1 00:00:05,106 --> 00:00:07,408 - DEB, LOOK AT THIS. 2 00:00:07,441 --> 00:00:09,110 I WAS WORKING OUT, I WAS DOING SOME POWER CRUNCHES, 3 00:00:09,143 --> 00:00:11,479 AND I FOUND THIS LUMP HERE. 4 00:00:12,580 --> 00:00:13,481 WHAT THE HELL IS THIS? 5 00:00:13,514 --> 00:00:15,249 THIS IS SOMETHING. THIS IS SOMETHING HERE. 6 00:00:16,684 --> 00:00:19,753 THIS IS NOT-- OH, I GOT ANOTHER ONE. 7 00:00:22,723 --> 00:00:25,193 OH, IT'S A SET. THAT'S OKAY; I'M ALL RIGHT. 8 00:00:25,226 --> 00:00:28,129 DON'T WORRY ABOUT IT. 9 00:00:28,162 --> 00:00:30,064 - [sighs] FREAK. 10 00:00:31,699 --> 00:00:32,700 - HI, I'M RAY. 11 00:00:32,733 --> 00:00:34,268 I LIVE HEREIN LONG ISLAND 12 00:00:34,302 --> 00:00:36,737 WITH MY WIFE, DEBRA; 13 00:00:36,770 --> 00:00:38,272 MY FIVE-YEAR-OLD DAUGHTER; 14 00:00:38,306 --> 00:00:49,183 AND TWIN ALMOST-TWO-YEAR-OLD BOYS. 15 00:00:49,217 --> 00:00:51,552 MY PARENTS LIVE ACROSS THE STREET. 16 00:00:51,585 --> 00:00:53,454 THAT'S RIGHT. 17 00:00:53,487 --> 00:00:55,189 THE TRUTH IS, I'D DO ANYTHING FOR MY FAMILY. 18 00:00:59,193 --> 00:01:11,839 AND DONE. 19 00:01:11,872 --> 00:01:13,641 - ABOUT THANKSGIVING. 20 00:01:13,674 --> 00:01:14,775 - YEAH, WHAT ABOUT IT? 21 00:01:14,808 --> 00:01:16,844 - WELL, I WAS THINKING, AREN'T YOU TIRED 22 00:01:16,877 --> 00:01:18,612 OF GOING TO OUR PARENTS' HOUSES EVERY YEAR? 23 00:01:18,646 --> 00:01:21,715 - YEAH. YEAH. THE WITNESS PROTECTION PROGRAM. 24 00:01:21,749 --> 00:01:24,352 WE GO UNDERGROUND THIS YEAR. 25 00:01:25,686 --> 00:01:27,288 - HERE. HOLD THIS. 26 00:01:27,321 --> 00:01:29,423 I WAS THINKING THAT INSTEAD OF ALTERNATING 27 00:01:29,457 --> 00:01:30,558 BETWEEN THEIR HOUSES, 28 00:01:30,591 --> 00:01:31,759 WE COULD JUST HAVE THANKSGIVING HERE. 29 00:01:31,792 --> 00:01:33,427 - NO. HERE? NO. NO. - WHY? 30 00:01:33,461 --> 00:01:35,463 - WITNESS PROTECTION PROGRAM. COME ON. 31 00:01:35,496 --> 00:01:36,897 YOU'RE GOING TO MISS SOME PEOPLE, 32 00:01:36,930 --> 00:01:39,433 BUT YOU'LL MAKE A LOT OF FRIENDS WHEN YOU'RE BLONDE. 33 00:01:39,467 --> 00:01:41,902 - LISTEN, YOU KNOW, WE'RE A FAMILY, 34 00:01:41,935 --> 00:01:44,572 AND I KIND OF WANT TO HAVE OUR OWN TRADITION, YOU KNOW? 35 00:01:44,605 --> 00:01:46,274 WHEN THE KIDS REMEMBER THANKSGIVING, 36 00:01:46,307 --> 00:01:47,741 I WANT THEM TO THINK OF OUR CELEBRATION. 37 00:01:47,775 --> 00:01:49,577 - YEAH, BUT IT'S SUPPOSED TO BE AT MY MOM'S THIS YEAR. 38 00:01:49,610 --> 00:01:51,145 - YEAH? 39 00:01:51,179 --> 00:01:53,381 - SHE DOESN'T HANDLE CHANGE WELL, HUH? 40 00:01:53,414 --> 00:01:56,850 REMEMBER THE GREAT MICROWAVE WARS OF '93? 41 00:01:56,884 --> 00:01:59,153 - SHE SURVIVED THEM. 42 00:01:59,187 --> 00:02:00,721 THEY'LL JUST COME OVER HERE. 43 00:02:00,754 --> 00:02:04,692 - YEAH, BUT MY MOM-- MY MOM'S SUCH A GREAT COOK. 44 00:02:04,725 --> 00:02:07,395 THANKSGIVING, THAT'S WHAT KIND OF MAKES MY MOM 45 00:02:07,428 --> 00:02:09,197 WORTH IT. 46 00:02:12,333 --> 00:02:14,268 - YOU SAYING I'M NOT A GREAT COOK? 47 00:02:14,302 --> 00:02:15,536 - NO! 48 00:02:15,569 --> 00:02:18,172 BUT YOU'RE ALWAYS WORTH IT. 49 00:02:18,206 --> 00:02:19,240 SEE, THAT'S CALLED A QUICK SAVE RIGHT THERE. 50 00:02:19,273 --> 00:02:21,275 - YEAH. 51 00:02:21,309 --> 00:02:22,810 - COME ON, YOU DON'T WANT TO DO ALL THAT-- 52 00:02:22,843 --> 00:02:25,613 ALL THAT COOKING AND THE SHOPPING AND THE CLEANING. 53 00:02:25,646 --> 00:02:28,582 - OH, YEAH, WHAT A CHANGE OF PACE THAT WOULD BE. 54 00:02:28,616 --> 00:02:30,718 [knocking at door] 55 00:02:32,253 --> 00:02:34,288 - SMELL YOUR FATHER. 56 00:02:34,322 --> 00:02:35,956 - WHAT? - WOULD YOU STOP? 57 00:02:35,989 --> 00:02:37,858 - SMELL YOUR FATHER. 58 00:02:40,528 --> 00:02:41,862 WHAT DOES HE SMELL LIKE? 59 00:02:41,895 --> 00:02:43,297 - A SUMMER BREEZE? 60 00:02:43,331 --> 00:02:44,632 - OH! 61 00:02:44,665 --> 00:02:46,500 MOTHBALLS. 62 00:02:46,534 --> 00:02:48,336 HE PULLED THIS OLD JACKET OUT OF THE ATTIC 63 00:02:48,369 --> 00:02:50,338 WITHOUT TAKING IT TO THE CLEANERS FIRST. 64 00:02:50,371 --> 00:02:51,939 OOH, THAT SMELL MAKES ME SICK. 65 00:02:51,972 --> 00:02:53,741 - OH, RELAX. 66 00:02:53,774 --> 00:02:55,243 IF MOTHBALLS WERE BAD FOR PEOPLE, 67 00:02:55,276 --> 00:02:57,611 THEY'D CALL THEM PEOPLEBALLS. 68 00:02:59,680 --> 00:03:01,949 - OH, DEBRA, HOW NICE. 69 00:03:01,982 --> 00:03:04,685 YOU'RE GIVING SEWING ANOTHER TRY. 70 00:03:04,718 --> 00:03:08,456 - THIS IS ALLY'S THANKSGIVING COSTUME FOR SCHOOL. 71 00:03:08,489 --> 00:03:09,790 - MY DAUGHTER IS A YAM. 72 00:03:09,823 --> 00:03:11,525 - OH! 73 00:03:11,559 --> 00:03:12,893 MAYBE SHE'LL PUT ON A LITTLE SHOW FOR US 74 00:03:12,926 --> 00:03:14,795 AFTER OUR THANKSGIVING DINNER. 75 00:03:14,828 --> 00:03:16,230 - OH, WELL, LISTEN, 76 00:03:16,264 --> 00:03:17,731 NOW THAT YOU'VE MENTIONED IT, MARIE, 77 00:03:17,765 --> 00:03:19,600 I WAS THINKING THAT MAYBE WE COULD 78 00:03:19,633 --> 00:03:21,669 HAVE THANKSGIVING HERE THIS YEAR. 79 00:03:21,702 --> 00:03:23,971 - THAT'S SILLY. 80 00:03:24,004 --> 00:03:26,006 I MEAN, WHY GO TO ALL THAT TROUBLE? 81 00:03:26,039 --> 00:03:28,576 - IT IS KIND OF SILLY. - RAY. 82 00:03:28,609 --> 00:03:31,745 - LISTEN, MA, DEBRA WANTS TO TRY IT THIS YEAR, 83 00:03:31,779 --> 00:03:33,614 AND I DO TOO, SINCE 84 00:03:33,647 --> 00:03:36,917 I SLEEP OVER HERE NOW. 85 00:03:36,950 --> 00:03:41,389 - YEAH, BUT--BUT YOU SPENT LAST YEAR AT DEBRA'S PARENTS'. 86 00:03:41,422 --> 00:03:42,923 - WELL, I WAS THINKING WE COULD DO IT HERE THIS YEAR, 87 00:03:42,956 --> 00:03:44,625 AND THEN NEXT YEAR YOU COULD DO IT, 88 00:03:44,658 --> 00:03:46,294 AND THEN MY PARENTS. 89 00:03:46,327 --> 00:03:48,729 I KIND OF WANT TO JUST START MY OWN TRADITION. 90 00:03:48,762 --> 00:03:50,631 - OH, THAT'S FINE. 91 00:03:50,664 --> 00:03:52,032 THAT'S JUST FINE. 92 00:03:52,065 --> 00:03:53,301 [chuckles] 93 00:03:53,334 --> 00:03:54,502 I WAS JUST WONDERING 94 00:03:54,535 --> 00:03:56,937 WHY YOU'RE PULLING THAT BALONEY ON MY YEAR. 95 00:03:56,970 --> 00:03:58,772 - MA, DEBRA'S JUST TRYING 96 00:03:58,806 --> 00:04:00,574 TO GET INTO THE ROTATION; THAT'S ALL. 97 00:04:00,608 --> 00:04:02,743 - THIS IS OUR YEAR. 98 00:04:02,776 --> 00:04:04,612 FRANK, SAY SOMETHING. 99 00:04:04,645 --> 00:04:07,481 - WHO CARES? 100 00:04:07,515 --> 00:04:09,883 JUST SO LONG AS I GET MY FAVORITE PIECE OF THE TURKEY, 101 00:04:09,917 --> 00:04:12,786 THE LAST PART OVER THE FENCE, 102 00:04:12,820 --> 00:04:13,987 THE CABOOSE. 103 00:04:15,923 --> 00:04:18,659 - WELL, FRANK, YOU HAVE A CHOICE. 104 00:04:18,692 --> 00:04:21,595 YOU CAN EITHER HAVE IT HERE OR AT HOME WITH ME, 105 00:04:21,629 --> 00:04:24,765 WHERE I WILL BE PREPARING MY USUAL THANKSGIVING FEAST. 106 00:04:24,798 --> 00:04:26,934 - OH, F-FEAST. 107 00:04:26,967 --> 00:04:28,302 - YOU HEARD ME. 108 00:04:28,336 --> 00:04:30,638 - AW. SHE'S MAKING A FEAST. 109 00:04:30,671 --> 00:04:34,942 - WELL, I COULD EAT HERE AND THERE. 110 00:04:34,975 --> 00:04:38,011 THEN I'D GET TWO CABOOSES. 111 00:04:41,982 --> 00:04:43,484 - HONEY, HOW BIG IS A BIG TURKEY? 112 00:04:43,517 --> 00:04:45,686 - ABOUT 18 POUNDS. 113 00:04:45,719 --> 00:04:48,689 - 18 POUNDS. 114 00:04:48,722 --> 00:04:50,758 OH, I THINK THIS ONE IS JUST ENOUGH. 115 00:04:50,791 --> 00:04:52,793 - PUT HIM DOWN. 116 00:04:54,127 --> 00:04:57,331 - OOH. THIS ONE IS SELF-BASTING. 117 00:05:00,601 --> 00:05:02,836 YOU KNOW, MAYBE THIS WILL BE A GOOD THANKSGIVING, HUH, 118 00:05:02,870 --> 00:05:04,538 JUST US AND THE KIDS. 119 00:05:04,572 --> 00:05:06,807 YOU COOK, AND I'LL WATCH FOOTBALL 120 00:05:06,840 --> 00:05:09,643 WITH MY PANTS OPEN ALL DAY. 121 00:05:09,677 --> 00:05:12,413 - YOU KNOW, MY DAD DOESN'T REALLY LIKE FOOTBALL, RAY. 122 00:05:12,446 --> 00:05:15,349 - YOUR PARENTS ARE COMING? - YEAH. 123 00:05:15,383 --> 00:05:17,084 AND THEY'RE REALLY HAPPY WE'RE HAVING THANKSGIVING HERE. 124 00:05:17,117 --> 00:05:19,353 - OH, WE JUST GOT RID OF TWO PARENTS. 125 00:05:19,387 --> 00:05:20,954 WHAT ARE YOU BRINGING TWO MORE IN? 126 00:05:20,988 --> 00:05:22,823 - YOUR PARENTS SHOULD REALLY BE HERE TOO, YOU KNOW? 127 00:05:22,856 --> 00:05:24,992 - AH, JUST--THAT MAKES FOUR PARENTS. 128 00:05:25,025 --> 00:05:26,694 YOU'RE GOING BACKWARDS. 129 00:05:26,727 --> 00:05:28,496 - COME ON, RAY. 130 00:05:28,529 --> 00:05:29,897 I MEAN, IT'S NOT A REAL THANKSGIVING 131 00:05:29,930 --> 00:05:31,765 UNLESS THE WHOLE FAMILY'S HERE. 132 00:05:31,799 --> 00:05:33,901 IT WOULD BE LIKE WHEN THE RUSSIANS BOYCOTTED THE OLYMPICS. 133 00:05:33,934 --> 00:05:36,003 YOU KNOW, IT DIMINISHED THE WHOLE EVENT. 134 00:05:36,036 --> 00:05:38,539 - YEAH, WELL, YOU'RE FORGETTING SOMETHING VERY IMPORTANT. 135 00:05:38,572 --> 00:05:40,541 WHEN THE RUSSIANS DIDN'T COME, 136 00:05:40,574 --> 00:05:42,610 WE WON EVERYTHING. 137 00:05:44,412 --> 00:05:45,813 - I REALLY WANT YOUR PARENTS HERE, RAY. 138 00:05:45,846 --> 00:05:47,114 - WHY? COME ON. 139 00:05:47,147 --> 00:05:48,482 YOU'RE GOING TO HATE IT IF THEY COME. 140 00:05:48,516 --> 00:05:49,883 THE FIRST THING MY FATHER'S GOING TO DO 141 00:05:49,917 --> 00:05:51,885 IS GRAB YOUR TURKEY'S BUTT, HUH? 142 00:05:51,919 --> 00:05:53,721 THAT'S NOT PRETTY. 143 00:05:53,754 --> 00:05:55,022 - WELL, THAT'S NOT GOING TO HAPPEN, 144 00:05:55,055 --> 00:05:58,058 BECAUSE THIS YEAR, INSTEAD OF TURKEY, I WAS-- 145 00:05:58,091 --> 00:05:59,593 - WHOA, HO, HO. 146 00:05:59,627 --> 00:06:00,861 WHOA. WAIT, I'M SORRY. 147 00:06:00,894 --> 00:06:03,731 DID YOU SAY "INSTEAD OF TURKEY"? 148 00:06:03,764 --> 00:06:05,866 - YEAH, I WAS THINKING I WOULD COOK UP 149 00:06:05,899 --> 00:06:08,836 THIS NICE, BIG, FRESH FISH. 150 00:06:17,945 --> 00:06:20,548 - FISH. 151 00:06:20,581 --> 00:06:22,550 - YEAH, FISH. 152 00:06:22,583 --> 00:06:23,684 - FISH... 153 00:06:23,717 --> 00:06:26,186 ON THANKSGIVING. 154 00:06:26,219 --> 00:06:28,489 - YEAH, I MEAN, IT'S REALLY BETTER FOR YOU, YOU KNOW? 155 00:06:28,522 --> 00:06:32,059 I WAS GOING TO DO THIS LOVELY STRIPED BASS. 156 00:06:32,092 --> 00:06:33,827 - YEAH, BUT A STRIPED BASS IS... 157 00:06:33,861 --> 00:06:35,796 A FISH! 158 00:06:37,765 --> 00:06:39,900 - MISS McCARTHY TOLD US THAT THEY HAD FISH 159 00:06:39,933 --> 00:06:41,735 AT THE FIRST THANKSGIVING. 160 00:06:41,769 --> 00:06:43,203 - SEE? 161 00:06:43,236 --> 00:06:45,506 - WELL, PEOPLE WERE STUPID THEN, SWEETIE. 162 00:06:46,874 --> 00:06:48,509 COME ON, FISH? 163 00:06:48,542 --> 00:06:49,610 - I MEAN, COME ON. 164 00:06:49,643 --> 00:06:50,978 WE WANT TO START OUR OWN TRADITION, 165 00:06:51,011 --> 00:06:52,746 AND WE ALL LIKE FISH, 166 00:06:52,780 --> 00:06:55,883 AND ALLY WANTS IT TO BE LIKE THE FIRST THANKSGIVING. 167 00:06:55,916 --> 00:06:58,018 - WHY DON'T WE HAVE SOME SMALLPOX TOO, THEN? 168 00:06:58,051 --> 00:07:00,754 COME ON. WHAT ARE YOU, CRAZY? 169 00:07:00,788 --> 00:07:03,123 HOW CAN--YOU WANT ME TO CONVINCE MY PARENTS TO COME OVER HERE, 170 00:07:03,156 --> 00:07:09,563 AND MY BIG SALES PITCH IS "MMM, MMM, FISH." 171 00:07:09,597 --> 00:07:11,632 - BUT, SEE, IT MAKES SENSE, RAY, 172 00:07:11,665 --> 00:07:14,167 BECAUSE, YOU KNOW, YOUR MOM MAKES THIS GREAT TURKEY. 173 00:07:14,201 --> 00:07:15,469 THAT'S HER SPECIALTY. 174 00:07:15,503 --> 00:07:17,538 - RIGHT, AND YOU DO A GREAT FISH, 175 00:07:17,571 --> 00:07:21,942 BUT NOT ON TURKEY DAY. 176 00:07:21,975 --> 00:07:23,877 PLEASE. 177 00:07:23,911 --> 00:07:26,780 TRY THAT ON A DAY WHERE THERE'S LESS PRESSURE. 178 00:07:26,814 --> 00:07:29,683 PEARL HARBOR DAY. 179 00:07:29,717 --> 00:07:33,186 YEAH, THERE'S A GOOD HOLIDAY FOR SURPRISES. 180 00:07:33,220 --> 00:07:35,255 WELL, YOU GOT YOUR WISH. - OKAY. 181 00:07:35,288 --> 00:07:37,224 - YEAH, WE'RE HAVING THANKSGIVING HERE, 182 00:07:37,257 --> 00:07:38,959 AND THE RUSSIANS ARE COMING. 183 00:07:38,992 --> 00:07:41,495 - AH, GREAT. THAT'S WHAT I WANTED. 184 00:07:41,529 --> 00:07:42,763 HERE. - REALLY? 185 00:07:42,796 --> 00:07:44,197 WE'LL SEE. 186 00:07:44,231 --> 00:07:45,633 - WHAT DO YOU MEAN? 187 00:07:45,666 --> 00:07:47,067 - WELL, BECAUSE MY MOM NOW SAID 188 00:07:47,100 --> 00:07:48,702 SHE'D BE HAPPY TO COME. 189 00:07:48,736 --> 00:07:50,871 - SO WHAT'S WRONG WITH HER BEING HAPPY? 190 00:07:50,904 --> 00:07:52,540 - JUST THINK ABOUT IT. 191 00:07:52,573 --> 00:07:54,041 THIS WAS SUPPOSED TO BE HER YEAR, RIGHT? 192 00:07:54,074 --> 00:07:55,743 THE YEAR THAT YOU'RE NOW TAKING. 193 00:07:55,776 --> 00:07:56,910 AND EVERYBODY'S GOING TO BE COMING HERE, 194 00:07:56,944 --> 00:07:58,712 AND SHE NOW KNOWS 195 00:07:58,746 --> 00:08:01,649 THAT THE STAR OF YOUR SHOW IS A FISH. 196 00:08:03,551 --> 00:08:05,686 THAT MAKES HER VERY HAPPY. 197 00:08:05,719 --> 00:08:07,955 - COME ON; WHAT ARE YOU SAYING? 198 00:08:07,988 --> 00:08:09,189 THAT YOUR MOTHER'S LOOKING FORWARD 199 00:08:09,222 --> 00:08:11,659 TO MY DINNER BEING A FLOP? 200 00:08:11,692 --> 00:08:12,960 - I'M NOT SAYING SHE WANTS IT TO BE A FLOP, 201 00:08:12,993 --> 00:08:14,962 BUT SHE DOESN'T WANT IT TO BE BETTER THAN HERS. 202 00:08:14,995 --> 00:08:17,230 HOW'S THAT GOING TO LOOK TO AUNT EMMA AND UNCLE MEL? 203 00:08:17,264 --> 00:08:19,733 - WHOA, WHOA, WHOA, WHOA, WHOA. 204 00:08:19,767 --> 00:08:21,869 EMMA AND MEL ARE COMING HERE? 205 00:08:21,902 --> 00:08:24,638 - YEAH, YEAH, SHE HAD ALREADY INVITED THEM TO HER HOUSE. 206 00:08:24,672 --> 00:08:28,742 - AND SHE'S HAPPY MORE PEOPLE ARE COMING 207 00:08:28,776 --> 00:08:31,745 SO THERE'LL BE WITNESSES WHEN I FAIL. 208 00:08:31,779 --> 00:08:32,946 - THAT'S WHAT I'M THINKING. 209 00:08:32,980 --> 00:08:34,281 - OH, MY GOD. 210 00:08:34,314 --> 00:08:35,716 THIS IS A TRAP. IT'S A-- 211 00:08:35,749 --> 00:08:37,585 OH, GOD, EMMA AND MEL. 212 00:08:37,618 --> 00:08:39,987 OH, THAT EMMA'S SO WEIRD, AND MEL IS MEAN. 213 00:08:40,020 --> 00:08:41,722 - AND WEIRD. - YEAH. 214 00:08:41,755 --> 00:08:43,223 - LISTEN, HERE'S AN IDEA. 215 00:08:43,256 --> 00:08:45,759 JUST CANCEL THE FISH. GO WITH THE TURKEY. 216 00:08:45,793 --> 00:08:47,194 THEN EVERYTHING CAN STILL BE ALL RIGHT. 217 00:08:47,227 --> 00:08:49,563 - I CAN'T COMPETE WITH YOUR MOTHER'S TURKEY, RAY. 218 00:08:49,597 --> 00:08:52,566 THE WOMAN HAS GIBLETS IN HER BLOOD. 219 00:08:52,600 --> 00:08:54,101 - WELL, THEN LET'S JUST RUN RIGHT NOW. 220 00:08:54,134 --> 00:08:56,704 COME ON; ONE CALL TO THE WITNESS PROTECTION PROGRAM, 221 00:08:56,737 --> 00:08:58,305 AND WE'RE STEVE AND PHYLLIS GOLDENBERG 222 00:08:58,338 --> 00:09:00,641 OF TEMPE, ARIZONA. 223 00:09:00,674 --> 00:09:02,142 - NO. NO, NO, NO, NO. 224 00:09:02,175 --> 00:09:04,111 I'M GOING TO RISE TO THE CHALLENGE. 225 00:09:04,144 --> 00:09:05,879 YOUR MOTHER'S GOING TO BE LOOKING FOR ANY FLAW, 226 00:09:05,913 --> 00:09:07,815 AND I'M GOING TO MAKE SURE-- WE'RE GOING TO MAKE SURE 227 00:09:07,848 --> 00:09:09,082 SHE DOESN'T FIND ONE. 228 00:09:09,116 --> 00:09:10,017 - WE? HO. - YES, WE. 229 00:09:10,050 --> 00:09:11,351 YOU'RE GOING TO HELP ME. 230 00:09:11,384 --> 00:09:12,820 - YEAH, BUT-- - NO, NO, NO. 231 00:09:12,853 --> 00:09:14,922 THIS WHOLE HOUSE HAS TO BE SPOTLESS, 232 00:09:14,955 --> 00:09:16,990 AND THE MEAL HAS TO BE MADE ENTIRELY FROM SCRATCH. 233 00:09:17,024 --> 00:09:20,293 - SCRATCH? OH, SCRATCH. SCRATCH! 234 00:09:20,327 --> 00:09:22,262 THAT DOESN'T LEAVE TIME FOR FOOTBALL. 235 00:09:22,295 --> 00:09:23,964 - THERE IS NO TIME FOR FOOTBALL. 236 00:09:23,997 --> 00:09:25,365 THIS HAS TO BE THE PERFECT THANKSGIVING. 237 00:09:25,398 --> 00:09:27,935 COME ON. LET'S GO. 238 00:09:27,968 --> 00:09:30,671 - STUPID PILGRIMS. 239 00:09:37,811 --> 00:09:39,046 ALL RIGHT, I GOT IT, 240 00:09:39,079 --> 00:09:42,115 THE LAST BOX OF BAKING POWDER. 241 00:09:42,149 --> 00:09:43,884 I HAD TO FIGHT TWO OLD LADIES TO GET IT. 242 00:09:43,917 --> 00:09:45,218 - REALLY? WHAT DID YOU DO? 243 00:09:45,252 --> 00:09:46,820 - NOTHING I'M PROUD OF. 244 00:09:46,854 --> 00:09:48,055 ALL RIGHT, CAN I WATCH FOOTBALL NOW? 245 00:09:48,088 --> 00:09:49,089 - NO, NO, NO, NO. I NEED YOU HERE. 246 00:09:49,122 --> 00:09:50,824 THIS IS NOT BAKING POWDER. 247 00:09:50,858 --> 00:09:52,993 RAY, THIS IS BAKING SODA. 248 00:09:53,026 --> 00:09:54,795 - ALL RIGHT, IT'S STILL A BAKING THING. 249 00:09:54,828 --> 00:09:57,397 - GREAT. NOW WE'RE NOT GOING TO HAVE ANY BISCUITS. 250 00:09:57,430 --> 00:09:59,232 I'M SURE YOUR MOM'S GOING TO TAKE NOTICE OF THAT. 251 00:09:59,266 --> 00:10:00,634 - ALL RIGHT, WHAT DO YOU WANT ME TO DO? 252 00:10:00,668 --> 00:10:02,836 - LISTEN, JUST CUT THOSE RADISHES, OKAY? 253 00:10:02,870 --> 00:10:04,905 MAKE THEM INTO LITTLE ROSES. 254 00:10:04,938 --> 00:10:07,140 - WHO AM I, MERLIN? 255 00:10:07,174 --> 00:10:08,842 COME ON; GIVE ME SOMETHING A MAN CAN DO. 256 00:10:08,876 --> 00:10:10,844 LET ME SMASH WALNUTS. 257 00:10:10,878 --> 00:10:12,412 [timer dings] OH, THAT'S THE THIRD QUARTER. 258 00:10:12,445 --> 00:10:14,414 - NO, THAT'S THE APPLE BROWN BETTY. COME ON. 259 00:10:14,447 --> 00:10:15,916 - I'M GOING TO BE THE ONLY SPORTSWRITER 260 00:10:15,949 --> 00:10:17,250 WHO DOESN'T GET TO WATCH THE GAME. 261 00:10:17,284 --> 00:10:20,287 - LISTEN, JUST STIR THOSE ONIONS, WOULD YOU? 262 00:10:20,320 --> 00:10:22,022 THAT'S TOO FAST! THAT'S TOO FAST. 263 00:10:22,055 --> 00:10:23,323 YOU'RE CRUSHING THE SKINS! 264 00:10:23,356 --> 00:10:24,658 - AH. - WHAT? WHAT? 265 00:10:24,692 --> 00:10:26,059 - YOU'RE REMINDING ME THE COWBOYS 266 00:10:26,093 --> 00:10:27,360 ARE CRUSHING THE 'SKINS RIGHT NOW. 267 00:10:27,394 --> 00:10:28,829 [timer dings] 268 00:10:28,862 --> 00:10:30,030 - OH, NICE TRY. COME BACK HERE. 269 00:10:30,063 --> 00:10:30,964 NOW, WAIT, THAT'S NOT THE CARROTS, 270 00:10:30,998 --> 00:10:31,965 'CAUSE I CHECKED THOSE. 271 00:10:31,999 --> 00:10:33,166 CREAMED ONIONS? NO. 272 00:10:33,200 --> 00:10:34,401 FISH IS SCALED. 273 00:10:34,434 --> 00:10:35,635 JELL-O MOLD IS SET. 274 00:10:37,771 --> 00:10:38,872 OH, MY GOD. 275 00:10:38,906 --> 00:10:40,440 - WHAT? WHAT? 276 00:10:40,473 --> 00:10:41,942 - OH, MY GOD, THE SQUASH. 277 00:10:41,975 --> 00:10:43,143 - WHAT? WHAT SQUASH? 278 00:10:43,176 --> 00:10:44,211 - THE SQUASH. I FORGOT THE SQUASH. 279 00:10:44,244 --> 00:10:45,378 - ALL RIGHT, OKAY. SO WHAT? 280 00:10:45,412 --> 00:10:47,014 - SO WHAT? IT'S THE SQUASH, RAY. 281 00:10:47,047 --> 00:10:49,282 IT'S MY ONLY YELLOW. 282 00:10:49,316 --> 00:10:50,918 WHERE DID I PUT IT? 283 00:10:50,951 --> 00:10:51,852 - I DON'T KNOW. I DON'T KNOW. 284 00:10:51,885 --> 00:10:52,886 - WELL, THINK, RAY. COME ON. 285 00:10:52,920 --> 00:10:54,087 - I WASN'T HERE. 286 00:10:54,121 --> 00:10:56,790 I WAS OUT NOT GETTING BAKING POWDER. 287 00:10:56,824 --> 00:10:58,425 - I NEED THAT SQUASH. 288 00:10:58,458 --> 00:11:01,161 - ARE YOU AS TURNED ON AS I AM RIGHT NOW? 289 00:11:01,194 --> 00:11:04,397 - RAY, I NEED THE SQUASH. 290 00:11:04,431 --> 00:11:05,465 - IS THAT A YES? - RAY! 291 00:11:05,498 --> 00:11:06,867 - ALL RIGHT. 292 00:11:06,900 --> 00:11:09,102 I DON'T KNOW WHERE IT IS. 293 00:11:09,136 --> 00:11:10,904 HERE. COULD THIS GOOPY THING BE IT? 294 00:11:10,938 --> 00:11:12,740 - OH, YES. [laughs] - OKAY. 295 00:11:12,773 --> 00:11:14,174 - GOOD. THAT'S IT. 296 00:11:14,207 --> 00:11:15,776 - GOOD. CALM DOWN. 297 00:11:15,809 --> 00:11:16,810 - [crying] - OH, NO. 298 00:11:16,844 --> 00:11:19,479 NO. NO. 299 00:11:19,512 --> 00:11:21,214 COME ON, RELAX. STOP. 300 00:11:21,248 --> 00:11:23,250 - [sobbing] I'M SORRY. 301 00:11:23,283 --> 00:11:25,786 - STOP; YOU'RE REACTING TO MISSING SQUASH 302 00:11:25,819 --> 00:11:29,322 LIKE THE TIME WE LEFT ALLY AT THE MALL. 303 00:11:29,356 --> 00:11:31,091 - I THINK I'M JUST A LITTLE OVERWHELMED. 304 00:11:31,124 --> 00:11:32,893 - I KNOW. I SEE THAT. 305 00:11:32,926 --> 00:11:34,427 IT'S GOING TO BE ALL RIGHT. EVERYTHING'S GOING TO BE FINE. 306 00:11:34,461 --> 00:11:36,029 - LISTEN, COULD YOU JUST RUN A LOAD OF DISHES? 307 00:11:36,063 --> 00:11:37,464 - I'LL DO WHATEVER YOU WANT. 308 00:11:37,497 --> 00:11:39,266 - OKAY. I'M GOING TO CHANGE GEOFFREY. 309 00:11:39,299 --> 00:11:41,268 - ALL RIGHT, BUT RELAX, THOUGH, REALLY. 310 00:11:41,301 --> 00:11:43,804 YOU-- YOU'RE OUT OF CONTROL HERE. 311 00:11:43,837 --> 00:11:44,772 EVERYTHING'S GOING TO BE FINE. 312 00:11:44,805 --> 00:11:46,373 - OKAY. 313 00:11:46,406 --> 00:11:47,174 - ALL RIGHT? YOU'RE DOING GOOD. 314 00:11:47,207 --> 00:11:48,475 - THANKS. - I'M GOING TO HELP YOU. 315 00:11:48,508 --> 00:11:50,110 - OKAY. 316 00:11:50,143 --> 00:11:52,412 - OKAY. BE CAREFUL, ALL RIGHT? 317 00:12:00,287 --> 00:12:03,791 OKAY. NOW IT'S THANKSGIVING. 318 00:12:03,824 --> 00:12:05,525 THIS IS FOOTBALL. 319 00:12:05,558 --> 00:12:08,328 YOUR MOTHER DOESN'T WANT ME TO WATCH FOOTBALL TODAY. 320 00:12:08,361 --> 00:12:10,197 WHAT'S THAT ALL ABOUT? 321 00:12:10,230 --> 00:12:14,467 YOU MIGHT SAY, "HEY, DADDY, THAT'S BEING SNEAKY." 322 00:12:14,501 --> 00:12:16,904 THAT'S WHY I'M GLAD YOU CAN'T TALK YET. 323 00:12:18,972 --> 00:12:22,075 OH! BEAUTIFUL CATCH. 324 00:12:22,109 --> 00:12:24,177 OH, WE LIVE IN A GREAT COUNTRY. 325 00:12:26,146 --> 00:12:27,347 INCLUDING-- LOOK AT THIS, MICHAEL-- 326 00:12:27,380 --> 00:12:29,249 CHEERLEADERS. 327 00:12:29,282 --> 00:12:32,019 IT'S EVERYTHING YOU COULD WANT IN ONE SHOW. 328 00:12:33,987 --> 00:12:36,023 SEE, DALLAS IS WINNING. 329 00:12:36,056 --> 00:12:37,858 I WANT WASHINGTON TO WIN. 330 00:12:37,891 --> 00:12:39,492 OR DALLAS CAN WIN 331 00:12:39,526 --> 00:12:41,061 AS LONG AS IT'S NOT BY MORE THAN SEVEN POINTS, 332 00:12:41,094 --> 00:12:45,465 AND THEN DALLAS DOESN'T COVER THE SPREAD. 333 00:12:45,498 --> 00:12:48,368 THEN DADDY'S FRIEND BERNIE OWES DADDY $20. 334 00:12:50,203 --> 00:12:51,939 KEEP YOUR EYE ON THE BALL. 335 00:12:51,972 --> 00:12:53,340 NOW, HOW DID YOU DROP THAT? 336 00:12:53,373 --> 00:12:55,408 YOU SEE, MICHAEL, YOU GOT TO REMEMBER, 337 00:12:55,442 --> 00:12:58,378 ALWAYS KEEP YOUR EYE ON THE BALL. 338 00:13:03,316 --> 00:13:07,955 - OKAY, I FEEL MUCH BETTER NOW. 339 00:13:07,988 --> 00:13:09,322 - I WAS JUST CHECKING THE SQUASH. 340 00:13:09,356 --> 00:13:11,058 - YEAH? - LOOKS DYNAMITE. 341 00:13:11,091 --> 00:13:12,559 - OH, GOOD. 342 00:13:12,592 --> 00:13:16,263 - OKAY, NOW ALL I GOT TO DO IS DRAIN THE POTATOES, 343 00:13:16,296 --> 00:13:17,965 FINISH MY RELISH TRAY, 344 00:13:17,998 --> 00:13:18,966 AND GET MY FISH GO-- 345 00:13:18,999 --> 00:13:20,367 - OKAY. 346 00:13:20,400 --> 00:13:22,135 - WHERE'S THE FISH? 347 00:13:22,169 --> 00:13:24,137 [thumping from dishwasher] 348 00:13:32,245 --> 00:13:33,947 RAY, WHERE'S THE FISH? 349 00:13:33,981 --> 00:13:36,149 - YOU KNOW, I THINK MICHAEL MIGHT NEED CHANGING. 350 00:13:36,183 --> 00:13:37,217 WHY DON'T YOU CHANGE HIM? 351 00:13:37,250 --> 00:13:38,852 - NO, MICHAEL'S FINE. 352 00:13:38,886 --> 00:13:41,054 - SOMEBODY NEEDS CHANGING HERE. 353 00:13:43,056 --> 00:13:44,925 - WHERE'S THE FISH? 354 00:13:44,958 --> 00:13:47,294 - YOU KNOW WHAT? I THINK I PUT IT IN THE FRIDGE. 355 00:13:47,327 --> 00:13:50,163 - WHAT? WHAT ARE YOU TRYING TO DO, RAY? 356 00:13:50,197 --> 00:13:52,332 IT'S NOT IN HERE. 357 00:13:54,634 --> 00:13:55,936 - OH, LOOK. 358 00:13:55,969 --> 00:13:57,337 LOOK. 359 00:13:57,370 --> 00:13:59,572 HERE IT IS RIGHT HERE. 360 00:14:04,544 --> 00:14:08,481 - YOU PUT MY FISH IN THE DISHWASHER? 361 00:14:08,515 --> 00:14:10,951 - HEY, HEY, THERE'S GOOD NEWS. 362 00:14:10,984 --> 00:14:13,186 YOU KNOW, LIKE USUAL, I FORGOT TO PUT DETERGENT IN. 363 00:14:13,220 --> 00:14:14,587 OKAY? ALL RIGHT? 364 00:14:14,621 --> 00:14:16,890 SEE, THE STUPIDITY FINALLY PAID OFF. 365 00:14:16,924 --> 00:14:18,992 [doorbell rings] 366 00:14:19,026 --> 00:14:20,560 OH, THE GUESTS ARE ARRIVING. 367 00:14:20,593 --> 00:14:22,029 THEY'RE HERE. 368 00:14:22,062 --> 00:14:23,330 OKAY. 369 00:14:23,363 --> 00:14:24,998 I WASHED. YOU DRY. 370 00:14:30,570 --> 00:14:32,305 - YOU'RE A BEAUTIFUL YAM, HONEY. 371 00:14:32,339 --> 00:14:34,441 - MMM. YUM, YUM. 372 00:14:34,474 --> 00:14:36,676 OH, SWEETIE, I CAN'T WAIT TO DIG IN. 373 00:14:36,709 --> 00:14:39,479 YOUR BASS SMELLS WONDERFUL. 374 00:14:39,512 --> 00:14:42,015 - THANK YOU, MOM. 375 00:14:42,049 --> 00:14:43,016 - JUST GOT TO KNOW HOW TO CLEAN IT. 376 00:14:43,050 --> 00:14:45,018 - YES. 377 00:14:45,052 --> 00:14:46,486 LISTEN, RAY, YOU HAVE BEEN A WONDERFUL HELP, 378 00:14:46,519 --> 00:14:48,255 BUT NOW THAT MY MOM'S HERE, 379 00:14:48,288 --> 00:14:49,622 WHY DON'T YOU GO WATCH THE GAME WITH MY DAD? 380 00:14:49,656 --> 00:14:50,690 - OKAY. ALL RIGHT. 381 00:14:50,723 --> 00:14:53,961 YOU SURE YOU-- OKAY. ALL RIGHT. 382 00:14:53,994 --> 00:14:55,395 ALL RIGHT, WARREN, WHAT'S THE SCORE? 383 00:14:55,428 --> 00:14:57,330 HEY, YOU'RE WATCHING SOCCER? 384 00:14:57,364 --> 00:15:00,500 - URUGUAY VERSUS VENEZUELA. 385 00:15:00,533 --> 00:15:04,037 - DID ANYBODY SCORE WHILE I WAS CROSSING THE STREET? 386 00:15:04,071 --> 00:15:08,208 WHAT THE HELL IS THIS CRAP? 387 00:15:08,241 --> 00:15:10,110 - THAT'S SOCCER. 388 00:15:10,143 --> 00:15:11,711 FRANK, ONLY IN AMERICA 389 00:15:11,744 --> 00:15:15,348 IS FOOTBALL THE GAME THAT YOU'RE FAMILIAR WITH. 390 00:15:15,382 --> 00:15:17,684 IN MANY COUNTRIES, WHEN PEOPLE REFER 391 00:15:17,717 --> 00:15:21,388 TO "FUTBOL," THEY ACTUALLY MEAN SOCCER. 392 00:15:26,426 --> 00:15:29,929 - IN MANY COUNTRIES, PEOPLE EAT CATS. 393 00:15:32,032 --> 00:15:33,666 HIT HIM! HIT HIM! 394 00:15:33,700 --> 00:15:36,503 - WOULD YOU BOYS MIND IF I PUT THE PARADE ON? 395 00:15:36,536 --> 00:15:39,072 I SIMPLY HAVE TO SEE IT THIS YEAR. 396 00:15:39,106 --> 00:15:41,274 SAVION GLOVER'S DOING A TAP MEDLEY 397 00:15:41,308 --> 00:15:46,013 FROM "BRING IN 'DA NOISE, BRING IN 'DA FUNK." 398 00:15:46,046 --> 00:15:50,083 - BRING IN DA STRAITJACKETS. 399 00:15:50,117 --> 00:15:51,751 - HEY, YOU CAN GO WATCH THE GAME IN OUR ROOM. 400 00:15:51,784 --> 00:15:53,420 - THAT SCREEN'S TOO SMALL. 401 00:15:53,453 --> 00:15:55,989 - GO--YOU CAN TAKE YOUR SHOES OFF AND LIE ON OUR BED. 402 00:15:56,023 --> 00:15:57,290 - OH, THAT'S TRUE. THAT'S TRUE. 403 00:15:57,324 --> 00:15:59,359 - ON IT. ON THE BED, DAD, NOT IN IT. 404 00:15:59,392 --> 00:16:01,528 [doorbell rings] 405 00:16:01,561 --> 00:16:03,330 OH, HI, EMMA. 406 00:16:03,363 --> 00:16:04,431 OH, YOU BROUGHT YOUR DOG. 407 00:16:04,464 --> 00:16:06,133 - MONTY WOULD SAY HELLO, 408 00:16:06,166 --> 00:16:08,468 BUT HE'S GOT A SOUR STOMACH. 409 00:16:08,501 --> 00:16:10,470 - AW. - YOU GOT ANY FLAT SODA? 410 00:16:10,503 --> 00:16:12,672 - YEAH. 411 00:16:12,705 --> 00:16:16,543 - I'LL LET THE GAS OUT OF SOME GINGER ALE. 412 00:16:16,576 --> 00:16:18,011 - WHAT'S GOING ON? - NOTHING. 413 00:16:18,045 --> 00:16:19,546 UH, EMMA BROUGHT HER DOG. 414 00:16:19,579 --> 00:16:21,048 - YOU KNOW, THE FISH IS GOING TO BE READY 415 00:16:21,081 --> 00:16:22,149 IN TEN MINUTES. 416 00:16:22,182 --> 00:16:23,316 WHERE ARE YOUR FOLKS? 417 00:16:23,350 --> 00:16:24,551 - WELL, MY MOM'S NOT HERE YET, 418 00:16:24,584 --> 00:16:27,587 BUT, HEY, GOOD NEWS; DAD'S IN OUR BED. 419 00:16:27,620 --> 00:16:29,789 - YOU KNOW YOUR MOM'S DOING THIS ON PURPOSE, DON'T YOU? 420 00:16:29,822 --> 00:16:31,391 YEAH, SHE'S TRYING TO THROW MY TIMING OFF. 421 00:16:31,424 --> 00:16:32,525 SHE WANTS MY FISH TO BE 422 00:16:32,559 --> 00:16:35,595 A BIG DRIED-OUT PIECE OF BASS JERKY. 423 00:16:35,628 --> 00:16:37,397 - YOU'RE NOT GOING TO CRY AGAIN, ARE YOU? 424 00:16:37,430 --> 00:16:38,731 - NO. - ALL RIGHT. STOP. 425 00:16:38,765 --> 00:16:40,267 [knocking at door] 426 00:16:40,300 --> 00:16:42,369 EVERYTHING'S GOING FINE, OKAY? STOP WORRYING. 427 00:16:42,402 --> 00:16:43,703 EVERYTHING'S GOING TO BE ALL RIGHT. 428 00:16:43,736 --> 00:16:45,538 EVERYBODY'S GOING TO LOVE YOUR DINNER. 429 00:16:45,572 --> 00:16:47,174 - MY GOD, THAT FISH SMELL 430 00:16:47,207 --> 00:16:49,142 IS LIKE A-- A PUNCH IN THE FACE. 431 00:16:52,445 --> 00:16:53,713 - YOU REMEMBER GREAT UNCLE MEL 432 00:16:53,746 --> 00:16:55,548 AND HIS CHILDLIKE INNOCENCE. 433 00:16:55,582 --> 00:16:57,184 - HI, MEL. 434 00:16:57,217 --> 00:16:59,819 - UM, FRED AND BISHOP ARE PARKING THE CAR. 435 00:16:59,852 --> 00:17:01,354 - FRED AND BISHOP? 436 00:17:01,388 --> 00:17:03,523 - THEY'RE FRIENDS OF MINE. 437 00:17:03,556 --> 00:17:06,626 WE'RE NOT GAY. 438 00:17:06,659 --> 00:17:09,529 [dog growls] 439 00:17:09,562 --> 00:17:11,764 - I'LL GO SET TWO EXTRA PLATES. 440 00:17:11,798 --> 00:17:13,833 - OKAY, THAT'S THE SPIRIT. 441 00:17:13,866 --> 00:17:15,568 EVERYBODY'S WELCOME HERE. 442 00:17:15,602 --> 00:17:17,404 IT'S THANKSGIVING. 443 00:17:17,437 --> 00:17:19,639 - OH, HO. HAPPY THANKSGIVING. 444 00:17:19,672 --> 00:17:21,508 - MA, WHAT ARE YOU DOING? 445 00:17:21,541 --> 00:17:24,377 - WELL, DEBRA INSISTED ON COOKING A FISH, 446 00:17:24,411 --> 00:17:26,813 SO I COOKED A TURKEY IN CASE PEOPLE WANT TO... 447 00:17:26,846 --> 00:17:28,448 EAT. 448 00:17:30,517 --> 00:17:31,818 - THANKS FOR DOING THIS, RAYMOND. 449 00:17:31,851 --> 00:17:33,620 LOOKS LIKE YOU GOT THE WHOLE FAMILY TOGETHER. 450 00:17:33,653 --> 00:17:36,589 - YEAH, YEAH, IT'S DYSFUNCTION-PALOOZA. 451 00:17:38,391 --> 00:17:40,193 - OH, YOU KNOW WHAT I FORGOT? 452 00:17:40,227 --> 00:17:42,529 OVEN MITTS. 453 00:17:45,265 --> 00:17:47,100 - IS THAT A TURKEY? 454 00:17:47,134 --> 00:17:48,335 - A TURKEY? 455 00:17:48,368 --> 00:17:49,836 - WHAT ARE YOU TRYING TO DO? 456 00:17:49,869 --> 00:17:52,272 - OH, DON'T WORRY. IT'S JUST TO PICK AT. 457 00:17:52,305 --> 00:17:54,541 BUT IT'S VERY HEAVY. WHERE DO YOU WANT ME TO PUT IT? 458 00:17:54,574 --> 00:17:55,675 - I'LL TELL YOU WHERE YOU CAN PUT IT. 459 00:17:55,708 --> 00:17:57,677 - RIGHT--IT GOES HERE. 460 00:17:57,710 --> 00:17:59,679 PUT IT ON THE TABLE, 461 00:17:59,712 --> 00:18:01,381 RIGHT NEXT TO OUR BEAUTIFUL FISH. 462 00:18:01,414 --> 00:18:03,150 - BIGGER AND BIGGER. 463 00:18:03,183 --> 00:18:04,517 - HUH? 464 00:18:04,551 --> 00:18:07,554 FISH AND FOWL, FRIENDS. 465 00:18:07,587 --> 00:18:12,125 TOGETHER ON OUR TABLE OF THANKS. 466 00:18:12,159 --> 00:18:14,127 - OKAY, I THINK THIS IS EVERYTHING HERE. 467 00:18:14,161 --> 00:18:15,295 - HERE, HONEY. 468 00:18:15,328 --> 00:18:16,329 - BE CAREFUL, MOM; IT'S REALLY HEAVY. 469 00:18:16,363 --> 00:18:17,630 GOT IT? 470 00:18:17,664 --> 00:18:18,865 [people talking and laughing] 471 00:18:18,898 --> 00:18:20,867 OKAY, HEY, RAY, WHY DON'T YOU DO A TOAST, HUH? 472 00:18:20,900 --> 00:18:23,703 EVERYBODY, GET YOUR GLASS. GET YOUR GLASS. 473 00:18:23,736 --> 00:18:26,339 - I JUST WANT TO, UH-- I WANT TO THANK MY WIFE 474 00:18:26,373 --> 00:18:28,341 FOR WHIPPING UP THIS BEAUTIFUL DINNER 475 00:18:28,375 --> 00:18:30,177 ALL THE WAY FROM SCRATCH. 476 00:18:30,210 --> 00:18:31,744 - CHEERS, DARLING. 477 00:18:31,778 --> 00:18:34,214 - I WANT TO THANK EVERYBODY FOR COMING, 478 00:18:34,247 --> 00:18:36,916 AND WELCOME, WELCOME TO OUR HOME. 479 00:18:36,949 --> 00:18:40,220 - I'LL DRINK TO THAT. 480 00:18:40,253 --> 00:18:42,289 - LET'S EAT. 481 00:18:43,756 --> 00:18:45,258 - EVERYBODY, JUST GO AHEAD AND PASS IT... 482 00:18:45,292 --> 00:18:46,726 - WOULD YOU LIKE SOME YAMS? 483 00:18:46,759 --> 00:18:49,496 - NO, NO. I HATE YAMS. 484 00:18:49,529 --> 00:18:50,397 - YOU HATE YAMS? 485 00:18:50,430 --> 00:18:52,632 - AW, HONEY, HE DOESN'T HATE ALL YAMS. 486 00:18:52,665 --> 00:18:53,666 - YES, I DO. I HATE THEM. 487 00:18:53,700 --> 00:18:55,535 THEY'RE VERY BINDING. 488 00:18:57,870 --> 00:19:00,773 - HEY, THE FISH ISN'T SO BAD. 489 00:19:00,807 --> 00:19:03,543 - HONEY, YOUR FISH IS MAGNIFICENT. 490 00:19:03,576 --> 00:19:04,644 - THANK YOU, DADDY. 491 00:19:04,677 --> 00:19:06,613 - HAVE YOU TRIED THE TURKEY, RAY? 492 00:19:06,646 --> 00:19:10,217 - NOM, NO, NOT YET. I WILL. 493 00:19:10,250 --> 00:19:11,684 I WON'T. 494 00:19:11,718 --> 00:19:13,420 I WILL. 495 00:19:16,856 --> 00:19:18,325 - [coughs] 496 00:19:18,358 --> 00:19:19,592 - YOU OKAY, DAD? 497 00:19:19,626 --> 00:19:20,860 - I'LL BE ALL RIGHT. 498 00:19:20,893 --> 00:19:22,462 JUST WENT DOWN THE WRONG PIPE. 499 00:19:22,495 --> 00:19:24,731 - I THINK HE'S GAGGING ON THE FISH. 500 00:19:24,764 --> 00:19:25,698 - HOW DO YOU KNOW IT'S THE FISH? 501 00:19:25,732 --> 00:19:27,434 IT COULD BE THE TURKEY. 502 00:19:27,467 --> 00:19:29,636 - WELL, SLAP HIM ON THE BACK, WARREN. 503 00:19:29,669 --> 00:19:30,903 - MY PLEASURE. 504 00:19:30,937 --> 00:19:32,905 - ROBERT, DO SOMETHING. DO SOMETHING. 505 00:19:32,939 --> 00:19:35,242 HE'S CHOKING ON THE FISH. 506 00:19:35,275 --> 00:19:37,310 - OR TURKEY. - GET UP THERE. 507 00:19:37,344 --> 00:19:39,312 OKAY, OKAY. I GOT HIM. I GOT HIM. 508 00:19:44,951 --> 00:19:46,586 - ARE YOU ALL RIGHT, FRANK? 509 00:19:46,619 --> 00:19:47,687 - I'M ALL RIGHT. 510 00:19:47,720 --> 00:19:49,656 - OH, THANK GOD. OH! 511 00:19:49,689 --> 00:19:51,458 I BET IT'S THE FISH. 512 00:19:51,491 --> 00:19:53,693 - IT COULD HAVE JUST AS WELL HAVE BEEN THE TURKEY. 513 00:19:53,726 --> 00:19:57,297 - WELL, LET'S GO TO THE FIELD FOR THE CALL. 514 00:19:57,330 --> 00:19:59,499 - OH. THAT IS A PIECE OF FISH. 515 00:19:59,532 --> 00:20:01,634 - I KNEW IT. 516 00:20:01,668 --> 00:20:03,503 - YOU MUST BE VERY HAPPY. 517 00:20:03,536 --> 00:20:05,772 - DEB. - WHAT? 518 00:20:05,805 --> 00:20:08,841 - MA, THIS IS SUPPOSED TO BE DEBRA'S THANKSGIVING. 519 00:20:08,875 --> 00:20:10,543 LOOK HOW YOU'RE ACTING HERE. 520 00:20:10,577 --> 00:20:15,482 - WILL SOMEBODY PLEASE PASS THE FISH? 521 00:20:15,515 --> 00:20:17,750 [coughing] 522 00:20:19,619 --> 00:20:22,789 - DAD, HERE'S A LITTLE ADVICE. 523 00:20:22,822 --> 00:20:24,691 CHEW. 524 00:20:25,925 --> 00:20:27,760 - DEB, YOU DID A GREAT JOB. 525 00:20:27,794 --> 00:20:28,728 IT'S A GREAT MEAL. 526 00:20:28,761 --> 00:20:30,363 - OH, YEAH. NOT TO HER. 527 00:20:30,397 --> 00:20:31,898 YOU KNOW, NOTHING I EVER DO IS GOOD ENOUGH, 528 00:20:31,931 --> 00:20:33,533 AND IT'S ALWAYS BEEN THAT WAY. 529 00:20:33,566 --> 00:20:34,934 - WELL, DON'T WORRY ABOUT WHAT SHE THINKS. 530 00:20:34,967 --> 00:20:36,636 I THINK YOU PULLED IT OFF. 531 00:20:36,669 --> 00:20:39,339 - I DO TOO. 532 00:20:39,372 --> 00:20:41,341 I COULDN'T HELP OVERHEARING. 533 00:20:41,374 --> 00:20:42,575 - MA, WE'RE TALKING. 534 00:20:42,609 --> 00:20:44,411 - I HAD NO BUSINESS 535 00:20:44,444 --> 00:20:46,846 MAKING A TURKEY ON YOUR THANKSGIVING. 536 00:20:46,879 --> 00:20:49,616 AND YOUR FISH IS WONDERFUL. 537 00:20:49,649 --> 00:20:52,552 I MEAN, WHENEVER I MAKE FISH, FRANK WON'T EVEN TOUCH IT. 538 00:20:52,585 --> 00:20:53,920 - YOU DON'T HAVE TO SAY THAT, MARIE. 539 00:20:53,953 --> 00:20:56,423 - NO, HONEY, I DO. NO, I DO. 540 00:20:56,456 --> 00:21:00,793 I, UH-- WELL, YOU KNOW-- 541 00:21:00,827 --> 00:21:02,729 WHEN I WANTED TO MAKE MY FIRST THANKSGIVING 542 00:21:02,762 --> 00:21:04,364 FOR EVERYBODY, 543 00:21:04,397 --> 00:21:06,666 MY MOTHER-IN-LAW WENT OUT OF HER WAY 544 00:21:06,699 --> 00:21:08,401 TO MAKE ME MISERABLE. 545 00:21:08,435 --> 00:21:09,569 - NONNY BARONE? 546 00:21:09,602 --> 00:21:12,439 - OH, YEAH. SHE WAS A HORRIBLE WOMAN. 547 00:21:12,472 --> 00:21:14,641 I MEAN, VERY PUSHY. 548 00:21:15,908 --> 00:21:17,510 WELL, I GUE-- YOU KNOW, I-- 549 00:21:17,544 --> 00:21:19,346 I GUESS I'VE BEEN MAKING YOU THANKSGIVING DINNER 550 00:21:19,379 --> 00:21:20,880 FOR SO MANY YEARS, I-- 551 00:21:20,913 --> 00:21:22,815 I FELT A LITTLE THREATENED. 552 00:21:22,849 --> 00:21:24,717 - OH. I THREATENED YOU? 553 00:21:24,751 --> 00:21:28,321 - HEY, THERE YOU GO, HONEY. 554 00:21:28,355 --> 00:21:31,791 - YOU KNOW, YOU'VE MADE A BEAUTIFUL THANKSGIVING. 555 00:21:31,824 --> 00:21:33,826 - OH, BOY. 556 00:21:33,860 --> 00:21:36,028 - AND YOU KNOW WHAT? 557 00:21:36,062 --> 00:21:39,332 WHY--WHY SHOULD I WORK SO HARD ANYMORE? 558 00:21:39,366 --> 00:21:40,667 FROM NOW ON, 559 00:21:40,700 --> 00:21:43,503 WE'RE ALL COMING HERE EVERY THANKSGIVING, 560 00:21:43,536 --> 00:21:45,638 RIGHT HERE. 561 00:21:51,110 --> 00:21:54,414 - [Ray crying] - OH, HONEY. 562 00:21:54,447 --> 00:21:56,749 IT'S OKAY. IT'S OKAY. 563 00:22:12,632 --> 00:22:14,033 - IF YOU NEEDED ANY MORE PROOF 564 00:22:14,066 --> 00:22:17,404 THAT YOUR THANKSGIVING WAS PERFECT, HERE IT IS. 565 00:22:20,740 --> 00:22:23,042 [men snoring] 566 00:22:34,954 --> 00:22:37,624 CONGRATULATIONS.