,790 --> 00:15:17,429
Thank you.
304
00:15:17,430 --> 00:15:18,949
But I'll always be waiting.
305
00:15:18,950 --> 00:15:20,949
OK.
306
00:15:20,950 --> 00:15:23,309
Not, like, in front of the house
though, right?
307
00:15:23,310 --> 00:15:25,389
Sometimes in front of the house.
308
00:15:25,390 --> 00:15:26,829
Great!
309
00:15:26,830 --> 00:15:29,909
Look, please, don't wait for me.
310
00:15:29,910 --> 00:15:32,149
You deserve someone who loves you.
311
00:15:32,150 --> 00:15:34,469
Ah! You do!
312
00:15:34,470 --> 00:15:35,789
They'll never be you.
313
00:15:35,790 --> 00:15:39,509
That's not necessarily a bad thing.
I don't care!
314
00:15:39,510 --> 00:15:41,629
I'll wait as long as I have to.
315
00:15:41,630 --> 00:15:43,749
Even when you're old.
316
00:15:43,750 --> 00:15:46,389
Even when you're old
and you've lost all your hair,
317
00:15:46,390 --> 00:15:49,989
and you're not famous any more,
318
00:15:49,990 --> 00:15:52,669
I'll still be waiting.
319
00:15:52,670 --> 00:15:55,949
Even if you're just an old, fat,
former TV star
320
00:15:55,950 --> 00:15:59,309
with no money, who nobody wants,
I'LL want you.
321
00:15:59,310 --> 00:16:00,629
If you get cancer
322
00:16:00,630 --> 00:16:04,389
and you lose control of your bowels
and you smell bad,
323
00:16:04,390 --> 00:16:07,509
and no woman even wants
to look at you,
324
00:16:07,510 --> 00:16:08,750
I'll be there for you.
325
00:16:21,390 --> 00:16:23,149
Hello?
326
00:16:23,150 --> 00:16:24,349
Hi!
327
00:16:24,350 --> 00:16:26,230
Er, I'm about to leave for my date.
328
00:16:26,231 --> 00:16:28,949
OK, now you're keeping me
a little too plugged in.
329
00:16:28,950 --> 00:16:30,510
I think we need to strike a balance.
330
00:16:32,390 --> 00:16:34,430
I just wanted to tell you that, er...
331
00:16:37,150 --> 00:16:40,270
if you don't want me to go,
I won't go.
332
00:16:41,990 --> 00:16:43,029
Oh.
333
00:16:43,030 --> 00:16:47,749
'However, I would want to know why
you don't want me to go.'
334
00:16:47,750 --> 00:16:49,989
If it's just out of jealousy,
335
00:16:49,990 --> 00:16:55,029
and you don't want anything more
for the two of us,
336
00:16:55,030 --> 00:16:58,989
then there's really
nothing in that for me.
337
00:16:58,990 --> 00:17:00,230
On the other hand...
338
00:17:01,950 --> 00:17:04,469
'..if you think
we still have a chance,
339
00:17:04,470 --> 00:17:09,589
'and that's something you want to
work towards, then say so, and...'
340
00:17:09,590 --> 00:17:11,910
I'll cancel this thing
in a heartbeat.
341
00:17:19,590 --> 00:17:20,790
Go.
342
00:17:26,750 --> 00:17:29,229
All right.
343
00:17:29,230 --> 00:17:32,070
Cool! See you tomorrow.
344
00:17:34,990 --> 00:17:36,270
Right.
345
00:17:44,870 --> 00:17:46,829
I was hoping you'd call.
346
00:17:46,830 --> 00:17:49,629
Really? Oh, sorry!
347
00:17:49,630 --> 00:17:51,709
I thought you were Sean.
348
00:17:51,710 --> 00:17:54,469
Well, it's me,
and I am FREAKING out!
349
00:17:54,470 --> 00:17:55,589
'Why is that?'
350
00:17:55,590 --> 00:17:57,949
OK, you cannot tell anyone.
351
00:17:57,950 --> 00:17:59,349
ANYONE! Swear?
352
00:17:59,350 --> 00:18:00,749
I swear.
353
00:18:00,750 --> 00:18:02,309
'Elliot Salad called.'
354
00:18:02,310 --> 00:18:05,589
He wants to meet me for a drink,
WITHOUT Merc.
355
00:18:05,590 --> 00:18:07,589
'OK...'
356
00:18:07,590 --> 00:18:10,149
You have no idea
who Elliot Salad is!
357
00:18:10,150 --> 00:18:13,709
None. How do you NOT know
Elliot Salad?!
358
00:18:13,710 --> 00:18:15,749
I feel like I've ordered one
at some point,
359
00:18:15,750 --> 00:18:18,749
but if you're saying
it's the name of a person...
360
00:18:18,750 --> 00:18:20,869
Elliot Salad
is the head of the network.
361
00:18:20,870 --> 00:18:22,309
He's Merc's boss.
362
00:18:22,310 --> 00:18:25,229
He's my boss. He's YOUR boss.
363
00:18:25,230 --> 00:18:28,870
I have a boss named Elliot Salad?!
364
00:18:30,470 --> 00:18:33,629
Oh, shit! Here he comes!
365
00:18:33,630 --> 00:18:35,549
'How's he dressed?'
366
00:18:35,550 --> 00:18:36,949
What? Oh, come on!
367
00:18:36,950 --> 00:18:38,390
Salad? DRESSED?!
368
00:18:46,550 --> 00:18:48,629
I'm just joining the lady.
369
00:18:48,630 --> 00:18:51,069
I'm sad.
370
00:18:51,070 --> 00:18:52,230
I know.
371
00:18:55,470 --> 00:18:57,109
Got everything? Yes.
372
00:18:57,110 --> 00:18:58,789
Got your sunglasses?
373
00:18:58,790 --> 00:19:00,869
No. Where are they?
374
00:19:00,870 --> 00:19:03,269
In the bedroom.
You want to help me look?
375
00:19:03,270 --> 00:19:05,349
No, no! No! You wait here.
376
00:19:05,350 --> 00:19:06,749
I'll go get them.
377
00:19:06,750 --> 00:19:08,869
DO NOT MOVE!
378
00:19:08,870 --> 00:19:10,070
OK.
379
00:19:16,390 --> 00:19:19,110
Don't answer that!
380
00:19:29,630 --> 00:19:31,949
'LeBlanc residence.'
381
00:19:31,950 --> 00:19:34,389
Is Matt there?
'Who may I say is calling?'
382
00:19:34,390 --> 00:19:36,029
Tell him it's Diane.
383
00:19:36,030 --> 00:19:37,349
'Oh, hi, Diane!'
384
00:19:37,350 --> 00:19:39,149
'It's Labia!'
385
00:19:39,150 --> 00:19:40,630
'Noooooo!'
386
00:19:42,590 --> 00:19:44,030
'Fuck!'
387
00:19:47,590 --> 00:19:49,149
You don't have kids, do you?
388
00:19:49,150 --> 00:19:51,309
Not yet. Some day.
389
00:19:51,310 --> 00:19:52,949
Hey, don't rush into it.
390
00:19:52,950 --> 00:19:55,589
You don't know what
you're going to end up with.
391
00:19:55,590 --> 00:19:56,910
My oldest son is bipolar.
392
00:19:56,911 --> 00:19:59,509
Last summer he burned down
our East Hampton place.
393
00:19:59,510 --> 00:20:03,349
The other one's still got
six months in mandatory rehab.
394
00:20:03,350 --> 00:20:07,509
And my daughter and two other girls
are married to this guy in Utah.
395
00:20:07,510 --> 00:20:09,309
Jesus! You can't catch a break!
396
00:20:09,310 --> 00:20:13,269
I love 'em all.
Of course you do! They're yours!
397
00:20:13,270 --> 00:20:15,750
I still think I have a chance
with my youngest one.
398
00:20:17,590 --> 00:20:20,349
Oh, she's a cutie!
399
00:20:20,350 --> 00:20:22,829
No, that's my wife. Oh, uh...
It's fine.
400
00:20:22,830 --> 00:20:24,749
Second marriage. Good for me!
401
00:20:24,750 --> 00:20:26,949
Here she is. She's seven.
402
00:20:26,950 --> 00:20:28,869
Aww! And so smart.
403
00:20:28,870 --> 00:20:32,149
Guess what her favourite TV show is?
404
00:20:32,150 --> 00:20:33,429
Pucks!?
405
00:20:33,430 --> 00:20:34,830
No, seriously, guess.
406
00:20:36,070 --> 00:20:38,629
Does it star a beagle
who won't shut up?
407
00:20:38,630 --> 00:20:41,109
Yep. She adores that dog.
408
00:20:41,110 --> 00:20:43,589
You developed that, right?
409
00:20:43,590 --> 00:20:46,589
Well, not just me.
We really are a team.
410
00:20:46,590 --> 00:20:49,149
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Did you get to meet the dog?
411
00:20:49,150 --> 00:20:52,589
It's actually five dogs.
Oh, I hate hearing that!
412
00:20:54,790 --> 00:20:57,789
It must have killed you
when Merc didn't go with it.
413
00:20:57,790 --> 00:21:00,029
You know, everybody makes mistakes.
414
00:21:00,030 --> 00:21:02,629
Well, there's mistakes
and then there's MISTAKES.
415
00:21:02,630 --> 00:21:05,589
Shows like this
come once in a decade.
416
00:21:05,590 --> 00:21:07,389
It's like lightning in a bottle.
417
00:21:07,390 --> 00:21:11,349
I watch my daughter watching it
and she just laughs.
418
00:21:11,350 --> 00:21:13,629
And she's got
this great little laugh,
419
00:21:13,630 --> 00:21:16,709
like a dolphin laugh, you know?
420
00:21:16,710 --> 00:21:18,549
And I listen to her,
421
00:21:18,550 --> 00:21:22,749
and she's just so into it
and so happy,
422
00:21:22,750 --> 00:21:25,389
it makes me want to grab a bat
and fucking kill someone.
423
00:21:25,390 --> 00:21:30,070
Just smash them and hurt them
and kill them!
424
00:21:31,110 --> 00:21:35,349
Maybe you shouldn't be around
when she watches it.
425
00:21:35,350 --> 00:21:38,469
The next morning,
when I look at the numbers... Jesus!
426
00:21:38,470 --> 00:21:40,110
I hate Tuesday mornings now.
427
00:21:41,350 --> 00:21:45,709
There's that dog
with his beautiful double digits.
428
00:21:45,710 --> 00:21:48,109
And then I look over at Pucks.
429
00:21:48,110 --> 00:21:50,309
What are we paying LeBlanc?
430
00:21:50,310 --> 00:21:53,710
I would pay that much
to watch the dog eat him.
431
00:21:56,630 --> 00:21:58,869
Look, a day doesn't go by
432
00:21:58,870 --> 00:22:01,829
that Merc doesn't
beat himself up about it.
433
00:22:01,830 --> 00:22:03,509
But what can we do?
434
00:22:03,510 --> 00:22:05,989
We've got to look forward.
435
00:22:05,990 --> 00:22:07,509
Well, he can stop looking forward.
436
00:22:07,510 --> 00:22:09,269
What?
437
00:22:09,270 --> 00:22:11,830
The decision's made. Merc's out.
438
00:22:17,430 --> 00:22:20,909
For some reason,
this all feels vaguely familiar.
439
00:22:20,910 --> 00:22:23,269
Almost as if we'd been here before.
440
00:22:23,270 --> 00:22:25,509
Only I'm not babbling like an idiot.
441
00:22:25,510 --> 00:22:26,670
The night is young.
442
00:22:26,671 --> 00:22:28,589
Believe me!
443
00:22:28,590 --> 00:22:29,909
Uh, no!
444
00:22:29,910 --> 00:22:30,950
Oh, God!
445
00:22:32,510 --> 00:22:34,869
So, how was your day?
446
00:22:34,870 --> 00:22:36,469
Uh-uh, no.
447
00:22:36,470 --> 00:22:38,549
No? No.
448
00:22:38,550 --> 00:22:41,069
I promised myself tonight
is about you.
449
00:22:41,070 --> 00:22:42,989
Oh, wow. You don't want
450
00:22:42,990 --> 00:22:44,750
to talk about house painting.
451
00:22:46,510 --> 00:22:48,190
Then we will sit in silence.
452
00:22:49,590 --> 00:22:51,749
All right then. I tell you what,
453
00:22:51,750 --> 00:22:53,869
if you're really interested,
454
00:22:53,870 --> 00:22:58,109
after dinner,
I'll show you what I'm working on.
455
00:22:58,110 --> 00:23:01,789
A house mid-paint? I'm intrigued!
456
00:23:01,790 --> 00:23:03,429
Are you?
457
00:23:03,430 --> 00:23:04,790
Strangely, I am.
458
00:23:10,910 --> 00:23:12,469
I know it's not up to me,
459
00:23:12,470 --> 00:23:15,589
but I really think
you should give him more time.
460
00:23:15,590 --> 00:23:18,389
Merc is a strong executive.
461
00:23:18,390 --> 00:23:19,790
He can turn this thing around!
462
00:23:19,791 --> 00:23:22,429
I appreciate your loyalty...
It's not loyalty!
463
00:23:22,430 --> 00:23:24,669
I truly believe he can do it.
464
00:23:24,670 --> 00:23:28,189
Carol! We've got a lot of
great shows in development...
465
00:23:28,190 --> 00:23:29,949
Honey! Stop!
466
00:23:29,950 --> 00:23:31,989
It's a done deal.
467
00:23:31,990 --> 00:23:34,310
The board voted. He's out.
468
00:23:35,390 --> 00:23:36,710
Jesus!
469
00:23:39,550 --> 00:23:41,869
What about all the years
we were number one?
470
00:23:41,870 --> 00:23:43,749
Don't they count for anything?
471
00:23:43,750 --> 00:23:44,949
They counted.
472
00:23:44,950 --> 00:23:46,070
When we were number one.
473
00:23:46,071 --> 00:23:48,790
I know, it's a ruthless business.
474
00:23:50,190 --> 00:23:54,509
Look, it happens to all of us
eventually.
475
00:23:54,510 --> 00:23:57,669
It's like the circle of life.
476
00:23:57,670 --> 00:23:59,749
Like Lion King. You saw Lion King?
477
00:23:59,750 --> 00:24:01,029
Mmm-hmm.
478
00:24:01,030 --> 00:24:03,390
Genius! Those puppets!
479
00:24:06,710 --> 00:24:08,349
When are you going to tell him?
480
00:24:08,350 --> 00:24:11,949
I thought I'd wait till
after his Man Of The Year thing.
481
00:24:11,950 --> 00:24:13,310
At least let him have that.
482
00:24:13,311 --> 00:24:15,429
That's nice. Also, that way,
483
00:24:15,430 --> 00:24:17,270
we can empty his office
while he's there.
484
00:24:20,910 --> 00:24:24,030
So, we should
talk about the transition.
485
00:24:25,670 --> 00:24:28,269
Can I ask? Do you know who
you're going to go with?
486
00:24:28,270 --> 00:24:29,949
We've got a very short list.
487
00:24:29,950 --> 00:24:31,309
Right.
488
00:24:31,310 --> 00:24:33,630
And your name's at the top of it.
489
00:24:45,190 --> 00:24:47,589
OK.
490
00:24:47,590 --> 00:24:50,829
You see all that marble?
491
00:24:50,830 --> 00:24:52,309
That's me.
492
00:24:52,310 --> 00:24:54,909
What do you mean, it's you?
493
00:24:54,910 --> 00:24:57,069
Well, it's not marble.
494
00:24:57,070 --> 00:24:58,869
It's all faux.
495
00:24:58,870 --> 00:25:01,189
Faux? Mmm-hmm.
496
00:25:01,190 --> 00:25:02,789
Oh, my God!
497
00:25:02,790 --> 00:25:04,509
Oh, my God, you painted all this?
498
00:25:04,510 --> 00:25:06,110
Well, me and my crew.
499
00:25:08,030 --> 00:25:10,469
You big, fat liar!
500
00:25:10,470 --> 00:25:12,269
"I paint houses!"
501
00:25:12,270 --> 00:25:14,709
You're a bloody genius!
502
00:25:14,710 --> 00:25:17,629
No, really. No, that is not true.
503
00:25:17,630 --> 00:25:19,470
The hell it's not! This is amazing!
504
00:25:19,471 --> 00:25:23,189
And this is actually
someone's house?
505
00:25:23,190 --> 00:25:25,029
Yeah. Can you believe it?
506
00:25:25,030 --> 00:25:26,829
No! Who's going to live here?
507
00:25:26,830 --> 00:25:28,389
Oh, I don't know.
508
00:25:28,390 --> 00:25:31,749
They don't even tell me their names.
509
00:25:31,750 --> 00:25:35,149
My crew and I call them
the Bullshits.
510
00:25:35,150 --> 00:25:36,590
Todd and Holly Bullshit.
511
00:25:37,630 --> 00:25:40,709
So their children
are the little Shits?
512
00:25:40,710 --> 00:25:42,790
Yeah, that's them!
513
00:25:45,990 --> 00:25:47,269
All faux?
514
00:25:47,270 --> 00:25:49,190
Mmm, all faux.
515
00:25:52,590 --> 00:25:54,909
You really are amazingly talented.
516
00:25:54,910 --> 00:25:56,030
You do know that?
517
00:25:56,031 --> 00:26:00,469
I'm OK. It's not art-art.
518
00:26:00,470 --> 00:26:02,110
I've seen a lot of art-art.
519
00:26:03,310 --> 00:26:05,549
I'd be willing to bet
that the paintings
520
00:26:05,550 --> 00:26:07,349
the Bullshits hang on these walls
521
00:26:07,350 --> 00:26:10,829
are not nearly as good as what
you're doing underneath them.
522
00:26:10,830 --> 00:26:13,389
You're very sweet.
523
00:26:13,390 --> 00:26:14,670
Actually, I'm not.
524
00:26:14,671 --> 00:26:17,069
You should speak to some
people who know me.
525
00:26:17,070 --> 00:26:19,790
No. No, I'm sticking with sweet.
526
00:26:37,350 --> 00:26:40,269
OK...
527
00:26:40,270 --> 00:26:42,149
All right?
528
00:26:42,150 --> 00:26:43,990
Yep... I am.
529
00:26:46,550 --> 00:26:47,830
That was lovely.
530
00:26:47,831 --> 00:26:49,429
A little troubling.
531
00:26:49,430 --> 00:26:51,149
Troubling?
532
00:26:51,150 --> 00:26:53,629
Because... it was lovely.
533
00:26:53,630 --> 00:26:55,869
Oh!
534
00:26:55,870 --> 00:26:57,310
Oh, what can I say? I'm a mess!
535
00:26:57,311 --> 00:26:59,110
You're allowed to be.
536
00:27:01,310 --> 00:27:02,830
See, you're the sweet one.
537
00:27:06,310 --> 00:27:12,029
When I came to this country,
a few months ago, um...
538
00:27:12,030 --> 00:27:13,350
I was happily married.
539
00:27:15,430 --> 00:27:18,350
I hadn't kissed another man
in ten years, and um...
540
00:27:20,430 --> 00:27:22,910
never had a doubt
as to what I was feeling.
541
00:27:25,790 --> 00:27:26,830
And now?
542
00:27:28,630 --> 00:27:30,989
I haven't a clue.
543
00:27:30,990 --> 00:27:32,030
But...
544
00:27:33,310 --> 00:27:36,510
whatever it is, funnily...
545
00:27:37,950 --> 00:27:41,870
it's definitely not faux.
546
00:27:47,950 --> 00:27:52,590
Oh! Now we're doing it again!
547
00:27:53,709 --> 00:28:22,866
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548
00:28:23,305 --> 00:28:29,938
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